Transcription
So when we do them, when we did them, uh, just the two of us, then I really understood it, and it's something that come comes to life. Worthy goals. Uh, for sure, it's, it's, it's keeping my focus on way, way, way less things, but the ones that actually are making a difference. And when I think about my values, um, I mean, I copied from you because I remember you picking up your post-it with them written. So, I also have them written in my notebook. From time to time, I just go to that page.
>> Yep. It's always, it's always here with me.
>> Yes. Yes. So I, I don't have it currently on my desk, but I do have them in my notebook. And this part is super relevant to remind myself of of the values I have and also the superpowers that I have because we, or I tend to forget, forget them and just go into this automatic mode where you do everything without thinking. And many times, just looking at them makes me stop those 30 seconds I need to, hey, wait, yes, that's why this is important for me. Okay, this is missing from my, from my communication, and I just say, change a sentence and go like, okay, this is what I want to say because then it relates way more with me based on values or superpowers or or or even in my goals.
So, >> yeah, um, I, as you, as you mentioned that, maybe you want to explain to the audience the difference between values and superpowers.
>> Okay, so, >> this is a test. Yeah, as I understand them, >> um, the, the values for me are the things, things that they, they really live inside me. Uh, they are things that I need from others and I need even from myself, to myself. >> And without them, I feel that I'm out of place.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh, things feel uncomfortable. I don't, I don't, I don't react the right way. I react in an impulsive way, and then I go thinking, why did I do this? It makes sense. So, it's kind of, it grounded me in in the right place because it's me.
>> Mhm.
>> And and knowing them also makes me understand why I have certain needs. They're not just because of me being, for instance, selfish or because I like these. It's because they're really something that I need to fulfill myself, who I am. When we talk about superpowers, it's just like superheroes. It's something that I have as a very strong thing. In many cases, and again, before us doing the program, I did, I did them without understanding or noticing them. Now I know I have those superpowers, and from time to time, I even use them intentionally, mindfully, saying, I need to use this because to diffuse this situation or to reach my goal, I really need to put this superpower. But the superpowers come very naturally because there's something that that you possess. You don't think about it to use them.
So, >> something, something like this, and this is the difference for me.
>> And maybe, uh, because I'm testing you here, um, how do superpowers relate to dragons?
>> All the superpowers relate to dragons. I mean, most of the times, uh, some of the dragons, they don't allow me to use my superpowers because they, they scare me, and they, and they, they kind of come, come with with some worryness or some fear. And when that exists, it kind of, it's, it's the kryptonite for Superman. The dragons kind of diffuse the superpower, and then it's, it's very hard to use it because I, I lose my confidence or I lose my courage. So, but then when I hear the, the dragon, and when I understand why he is worried about something, why is saying what it's saying, then the superpower comes even more, more, more strong because then I understand the, the caution or or what's driving the dragon, and when by understanding it, then the superpower kind of of multiplies, and the kryptonite works actually in the opposite direction. It, it's a multiplier of strength.
>> Yeah. And in fact, um, a lot of our superpowers came to be because of our dragons.
>> So when we are understanding them, uh, you're really unlocking the power, um, because they wouldn't even be there if we hadn't had that dragon. So it also helps us integrate with the dragon or find a kind of love or nurture of the dragon, even though, like you said, when it's kryptonite, it can hold us back.
>> Yeah. Yeah. And and as I said, in the past, by denying the the dragon the right to express his feelings, I was actually allowing for the kryptonite to work because then, in my mind, I was also not addressing the problem, and I would also, I was although I was denying it, I was actually just accepting it as a reality and and and allowing it to block me. So, yeah.
>> Wow. Okay. So, how has your approach to creating impact with colleagues, friends, your community, maybe your family also changed since completing the program?
>> Um, I mean, I feel more free and more light. Things don't seem so heavy. If I look back like two years, everything I was doing felt very heavy, very, very hard to achieve. and even in my personal life, and now it feels light. Doesn't mean, doesn't mean it's easier. The problems are there, still some of them solved, new ones popped up, so that that's life just happening, but I feel light and more prepared to address them. Uh, do I have replies for all the problems I have or do I have solutions? Absolutely not, but I know that I can get there. So I have a different approach even about the problems. Sometimes it annoys me, and that there are those days that, uh, I think, oh, come on, this day, should I, should delete it from my life, just bad thing, bad thing.
>> We all have those days, right?
>> Yeah, yeah. But the reality is that in the, in the day after, or at the end of the day, when reflecting, I, I can go back to all these learnings I have and go like, okay, let's breathe. What am I missing? Let me understand this. What can I do? And sometimes I can't do anything. But that's also true. That's also true. It's also relevant that if I understand this, this reality, I can't do anything, then I can also let it go because there's nothing I can do. I, I can't worry too much about it. So it makes those things light. So that's, that's kind of what I want to say.
>> Yeah. That's beautiful. And if you can't do it, then maybe somebody else can, right? Maybe they even get energy from it.
>> Exactly. And, um, can you share an example of a situation you handled differently because of what you learned?
>> H okay. Um, one example, okay, without putting too too many details on it, but enough. Uh, in a conversation with with my CTPO, when he joined the company, uh, which was before me joining the program, uh, we had a conversation, and and he would say something about, hey, you didn't do this, or I was expecting this from you, and that would immediately kind of shut me down, and I would take note. Oh, I need to change this. But I, my mind would go there, and and and I would shut up. Um, last month, or two months ago, we're in December, so somewhere probably, uh, in in end of October or November, we were having a conversation, and we were saying, "Hey, I would expect this from you and your team." And it was so natural for me to go and say, "Okay, but from what perspective are you saying?" And he said, "Oh, in this perspective," and I was saying, "I don't agree with you, and this is why." And I explained why. And it's not the fact that I was able to answer. It was how calm I was doing that because in the past, I would go so stressed about replying to him. Just because, and it was so natural. It was just a normal conversation. And and this difference, this is huge because if I, if I can go and talk with the CTPO, high to eye, with respect, because disagreeing is not about not being respectful. It's actually the opposite. I'm respecting him by telling him that I don't agree.
>> And it must be so much, um, let's say, less stressful for him to approach you about something because he doesn't have to worry like, oh my gosh, how he's going to react.
>> Yes. Yes. Or or me, probably at that time, shutting down and don't say anything. He doesn't know what I'm thinking. Like, I have no clue what Mike is thinking. So, is it good? Is it bad? I mean, maybe with my face, I know I'm somewhat transparent. He may spot that I didn't like it, but he doesn't know why. And now he knows exactly what I'm thinking about it. And it's fine. If at the end, we don't agree, I will still respect his decision because he's, he's the CTPO. And if I need to do it, I will do it. But he knows that that my opinion is not that one. So.
>> Yeah. And in fact, um, uh, in order to work together successfully in a team, uh, you can have different convictions, as long as everyone's values are honored.
>> Exactly. Okay. It's even valuable because these, these dynamics that are created between these agreements, they lead to other decisions that if we just, if I would just shut up and accept, we wouldn't find a better, a better decision that fits both parts, or even sometimes more parts because some of our decisions are not,
>> Because you're able to have a conversation.
>> Exactly. Exactly.
>> Yeah. Nice. And, um, what changes, although you just kind of mentioned it already, but what changes have you noticed?