Transcription
What's up everybody? Just came off the platform at our West Hampton location in New Jersey. Most of what you see is at our Ewing location, but today you're watching a message we taught at our West Hampton location. Part two of Marvel Men. Man, it's called "What a Man, What a Man, What a Mighty Good Man." Guys, you don't want to miss this. I'm gonna ask you to do one thing. If the message helps you, all I'm asking you to do is share it with somebody else. Enjoy the message. God bless you guys. You can be seated.
First Thessalonians 5, beginning at verse number 11. First Thessalonians chapter 5, beginning at verse number 11. Y'all feeling like talking back to the preacher today? Oh, no, you all right. Here it is. First Thessalonians chapter 5, verse 11 says, this is Paul talking. He says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
I want to stop there, tag a title to this text, and I want to talk from this subject: "What a Man."
In 1993, the rap duo group, somebody like '93, I wasn't even born. The rap do ogre. Listen, learn something. The rap dynamic duo group called Salt and Pepper released a, he released a song called "What a Man, What a Man, What a Mighty Good Man." This song was an expression of appreciation for men who were operating honorably and responsibly. One nuance I noticed about this song is that they didn't call him a perfect man. They called him a good man, suggesting that you don't have to be perfect to be good. As a matter of fact, when God created Adam, he engaged in observation of his creation and then did some articulation that is good, because good was good enough for God.
But it seems like we live in a cultural context where there is an obsession with imperfections. There are so many conversations about issues and idiosyncrasies and irresponsible men and arrogant men and absent men that there seems to be a neglect of those men that are striving to be the antithesis of that. I am in no way suggesting that there should not be conversations or attempts to provide accountability to men who are operating in ways that are disruptful and damaging to the family and to the church and to themselves and to their community. I'm not saying some of these things that we do talk about shouldn't be talked about. I'm saying it shouldn't be the only thing we talk about.
There are some good men who are ignored, undervalued, and unappreciated. And this obsession with imperfection is an expression of pride, which blinds us to the reality of our own flaws, and it eclipses the contributions of men who are doing their best to be their best. Some of us are raising our children. Some of us are securing the bag. Some of us are loving our wives. Some of us are mentoring the next generation. Some of us are serving our country. Some of us are serving our church. Some of us are helping our communities. Some of us are creating businesses. And there are many of us who are doing our best to be our best. And we want to hear a little more Salt and Pepper in our lives. We want to hear a little more, "What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man."
And this is, in some sense, what the Apostle Paul is encouraging us to do in this text. We get to each drop on a conversation he's having with believers in a place called Thessalonica. It is the first letter he writes to them called First Thessalonians, and he speaks, watch this, he speaks to a Christian community and he says, "Y'all, encourage one another." Is that what he says? He says, "Encourage one another." As if to say, this is that encouragement is an irreplaceable asset that needs to be present in Christian community. He's saying that people can't go to the next level without encouragement. They can't grow to the next level without encouragement. They can't be who God's called them to be without encouragement. And they are dealing with seasons and circumstances and situations that are so discouraging that encouragement is an act of spiritual warfare. Y'all didn't hear what I just said. I'm gonna say that one more time. The enemy is constantly and consistently orchestrating environments that are so discouraging to us that we must combat that by using this spiritual weapon called encouragement.
If you want to talk about spiritual warfare, encourage somebody. Spiritual warfare is not just expressed by us talking to God about people, but us talking to people that the devil's talking to and telling them that they're not enough and that they will not make it and that they cannot make it. But I told you a little while ago, the devil is a liar. Yeah, that doesn't mean you remember, that doesn't mean he just doesn't tell the truth. It means he can't tell the truth. The truth is not even in him. So whatever he's telling you is a lie. So whenever he starts telling you you can't make it, you ought to start praising God because that means you can. Whenever he says the door isn't gonna open, you need to start praising God in the hallway, 'cause God's getting ready to open the windows of heaven and pour you out such a blessing you don't have a room enough to receive. I don't know who the devil's been talking to and what he's been whispering in your ear, but I came to remind you, weeping may endure for a night, but joy is gonna come in the morning. Who am I preaching to? They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. Mount up on the wings as he goes. Run and not get weary. Walk and not faint. I don't know what kind of adversity you're facing, what kind of obstacles you're dealing with, or what weapon is being used against you. But I heard Isaiah tell God's people, God tell Isaiah, he said, "It is I who formed the blacksmith who is using the flames to forge the weapon." And because I form the blacksmith who's using the flames to form the weapon, I can say to you, "No weapon formed against you shall prosper." It didn't stop there, but he said, "In every tongue, not some tongues, not most tongues, not many tongues, but every tongue that rises against you in judgment, God say, 'I'll condemn you.'" Don't have to shut it down. I'll shut it down myself.
