Transcription
Sex Party with your host Dustin Ripka. Hello and welcome to Sex Party! I'm your host, Dustin Ribka. With me on the show this week is a friend of the show, Tatum Zoey. She is the host of the Girl Stop Talking podcast. She's back! She was in an episode, uh, in the first season, second season, I can't remember. Right, my bookkeeper isn't here. She also just appeared in the Christmas special. Tatum is here. We're going to talk about cloning your genitals and giving them to a partner to use as a sex toy, uh, or perhaps using them on yourself. We chat about Applebees. Uh, you'll, you'll see, um, what sex toys is Tatum using, which ones may be too strong. Tatum is a squirter, so we talk about the first time she squirted, the first time she had an orgasm. They're one in the same, actually. And at the end of the episode, towards, towards the back half of the episode, Tatum talks about how putting on some weight over the winter led to a drop in her confidence and her sexual activity, and what she has done about it. I share a bunch of crazy personal things. It's a wild, loaded episode. You guys are going to love this. So please enjoy my conversation with Tatum Zoe. This week's conversation, Tatum Zoe, welcome back to Sex Party. Um, you've been on the show one time for a regular episode. It was, uh, I think, I don't know, season one, season two, it's been a while. But then you came back this last, uh, Christmas and helped me celebrate Christmas. Um, you were dressed, dressed as an elf. People will remember. Um, but let's just say that they don't remember, um, you. They don't remember what you're doing. They're like, "Whoa, who's this? Who's this woman with blue hair?" Um, and if you're listening, don't stop listening to go look at the blue hair. Go to YouTube. Go to YouTube afterwards. Thanks. Uh, but for the people who don't know you, um, could you talk a little bit about who you are and what you do?
Hi. Yeah, um, I'm just, I feel like a normal girl. I don't know. It's like, it's like intro myself feels so weird. Um, I have a podcast also. It's called Girl Stop Talking. We kind of connected through the podcast world and it's just a hobby. Um, I wanted to like bring attention to like the more, more like vulnerable, taboo side of like sex, dating, relationships, along with like a spice of my own comedic style and real life situations that I've been to, been through. And I just basically exploit myself online for free right now. So.
Okay, well, let me, let me just for next, next time I'm doing the intro for you because I, I forgot that you hate doing intros.
No, but here's, here's the thing. Like, you guys, she's [ __ ] downplaying this. First of all, her podcast is really, really good. It's really, really good. And that was one of the things that, uh, made me originally want to reach out to you. And then we did that episode and it was like valuable, but like super horny and like super funny.
Yeah, if people, you know, they'll remember, like I was trying to, you know, get you to to admit whether or not you'd have a threesome with a sex doll and all that. Got wild again. Don't stop listening to this and go listen to that. Wait till this is over. Go find it. But, um, I have to instruct them. They're just, oh, sex doll and they'll leave. If you think that's good, this will be better.
Yeah, well, I didn't say that like my podcast wasn't good, but, but yeah, I know. But you're like, "I'm just a normal girl and I don't really do much." And, uh, "I don't know, I kind of have a podcast, but it's just fun and giggles or whatever." No, that thing is, that thing is good. Okay. I like, I like to talk about wildish, kinky [ __ ] in public and to my friends and kind of normalize it along with ridiculous online content that just will make people laugh because it's funny and sexual, you know, whatever. Like, I think one of my, like funnest, most, funnest, is funnest word. I think you can make it a word. Um, one of my best reels recently, just to give some context, it was like slow motion of like me choking on a banana and gagging myself with a toothbrush and it being like, "Everything reminds me of him." So I guess that's me. Is that a little?
Yeah, but I, no, I think, listen, you can do whatever you like. But, you know, when I'm at the wheel, we're going to like, tell them a little bit more. I'm, I'm going to be a little more, um, you can't come out and be like, "My [ __ ]'s really good, you should, you should whatever." But I can. So, so there you go.
Yeah, and I feel like the, the that kind of content, right? We all love the viral component to it. But it does, everything you do does come from like a real place. And I do think that there isn't a lot of people, well, there's more now, but I think just people who don't make content, they need to see some kink happening on Instagram. They need to see some like horniness or whatever. I mean, so much that you can give. I think like now Instagram has all these like weird rules and regulations where they try and like, you know, diminish viewing for some.
Do you see this feral animal? The cat is just out of control. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I forgot the squirt bottle. He's like, or you get like a, like a knockout dart or something and just, yeah. So don't mind my [ __ ] animal and feral. It's only one. That's definitely getting clipped, by the way.
Um, yeah, but no, you, you bring up a really good point and it's something that I've been going through a lot actually lately is this like total like walled off shadowban [ __ ] of, you know, Instagram, TikTok, a little bit. Even Facebook, right? Is like clamping down really, really hard with censorship on any sort of sexuality based anything. It doesn't matter if it's like horny, kinky, educational, LGBTQ, squat cobbler, it doesn't matter like what. Well, it doesn't matter what the [ __ ]. It's weird too because it's like there are still girls promoting their OnlyFans on Instagram, but it's like if you've had like violations before, which like I've had for some content. I'm not like butt naked, like bent over with a butt plug in my ass, you know, like posting a pic on Instagram. But then I like do a reel that like has something to do with sex or even the word sex and it gets flagged. And then, you know, they, they shadow ban you or diminish viewership, which is like crazy.
Yeah, they definitely deleted the first Sex Party, uh, account for sexual solicitation, which is always fun. So we had to re, we had to restart, um, from from from there and and rebuild a new one. Cuz those, you know, like Meta just needs to get a [ __ ] life. Maybe they just never get laid or something. I don't know why. You know, I've seen it. Beheading, literally. Not, not because I wanted to. Some a-hole [ __ ] right-wing dude, dude I know. Like, you could see all this crazy violence and it's like protected. And sometimes not even. But I know sometimes they throw like the blur filter over it or whatever. And it's like, "Okay, like this is okay." But like, you can't talk about where to buy a dildo for 20% off. Like, I just make it make sense.
