Transcription
Once, I also thought of ending it all.
It was because seagulls cried mournfully at the pier,
Rising and falling with the waves, disappearing.
May they carry my past away with them as they fly.
Once, I also thought of ending it all.
It was because apricot blossoms bloomed on my birthday.
If I were to fall asleep like this under the sunlight filtering through the trees,
Would I, along with the remains of insects, turn to dust?
Mint candies,
The lighthouse of the fishing port,
The rusty arch bridge,
The abandoned bicycle.
Standing still before the stove in the wooden station,
Yet my heart has no desire to go anywhere.
Today is the same as yesterday.
If I want to change tomorrow, I must first change today.
I know this. I know it all.
But...
Once, I also thought of ending it all.
It was because my heart was hollowed out.
I cried from feeling empty.
It must be because I longed to be filled.
Once, I also thought of ending it all.
It was because my shoelaces came untied.
Just as I am not good at tying knots again,
I am also not good at connecting with people.
Once, I also thought of ending it all.
It was because a boy was looking at me.
Kneeling with my head bowed on the bed,
He said, "I'm sorry," to the me of that day.
The faint glow of the computer screen,
The sounds of life from the room upstairs,
The ringing of the internal phone.
The boy in the birdcage covering his ears,
Fighting an unseen enemy.
Like Don Quixote in a three-tatami room.
After all, the ending is bound to be ugly.
Once, I also thought of ending it all.
It was because others called me cold and heartless.
I cried because I yearned to be loved.
It was because I understood human warmth.
Once, I also thought of ending it all.
It was because of your brilliant smile.
My mind was filled with thoughts of death.
It must be because I was too serious about living.
Once, I also thought of ending it all.
It was because I hadn't met you yet.
A person like you being born into this world,
Made me like this world a little.
A person like you existing in this world,
Gave me a little hope for this world.