Transcription
Hey guys, this is Amber with theloveyoung.com and youtube.com thelovegal and lavashonblueprint.com. I am Amber Raquel on Instagram.
Now, if you clicked on this video, then you would like to know more tips on how to become a better girlfriend and a good girlfriend in general. If you were in a relationship right now and want to become a better girlfriend, go ahead and give this video a thumbs up so I'll know that I should give more videos like this. I can give tips all day long on this subject.
Also, any links to my different blog posts, different videos that's going to be similar to this video that you may need to watch too, it's going to be linked in my description box. All you have to do is expand it. If you've never seen my face before, go ahead and hit that subscribe button. I finally have a schedule on when I'm going to be uploading new videos. On Thursdays, I'm going to be dropping new Law of Attraction videos. On Sundays, I'm going to be dropping new videos about love, relationship advice, and that kind of stuff.
Now, let's get into this video because you don't have all day and neither do I. So, the first tip that I am going to give you is make sure you are catering to your partner just as much they are catering to you. Relationships are not 50/50, they are 100/100. If you want a relationship to work, both parties have to be giving their all to make it work. Uh, relationships aren't just cute little Instagram posts and, you know, matching outfits and things that are cute in the public eye. You actually have to work for it. And a lot of times, as women, we kind of focus on what our person is not doing for us and not necessarily what we're doing for them. I'm not speaking on every woman, I know for me, I'm look, I'm a giver, I'm a spoiler, I'm a, I'm a thoughtful individual. Even when people think I'm not paying attention, I'm paying attention. I want to cater to your needs. When you are in a relationship, make sure you are there for your person emotionally, spiritually, mentally, sometimes financially. Sometimes, I'm not saying give your whole paycheck to your person, but it's okay to buy, you know, your person a little, a little something every now and then to show them that you're thinking about them. Be there for them physically sometimes. And I, when I say physically, look, I'm going to keep it G. Ready, sometimes I just may need a hug. Just be there and make sure you're putting in as much effort into the relationship as they are.
My second tip is learn and pay attention to your partner. A lot of us didn't grow up in perfect surroundings, perfect background. So, as an adult, I'm assuming we're all adults, we are reprogramming our minds and relearning stuff. We are healing all at one time. Growing up and trying to love somebody while you are trying to learn how to love yourself can be difficult. But as their partner, try to learn as much as you can about your person as a human being. We tend to focus on what a person is doing instead of why the person is doing it. When you start to pay attention to the why, or finding out the why, you may not be so mad at the what. I'm just gonna give a quick example. If you have a partner who every time you guys get into maybe a disagreement and they shut down and it frustrates you, you're frustrated at the fact that they are not communicating well. Look at it from this point of view. Growing up, nobody ever taught them how to have a real conversation and show emotions. Every time they tried to show emotion, somebody yelled at them, screamed at them, belittled them, told them to be quiet. Learning your person, if you're going to be in a serious relationship, is very important. And the only way to do that is to reassure them that you're not there to judge them. And one thing that is a big no-no, if somebody shares something sacred with you, do not throw it back in their face later on in life because you're mad. That is not okay. But learning your partner, paying attention, and it could be paying attention on a better note, like a lighter note. For example, you see like your person and they're like, "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen one of these in forever," maybe some a candy bar or something like that. And then later on, you surprise them with another one of those candy bars. Something that they mentioned that they love doing as a child. We are all big kids. If you surprise somebody with something that they did as a child that made them happy, watch how they light up. You don't necessarily have to talk about everything that you notice with them. Sometimes it's okay to just pay attention and show them that you were paying attention down the road. I have so many examples for that. Like I said, I'm a naturally thoughtful person. So if somebody tells me something or maybe they tweet about it, I may not even like it or favorite it or nothing like that, but I was like, "Okay, mental note. I got something for them later on, and it's gonna make them happy."
