Transcription
So, the average guy on Tinder swipes right 40 times only to get one match. And 52% of men get less than a single match per day. And 13% get less than one match per week.
Now, what I've discovered through working with hundreds of clients is pretty shocking. And that is the algorithm is systematically hiding average guys. But there is a three-step framework you can use to outsmart it. For example, my client went from zero dates in 6 months despite getting regular matches to dating three different women in his first week after implementing this exact system I'm about to show you. So, grab your notebook because I'm going to break down the entire process step by step and give you specific templates you can start using immediately.
All right, guys. Let's talk about the brutal reality it is for average men on these dating app platforms. All right, so for one, 52% of men get less than one match a day. All right. So, imagine getting on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, all these platforms. You're swiping. You're doing your best, but you still get no results. This is the literal equivalent to approaching 20 women on the street and maybe getting like one phone number. All right? So, it's a low ROI and that's why it's so frustrating.
But also, we got to keep in mind that mostly men are on these dating app platforms. I'm talking nearly 80% of men. Some women are obviously on it, and it depends on the scale. So, for example, Tinder actually has the widest user base. And so, if they have millions of people on it, you know, 20% still isn't, you know, that small, but based on comparison to men, you know, you're just in a vast competition and you're competing against guys who have, you know, better looks, uh, more finances, more resources, better pictures, higher quality images, all this stuff, right? And that's one thing guys don't even understand with the dating marketplace overall is that it is a marketplace and that it does have bidters and that you are in constant competition. No matter where you meet a woman or no matter what dating strategy you do, you are always in competition. But with online dating, the competition is more so put in your face because of the vast difference between men and women. You know, if I was to create a dating app platform myself, I would actually have a cap on how many men can join. That way, I can try to create better ratios.
And then also, most matches actually just lead nowhere. So, you're getting less than one match a day. And the few women who you do talk to, they end up ghosting, they end up flaking, you can't set a date. This is usually through a skill issue. But we got to keep in mind for the women's reality of online dating is from the fact that they are bombarded with so many options. Imagine having the option to go out on five dates a week every single week. What are you going to optimize for? You're going to optimize for the person who has the best experience or the one that you're simply most attracted to. As simple as that. So, with that being said, that's why a lot of matches don't go anywhere.
Now, a lot of guys really get confused on what the aim should be, especially if you're an average guy watching this. Should I be getting a 100 matches per week? Should I be getting, you know, one date setup per week? And here's what I personally found across working with plenty of clients and seeing guys go from average to top 10%. Is that we actually want to aim for 20 to 50 matches per week. This can be per dating app platform or across all dating apps. Kind of works the same way. So once you're at that 20 to 50 matches per week, this puts you in a more of a state of abundance in which it will be a lot easier for you just simply due to the law of averages to set up dates and to actually find women who you're attracted to.
Now, right here, I have what's called the match to date conversion. And so this number represents how many of our matches are actually converting to dates. Simple math, matches divided by dates. The reason why this number is so important is because I still find that there are some guys who solve the matches problem, but they still can't set up dates. So, imagine that you're getting, let's say, 50 matches per week, and you're still only able to set up one date per week out of all those 50 matches. That's still pretty bad, right? So, what we need to do is aim for a 5 to 10% master date ratio. Anything above 10% is amazing. You are an expert at setting dates. But anything less than 5% or 4% is where you know we actually need to likely work on the conversational aspect or what I call the middle of funnel sort of skill set. All right. So 5 to 10% is what we need to aim for alongside with 25 to 50 matches per week across all platforms. And this will separate you from the average men and thus put you more so in the top 10%.
Now there are some variables here and which are a bit out of your control but at the same time we we need to optimize if we want to actually solve the Tinder algorithm and position ourselves as a top 10% guy. So the first variable is definitely going to be your city where you live. If you're in a small town uh if you're in the suburbs or the outskirts of a city then your results will likely reflect that just due to once again numbers. Um, so we found that personally whenever you're in a big metro area or at the least you can move your location to the nearest biggest city that in itself can help and solve a lot of problems in terms of the amount of matches you're getting alongside with the women who you have access to. All right, so do keep in mind city plays a major role into this.