No, it doesn't. It doesn't make sense. I think it, it goes back to some sort of like, we can't have women pleasuring themselves and telling others about it because then they won't want men or something weird. Yeah, it doesn't fit into the mold of society, which we're slowly breaking and chipping away at at this point. So, yeah.
I, I heard this in conspiracy theory, actually. This is perfect to talk to you about that. This is [ __ ] up. I, I saw it on YouTube and at first I'm like, but I like, kind of, I don't know, like especially with the election coming up and [ __ ] like, which I'm like, look, they, they got rid of abortion, sort of. And so they're coming for birth control next. They got rid of IVF. Whatever. Like, and so that's like, I'm kind of starting to talk a little bit more about that, like with the show or whatever. Um, and I was like looking at something that that had to do with that, like what would happen, you know, under Republican presidency, another round. And it was like, "Oh, like IVF, and then, and then birth control, then slowly they would take away condoms." And I'm like, "Wait, what?" You know, uh, it, it literally doesn't make sense. I mean, the whole thing is [ __ ] crazy. And I'll say from like, my perspective, like I consider myself a Republican in some ways. Like I, I mean, I know it's like weird to share. I feel like, but like, if we're talking about like ballots, like my ballot says Republican now. My choices on like, who I've voted for or whatever, don't always reflect that, you know? But it's like, you know, even for me, like being a woman and who talks about openly about sex, like I don't agree with any of that [ __ ]. And that's like wild to me. It's like the an episode of The Handmaid's Tale. It's like the beginning, you know what I mean? And especially with all that stuff going on in Alabama, I think it was Alabama, right? Where they IVF clinic shut down and everything because they're basically too afraid to stay open because they don't want to, you know, get charged for murder if something fails. It's like, yeah, what? And then you get some of these politicians. I've seen like the videos of people like asking follow-up questions. They're like, "Oh, well, that's something for a later time that we'll have to discuss." It's like, you don't even, what a PR [ __ ] nightmare.
Yeah, yeah. Well, and just like someone coached you to say something like that. You don't even have the answers because when you really unravel the conversation, they get stuck in a chokehold because it doesn't make sense.
No, totally. And let's be honest, like most politicians, uh, mainly Republicans, well, probably Democrats too, most politicians are having like a, a cocaine buffet, two-hooker lunch, um, every, every day. So like, they have to get back to the two-hooker lunch with cocaine because they can't be bothered to answer those questions.
This was not the conspiracy that I saw. Okay, the conspiracy. This is crazy as [ __ ]. That what we just talked about is crazy as [ __ ]. This is, I would venture to say this is crazier. That back in the day, and I don't even know, we're shooting from the hip here on Sex Party, right? That, uh, uh, like popsicles and like all of these edible items that were made to like suck on, like lollipops, all these things were like made more phallic shaped in order to train women to suck penis, like through their.
Stop. No, and think about it. Think about it. This was the conspiracy. Yeah. And they're like, this guy who owned General Mills at, you know, the turn of the century or whatever, uh, was a man who believed this, this, and this. And he had a wife and, and two other side chicks and, and like had all these daughters. And he developed the popsicle because he thought if you trained them young, and their whole life, they would be able to suck dick. Like, for real. Like, that's the conspiracy theory.
That's wild. But think about how many. And disgusting because, yeah, yeah. Like you're trying to like train children. I mean, that even just goes into the whole concept of like the elite, like crazy sex trade and all that kind of stuff. Like that, I feel like aligns with, yeah, all of those things as well. [ __ ] grooming at its finest. That's [ __ ] up.
Well, and I feel like also, we all know how to suck on a popsicle, but we don't all know how to suck dick. Like, nobody's really, yeah. So mission failed, buddy. Like he, yeah, completely. He flopped, right? Because it's, but like the idea, couldn't you see in 18, 1890, a bunch of guys sitting around like, you know, Civil War is over and been over for, you know, 25, 30 years. We need to get our dick sucked. We need to get some, yeah. What can we do to get our dick sucked more? Um, oh my God, you know, and like refrigeration wasn't a thing yet. And so they were like, "What if we made these things and you could suck on them? They would melt." Like, "Oh, like ice cream." Yeah. But we make him in the shapes of dicks.
My real question is, can we get curved ones? Yeah, curve. And like different sizes, maybe? You know what I mean? Right. So you could like, exactly. If that's what we're going to do. And actually, we may have just come up with like a really great business idea, right? Like, yeah, for 18 plus community, though. Adults only. Um, popsicles that are different sizes. You could have like the ched ones, and then you could have like the long and skinnies, and then like the [ __ ] dou. You know, um, yeah, you, you could get one like circumcised, uncircumcised. It can, like, you can peel it back with your teeth. Yeah. An uncircumcised penis popsicle for adults only. Um, I'm sure like, there's so much. You go into the bachelorette section of like Hot Topic or Spencer's and they have like penis cakes and lollipops and all the things. I mean, you can go to like the sex store and you can clone your [ __ ].
Oh yeah. For like, have you seen those? Clone-a-Willy? You should explain it though, because they haven't heard this from me yet because I haven't cloned my. Okay, so like a Clone-a-Willy. It's literally called Clone-a-Willy. You can look it up on Amazon or like any, you know, Fascinations or, I don't know what you have there. Any sex store will probably have them. And essentially it's like this box that gives you all of the tools to turn your penis into a dildo. And then you can also get like different colors. You can get one that has like a vibrator in it. So that you can put the like a vibration in it. I think they even have like glow-in-the-dark ones.
