Transcription
Hey everybody, I give you a chance to get in here. I really hope my microphone is functioning. I'll wait till somebody tells me it's not. I've been using my phone because it's been a better it's had a better audio connection. I can't find it though. I don't know where it is. Um, I looked all over the place. I cannot find it. So hopefully this is going to do the trick. Here it is plugged in. Yeah, everything looks good from my end. So I'll hold it really up to my to my face.
So, I wanted to start a series that really focuses on the topic of soul ties, twin flames, karmic relationships because it is such a profound experience when we go through the journey of the divine feminine and sometimes the divine masculine. Divine masculine also completes that journey but not always. and understand the differences between karmic relationships, divine relationships, which always start out as karmic relationships, and how to understand the dynamics that we can experience in relationships that um are playgrounds for healing. These are karmic relationships. Karmic relationships are where we're working something out. We are experiencing consequences of a a lack of self-awareness. And they can be very painful.
So, one of the hallmarks of a karmic relationship is ambivalence. And over the years, I've seen people struggling with this that do have some particular aspects in common. But you can arrive at the problem of ambivalence through myriad ways. the addition that we can do the the way that um we can arrive at an extreme condition or situation that can add up differently depending on the signs and the planets that you're looking at but often the sum is going to be the same the outcome. So we can arrive at a certain outcome or condition you know through different you know ways but uh excuse me, I do love sneezing. I do. I get so excited when I feel it coming on because it's like a face orgasm. So having that problem of ambivalence in our relationship is very symptomatic of confusion. Ambivalence and confusion are typically bedfellows because with ambivalence we're unsure and we can have a lot of ideas in our head about should I stay or should I go and going back and forth and back and forth and struggling with a part of us that wants progress or freedom or sovereignty in the part of us that's afraid or the part of part part of us that's unprepared. The part of us is still wrestling with dependency because ambivalence, codependency, confusion, they tend to travel together. This is something I can help you with. By the way, I do have my schedule open right now. This is not an uncommon problem for people that are in plutonic relationships or in very Neptunian relationships because those are really confusion and and ambivalence zones that's made for confusion. or those present the the conditions under which we will wrestle with confusion.
Also the hallmark of a trauma bond is the question. Should I stay or should I go? Do I want this or do I don't want this and that persistent confusion, lack of clarity going back and forth. It allows us a little bit of room to move and to grow, but not enough where we can destabilize completely or move away from or end completely a unhealthy situation or a confining situation. So what I have found is that people that have moon Venus contacts particularly to Saturn to Neptune and sometimes to Uranus. These are usually the culprits when it comes to being torn. Being ready in one respect, excuse me, [snorts] and not being ready in another. And the confusion that we deal with is in service to the parts of us that are not prepared or ready to do what we have to do in order to be free of that situation and be able to survive it. So I found that over the course of time it's very very frequent and for people that have inner planet contacts particularly moon or Venus to Saturn or to Neptune or to Uranus to exist in that state of question or confusion or one foot in one foot out for a long long long period of time, often a long period of time before they've gotten their seal legs under them in terms of how are they going to make up for or fill in for what the relationship is providing? How are we going to support oursel? How are we going to deal with our own emotional regulation? How are we going to deal with the realities of aging? How are we going to deal with finances if we're not prepared to handle the weight of those things. Many many times we will not allow ourself to know the answer to the question should I stay or should I go and because if we do achieve clarity we're going to have to act on that answer and we're not ready. So until we do what it takes to get the foundation under us and to prepare to get ourselves where we need to be in terms of faculties and abilities to make that leap to to make that change. We're going to keep asking, should I stay or should I go? And we can ask everybody. We're going to ask a lot of people when we're in this situation because we're usually dealing with some pretty codependence, pretty heavy codependency if we are existing in that place of confusion and of ambivalence. And so we will depend on external uh sources advice which can be very good can be very very good to help to orient us. But what we're really looking for is for somebody to be able to say some magic words that will clear the air and make it possible for us at that moment to see things and then make that choice and make that leap when we're actually not prepared to hear the answer. We're not prepared to take the advice. And that's why it's always lacking or it's really good advice, but we'll find something wrong with it or I can't do that or there's there's ways that we won't ever be satisfied with who we're consulting or what we're hearing because we're not ready to hear it. And there's nobody that can tell us something that erases all of the problems or relieves the problems to the point that we can instantly take that advice or make that leap. There's something lacking in us if we're existing in that place of confusion and ambivalence. When it comes to the strength to manage all of the moving parts and everything that was being taken care of and covered or uh in in motion in play in that situation or relationship. So, we have to develop the muscle and the abilities and recognize where we're lacking in in character and particularly in emotional management and emotional maturity. There is no advice that you will get where there will not be I that will eliminate no advice that you can get that will eliminate some really sucky potentials because in when we're in that situation ambivalence and confusion. Usually there is no good or easy answer. All the options suck because if there was one that was clean, easy, and clearly the better option, we would have taken that or we would allow oursel to see that. But in in