We need encouragement. He says, "Encourage one another and build each other up." Encouragement builds people up. We need more than information. We need encouragement. Sometimes I know what to do. I'm just too discouraged to do it. Let me go to this side over here. I said, sometimes we know what to do. I know I need to pray, but I'm too discouraged to pray. So I don't need you to teach me. Push me. I feel that right there. Somebody open your mouth and say, "Push." You need to warn all your friends that if you don't want to be pushed, delete my numbers. If you don't want to be pushed, don't call me. If you don't want to be pushed, leave me alone. Because I'ma push you into everything that God's got for you. And if you don't want to push me back, leave me alone. 'Cause in this season of my life, I'm tired of doing all the pushing. I've been pushing my whole life. I'm looking for somebody that's gonna push me." Let me just speak this over somebody's life. I believe God's getting ready to send you some pushers. I don't know who this is for, but you've been sowing pushing, and it's time for you to start reaping it. Sowing and reaping is a spiritual law, and you can't sow it and not reap it. As long as the earth remains, it's seed time and harvest. It's about time for a harvest.
We need encouragement. So when Paul makes this statement, he's speaking inclusively. He's talking about everyone, not exclusively. He's speaking inclusively. The old need encouragement. The young need encouragement. The rich need encouragement. The poor need encouragement. The sick need encouragement. The healed need encouragement. He's saying everybody needs encouragement. So he's talking inclusively. And so because he's talking inclusively, that means it's okay if I take the liberty on today, Father's Day, to speak specifically. I'm not speaking exclusively, but I'm speaking specifically on this, on this day, men need to be encouraged. Am I making sense?
And so I started thinking about, man, what is a way that we can encourage men? Then I got a revelation that caused a revolution in my approach. I said, in order to do this, I'm not gonna do this like Paul. I'm gonna do this like Jesus. I said, in this series, I don't want to just preach about Jesus. I want to preach like him. What? What? No, no. I want to just preach about Jesus. I want to preach like Jesus. That's how. How did Jesus preach? Well, one of the methods that Jesus used in his preaching is something called parabolic preaching. Parables. Parabolic. It means that that Jesus would take fictitious stories. I said this in Bible U, one of my programs, not too long ago, and the people almost passed out. You mean them stories weren't real? No. He said they weren't real. You mean the story? You mean the prodigal? No. Jesus just, it's a fictitious story to make a real point. See, some of y'all messed up right now. You're like, "What? Wait a minute. It's a fictitious story?" Jesus just telling a story to make a make a point. And that, that's a pattern he used in his preaching. He would take something that you could understand and use it to help you understand something you couldn't understand. He would take something natural and help it, use it to help you understand something spiritual. He would take something cultural, popular in culture. He would take something cultural and help you understand something about the kingdom. You see it all, all in the gospel. "The kingdom of heaven is like..." "The kingdom of God is like..." "The kingdom of heaven is like..." And he's using natural things to help them understand spiritual things.
