Transcription
Wow, I'm really excited about the conversation we get to have today. I'm excited about the conversation I'm having in the world right about now. I'm excited about the things that I'm asked to do. I'm on this whole journey of abundant life. What does it take to create an abundant life? First off, and Kristi really talked about what are the things that block you from abundance, so she talked about all the things in your past. Now, may I talk about some things to do and create for you? Because I'm a coach, so I'm an action step person, because the antidote to despair is action. The prescription for radical success is action. The difference between you and the person living their dreams that you're watching is simply the amount of action. It's not the hook up; it's not the family they were born into; it's not the gender; it's not the cultures; those are all great stories that we give it, but it really is the things they did and how much they were willing to do it. So I want to talk about that because when you look at my life, my life is someone who did not ask for permission. My life is someone who gave notice. So I just came to find those three of you who are willing to give notice and stop asking for permission. Are you here? Yes. Yes. So I know my tribe; they're all like, "Yes, yes, tell them about that." Yes, yes, Lisa. Okay, we forget that there are people who are just meeting me. How many guys would just meet me for the first time? Yeah. Oh, yummy, put on your seatbelt. Right, so just so those of you just meeting me, last year there were two of me; this year there's less of me to love. So you're like, "That's not the lady I was on YouTube," right? Yes, I am. It's the sexier version. So, so when we talk about um, feeling it in your soul, I want to start with your yes, and I won't do the yes because it's a cliché thing. I don't do it because I need you to do something, Rara. I'm not a motivational speaker; I'm a transformational coach. Let's be very clear: when I show up, I show up for your breakthrough. I show up with the willingness to disrupt everything you know so that you're willing to go find something new. I'm willing, no matter how big you're playing in the world, there's something where you can serve bigger, love bigger, receive bigger, wherever that is for you, and I come, and when I'm in your space, I promise you the divine, God, mother, father, whatever you choose to call it, have placed me in your space for some kind of new level of something. That's just my assignment. I know what my breath is for, and so that's what I'm here for. So when I say, when we talk about yes, yes, it's not just a rah-rah; it literally is to move something in you to say yes, bigger, bolder, and with knees knocking some time and teeth chattering some time, still say yes, and then figure out the house. So when I'm with my girls and I say something they like, they say, "You go, girl," but we're not with all girls. When I'm at church and I say something that they love, they say, "Amen," and sometimes some of y'all just go ahead and do that, but we're not in church. When I say something that resonates with you, I want you to say yes, and then I want the second yes to be louder than the first yes. I want that second yes to make you have to sit up a little bit. I want that second yes to cost you something for yourself. I want it to be just a bit disruptive. Let's try it on the count of three. One, two, three. Only at Awesomeness Fest do they ever hit it on the first time, man. You should see when I'm over at Wells Fargo, I'm a Red Rock, well, I'm at 18, I like, "Yes, yes," I'm like, "Oh, no, no, that won't do it, that won't do it," right? They say yes, just, I said, "No, no, we don't get it," right? I'm like, "Mom, try loosen the tie a little bit so you can feel your throat." So when I say something that you like, that resonates with your soul, I want you to say, when you hear your truth, I want you to say, when it feels good to you, I want you to say, and even when it stings but it's still your truth, I want you to say, even if your neighbor's not saying it, I want you to say, when you leave here and you're at lunch and something feels good to your soul, I want you to say, when you leave Costa Rica, you leave the conference and something feels good to your soul, I want you to say, without anyone at home agreeing with you, I still want you to say, when your friend asks you out to lunch, I want you to say. Now they will think you're weird because you left, when you left home you only said one yes, and you came home, now you're saying two yeses. So I want them to immediately know something changed. Yes, yes, without me, without asking my permission, without waiting for me to pause, without waiting for a politically correct interruption, I still want you to say, without anyone else in the room having to say it with