Transcription
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Admiral. General. You went on a trip for many months. Tell us about your trip. -My king. My prince. Our trip has been a tremendous success. -[ Laughs ] Excellent. I knew you would manage to reach China. Your ship must be full of silk and spices. -Your majesty, we couldn't reach China. There was something in our way. -A new world! ♪♪ -Well, you go around it. -You go around the New World. -Around it. -Why didn't you go around it and go to China? -The land is very large... and rich. Not in silk and spices, but in other things. -Well. -In this new land there are many strange beasts and I think we can sell them for a lot of money. Observe -- the turkey. -I hate it. -Why does it have a pair of -- on its face? -How dare you bring us a chicken with -- on its face? -Your Majesty, I don't think they are -- -That they are -- man. -Tur--. -I know what some -- look like. [ Turkey gobbles ] -What else? -Well, perhaps you'll like this next beast more. A llama! -Oh, my God! Why didn't you show us this first? [ Laughs ] Exactly what we want, Dad. A horse, but worse. -Thank you. It's good that we finally have a horse, but it's garbage. -Take it away. -Next! -Vegetables or some food. The tomato. -That apple is slimy inside. -The squash. [ Both yell in disgust ] -What -- is that? -That melon has herpes. Get it out of here! -I told you. -Shut up, Miguel! -Are you guys making a joke? -Forgive me, but we also discovered this plant that when smoked gives a feeling of pleasure. Tobacco. -It looks like poop. -What was your plan with this? Come to the palace, light a piece of poop, and then what? Do we make you a duke or something? -Breathe some smoke. It gives pleasure. -Does he want you to breathe the poop? -[ Coughs ] Horrible. I hate it. Wait. I don't hate it. This is delicious. [ Laughs ] Do you have a piece of poop that my father can breathe? -[ Inhales ] Yes. It's good. What else? -I've saved the best for last. Gold! -Ah, okay. Start with that. Next time, come and say: "I have found gold." And then say: "We also found melon with herpes." -Ah, well, of course. -Now go find more gold. -Yes, and more poop to breathe. -Yes, more poop. -But don't bring chicken with -- on its face or bad horses, okay? We don't need more of that. -Exactly. Go find those things and then go to China and look for silk and spices. -I'm telling you again, this New World prevents us from sailing to China. -You go around it, my brother. -May you go around it, little brother. Go around it. -Around it.