Glow-in-the-dark? Uh, I mean, yeah, you know. And there's like all sorts of. I'm trying to think what there was. There was some sort of product where, uh, you could like, it's like a mold, right? Like you're molding this thing. Yeah. You, you're basically creating a mold of your dick and then you like fill the mold with silicone, let it dry, and then essentially you have like your dick, right? And yeah, you can give, and you, your woman can use as a dildo, or you can use as a dildo, whatever you prefer, you know?
Yeah, that would be kind of crazy as a man, like [ __ ] yourself in the ass. With your own, well, a copy of your own dick. Yeah. Like an extremely narcissistic thing. Definitely, definitely.
Yeah, well, I mean, you'd have to be pretty narcissistic to be like, "I gotta, I gotta make a copy of this thing." I don't know. Doesn't your, like, mind wander sometime? You're like, "I, I wonder what it feels like to like have something in my ass." Like, no, like, like what it feels like for, like, it feels like for you to [ __ ] someone, but like for someone else to feel [ __ ] by you. Oh, so then you could. Do you get what I'm saying?
Oh, yeah. But I don't think I, I mean, I wouldn't. I think even if it's yourself, right? Like, I'm not against like ass play or what any of those things, right? But like, I'm not into like somebody [ __ ] me in the ass. Like, I'm not, this doesn't do it for me. So I wouldn't be able to like mold a copy of my dick and then stick it in my own ass. I think that's like something I wouldn't be into, right? But like, you know, that's so wild.
Yeah, well, I think you'd have to be. I mean, have called me a narcissist before and sure, whatever. Um, but I, I think, uh, they were very mad. It was in the middle of the street. Um, but, uh, we're, we worked it out. We're friends now. But, um, okay. Both of us. Yeah. But I, I think you'd have to be pretty narcissistic to like imagine like you clone or, you know, you, you create a mold of your own [ __ ] and you just like eat it. That's a wild. I mean, yeah, right.
Well, you just asked me if, what don't you ever wonder? Yeah. Well, I, no, I know. It's funny being it, having it thrown back for sure. But also like, I know they make like the clones of like vagina molds or whatever, but you can't really get like the inside. It's just like the outside. But it's different for the man because you're getting, yeah. But like the full experience. I mean, you know about like Fleshlights and [ __ ], right?
Yeah, but aren't they all just like, whatever they're made out of on the inside? Like, you can't pour molding [ __ ] inside of someone's vagina or like. Well, they go like around the front part of it. They don't go all the way in, right? But then you can like, well, there's different ones, right? Like, and you could get different porn stars, you know, [ __ ] like whatever. Yeah. Right. Um, yeah, and, and yeah, but it, whatever that, whatever that [ __ ] uh, uh, whatever they're making it out of, it does feel real. I will, I will say, I did buy a Fleshlight over the, the COVID experience, which sounds like a very, uh, not, not fun concert to go to, right? So yeah, like, uh, it's definitely not, um, Fleshlights are are okay. But the, the problem is, like, you really have to clean those things. Like, you really have to clean them. They do feel real. I think that the, um, for me, the drawback was one, it's very, um, like, you have to, to really get the full experience, right? You have to warm it up. So you're either buying like a, a $85 warming stick where you can literally put the fake [ __ ] over the warming stick and it warms it up in like, you know, 90 seconds or some [ __ ]. It's like a 100 bucks or whatever it is. Or here's the other option for the rest of humanity is you fill up a sink in the house with hot water and you drop it in there and let it, you know, warm up. Then you put it in the [ __ ] because you want it to feel realistic and like it's not, it's got to be like body temperature, essentially. Yeah. And I, I will say, you know, pop some lube on that [ __ ] and there is like a thing where you can tighten and loosen the, whatever. It does feel incredibly real. And, and it's great, sure. But the problem is that, you know, being a dude, you're doing this all the time. You're jerking off all the time, right? And so when you have that, it's just a bigger thing. They don't, what you don't realize until it's too late is you didn't buy the warming stick and you didn't buy the the mount because you want to like [ __ ] something. You don't want to like jerk off. I mean, sure, right? So that's the problem with male sex toys, with with those kinds of male sex toys.
That's so interesting. Okay, so now that we're on this topic, I'm gonna throw it back. How, get, who knows? This is how Sex Party goes when Tatum is here. We just sort of float around. Um, okay, what kind of sex toys are your favorites? Are, do we have any new players in the game? Everybody I ask this to is like, "Well, the Hitachi is the is the original. It's like, you can't beat it." Like, where, where do we fall? Is it, are you, is it some weird, crazy alien thing you're using? Are you, are you cloning, uh, your man's [ __ ]? Like, what kind of, what are your favorites?
Um, just to clarify, cuz I kind of lost you for a second. You asked me like, what my new favorite sex toys are, if there's anything new. That was a question. Yeah. Yeah. And like, you, a lot of people I ask this, they're like, "Oh, like the Hitachi is like the best thing you could ever buy as a woman." Right? But I didn't know like if you, you know, if you, if you cloned your man's [ __ ] at the Willy Wonka store or whatever. And you know, or you have like, um, one of those flower things that like eats your, your [ __ ] or like whatever. But like, what are, what are you using?
I have a couple. Um, there was a point in time where like brands were reaching out to me to like review and stuff like that, which was really cool. So I need to get back on to making content because that was great. Um, I haven't used like the name brand like Hitachi or there's like another one that's really similar to that, I can't remember. Um, but basically I have like the one from Amazon. Listen, I'm a baller on a budget with some things, okay? I don't need much to get this. That's.
I know. Here we go. You know what's so funny is before you ask that question, I was like, "Huh, maybe I'll clone my vagina and give it to my man as a present."
You, yeah, of course. You're over there thinking of that.
[Laughter] Yeah. Um, you should do it. Anyways, we'll see. We'll see how that goes. His birthday is coming up.
Oh my God, I I need this documented. If you clone your vagina and give it to him, I I seriously, I need some sort of document.
