Transcription
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey.
Habit number one, proactivity.
Several years ago, I was meeting with two of my former colleagues from an internship program that I attended when I was a student. All three of us worked in the same department and afterwards we became regular employees. I left the company after a few months, but they stayed. Since we didn't meet each other for several years, we started to talk about the good old days, the family, what we're doing now, etc.
I learned that one year later after I left the company, one of them also left. And when I asked the reason, he explained that he worked hard, but management didn't appreciate it. He wanted a higher salary, but the company always responded by saying that we don't have a budget. So, he improved his skills and moved to an even better company. He said that it was great that they did not increase his salary. Otherwise, he would have stayed there and had not gotten the great position and salary that he has now.
When he finished talking, the second guy also started to talk negative things about the company and said similar things about management and salaries. However, compared to the first one, he was still working in the same company. He said that management hadn't changed much and that they still weren't appreciating employees and that they were not willing to increase salaries. And that's why his salary and position hadn't changed much. He blamed the company culture, management, bad working environment, etc.
If you've noticed, both of these guys gave the same reasons for their current situation in life. One moved on to a different company and got a better salary because of bad management and low salaries, and another one used the same reasons for not getting a higher salary and promotion. The author says that there are two types of people in life. Reactive and proactive people.
Reactive people are like the second colleague who stayed in the same company. These types of people always focus on things that they can't change or control. They always complain about the economy, inflation, management, bad company culture, low salaries, etc. They use these reasons as justification for not being successful.
On the other hand, proactive people don't spend their limited energy on things that they can't change. They understand that they can't change the company, but they can learn new skills and move to a different company. They always focus on things that they can change. So, the first habit of highly successful people is being proactive.
Habit two, begin with an end in mind.
Imagine you're attending a funeral. When you arrive at the place, you see the sad faces of friends and relatives and you accompany them in their pain. However, when you approach the coffin, you realize that the one inside is you. Actually, this is your own funeral that will take place in 3 years. Then you start listening to what friends, co-workers, and family say about you. How would you like to be remembered? Think about how you want your life to be during those last 3 years of your life. What kind of friend would you like to be? What kind of boss? What kind of husband or wife, father or mother do you hope to be? What achievements do you want people to remember about you? How would you like to influence the lives of the people around you?
The second habit is to start by having a clear idea about your destination, goal, or objective. This habit involves reflecting on whether each of your daily acts are compatible with the goal you want to achieve. When you have the end goal in mind, then it becomes easier to say no to the things that do not get you closer to your end goal.
Unfortunately, many of us fail at this and our daily actions do not match with our end goals. For example, if your goal is to learn a new skill after work so you can get a promotion, then why are you going out for a beer with your friend every day instead of educating yourself? If your goal is to become a better parent, then why are you watching TV while your kid asks you questions and tries to play with you? If your goal is to create a business so that you can quit your job one day, then why are you spending your free time watching TV?
If you look at your goals and compare it with your daily actions, you will be amazed to see how many things that you do that have nothing to do with your goals. You will be amazed to see how much time you spend with people who have nothing to do with your goals. If you don't believe me, just take a piece of paper and on the left side write down your goals. And on the right side, write down all the things you do within a day, such as people you meet, projects you work on, YouTube channels you watch, etc. If you do this for one week, you will easily see how most of your daily actions have nothing to do with your goals, but you still keep doing them anyway.
Habit three, prioritize.
Many people's priorities are family, starting a business, educating their children, but none of their actions have that direction. For example, you cannot spend quality time with your family if you have a strenuous workday and you use your free time to watch the entire season of your favorite Netflix series.
As a tool to establish priorities, the author shows the time management matrix in the book. This matrix can help you separate the important from the urgent. In quadrant 1, the urgent and important are matters that have a deadline, things that require immediate action. For example, if you have to deliver an order requested by your client with the deadline, you write this task in quadrant 1.
In quadrant 2, what is not urgent but important are matters related to your personal and professional development, the achievement of your macro objectives, activities that will help you execute your life plan. For example, if you must attend a graphic design course that day, do 30 minutes of exercises or continue reading a finance book, write those activities in quadrant 2.
In quadrant 3, the urgent but not important are all those frequent interruptions of each day. For example, phone calls, messages on WhatsApp or messenger, and unimportant social meetings. Finally, in quadrant 4 are matters of little importance or urgency such as leisure time and entertainment.
Many people remain stuck in quadrant 3 thinking that it is quadrant 1 and others waste valuable time of their life playing on their phone. But highly effective people focus on quadrant 2, the not urgent but important.
Habit four, win-win.
The author tells that he has the experience of working for the president of a company who had a very common problem. Employees did not cooperate with each other, did not work as a team, had conflicting relationships and defensive attitudes. As a result, the team's performance was poor. The president asked the author for help, who asked in return, "Is there some kind of reward for not cooperating?" The president said, "There is no reward for not cooperating, and the reward for cooperating is great." The president was trying to motivate employees by awarding a trip to Bermuda. Which one of you will win a trip to Bermuda? He said the president's intentions to encourage cooperation were of no use when what he was actually doing was inducing employees to compete with each other. So their attitude was only a logical consequence of the flawed paradigm that the president used to motivate in which the result would be that some would win and others would lose.
