Transcription
Welcome everybody. So I'm really excited you're all here today. Tori and I are going to be co-facilitating this group, and I just hope it's a place that's safe for us all to come and gather and kind of just share our different experiences. So I just really hope that you're excited to be here, as excited as Tori and I are, and hope we have a good time.
So just to start off, uh, I just want to tell you the purpose of our group. Basically, our purpose is to equip and empower all of us, uh, all students. And we're going to equip you all to empower and deal with your, empower you to deal with your stress in some really practical ways. And just to start off, like I said, this is a safe place. So we're just going to kind of talk about confidentiality for a second. And confidentiality is basically just where what kind of happens in this room stays in this room. This is a safe place, like I said, and this is a place where we can all just kind of gather, kind of share our different struggles and concerns, fears, worries, and kind of just talk about it, and it's not going to leave this place. So I encourage you all to not tell anybody about what you talk about in this place, not gossip about each other. And we're not going to be telling anybody about what you guys talk about in this place as well. Uh, with that being said, though, obviously, if somebody mentioned something about hurting themselves or hurting others, or any kind of ideas around possibly doing that, that's kind of where we're going to talk to our supervisors and just make sure that everybody's safe and that everything is good and we're kind of growing and progressing in that. So that's just kind of what this group's about. We're just going to be dealing with our stress and we're going to be helping you in a lot of cool ways. So I'm glad you're here.
So with that, I want to open it up to the group. What are some rules or some guidelines that we would like for all of us to follow? I know for me personally, like Jake was talking about, I don't want what I talk about in here to go outside of this room. So let's just think of a few um guidelines or if you want to call them rules that are some things that we want to guide our group through this time. Does anybody want to start?
Um, I think that respect should really be a big one because I don't want to be made fun of if somebody else handles something a little bit better than I've been handling lately. And your name was Alison.
Alison, think you should.
Um, I think that we should all come like frequently to the group. I don't think we should just skip out without a reason. Attendance is mandatory, possibly. Okay. Does that sound good to everybody? And your name was Shannon.
Shannon and Alison. And I'm Leah. And I think you should be on time because I hate when people are late and they interrupt what I'm doing and stuff. So. So attendance on time and respect. Confidentiality. Is there anything else in our group that we think could go with that?
Everyone should have to share. Share. Those are good ones. Up. Participation in all aspects. It's really good. You share. And I, I don't want somebody else's same. So that's good. Even if it's just encouragement, that's really good.
So we're going to go ahead and let Jake do our game. Yeah. So we're going to kind of start off with a really fun icebreaker. So we're all here because we kind of have stress and you're all dealing with stress in some different ways. So we're going to do what we like to call the net or network of ways to deal with stress or network of strengths. And this is really fun. We're just kind of going to go around. You can kind of popcorn however you want, and we're going to use a string to make our net. And basically, you're going to share some way you cope with stress, something that helps you like de-stress, um, or something you do to help prevent stress. And then we'll kind of take note of these in our minds and we'll remember some really practical ways to decrease stress as we're kind of going through this week too. And it's just a really fun way to kind of get a nice breaker started. So I'm going to kind of start. Um, something I like to do to prevent stress, especially when I was in college and stuff, is just to make sure that I plan ahead. The five Ps of, you know, planning ahead for me are prior planning prevents poor performance. And I think that's just a really good way to prevent stress. So that's mine. I'm throwing over to Alison, and you can just again, say your name real quick.
Um, I'm Alison. Um, one of the things that I like to do with my friends, like get off campus and we like to go off and get something to eat and kind of just forget about all of our, do assignments and all of that and just kind of take a like a good hour or so to just kind of catch up and actually just talk and have good conversation.
That's awesome. Yeah, thanks for sharing. So just throw the string. And as we kind of go around, you'll see a net starting to form, which is kind of fun.
Okay, so I'm Shannon again. And, um, kind of similar to what Alison says, I like to go to the coffee shop my roommate works at because it's just easy to get some coffee, coffee, do a little bit of homework, and it's more relaxing than just sitting in my room and doing it. Thanks for [Laughter] sharing.