you, be the Lone Ranger, be that, right, right now. The first yes is to you. The reason why the second yes has to be louder is because the second yes is not to you; the second yes to the God's assignment on your life, which is why it has to be louder because it's going to cost you more; it's going to test your level of conviction. That second yes has to be the yes that moves you when you don't want to move, that will have you say the things you don't want to say and do the things you don't want to do so you can be the man, the woman you've always known yourself to be. So the second yes got to kind of shake the lights; they've got to kind of shake the lights, you know what I mean? That second yes has to make anyone in earshot say, "You know they gonna do that," cuz you know the way you could convert people who don't believe in you is you just have enough confidence in you. I had a gentleman, I was in an investor meeting, and I'm telling my dream, and it's like 15 years ago, and I'm like, "I'm transforming lives; I'm gonna start with teens," enough, and he's just sitting there, and I said, "I need to raise capital; I need $50,000 so I can work," amen, and and he said, I was telling the supplies, I'll come by, and he said, "Listen," he said, "My wife and I don't have children, and we decided not to have children, won't even know if we like children," right? "You're doing good; I was your first test; you passed," he said, "But when I look at you and I listen to you, you're so convicted, you're so on fire," he said, "I believe; I don't know how you gonna do all that, but I believe you gonna do it because of your passion," he said, "So I'm gonna invest $25,000 in your company," he said, "But I don't even know if I should call it investment because you're so on fire, I don't even need to see it back." I was like, "Can I get that, right?" Yes, yes, right, yes, right. So so it's about you being so on fire for you. So I want to continue the conversation of what abundant and creating an abundant life looks like because submissions point and thank him so much for acknowledging my company, you know, 15 years ago, 17 years ago, you know, I sat on my couch looking for a way to move past being both bolt broke and broken, and it was easier to be broke. Come on, you guys, I'm gonna hear you. Yes, yeah. I heard some of that. Yes, yes, Connie. You can't whisper it; be okay with your truth. We're gonna make the truth very, very sexy and acceptable for the next hour that I'm all safe. We're gonna make the shoe something that we all want to wear, and when I wear my truth and you wear your truth, we get to choose if we love each other inside that truth. When my job is to wear my truth, your job is the truth. Yes, yes. So here I was sitting on the couch in Inglewood, California, and I was broke because the only from the hood, when they go Inglewood in the house always up to no good, right? Amen. It'll never be out of me, no matter where I go. I'm sitting in my, on my couch, and I'm I'm broke, but more than anything I'm broken, and I'm at a place, and some of you have been there or you there, I'm not sure, but I was at a place where I said, "Wait, I'm too brilliant for this; I ain't quite seen," that's how I said it. Yes, all my brilliant yet, but I know I'm too brilliant for this. This reality doesn't fit my DNA. So the first thing to know is when you're out of congruence with who you're designed to be, that's the first thing. Then there's nothing wrong with that; don't hide it; don't shy from it; just step into that truth. That truth is sexy cuz it'll make you do something you never thought you would do; it'll make you get radical. I sat there with my son, not having food, eating weenies and we need six days a week, right? And like he could, the weenies were cut so smart, the weenies were cut so small, he was like, "Mommy, I can't see the meat." I said, "Baby, it's there; let me just put some extra sugar in it." I was so broke and broken. His father had just gone to prison, and all of a sudden my worst nightmare had come true. I made a commitment, being born and raised in South Central LA, raised between the Bloods, Crips, and the Rollin' 60s, those are not cheerleading squads, rah, that I wouldn't engage on any level; I wasn't available on any level for any gang activity, for anything criminal, because I would never be connected with jail; it's just not my thing. I knew early on that's not my destiny. So when my girlfriends and my best friend started dating the neighborhood thugs, I pass; I'm going to the library; I'm not participating. I don't know where I'll end up, but I know I won't stay here. And so I planned all this; I got out; I was an athlete; I was an All-American athlete; I held the record for the 330-low hurdles for eighteen years after I graduated. My head was down; I was MVP all three years in high school; I was