Transcription
May 13, 1930. The weight of the privation of Jesus. I continue in the same state, and maybe even worse. Though I do as much as I can to remain peaceful without getting disturbed, because so obedience wants, but in spite of this, I do not cease to feel the weight of the abandonment that presses upon me and reaches the point of crushing me. Oh God, what state is this? Tell me at least where have I offended you? What is the cause of it? How, Lord, if you want to continue this way, I think I will not be able to endure anymore.
Then He made Himself seen for just a little, and placing a hand under my chin, in the act of compassion, aiding me, told me, "Poor daughter, how do you have reduced yourself?" And sharing His pains with me, He disappeared like lightning, leaving me more afflicted than before, as if He had not come. Or rather, I feel as if He had not come for a long time, and I feel such affliction that though I live, my living is a continuous agonizing. Oh Lord, lend me help and do not leave me in abandonment, though I deserve it.
May 13, 1924. Vol. 16. True adoration consists of the accord of the human will with a divine. The true model of adoration is the Most Holy Trinity. The Divine Will connects everything in unity. I was doing my usual prayers, and while I was abandoning all of myself in the arms of the Supreme Will, in it I intended to do my adorations to the Divine Majesty. And my Jesus, moving in my interior, took my poor soul in His arms, and raising it between heaven and earth, adored with me the Supreme Being. And then He said to me, "My daughter, true and perfect adoration is in the complete accord of the union of the Will of God with the soul. The more the soul makes her will and that of her Creator one, the more complete and perfect is her adoration. And if the human will is not done with the divine, even more if it is far away from God, it cannot be called adoration, but shadow or colorless shade, which leaves not even a trace. And if the human will is not disposed to receive the kiss of the union of the Supreme Will, instead of adoration, it can be insult and contempt. The first act of adoration is to recognize the will of her Creator in order to do it. If this is not there, she adores with words, but in fact, she insults and offends. And if you want to know the true and perfect model of adoration, come with me."
In the midst of the three Divine Persons, I don't know how, but Jesus held me more tightly and raised me higher into the midst of an unending light. I felt annihilated, but my annihilation was replaced by a divine life, which unleashed from itself many different colors of beauty, of sanctity, of light, of goodness, of peace, of love, and so forth, in such a way that my nothingness was transformed by those divine colors to the extent of no longer being recognized, and of enamored the very one who had so much embellished me.
And my sweet Jesus continued, "Do you see, my daughter, the prime act of the Divine Persons is the perfect accord of our Will. Our Will is so unified that one cannot distinguish the Will of one from that of the other, so much so that even though our Persons are distinct, we are three, our Will is one. And this one Will produces a continuous act of perfect adoration among the Divine Persons. One adores the others. This accorded Will produces equality of sanctity, of light, of goodness, of beauty, of power, of love, and establishes in us the true reign of order and of peace, giving us immense joys and happinesses and infinite Beatitudes. Therefore, the accord of the human will with the divine is the first link of connection between Creator and creature, and from it the divine virtues descend into her as within a channel, producing in her true adoration and perfect love for her Creator. And rising from within that same channel of connection, she receives the different shades of the divine qualities. And every time the soul rises in order to dive into this eternal Well, she's embellished by and acquires as many more varieties of divine beauty. This is why I say that the soul who does My Will is My amusement and My contentment. And in order to amuse Myself, I keep the brush of My Will in My hands, and as she dives into My Will, they touch her up, and I am used Myself by impressing on her with My touch one more shade of My beauty, of My love, of My sanctity, and of all My qualities. So for Me, being in her is like being in heaven. I find the same adoration of the Divine Persons, My Will, My love. And since there is always something to give to the creature, I act now as a skillful painter, portraying My image in her, now as a master, teaching her the most high and sublime doctrines, now as a passionate lover, giving and wanting love. In sum, I use and perform all My arts to amuse Myself with her. And when My love, offended by the creatures, cannot find a place in which to take refuge, a place in which to escape from those who follow Me to give Me death or force Me to turn back to the vault of the heavens, I take refuge in the soul who contains My Will within herself, and there I find My power to defend Me, My love loving Me, My peace to give Me rest. I find everything I want. Therefore, My Will connects everything together, having on earth all goods, and it makes them one, and from this alone all possible imaginable goods are unleashed. So I can say that the soul who does My Will is everything for Me, and that I am everything for her."