You, I forgot. Way that I do is just I like to work out and I feel like it's like a nice release and it's also healthy for me, so it's beneficial. Thanks for sharing.
Um, one way that I like to stress. It sounds like you guys all like to go somewhere. I actually like to stay home in my room and I have Christmas lights that I like to light. They light and I call my grandma and just get everything off my chest because, yeah, so kind of talk through my problems of what's going on.
Got another one. Something that helps me distress when I have time, maybe like on a break or at the end of the semester, is just to go on like a really short weekend trip or something and just kind of clear my mind. That's really helpful.
Okay. Um, I like to keep a calendar. That helps me distress. If I just know everything that I have going on in the near future, it really helps. We have like a whiteboard that we write a calendar on. So I'll try to.
Another way I like to be shared is I like to talk to my mom. Like she helps me like, I don't know, to process things and to like strategize like what's important, what can you wait, and all that. Having a support system. That's good.
Um, kind of piggybacking off of yours and Tori's, I like to, uh, call my family back home because I'm kind of far away. So being able to like, kind of talk to them and just kind of tell them everything that's going on, or not even like school and stuff, but just like everything that's going on with life, just kind of helps me relax and take everything in and just, you know, take a deep breath and realize like my mom will like let me know like, I can do this, like you're fine, like just settle down.
Sounds like your family's a good support network. They are. So my second one is kind of like what Shannon said. I like to organize everything. So I color code everything, put everything in a planner, write it on sticky notes, tell people about it, have reminders everywhere for everything. So I like to be very organized. So I can.
Checklist to my friends. Che. So has everybody gone twice, right? This is good. So yeah, just kind of look at the string and think about all the different ways that you could be thinking of possible opportunities to decrease your stress or just kind of feel a little more relaxed this week. So yeah. Yeah, thanks for sharing, guys.
All right, so with that, we're going to go ahead and open it up. Um, we're going to, like we talked about, we're talking about some stress. So let's go ahead and just go around the room and kind of just really open it up for some things that have been stressing us out this week, some things that have been on our mind, something that's weighing us down as we're going through this. I'm sure you thought of something that's really like burdening you. So let's just go ahead and open it up.
Um, I can start. Um, we have some big assignments that are coming up that I do. So having to, um, just sit for a while and reorganize everything just kind of been stressful to, um, see how many things are on my to-do list. Um, I just sat today and just reorganized everything, put it all in my planner, color-coded it, make sticky notes, whole punch everything, put it where it goes. So working on organization was stressing me out. I've dealt with a little bit, but just now seeing how much I have to do in the next few weeks, that's really getting to me. So that's.
Someone else wants to share?
Um, one of my biggest things is time management. It's really hard because I'm an athlete. So we're doing a lot of traveling. And since we're a spring sport, it's, um, it really conflicts with a lot of scheduling and classes and stuff because of the inclement weather, like everything gets rescheduled and we're trying to put all these games in like the matter of like three weeks. And it's really stressful, just, you know, like I'm missing class. Like I don't think I've been to one of my major classes in literally a month. I haven't been there. And all of a sudden, like I'm missing like, oh my gosh, we have these assignments due and we have these assignments due. And then all of a sudden I have to make up a test that I'm going to miss. And I have to schedule beforehand. And then I have another quiz and all these other papers. And it's really starting to get to me because, you know, being an athlete, you have to figure out how to, um, what's the word, like you have to figure out how to balance everything. So you have to like, kind of think ahead and start like, okay, like I'm going to miss this test, so I have to try to make it on this day. Plot twist, game gets canceled, rescheduled for that day. So you have to reschedule something that's already rescheduled. And so you end up missing that. And then teachers kind of start or professors start kind of getting on your case because you're missing so much class and you're not turning in things like on time, or you're asking for extensions, or you're asking for, you know. And it's really starting to like get a hassle. And with games and everything, like I'm really tired. Like I really don't get back to campus until like I'm living at like 9:00 AM sometimes and I'm not getting back until 1:00 AM with an 8:00 class the next day. And there's literally no time to do homework. And I'm one of those people that get motion, well, not motion sick, but like if I try to read or do homework on like a moving vehicle, like I get sick and I can't do it. And then like this time goes away and I come back and I'm just too tired from doing like from moving, like I'm physically exhausted. And I think I'm just really starting to get to the point where I'm mentally tired and my tolerance and everything is just going downhill from like here on out. And I'm stressing out because big things are being due and I have to find out how to literally do all of them in the matter of days. I'm sure we all have something that can really impact.