Need to spice things up a little bit, you know? I think I should like do that and then give it to him in a very public place. Oh, yeah. For real. Like a really fancy Italian restaurant. Yeah. Or just like, yeah, something like that. But anyways, so.
Or Applebee's?
Or no, no, we're not going to Applebee's. I've had enough two for 20 in my life. I don't need any more of that.
It's a good deal though.
Yeah, it is. I mean, they're $5 Margaritas, you know? Like, if Applebee's reached out to sponsor your podcast, would you do it?
Oh, 1,000%. Me too. Me too. It's a big corporation, you know, whatever. Like, a girl's gotta start somewhere. Imagine all the sex toys you'd have then, you know? Like, we got the Applebee's bunny now. Y'all, Applebee's, my orgasm sponsored by Applebee's. I don't know. Two for 20. Yeah, there you go. That's funny. That's so funny.
So, okay, the one that I have, it's like the wand knockoff. It's the Applebee's version of the wand. Um, and it's just from Amazon. I think it was like 30 bucks or something, 20 bucks. But here's my thing with the wand. It's like so intense, you know? I mean, there's tons of like different settings on it. But I feel like even like the lowest setting, if I use that, it's we're done. Like, I mean, we're not, I'm like orgasming. It's over. We don't have to be done. But also what I've noticed is that like, it's almost too much. Like, I think it's like an over-sensitized experience for me personally. And I think if I, if I use it too much or for too long, I feel like I just go numb. Which is wild.
Okay, so when are we busting this out? Is it like, if you're, so every time you use it, you're, you, you're just like, "Ah." Like within what, a minute, two minutes? I mean, it could literally be so fast. Like, if I'm just trying to get one out and be done, it could just be like, I could do 60 seconds.
I'm so envious, actually. I mean, it's like, but obviously, you know, I mean, I like to like treat myself too. So I'm not just going to, you know, I like to like warm up, old, start the engine, you know? Yeah. I'm sure that's a little jolting. But like, you know, if you're in between podcast recordings or sending emails, you're like, you know, you know, just like that could be very helpful. Like, yeah.
No, it definitely, it definitely could. But I, it's not something like I like to enjoy the experience, you know? I like to like take my time. And so if, yeah, if I want to just get one off really quick, fine, sure, I'll use it. I have used it during sex plenty of times. But again, depending on like the positions that we're doing, it's going to be like, I know if I want to come right now, just bust out the toy and let's use it. But, you know, you can also use it on other areas too. So sometimes I'll like do that during partnered sex, lower on the thigh, or, you know, on the pubic mounds, like stuff like that, where it's not like direct [ __ ] contact because I just know it'll be like, game, game's done. We're orgasming.
Maybe the batteries are too strong or something. High. Yeah. Well, on high. And it's on the, the setting that's like, it's on the destroy setting. The destroy [ __ ] setting.
Damn it. I didn't even see this knob here.
Um, okay, so have there been moments, and I'm sure, but, uh, have there been moments during sex where you're like, it's, it's going on a long time and like, you know, he's pounding away or whatever, and you're like, "God damn it, just give me the wand." And like, that, that helps you get there? Because it's like, because we, we've all like been having sex and it's like, enjoyable and we love it or whatever, but maybe, you know, your favorite show. Yeah. Or you're hungry. Like, that's the thing that my girlfriend and I were like, having all this sex and it's like, "H, they're both like, you know, away." Oh, yeah. We're like, "I'm starving." And like, her and I always forget to eat, you know? And so it's like, she's better than I am. But, you know, you be, you're banging, right? And you're just kind of like, "Okay, now it's time to like, either you, whatever." So you have, had that moment where you're like, "Yeah, all right, give me the [ __ ] wand," and then you just blow it out?
Yeah, it's either that. I mean, I don't need the wand to like get to that moment. Like, I think in like the situation that I'm in now, like I just, I'll just hop on top. And also, that's like, if I'm on top, it's like squirting, orgasm, we're done. It's over quickly.
Really? Okay, so if you're on top and you use that, or just on top? No, just on top. Okay. So you, you're so number one, we've established you can squirt.
Well, I feel like, okay, it's, it's like wet, wet. Okay. Go on. Because we had, so we had to get like one of those blankets. They're like the waterproof blankets because otherwise it's just so much laundry, you know? White sheets and, yeah, bodily fluids. It's like a lot. And then also like, I don't want that [ __ ] on my mattress. It's expensive. So, yeah. I think because of the anatomy that my partner and I have, when I'm on top, just like face, you know, facing, I don't know what the position is called. Cowgirl? No, cowgirl. Yeah, cowgirl. Cowgirl. And then if you go backwards, it's reverse cowgirl. So cowgirl on top, it's just, it just hits the G area right where it needs to be hit. And it's like the splash zone.
That's awesome. And so he's into it? Like, he's like, "Just get." He loves it. Yeah. Which is not, hasn't always been a great experience for me, actually. Like, I've realized in majority of like my hookups and past relationships, it's actually been a problem. Um, I, I see that now because I was just dating [ __ ] boys and they didn't want their sheets to be ruined because, you know, they have a girlfriend or they're seeing other people or whatever. Um, but being in this relationship now, I've been able to like unravel some of that shame and really just like let, you know, let that fly, which has been great.
So did you have someone, so like a, a [ __ ] boy or whomever you're having sex with them, and then you like, you squirt everywhere and you're like, "Oh my God, that was great." And he's like, "What the [ __ ]?"
