Transcription
It's hilarious how society keeps pushing marriage on men, but men, it seems like maybe we're just really slow and stupid. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe we really are Homer Simpson on some level. But we're finally coming around to the idea that our lives can be so much better. We can have so much more independence, so much more autonomy, so much more money, so much more general life satisfaction when we're single.
I think that for you guys who really feel like you got to have a woman in your life, you can have that. Just don't marry her. Because the minute you marry her, she's going to lose respect for you. As long as you're dating her, she's got to work at it. She's going to have to put forth some effort to maintain that relationship.
Have you ever wondered why more and more men are deciding to remain single? Something that might surprise you is that in a recent survey, married men reported feeling disrespected by their partners 10 times more than single guys. This surprising statistic reveals a really important trend that more and more men are deciding to remain independent and autonomous rather than get into relationships. The erosion of intimacy, respect, and autonomy are critical to why more and more men are choosing to remain single. They're just not seeing that the juice is worth the squeeze. Let's talk about it.
A recent research paper in Harvard University found that being in a relationship reduces your autonomy by about 37%. And this can feel unbearable to guys who really desire a high level of independence. Especially when that loss of autonomy comes with all the manipulations and the uh coercion like I said in that last video, blackmail and uh all that stuff. So yeah, giving up your autonomy has a general actually no a direct effect on your ability to enjoy your life for many many men. And it's this problem that I think that women are unable to overcome, especially in their current condition where they seem to be very outwardly focused on social media and getting the most likes and things like that.
In an article I recently read, this guy who is pretty financially well off talks a little bit about why he has decided to stay single. He's got a couple of houses. One of them's in Miami where he enjoys um restoring classic cars. And then he loves surfing in Portugal in the wintertime. And when they asked him, "So why don't you get married?" And he basically said, "There's just no benefit in it to me. I just don't see any reason why I should." And I think that more and more guys are coming to that same conclusion. What are the benefits? Why would we want to go down this path? There just doesn't seem to be any reason to do it.
Now, I guess if you're trying to have kids, maybe maybe you can justify that. But for the vast majority of men, especially those of us who are focused on our careers and um enjoying life to its fullest, having a partner can really complicate things.
If you've been in a long-term relationship or you've been married for any period of time, you've probably had this experience where you wake up one morning and it dawns on you that your life is not your own. Someone else is making all the decisions for you. What you're going to have for dinner, what time you're going to wake up, what time you're going to go to bed, where you're going to go on vacation, where you what neighborhood you're going to live in. Hell, she may even be telling you what kind of job you're going to have. This is a complete loss of autonomy and it is a sign she no longer respects your ability to make good decisions about your own life. And because you have given up on arguing with her about every single thing that comes down the pike, you're stuck living your life by her priorities. She's going to be dictating to you when, where, how, whatever you want. There used to be this old thing like, "How high do you want me to jump? What color do you want me to shit?" That's kind of what you're looking at right now.
Marriages are a complete loss of male autonomy and it leads to a general sense of dissatisfaction in one's life. When you no longer have control of your own experience, you feel like you're a slave to another person. You're always honoring their considerations, their their priorities, their um their needs, their desires. And I don't know where it happened in our history where men had to turn into these um sacrificial lambs, these u martyrs where we give our lives over to women. Is that the Hallmark thing and the Disney thing all coming to fruition? Is that what's happening? And we've been brainwashed into this way of thinking.
When is it possible for men to experience autonomy and happiness? If we can't do that within a relationship, if we can't do that inside the marriage, there's no question we are getting out or we're not entering into it to begin with. And I think more and more men are starting to see their lives that way. And it's becoming clearer to them that this lack of autonomy is a symptom of a lack of respect that they have been experiencing in their relationship for a very long time.
In a 2022 study, the Journal of Marriage and Family found that single men experienced a 22% higher rate of life satisfaction and happiness. Think about that. This is from a magazine or a journal that reports on marriages and families, and yet they're doing this report on single guys. Just consider that for a moment. If there was bias in any publication, it would certainly be this one. And the fact that they came out and published this story because you think they would want to hold that information back to the best of their ability. It's probably a lot worse than than the way they they uh portray it. But yeah, 22% more life satisfaction. What's that worth to you?
You know, think about this from a a a life value perspective. You're not getting a refund on any of this time. What can you do with your life as a single guy that would bring you happiness, joy, satisfaction, fulfillment, all that stuff? And then think about trying to add a woman to that situation. I know we have this idea in our head about what women are and how they're going to behave and how they're going to be our wonderful partners and all that stuff. And it's just It's just We convince ourselves that we're going to find this perfect person and she's just not out there. She's just not. I've looked. Trust me, I've looked high and low. I've been with dozens and dozens of women and I'm telling you, they're all a little whacked. They really, really are.
