Transcription
I'm not a professional at being unbothered. I don't even know if that's a thing, but it's definitely a goal of mine. It's a goal of mine to be completely and utterly unbothered, calm, and confident. So, I want to share with you what I've basically learned over this past year because this past year has been the most that I've been poked at in my entire life. And what I mean by poked at is people trying to get into my life, people trying to make me feel insecure, people trying to question me, get a getting reactions out of me, really poking at me. And I think that you really need a hard shell when it comes to expressing yourself. And I'm a very expressionable person. I feel like throughout my entire life, I've always been or I've always tried to at least be the first reaction in a room. And I think that's what confidence really truly means.
When you are acknowledging the present, you're acknowledging everything that's happening in the present. You're acknowledging everyone in the present. And it creates this energy of being unbothered by anybody. Honestly, it creates a calm feeling of safety because if you think about it, our intuition, our natural instinct is to observe where we are and to detect danger. And I think that true true confident people are detecting danger everywhere they go. And it's not in a version of being in survival mode, but it's in a version of acknowledging where they are, acknowledging what they're doing, and having a goal. Because a confident person has a goal. Where an insecure person who is bothered by people, bothered by danger, is not necessarily reacting first. They're waiting for other people to react. They're waiting for another person to speak their mind because they're scared. They're too scared to. They're not calm. If anything, they are full of anxiety and they are looking for a way out. They're not looking for a way to fight because that's another instinct that we have is fight or flight. And confident people fight. And insecure people either freeze or flight. And I feel like I've always tried to be this confident person in my life. And to this day, to this day, it has been a challenge to be completely unbothered. Completely.
You know, I've I've witnessed so much in my life of bullying, okay? Bullying and people saying things under their breath and just outright being excluded from things. And I'm not trying to make something that's like a sob story like, oh, feel for me. No. But that's how confidence arises. Confidence, true confidence is created through feeling down, feeling insecure, feeling like bad about yourself. You have to choose to be happy. That's a choice. And as soon as you choose to be happy, that's when you are calm. That's when you can accept your situation whether something bad is happening or not. The confident people. If you think about it, okay, let's say, let's say, oh my gosh, we are in a bank, right? We're in a g we're in a bank. There's a group of people all just waiting in line and something silly happens like something I don't know, like a little baby is like running across the room and making a big fuss, right? Just making loud noises. They're not being they're not throwing a tantrum or anything. and they're just like, "Ah, la." A confident person is going to make a joke of that and make it a fun, happier environment, whereas insecure people are going to just ignore it. Does that make sense? I mean, I know the example is not so grand. It's not so like it's very specific, but a confident person is going to laugh and be like, "Oh my gosh, haha, they're having the time of their lives. I remember when we were that age, blah blah blah." you know, like just being confident in the situation, understanding what's happening and making light of it because they understand where other people are at in the room. Confident people are very observant, but they're not observant observant enough to be mute about it. They're going to say something. They're going to acknowledge it. And that's what I've tried to do and I still try to do to this day is to be acknowledgeable. Right?
If you are starting a job for the first time and you're just walking around and you're being trained, you're not just going to be mute, right? Being mute when you are new somewhere is a sign of insecurity. It's a sign of weakness. It's a sign of you don't know what you're doing. You don't know where you're at. But a confident person is acknowledging everything, everything. When you are new somewhere, that is when you need to be the most confident. That's when you need to express confidence because you're new. You need to acknowledge everything. You need to notice everything and it's a safety mechanism. If you're not acknowledging everything, then the next day you're going to still be lost and that's not good. So, when you're walking in somewhere, introduce yourself to people. Be the first one to introduce yourself. I think that's a big key to confidence is being the first one to be like, "Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Kira, you know, and give someone else the chance to introduce themselves. Most people are too prideful to feel like they want to introduce themselves. Most people are like, "Oh, they can introduce themselves to me." When in reality, the first person introducing themselves, oops, my light just went out. The first person introducing themselves is the confident one. The one who is owning their name, right? If you own your name, you're going to introduce yourself. Hi, I'm Kira. and you're gonna basically dominate the space by introducing yourself first and kind of making them feel stupid because their initial thought was, "Oh, I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing. I'll let them introduce themselves to me." But then when you do introduce yourself, when you create that interaction, it makes them feel stupid like, "Dang, maybe I should have said that. Maybe I should have done it first because now it's like this new person is dominating the space." That was a better example than the bank one. Okay. So, introducing yourself is a key example of being confident and being calm. Being calm and unbothered because if you are sitting there just acknowledging the fact that you're new, just acknowledging the fact that you don't know anyone. That's all you're going to be focused on. That's all you're going to be. That's your perspective. Your perspective is, "Oh, you're new. You're insecure. You don't know anything." Blah blah blah. No one's going to take you serious. No one's going to even think that you want this job. But that's just an example.
And I think being unbothered is probably the biggest one for me. And not letting other people affect me, not letting other people ruin my train of thoughts because that happens a lot too, right? There's people that will literally that will deliberately deliberately try to get into your life, try to text you, try to call you, right? Just to manipulate your train of thought, try to get you out of focus, try to get you mad, try to get a reaction out of you. And I've learned that these people are the loudest. These people are so scared to lose their image that they will do anything to basically get under someone else's skin and they thrive off of other people's reactions. Their energy thrives off of other people and not themselves. So, I've learned that being silent, you know, not responding, kind of giving myself time to understand why people might be bothering me, might people might be poking at me. It gives me control of the situation because the reason why someone might be poking at you, the reason someone is trying to get a reaction out of you is because they think that you are better than them. Simple as that. Anyone who is confident in themselves wants to see other people win. They want to see other people thrive, be happy, right? They're not questioning others. If they're questioning someone, they're questioning them out of a a way of trying to make them better and not why are you doing this? You shouldn't be doing it like this. No, they're doing it in a way that's hey, maybe maybe this would be better. I think I I do it in this way. Maybe try it this way. Hey, if it doesn't work for you, you know, I just wanted to see if it, you know, makes you your life better or whatever. But when someone is poking at you, that is when you question yourself. That is when you're like, wait, I can't make everyone happy. No, your job isn't to make anyone happy. Your job is to make yourself happy. And this is key reminders to not only myself, but to everyone that happiness is a choice. And so when you choose to be unbothered, you are making a choice to be happy. And it sounds simple. It sounds simple. It's easier said than done. But when you do it over a course of repetition and while people really try to manipulate your story as well, you know, there's a lot of people in this world that try to manipulate someone's situation or someone's image and it's not fair. But life is not fair and we have to learn to just kick it to the curb. You know, don't let someone else's energy, someone else's vibe be your vibe. They can't do that. That's only their perspective. And that's something I have to remind myself that my energy is mine and whatever I put out into the world is what I also receive. So karma is real. I believe in karma. So, if you believe in karma, you got nothing to worry about, honestly, because I know karma has my back. It it has had my back multiple times before. And silence is a response. It's not a weakness. It's a response and it's power when it's accumulated in the right way. So, I hope this helps you. It's actually have it's helped me being more unbothered. And yeah, I think there's a lot of people in this world that would love to make your life living hell. And we're not going to do that. We're not going to let these people win. We're not going to let these witches or these wizards, these people that do manipulation magic, right? Because it's magic. It's not seeable. But if they can attain it, they will let their spell rip on you. So, don't be bothered. Be calm and confident. Thank you, and I'll see you later.