Transcription
The situation is not appropriate for me that I would have missed opportunities to perform. So I was hiding myself before the course, but after that, right now, I did many, many conversations with my manager, and right now, I, I, I built a very safe environment for myself because I brought up everything that I had in my mind in a good way, and we addressed them one by one, and now I feel safe.
Wow, that's, that's, that's so amazing. Um, completely different, uh, let's say, type of environment you had when you were entering the course. So that, that's like music to my ears. And it's interesting how you said it brought empathy for others.
I also think you learned empathy for yourself in the course, if I remember correctly.
Yeah. Yeah. I was so harsh on myself. Right now.
Yeah. You, you really carried so much, uh, weight, so much shame. Uh, um, and I think that was affecting you in your life more than you knew.
So, yeah. Yeah, you can feel proud, uh, of that growth you made. And it's very hard to feel empathy for others when, or actually, there's a lot of people that feel empathy for others and none for ourselves. But, uh, in order to actually self-actualize, differentiate, we have to have both. We can't just have one or the other.
So, yeah, exactly.
Yeah. And, uh, can you share an example of a situation you handled differently, like a specific situation, um, because of what you learned?
Yeah, I was in, um, so it's about dealing with, uh, insecurities that I had and the fears I had in, um, in a meeting with my managers, uh, in the new company I'm working. It's a a startup. So I was in a meeting with my manager and he asked me that why you are actually, why you're doing that specific behavior. And at first, I tried to say it's not like that, I didn't do that. But then I said, let's admit it. Yeah, I was afraid. I was insecure that because you fired one of our colleagues, I feared that if I tell you that I want to, for example, work two hours from home on Wednesday because I have a therapy session, I didn't tell you that. So, I went to the session in the working hours. I just blocked my calendar. I didn't tell you because I thought that maybe it's not appropriate. But right now, I just want, I, I see that it's better to ask you that it is okay that I have one hour session every Wednesday. So, let's just block it out and it is what it is. If you are not okay with that, I will change the time. So he said that is perfectly okay. But if you don't tell me that, I will feel weird because you are a part of the company and if you're not available, you're affecting the team. So, um, I, I would have, I would have imagined that before the course, I would not talk about that with my manager. I would have hid it because I was so scared.
Yeah, I remember, um, there was a specific moment, uh, where I, I can't remember the situation. And of course, you don't have to share it here in this, uh, recorded interview, but, um, my response to you was, be honest.
Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, I, I, I had a. Oh, another good one. I, I was creating my side hustle business and, um, one of the thing was that I wasn't going to share it with my manager. Then I suddenly said that the transparency.
Yeah, the transparency. And I talked to my manager and I asked him, what do you think if I want to work on my business after the working hours and what do you think about the conflict of interest and anything? And he said that, I honestly encourage you to do that because it's an sort of, and I need you to have an entrepreneurship, uh, spread. So I want you to go out there and sell something and see how it goes and bring your experience to the company. And it was so encouraging for me that right now my side hustle is selling, I don't know, 400, 500 euros per month. But, yeah, it's, yeah, but the money is not that much, but for me, uh, it's like I did that without violating my own integrity and without violating the company's integrity.
That's amazing.
Yeah, really amazing for me. That's, that's such a shift in your behavior like, uh, and, and what's great about it too, uh, when we think about, uh, um, the motivations of individuals and stuff, your, your manager has it right. Uh, when we work on things that that ignite us and make us excited, it makes us, uh, less tired. Uh, it brings us farther from burnout. Even if we work a lot more hours or something, uh, we have this kind of energy that you can get from other places because we feel as though our lives are purposeful.
Yeah. Yeah. True. Yeah.
And I think when, when you are committed to your own integrity, you don't feel pressure in neither of the times. Before, when I was handling multiple things at the same time and I didn't share it transparently with others, I was feeling lots of pressure to do both of them and it didn't go well in neither of them, you know. But right now, I have, uh, more clear boundaries. More, more pressure, more shame, but also it takes a lot of, uh, cognitive space to try to remember what did I tell this person, what did I tell that person. If we walk in life with transparency and integrity, we don't have to remember what we said.
Yeah.
And we also have access to all of the help, uh, that could be, uh, there available to us.
Exactly. Yeah. True.
Um, what changes have you noticed in how you communicate, make decisions, or inspire others?
About this one, I think, um, about how I make decisions, I think I now value transparency more. And about communication, I feel like, uh, I have more effective relationships with others because I'm not, um, I'm not missing expectations because of the transparency. So I think this is the biggest shift. I, I don't know, it's a shift or it's a change, but, um, yeah, I feel that.
Yeah. Nice. Beautiful. So, so great. It could also help you in your personal relationships.
Yeah.
But I, I really believe self-leadership. It doesn't, uh, just affect our careers or our work life. It always starts at home. It starts with our relationships with our family, with our friends. Uh, yeah, everywhere. So you see usually results happening everywhere in your life.
Yeah. So, um, have you seen any tangible results such as an improved collaboration, recognition, uh, confidence, balance in your work and life, perhaps a promotion, uh, or pay raise, anything like that?
Tangible results?
Yeah. Um, when I was in the middle of the course, I changed my job. This was one of the biggest changes. So it raised my compensation, but it wasn't the biggest, uh, income for me. The biggest takeaway for me was now I work in a company that is matching my values, that it increased my satisfaction from life because, um, I think that value mismatch is one of the reasons that you feel miserable sometimes at work, and that is one of the biggest, uh, results I had. And the other one is my side hustle. I always wanted to create my own business and I have never expected that it's going to be coaching. I thought that I want to build my SAS, but right now I participated in a one-year course in ICF, International Coaching Federation, and I'm getting certified as a coach, and I have eight clients, and I'm helping them. They are from Iran right now, but, uh, I started to help from my community from Iran at the beginning, then I want to make it international. So I'm on the way to building my business part-time. So these two are my biggest results from the course, I think.
Yeah, it's great. I hear a bit of the Ikigai, uh, giving what the world needs, you know, the service, and I believe Iran is part of your passion and heart and what the world needs. So it's beautiful that you start there.
Yeah. Another thing I did was mentoring. I did 80 hours mentoring for people for free, and it was one of my happiest moments in the previous three months, and I started it only for the purpose of serving, and it felt amazing.
It felt amazing. The message I got.
If I, I mean, if I remember the guy that started the course and was thinking more about extensive cars. This is such a shift, like such a shift. It's insane. I bet you had no idea that service could give you more life satisfaction than an expensive car.
Back then.
Yeah. I remember something that, uh, I understood that I didn't know what I want. Yeah. You know, I think maybe what, what all the people around the world needs right now is to know exactly what they want at the core, you know. But sometimes you, you want something and lots of