No, literally. I shared the story on my podcast. I can't remember what episode off the top of my head, but the, so I'll just give a little backstory. I had a whole ass baby before I had an orgasm, okay? Which is wild, but not uncommon. I think also, I had my son when I was 19, so like not very like established in like sexual relationships, bodies, whatever. Um, and this guy, this experience that you asked this question for, the first time I had an orgasm, I also squirted. And I didn't even know what what happened. So we, and, and I've realized that this happened because like in that sexual experience, there was like a lot of buildup and like really like lowkey, like I was being seduced and it was super hot. And we ended up having sex. I orgasmed and I was like, in that moment, I was like, "Oh my God, it finally happened. I was like, this is, I get it now. Like, I get it why people love doing this so much." You know? And then we like got up and I went to the bathroom. And when I got up, he stood up and he literally like looked at the bed and there was like a puddle. And he was like, "What the [ __ ]?" And I was like, "What's wrong?" And he's like, "Why didn't you tell me you were going to do that?" And I was like, "I'm sorry, like, do what?" And he's like, "Look," like, and he like pulls the sheets up. It's like on the sheets. He like rips the sheet, rips off the fitted sheet. It's like on the bed, like a puddle on the bed. And he's like, "Why didn't you tell me you were going to do that? We should have put something down. Like, you should have told me. You should have said something if you knew you were going to do that." And I'm like, "What happened? I'm like, I don't, I'm like, that's never happened to me before." And he like didn't believe me. He's like, "Yeah, right." Like, literally just like shaming me the whole time. Being like, "Yeah, right. You knew what you were doing." And then so I went into the bathroom to clean up or whatever. And then I, I looked down and I saw tampons in the trash. And then it all started to like piece together that I was assuming like he had a girl, like a, you know, a girlfriend or someone he was dating or something like that. It's like, how is he going to explain the wet bed?
Yeah, because, because his girlfriend doesn't squirt and you just soaked it. Yeah. That's awesome. First of all, on one hand. And I'm sorry, and I'm sorry about the [ __ ] trauma from the [ __ ] goon squad. Uh, on the other hand. So those, um, yeah, how fascinating though, that you didn't have an orgasm until after you had had a child. And your first orgasm, you squirted. Okay, so are we squirting with every orgasm, or is it just? Okay, was it like that for a while in the beginning, or how did you? I mean, you're walking out of there with shame, but then you also just discovered how to come and that you could come and that you could squirt. So like, what's your mindset? Are you like, "[ __ ] that guy, we're going to try this some more," or what?
Yeah, it was definitely like, "[ __ ] that guy" after that experience. Um, and I don't really think all of the pieces like connected together for a while. That was, I'm trying to think. I think like moving forward when I had been like sleeping with other people or having like hookups or whatever, um, it started happening again. But it was only while I was being fingered. So it was like specifically fingering. And again, though, it's like, even with those people, it was kind of like the same scenario where like, one of the guys was like, "We can never keep sheets on the bed because they always end up soaking wet." And I'm like, "Okay, well, like, you're the one doing this to me. I'm like, I don't know how to control it." You know what I mean? And then I think eventually there was like, I could tell when it was going to happen. Like, after feeling like the sensation, um, and like recognizing it a little more. And I would hold back or I would stop or like switch positions or something that I, it wouldn't happen because of those past experiences. Um, but, and I think now being in the relationship that I'm in, I have, you know, I have full control over what's going on. And they, they aren't always like one in the two. So like, I can squirt without having an orgasm, or, you know, vice versa.
Yeah, yeah. How long did it take you to like figure all that out and like master that?
I mean, I would, I wouldn't say I'm like a, well, it sounds like it. [ __ ] Mr. Miyagi. It sounds like you have [ __ ] you have control over the thing. For the ladies listening, I am a believer that everybody can squirt. I think it's it's a part of like your anatomy. And there are some really good podcasts that I've listened to, um, from Sex With Emily. She's like a sex therapist and she has amazing people on the show. They talk about it in detail and they describe like the anatomy on and how it happens. So like, from my understanding, and I'm going to quote this as best as possible, um, there is a female prostate. And it's behind what they call the G area, or formerly known as like the G-spot, which is typically about two and a half inches inside of the vagina. Okay? So when you aggressively press or tap on that area, you release fluid from the prostate, which is known as female ejaculation. So what it feels like, which I think is where most women get stuck, is it feels like you have to pee. So you'll be in this moment with the man, like whether he's fingering you or you guys are [ __ ], and you'll have like, maybe you're feeling like, "Oh my God, I have to pee." Let it go. Yeah, let it go. [ __ ] pee on him. No, no. I mean, for real. I mean, well, I guess maybe you should ask or whatever. But whatever. [ __ ] him. Pee on him. I mean, but I, I'm just like, kind of a joke, like, because I don't like, uh, squirting isn't pee. I believe there are traces of it in, because obviously you're just dealing with that whole area. But I think like a lot of women tend to hold themselves back because of that fear. And the feeling is so similar. So like, I know like when I'm going to squirt, because I feel that feeling. And then I can at that point, control like, are we going to keep the rhythm and the tempo of what we're doing? Or, you know, did we not put the blanket down and like, we need to switch positions because it's late and we don't want to do laundry? You know?
Yeah, yeah. Are we at Applebee's? Uh, are we, are we? Yeah, right. Like at our parents' house? I don't know. Right. Two for 20.
Um, no, I think that's, that's incredible. I think that's, I, I love that you said all that and then thank you for that because I think, yeah, a ton of people ask about that. And they, and a lot of people do give up. Just the other day, I was fingering my girlfriend and, you know, you're doing the come hither thing, trying to find the right, the G-spot. But I was up a little higher and she was like, "Uh, I kind of feel like I have to pee." I'm like, "Well, if I keep going right where I'm at, you'll squirt." She's like, "What?" I'm like, "That's that, you know, in my, in my humble experience, right?" And, and, and whatever, that's how you make someone squirt. So it does, from what I've been told and what you just said, right? Yes, you validated that. It does feel like you're going to pee. And whatever. So can I ask, did she squirt?
