Transcription
I'm going to be breaking down a nighttime clip that I had a little while back. This is from New York City before I ever moved to Miami. But I wanted to show you guys this clip because there's a lot of good elements of teasing, having fun, being playful, being challenging, injecting playful negative spikes into an interaction, right? And I think most men struggle with these concepts and they don't do enough of it. Most men are too logical, they're too nice, they're too friendly, they're too polite, and it's not polarizing enough. I want to show you guys how you could take some of the concepts from this interaction and inject them into your own interactions to create more attraction with women.
Now, before we get into this clip, guys, if you're not approaching, if you're not creating attraction with women, if you're not going on quality dates right now, watching content is great, but that alone isn't going to actually change your life. So, click the links down below. There's a link for you guys to apply to work with me one-on-one. There's also a separate link down below for the school community for the guys that want more exclusive content and more of the group style coaching as well. If you're more on a budget. Links are down below for the coaching programs. Guys, let's get into this clip.
>> Wait, you're back. You're standing back up.
>> I said, "Wait, you're standing back up?"
>> I got to get up eventually.
So, first thing to point out, this is the reopen. I actually saw this girl earlier in the night and I was talking to her friends that were nearby. We had a very quick interaction and the cameraman didn't pick that up. It wasn't flirty. We didn't do a name introduction. It was just very short couple minutes of conversation. And I am now going back over to reopen her. And I think a lot of men struggle when it comes to the reopen because they think they need to have this crazy formal proper reopen. And it doesn't need to be that way. Like I was actually just walking by and I said, "Wait, you're standing up?" Because earlier she was sitting down and I think the conversation with her friends was about how their feet hurt cuz they're in heels. And so all I said is, "Wait, you're standing back up?" And she says, "I got to get up eventually." And she's not even giving me much. She hasn't even turned. Like you could see her body language when I open. She's just looking at me kind of over the shoulder. And she hasn't even like pivoted to really engage with me yet. And so after I open from there, I just make an observation.
>> Like your your body like I'm too fat. I can't do that. It's like it's uncomfortable.
>> I say, "I like your body language, by the way." Cuz the girl's kind of standing. She's like standing like this. And then I joke and I'm like, "I can't do that. I can't even do that. I'm too fat." Right? Cuz it's kind of like a weird thing. And you can see she goes along with it cuz she then like now she turns towards me and like shows off her body in like a fun way, right? So just the open, no intent, doesn't need to be a direct approach, especially not in the nighttime environment. I just make an observation and now I'm carrying the conversation. And I also made a little bit of a joke about myself. I was like, I can't do that. I'm too fat. And so, right after that, I just move into a completely different observation. This time, the next observation is about the environment.
>> Why are the lights come on? That's unaware.
>> I said, "Wait, why did the lights turn on?" And she goes, "Are they closing already?" And notice how I don't even answer her question. This is a small but subtle concept that you don't always need to answer the girl's questions. You don't need to stay on any one topic of conversation. You can just say the next thing and ignore whatever she said.
>> Now I get to see what you really look like.
>> I hope it's not a badass.
And so I turn it into a joke. I'm like, "Oh, so now I can see what you actually look like because it was kind of dark before and so I'm joking that like when the lights came on, she actually looks ugly." And this is the first playful negative spike. This is a backhanded tease or neg or joke. But but it's clearly a joke. I'm not like, "Wow, you actually look unattractive." I'm like, "Oh, now I can see what you actually look like." So, it's a very slight little jab to her, even though it's a joke, but it it hits. And she she takes a second to look at me. And then I just laugh and she leans in. She goes, "Well, I I hope it's not a bad thing that I can actually see what she looks like."
Now, this is something very subtle, but also powerful, too, is that there are several moments throughout this interaction that you will see where I am not needy and I'm not so in a rush to say the next thing to her. Like, I say this tease or joke and I kind of rock back and laugh, right? I do that a lot in nighttime environments. I'll make a joke and I just kind of step back and I laugh a little bit and then I'm not in a rush to answer her question. I I actually didn't even respond to her. She said, "I hope it's not a bad thing." And I I rocked back and I was laughing and then I just go into a little bit of a dance and I guys I can't dance for shit. For anybody that's watching this like, "Oh, I don't know how to dance in nighttime envirs. I can't dance for shit at all." But I can sit there and just kind of do a head bob and I'm holding my little Red Bull and I give it a second. And by giving that space and rocking back, it gives the girl an opportunity to now come to you. She steps forward and asks me a question now. And I I'll do it again in a little bit. You guys will see later on that the next time I do it, she actually doesn't fill it in. But that is a great opportunity. If you're on a date, if you're in the middle of a daytime interaction, do not do this off of the open in daytime or night time. It's going to be awkward. You do it once you have the girl's attention. Once she seems to be engaged, especially if you hit her with a tease or something, you can pull back slightly to give her the space to come to you to fill it in, which she does. She leans in and she says, "Is it but is it closing right now?" Which is a small subtle indicator of interest. It doesn't mean that she wants me, but I do take a mental note that hey, when I chilled out and pulled back, she actually came to me and filled in the silence.