Also, of course, your looks. Now, there are some dating app platforms that really try to optimize based on personality more so than looks. But honestly, at the end of the day, attraction is instinctual and in nowadays society, especially on online, is going to be more so based on the physical appeal, the physical attraction, at least initially. All right? So, you don't have to be the most handsome guy. You just have to match her minimum looks threshold. Essentially, she cannot look at you and disqualify you. And so guys don't realize that you can get disqualified based on a lot of different factors outside of your looks. I'm talking about your style, the type of shoes you're wearing, um your facial expressions, your surrounding environment, who you're with, who you're posting pictures with. Like all these things can play into the first impression and the first uh perception that a woman has for you that can essentially disqualify you even though you reach her minimum look threshold or you're even a handsome very attractive guy.
Now, I want you to go into the mindset of your own swiping habits. Whenever you do swipe, right? Whenever you swipe, you're probably doing the same thing. You see a woman who you've, you know, think is attractive, you swipe right, there's something that's off about her or you think she might be a catfish or whatever, you're going to swipe left, right? So, you're also going based on a physical attraction. Now, the thing about women is that there are actually a lot more attraction triggers, more so than just physical attraction. However, within the online context, it's very very hard to showcase those mechanisms, you know. So, with that being said, we need everything working in our favor in terms of looks in order to help us not get disqualified based on this. And uh other things are variables too like our our race for example, like the woman might have a racial preference, whatever. That's cool. Everybody does. But we don't want to get disqualified based on our looks.
Now, also we have age. Now, I've worked with guys in the 40s and their 50s, even in their 60s before, believe it or not. Yes, I have. Uh, but most of the guys I work with are usually like in their 30s. And so, age usually won't be a big disqualifier here. But if you are trying to go for like the 20-year-old, 21y old, 22 year old, just do understand that the way these apps really work is that they're not necessarily going to show men above 10 years to them. They're usually going to commit at a range between two to six years on average. So if you're 32, you're mostly going to see women who are in the ages between 25 to like 34. If you're 40, you're mostly going to see women maybe like 30 to 42. So usually within a 12 year range. Um, if that was a good change, then they would have to change their settings on their own accord. And honestly, this is a red flag in itself because it's like, why are you changing your location to meet with older men? Sounds like a sugar baby to me. Um, so yeah.
Also, algorithms. Now, this video is titled solving the algorithm as an average guy, but most guys really don't even understand dating app algorithms. And it's very simple. Uh, you might have heard it called the ELO score. But each app kind of has a different algorithm at play. But to keep it really simple for you, all it really is is a profile score. And that score is based on how many people who have liked you versus how many people you have liked versus who have liked you back. And so if they shown your profile to 200 women and only two of them have swiped right, then your profile ranking is going to go down and they're going to start showing you to women who've also have low rankings. This is mostly Hinge, by the way. Tinder, uh, they're not that advanced. They're mostly just going to give you a rating based on the likes you are getting. And so, long story short, to solve the algorithm issue, we just have to get more likes. The more women who like our profile, the higher we get ranked up. And this is based on some of the variables in which we're going to go over next, which is simply profile optimization.
Now, outside of the variables and after understanding the brutal reality of what it's like to be an average guy online, what I find is that most average guys just don't try. Don't try. Could be due to limiting beliefs, could be because of lack of effort, but it's usually a knowledge gap. They just don't know what they don't know for that. They position themselves sometimes below average even though they're, you know, average. Like they they actually present themselves as a three or four out of 10 even though they're a five or six out of 10. And so first we have to understand what I call the pillars of presentation. So we got our pictures, prompts, and bio. Those are going to be the main three. Pictures being the most important with prompts being the second most important and bio being not that important, but it could disqualify you depending on how you go about it. So, most average guys, they approach the bio like an autobiography, showing telling exactly what they want, telling too much about themselves, and thus killing the mystery. You see the average guys or you guys watching this, you do you don't understand female nature and female psychology. Women are actually attracted to men in which their attentions are more so unclear and they have a bit of mystery and intrigue to them. And so you revealing too much about yourself on your bio is actually killing that. And even though the woman could be attracted to you, you know, it doesn't position you in a way in which it showcases more of that intrigue.
Now, with the prompts, prompts are essentially just a way and a tool that we get women to message us first by sparking positive emotion. Prompts are mainly going to be used on Bumble and Hinge, with Hinge being the most important. Tinder prompts aren't really that great, nor have I really seen them being used often. So, we're going to ignore that for Tinder for now. But do understand that bio and prompts are ways in which we get women more intrigued within to us after they have seen our pictures.
