Transcription
Welcome back to the Enough is Enough podcast. Today's topic, how to pray for your narcloving loved one. Your loved one, family member, or close friend is in a relationship with a narcissist. How do you pray for your loved one? In this video, I'll tell you how. Here's a hint. These are not even close to the typical nice Christian prayers. They're biblical prayers.
This podcast is based on my new video series, Someone I Love Is in Love with a Narcissist. How to get your person to wake up and break up. Just about everyone knows someone that that you care about deeply, family member or friend who is with a narc. That's why I wrote this series. Married or not, we want to break them up permanently. You'll find this video series only on my website, david eclarkphd.com. That's Clark with an E. Amazon begged us to to carry this series and we said no. Of course, I'm kidding. It's just on my website and you can watch the introductory video of this series for free. And on the website, you'll find all my anti-narc resources.
Okay. Today's topic, how to pray for your narcloving loved one. You can't win a war without prayer. In Ephesians 6, Paul teaches us that prayer is an essential part of spiritual warfare. And believe me, you're in a spiritual war when your loved one is with an ark. Prayer is desired by God. He wants us to pray a lot. In fact, all the time. Paul says, "Pray without ceasing." Prayer connects us to God and his power, his guidance, his patience, his encouragement, his protection. And prayer is answered by God. But you have to ask. God wants to be asked. He knows your prayers. He knows everything. But he wants to be asked because it creates a connection between you and him.
Do not pray for these things when your loved one is with the narc. Do not pray for the narcissist to change. Waste of time. Narcs don't change. Don't waste your prayers on that. Do not pray for the relationship between your loved one and the narc to improve. Waste of time. Their relationship can improve because there's a narc. Do not pray for your loved one to learn how to cope, deal with, and manage the narc. We don't want coping, dealing with, and managing. We want a breakup, a permanent breakup. There are many Christian therapists I know and that I come across in my in my research and and what I do uh for a living here and in the ministry who who are into helping a a loved one, a person deal with and cope and stay with an arc. We do just the opposite in this ministry. We're getting you the heck out and now I'm going to help you get your loved one out. No interest in helping them cope and manage as they're destroyed. And if they're married, okay, we want a divorce. Absolutely. Because you have biblical reason to divorce when you're married to a narc. Chronic, ongoing, never going to stop emotional abuse. 1 Corinthians 7:15. Do not pray that your person can tolerate the abuse. We don't want tolerance. Tolerance is enabling. Tolerance keeps your person in the relationship. Tolerance leads to destruction. We want your person to not tolerate the abuse, to get sick of the abuse, to break down and want out. Do not pray like nice Christians often pray for peace and comfort for your loved one. No, no, no, no. Peace and comfort keep your person stuck to the narc. We don't want peace and comfort. We want agitation, disruption, misery in your person for the greater good of saving their life and getting them away from the narc.
Okay, here's what you do pray for. If your loved one is not a Christian yet, certainly pray that she become a Christian or he become a Christian. If your loved one is a Christian, pray that she grows closer and closer to God. Certainly always a good prayer. Pray that your loved one will be miserable, unhappy, not at peace, and that she will see that the narc is causing all of her pain. That's a good prayer. Pray that your person will have a crisis, and that crisis will motivate her to want to break up. All big chains happens in a crisis 100% of the time. Pray that the narc will do something, say something so outrageous, so traumatic, so hurtful, so over the line that your loved one's eyes will be opened to the truth. Pray that your loved one will see that the narc is a narc and abusive and will not change. Pray that your person will realize that the people who support the narc and her staying are clueless, wrong, and dangerous, not to mention stupid. Pray that your person will see that the narc loves only himself. He does not love her and he never will because she believes, let's say it's a woman. Your friend is a woman or your loved one. She believes she's in love with the narc. She's not. And she believes the narc loves her. No, he doesn't. Pray that your person gets an Ephesians 5 righteous anger at the narc and that her anger is sustained. We don't want a brief spirit. We want sustained righteous anger. I'm getting away from this dirt ball. Pray that the narc is exposed by God as a fraud and a deceiver. Pray that God brings the narc but trouble, misery, and unhappiness in every area of his life or her life. It's a female narc. Pray that God takes the narc out of the relationship. That the narc will reject your loved one, leave, and never want to come back. Yeah, that will hurt your person. Oh, but it'll hurt far worse if the narc stays. Pray as David prays about his evil enemies in the Psalms that God will take the narc out. Kill the narc. That doesn't sound very Christian, does it? It absolutely is. This is up to God, but you can pray for it. I was I was reading I think it's in Galatians in my quiet time just this morning where Paul has very hard words for false teachers who are teaching a different gospel. And he says, "May anyone who teaches a gospel not like the one I taught you to to be eternally damned, condemned to hell." Whoa, harsh. Same thing here. This person is destroying your loved one. Now, obviously, this is up to God. Taking the narc out, but you can pray for it. One car accident, I'm begging you. Up to God. Pray for God to protect your loved one from the narc. Now, we pray for pain for your loved one. Yes, we do. but also protection of course. Pray that God will defeat Satan and his demons in this spiritual war. He has infinite power. Pray that God reveals to your person the spiritual war that is raging. That he will realize Satan is using the narc to destroy him. We don't often see or think about the unseen world. Well, it is raging, a spiritual war every second of every day. And certainly in this situation, Satan and his demons want your your loved one to stay with the narc and be destroyed. And also that's why if you enable the narc and don't follow my plan and someone I love is in love with a narcissist and you play along and you and you stay contact in contact with the narc and you're loving and they come to events, they'll just the narc will destroy everything. Don't do that.
Finally, pray specific scriptures from God. God loves it when you pray his word, his precious word back to him. You honor God by doing this and you are empowered by God. God listens to his word and will respond and of course you're closer to God. Here are some scriptures you can pray. Ephesians 6:11 about putting on the full armor of God. This is your need to put on the armor. Satan is not only attacking your loved one, he's attacking you because you are in the war. You are a threat to him. You can expect attacks from Satan when you're trying to save your loved one from the narc. Oh, Satan doesn't like it. You're on his radar screen. You need the full armor. Isaiah 54:17, which says, "No weapon turned against you will succeed. The narc and Satan will throw every weapon possible against you. None will succeed. You will claim this verse." 2 Thessalonians 3:3. This says, "The Lord will strengthen you and guard you from Satan." You and your loved one need God to strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 2 Samuel 22:3 tells you that God is your rock, your protection, your shield, the power that saves you, your place of safety, your refuge, your savior, the one who saves you from violence. You and your loved one need all these things that only God can provide. Proverbs 19:8 says, "To acquire wisdom is to love yourself. People who cherish understanding will prosper." Pray that your loved one will get the wisdom that leads to loving self, self-care, self-respect, which means leaving the narc. You're not going to get any of those things. Quite the opposite, if you stay with the narc. Psalm 109. Here, David prays for God to take vengeance on his enemies, for God to punish them severely, for God to kill them. The narc is your loved one's enemy, though your loved one doesn't realize it yet. The narc is your enemy also. The narc is certainly God's enemy. Pray the verses in Psalm 109 and ask God to deal harshly with the narc to destroy the narc. Nothing wrong with those prayers.
For more verses to pray to God, get my escape the narc devotional, I will be free. I think you'll find it very helpful. It's on my website, david.clarkphd.com. That's clark with an e. And if you have a loved one who is with a narc, dating a narc, living with a narc, engaged to a narc, or married to a narc, then you need to get my video series, Someone I Love Is in Love with a Narcissist. And if you want to join our Hate the Narc and get rid of the narc team, we'd love to have you subscribe to my YouTube channel.