Transcription
My name is Theodore Skip Wormsley, US Army, Third Infantry, retired. Was medically retired because of, uh, some nonmedical issues, some, some drug-rated issues. Cleaned up my act, moved out here to the West Coast, looking for the woman of my dreams. Like I said, they call me the Worm for a reason. You know, I'm not just a mustache, but, uh, for a nickel, you can ride it. I'm, I'm a big, big boob guy.
Well, I can do push-ups all day with or without a partner, just keep pumping. Three words to describe myself: hostile, mobile, and agile. I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe that something, uh, like love needs to be developed over the first few hours of a relationship, where you show that you're financially stable and that you know how to handle your business.
In a sa, do I believe in a soulmate? No, I do not. I'm strictly a Caucasian dater. Hot oils, strong thumbs, Hawaiian music, these are all things that, uh, touch me at a, at a level of frequency that I, uh, first experienced in a small Quansan hut. Get a little emotional thinking about it, but, uh, I'm going to need a minute.
If a genie said, "Hey Skip, here's three wishes, what do you want?" A couple titties. I don't have a family currently. I'm packing downstairs, ladies. That's what makes me different.