Now, I always say that making your pictures and just creating a profile in itself is like running an ad for your business except for you're the product, running an ad towards your target demographic, aka women, which are your customers. And so, if you know the type of women you want, then ideally we would craft that image and that ad and that product to match what that consumer wants. But if you don't know what you want or if you have a wide range, guess what? We should craft something what I call here universal appeal. When I say universal appeal, all that simply means is appealing to the widest demographic possible and casting the widest net out. Because my mindset is that dating is like fishing. Dating is not like hunting. We're not going to grab a rifle, go out there, and try to chase down something that's running away from us. No. What we're going to do is that we're going to build an attractive bait. That bait is us. have a bait that can catch trout, catfish, bass, uh it can catch turtles, it can catch crab, it can literally catch anything. And then we cast a net out and then the fishes are going to come in and bite the bait and boom, we see what we got. But we need to do that through crafting universal appeal.
Now, think about the opposite here. Not having universal appeal is essentially niching yourself down or going too much into one distinct archetype. Some archetypes might include like that of uh the country guy or um you're like super super outdoorsy. You showing like all your hobbies and things like that or even um leaning too much into hobbies for example like rock climbing or weightlifting. You know a lot of guys think that weightlifting and all that stuff is crafting a universal appeal image but it's no it's not the case. Universal appeal is simply crafting an image in which majority of women will find attractive. You can do this through your style, through how you're presenting yourself, and also through the other mechanisms like your bio and the prompts that we talked about.
Now, up next, we need curated and professional presentation appealing to the female gaze. All the female gaze means is what women find attractive. Going back into that weightlifting example, most guys, especially average guys, are posting things that they think is attractive and that men find attractive. We're not trying to attract men here. We want women. So, we need to understand that what women find attractive and it's it's a little nuance, right? But anything that is overly masculineized and/or too hobbyist that majority of men go to, going back to the rock climbing example or like weightlifting or even like archery or hunting. Hunting is a great one. Fishing. All these things do not oppose the female gaze. In fact, they make you less attractive.
Now curated professional presentation. Ideally we would do this through hiring a competent photographer. Somebody who understands what women find attractive and somebody who can basically craft our best image into a high high quality photo. Most guys will think, "Oh, am I trying too hard? Shouldn't I put lower effort into my pictures and profile? Wouldn't that get the best results?" No. Like this mindset makes no sense to me. If you're not getting the results that you want now with loweffort pictures, then why wouldn't we do the opposite and do high quality pictures, things that make us stand out? Oh, because we're trying too hard or because, you know, it doesn't look natural. No, we can still make things look natural and low effort. That's more so about the nuances of how we pose, um, how we're dressed, and other things like that. Just because a picture is high quality doesn't mean that you're going to get disqualified based on effort. In fact, it means that you're positioning yourself as the top 10%. As simple as that. And if you're not super attractive, if you don't have things like that going for yourself, then you need the created and professional presentation that hits a female gaze in or in order to position yourself as that above average guy.
Now, after we get the pictures done, I would say retouching is definitely something that is overlooked and that most guys don't do. Most guys are taking the raw images straight out the camera, not enhancing any colors or making themselves look better by any degree. But we got to keep in mind what women are doing. What are women doing? Women are taking hundreds of pictures. Women are wearing makeup. Women are putting filters on and editing their pictures. That is exactly why sometimes you might see a woman's Instagram or her pictures and you see her in person and they look like two different people because they understand the beauty of retouching. Now, what we're not going to do is retouch to look like a catfish. But instead, we're going to do is retouch to look like our most photogenic selves. So, the reason why you're looking like an average guy now is because you're not doing this. But once you do this, we can essentially get a point above what we look like, thus making us six, seven out of 10, above average. Now, some apps I like to do do this with is face app. I think face app is the easiest and also facetune. So, face app allows you to artificially just press a button with a preset. It's going to retouch you. It looks natural. Uh, you can go overboard with it. Definitely don't do that. But doing this is just going to make everything turn out so so much better.
