Caleb Hammer Goes Off on the Worst Guests He's Had on "Financial Audit"

Can you take me through a couple of examples? Just so, just so, um, my listeners can know like some of the stuff that's on your show, right?

Yeah, I mean, do you want them to pull up some shorts? Even, um, yeah, I mean, I know we have a couple. Um, oh, sure. We were just talking to this, uh, this couple. Uh, they're both, uh, the, okay, try not to get canceled, I guess, lesbian couple. And they, oh, no, we know what lesbians are. Yeah, yeah. Uh, they just, they're obsessed with Disney. Mhm. Lots of Disney adults are. And they're Gen Z. And they are obsessed with birthday months. I hear birthday months so much with Gen Z. In girl math, and what is your birthday month? That thing, birthday month. So you have to celebrate. So for their birthday month, they spent $2,000 on Disney exclusive passes and then went to Disney World. Spent a lot of money on that. Then they're going to Disney World two times next month. And then one time in the summer for different birthdays, different birthday months. And they spent, what did I have? I had $21,000 in one month. When they make $7,000 a month. And what is it? It's not like on, like, is it like lessons to talk like characters? Like how far, like, what are they getting into? I don't know. They live in Arizona and they drive to LA to just have their little special birthday. This is their birthday. I can go into debt and [ __ ] my life. It's my birthday. Oh, I see. So something as simple as your birthday, they can go 20 grand in debt. Yeah, right. The whole month. Let's see this right here. And this is some of it. Who Disney in these last couple months? Two Disney's next month. You guys are literally poor. We only went for one day in November. You still traveled there, bought a gillion Gars of food, took our nephew for his birthday, his birthday. And then we went for my birthday. Oh, if I hear one more thing out about lesbians and their nephew, you know, his birthday. I don't give a [ __ ]. My birthdays. What is this obsession with birthdays? How are you guys getting there from Mesa? Getting what? Getting it's in LA. So it costs money to get there. Yeah, we drive. We drive there. So you're getting places to live? Does it cover the place to live when you're there? Nope. So you're spending money to spend more money? Yes. Do you get the free food while you're in there and free drinks? No, we pay for that too. Separate 10% off merch. It, this is not crazy. So yeah, it's like, you would think, especially, do you can find deals nowadays where they probably could have got some free food vouchers or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just stayed off campus and, you know, went. I, I'm okay if they go like once, once a year. They're going, they have like five planned trips already. Yeah, for Disney. And what does that give them? I think, um, strippers and lesbians love Disneyland, right? I noticed that. Lesbians also love this. It's our nephew's birthday, right? Cuz for a lot of lesbians, it's probably as close as they will get to having a child, right? Just because of science, math, or whatever. And, um, and nowadays, that's changing some. But for a long time, a lot of lesbians are like, we got to get our, you know, our nephew. You know, it was like, that's like the biggest craziest thing, you know? So I, there's a lot of nephew obsession, um, in the lesbian community as well, you know? Yeah. Um, but that's a lot of money on Disney. Yeah, it is. And not much return. You get a, a return, but you're an adult also. Yeah. But unlike most lesbians, I think they're going to last forever though, because they're on the same page. And usually couples that aren't on the same page about money, that's where they divorce. But them, they're on the same page about wanting to ruin their lives for Disney. So it's okay. They, they'll be fine. Yeah. They need to have a Disney. Now, I wish Disney had a hostel or kind of like a, um, Section 8 area. Yeah, they should. Cuz that'd be very magical if you ended up like in the trenches. Yeah. Instead of the Montreal, you get a little spray-painted one. Just a little sketchy. Someone tweaking out in there. Yeah, yeah. But it has somebody's put like, like Elsa likes to on the side or something, you know? Or just spray-painted some wild [ __ ] on it. I think that could be kind of interesting. Um, okay, so you're talking to people that are wasting too much money, usually lots of debt. Okay, a lot of debt. What are some other ones that you're seeing? We, lot, we had this dude. Uh, we frustrated incel buys women instead of dating. Was the title. Oh, uh, he went into $8,000 of credit card debt just so he could go to strip clubs. He sacrificed eating so he had more money to go to strip clubs. Wow. $2,000 hours a week on strip clubs. And his quote was, "I'm a Sigma male. I can just go to the strip club and get some booty that way." I guess it's easier for him. He was a little disappointed though, that he couldn't liquor bite them though. That was his one complaint. Okay, so he's not, he didn't get the, um, fluid pass or whatever. I don't know what. There's a, that was another one of our guests that got the fluid pass. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Well, strippers, is that age-old kind of bait and switch? It's the illusion, you know? That's why they always catch men like masturbating in their cars outside of strip clubs because they're, you know, they've built up this whole illusion. Um, that's a lot of money to spend on stripping. Now, I do, I respect the fact that he was going without eating though. A lot of people just like, yeah, I'm going to snack and and still waste this money. Yeah. He picked it up in the military, I guess. That's what they were all doing overseas, visiting strippers and stuff. I guess that's how they made it through. Dieting and visiting strippers. Yeah, I could see that. Um, there was another one you had. What was the one, um, bring up one of the ones that we had pulled up? The guy in the red suit was an interesting guy. Yeah, I took the loan out to fund my emergency fund. Where is this emergency fund today? I saw about, $2,000. So this guy took a, a loan out to fund his emergency fund. Yeah, like 20% interest, too, by the way. Dropped from $2,500. Uh, I spent some of it on what emergency? Uh, learning how to do hair extensions. Okay, that's an emergency. I wouldn't say it's an emergency. I, what do you think an emergency fund is? The money out of the emergency fund to buy a class for extensions. The interest rate on this is 28.64%. Yes. Wow. Okay, so originally, it wasn't for the emergency fund. I just thought that that would be a good idea. Okay, so let's stop it there. So this is the kind of stuff that you're running into? Absolutely. All the time. And this is a young man. He took money out at 28.64% interest to learn hair extension lessons. And that was considered an emergency. Well, first, the fund is emergency fund. So he takes out 28%. Even though, like the best thing you get in a high yield savings is 4% right now, something like that. So you're losing a net 23%. But even still, then he just drains it from the emergency fund to learn hair extensions. Which invest in yourself, invest in your skills. We like that, right? At 30%? I don't know. No one would say go get a degree for 30% interest. So learning hair extensions at that doesn't make sense. But he wants to move to Thailand to escape it though. So I think that that's his out. To escape the debt? You mean, uh, to escape capitalism, is what he specifically said. Yeah. Do you see a lot of that? I'm going to fly away to another country. That seems like a very fairy tale type of energy, honestly. No surprising. A lot of people when they just get overwhelmed by their finances, they really just put their head in the sand and they just forget about it until it all comes and bites them in the ass. That's usually when they come on our show. They realize they've had too much and they watch one of our episodes and like, "Oh [ __ ], I got to apply." And that, that's when we usually see them. Is when they've realized it's too much and they're in the most dire situation, but they haven't fully awakened a why. So they're still defensive on things. I'm sure they're nervous on camera. They're just normal people off the street. But that's why they're still defensive and they're trying, trying to understand like, what is going on? And there's lots of cope talk. Lots of cope talk across the table from me. And what does cope talk mean when you use that term? Yeah, just like, I, I, I was allowed to do it. It was my birthday month. It's okay. Excuses. Yeah. It was okay to go to school for 12 years and take out private student loans to pay for an expensive apartment. I was just trying to survive. So a lot of people trying to, seems like deflect the reality of the world. Yeah, like how can, what can I do? Take what class can I take? What school can I stand longer? What can I do to not have to face the fact every day that I have to be the one to survive myself? Absolutely. And I was there too. It just takes that moment. Takes that moment for everything. I, I haven't hit it for going to the gym or dieting, but it takes that moment for plunging into the deep end. There's usually something. For me, it might be a heart attack. But for my finances, it was, you know, [ __ ], I can't pay this month's rent. I'm continuing the cycle of foreclosure notices. So they usually find their moment. But they just don't know why things are bad. But that's when they come on. We meet them at the bottom. Usually some need a little further to go. And that sucks to see. Yeah, that sucks to see. But people that have come on our show though, uh, the median guest pays off $10,000 in 10 months. So it does work. It works really well. They just need that wakeup call. A little that adult moment where the, it's the first time someone's given them like the real [ __ ] without without just trying to skate around. Yeah, because then also after you have a piece of reality, that's you're like, a moment like this. These are real moments with people who have made some mistakes. Or we've all been there. I mean, I remember I had a cell phone. I was like, I'm not paying Verizon. They don't know me. That was my thought. These [ __ ] don't know me, right? And I was riding on a bicycle at the time. Mhm. You know, I was on my bike on the cell phone, you know, just eating up minutes or whatever, just running up a tab. Mhm. And I was like, these [ __ ] don't know who I am, you know what I'm saying? I like