Transcription
Can you pick me up some more boob sickles? No, I'm in boob sickles. Boot sickles. Got dog gate, so that's three orders of boob sickles and one holy donkey. Anything else? You know, you know it's a really hot day. You know what would really hit the spot? Boob sickles.
Hey guys, welcome back to another brand new video on my channel. Thank you so much for 60,000 subscribers. It's kind of weird to me. I feel like every time I do one of these videos, it goes up by another 10,000, and it's like blowing my mind a little bit, but I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy you're watching me. Look at me, not literal [ __ ]. Let's just get started. Today we are looking at some funny autocorrect fails. I hate autocorrect so much. When have I ever said ducking? When I would never ever use ducking in a sentence, but for some reason, it always thinks I'm being ducking. Anyways, let's just get right into it.
Hope you're feeling better. Thanks. I don't get dick very often. I predict it won't last long. Oh my god, sick. Oh my god. Well, maybe if you got more, you wouldn't be sick. I don't know what to say. It doesn't get dick very often and doesn't get sick very often. Would once all the other, definitely not in the age of coronavirus, that's for sure. Everyone's so thirsty right now. Walking down the street and like shorts and a crop top is like, I mean, it's nice to get the attention, but it's also like I'm gonna [ __ ] with this group of people that I don't know.
You are definitely coming here for Christmas, right? I'm cooking ham. Yes, and I'm bringing drugs. Oh, like hell you are, Missy. Don't even think about bringing drugs into this house, Melissa. Wow, Mom, chill. I meant I'm bringing Doug. Well, why didn't you say that? Dad's bringing the drugs. I'm bringing Doug, and Doug is bringing the drugs. I'm a gangsta. I'm a straight-up Jean the hamster. Life is the life for me. I've been spending most of their lives in the hamster paradise. Don't make fun of me. Shooting people by day, selling drugs by night, being a hamster is hella tight. [Music] Is it? Is it though? Is it being a hamster tight? I don't know if being a hamster would be cool. I think that if I were to become an animal, the last animal that I would want to be is a hamster. Nothing against hamsters.
Chicken vaginas sound good for dinner? Chicken vagina sound good for dinner? No, not really. What would you rather have? Oh my god, chicken fajitas. What the Frank phone? Definitely not chicken vaginas. If I get 600 chicken vaginas and a small fry, I'm sorry. Wet chicken vaginas? No, vaginas. Vaginas. I needed chicken vagina today.
Hey, can you get pregnant before you come over today? What? Oh my god, I meant to ask if you could get Pringles at the grocery store. Pringles, the chips, not pregnant. I really need you to come over today, but first, would you mind getting pregnant? Sure, why not? Anything for you, boo.
Not much, just drinking this puke juice my mom bought for me today. Yummy, right? Not my first choice in juices, granted it does taste a little funky, but other than that, I could drink this all day. Dude, I meant brewed. Sure, sure. That's what they all say. You're drinking the pube juice. Hmmm. Get there at 6:00, buddy. You can bring a bisexual if you want. I mean, boardgame. What kind of party is this again? The kind where you can bring a bisexual and maybe become a bisexual yourself.
Mashed potatoes are [ __ ] goblet potatoes tonight. Frank is a [ __ ] goblet. Oh my god, but her potatoes bit hurt. Oh, buttered finer and potatoes. Why would it guess [ __ ] goblet? It is [ __ ] goblet, a word I'm actually gonna look up. [ __ ] goblet. Googling [ __ ] goblet. [ __ ] goblet. It's an urban dictionary. [ __ ] goblet. The same coffee cup that your female significant other uses every morning. Oh, okay, okay. I've never heard of the term [ __ ] goblet. I'm gonna use that. I'm gonna use that term. You are such a [ __ ] goblet. Ha.
I always wear sweats to babysit lol, but it's the first time to meet them, so I don't want to be like, "Hi, I'm a slob and I'm here to ignite your children while I watch TV and eat your tasty snacks." Clearly, I meant ignore and not set fire to, please. So light though on fire, that looks bad on me. Please don't like the children on fire, friends. She's a bad babysitter. Got her boyfriend in the shower. She's gonna invite the kids on fire. You like my song? It's gonna go platinum, I can tell. Oh, bring some Yankee oil. Some blood tanning oil. Bring some tanning oil. What kind of word is yanking? Please don't bring your KY. That's good [ __ ] laughing, so aren't I. I'm crying and trying to explain to your dad why. Ever notice that when you're trying to explain a funny autocorrect to someone, it's nowhere near as funny? It's like you're losing your mind with laughter, but like it's the ultimate inside joke because if you explain it to someone, they're gonna be like, besides, Chipotle is closed for nine hours and 30 more minutes lol. You know the times. Ha ha. Well, McDonough donk is open 24 hours. Holy crap, I'm at McDonald's. McDonough tonged. I want to go to McDonough donk. Cheeseburgers. Anyone else want to call it McDonough dog from now on? My phone hates me, but apparently it enjoys large butts. Accurate. Was weaning some more, and I saw it chillin'. I thought if I left it alone, it'd leave me alone. I guess the rules have changed. He stung me twice. [ __ ] That's not nice. I'm gonna come lick him in his little B wiener. Oh my god, kick, not lick. He's probably still seeing you. No freaking clue what to get Mom for Christmas. Yeah, I know. Just run into Hallmark and grab her a horny man. No. Oh, they sell those there now. Good to know. Next time I'm in a pinch. WTF. How does ornament become horny man? I'm sure Mom would also appreciate a horny man, just saying.