We stopped because we were hungry. I'm kidding. Um, we had to go to Applebee's, right? No, I'm kidding. Listen, I, I haven't been to Applebee's since 2019. And there's nothing wrong with it. I used to go there all the time and like, whatever. I used to go there underage and they would, they wouldn't card me. So I would always go there to drink.
Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And they like have like strong ass, like girly drinks too. Like huge bowls of [ __ ] sangria slush, like, you know, [ __ ] knock yourself out.
No, she didn't squirt. Um, we stopped, uh, because I was doing like the thing where I was like going down on her and fingering her, the old tongue finger thing. Yeah. Um, and we had this experience in Vegas where she had this insane orgasm where she thought she basically died. You know? And we, and so we were just sort of like fooling around. And for some reason, like, uh, when I'm eating her out and like when I'm really going down on her, when I'm like really, really going at it, um, my, the bottom of my tongue like gets like, I get like, I'll start seeing blood or tasting blood, right?
From you? It's from me. Yeah. Of course. I'm like, "Oh my God, is she bleeding?" You know? But I'm like, I'm like, "Get some, calluses under there, care." Okay, so this last time, like when, when she was about to squirt or whatever, I like lift it up my face and there was just [ __ ] blood everywhere. It was like a vampire movie.
Yeah, it was pretty. That's crazy. Your teeth. You got to put some Invisalign on the bottom of your teeth and then you have like that bar. Yeah. No, trust. Cut yourself open.
Yeah, I mean, because that's that's something that has always, um, last couple of rounds has like become a thing. I'm like, "Oh [ __ ], it's when I get aggressive about it is when, you know, she's like, 'Oh my God,' and I'm like, 'Whatever, fine.'" Exactly. Yeah. C, I want to finish the [ __ ] job. Like, you know, blood, sweat, and tears. Who gives a [ __ ]? Right? Like, let's do this [ __ ] [ __ ]. But I'm sure it's a gruesome sight when I, you know, look like, "Fu, you come up and you're like bleeding."
Yeah, that's crazy. Was that good blood all over my [ __ ] face?
Yeah, well, I'm happy to hear it's you, not her. So I'm sure it was good. Hopefully she's enjoying it. Yeah. No, I mean, the oral game in this household is [ __ ] 10 out of 10. So we're [ __ ] we're [ __ ] good.
Um, you know, earlier you mentioned, mentioned, uh, spicing things up, right? And we talked a little bit before this about how recently you're having difficulty spicing things up. And I would love for you just to like, tell that tale and be your honest self because I think you, [ __ ], that's one of the cool things that you do. Is you, and I like goof around and like shout out Applebee's and [ __ ] all the, you know, sex dolls and bloody [ __ ], yeah, everything. And, and there, there will be more of that in this episode, I'm sure. But you also provide a ton of value from a place that I think, whether you're a man, you're a woman, whatever, like people can really key into. And so tell me about you having a bit of difficulty lately, [ __ ] spicing things up in the bedroom.
Yeah, I think like over the last year or so, I've been struggling like with my own personal, like, I want to say weight. I mean, I'm not like an overweight person, but like obviously everybody has like the idea of where they want to be physically. And like, I also don't want to like label it as like body dysmorphia or anything like that. But for, I guess in a sense, maybe I am just overthinking it and in my head. Um, but I know for me, like I've, I've been struggling with my weight a little bit. And I feel like I've tried everything under the sun to, um, you know, be healthy and make changes to my diet. And then even go as far as like doing Ozempic. And I did lose a lot of weight with that. Um, long story short, it all came back very, very fast when I stopped being very critical of what I was doing. Um, and I just, I gained probably like 20 pounds. And the reason why it, I'm a tall girl, so like, I think physically most people like don't see the change. But for me, what really started like, you know, all of this, which has affected the intimacy in my relationship, was I just didn't fit into my clothes anymore. Like, and never in my life have I not felt confident. Like I feel like I've always just been a confident person regardless. But the fact that I like was not fitting into my clothes, like nothing. My shorts stopped fitting. Then it was winter. I didn't have jeans that would fit. I was very uncomfortable in everything I was wearing, even my gym clothes, which as we know have stretch, they did not fit. So that's where I was like, I know that it's hindered like my want to be physically connected with my partner. Just because, you know, I'm in my own head. Like I can't center myself and like ground myself into the experience with the person that I love. And he does not care, you know? He's like very good at validating, like making me feel good about myself. But I think like just being a woman or person in general, like you have, you start to create some of those insecurities and you do overthink them. So yeah, it's been shitty to say the least. Like this, this the way I feel, not like the intimacy. But there's been a lack of, in my opinion. Like I definitely want to be having more sex. Um, but it's hard to do that when you don't feel comfortable in your own skin. So, you know, I'm kind of at this place now where I actually started working with a nutrition coach. And I won't go heavily into those details, but I'll be eight weeks in on Sunday. I've lost five pounds and five inches around my waist. And I fit into my clothes again.
So how do you feel? First, first question.
Yeah, I feel great. I mean, I've worked really hard for it. And I've changed. I, I wasn't an unhealthy person before, which is crazy, but it was like the under, it was me underconsuming food. So like, I wasn't getting enough like protein and carbs in my diet. Therefore, I was plateaued and my, like body was working against me and not with me. So there was, there has been a lot of change. Mostly in like food intake and that's basically it. So yeah, I'm feeling amazing. Like the last couple of weeks have honestly been great. I'm sharing my experience, um, pretty thoroughly online as well. And it's nice to feel like a lot of people also feel inspired by it, you know? I mean, I like to make people feel good. That's why I like to post stuff like this and be so realistic. But it's crazy to think like in my, what I would consider like downfall of myself, other people are like inspired, you know, by the journey. I guess. So yeah, it's, it's been really good. The last couple weeks have been great. I started sending my boyfriend nudes. I also started sending my nutrition coach nudes.
