Transcription
Welcome back to my channel. [music] Tonight's conversation goes deeper than dating. It's about the future of marriage and family. Kevin Samuels asks a mother of sons a simple but powerful question. How confident are you that when your boys are ready to marry, there will be suitable women for them to choose from? What follows is an uncomfortable but necessary discussion about accountability, preparation, and responsibility within the community. Hit like, subscribe, and make sure you support Kevin Samuel's original channel to help keep his legacy alive.
>> I got a question for you as a mother.
>> Okay.
>> How confident are you that when your boys are of age [music] to marry and have a family that they're going to have suitable women to pick from?
>> Um because I literally [music] drill it in them and then I I try my best. You know, it's very hard because I have four children, but I try my best to carry myself um in the way that I would want them to pick women if I'm
>> Okay. But what I'm saying is I'm not asking about your boys or what you teach them. I'm asking you about how confident are you that they're going to have a a decent crop of suitable women to choose from?
>> Oh, because um
>> Do you think they will or do you think they will not? I think they should. [music] I think they will.
>> Should I?
>> So, you think women So, you think women are training their daughters
>> to be on your son's level?
>> Um, I hope so.
>> No, no, no, no. That's the question I'm asking.
>> The women
>> I'm asking, do you think I think so? I'm Don't answer aspirationally,
>> okay?
>> Cuz this ain't this is a real question. You can train your boys up to be right, but are there women training their daughters to be on your boy's level?
>> So again, I hope they are, but I have I [music] have I am training my children, my boys to know what to look out for. I tell them about the moms. I tell them, "Look at the mom. [music] Peep peep the mom."
>> And
>> Okay, you're training them right. You're still going to your boys.
>> Yes.
>> I'm sticking on the girls. And you say you hope
>> I can't speak for them. I I hope so.
>> What do you see? What do you What do you see when you walk outside with these young girls?
>> Um to be [music] honest, I and I I love all black girls, but to be honest, the ones who you know that I see are into riff raff and they and they look crazy and stuff.
>> So, the answer is no. Why can't y'all just say that? See, even what I'm showing is, listen, even what I'm trying to show you guys is even as a black mother [music] who has black sons, you still have a hard time holding women accountable. You can't even be I've asked a question four. Hold on. No, ma'am. Look in the comments. Stop. Stop. Ma'am, everybody in the comment section, Everybody in the comment section is hearing the question. Women are saying just say no. Every time I ask you how confident are you that you are you confident that you're seeing these women and you say, "I hope so. I hope."
>> Hope is not hope is not yes or no. Hope is not confidence. It's okay. If you want if you were on an airplane and I said, "How confident are you that the plane you're getting on will not crash?" Well, I hope it won't. [laughter]
>> Oh, no. I'm I'm not I'm not very confident about [music] that. I never
>> Thank you. Well, thank thank you. So, so what does that mean? If you're raising your boys to have a standard and you can look around and see that these girls are riff raff or whatever and you're not confident, then who are they going to marry?
>> So, here's the thing. To be honest, I let me be truthful for a second and a lot of people don't agree with me. minute. [music] I I don't think that a lot of women that I know personally that have daughters and people that I hear about that have daughters are raising their daughters to be good good women. They say the most stupidest things I've ever heard like you you need to get with a man is doing this and you need and you he and I'm like well what is she bringing to the table? Who what are you raising?
>> So how who are they going so then who are you going to coach your boys to marry if this is going to be the women they have to pick from? I've co I have a saying when my sister makes fun of me. I told my son I said when you see a girl when you start getting high school you see a girl that you that did you like I said make sure make sure if if everybody has they say free time make sure you talk to the girl that's reading the book.
>> Did you hear did you did you hear the question I asked?
>> I did.
>> That's a general statement about women. [music] How are you going Okay. If you're not confident that women are raising their daughters to be suitable matches, see that's the point. So, here's what it is. See, listen, listen, ma'am. Go back and listen to this sector cuz I think you're not really paying attention, but people in the comments section are listening and you're and you're answering because [music] it just shows that the sister code is so strong that y'all seem to have a problem just being real. The answer is I'm raising my boys, right? And I truly in my heart of hearts hope that the women are raising their their daughters right. But what I see is riff raff and this and that. And I ask you, what about when your boys are of age and they're out of process and it's time and they come around if they're seeing adult women that are saying riff raff what you going to tell them to do? Are you going to tell them to pick from that riff raff? [sighs]
>> No.
>> Then what's the alternative? Keep looking.
>> Keep looking for who?
>> Keep looking for Keep looking for the woman that I that
>> Oh, I got a question for you. Would you be mad if they brought home non-black women?
>> No.
>> Okay.
>> No.
>> And I don't really advocate for that, but because here's here's the problem. Here's the problem.
>> Because she because I told my she [music] she going to come in my house and tell my son. Um, my son was like, "Oh, I wouldn't care if I, you know, I wouldn't care to mar the mar." She was like, "What? Your mother told you that, didn't she? Don't
>> Well, here's the problem.