>> Is it closing for you now?
>> Is this your first time here?
>> Yeah.
>> No way.
>> This is my first time in New York.
>> Today is my first day here.
>> What?
>> Today is my first day.
>> Oh, I heard you. I heard you. I heard you.
>> I heard you.
>> My bad.
So, she's asking if it's closing. I say, "I don't know yet." "Is this your first time here?" She said, "Yeah, it's my first time here." I said, "What?" And then she goes, "It's my first time." Like, she went to say it again because I was like, "What?" But I wasn't saying, "What? I didn't hear you." I was like, "What? No way." So, then she goes to say it again and I'm like, "I heard you. I heard No, no, no. I heard you." Right. And this isn't actually a tease, but it is a small, subtle, playful thing that makes it seem like the girl I don't even know how to explain. It's almost like as if she's being annoying or trying. She didn't catch the social cue. And so I say that in a way where I'm like, "No, no, I I heard you." And it makes it it gives this effect that she's like trying harder to explain herself and we have a little bit of a laugh about that. So this is a very subtle thing, but again, another powerful technique when they're stacked in combination back to back. And so then she goes, "My bad." And I'm like, "You're adorable."
Now it makes sense for me to give the compliment. Now I can actually give her a hug and say you're adorable. If I open and said, "Hey, excuse me. You're adorable. I needed to come talk to you." That is not the right time to do that. I haven't built up any value. There's been no push away. There's just too much intent on the front end. When especially in nighttime environments or house party or even in daytime interactions, guys, you need to balance things out. Notice how there has been these these playful negative emotional spikes that have allowed me to now get away with a hug and me telling her that you're adorable, right? And you'll see that especially at night time, I have this constant balance of positive and negative that really makes the woman experience a wide variety of emotions, which is what you want in a in a fun, teasing, playful, spark type of interaction.
>> You're adorable.
>> In like a very innocent way.
>> In a good way. And
>> that was even a small little push pull there. I was like, it's okay. You're adorable in a very innocent way. But no, no, like in a good way. It's just like a funny little pushpull thing.
>> You know, you have an interesting choice of words.
>> Okay, go on. What does that mean?
[Music]
>> You can figure it out. It could go either way. That was an interesting choice of words by telling an interesting choice of words.
>> What happened to your eyes?
>> Bad shit.
So, I actually have a bruise like right underneath my eye. I think at the time I forgot exactly how I even got hurt, but I had a bruise under my eye and she she pointed out she's like, "What happened to your eye?" I was like, "Bad shit."
>> You don't want to see the other guy.
>> I'm totally joking. I am.
>> You don't want to see the other guy. Trust me.
And she's like, "For real?" I was like, "No, I'm joking." So, again, I constantly find ways to take the topic of conversation and I bring it back to about being about the girl. What does it mean about her? What does it mean about us? And I'm constantly doing that. There has been very minimal actual get to know you talk so far in this interaction. We're like about 2 minutes in. There hasn't been anything. It's just been observations and jokes and playful negative spikes. And that that's really all I'm doing. I know how Miami girls are. I'm ready. I'm ready.
>> I want to race in Miami.
>> I like that.
So, here's another opportunity for me to get in a little bit closer. She's like kind of qualifying herself a little bit cuz I was like, I know how these Miami girls are. And she goes, no, no, I wasn't raised in Miami. So, she's trying to say like, I'm not like these other women. And so, I take that as opportunity. I put my hand on her shoulder and I I give her a a moment of seriousness where I'm like, I actually like that.
>> I like that cuz honestly Miami girls are fake as shit.
>> All right, so this is a little bit of qualification. I say I actually like that cuz and then I lean in. I say cuz honestly Miami girls are fake as shit. Which again kind of hits her with this positive negative spike as well.
>> Miami girls are fake as shit. For real though, you
>> Who am I? Who are you?
And she kind of takes it a little personally. Even though I didn't mean it to be that way, I kind of meant it more in a general sense cuz she's not from Miami. I think she correlated to her identity and she was like, "Who are you?" And then I just fire right back. I was like, "Wait, who are you?" And we get into this like thing where we're just kind of like looking at each other and we take a step back.
>> What's up?