focused; I got out; I got out. Then all of a sudden, the man that I meet at 27, beautiful, so brilliant, so he still had that hustle in him, and I'm not mad about a little hustle, but it came, manager integrity, and for him it just got the best of him, and I got the call. I said, "Hello." He said, "Lisa," I say, "Yes." He said, "I'm in jail," and my heart dropped. I'm 28; I just given birth to his child, and now I'm linked to the very thing I try to avoid for so long. I'm sharing with you my story so you can validate and level-set your story because I look up and I say, "Wow, I'm working on my seventh bestseller; I've had great conversations with Oprah and Larry King and the Today's show, and I built a multi-million dollar business, and my company's gone public," and it doesn't change my story, and yet I realized that I use my story as my fuel, not my fortress, like my story wasn't mine. I get to be successful in spite of my story, was my because of it's because of. And so I remember sitting on my couch going, "Oh my god, my very thing I tried to work, my nightmare is my truth," and for years, eight years, I never mentioned where my son's father was; I denied that he even existed; I wouldn't talk about him. You couldn't talk about Margaret when I said his name; she thought my my son's father was an exchange student from Africa. When I first said his name, she's like, "That's somebody we're gonna donate to or what?" And I said, "No, that's my son's father; I just don't talk about him because I haven't I haven't accepted it yet." And so I I walked around with this baggage on me, this story that if I spoke too loudly though and let my light shine too brightly then the lights gonna shine on him too and everybody's gonna know my connection. Come on, you guys, I just want you to, yours is gonna be different, but we got this chatter, and and picking up where Christie left off, this was just my chatter. I would be remiss if I didn't share my chatter with you before I share with you how to get to an abundant life. I got it; you got to know the depth that I come from. And so on for years I dodged that conversation of my son's father because I was embarrassed of my choices, when in fact I chose an amazing, beautiful, brilliant man who simply made a poor decision. And as I told my son, he's on a long-term timeout; 21 years later, he's still there. That's his journey; that's his journey. He's also an author of seven books published before me, so he chose to make the best of his story as well. He's a better writer, stronger writer than I am; it's just amazing; he's still brilliant. And so I look at that journey and I go, "How did I get from there, broken and broke, to this story that's breathtaking?" I travel 315 days out the year. I prayed to God seventeen years ago, "Lord, I want to run, Mom; I want to travel the world, run my mouth, and autograph anything." I am NOT gonna tell you where I have put a marker nowhere on the backs back. And so I I wanted to just stop by, and I say "stop by" because I'm I'm in four different countries and twelve different cities in 33 days. So I'm just stopping by, but I stop and I stay here as long as I can because I love this space, but I stopped by to stir your soul, to do nothing other than stir your soul. And for some of you, you're going to choose to continue to play; we're going to find ways to learn together; we'll find ways to serve together; we're going to find ways to help you grow together, to help you create an abundant life together, and we'll keep going. For others, this is a moment in time, and this was the very message you were supposed to hear, and your job is to pull out of it what you're supposed to pull out of it and then take action. So I stopped by; I stopped by to push some things in your space so you can choose to adopt it. I stopped by to give you several points, and you may want to write these down. I stopped by to also get to get you to do some things before I leave the stage. I'm going to play with you a lot and move around a lot. I'm going to teach you just a few points from the book that comes out in January. This is that yes; this is the Scott Abundance Now, and in Abundance Now, I redefine abundance because we know abundance to be about wealth, right? And it's time for us to disrupt the definition of abundance, right? Are you guys down with me? Are you down with me? We need to disrupt so that our children, by the time they're able to really think about abundance, they only know it to be a holistic experience; that abundance includes relationships; abundance includes your spirituality; abundance includes your health; abundance is not just about the bottom line at the bank account. Can y'all help me with that? Can we agree? If there's anybody on the planet that can change the definition of abundance, it would be us. Yes, yes. So I'm watching on; I want you to