Transcription
What's up, guys? Welcome to my reaction series. So women, we have pushed having children older and older. And unfortunately, um some women are going to be able to have uh kids older than ever. However, there's going to be another cohort of women. Um there's winners and losers in life that are losers and they're either too fat to have kids or um or they waited too long or they potentially caught an incurable STD or endometriosis.
Would you say is a tough experience that you've been through in your life? And how would you say you've overcome it?
They found out that I can't have children and I always wanted a family. I wanted a big family.
What were the thoughts going through your mind in those moments? Cuz as you said that motherhood was something that was like really important to you. And then when you do find a partner that you, you know, you want to settle down with and you want to have that, you know, family life, you know, then being told such news, what goes through your mind in these moments, man? How did that affect your mental health? really difficult. I have OCD and I developed more kind of rituals and things that I had to do to feel like I could cope with the world. It was I was just devastated still going through that process.
What's kind of giving you that positive like vibe about yourself now then? Do you think
I think it's my love of nature and animals. I see the magic in everyday things. I love spring, all the new growth.
At least she's got a positive attitude about it. I'll say
flowers.
I think I'm really lucky. seems sad not
because I have a lot of passions and I'm an artist as well. So I
I wonder what caused the infertility because I'm telling you it's a lot more STDs than we think.
A reminder that if a doctor has ever told you that you can't get pregnant or can't have kids and you obviously still have like your uterus and ovaries and stuff, don't listen to them. Get a new doctor. I'm an OB/GYN and I can't tell you how many times I've seen patients in the office be like, "Oh no, my previous doctor said
this is selling hope." Now, I'm sure there's some cases, try everything, right? But there's going to be a lot of women that get infertile either from an STD or endometriosis.
I can't get pregnant because I have PCOS or endometriosis or because I'm fat or because whatever reason. And I'm just sitting there like, I just want to punch the your past doctor in the face. Don't tell women that. Unless I'm
It's true.
Physically, and I've said this before, unless I'm physically am Where's my sunscreen? To remove your uterus, you can get pregnant. Oh, drives me nuts.
This sounds like mumbo jumbo. you cannot have kids. One, it's a major loss for you as a person to have just found this out that you don't have that um ability to do. There's a lot of grieving involved in that because you're grieving the fact that you will never have kids, the future of not of not being able to experience, you know, what it means to possibly carry a child, hold a child, you know, all those things you just found out. That's a process where you have to work through. You also got to deal with inadequacy. My body is not doing what it's supposed to do, what it was made to do, what it was designed.
Yeah. I think that's got to be a major like failure as a woman on some level. Like you just biologically I mean that's that's the one thing men want, you know, as kids
trying to do. I don't have that ability. So you have to one work through that yourself then talk to your partner as well and get couples therapy to be able to really process and go through that as well because it's that's a challenge because especially if it was something that you guys wanted now you can't do it. Don't not talk about it or not get therapy because of it. If you don't it's something that will affect your rel. Are you guys okay with a man leaving a woman because she can't have kids? I think she should at least offer him a second wife.
That I found out that I wouldn't be able to have kids. So, I've struggled with infertility for about four and a half years now, and I have to say it's been one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through. My husband and I always said that after 2 years of marriage, we would try to start having kids. And we were super excited. The first couple years of our marriage, um, we just would travel a bunch and we were super happy and once two years hit, we decided, okay, it's time to start trying to have a baby. We were super excited for this time in our life. And I just thought I would get pregnant super fast. I had no idea that I would end up going down this crazy rabbit hole of infertility treatments and all the crazy things. But after about a year of trying naturally and tracking my cycle and doing all of that, we didn't get pregnant. And so I had read somewhere that it said after about a year, you should go to the doctor and get checked out to make sure everything's okay. And at this point, I was like, no, it's probably just taking a little bit longer. But we ended up going to the doctor anyways, just to just make sure everything was okay. When we went to our first infertility doctor, he told us basically that our best chance of getting pregnant would be to do IVF. And I remember laughing and being like, "This guy is crazy that he's telling a 22year-old to do IVF."
It's kind of crazy cuz she's so young. Like she got married at 22
and I thought he
For some women it's out of their control. I wonder what caused it. just wanted my money and I was in denial. I insisted on going to a new doctor to get a second opinion because I really did think that doctor was crazy. I thought that he didn't know what he was talking about. There's no way that a 22-year-old could be struggling with fertility problems, right? So, we went to a second doctor to get a second opinion. And what do you know? That doctor actually told me that I was in early menopause and that I had a very low egg count and I had something called diminished ovarian reserve which you normally see in 40 yearear-old women. I'll never forget how I felt when I got that news and it still kind of stings thinking back to that day. Um at the time I just felt really bad like obviously I was just feeling bad for myself but the hardest part for me was feeling like I'm letting down my husband. like he should have married someone who didn't struggle with fertility problems and it was just a really hard time for us. So, flash forward and we ended up doing an IUI and it failed and then we started preparing to do IVF like the first original doctor told us and we ended up doing about three rounds of IVF this past year and they were all unsuccessful. So, obviously it's been a really long and hard journey, but I in a weird way am kind of grateful for it because I feel like my husband and I have grown so close together and we've grown so strong and I look back at everything that's happened in the couple of years that we've been trying to have a baby and I think, you know what, it just wasn't the right timing. So for me at the end of the day I know that God has a plan for me and my husband and I don't know exactly
that's sad because you know there's so many women that get this from STDs and stuff and it's like well you kind of did that to yourself but like when a young woman who marries young has to go through that
is made to do it you always hear oh to have children and get pregnant and give your husband
oh you're fat
a baby and things like that your girl was thin pretty young what else you know
I definitely feel broken like
that's the thing in life is you can't always control the the hand you're dealt and sometimes you're just dealt a bad hand.
I used to like have times where I I stopped going to baby showers
because I just didn't want to be like it's it's it's it wasn't to be like mean to the expected mother or things like that. It was just that I have my own issues that I'm dealing with and to go to all these baby showers and I'm not able to conceive myself. I'm suffering in silence that way as well because like
like I want to celebrate you but like in the deep in inside I'm like I feel broken as a woman like I can't do what a woman's body is naturally made to do. So it make you it make you feel broken make you kind of feel less than a woman cuz like you was like dang like this is what I'm made to do but I can't do it. So it made me feel broken, made me I went through a bouts of like sadness and depression. So it it can it can it can do weigh a toll on you like mentally. Yeah. I can only imagine cuz I can't
Yeah. Um I mean she's overweight but it it's still like you just don't know. It's kind of rolling the dice obviously. Um you know it's kind of like women. There's high-risisk women and low risk women but it's the same thing with infertility. There's high risk and low risk and some people just get a bad, you know, hand. So anyways guys, let me know what you think in the comments. Like the video if you can. Subscribe to the channel. Ring that notification bell and I'll see you next