Then my adorable Jesus would through into the depth of my heart and He disappeared. I remained comforted, yes, strengthened, but pray to the sorrow of having remained without Him and of having said to Him not even a word about my heart's state. Huh? Yes, when one is with Jesus, the soul flatters herself that she will possess Him forever, and she feels the need for nothing. All troubles disappear, and with Jesus all goods enter the field. But as He withdraws, the troubles come back, and the pain of His privation sharpens its edge even more, which ripping her poor heart open without pity, renders her pain ever new and more intense.
In the meantime, my Jesus appeared again and told me that He had His heart all wounded as by a thousand pricks. And then He said to me, "My daughter, you too made these wounds to My heart. As you called Me, you wounded Me. As you remembered that you were deprived of Me, you repeated the wounds. And as you suffered because of My privation, you added more wounds." Hearing this, I said, "My Love, if you knew how my heart bleeds because of You, and how wounded and embittered I feel because of Your privation to the point that I cannot take it anymore. So I feel it more wounded than You do." And Jesus, "Let us see then, who has more wounds, whether you or I." So Jesus visited the interior of my soul, and then He made a comparison between me and Himself to see who had more wounds, whether I or Jesus. To my surprise, I saw that Jesus had more wounds than I did, although I had enough. And Jesus continued, "Have you seen that I am more wounded than you? However, know that there are true voids of love because of My privation, but do not fear, for I will take the commitment to filling them. Since I know that you cannot do what you do when you are together with Me, so since it is not your will to form these voids of love, your Jesus will take care of filling them. One flight I make you do in My Will will be enough to place us in accord in love, in such a way that overflowing outside this love will flow for the good of our brothers. Therefore, let Me do and trust Me."
May 13, 1926. Volumes. In the fulfillment of one's duty, there is sanctity. Image of one who operates for human purposes and of one who operates to do the Divine Will. How our Lord is the heartbeat of all creation. I was doing my usual adoration to my crucified Jesus, and while praying, I felt my sweet Jesus near me, throwing His arm around my neck. He clasped me tightly to Himself, and at the same time, He made me see my late confessor. I seemed to see him pensive, all recollected, but without saying anything to me. My Jesus looked at him and told me, "My daughter, your confessor has found great things before Me because when he would undertake an office, a commitment, he would neglect nothing so as to fulfill that office exactly. He was most attentive. He would make great sacrifices, and if necessary, he would even dispose himself to lay down his own life so that his office might be fulfilled exactly. He had a fear that if he did not operate as befitted his office in the works entrusted to him, he himself might be an obstacle to the very work entrusted to him. This means that he appreciated and gave the right value to My works, and his attentiveness attracted the grace which was needed for the fulfillment of his office. This may not appear to be such a great thing, but rather, it is everything. In fact, when one is called to an office and fulfills the duties pertaining to that office, it means that he does it for God, and in the fulfillment of one's duty, there is sanctity. So he came before Me with the fulfillment of his own duties which had been entrusted to him. How could I not reward him as he deserved?"
Now, while Jesus was saying this, the confessor seemed to become more engrossed in more profound recollection, and the light of Jesus was reflected on his face, but he did not say even one word to me. Then Jesus resumed His speaking, "My daughter, when an individual occupies an office and makes a mistake or is not attentive to the duties which his office demands, he may cause great troubles. Imagine one who has the office of judge, of king, of minister, or of mayor. If he makes a mistake or is not attentive to his own duties, he may cause the ruin of families, of towns, and even of entire kingdoms. If that mistake, if that lack of attention came from a private individual who does not occupy that given office, it would not cause so much trouble."
[Music] Therefore, faults in high offices weigh more heavily and cause graver consequences. So when I call a confessor to give him an office, and in this office I entrust to him a work of Mine, if I do not see attention and the fulfillment of his duties pertaining to that office, I give him neither the necessary grace nor enough light to make him comprehend all the importance of My work, nor can I trust him because I see that he does not appreciate the work entrusted to him by Me. My daughter, if one carries out his office exactly, it means that he does it to fulfill My Will, but if one does otherwise, it means that he does it for human purposes. And if you knew the difference between the two!"