situations where we can't find an answer, it's usually because all of the answers, all of the outcomes are going to suck. And when we're in that situation, we have to pick the one that sucks the least or the one that well sometimes we just we do a coin toss. So we we pick one because one has to be picked and we pick the one that we think is going to suck the least. That's a starting point. That's the one you start to work towards. Because very, very much of the time when we're stuck in codependency, we are waiting for some better situation or for a fairy godmother situation. And it's not going to arrive. We are going to be the one that digs oursel out. And so we have to get down to the business. If we want to know the answer, should I stay or should I go? What's best for me? We have to get down to the business of fixing the parts of our personality and our character that are making it hard to take care of oursel or to be alone or to shoulder the total responsibility of making a hard decision. So ambivalence is an issue that typically we have to work on over the course of months. For some people, it it can even take years for this to clear because we have to figure out why you can't know why you don't have clarity. Why the confusion exists? What needs to be done in terms of practical abilities? What needs to be learned before you can understand what should be done before you can allow yourself the information to know the information that will make it necessary for you to act. So, a a bit of and not all of it, but a bit of emotional maturity and resilience has to be developed. We don't have to get to the end. We don't have to be a master of it. We don't have to be finished with that process, but we do have to get far enough along where we can trust oursel. If you're stuck in ambivalence, you can't trust yourself. You're not to the point that your own emotions and your own intuitions, your own experience is enough for you when it comes to proof when it comes to the information. Then oftentimes we're disconnected from our emotions and from our feelings and our own intuition when we are struggling with confusion and ambivalence. And that could be the number one thing. The first step is starting to consult your own feelings, starting to notice your own emotions, starting to trust them, starting to use those as a legitimate reference point and legitimate information. They're not wrong. So we start the process of leaving proverbial proverbally what is I don't think that's the right word um we leave home and for some of us it may be late in life and that leaving home experience that could be in a relationship or a marriage it could be in a job it could be in a situation where we're super super comfortable there. It's meeting a lot of our needs, but it's something on another level we know that we need to leave or grow past or leave behind. And so the very first step is starting to recognize, respect and consult our feelings and to develop some trust in our own knowing and in our own judgment. Then that next step is to look at where do you need to practically get some skills or some abilities or develop some strength in terms of filling in practically the gaps that are going to form when you decide to grow or leave a situation.
So, we have a couple of comments here. Let me take these. This is something I'm going to pop in every day here for a a while and connect with you guys about this particular topic here. Uh, tomorrow I'm not sure exactly what we'll focus on, but today I felt very impressed to talk about ambivalence. Hey, Mina. Uh, blue lotus. My husband and I have an exact nodal opposition. What does this mean to you in sinry? Uh, so we have to be about uh what 19 years apart. I'm thinking that the in inverse conjunction is what it sounds like you're describing um nine years apart. Sorry, 19 or or nine. So there's a um shared wisdom that's there where one of us is going, the other one already is equipped with a lot of those lessons. This is a great thing to have in a lot of relationships. It's not so much related to what we were talking about before. This can actually help us to cure ambivalence. A connection like this because what we need what we lack the north node person I'm sorry the south node person is very much trained and um steeped in that so they help us to develop our dharma they encourage us through what they've already been through to embrace our own dharmic process of becoming. So that's a very very good opposition to have for most people and it feels very familiar very familiar like we've been here before because that's what the nodes are all about. Rinse, eat, rinse, wash and repeat. Uh Sarah, you have Venus in conjunct Neptune. Ambivalence has been the status quo. Yes, I can see with such a sensitive placement that would be something that you would wrestle with. Um, we are experiencing a weakness of boundaries with those heart aspects between Venus and Neptune and that in conjunction can be very difficult to wake up from. Because we tend to try to build our security that Venus require is is about through giving, through sacrificing, through our sweetness, through our compassion. And we don't want to see the worst of life or the worst in people. So when we come to have to make those really difficult decisions, we don't want to see all of the difficult fallout and everything that's to come. And so that's why we can exist in a state of ambivalence, one foot in and one foot out. We may never know if it's good for us, if it's not good for us. And if we have to ask if it's good for us, it's not. If we have to wonder if it's life affirming, it either needs work or it's not. Because we don't have this kind of problem in healthy relationships or relationships that are based in compassionate, not attachment. We don't have ambivalence. We don't have a thick confounding confusion. If confusion comes up, it's very, very quickly, dealt with, and dispelled. So, it's um something to keep in mind that if you can't get an answer, you need to go deeper and find out what is it within you that is not prepared to handle the answer. Deal with that first. It can be a boundary problem. It can be a support problem. can be a dependency problem, some kind of dependency problem in some form. And once we we've we become more solid, we become more able, we become more fit to take up the weight of what that confusing situation was taking on for us. life can become so much easier where before existing in that situation of confusion confusion or ambivalence there's something in us that does believe that that is the easier way out but that is a very youthful immature aspect of oursel that is holding us back and wanting to exist in a situation where we do not have to develop some uh characteristics or balancing traits that bring us into a more mature, secure life.