So this became my inspiration for the creation of this series called Marvel Me. I'll say 'cause these, these characters ain't real either. I know some of y'all need to know that. Spider-Man not real. And what? Batman's not real. Wait a minute. I want to use some Marvel men. Can I do that as a teaching tool to help us understand some things about a man? Man, because there's some Marvel men that reveal something about made man. And that is what I want to explore in our time together today. Because there are three specific Marvel men that reveal the type of man you may be, or the type of man, sisters, you may be dealing with. I need to explain this because you can't manage what you don't understand, right? Come on now. So in order for me to manage me, I got to understand me, right? And I know we don't talk about this. This is not culturally, uh, culturally popular, but it is a scriptural reality. We talk about how complex and confusing women are. See, I'm losing, I'm losing the room. We talk about how moody. We talk about how moody women are. We talk about, y'all not ready for this one, how needy women are. But if we're going to be intellectually honest, men are just... Come on, brothers. Don't let's just keep it real. You moody too. You be confusing too. First you're hungry, then you're not hungry. One day you all over her, the next day you don't want to be bothered. We're complex too. Because we all deal with the reality of duality. When you become Superman, you don't cease to be Clark Kent. It's the reality of duality. You're Clark Kent and Superman. Which one? Which one of us do I get? Depending on the day. Let me go to this side. Where's my honest people? It depends on the day of the week. It depends on the time of the day. It depends on the circumstance I'm dealing with. Sometimes I'm Superman. Sometimes I'm Clark Kent. There's a hero and a human in all of us. So I gotta know how to. So managing me means knowing how to manage both. Am I making sense? Yeah. We, we, we. And watch this. It's just that we want you to, sisters, we want you to love both. I said, we want you to love both. We're not talking about being enabling or enabling or excusing dysfunctional behavior. We're not talking about accepting something that is self-destructive. But recognizing the reality that I ain't Superman all the time, and I want to feel like I'm loved even when I'm not saving the world. It got real.
So there are three types of Marvel men that, that I believe represents three types of men that are watching this in this room. And I want to use them as a teaching tool to help us understand. The first type of man that's in this room or watching this, that's a Marvel man, I want to talk about is the Incredible Hulk. Because Hulk is in this room and watching this. His name is Bruce Banner. That's the reality of duality, right? But when he gets triggered, when he, when he gets triggered, he becomes a version of himself that is the exact opposite of Bruce Banner. Watch this. He's a man who's trying to manage having anger versus anger having him. He represents a man that's an asset, but still makes you uncomfortable because he's unpredictable. Come on now. Come on. All my people have watched Avengers. Come on. You know you kind of need Hulk, but then you got to watch Hulk at the same time. It's like, help us, don't help like that. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't knock down the whole. I just wanted you to talk to him. I wish somebody would talk back to me today. I just asked you to talk to. That's just. And we need to talk a little bit more about this because there are men in culture and in churches trying to manage their anger. And we assume sometimes we treat anger issues like race issues. And that is, if it isn't extreme, we act like it don't exist. You don't have to use the N-word to be racist. And you don't have to beat me up to have an anger issue. And so I think what we do is we ignore the anger issues that don't express themselves in volatile, physical, or emotional behavior. When you define something by its ex, by its extremes, you never give people an opportunity to deal with it while it's a little problem so it doesn't become a big problem. So we deal with the little things not because we're making a big deal out of little things. We deal with little things because big things always start off as little things. And Bruce Banner represents a man that's wrestling with his anger. He's not angry all the time, but there are times where his rage runs him. See, sometimes, now this is what, this is what I want y'all to check out. Come on, all my, all my Avengers people, check this out. What does Hulk sound like when he's the Hulk? You don't know. You know what Bruce Banner sounds like, but you don't really know. We're not exposed to Hulk's voice. There's not a whole lot of conversation when his rage is running him. He's not talking that much because we think anger always expresses itself in screams. But some of us, anger