be a part of it, but I'm, you're gonna see me going mad crazy everywhere going, "Wait, before I talk about abundance, let's redefine it for what it really is," because I have a lot of very wealthy friends, millionaires and billionaires who hang very close to me, and they're not hanging close to me to learn how to make money; they can teach me that; they're hanging close to me because they love how I have fun; they love how my son still hangs out with me. Interview saw me last night, back in the corner on the phone, yet, but I was booed up, talking to my honey; I was talking to my 21-year-old son who say, "Hey, Mom, I just want to hang out with you for a bit; can you can you just hang out with me?" I was like, "Absolutely; that food can get cold," right? Abundance is about having that holistic rim of success. Yes, yes. So I'm going to teach you today from some really great points here that I'm super excited, on fire about, and then for some of you, just a handful, and when invited to a whole eight-week live course, the first time I've taught an eight-week live course in five years, just around abundance and understanding an abundant life and designing an abundant life, real time, not just listening to a video, but real time with me, live. And so I want to start with that. So point number one, I want to make it, you want to write this down, point number one, and some of this you already know, but repetition is the mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, and cousin of learning. Yes, yes, is your super achievers. I'm a super achiever, then one thing we have to constantly remind ourselves is to create micro wins to get to our macro wins. That we go after the macro win, but we only look at the macro win. I want you to look at the micro wins and get five micro wins under your belt so you can create your macro win. That way you celebrate yourself a lot more often. Yes, yes. That way you can have an indicator that you're on the right track more often; that way your fuel is being acknowledged more often; that way you know you're on the right track. Let's get to micro wins; micro wins; micro wins can lead to a macro win. Can we agree that that's in a button, and I'm showing you how abundant thinkers think. So if you want up to meet you, model successful people. When I was on The Oprah Winfrey Show, honor one of the commercial breaks, she said, "So Lisa, how many coaches do you have?" She didn't ask me if I had a coach; she said, "How many coaches do you have?" I said, "Two." On the next commercial break, what you think I did? I asked her how many coaches do you have. She said, "Four." When I left the show, what do you think I did, right? I hired two more coaches. So success leaves clues; I'm gonna give you some of the clues and people who are living in abundant life now. You guys just allow this to be a salvo of confirmation, and then for everyone else is moving in that direction, and more so in that direction, these are the things that abundant thinking people do all day, every day. One, we create micro wins so we can get to macro wins, and we celebrate the micro wins, far more celebrations in life. Number two, we fail, but we always fail forward. See, people are going to fail; abundant thinkers, right, car, we fail forward; we fail, and we ask the question, "What lesson did I learn, and what will I do differently the next time?" Bring it on; bring it on; I'm okay. Some of my greatest lessons came wrapped in sandpaper; they came wrapped in expensive lessons; they came wrapped with a hot credit card that I have to pay it off with; they came wrapped with a lawyer I had to hire; they came wrapped with tears on my pillow when I got the lesson. You better know I didn't have to get it again. Yes, yes. Some of you're using your lesson as luggage; use your lesson as shackles; your lesson is your fuel to do it differently the next time. So abundant thinkers, we fail; we just fail forward every single time. Abundant thinkers, we're not only responsible, write this down, number three, we're not only responsible for our actions, we're not only responsible for our thoughts; abundant thinkers go the step further, and we're responsible for our reaction. Ooh, that's juicy. Yes, yes. Someone gonna chew on that on the plane on the way home, like reactions, right? Abundant thinkers, not only hold ourselves responsible for our thoughts, we hold ourselves responsible for our actions; we hold ourselves responsible for our reactions before we ever do it. It doesn't mean we react and apologize; it means we never do those things we have to apologize for. Yes, yes. We don't blame it on, "That's how I've always been," that's oh, grow up; your genius; your brilliant. A so oh, eight abundant thinkers. I'm just giving you some some nuggets; there's a ton of other