Hey Joelle, I've been dealing with the guy I've been dealing with has a Venus square Pluto squaring. Wait, has a square with Pluto squaring Venus and Saturn. My Saturn is conjunct Saturn. I keep hoping he'll grow, but it's so painful. Um, yeah, it sounds like he's closed off if that's what you're dealing with with those particular squares. We can be very unavailable, very hedged off, very insular, very careful. And that's very hard to have a relationship with someone that is untouchable or un uh that is defensive, that's still working through some trust issues. It could be very very hard to feel like you are, you know, participating in a a real relationship when you're being edged out or seen as the enemy. Um, you know, somebody's not participating with you in mutual intimacy. That is a hallmark of a karmic relationship. somebody's working something out within themselves and using the relationship to, you know, as the vehicle to do that. We don't do that in relationships that are based in compassionate non-attachment. We don't bring any of that in. All of that is worked through and healed. So, when we come together, we do not get the dramatic plutonic ups and downs. We don't get the suffering and we don't get the hoping and the waiting for the other person to catch up or get it or change because that is is something that can that can really factor into those questions of should I stay or should I go and because we can be waiting for things to get better for the other person to improve when it's us that needs to be addressing our own weaknesses. It can allow us to persist in a situation where we're getting less than we deserve. That is not going to be sustainable, in a long-term relationship that is happy for both people. So, I I've said for a long time that when you're in a situation, you you don't know if you should stay or or if you should go or, you know, or what to do. You ask yourself this way given what I know now about the state of the relationship as it exists right now and given my hopes and my dreams for my life and the vision for my life is the relationship as it exists right now going to be a vehicle that is going to be able to get me my hopes and my dreams or to be able to make those hopes and those dreams really come true. That's how we ask oursel. And if the answer's no, the relationship is not a Jupitarian vehicle. It's probably a plutonic trap. And notice how I didn't say we ask ourselves given the potential of the relationship, is it going to be able to bring me my hopes and my dreams for the future? I did not say that because we're not looking at potential. We're looking at peace. And we need to choose peace and health over potential in those situations. That potential may come to be. It rarely is when we are treading water and giving it space. to exist, you know, as it is because we're hoping for better uh happiness his north node conjunct her chiron or Jupiter conjunct his Chiron. So both are fine. Uh Jupiter conjunct Chiron is wonderful. The Jupiter person feeds the Chiron person's um healing uh wholeness. There's like a warm fuzzy like we're in cahoots with each other uh with Jupiter Chiron context. The Jupiter person is very forgiving for the Chiron person's wounds and mess. And um see Jupiter's always comfort and those two together extremely comforting life affirming combination. North node on the other side conjunct Chiron. Fabulous. Um Chiron is actually feeding the north node in this case. The north node consumes. It doesn't really give anything in sinistry. And so the Chiron person is feeding that dharmic purpose through their uh the wisdom that they've been through sometimes their wounding. Um so it's it it's not as fabuloso as a Jupiter Chiron connection, but you there's certainly worse out there. You really want to look at the state of of of someone's Chiron. Is it heavily aspected? That's where they may feel like the north node person is sort of siphoning off what you know healing or wholeness or wisdom they have. But look at everything because it it it can be a very very good thing for most people. But always keep in mind that the north node and sinistry does not give it. It receives it's it's it's it consumes the input. Um I had another donation. I really appreciate that guys. I really appreciate your donations. It means a lot to me. Um Alice, my natal debilitated Venus in Virgo square Pluto in Sagittarius I feel has made me live out the karmic role for people. I regret those I've hurt. I think there's a lot of people that could sympathize with you with those heart aspects from Venus to Pluto. We can often be the source of obsession or be caught in obsessions. Uh we can experience a lot of drama and suffering clinging on um unhealthy attachment. There's a lot to work through with those hard aspects from inner planets to Pluto. There's a lot to work through in terms of what we've