Alison, we really thank you for sharing. We really thank you for the time that you have taken out to come here with us because like you said, your schedule's so busy. So thank you for committing to this time and coming to share and actually get something out of it. I really appreciate it.
Anybody else want to share?
Well, um, this semester I had something changed with me personally. Like I, last semester I was able to see completely and didn't have any issues. And then, and like the day after our last final, I went and got a minor surgery. And when I woke up from my surgery, I didn't have vision. So like I've been having to deal with losing my vision, not working, figuring out if I'll ever get my complete vision back, will this ever happen again? And on top of that, like I've become almost like a burden because like I can't do a lot of things for myself. So I have to depend on other people to assist me. And that stresses me out because I was raised to be very independent. And now I'm having to be dependent. And I guess it's beneficial because it's teaching me how to need someone, but I don't like needing people. And that's just really hard for me. And now with assignments and everything, it's really hard because now I used to be able to write a whole paper in a night. Now I have to plan three or four nights ahead of time. Or like I'm doing something on the computer in class and everyone else is done and I'm still trying to figure out what key they hit. And so it's just really stressful, like the unknown. And, um, like no one's really giving me any answers. And it's scary at the same time. I just don't know like where to go. And then I have some people, like they're like, oh, you just got to have to be faithful and stuff. And it's like, I've been faithful since the beginning, but how faithful do you want me to be? And at what point do I get to where I'm wrong for being frustrated and tired of waiting? And so it's just really hard. So it's like a challenge between my faith and it all. So just hard.
Thanks for sharing. Really appreciate you being here and sharing with everybody. And know, like I said about Alison, we all have something to learn from you and us, you from us. So really thank you for sharing that. That has to be hard physically and mentally, like you said, dealing with your eyesight being gone and having to work through everything. Like you said, it has slowed you down, but knowing that you're still taking steps to work towards achievements, awesome. We're so thankful that you're here to share with us. Thank you.
I think what's been like the most stressful thing for me this semester is that I've had two close family members pass away. And, um, kind of like with school, I've been busy and there's always people, like my roommates are always there. And so I can put it on the back burner, like my, my grief just goes away for a little bit. And I'm really stressed out about going home and dealing with it because I know like I'm going to go home and I spent a, like especially in the first month because I nanny, so the kids I nanny are still in school, so I don't have a lot going on the first month. And so I know like I'm going to have a lot of time to just think and I'm really not looking forward to that. And it's been stressing me out because like the closer we get to finals, the closer I get to going home. And like I want to go home and I want to spend time with my family, but I also would like to just not think about the grief and everything that comes from being home. So thank you for sharing the hard. We're so thankful that you're here. Like I said, for the both of them, we can learn something from you and hopefully you can learn something from us. We really, really appreciate you sharing.