Things I'll share with you the other time, but I'm telling you these are practices of abundant thinkers. Christie talked about affirmations. Abundant thinkers understand the power of "I am." Anything after the word "I am" is true to your unconscious mind. Michael, anything, anything after "I am," anything, anything after "I am," even if you just, you know, it's not true, your conscious mind will believe it. Anything after "I am." So the use of affirmations is very intentional and very consistent.
I was diagnosed as clinically depressed in 2001—no, 1998. I'm sorry. I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. Me? Didn't make sense. I have been in a relationship; I was engaged to get married, and my fiancée, who I did not know at the time, was bipolar. He stopped taking his medicines, under the belief system that love can cure anything. And so I ended up being picked up and thrown three feet across the room, and I ended up being choked until I passed out. Once I got out of that relationship, I just was different; it was different. So my mom insisted that I go to the doctor. I went to the doctor, and I sat on the table, and she checked me and talked to me and came back in with a prescription. And she said, "Elisa, you're clinically depressed." And I felt like I heard Charlie Brown's parents talking: "Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah." Clinically depressed? At least, doesn't that make sense in that same sentence? And she handed me a prescription, and I read the description, and it had my name on it, and it said Prozac. I thought, "That don't make sense." Lisa Nichols, bro, that don't make sense. And I said, "Do you mean I'm sad?" She said, "Very, very sad." I said, "Can I try something?" And I'm not—I'm not recommending you guys, if you're on medication, you stop taking meds. Please don't do that. I asked my doctor; she agreed. I said, "Do you mind if I try something before I take this?" She goes, "Yes, but I need to see you back in 30 days. If you're in the same condition, I need us to try this medicine." I said, "Okay, I could do that." So I went home, and every day I got in the mirror and I drilled "I am" every day, because I realized I had forgotten who I was. I just forgot. I just—and it was okay to forget; I just forgot. So every day, every day for 25 minutes, I just went over the "I ams." Every day: I am, I am, I am, and I love that, what I forgive you for, then I parallel that, what I commit to you, Lisa, every single day. I went back in 30 days, and I'm talking to her, and I'm on fire. She's just looking at me; I'm just talking, talking. Twisted her head again, and I'm just talking, talking. She says, "Wait, I gotta stop you." I said, "What?" She goes, "What are you taking? And can I have some?" I was like, "I'm taking some of me." And so the power of "I am," the power of "I," can pull you through the darkest moment. The power of "I am." And so I want you to really begin—it's not hokey-pokey; it's not mushy; it's real, and it's the truth. Abundant thinkers—what else do abundant thinkers do?
Abundant thinkers continue to stay in cognitive dissonance; they continue to put themselves in cognitive dissonance. Let me explain to you what that is. Cognitive dissonance is the form of discomfort that you put yourself in when you think of yourself in such a way that doesn't match your current behavior. Mmm, as if somebody came—that's worth the price of admission just to do then that juicy—I must say it again—some of y'all like, "Okay, I don't even know how to write down cognitive dissonance," so just cognitive dissonance, your creative speller, whatever way you want. Cognitive dissonance is the form of mental disruption where you literally disrupt your own mind by thinking of yourself in a way that doesn't match your current behavior; it's beyond your current behavior. Your mind will be uncomfortable because it doesn't match, so your mind will begin to call you to do the thing to make your mental conversation match your behavior. Whoo, whoo! That's some good stuff. That right there, that's a game changer. Somebody! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Y'all so cute. I still see some of your faces like, hmm, Scooby-Doo retro. Just study it; just study it. When the book comes out, study it. I give you exercises to do; don't worry about it. So abundant thinkers are constantly placing ourselves in cognitive dissonance, constantly, constantly placing ourselves in, and, and, and cognitive dissonance. I have an infomercial that's coming out next year; it's the first personal development infomercial to come out since Tony Robbins. What can you say? Cognitive dissonance at its highest level, because that comes with a really big deal. But if I don't—if I—if I got it, I gotta scare somebody. We might as well make ourselves nervous reaching for the best version of ourselves. Yes. So how will you—I'm gonna start challenging you—how will you