inherited, what we were born into, what we learned when it came to coping as a young child. How we figured out Oh, hey FG. I was thinking about you the other day. How we figured out that, you know, manipulation, hiding, control, misuse of power, how that is a tool and it gets us what we want. And then we have to find out through failure, through maturity, that we were wrong. We were doing the best we could with what we had. And we didn't know better. We didn't know better. We use the tools at our disposal because that's what we had. When we know better, we do better. That is how we get rid of the guilt when we have those horrible horrible contacts to Pluto or or to other outer planets. That's that's our repentance. Now that you know better, you do better. That is how we alchemize. That's how we change the world. We become an example. And we don't change by professing something. We change by living out the guilt. You live it out in such a way that it you never go back. You use that guilt as your guideline. That's how we repent when we have those difficult aspects of Pluto. We use the guilt as our guideline. We never want to feel that way again. And if we know a situation or a choice is going to lead to that, that's the guideline. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. I've been there. I paid that price. I understand the consequences of using low vibe. um Bronze Age tools because it does allow us to get away with stuff when we use those basic tools. But our luck runs out eventually. Happiness, you are so welcome. You guys are always here for me too. Ah, Monourhorn, you are describing the familiarity of a north south node contact very karmic. Yes, very very much so. We feel like we've uh met before with those That's a good point, Alice. We may even see ourselves as powerful, but we're really just giving it all away. That is definitely uh what happens when we're wrestling with inappropriate use of power with those difficult aspects to Pluto. We're losing. We think that we're gaining, but we're actually When you look at it with wisdom, we're actually losing. Um, Anthony, how about a double whammy of your vertex conjunct your rising sign, Taurus and one in Libra in the other one? I don't know. I don't know. I can't I don't have the answer to that because the vertex is so unpredictable that that I only use it in hindsight when I want to affirm something or to I guess see the origin of something I will occasionally refer to the vertex. I don't look at it very often, but if it is a thing and it is mutually conjunct each other's ascendant, you could look at it like there is a mutual agreement or contract that is being I has accessed or fulfilled by relationship with the other person. Physical relationship with the other person. Uh Helus, in my last relationship, we had a Pluto square to a Mars conjunct Saturn composite. Never doing that again. That's a lot. That is a lot. Wow. Yeah. Just Mars square of Pluto is enough to show that we're both learning about the strength of our will, the strength of our desire, the strength of our power, and the strength of forcibly trying to force the other person to do anything, particularly change or to uh modify how they use their power and their force. So, we get into a real issue of both of us being as equally stubborn and nonwilling to give and wanting the other person to give up first when we have that kind of karmic clash. That's one of the worst aspects to deal with in a composite chart is the square, the opposition between Mars and Pluto. uh or sun in Pluto. Either one of those can breed an enormous amount of resentment in a relationship. Uh naturally niece, do out of sign conjunctions count like two to three degrees? No, not in how I look at things. You will get a different answer from a different astrologer. There's no consensus on that. I only look at out of sign conjunctions as being a thing if one plan is at 29 degrees and the other one is at 0 degrees and then it's an awkward conjunction. I call it an inongjunct conjunction. So, no, I don't see it at three degrees. It won't be a conjunction because they're definitively in different signs.
All right, guys. I'm going to wrap up. So, I will be back tomorrow, probably at about the same time. I will make an announcement. So, you have a little bit of time and we will focus on a different uh aspect or topic of the very rich and uh nuanced subject of karmic relationships. All right. It was good to see you all. I really appreciate you guys. Oh, I'm going over to my I forgot to say I'm going over to the membership channel right now to take uh questions from members and to just have a little bit more intimate conversation. So, if you guys are members of my channel, catch me over there right now. If you're not a member, grab a membership. That's the best way to support my channel. And I will see the rest of you tomorrow.