to see them come get this [ __ ] money, right? And my friend's house who I was living at, his dad was like, "Get [ __ ], pay the [ __ ]." Yeah, you know. And then I, I think that's when it started hitting me like, "Oh [ __ ], it hit my credit, right?" Next, I didn't know I had credit. I didn't even know I had credit until they called like, "Hey, your credit's bad." I'm like, "What is it?" Yeah. And like, your credit. And I was like, "Yeah, dude, put him on." And they're like, "No, your credit's bad." And they're like, "You owe $1,100 to a Verizon." I thought you could just run away from. And you can't. But that was like, kind of a bottom for me. I was like, "Oh [ __ ], it's really real, right?" So I think moments like this are really real to people. And then you have a gentleman here who seems to be kind of fluid, sexually fluid, I'll say, maybe. I have no idea. He's dressing up like he kind of has a look of he's like the arch nemesis of like the Monopoly guy or whatever, right? Or kind of like a Christmas sort of like a, like kind of like a, um, Carmen San Diego. Yes, yes, yes. Like, hey, Carl, like, like kind of like Carl San Diego, right? So I feel like he has this, like, and it's a good energy. I like he, so obviously he's, he's brave to do, to have his own vibe, right? You can tell that, right? He's confident, confident. He's a business owner. This guy. He is. Wow. Wannabe business owner. Uh, wannabe business owner. But then he also has this emergency fund. And I think a lot of people sometimes when they, they'll create an emergency fund, a lot of fluid people will be very like, you know, like, "Oh, your this jacket doesn't fit. It's an emergency." You know, the emergencies can be very, it's like, is that a real emergency type of thing? They see it as a pile of money. Yeah. And that pile of money needs to be spent. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Honestly though, that's still a better mindset than where a lot of people come. A lot of people will come on the show and they really haven't heard of emergency funds and they say their credit card is their emergency fund. Oh, and that's, I mean, well, he again, he took a, a high interest loan for it. So I guess that's pretty similar. But at least he understood he needed an emergency fund. Some people think if anything happens, you put it on a credit card. Now, a lot of people don't have an option, so they do do that. But then, you know, we try to help them pay off the credit card as quick as possible. But any other, uh, any other group that came on your show that was kind of fascinating to you? I would love to play one more clip from your show. What's another one that we have? They said we could play. Yeah, I just encourage you guys to go if you like, you know, you get a financial take. It's very much, um, it's just, it's a perfect microcosm that you're in. And it can be a macrocosm too. I'm not trying to little it by saying that. I'm not the best with words, but I think it's just a perfect, uh, like, like nucleus that you're in of like entertainment and finances. What's this one right here? Oh, yeah, play this one. Dude, we built up $75,000 of student loan debt. Say the degree one more time. All right, study Shakespeare. Okay, Shakespeare, lovely guy. What are you going to do with that? Um, well, that's such a complicated question. Like, oh, no, I was really hoping for a more. You knew what you were going to do with this much school. And this, this is where you just have to say, we come from different worlds. You're not going to understand this. Um, you won't understand like the precarity and why it's really. What do you mean though? Like your reaction there was like, oh, I. No, I studied music composition college. I was in the College of Arts, School of Music. But I asked the job and you didn't know what to say. So I have a lot of experience working at writing centers. So I could be, um, what are, yeah, what are you going to do with that? Yeah, you know what that is? That is another major thing that is happening a lot throughout is the continuous college because they don't want to leave college. So they go for the master's degree, the doctorate degree. And that's more and more we're seeing so many more people doing the endless college. Get the other degree because once you leave college, it's a scary world. You're on your own. It's very scary. I want to go back every day. I want to go back every day. And this person gets a Shakespeare degree. So yeah, doctor and Shakespeare. To be broke or not to be broke, dude, that's the question. I feel like what now? Unless now, unless you're going to go to a Renaissance fair and get winked at by the king or something. I feel like that's going to be an uphill climb, dude. You know? Well, she wants to be a teacher. That's what they do. You go to school to teach other people to go to school. You stay in this world. There is a, there's always a person who stays in school. Yeah. And PE sometimes it gets blamed on like, look at this dude, he can't get his diploma or this girl is an alcoholic and she, you know, goes to, you know, Rutgers or whatever. But every now and then, there's the opposite of it. Of somebody who just stays in because they don't want to get out and face the world. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.