be the man, the woman you've always known yourself to be? I'm gonna come back to the points, but now I want to touch your soul, because this is great thinking; this is great notes. That's a cute notebook, but there's a calling on your life that you don't get to shake, and it's only yours. No one else has the same calling as you, so comparing yourself to me doesn't do any good. Comparison is and will always be the thief of all joy. Someone might want to write that down: Comparison is and will always be the thief of all joy. You will never do me—when people say, "Oh my god, you're like the next Oprah," I said—and I've told Oprah's producers this—they called me as recently as on the—on the plane, as I'm sitting on the plane coming here to A-Fest, they call it again. And then, "Lisa, we just love you; we just wanted to work with you." And I said, "As long as you are not trying to make me the next Oprah, because I will 100% fail you every time. If you want Oprah, but if you're ever interested, I do a damn good Lisa Nichols. I got her, got her own luck. I know Lisa." And so when you begin to look at people, look at someone as a model of who you can be by taking a piece of who they are, adding it to the uniqueness of who you are, and then understand—what's the divine assignment on your life? What do you need to do more of? Who do you need to be more of? What do you need to evict from your behavior? See, where infopreneur is—we love information—but what do you need to let go of? This is not serving you anymore. See, when I look at the things that—that I used to be—I look at procrastination, I look at scared, I look at being worried, I look at doubtfulness, I look at my edginess. I've always been a rebel; always will be a rebel. I thought they learn how to use my powers for good. Yes, yes. That wasn't always the case. There was a point where you might be there, so let me know if you—there's a point there where everything that you've been and every person, every, every characteristic that you've been that doesn't serve you, you need to confront it, and you need to say, "Thank you for getting me to this point, but in order for me to get there, I have to leave you here. You won't fit. Doubt, you won't fit. Worry, you won't fit. Up being afraid of being seen, you won't fit." Come on, somebody's—y'all don't forgot how to say yes, yes, or we got selective amnesia real fast. Like all those things that—fear of outgrowing your tribe—anybody there? See, that was mine. See, 'cause I wore it as a badge of honor. I love where I'm from; I don't apologize for where I'm from, and they're loud on pause. Like, I don't need to wear it and get through a door with it, but I don't want to hide it either. But something happened when I became wildly successful; I became almost ashamed of my success, 'cause it seemed to make me so different. It was so different from Inglewood; it was so different from my cousins; it was so different from other women of color; it was so different from anyone of any color in the struggle. And that, for a long time, that was my—my connection. I hadn't built another connection yet. Anyone know what I'm talking about? And all of a sudden, I begin to silently sabotage myself. Now it's not an obvious sabotage; I'm still running; I'm just kind of moonwalking. I look like I'm in motion; I'm just not as in much motion as I used to be. I remember the year when I made nine hundred and seventy-five thousand dollars in October, and I threatened to pass a million dollars in one year. I took the rest of the year off. I said, "I'm tired." You know, we have sexy excuses. And then the next year, I hit nine hundred eighty-five thousand in August, and I was confronted: "You gonna take the rest of the year off sick again?" And I had to realize that I was afraid of leaving someone behind. Come on, you guys. I'm just—I just want to speak the truth, and I see the tissue; I see the tears. I just—I just came—I stopped by to serve you up your truth. And someone has to love us enough to give us the truth, even if it's mildly to moderately to significantly uncomfortable.
I remember—and she's in the room—someone said to me the other night when I did the In Sweet—'cause I do this little In Sweet thing where I coach—and we had a great time coaching; I'll do it again tonight. And she said, "Don't you feel like you're elite? Don't you feel guilty that you're leaving your community?" And I said, "Not at all, because I can't do them any good struggling with them. But if I go away and I become someone—the woman I've always known myself to be—then I got something to go back and offer." Can you help me down off the stage? I learned—I love being a lady. I know I can—I know I can do it myself, but why? All right, thank you, all you ladies that don't know about that. You get that when you get to your 40s. So I want to be closer to you; I'm gonna push