>> I was like,
>> here's the problem. Here's the problem.
>> My kids anything like that ever.
>> Here's the problem. That you as a mother cannot talk to the mothers of the young girls and tell them anything about raising their daughters. [music] That's the problem. You can raise your son upright, but if the women cannot start talking to women about how they raised their daughters, your sons will have nothing to pick from.
>> So, if they have nothing to pick from from the race, then what are they going to have to do? Go outside of the outside of the African-American community or marry somebody non-black? This is why this whole notion of mind your business for us doesn't work because the boys have to have somebody to pick from. I'm I'm and I'm perfectly fine with that. I'm not racist. I love all people. I am per
>> I would I would rather mothers like you who are raising your sons start talking to mothers or the daughters and say, "Hey, my boys going to have to marry, what you doing with your daughter."
>> Now, you know good and well that we can't that you can't talk to um black women about this.
>> Well, that's Well, then that's the and that's the problem. As long as I don't give a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ]
>> I don't give I don't give a [ __ ] I don't give a I don't I don't I don't I don't give a [ __ ] Dallas is gonna have Nope. You're going to have to Nope. Nope. If the answer is not If the answer is not, you guys got to check them. You can't. It's nobody else's job other than you as their sisters.
>> Yep. Yep. I don't care if they get upset. I don't care. That's why I shut this [ __ ] out because there's going to go into somewhere I'm going to do my business and mind your business. Funk that. It is your responsibility, black women, to check other black women. Look at what she just said. You can't say nothing to them. So, you're afraid to talk to women to share your reflection. Well, they they're not going to listen to us. And we're always talking the women. So, listen to my critics and detractors. [music] You should let the women talk to the women and men got to talk to the men. What the [ __ ] happens every time we ask a black woman to talk to and check a black woman? It ain't my business. It ain't my business. The women do not talk to the black women. They refuse to talk to them. They're afraid to talk to them. So if the women are afraid, the men got to step in. But the men can only do so much. Black women, it is your responsibility to get your sisters in line to raise better daughters for your sons. And if not, do not get mad if she bring home Becky with the good hair. And I appreciate and I and I and here's the thing. And I feel for the for the young mother, the woman there cuz it was just like it was just like the conversation I had about are black women are women and I was talking to the therapist and I said, "Do black women act like they belong to us?" And she just could not answer. And I said, "Well, do white women act like they belong to white men?" "Yes." "Hispanic women act like they belong to Hispanic men?" "Yes." Do Asian women act like they belong to Asian men? Yes. Do Middle East women act like they belong to Middle East men? Yes. Do black women act like they belong to black men? And she finally had she had no one. She had to say no. Black women forget how you feel about what I'm saying. [music] Jar Ali said it. Ian Vanzant said it. How many people have to say you are out of order to where your own sisters who are raising boys [music] do not believe that the girls you're raising are going to be suitable for them and they fear even being able to have a conversation with you on about it. How does that work if the mothers can't have conversation with other mothers? Holy [ __ ] I refuse to give up that way. We have to figure something out. I I I got to do this. Is it enough tonight? Talk to you later. Bye.
This conversation cuts straight to an uncomfortable truth that rarely gets said out loud. You can raise your sons with standards, discipline, and direction. But if those standards aren't being matched on the other side, the problem doesn't fix itself. Hope is not a strategy. Accountability is. What this exchange exposes is a gap between preparation and selection. Men are told to level up, become responsible, and build value. But when it comes time to choose, even mothers of sons aren't confident in what they're seeing around them. That's not an insult. It's an observation. This isn't about blaming or attacking anyone. It's about ownership. Communities don't improve by silence. Families don't get stronger by avoiding hard conversations. If daughters aren't being prepared for partnership, commitment, and cooperation, then sons will eventually look elsewhere or opt [music] out altogether. Ignoring the issue doesn't make it go away. It just shifts the consequences to the next generation. [music] If this discussion made you uncomfortable, that's because it challenges the status quo. Growth requires honesty, even when it's hard.
Next up, we have a 21-year-old woman who says she wants a high value man and believes she's building herself to qualify, but quickly turns into something much bigger. What begins as a discussion about standards, presentation, and self-awareness evolves into a deeper breakdown about entitlement, accountability, and preparation. Kevin Samuels challenges the idea of deserving outcomes without earning them, and questions whether comfort is being mistaken for confidence. Stay locked in because this one goes from personal choices to community level consequences.
>> Hi,
>> shout out to the Bonnet crew. Shout out to the Bonnet crew.
>> How old?
>> So, I've been on here.
>> How old are you?
>> I'm I'll [music] be 21 uh in seven days.
>> Okay. Uh what do you have on the topic?
>> So, on the topic, I agree with you. Um I really think it's like [music] a logic um question, you know, doesn't really I just agree. I don't really have, you know,
>> nothing much to say that to it. Okay. Okay.
>> Um, yeah.
>> But you came on for what?
>> I wanted to have it. It's off of the topic. If that was okay, we could talk discuss.