expresses itself in silence. Sometimes when I'm mad, I don't scream. When I'm mad, I don't say nothing. Y'all, it's getting tight in here. Did you hear what I just said? Anger. And his activity reminds me of a man in the Bible who also had anger issues, and his name was Moses. He was no Incredible Hulk, but he did have anger issues. In Egypt, he killed a man. And instead of objectively and internally assessing himself to see what's in me that allowed me to snap to that degree, instead of dealing with the issue, he buried the evidence. He buried the man and ran. So instead of fixing the issue, he hid the fruit. So he never got delivered. He just got discreet. But so he leaves Egypt physically, right? But watch this. You cannot outrun. You cannot externally outrun an internal issue. It doesn't matter where you move externally, what's in you is going to catch up until it's dealt with. This is what's crazy. Moses has undealt with anger issues, killed a man, then he gets called by God. God, you know, "Take your shoes off, this holy ground." He's like, "Oh my God, Jesus, I'm a new man." Right? Then he gets in ministry, and something happens, and he gets triggered. That golden calf. He goes away, he comes back. This golden calf. Boom. He breaks the tablets. Uh-oh. Wait a minute. That same thing that showed up in you before Jesus, that you thought was gone because you found Jesus, now just popped up when you got triggered. Moses, you thought your calling was your healing? Moses, just because I called you doesn't mean I healed you. That's two different things. He said, "You can part the Red Sea. You can speak prophetic words. I can use you greatly, but you still got to put in the work, Moses, to deal with you." He kills a man, he breaks the tablets in the wilderness, he struck the rock instead of speaking to it. He had so much potential, but couldn't reach his potential because he couldn't arrest this anger. And this is what's scary. An anger problem is not an anger problem because anger is a secondary emotion. What does it mean? You never feel it first. You feel something else first, and then it makes you angry. You feel cheated, then angry. You feel betrayed, then angry. You feel lied on, then angry. You feel handled unjustly, then angry. So until you deal with the primary emotion, you cannot address the secondary issue. Come on. Because the Hulk's anger issue was a result of an experiment gone wrong. There was something that was causing the anger. And until we deal with what's causing anger, we can't address it. What's causing some of that anger for some people? Unprocessed pain. So brother, you can't fix this until you fix pain. The pain's primary, the anger secondary. What's scary is Hulk don't feel pain easily. He only, y'all missed this, when he becomes Hulk, he rips stuff and tears stuff up, and then when he comes back to himself and he's Bruce Banner, then he's flooded with all of the emotions of the damage he did when he was Hulk. I don't even have time to go there because, sisters, I could help you right there. It's like, "How you so crazy and then so apologetic?" Like, "What? You know, I'm just so sorry. I don't know what..." This is too real. Let me go 'cause y'all was shady. Now I'm back. "I just, I'm so, I mean it, you know?" And he does because he's Bruce now. But Moses had pain. Hulk had pain. And there's so many of our dear brothers that are in pain. They're hurting. Hurting because your father wasn't in your life. Hurting that somebody betrayed your trust. Hurting because your career isn't where you want to be. Hurting because you don't have the money you want. Hurting. But God is the one who heals the brokenhearted. And those that broke you, brother, are not coming back to fix you. But God is able to make you stable if you'll just stop trying to deal with the anger and deal with the pain. Pain has got you angry. Pressure has got you angry. Self-imposed pressure by unrealistic standards that you put on yourself. Culturally imposed pressure by standards that culture is imposing upon you. Relationally imposed pressure, pressure from expectations from people that are your friends and your family. And pressure, bus a pipe, it'll make you mad because you're under pressure. And this is men and women alike. Honestly, think about the times when you are your best when it comes to your character. It's when the time, it's when you are the least under pressure. Pressure makes you irritable. It makes you impatient. There's pain. There's pressure. There's performance orientation. This is our tendency to attach our worth and value to what we accomplish as opposed to who we are. It's an unhealthy attachment because the way you feel about you is tied to what you produce. And here's the truth, brother. You can only control if you do the things that make you productive. You can't control what you produce. I can till the ground, plant the seed. Only God can make it rain. Hulk. Y'all all right. All right. I'm wrapping up here.