In the meantime, I saw two people before me. One of them went on picking up rocks, old rags, rusty iron, pieces of clay, all things which are heavy and of very little value. Poor one, he struggled and sweated under the weight of that rubbish, more so since it did not give him the value necessary to satisfy his hunger. The other one went on picking up grains of diamond, little gems, and precious stones, cloth things which are very light but of incalculable value. My sweet Jesus added, "The one who keeps picking up rubbish is the image of one who operates for human purposes. That which is human always carries the weight of matter. The other is the image of one who operates in order to do the Divine Will. What a difference between the two! The grains of diamond are My truths, the knowledge is regarding My Will, which picked up by the soul form as many diamonds for her. Now, if one loses some of that rubbish or does not pick it up, he will cause almost no harm. But if one loses or does not pick up one of these tiny grains of diamond, he will cause great harm because they are of incalculable value and they weigh as much as a God can weigh. And if it is lost because of someone who has the office of picking them up, what account will he not have to give, having caused the loss of a grain of infinite value which could have done who knows how much good to the other creatures?"
After this, my sweet Jesus placed His heart within me and made me feel its heartbeats, saying to me, "My daughter, I am the heartbeat of all creation. If My heartbeat were missing, life would be missing - all created things. Now I love so much one who lives in My Will that I do not know how to be without her, and I want her together with Me to do whatever I do. So you will palpitate together with Me, and among the many prerogatives I will give you, I will give you the prerogative of the heartbeat of all creation. In the heartbeat there is life, motion, heat. So you will be with Me, giving life, motion, and heat to everything." As He was saying this, I felt myself moving and palpitating in all created things. And Jesus added, "One who lives in My Will is inseparable from Me, and I do not know how to be without her company. I do not want to be isolated because company renders the works one undertakes more pleasant, more delightful, more beautiful. Therefore, your company is necessary to Me in order to break My isolation in which the other creatures leave Me."
May 13, 1928. Volume 24. One who lives in the Divine Will has everything in her power. She is the new repeater of the acts of the Virgin, of the Saints, and of Our Lord. I was praying, and I felt I didn't know how to pray or to love or to thank Jesus. So I said to myself, "Oh, I would like to have in my power the love and the prayers of the Sovereign Lady and of all the Saints to be able to love and pray Jesus with her love and with her prayers and with those of the whole of Heaven." And my blessed Jesus, moving in my interior, told me, "My daughter, when the soul lives in My Divine Will, she has everything in her power because My Will is the depository and the preserver of everything that My Mama and all the Saints did. It is enough for her to want it and to want to take what they did. That love runs to her, the prayers invest her, the virtues place themselves in order, waiting for those who have the honor of being called to give her the light of their acts and to form for her their beautiful and refuge and crown. So the Queen of Heaven feels her love and her prayers being repeated. The Saints, their virtues, by the creatures on earth. And oh, how they enjoy seeing their acts being repeated again! There is no greater glory that can be given to the celestial inhabitants than to repeat their love, their prayers, their virtues. And I feel once again as if my Mama were there loving me and praying me. Their echo resounds in you, and as you repeat it, you make your echo resound in Heaven, and all recognize their acts in your acts. Would you not feel honored if someone else repeated your acts and modeled his works on the model of yours? With what love would you not look at him? And if you knew how much I enjoy when I hear you say, 'I want to unite myself with the thoughts of Jesus, with His words, with His works and steps, so as to line up together with His thoughts, with His words, and so forth, over each thought, word, work, and steps of creatures, in order to repeat together for all and for each one what Jesus did with His thoughts, words, and everything else He did.' There is nothing you did that I do not want to do myself so as to repeat the love and all the good that Jesus did. I feel myself present on earth. I feel my acts being repeated by you, and I keep waiting with so much love for the repetition of my acts that I myself become actor and spectator in you to enjoy them and take for myself the glory of my own life. Therefore, the creature who lives and operates in My Will is recognized by all Heaven as bearer of divine joys for the whole of Heaven, and keeping Heaven open, she makes the celestial dew of Graces, of light, of love descend upon earth over all creatures."
End of May 13th. Fiat.