Now, this one can really make you guys understand each other as a couple. I recommend that you guys take the love language test together. Learn their love language. Now, your love language can be, um, touch, quality time, receiving gifts. And there's another one. I'm gonna give a quick example. So, right now, I'm not gonna lie, I'm chilling. I could have been in a relationship. Look, I'm focusing on me right now. But as far as relationships, I'm not, never the one that gets left. I'm an amazing girlfriend. If we break up, it's because there's just not for me. But one thing with my ex, and I had to learn his love language, said a lot about him. His love language was touch. Sometimes I did not want to be touched, okay? But learning that, I was like, "Okay, this is how they express themselves." Okay, for example, at night when it's time to go to bed, what did he want to do? He could just be rubbing on my arm, rubbing on my thigh, spooning. And a lot of times when I want to go to sleep, I want to go to sleep. But at least half the time, I gave him his touching time. Here, well, nothing else, just to touch me. And sometimes it was annoying. But when you understand that that's their love language, you're like, "Okay, it doesn't annoy you as much." Or if you learn that your person just wants, their love language is quality time, that's easy. Go spend time with them and they're gonna be happy. Or reassurance is a love language. If they like notes about how you feel about them, some people, that's their love language. When you learn their love language, it becomes a lot easier on you because you know what the type of things that make them happy. It's not about what you want to do for them to make them happy, it's about what they like. I had to learn that with gift giving. It's not what I wanted them to have, it's about what they wanted. For example, if you want to buy a car for your person and they want a G-Wagon, but you want to get them a Lamborghini, that's not what they wanted. Pay attention to what they want and you'll make them happy. On a lighter note, smaller scale, my baby would look good in green, but they can't stand wearing green. Why would you give them a green sweater? You know what I'm saying? Little stuff like that. And if you hear it, that's my air conditioning, so just bear with me.
Okay, my next tip is nagging and keeping the extra antics to a minimum. All I will say about that, you can say the exact same thing without yelling. You do not have to constantly tell somebody what you want from them. If you tell them once, they heard you. If you have to tell them twice and they still do not do it, they do not care and they will not do it. So you nagging about it, you're just frustrating yourself. You have to make a decision if this person really wants to be with you or not, or do they care about you enough to do certain things that you ask. And the whole answer situation, maybe it's going through their phone. I've never gone through a phone. Everything that has been done in the dark has always come to the light, always, always. I'd have to go through my phone for what, man? When I tell you I'm a spiritual being and it's gonna appear, you ask for a sign and it's gonna be right there in your face. If they are doing something behind your back, it's going to be shown. So all the yelling and they're performing, stop stressing yourself out. Let me break it down like this. If you do not trust them, why are you with them? If you do trust them, why are you doing all that? Plain and simple. When I was in my relationship, when my dude went out, you think I was blowing up their phone 52 times? That's the calling, checking their social medias. They would hear me, "Hey babe, I'm about to go out with the boys." "Okay, have fun, be safe. Let me know when you make it in." Or I would be there when they made it in. "Let me know when you're on your way back." Like I said, if they're doing something about in the dark, it's going to come to the light regardless. You don't have to do all of that. And so watch how peaceful your life gets when you calm down.
Okay, this one is a major one and we forget as women. Thank them for the things that they're doing right. A lot of times we forget to thank our partner for what they do right and what we appreciate them doing. But you know, the first thing we do, we pop off when they do something wrong. No, if you want your partner to do more things right, make them feel appreciated for what they give them the kudos, give them their flowers. If you want them to do more stuff right, and they're going to continue to do stuff right because they continue wanting to hear that they are appreciated. That's how the human mind works. For example, when you're dealing with a little kid and they did something, what do you do? You egg them on. Say they drew like a flower that looks like crap, but you don't want to crush their dreams. It was like, "Oh my goodness, baby, that is an amazing flower. Thank you." I know we're dealing with a dose, but it's the same thing. Trust me, I'm taking math, psychology classes, communication classes. I know how this stuff works. And I'm telling you, if you want your relationship to go a lot better, a lot of people just want to feel appreciated for what they do. And if you do have to critique them, this is what I learned: compliment, critique, compliment.
My next thing is, my next tip is, if you love them, let them know. If you appreciate them, let them know. If you are proud of them, let them know. And I don't care if you told them three months ago, tell them again. If you think they look pretty or handsome, tell them. You think they look nice, tell them. Tell them how much they mean to you. Yes, it's okay to do that. When I tell you, I will, I'm proud of you, my man, to death because a lot of times they don't hear that. Both of you are supposed to be each other's cheerleader. Support their dreams. I'm not saying if they want to be the biggest drug dealer or, I'm not saying that, support their legal dreams. I've heard so many relationships end because a partner wants to do this and then the other one is tearing them down. This is my little recipe. If they have a dumb idea, it's gonna crash and burn anyway. You ain't gotta be that person. Let them know it's gonna crash and burn. That is going to cause turmoil in your household. If it ain't gonna work, it's not gonna work anyway. You ain't gonna be that person. Now, I will say sometimes, especially with men, they have, they have a goal, they just need a vision. Women, we have the vision, we can see things out and make things go way smoother. We could make their idea way better just because of how the way we think. I'm not saying you have to go in one form. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying is that your support will mean everything to your person.
Today was Relationship Sunday. If you found any of this information useful or you agree with any of this, go ahead and give this video a like. It will help me out a lot.