Second one is, is not Hulk. Second one is Iron Man. That's another type of man that's in the room. Ah, let me get this. I don't want to fall here. Um, whereas Hulk's issue was anger, Iron Man's issue was arrogance. Yeah, that was his issue. His issue was his genius and his greatness had allowed him to be so accomplished and productive that he had an inflated sense of self that was a result of his extraordinary accomplishments. Arrogance. Want you to catch this. This is similar to a man in scripture named Samson. Who Samson had incredible strength, but his strength was not out of control. Samson's issue was his arrogance. He told riddles. He thought he was so smart. So watch this, because he was stronger than everybody else and more needed than everybody else, he didn't listen to people he thought had less than him. Where is the church? Did you hear what I just said? Yeah, yeah. He, he, he didn't listen to people who he felt like had less than him, not realizing that everybody is rich and poor in some area. So they might not be rich where you're rich, but they're rich where you're poor. And if you want to stay rich where you're rich, you got to listen to where they're rich and where you're poor at. So he was rich in strength, but he was poor in smarts. And his family didn't have the strength he had, but they had smarts. He didn't have. They saw this area of his life. It's like, "Man, you keep playing with fire." And because you're not getting burnt, you keep doing the same thing. You're saying you're going to run into that one Delilah. He said, "You keep doing it and getting out of it. You keep doing it and your strength gets you out of it, so you don't run into." Because arrogance impacts your ability to see. Everybody could see Delilah but him. Am I making sense, y'all? And if you remember what happened with Samson, what did he end up losing? His eyes. Because his arrogance caused him insight. He couldn't see. Because arrogance arrests your discernment. You miss signs, you miss red flags, and you ultimately end up injuring yourself or injuring other people. And here's the thing, arrogance must be arrested. And we can do it ourselves, or God can do it for you. Tony Stark's humility started shifting when something outside of him had to be put in him to keep him alive. Did you hear what I just said? I said it was something outside of him that had to be put in him to keep him alive. And you start, and I start operating in humility when you realize there's something outside of you that had to come on the inside of you to keep you alive. Not just to keep you alive spiritually, but to keep you alive emotionally and mentally. And this is interesting. I'm sorry if you hadn't watched Avengers: Endgame, this is a spoiler alert. So close your ears, close your ears. Because I want you to see something that Tony Stark's. Tony Stark doesn't realize the purpose of his power until he dies. Did you hear what I just said? His most humble act. If you don't know what that means, I'm not going to explain it. Just go watch them because I don't want to mess it up for you. But it's most humble act because sometimes you got to die to something in order for others to live. Just like Tony, "I ain't just give you that genius so that you could create all this for you. I gave you this genius so that you can use it to serve others." And you got to be willing to die to some of your preferences. Because when you're arrogant, it's all about you. Some of you dealing with Incredible Hulk, others of you dealing with Iron Man. Your success is your failure. Boy, I don't have time to deal with that. It impacts the way you treat others. Elitism and condescension. And God's like, "I gave you that genius so that you can do better than the next genera, the past generation, to help the past generation, not to insult them." "You ain't go to college, right?" So you could let me. I'm out of here. I'm done.
Here's number three. I'm done. Y'all. All right. Okay. Here's the third one. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. I want y'all to catch this. I am a, a Hulk's issue, anger. Iron Man's issue, arrogance. Here's, I'm not defining Spider-Man by this because I don't think this is the definition that accurately describes, uh, the entirety of his contribution, but it's a significant part of his story. Here's, it's not anger. It's not arrogance. Spider-Man's was apathy. Let me tell you what I mean. His Uncle Ben died not because he did the wrong thing, but his Uncle Ben died because he didn't do anything. He was so frustrated that he didn't get a promotion at work that he's walking the streets and he sees this robber that's going by. People like, "Stop! Stop! Stop!" Say, and he didn't stop. And he's so upset, he's like, "And that was the same man that went and took his uncle's life." It's apathy. And that's some men. It's like they're not doing the wrong thing. They're just not doing enough for the right thing. You're like, "Come on, man. Let's do something." You know you're a good man. Let's do something though. Do something. And the most interesting example of apathy that I've seen in the scripture is the apathy of Adam. Because when this narrative is told regarding Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, this narrative is told almost like Adam was on the other side of the garden, uh, scrolling on IG or TikTok, and then Eve was just over there talking to the snake. But that's not what the Bible says. This is what the Bible says in Genesis 3:6: "The woman saw that the food of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye and also desirable for gaining wisdom. She took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her." Adam was with her. He's right there, just letting her talk to a snake. I'm not gonna bother this, but sister, sometimes you need to let him do his job because you don't always know when you're talking to one. Y'all not, you're not First Lady, am I right? I'm right. I remember we would, so we go way back to college. I mean, we dating in college, and I remember, uh, she had, you know, these little, she, when we was, uh, dating in school, she was like, "That's that's my friend." I'll be like, "That boy won't you?" She's like, "No, he ain't never." And you just, and no, no, no, no, no. You all come out. I need you to be secure. I know men, I'm one of them. That man. All he, all he waiting on, he will wait years for me to make you mad one night. Y'all. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my God. Right then later down the line, people start confessing, "Well, you know, I always had feelings for you." If we. See the same things. We got the same blind spots. Somebody's supposed to see what the other person don't. It was apathy. And as a result of apathy, death undone was introduced to the world. Apathy leads to death. You don't have to do just the wrong thing in a relationship to kill it. Just do nothing. Did you hear what I just said? Because everything in its pre-order automatically goes to death. Death is automatic. Life requires intentionality. Plants don't automatically live. Buy plant and plant it and leave it alone. See what happens. But if you want it to live, you got to position it by the sunlight, right? You got to make sure it's watered. Because things veer toward death. And so if, if there's zest and intimacy in, in a relationship and you want to keep it and you want to lose it, don't do bad things. Just do nothing. And watch you start drifting. Because apathy leads to things dying. Vision dies. Dreams die. Apathy. And I want to say something here specifically about Spider-Man. He had something that every man needs. He had a woman or women in his life on B. Right? Mary Jane had people in his life that understood his purpose to the broader world. Watch it. Get. I want you to stay with me here because let me be a faithful spiritual father here. They had to understand God made him for me, but not just for me. Wow. He's mine. He's mine. But not only am I the world needs what God gave me. And he's gonna probably should prioritize me. He should come back home to me. But he's got to do more with his life. Badly. God's created him for something that's broader and bigger. It's almost borderline selfish to say, "Let the world go to ruins because I want you to stay at home." "Go on out there, son. Come on back home." My wife and I have had a busy life. Sometimes we talk about our children, and I would say to her, I'd say, "If God wanted somebody else to raise our children, he would have gave them to them." They need us. And they will get what they need being us. We need to understand they're going to be our priority. We're going to be at almost every game. Every game. I would fly however I needed to get there. I would get there just to sit sometimes and watch them play bad. See, I'm an honest parent, y'all. Like the coach needs to put you in. Well, I'm like, "No, I need to take you out today." Yeah, we'd be sitting up there. We'd be honest. Like, "Is he playing bad today?" She's like, "Yes." They come out. They come out the game. We find something good to compliment them on. "You know what, son? You just smile so good at your teammates today. So proud of you. Got a great smile. I love it. Great sportsmanship. We're gonna buy you. We're gonna get you a trainer though." We're gonna get you a trainer. So do what, whatever we had to be there to prioritize them. So you're the most important thing to me, but you're not the only thing God's called daddy to do. Because when there's apathy, it leads to death. And so I don't know if you are or are dealing with Hulk, or if you are or are dealing with Iron Man, if you are or are dealing with Spider-Man. I want to remind you of the reality of duality. And I want to remind you that the difference between a superhero and a villain is what you do with your power. If you're working, wrestling with an anger issue, we don't, we don't judge you. We love you. And you're not a perfect man, but you're a good one. Because the world still needed Hulk. And brother, if you're dealing with arrogance, we don't, we don't judge you. Just like you need to address that anger, we want you to address that arrogance. But even while you address it, we can say, you're not a perfect man, but you still look good. Let's work on it. Let's get that right. Because the world still needs Tony Starks. We, we need some of that ambition. Some things aren't created in this world without that kind of ambition. So I'm trying to, I see this next season of my life not just leaning into ministry in church, but also in the marketplace. Because I'm trying to help entrepreneurs see that what you create through your innovation is not just a way of providing for your family. It's a way of loving your neighbor well. When you create something that helps other people, it's a way you actually love your neighbor. So we need you to innovate. We need you to create to serve others, though, not to serve yourself. And to those that are arrested by apathy and indecisiveness, or you got competing priorities and you're like, "Man, I want to lean in here, but I don't want to neglect this." Hey, establish your priorities, but you've got to pursue your purpose. Because where there's apathy, it leads to death. God created you for them, but not only for them. They are primary, just not exclusive.
Father, I pray right now for everyone watching this, everyone in this room. I pray for women who are trying to manage relationships with men, girlfriends and wives and aunts and sisters and mothers. And I pray for men that are trying to manage themselves. God, give us wisdom, strength, and strategy to do it in Jesus name. Amen.
Clap your hands in here. Overflow. You glad you came to church today? Hey, I want to thank you for watching and I want to encourage you to subscribe to this channel so that you don't miss any of our streams and any of our videos. All right, if this message blessed you, do me a favor. Share it with somebody else. I'll see you next time.