you a bit. Who are you willing to become at the risk of being seen? What are you willing to do at the risk of being wildly successful? What are you willing to say at the risk of being heard by everybody? What are you willing to motto at the risk that people will follow you? What are you willing to let go at the risk of getting something greater? See, it's not in all the information you gain; it's into what you're willing to do with the little bitty nuggets. If you just did half of what you've learned, just have—if you were willing to stand half as tall as who you know yourself to be—if you're willing—if you're willing—whose life would you change? Because when you get—when you get that your journey has less to do with you then it has to do with everyone who will be blessed enough to cross your path, then you're willing to do the thing you don't want to do, say the thing you don't want to say, so you can hurry up and be the person you've always known yourself to be. When you know to operate with a sense of importance—matter of fact, a little bit of urgency—to say, "Wait a minute, somebody's gonna cross my path today, and when I let my light shine, my life lumens, their dark corner, and for a brief moment, Anthony, they see a little more of themselves. For a brief moment, they can see that wing, and they go, 'Was that my wing? Oh, is that his wing?' And when you leave and they can still see it, they realize it was theirs because you let your light shine. You were generous enough to get out of your freaking way. You were willing enough to surrender, to kill your ego, to kill your shego. That's our—you know, we got our own, right. You were willing—" I'm gonna go back, guys, right? So you might have to twist a little bit, but I'm ago—when you look at someone, and I'm not saying I've—I've arrived anywhere, but I love the place in the journey that I am right now. When you look at someone you've chose to admire, ask me what I did in the dark of the night. Ask me what was I willing to let go of so that I, in this form, can be born. Ask me—ask me what jacket—what cost a victimhood—what cloth of fear I was willing to take off. Ask me what was I willing to go study that lived and breathed abundance until I wore it so much it became not in my head, not in my heart, but it got in my DNA. Come on, guys. When I bleed, it comes out. That's what you want to know. And then, how can I reinvent myself so radical that it might disrupt my entire community? See, some of you are more committed to keeping the company you're keeping than you are to be the person you've been designed to be. I'm just saying—uh, somebody might say, "Ouch," on that, right? I see you're out. She's like, "Oh, I'm not—I'm not even gonna walk over there right now; I'ma stay right here. I know I gotta hit you with that one." See, we get so committed to our tribe that we forget that it's seasonal; it's seasonal. And some people were brought in our lives to show us who we could become, and then our relationship will forever shift. And because we're trying to make everybody lifetime, we keep holding back, and we look like we're almost jumping into a game of double dutch. I'm almost there; I'm almost there. Hold on, hold on. Let the kids graduate from high school, but the kids are too high. Hold on, let me just get my money together. Hold on, let me lose this extra weight. Do you know if I waited—I lost the extra weight before I stood—you, Lisa Nichols, would be the freaking secret. Y'all get that? Yes, yes. How about we do it while we get better at it? How about we do it? How about your 80% is 159% of what I need right now? How about I need you're wrong in my life? How about that? How about your perfection is more about you than it's ever been about me? How about that? How about I need you to fall in front of me because I'm not watching you when you fail; I'm watching you and how you get up. Clap! I need somebody to model to me how to get up. How about it's not your perfection that I was ever looking for; it was watching you stand and shine and be inside of such an obvious imperfection; that's my inspiration. Huh. I—when I see you perfect, we're not a match; we're not a match. When I see you perfect—the night before I went on Oprah—I'm freaking out because I know I can't even—I can't go anywhere. I'll tell him the real story. So she had—you know, she had mile-dress experts, and I was like, "Well, I'ma tell my mess. I don't know about them, but you know—" 'cause 'cause the 56 million people watching her, they're not secret teachers, and so they need to hear about a woman; they need to hear about somebody who has doubt. I'ma tell them that. So I'm freaked out 'cause already—Norma—tell the truth like that, and I don't know what that means, and I've never told my mess in front of 56 million people before. You know, I can do five, six hundred, five, six thousand, but