[Music]
And now I give the I just give it a little bit of space here. I give it a little bit of space. Some of you guys, you're too on the girl the whole interaction. And we're only like 2 minutes into this thing and it's a nighttime environment. And this girl's a little bit spicy anyway. And I'm in that kind of a mood anyway, too. So, I need to let it just breathe for a second. Just like how about a minute ago I gave it space and I wanted to see if she was going to come back in. I'm giving it a moment here to breathe to see if she reopens. Most guys are worried that if you pull back and it stays silent, it's just going to become awkward. It will after a certain period of time. And so now I'm just kind of riding this wave where I'm I'm dancing. I'm chilling. I'm giving her a moment to see if she's going to reopen only because she already did it. So I'm trying to see if she's going to do it again right here. And in this case, it turns out she doesn't. And so now I'm going to reinitiate the conversation just by answering her previous question that we were already discussing. But at least it comes off not needy, right? That's that's the whole reason you want to give space and have playful negative spikes injected in as well. Because then when you do give the intent, then when you do give the compliments, then when you do lean in, it's not chasing and it's not over pedestalizing. There's a nice balance to it where you can keep your value and you come off as like a high status guy based off of the way you're running the interaction. If you're not even getting this far into interactions or you're not going on quality dates with the women you really want, click the link down below. Fill out the application to apply to work with me one-on-one. There's also the school community down below as well. There's a separate link for that for the guys that want the group coaching or more exclusive content like this. Okay, links are down below. Check those out. Let's keep going with this breakdown.
So, the downstairs is about to close in like 15 minutes, but the upstairs is open till 4.
[Music]
>> They're not going to make it though.
>> They're just for another like weekend.
>> It's Friday.
So, this is another little tease. I'm like, "Yeah, the downstairs is about to close, but the upstairs is open till 4:00." You're not going to make it, though. You're good for another like 15 to 30 minutes, right? And she go she comes back and it's like, "No, I'm going to be raging all weekend." I was like, "Well, it's only Friday, so you know, chill out."
>> Today was a trial run.
>> This is my trial run.
>> What's this?
>> You'll be disappointed in
>> I hope it's water.
And so again, and these are all subtle indicators that you're running the interaction well cuz I point out the water that she has in her hand. I'm like, "What is this?" And she goes, "You're going to be disappointed in me." Right? So she's almost like apologizing or I guess qualifying pre-qualifying herself for the answer that she's about to give. And honestly, I I don't think it's a bad thing. Like I actually don't mind a girl that's out drinking water. Like it's cool. I'd almost rather that. I just You know what it is? I give off a very fun and playful vibe in the environment. So, she just assumes that I want somebody who's like fun and partying. When in reality, that's not even really what I want. I was sober tonight as well. I'm drinking a sugar-free Red Bull. But since she's doing this, it's a good opportunity for me to get in a little bit closer and to be sincere. So, I put my arm around. I was like, "Wait, why would I be disappointed?" I actually like that.
>> Yeah. Non-alcoholic.
>> No, no, no. Red flag all the way all the way.
And so she comes back and she's like, "Oh, red flag." Which is like a baby little mini bullshit test. It's not even a real bullshit test, but anytime girls bullshit test you, one of the easiest ways to do it is to just agree and exaggerate. So she goes, "Red flag." And I was like, "Red flag." I was like, "All the way." Right? So that's like one way to just kind of just demolish a bullshit test. It's not even like a a big bullshit test, but she's just coming back and giving me a little bit of bullshit cuz of how I've been in this interaction. And so, yeah, you could just totally just exaggerate it to the point where it's obviously a joke, which is what I do. And it means nothing at this point. We laugh it off and we we keep moving. Do not make the mistake of trying to qualify yourself in this moment. If the girl says you're a red flag, you don't be like, "No, I'm not a not a red flag. I promise I'm a good guy." Blah blah blah blah blah. Like, make it a joke. We're in a nighttime environment. Have fun. Move on to the next topic.
>> You're a bullshit talker. Did you know that?
>> You're a bullshit talker. Did you know that?
>> Have you looked in the mirror?
>> So are you.
So you can see that we're both laughing and having fun. Even though it's blurred, you can still see in her face a little bit. Like she's she's clearly having fun with this. We're getting in closer. We're getting a little touchy. I was like, "You're a little bit of a bullshit talker." Which is a good move, too. You can get in really close to a girl and say that because the words are kind of like a playful negative. So, you can get in close cuz it's kind of like a little bit physical escalation, but the negative from the verbals kind of balances it out. So, I get in close. I'm like, "You're a little bullshit talker, aren't you?" And she goes, "Have you looked in the mirror?" And that's when we have this funny moment of of joking around. Now, there's a couple key elements that happen in the second half of this interaction that you need to do as well because you can't just keep going with what I've shown you so far. So, you got to watch the second half of this video, guys.