>> Uh, as long as it's about something I talk about.
>> Okay. Well, you talk a lot about high value men, high value women. My concerns. Um, I would like, you know, your opinion, your insights. I'm very young. I still, well, not very young, but I'm 21.
>> [music]
>> Um, I do live with my mother. I'm planning on, you know, like moving out. Um, I'm [music] I want a high value man and that's what I'm looking for as a female. I feel, you know, I'm building myself for that type of man. But the type of man that I meet, um,
>> why do you want a high value man?
>> Because [music] who I feel, um, I deserve that.
>> You don't deserve anything. Oh, [music] okay.
>> Who are you?
>> Um, Simone.
>> Simone deserves nothing.
>> No one in this world deser Excuse me. What makes you so so special? Do you deserve access to somebody else's stuff?
>> Um, nothing really makes me special to deserve access to anybody's thing but my own.
>> Thank you. So, you don't deserve a high value man. You don't deserve Nobody deserves anything. We earn. How are you going to earn a high value man?
>> By building myself to be a high value woman.
>> Were you raised with your mother and father?
>> Was I raised with my mother and father?
>> Mhm. Were they married?
>> No. My dad was married. I had a stepmother and my um mom I have a stepfather. But
>> any siblings?
>> Yes.
>> That lived with you guys? On my mom's side, I was the only child up until like 20. And then on my dad's side, I had six sisters. And
>> But you But you But you live as an only child. [music]
>> I was back and forth. I would go with my dad's on the summers and I live with like my mom and my grandmother.
>> But you live but you live as an only child. But you live as an only child for the most part.
>> I wouldn't say so because my grandmother raised me and I lived with my aunt who was so No, I wouldn't. I I live I was raised with my aunt. I wasn't really raised by a
>> How many children does your aunt have?
>> How many children does your aunt have?
>> She has [music] one.
>> And how old is that child?
>> Um like three, four.
>> So you were raised as an only child. You lived as an only child. You're 21. That's not enough time. Man, this is not a complicated question.
>> This is starting This is starting to go downhill. Okay. [music]
>> No, don't let it go downhill. Let's
>> No, you're No, I'm just No, no, no. First off, check that. I'm just asking you about your house, your structure. You're you're mother's only child. Your mother had no more kids and there were no other children living in a home. That's an only child. [music] And there's something called only child syndrome. There's something called only child syndrome. What? You You might want to get that under control cuz one more time and that's gone. What was that?
>> What is What? [music]
>> Was there somebody screaming in the background?
>> No.
>> Cuz there's something beeping going on. All right. Only child syndrome. Um but I do have a question for you before I continue.
>> Yes.
>> You're 21. 21. [music] Um, why come on to the program with a bonnet on?
>> Well, honestly, I'm comfortable. I could take my bonnet off. I know there's this whole dilemma with the bonnets and things. I don't even I don't know. I'm comfortable. This is me.
>> Okay. Right. But you want a high value man. And my channel has almost a million subscribers and almost over 700 almost 800,000 on Instagram and it's seen by hundreds of thousands of men, people. 20,000 people in here right now and and you think this is the best look for you for what you want as an outcome.
>> I mean, I've been sitting here watching your live. I could have sat here and combed my hair down and prepared myself, but this is Yeah, I think this is the best. [clears throat]
>> Okay. And Okay. And this is part of the reason why high value men, they care very much about how their women think because they're a representation of them. You come in talking about what you deserve and it really comes down to you. You you you. And as an only child, there's something called only child syndrome. Only children tend to be very selfish. And that's what's kind of showing through right here. It's not cute. and I ask in a nice way and instead of saying, "You know what? [music] You're right. I probably should have excused myself, taken it off, and presented myself in a in a better light because hey, hundreds of thousands of people, 20,000 folks, let's have the conversation. But I'm comfortable. It's all about me." What value is a selfish person in a relationship to anybody, [music] much less a high value man?
>> Thank you. That's a question.
>> Ask it again, please. [music]
>> Chick kick rocks. That's what y'all are raising. [music] That's what you're raising. Entitled, spoiled brats [music] who think they they deserve something. They deserve nothing.
This conversation highlights a reality a lot of people don't want to confront. Standards don't start at marriage. They start with self-awareness, discipline, and accountability. [music] Wanting a high value outcome doesn't mean you're prepared for what that outcome requires. Comfort, entitlement, and self-focus are not substitutes for growth. What really stood out here is the bigger issue beyond one caller. a disconnect between how sons are being raised and how daughters are being prepared. Even mothers of sons admit they're not confident in what their boys will have to choose from. And that silence speaks volumes. Hope is not a plan. Preparation is. [music] And avoiding hard conversations today only creates harder consequences tomorrow. This isn't about blame. It's about honesty. Communities don't improve without accountability. And relationships don't work when responsibility is optional. If this discussion made you uncomfortable, that's probably because it touched something real. Hit like, subscribe, and share your thoughts respectfully in [music] the comments. And as always, support Kevin Samuels's original channel to help preserve his legacy. We'll see you in the next