Just think for a few minutes and see if you can remember the last time a married guy, say in a family, on TV or in a movie, was portrayed as a competent leader, someone who garnered respect from everyone in the family where everyone saw him as someone that they could count on. He had their back. He was the one that would make the right decision. He would make the right call. Yeah, that doesn't happen. You know what you get? You get Homer Simpson. Anyway, all these guys are these bumbling idiots who need some woman to fix them. Art portrays reality and then reality portrays art. It becomes this cycle. And for whatever reason, our media has decided to pick on guys. And I guess guys are an easy target because we let we don't fight back. You don't fight back. You know, if you pick on women, man, they come out for you. They so our families, our wives, our children, people that we know kind of just assume that we are just a bunch of bumbling idiots. And that means that you have no respect coming from your wife or a lack of respect coming from your wife. And that is the cardinal sin. That's the one thing that men cannot deal with is losing a woman's respect. Because once that respect is gone, um there's nothing left to have in a relationship. The relationship is dead. It's over.
In a survey of men who were in long-term relationships or were married, they complained that they were about three times more likely to feel disrespected in their relationship as a married person than they did before they got married with their girlfriend when they were dating. That in the dating phase they felt pretty good about the relationship but after being married for a period of time they felt like the respect had faded away like they were being disrespected on a regular basis.
One study that was comparing the general happiness and um life satisfaction of men in their 30s and 40s, single guys versus married guys. The single guys were about 40% more likely to say that they were very satisfied with their lives than the um married guys. Just think about that for a second. Being single in your 30s and 40s made you feel 40% happier with your life than if you had gotten married. That's not a very good ad for marriage. You know, I can see that marriage is probably not going to survive going into the future in its current form. Obviously, some significant things are going to have to change if we're going to continue having marriage as an institution in our country.
Research shows that the loss of intimacy in a relationship is pretty common. More than a third of relationships are basically sexless. Well, many, many more are basically on life support where hardly any sex or intimacy is happening at all. Men enter into this relationship thinking that they're going to find an intimate partner. And what they end up with is being manipulated and controlled by a desire for sex and a woman who is um not interested anymore for whatever reason. And that erodes that man's desire to be in the relationship. And certainly it makes it less likely that other men are going to get into one.
One study found that married guys spend an average of 14 hours each week doing chores, getting buying groceries, mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, doing laundry, all that Single guys spent less than half that at 6 hours a week. That statistic alone should tell you a lot about where the advantages are and the benefits are to you as an individual. Now, you can say that, you know, maybe doing chores is changing diapers or running kids around and that sort of thing. And certainly it is. And, you know, I'll be the first to tell you I got a lot of joy from being a dad. There's no question about it. But, um, yeah, if I could have done the all the dad stuff without being married, that would have been ideal. That would have been ideal.
The consequences extend way beyond the bedroom, though. Without intimacy, couples drift into roommate territory. And there is nothing worse than living with someone who doesn't even see you. It's almost like you don't even exist. The sense of loneliness that can come from being in a marriage that lacks intimacy and has entered into that roommate category is a living hell. Flat out. There is no question about it. It is a living hell. One survey participant put it perfectly. He said, "I'd rather be alone than feel alone while being married." And I've seen that in the comments quite a bit as well. The irony is stark. Men commit to avoid loneliness only to experience it more deeply than they ever could on their own.
I've also had the opportunity to talk to quite a few guys who never got married. And you know what's interesting about these guys is they're all rich and they're all relatively happy. You know, the guys going through divorces, oh my god, the emotional trauma that they have experienced. I mean, I've had men cry to me on the phone or on on on uh Zoom calls. I mean, just sobbing about the state of their life because of their up marriage. But when I talk to single guys who are just contacting me about dating issues and and commitment issues and things like that, generally speaking, they're all financially well off. They're all pulled together pretty well. They're all pretty good-looking. They're all actually in relatively good shape. You know, their lives are pulled together. They're living within their means. They're saving money every month. They're taking vacations to places that they want to go. They're eating meals that they want to eat. They have the autonomy. They have the independence. And guess what? They're still getting laid. Well, the married guys aren't getting any of that stuff. So, why on earth would you want to be married? Oh my god, it's too much.
The truth is really simple. Men aren't necessarily just avoiding relationships. They are choosing themselves. And that is the thing that most people have never seen before where men are putting themselves first. We've always been expected to put others ahead of ourselves to be the sacrificial lamb. And we've come to the conclusion that we're not benefiting with from that at all. So, we've decided to put our own happiness at the top of our own agendas. And as a result, we're experiencing higher levels of satisfaction. We're earning more money. We're saving more money. Our lives are just better overall. We have better relationships. And generally speaking, we have a higher sense of life satisfaction.
It's not necessarily about rejecting love or even women for that sake. It's just about not getting yourself into a institutional relationship where all of the leverage goes to the woman, where she has all the control, and where you are constantly compromising in order to accommodate her, where her values, her priorities, her desires become the focus of your life. And for whatever reason, for generations and generations, men have done that. And I was one of those who did it, too. And I got to tell you, being single for these last 5 years, it's been like an awakening. It's like an enlightenment. It's like saturator. I have come to the understanding that life is so much more than having a woman in your life. And it's so much more um fulfilling when you're not reporting to somebody else.
All right, you guys. That's all I got for you today. I'm going to add this one in. I think I'm going to go back this direction. First of all, remember, if you like the video, please like and subscribe. If you know some guy who might benefit from it, please send it to them. But in the meantime, stay healthy, and if you can, stay single.