Wait a minute. In, okay, nutrition coach is a man or a woman?
She's a woman. All right. We had to. She's a girl. And they're not like, I'm not like legs spread open. It's like, she's already seeing me in like, you know, basically topless, like a tiny bra and a thong. So it's, it's like partial nudes, I guess I would say. But yeah, yeah. I've sent a nutritionist nudes. And it definitely wasn't professional.
But um, I know, I totally, I, to, I totally understand. Uh, well, first thing, you know, thank you for [ __ ]. And I'm gonna dive back into it here in a second, but I want to say, like, I had almost the exact same, uh, experience as a man. This, this winter has been the same for me. Hasn't affected me sexually, 'cause I'm just a monster in that, in that department. I'm a psycho, right? But it has definitely affected everything else. I was in this weird zone where I had like three pairs of jeans, one fit really great. There's like a tear in the crotch, you know, dudes, like, we'll just [ __ ] wear it till, you know, our [ __ ] boxer briefs are hanging out the side, right? Like, hanging out. Yeah. And yeah, like, sorry, you can't go to the movie theater like that, sir. Like, whatever. And so the pair of jeans that fit me was gone. And so now it literally became a thing where if we wanted to go somewhere, like, I had to put on [ __ ] sweatpants, like I was, you know what I mean? So I put on 20, 30 pounds. And, you know, nobody can tell because y'all are seeing me from the [ __ ] chest up. Yeah. Which is, you know, maybe my face looks [ __ ] a little blimpy. That's why, guys, but like, I totally resonate with that and I totally, you know, feel that. And, and I'm going through the same [ __ ]. Like, this [ __ ] trainer is like beating my ass, right? Um, and I think it's normal and we should normalize that [ __ ] fluctuation. [ __ ] and it sucks. It [ __ ] it does do a number on your confidence. So how did it present for you sexually? Where you like, he's like, hey, it's Wednesday, it's time for our special, uh, you know, session and you're like, wait, I got to check the ice cube tray? Like, were you making excuses and like, whatever? 'Cause I feel like when people avoid sex, they'll be like, oh, uh, Jenny called, I need Jenny from sixth grade. Like, like what? What were you doing? Were you avoiding sex? Were you making excuses? Did you just tell him, I don't feel good?
I think, like, I don't know if I was avoiding necessarily. I think like my relationship is also, um, partially long distance. Like, we live two hours away from each other. So we do our best to see each other at least three of the four, three to four days a week. Like, during the week, he'll come down here because I have like mom duties and [ __ ] and he works remote. And then on the weekends, we're usually together anyways. So I think it kind of went like hand in hand because we were just so busy during the holidays where it was like, you know, it was maybe only seeing each other on weekends, um, and not as much during the week. Or, you know, when there was a couple times we went two weeks without seeing each other, which we don't like to do. But then, I mean, like, if, if the experience starts, I'm not going to stop it. But I guess I just stopped engaging in the way of like, um, being the one to, what's the word? I can't think of the word. Initiate. Initiate it. Yeah. So, and I mean, you know, he would, if he initiates it, then, you know, I, it would end up happening. But then also, I mean, there's just a lot of factors. Like, we have kids, my son running around. And then it's like, at the end of, we're doing all these fun things. And then at the end of the night, it's like 9:00 and then I'm like, I'm exhausted. And, you know, and it's like already on top of like, not feeling my best. But then I'm like, I don't, I just don't want. I don't know. I felt like there wasn't like a want or an urge to like want to be.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I, I get it. No, I totally get it. Um, and I think that's one of the first things that happens because you do, you go like, this initial shock of like, oh my God, my [ __ ], uh, my [ __ ], you know, Breaking Bad pants don't fit. Or like, whatever your favorite [ __ ]. Like, I don't know where that came from, but you get it. That's like a shock, right? And then, um, then you try to like look around for like, oh no, this can't be right. And then, and then like, okay, what are we going to do about it? So did you tell him then, like, hey, I'm going through this thing? Okay. He knows. There's tons of tears, literal like full girl meltdowns, like crying, like yelling at myself on the phone, like very. I mean, I'm like, I mean, people say that I'm like, kind of dramatic. So I don't know if you would like, if you see it, but, um, don't get me started.
Well, I, I think you're really hard on yourself. And I am really hard on myself. Yeah, too, in certain ways. Yeah. I mean, I think like I definitely am because I also know what I can do. And so I think there was just this big frustration on like, I am trying so hard with the knowledge that I know, why isn't this working for me, you know? Um, but also, I think of the other part of that, like, I think in relationships sometimes you get comfortable, you know? And it's like, if some of these things like, oh, they are just happening once a week because we're only seeing each other once a week. And then we're seeing each other two or three or four times a week and it's like, we're doing life, you know? And I think there is some of that like comfort when you have all of these other like life factors. Like, I think that is a just an honest, real life thing, you know? So I think it definitely will take two to be like, we're [ __ ]. Yeah, which I've said. Like, I would like sent him a nude the other day and I'm like, I sent him like a picture of my ass. So he was out like riding his dirt bike and like a two-hour thing, whatever. And I sent him a picture of my ass and I titled it. I was like, I can't wait to ride you later. And I'm like, trying to like, like generate the conversation so that it's on like the top of my mind. I'm almost like gassing myself up to be like, we're going to like, we're going to have sex when I see him. We're going to have sex. So then that way it doesn't go unnoticed. And then, you know, we don't just go about like the day-to-day motions.
Wow. Well, I mean, here at the end of the [ __ ] episode, I was going to ask you to give some advice, right? You just did. But, um, for, for a hot second, right? Like, here at the very end, if, if there is, uh, they don't have to be a woman, but I, but in general, you know, a man, a woman, whomever, right? Um, if they are feeling uncomfortable about their weight, or or they don't think they're sexy because their tooth is [ __ ] up, or they're, they have a lazy eye, or like, whatever, right? Yeah. Um, give them some advice on how to just like crack that and just like, whatever. And then you can also like recommend a sex toy. Do whatever you want. This is your last little bit of advice at the end.