fifty-six million? Flying damn right. And so I'm nervous, and I'm—I'm packing for the trip the night before, and I'm listening to Kirk Franklin, a gospel artist, him and—'cause he talks about being, you know, imperfect—I'm matching, I'm China, and I'm just freaking out. And at 4:00 a.m., I call a friend of mine, and I'm just crying. I said, "I'm scared. I got the biggest opportunity of a lifetime tomorrow, and I'm scared. I'm scared that they're gonna know that I'm scared; I'm scared they're gonna know that I messed up so many times; I'm scared that they're gonna know just all my imperfections; I'm just scared." He said, "Let me pray for you." I said, "Okay." And he's just—what he said next changed everything. He says, "God, thank you for using your most imperfect child to help your most imperfect children." Oh, oh, oh! I'm perfect for the job! And I promise you, it had just shifted, and I've been standing on that since 2007 now. So I just stopped by to stir your soul; I stopped by to disrupt any form of complacency you might have in mediocrity; I stopped by to not let you off the hook of your greatness; I stopped by to remind you that your 70% might look like 159% to somebody else, but it's still your 70%; I stopped by to say it's in your imperfection that you're perfect; I stopped by to say that your gifts were never about you and for you; I stopped by to remind you—and every time I see you, I'm gonna remind you—that I need you more than you need you; that when you cross my path and I watch you keep working at it and I watch you keep coming back, you put oxygen in my chest, so I need you to keep showing up. It looks like for you, but it's just for me and a million other people coming behind me watching you. I stopped by to ask you, "Are you willing to live an abundant life at the risk of having it all abundant?" Are you willing? Are you willing? Are you willing to make abundant living your automatic, stop, non-negotiable? In anything, anything that's incongruent with it has to be evicted—that you're willing to disrupt your norm for it; you're willing to walk alone for a while. See, some of you want company so much, and you got to realize that before you can be good company to me, you got to learn how to be good company to you. So if you walk alone for a while—and you will—and you will share your vision with someone, and they won't get it; they just won't get it; they won't get it; they will not get it; and they won't get it for a reason. And someone came here just to hear this message. They won't get your vision because God didn't give your vision to them; your vision was given to you, and it's your job to nurture it, to feed it, to be good to it, to bring it out so we can then see it. But until you bring it out, we can't see it. So please don't ask me how beautiful it is; I can't see what's in you. That's like me being pretty: "Say my baby pretty." Huh, I don't know; could be ugly; I don't know. So I just stopped by to ask you just a few questions. What tons of content I can give you, but you're getting a lot of content. I want to make sure that it's landing on tilled soil; I want to make sure that you're stirred up a bit; I want to make you uncomfortable. Is it working? I want to do that because it's not always in your comfortable, raw, raw. Let's all be—although—see, I was sitting on that couch in 1995, and I didn't say, "I want to be awesome." That didn't come out first. What came out was, "This is not who I am. I am more than this, and I want my dad to freaking dance while I'm here, and I don't want to get to the end of my days"—instead, I kept some in—"I don't want to get to there—my days—and said I was standing at the line waiting for the right time." So sometimes your greatest leap comes from being fed up with something; your greatest leap comes with being done with something; your greatest leap comes in a combination—complete, and I'm ready; I'm complete with that, and I'm ready for that. See, when I was ready for an abundant life, numbers didn't scare me; money didn't scare me; going to conferences by myself didn't scare me; working all night didn't scare me; being alone didn't scare me; nothing scared me because I was ready. I said yes to it and everything that came with it. Are you willing to say yes to that? To what—I willing—because the reality is someone's watching you; someone's watching you; he's been waiting for me. Thank you. Fading. Thank you. Someone's watching you, and when you win, they win. When you win, they win. Some 14-year-old girls, some 20-year-old guys, some—some 10-year-old boy; they're watching you, and when you win, they win. A three-year-old child—when you win, they win. A stranger, a neighbor—when you win, they—when I get that my win doesn't just belong to me—when I win, she—
Wins when I win, he wins. So, on the days when you don't want to do it for you, do it for us.