The win-win is creating agreements that seek mutual benefit. This is a cooperative not a competitive paradigm. When a person thinks of win-win, he knows that success is not achieved at the expense of other people. In other word, for me to win, you don't have to lose. For example, let's say you also have a YouTube channel where you summarize books. I check your channel and see that you have good content. So, I recommend your channel to my subscribers. Suddenly, you get thousands of new subscribers and decide to check out my channel. You also see that I have good content and decide to recommend my channel to your subscribers. As a result, I also get thousands of new subscribers. This is a win-win. Both of us get new subscribers. Plus, our audiences discover new videos.
Habit five, seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Imagine that you have vision problems and you go to the ophthalmologist. You tell the doctor your problem and he just gives you glasses and asks you to wear them. But when using them, you realize that they don't work for you and you tell the doctor. But he insists, "Sure, they work. They work for me. Try harder." However, despite your efforts, you still see blurry. So you insist. And the doctor only says, "What is wrong with you? You must think positively." In this way, the problem is not solved. Would you go back to that ophthalmologist? Personally, I wouldn't go back to a doctor who doesn't diagnose before prescribing.
This is also the case during communication between people. We usually prescribe without diagnosing. During conversations, without listening carefully. To interact effectively with others, we must understand. And to understand, empathic listening is required. Many misunderstandings occur while talking on the phone or texting.
Communication experts estimate that words are only 10% of everything we communicate. 30% corresponds to tone and other sounds. And 60% we communicate through body language. The next time you really want to understand another person, you should not only listen to them with your ears, but also with your heart. It's not just about hearing the words spoken, but also observing the emotions expressed. When you empathically listen, the result will be an improvement in your interactions with your friends, your boss, or your colleagues.
Habit six, synergize.
When birds fly in groups to travel long distances, they often use a V formation. Scientists have analyzed birds in flight when they use this formation and have found that the V formation helps the birds behind to take advantage of the current of the air created by the birds in front with the movement of their wings. Scientists have observed that even they synchronize their movements and alternate positions during flight. This is just one example from nature that shows how cooperation enables us to achieve results effectively.
Successful people are very good at creating synergies. They understand that time is limited and they can't be good at everything. For example, if you need animation like the one you see right now, you can either spend many hours learning how to do it yourself or you can find a way to involve me into your project and I would create animations for you. If you can do this in a way that it would benefit both of us, then it would be a great example of synergy.
Another real-life example to synergy is the relationship between Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. Wozniak was a great engineer and Steve Jobs was a great salesperson. The synergy of these two people led to the creation of Apple. If they worked individually, maybe we wouldn't have Apple today. We're all different. We all have different capacities and different ways of perceiving the same reality. This might seem like a weakness if we analyze it individually, but when we do it collectively, it becomes a strength.
Habit seven, sharpen the saw.
One day, a man was cutting a tree and his neighbor approached and said that his saw looked quite blunt and if he sharpened it, he could cut the tree much faster. And the man responded, "I don't have time for it." You might laugh at this man for not spending time sharpening a saw, but the truth is that most of us are exactly like him. We want to be healthy, but we don't spend 30 minutes every day for exercise. We want to be smart, but we don't spend 20 minutes reading. We want a great family, but we don't spend quality time with our kids and partner. We want to be focused and relaxed, but we don't take 10 minutes every day to meditate. We want to be excited about our work on Monday, but we don't take proper rest during the weekend.
For a long time, I failed to sharpen my saw. I would work the whole week plus the weekends. I was thinking that I was doing great and I was being productive since I was working every day. But in reality, I was always feeling tired, was making a lot of mistakes. And worst of all, I was getting sick very often. I was thinking that by working weekends, I was gaining two extra days. But the truth is that I was getting sick so often that I was spending many more days in bed or I was getting so tired that I couldn't produce anything valuable. Those two days I was gaining from weekends were soon being erased by sick days or unproductive days. I learned the hard way that rest days are as important as your normal working days. As you plan your working days, you must also plan your rest days in advance.
We are all in a hurry and we all want to get a lot of things done and that's why we push our body to its limits and forget to sharpen the saw. Our body has its limits and when you reach them, your body says, "You know what? I'm not playing it anymore. Go to hell."
I had a friend who worked hard for a company in an office sitting in front of a computer. His boss always complimented him because my friend was one of the most productive workers in the company. As time passed, my friend gained weight and his health deteriorated. His absenteeism increased and his productivity decreased. His boss recommended that he start a daily routine of physical exercise, but he replied, "I don't have time to exercise." This continued until my friend lost his job and lost his health. This is an example of how focusing on what is urgent makes us unable to deal with what is truly important.
Sharpening the saw means managing the resources you have to achieve your goals. And the main resources you have are your body and your mind. Properly distributing your time throughout the day to attend not only to the urgent but also to the important will help you lead a much more balanced life.
Thanks for watching.