How to stop overthinking

Overthinking and anxious thoughts can literally ruin your life. I used to be a huge overthinker. I used to think, "This is going to happen," "This person thinks this about me." All these thoughts would go through my head, and I would actually manifest those situations, even though they were never meant to happen. Or I would manifest a person being angry at me, even though that was never the case in the first place, because in my head, I had already made that situation up when it was never going to happen. Overthinking can even lead to such serious consequences.

I learned how to stop overthinking, how to trust life, and I'm going to show you guys how you can do the same thing in this video. Hi guys, my name is Liz, and welcome back to my channel. First thing I need you to realize is no one knows you. Different versions of you exist in everyone's head. See, someone can look at my videos and think, "Wow, that girl saved my life; she's amazing." Another person can look at me and think, "I hate her; she ruined me. I completely feel so lost because of her." Why? Because they had a different perception of me when they were listening to me. I'm the same person, but people have different experiences with me. It's the same way with other people. Like, for example, imagine your mother. If I ask you right now, "Oh, how is your mother?" you will give me an answer, "Oh, she's like this, this is whatever," right? But then I ask your sibling, "How is your mother?" Maybe they had a completely different experience with her and they have a completely different perception of her. But then, who is your mother? Who is she? You don't know. I don't know. And your sibling doesn't know. Maybe your mother doesn't even know who she is herself. That's why I think it's very foolish to think, "Oh, why did they do that? I would have never expected them to do that." "Oh, why didn't that job hire me? I didn't expect that." You didn't know them. You didn't know that person. You had a perception of them in your head, but that perception is not them. That's your experience with that person. That is not that person. That is not that interviewer, that job interviewer. That wanted to hire you maybe thought, "Oh, I thought they liked me," but they, in their head, had a completely different experience with you. Start to understand that nobody knows you, and you don't know anyone. We only have perceptions of other people. So, in that way, you won't overthink situations. You can accept that, "Hey, listen, even though I might have thought I did a great job, that other person didn't have a great experience with me, and that's okay."

The thing is, voice your thoughts in the moment. So my sister said this to me recently. She said, "Liz, the one thing that I admire about you the most is the fact that whenever you say something or whenever you think something in the moment, you voice it; you say it." Like if something hurt me in the moment, I will say it. "Oh, I didn't like that. I'm I'm not really like, I don't make a scene about it. I'm also a very chill person. I don't get offended easily, but if I didn't like something, I'll tell you in the moment, 'I didn't like that. Please don't do that.'" This is also how resentment gets created, and then you become the kind of person you're always angry at like minor things because you didn't voice your opinion when you were mistreated. You collected yourself back then, so now all those emotions will come up for the like the minimum thing, right? The reason why I always voice my thoughts in the moment and what I think is because I cannot afford to let my brain be filled with unnecessary thoughts. I need this to be free, not only for my job but also just for life and to have a peace of mind. I want to go to bed at night not thinking about these things anymore. If I tell you in the moment, "I didn't like that," and we can resolve it right then and there, I'm happy. I don't go to bed with fight, anger, or resentment because I cannot afford that. You feel triggered by something or offended, just say that to the person that offended you or triggered you. Like, "Hey, this is a trigger for me. Hey, this offended me." There's nothing wrong in voicing your opinion. Another thing you can also do is journal about it before you go to bed, like the situation. Journal, write it down, whatever, but make sure that it's out of here onto something else. You can even paint, do whatever, create an art piece, something that removes the that makes the emotions and the thoughts in your head move.

Other thing you need to realize is where is that trigger or fear coming from? See, overthinking is basically creating situations out of fear, situations that might never happen, but you are fearful of those situations. Sometimes people overthink, like, for example, a guy didn't text you back fast enough, right? And you start to overthink, "Oh my God, he doesn't like me. Oh my God, he he doesn't want me anymore." This that you overthink and you create this crazy scene in your head, right? And you start to self-sabotage yourself. Where is this coming from? Most likely you have attachment issues. Most likely maybe a parent has left your life an early age and shown you that you like there was no commitment towards you, so now every single partner you have, you're scared that they're going to leave you as well. So then you start to overthink, and that's where that fear is coming from. And that the person not replying to you fast enough, that's triggering you into that fear, into overthinking. So when you start overthinking something, even if you have a job, right? And that job didn't hire you, why does that trigger you so much? Why? Where is that coming from? Maybe you feel like, "Oh, they don't see me; they they're not they're not validating me the way the way I wish they would validate me." This is making me feel less about myself. I want to feel worthy. These are all triggers. Like, look at the base, what is behind the reason that you're overthinking everything? Other thing is look at facts instead of feelings. See, when we are overthinking, we are acting out of feelings, right? We're acting out of triggers; we're acting out of fear. But look at the facts. That person probably busy; that's why he's not answering you right now. He's not going to leave you; that's a fact. Um, the that job, they didn't hire you because maybe they just found someone better. You were just not good enough for that position. Does that mean you're not good enough in Life or you will not get a better opportunity? No, that's also a fact. Like when those thoughts come up, you have to ask yourself, "Okay, this thought that I have right now that I feel like they're going to abandon me, that I feel like I was not worthy because of that job didn't hire me, is that true?" Ask yourself, "Is is this what I'm thinking right now? This thought, is it true?"