Now alongside with the profile optimization is that we actually don't want to only use Tinder. I know I discussed that you know this is the Tinder algorithm but across what I found with most my clients is that Tinder actually gets the worst results. Even for myself, like if I have to see my stats based on where I'm getting matches and where I'm actually going out on dates, Tinder just tends to be the worst. But the beauty about the global dating marketplace is that we have more than one option. Now, Tinder is the most popular, but there's Hinge, there's Bumble, there's Facebook Dating, there's Plenty of Fish, there's Match.com, there's BLK, there's Chispa. What else? There's so many dating app platforms, right? Um, outside the big three, Tinder Bumble Hinge, I recommend, especially if you're older watching this, that you try Facebook dating. Facebook dating is a platform in which we also see pretty good results, especially if you're above the age of 35 years old. All right, so don't only use Tinder. We're going to learn the pillars of presentation, craft a a universal appeal, and then of course have a curated and professional image and presentation.
All right. So now, let's say you went from getting less than one match a day or one match a day to now you're getting five to 10 matches a week just off that alone. So the next important part is texting. And with texting, I use a system called funneling. And funneling is something that I've learned in my own dating life because I was frustrated with getting matches but not going anywhere. It wasn't until I actually implemented what I call the dating funnel to where I started seeing a lot more results. And so, what do most average guys do? Most average guys are going to set the date on the app. Either that or they're talking way too much on the app itself, engaging in conversation for two to three days and then it dies off. It goes nowhere. So, with the dating funnel, here's what we're going to do. We're going to start off with app, go to Instagram, then go to number, and then we go to the inerson date. So once again, dating app, Instagram, number, imperson date. So it's a fourpart sequence, and it's very intentional why as why we're doing this. And the first reason is is you'll notice that if you're only setting dates on the app, women basically usually have comfort objections. They might agree to it in that moment, but they're usually going to flake right before the date happens, or they're going to get cold feet and just have too much anxiety because you're still just a random guy on a dating app. So, we move them to the IG after about five or so messages so that we can showcase different attraction triggers to more so build comfort and a sense of familiarity so that they're more inclined to actually go out on the date with us. So yes, this means that we have to have a pretty decent IG with pictures that showcase ourselves in different context, maybe a few stories here or there to where she can see that you're actually a real person, not a catfish and not a serial killer. That's what they're most afraid of. And so in the IG DMs, you know, we build a little bit more comfort. We might send a voice note or two and then that's when we do the soft close meaning that we basically ask them out on a date but without being direct about it. So a soft close is more so making the invitation. Hey, this is going well. Let's meet up and talk more soon. You're not going to ask for her availability. You're not going to ask her when she's free. You're not going to set a hard day or hard location. You're simply just going to offer the handout. And then from there, when she says yes or that sounds nice, what do you have in mind? That's when we go for the hard close. The hard close is simply the direct invitation. We can go do this at this location on this date at this time. As simple as that. And then once she agrees, we go for the number and then we do the follow-up uh day of the date once we have her number and then we meet up in person. So, this is a dating funnel and this allows women to really see you as a human being, thus building more comfort and also weeding out time wasters. Cuz you'll find that with dating apps especially, you know, some women are on there purely for validation reasons. And we don't want women just wasting our time, right? So, we actually want to go out on dates. So, just a reminder for you, never set dates on the app itself. Instead, use a funneling system that showcases more comfort, other attraction triggers, and a sense of familiarity. That way, she doesn't flake on you and that you can actually get her out on a date.
And then, worse comes to worse, if you're forgetting how to do all this, just do it based in multiples of five. And so, you're going to set a 15 message rule. Five messages on the dating app, five messages on IG, and then five messages on text. And the date should be set. 15 message rule. Some conversations sometimes will go longer, some will go shorter depending on her interest levels. There's a bit of nuance there, but for the most part, if you stick to a 15 message rule, you'll find that setting dates actually become easier and that you're actually keeping yourself accountable and not letting conversations run too long. Because that's another thing, like I said before, is that guys just let the conversation run on for way, way, way too long. And for that reason, they just don't get the results they want. And so this is how you win the center algorithm as an average guy. There's a lot more steps and nuances to this. And of course, you can try to do all this by yourself. But if you want me to personally hold your hand and help you with all these processes in terms of identifying where your weak points are, helping you craft an attractive image by make yourself more attractive, getting those photos done, hand selecting the best pictures for you, bing helping you build out your profile alongside with teaching you our messaging strategy and even building out your Instagram so that you can actually leverage that a part of the dating front process. Then I encourage you to schedule a free consultation call with us. That way we can see how we can personally help you. And this will all be done within a 12-week time frame. All right, so I'll leave a link down below.