Tatum. Okay. Um, I think like you have to do something. You have to find something that makes you feel good about yourself. Like, you, there has to be something, you know, whether it's waking up and getting out of bed at 6:00 and making your bed every morning, or like getting 30 minutes of outside, like sun, like activity, or something like that. It seems so like basic and simple and like people say that [ __ ] all the time. And maybe it's not that, but there has to be something that you can find positive about yourself that can kind of like, that you can focus on to get yourself like, your change your mindset and get yourself out of like this slump, you know? I think like for me, honestly, it's getting up at 5:00 AM and going to the gym. My day is better when I start it early, even though I hate getting out of bed. So like, and even though I didn't fit into my gym clothes. Also, if it's like a weight thing, I refused because I'm stubborn. I refused to buy new clothes because I told myself it's, it's not going to be worth it because you're going to lose this weight. I honestly think that hurt myself more than helped myself. I was trying to use it as like a positive like goal to be like, you're going to fit back in it. But realistically, what ended up happening is every day I felt worse about myself because and I was uncomfortable trying to squeeze into clothes that didn't fit me. So like, if it's a weight thing, buy something that's cute, that's fashion forward. Like I found a [ __ ] full gym bodysuit. I got it in three different colors. I wear it, each one like three days out of the week. I would wear that because you could style it up. I felt comfortable in it because it's like spandex, you know? I could wear it to the gym or I could wear it as an outfit. So it was like, you know, those little things that did make me feel better without having to go and buy a whole new wardrobe in the size that I don't want to be. Um, I think relating to sex, like I think just spending more time with yourself, like finding that like connection with yourself, whether it's like masturbation, like mindful masturbation, masturbation, like sending, setting an intention of like spending time doing you and like what's going to make you feel good. Like I said, with maybe it's yoga, or maybe it's just spending five minutes in the morning like breathing and centering yourself. Um, maybe it's doing rubbing one out every day to like get that dopamine released. Like, you know, I think that there, you got to find like the little things in life that do make you feel good to almost like give yourself some sort of distraction from the negativity.
Well, that's [ __ ] amazing. I, I think you highlighted perfectly that, you know, whether it's sex, whether it's your weight, whether it's both, whether it's whatever, we, we do like expand and contract. And I don't mean that literally, but I do mean that whatever, like mentally, we sort of go to places that are like, this is crazy. And then we come back. And that's what, what life is. And nobody looks amazing and feels amazing 100% of the time. So I really [ __ ] appreciate you coming, getting wild, but also providing an extreme amount of value. Tatum Zoe. Uh, remind them, remind them where they can find you. They can find the show. They can follow you on socials. Okay. Um, it's Girl Stop Talking. If you're watching, you can see the neon sign. I also, this is my merch. It's going to be launching soon. So you can find my podcast, Girl Stop Talking Podcast, on Instagram, on YouTube. Um, my personal Instagram is Tatum Zoey with three E's. And yeah, I'm gonna, I have to do some updates and stuff with my show, but I'm gonna be posting all of my videos on YouTube very soon. I think I only have three up right now. And I've made a commitment to myself that starting April 6th, which is will be my three years of podcasting, this is going to be my first consistent year. I'm going to start dropping, um, weekly episodes, which actually you guys are the first to hear. So you'll have to come follow me and and listen to more [ __ ]. Yeah.
Well, thank you for being here again. You know, you'll be back, so we'll have to plan that. But, uh, thank you so much. I, I appreciate it. And then really quick, to, you're going to be on my podcast also. So we recorded, we recorded that. Dustin will be over there. We're talking, what did we even talk about? Gifting and da. It was a good [ __ ] episode. I had a lot of fun and I feel like we went to a place. Yeah, it was really fun. Um, I'm not sure on the date just yet, but probably within the next four to six weeks, it's going to be coming out. So yeah. And we will promote the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of it. So just, you know, everybody. Very exciting. We will. I will shove it down their throats consensually, not like that. That's not what I, that's not what I meant. But thank you for having me on again, by the way. Like, I really appreciate it. You've been a big inspiration in in me following through with a lot of my show. So I really do appreciate.
Yeah, of course. So that means a [ __ ] ton to me. Thank you for real. And you have an open door policy, so you're welcome here anytime. And I already have another, another idea. So get ready for that. All right. We'll catch you soon. Okay. All right. Bye. I told you guys it was a good one. Big thank you to my guest, Tatum Zoe, for being with me again on Sex Party. Make sure you go check out her podcast, Girl Stop Talking. Go follow her on socials, all of the things, right? If you guys are loving guests like Tatum, you want to see Tatum again, we will be collabing again soon. Uh, and you're listening to this on platforms like Apple, Spotify, Google, iHeart, whatever, right? How can you show some love, some appreciation, some desire for more Sex Party? You need more Sex Party in your life. What can you do? Well, you could leave a rating. You could leave a review. Those are wonderful. I appreciate those. But what you really want to do is click that subscribe button. Become a subscriber. That way you never miss a new episode. Every single Wednesday. If you're watching on YouTube, which of the Ninja Turtles is your favorite? Or is it April O'Neil? Or or Splinter, right? Let me know in the comments. If you're watching this on YouTube, I love you. I see you. I appreciate you. If you're watching on YouTube, you can like this video, all the videos. You can leave a comment. But again, what you really want to do is subscribe to the channel. That way you never miss a new episode. Every single Wednesday. You guys, I'm available in the DMs on Instagram anytime. And I will see you all right back here next week. Thanks for listening. The party continues next week. Click subscribe and let's make this a regular thing. Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter at SexParty FM. Follow Dustin at Dustin [Music] Ripka.