Other thing was like every single time, my therapist actually, she taught this to me. A thought would come up that was like negative or bad or whatever, or even if I saw a negative comment, she said, "Liz, imagine it like with like a bubble in your head, like a thought coming up like a bubble, and you're poking it with a needle immediately when it comes." So imagine I saw a bad comment, right? And it came to my head. I started overthinking. Poke. I I do like poke, like it's I'm poking it with a needle, and and it really helped me. Overthinking will not change the situation. What if does not exist. When you can sit there for hours, for days, overthinking the situation, thinking, "Oh, this might happen; this might happen," whatever, but the only thing we have right now is the present moment. What is happening right now is this, nothing else. You being anxious about what might happen in the future is not real. You might create those situations because of your fear; that's manifesting it, or you might actually start looking at solutions instead of the problem. See, we have problems every single day, right? We we had bigger problems than this; we had smaller problems than this. But did did you not fix them? Are you not still here? Overthinking the situation can only get worse if we allow it to get worse. We can just see there is a problem that arises. All of my successful friends, they do the same thing. Problem comes, we solve it. Okay, how can we solve it? How what can we do? What are the options? Bum bum bum bum bum, and we look at it. You have to, especially with if you're a big overthinker, you have to start thinking quickly in these situations. I've been always in survival mode throughout my childhood, so for me, this comes very easily and very naturally. I'm very good at solving situations under stress. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Ask for help when you need help. If if there's a situation that arises and you feel like, "Oh my God, I don't know what to do," call, call someone, ask someone, uh, ask someone else to connect you with someone else to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You're not weak; you're very strong. You're you're reaching out to people and say, "Hey, listen, I can't handle this on my own." You know how much courage that takes? That is incredibly strong, and people will help you. People will help you. I've been helped so many times by so many people that I'm so grateful for, and I could not have been here without those people. So don't be shy to ask for help.

The thing is, when you're overthinking, calm yourself down. Either go to sleep. I've noticed when I start overthinking a lot, it's also because I either I didn't have good enough sleep or I'm just very tired right now. So then I start overthinking. When I go to sleep, all those thoughts go away because sometimes your body just needs rest, and that's why it's like overthinking, thinking weird thoughts because you're just tired. The thing is with breathing exercises, my my yoga teacher, he actually taught me this, like when you're breathing, we should actually breathe through our stomach so that we relax. So when you breathe in, your stomach expands, and then you breathe out, and your stomach goes in again. That really relaxes you. If you do that a couple of times, your body will relax. Other thing is yoga and meditation. Yoga helps immensely with overthinking and calming your body down. When I consistently do yoga, I'm so so relaxed. Like it calms your whole nervous system down, uh, and meditation, the same thing. Just sitting there, even for 5 minutes, closing your eyes and just realizing that you're right now in the moment, that you're present, and this is what we have right now will calm you down immensely. Go out for a walk in nature, go watch the sunset, go to the beach, go play with your pet. Anything that can relax you in the moment will help you immensely with overthinking.

Other thing is life works itself out for you. See, I used to be, ever since I was young, such a big overthinker because I wanted to control life, and I want I wanted to control how everything went. I knew what I wanted, and I was going to get what I wanted. But what did I not anticipate was all the things that I first had to go through to get where I want. I didn't plan those things, but see life did. Life needed to teach me lessons. Life also humbled me in a big way, so that now that I am at this stage where I have everything, I still have humility. I don't look down on people, and I don't think that I'm better than anyone. And so that's also when I realized all those years overthinking the situation, all those years thinking that this is how it should have happened. No. When I look back at my life, it happened exactly the way it was meant to happen, exactly the way, and and I would have never predicted this way for myself, but this was the way I needed it to come to this point. So it's the same way for you. You might think, "Why are those things happening right now? That's not what I want. This is what I want. It will never get better, blah blah." It will, but the lessons that you're learning right now are crucial for you. You need those lessons; you need those lessons, and you will only realize that when you come to a state that you get what you want, and then you will look back and be like, "You know what? I'm grateful for those lessons. I'm grateful I went through what I went through because I would not be the person that I am today."