I love thunder so much. I know, me too, except when it makes my dog bark, so I usually only when I'm outside. My dad barks. We have to come for him. I'm so sorry. I imagine his manly vocal chords caused much more than a small dog. Oh, did you mean dog? My dad barks at thunder, and that didn't mean dog. Woof.
What kind of medicine should I take if I've been [ __ ] all night? The day after pill. Oh my god, pucking. I'm it. I've been pucking all night. Puking. Puking. I meant puking. Thank God I'm too young to be a grandma. She's a good sport. Good spirit. Chicken chick. What's up? Not much. I've just been sucking penis all day. That's good for you. Oh dear God. Shucking penis? You're sucking your penis? Penis piece of shirt. Phone. My phone is a piece of shirt. Shirt. Love you, babe. Good night. My love for you is strong. I would buy you a casket if I could. Castle. I promise I'm in castle. Autograph. Why do you have to ruin me so, Emily? Hello, but also at casketed input to buy you a casket, Emily. Deep. I caught some squirts. That's nice, I guess. Yeah, you want one? No, thanks. You can keep those. Those squirts? You sure? They're the flying ones. Who ain't flying squirts? Why would I want that? Squirrels. I thought you were sick or something. Look how she didn't realize that she was typing out squirts. Do you want flying squirt? Always wanted flying squirt. Yeah. My morning was she, and the rest of the day was hot. Monterey is good this morning. I choked a goat and pissed in my coffee. [Laughter] No, I choked on toast and spilled my coffee. I like the other one better. You would, hippie. I do like the other one better. Mm-hmm. It was a lovely morning. I took the goat and pissed in my coffee, and then I drank it. Mmm. Dad and I are going out dinners in the microwave. Awesome. You're the best. Where are you heading? He's gonna show me his [ __ ]. I'm suppr excited. WTF. Mocking you? Why would you say that? Oh my god, his car. Yeah, I got it, Mom. Thanks. Stupid phone dock. Where he keeps his boat. Hmm. And what are you gonna do on that boat, Mom? Boats. All the crazy [ __ ] happens on the boats. She's gonna go see the doc and his [ __ ]. Great news, Grandma. That's almost sexual. Okay. Homo. Hot lips. Hots tulips. I'm getting fisted now. Frustrated. Grandma is home from hospital. Oh, Hot Lips. But why were you typing that in the first place? Autocorrect fills out whatever you've been typing the most, so why are you typing homo hot lips? Huh? No shade. I'm just saying you probably type it a lot.
Man, my dad just yelled at me about coming home late. I remember he used to always hit me when I was a kid. I know how you feel. My dad used to take out his dick and whip it at me. Want to talk about that curse? Yeah. Oh, wait, I mean stick. Stick, not dick. All right, that got dark. That got dark. Moving on. Moving on. What are your plans for today, then? Nothing beyond seeing you. Dead xx. Dear, but also dead. You need to work on my evil laugh every day, so you can only do an evil laugh when you're actually laughing. Can't wait to see you, babe. Hurry up and get here. Woohoo! It's Friday. Screw the gym. I'm getting pregnant tonight. Uh, shouldn't we talk about that first? Oh my god, I wrote Pringles. It autocorrected to pregnant. Was that a heart attack? Well, you know how he feels, Pamela. You know how he feels about you getting pregnant. Hmm. Well, yes. The world is full of ass waffles. Yes, it was. Wait, did you say ass waffles? Yes. My bad, stupid autocorrect. I meant possibilities. I like a soif 'el. Me too. Let's start using it. Is a spa feels good or bad? Cuz I feel like it would be a good insult where you're just, you know, you see a Karen on the street, you're just like, "You're an ass waffle, Karen," but that's also insulting to waffles. I was a little confused. I think our son is a hobbit. He's eating a third breakfast. Perhaps we should rename him Dildo Baggins. No, bimbo Ben. About Bilbo. Knock dildo. I should have went with Frodo. That is awesome. Not awesome. Horrifying. Dildo Baggins. Mm-hmm. You said dildo. Ha. Hope I didn't wake you guys up. Before you didn't. We're laying in bed. Dad playing with my anus. My Asus. My laptop. Ha. Who's that person? Is that Kim Jong-il? Mom, it's Britney Spears. Does it look like I'm talking at all? That's that's fully Britney Spears. Come over. I miss you. I'm too fat. Time to use that gym membership. I got you. Far too far. Wait, what? Mmm. Well, that got awkward real quick. All right, guys, let is they for this video. I hope you enjoyed it. Be sure to tell me your most embarrassing autocorrect fails at down below in the comments and what else. [Music] Subscribe. [Music]