[Applause]
[Music]
>> Are you going to dance with me or what?
So, she just said my name twice out of nowhere, which is very positive indicator of interest. And I can tell she's kind of warming up to me. And so, I just get in closer and I put my arm around her. And now I have her body right here. And I talking to her. I said, "Are you going to dance with me?" And so, this is definitely an escalation, but considering where we're at in the interaction, it actually makes sense. And she just kind of laughs. And again, I am not a good dancer, but considering the environment we're in, it's a good move to get closer and to start escalating a little bit more.
>> Are you going to dance with me or what?
>> Don't Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.
And also pay attention that the moment I asked her, "You going to dance with me?" She wasn't like, "Yeah, let's dance." So, I'm always calibrating moment to moment based on her because when I said it, she kind of gave an eye roll. So, you notice how I moved back a little bit and then I said, "Don't do that." And I I leaned and I said, "Don't do that." When I did that, she kind of played with her hair. She laughed and she kind of came towards me a little bit more. And because of those things, we're now actually in a position where we can dance. Now, look, I'm not by any means a professional dancer. We're not about to dance a long time. This is a small little gambit. It's a small little segment where we can now dance for a couple of seconds or possibly minutes depending on how into it she is that allows us to just get closer and get accustomed to being at a very close distance, touching each other, grinding on each other. It's a great move to do at least for a little bit.
>> I'm not even a good dancer. I just have a basic twostep.
>> That's what all guys can't dance say.
>> No, this is what white boys do.
And she's not actually screaming. We're just really close now. So the mic is like right by her mouth. So you can that's why the volume it sounds like she's screaming. It's just she's actually just right up on on the microphone right now. And so I also say look I'm not even a good dancer. We're just going to do a basic little twostep. And then I just lead her to it and we're just we can't even do that. Like literally I can't even do that.
>> Is that you or me?
>> She and then our feet hit. I was like is that was that you or me? Like literally like that's how bad of a dancer I am.
>> I think that was you.
And I and then I just actually blame her. Like I was like wait that was you. No, straight up. That was you.
>> Okay, look. We're going to do a basic twostep. One, two, two, one.
>> I think I should lead it.
>> No, fuck that. The girl doesn't lead. Fuck.
And now you can see that we're at a point where the girl has got her arms around me. We're dancing. We're getting closer. There's been several moments of playful pushing away. There's been a couple moments of genuine compliments. There's been a couple moments where she qualified herself. And overall, the vibe is really good. Now, the one mistake where I think most men would go wrong in this type of interaction is they continue to just do this playful vibe. Like up until this point in the interaction, I have been a little bit of this like cocky funny guy. And I'm saying this because I don't want you to make the mistake of just being that guy the whole interaction. You do that on the front end to create attraction and intrigue, which is the whole purpose of teasing and flirting, especially in the nighttime environments. But once you have the girl genuinely curious about you, and you have her qualifying, you need to now transition into more get to know you conversation. Like, and this is even a sticking point that I've encountered for a really long time, especially when I was in my late 20s, guys. Like I would always be the guy that stayed in the attraction building phase of the interaction because that's where I have the most fun and I'm just I naturally really like to tease women. But don't make the mistake of just staying there. You need to transition into more comfort and connection building. You need to move the girl around the venue. You need to have a little bit more serious conversation. You need to find commonalities. You need to let her know why you actually like the woman. I haven't really done that too much. And to be fair, we're only about 5 minutes into the interaction. But if I could go back and play this better, what I would do now that the cuz the music's about to turn off, I would move her around and get to know her on a more serious level. I would bring her upstairs. I would get to know her friends more and I would create a deeper level of comfort and connection with her if I really wanted to solidify the number and set up a date. Now, to be fair, this was when I lived in New Jersey and I was only filming for the night and this girl was only here for like a day or two. So, I knew there was no real hope of this actually going anywhere because I think the concepts and the techniques that you saw in the first 4 to 5 minutes of this interaction can be used in almost any interaction, okay? Especially in nighttime environments. So, more teasing, more playfulness, more challenging, more pushing away, not being so won over in the beginning of the interaction. All of these concepts can create high levels of attraction when they're done properly in the interaction.
So, I hope you guys found value from this breakdown. And the last thing I want to say is that watching videos is great, but that alone isn't going to change your life. I watched videos for 9 months straight before I ever even made an approach. So, if you're ready to make a true transformation in your social life and dating life, click the links down below for the coaching programs. There's an application for an opportunity to work with me one-on-one or if you guys want access to my school community. If you want more of the group coaching and more exclusive content like this, guys, click the links down below. That's all for this video. I'll see you in the next one. Peace out.