Another thing I need you to realize is it was not meant for you. Stop overthinking, "Why does this not work? Why did that person leave my life? Why did I not get this job?" It was not meant for you. You were not supposed to have that thing, and you were maybe you were meant to have something much greater. But because you cannot let go of, "Why did I not get this thing?" that other thing that was meant for you cannot come in. The way I see life is God is always protecting me, and whatever is removed from my life or whatever opportunity I didn't get is because God is giving me something bigger. This is my mentality, and 100% I believe this, and every single time my theory has been proved proven right because God has not failed me. God has my back, and I believe this. Sometimes when people leave, sometimes when you don't get that job, it's not meant for you, and have peace with that. You need to start accepting that people will not like you. Some people will not like you; some people will dislike you for no reason. Some people will not give you that job because they don't like you. People will discriminate you; people will be racist to you; people will not accept you as you are. But that does not have to define you. You don't have to take their perception of you as your reality. You are not what they're telling you; you are not their version of you. Start having peace with the fact that not every job is going to like you; not every brand, whatever, is going to like you because you don't fit their standards. They they want to be with someone else, and that is also okay. The more you start accepting that people will reject you because that's just humans, that's human nature, not everyone will like us, the more easier life becomes. And the more you start thinking, "No, it should be like this. Oh, no, I should have this," you're thinking in lack. Why are you thinking in lack? Do you think because that person walked out of your life, God will not provide you with someone else? Do you think because you didn't get that job, God will not provide you with a better job? Do we as humans think so small-minded? Why do we think of God as someone so small? People are building huge things, spaceships, uh, like even an airplane. How do you even build an airplane? I don't know. How do you build buildings? That's that's like insane skyscrapers. You think people are capable of doing the craziest stuff, but God will not fix your life. Understand that you're not your failure. You know, like, okay, what, it didn't work out? Okay, and you start that business, didn't work out? Okay, and you were married before for years on end, it didn't work out? Okay, and you think you can't do that again? You think you can't get better again? Why do you guys think so small? Start thinking bigger for yourself. You think you were created and put on this Earth to just suffer? No, I don't believe that. I think we were put on this Earth to have the best life possible, and I think God is backing us like crazy, but you guys never ask. Ask, you guys don't even ask other people; you guys don't even ask God; you guys don't ask anyone, and then you're like, "Oh, why is my life so hard?" Ask. Ask for the biggest things. These people are not special. The money and stuff, all these things are not special. Those things come to those who believe in themselves; those things come to those who believe in God and believe that God is backing them. Those are the ones that get it because they're like, "Yeah, life is going to be great for me. Yeah, it should be great because I'm alive." That should be your mentality. My life should be great because I am alive. So let go of trying to be perfect. You're trying to be perfect, trying to do this perfect, this and that. You might create something, and you think that's perfect in your eyes. Someone will comment on it and say that's the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. Once you start understanding that you'll never be perfect because every single person has a different perception of what perfect is, that's when you can fully let go of trying to impress or trying to be perfect. If you're waiting to be perfect, you'll never get it done because you won't even start cuz nothing is perfect. You do it, and do it wrong, do it badly. Let people even laugh at you, but at least make sure that whatever you're doing, you're you're standing behind it, that you love it. That's the most important thing. If you whatever you do, you would buy it yourself, or you would watch your videos yourself, or you think that whatever you're doing is interesting, that's when it will sell because you believe in your own product.

Another thing is you are not their opinion. See, maybe your parents have told you you're not good enough, maybe your teacher, maybe uh, I don't know who told you you're not good enough, your crazy ex, um, your friends, whoever made you feel like you're not good enough. You're not their opinion. You are not their opinion. You don't F that reality for yourself. You have to reaffirm to yourself, "I am the greatest. I am so good. I'm amazing. I'm mesmerizing. I will get everything I want." You know, I grew up in a situation where everything was so bad, like I looked around me, everyone was suffering, everyone was getting abused, and I was like, but in my head, I was like, "Oh, I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it." I would even listen to motivational videos of that will tell that would tell me, "I'm going to make it." Every single day I would go to my shitty job that I hated so much. I would go there like at 5:00 a.m. I would walk there, um, I'll would go there, and I would listen to these people screaming, these men screaming at me, "You're going to make it. You're going to be amazing." This that I would constantly listen to it and reaffirm it to myself because when you have no hope anymore, reaffirming to yourself that everything is going to be okay is actually what makes you feel feel sane in an insane situation.

Last but not least, social media is making everyone crazy. See, listen, social media made it so easy for everyone to compare our lives, and then you start to overthink your life because you think, "Oh my God, they're at this age doing this already," and you can see it, and then you're like, "Oh my God, I'm too late. I can't do it. I will not find love because I'm not old or whatever." Stop. Stop. Whatever people are portraying on social media, I know many people that have this social media platform that are so unhappy in real life, but on their all social medias they look so happy, whatever they have everything, and in real life, it's just not the case. Stop comparing yourself to other people and whatever those people are going through or what they have. You can never take that away from them; that's for them. And what you have right now, that is for you. The only way you make yourself grow is by putting gratitude into your life, by being grateful for what you have. That's how everything will expand more and more, but you just comparing yourself to other people and thinking in lack or being jealous of what they have will never get you what you want. The grass is always greener on the other side until we realize that the only grass that matters is our own. If it's hard for you, just do not follow these people. Do not look at these apps that you constantly see people having better things than you, then walk away from it and literally protect your own peace of mind. And otherwise, just realize that whatever is meant for you will happen anyways, and what is meant for them will also happen. Have peace with yourself and have peace with life. Hope you guys enjoyed this video. I hope you guys learned something, um, and yeah, I love you guys so much. I appreciate you guys so much, and I'm really grateful for you. Thank you so much for watching. I love you guys. Bye-bye.