Yeah, I mean, it sounds like obviously everyone's going through a lot and it's kind of starting to wear on people and be really burdensome. But you guys are here and you guys are starting to make some practical steps towards really starting to handle that stress and deal with that. So I think that's really good. Um, that's definitely a strength. Mod you guys that you're trying to make an effort. That we're all very committed ladies who want to not be stressed and kind of just start moving forward. So I think that's good. So like we said, our common theme or our pretty much our purpose for the group is dealing with our stress. We all have stress. So we've talked about some like plan or organization. We've talked about thinking ahead. And we thought about, um, the stigmas that's been put on you to hold you back, but dealing with the planning ahead. So a lot of it sounds like, like that we have in common is time management. So kind of like you've said, the time that you have when you go back home, like what am I going to do with this time? So, um, that's really good for you sharing and thank you guys. We really do appreciate it. And I think too, um, with Leah, how she was sharing how she said that she's had the time that she has to think about those things that it does take me three days now to write a one-page paper instead of the one day. So really thinking forward and thinking ahead. And how Alison has to plan for, oh, this is going to happen or this is going to come up, so I have to plan this. And then, like you said, reschedule and reschedule. And it's like, it, like Jake said, it is wearing on everybody. So being here to deal with that is awesome. And I really think one thing that sounded like a common thread, you guys can chime in if you want, but it really sounded like time management and figuring out, not even, it's kind of like relaxed time management, maybe for you and a little bit more for you and even heavier for you. So like actually thinking through, like what am I going to do when I go home? What are some things that I could do to figure out? Yeah, that's awesome that you guys are here and sharing. Do you see that bird? It's like a really pretty bird. Wow. And like I can't see it good, but like the color reminds me of Alison's shoes, dude. These like, so that bird, I think it is actually. I think it is a blue jay. Um, but you know, maybe we can, you know, let's try to redirect everything. Just try to stay focused on our stress for a while. Um, like, like Tori said, time management is an issue. And I know for me, some of the biggest problems with time management is getting distracted. So, you know, let's just try to redirect things and kind of stay on topic. So, like what we were saying, we are kind of talking about time management. So yeah, co-observation. Now, thanks for hearing.
Does anybody want to um, share their testimony of anything of time management or how something that is a strength that you've done that could possibly benefit any of us?
I always at the very beginning of the semester, I go through and I take my syllabus or syllabi and I write like all of the papers and assignments and tests into that. And that way, like I can open my, my planner and like look at the next week and go, okay, I have this paper and this project to do. So I need to like start working on those. And I feel like, yeah, I feel like especially for these two, because they don't have like schedules all is crazy, like if she had something like that, she'd be able to just look ahead and like, okay, so I have to figure out where to fit these assignments in.
Mr. Does anybody else have any ideas?
Um, well, with my situation, like I think it's beneficial because I've always been a procrastinator. So it's teaching me now how to plan ahead and how to make time for things that I need to be doing. So I feel like when I get back to somewhat normal, like it's something that I learned how to do and that I'll be able to continue to do to help myself in the long run.
Aw, find strength in yourself. That's really, really good.
Um, kind of goes off of what Sharon says, like I guess one of the things that like I've learned, knowing how hectic seasons can be and stuff, to kind of look ahead and see what's on my calendar and kind of start worrying about one of these due. Like, am I going to be busy? So I should probably start right now and get them in in advance, just in case, you know, things like this do happen. Realizing that about yourself, it's hard to admit. And we really appreciate it. So thank you guys for all being here.
Doing, do that one more time so we can do our that. Oh, yeah, we can do that one more time. And so for this last, last one, let's think of, we, we all kind of talked about some really good examples, but let's just make up with one more or even better, come up with one idea that we have for time management that we can apply to this week. Obviously, our goal is to deal with stress as a whole in our lives, but we can kind of partializing it up a little bit and just come up with maybe like one easy step this week that we can kind of try to decrease stress a little bit. So we'll just go around once and we'll come up with a really simple net of some plans for this week.
So for time, I'll start with mine. Um, my plan just to decrease stress this week, um, you know, we're all at a Christian school. So for me, I think spirituality is really important. Um, and just kind of like refocusing yourself, um, praying a little bit. I know that kind of just always helps me feel a little bit, um, at ease. So that's kind of my goal for this week.
Um, I think one thing that we all talked about was working on our planners and kind of like Jake said too, um, because I do schedule everything. So I think, um, talking about my own, uh, faith, I feel like I, I want to start digging in more to what God has for my life and what steps I am supposed to be taking. So making those decisions through prayerful actions and that kind of stuff. That's what I'm looking for this week.
Um, I think this week I'll try and work a little bit harder on using my time wisely whenever I have like free time to get something done. I can start working on it in advance to chill myself out a bit. That's. Thanks for sharing.
Um, I think this week I'm going to try to be more positive and not be stuck on the things that I can't do, but look at the things that I have overcome and that I'm not able to do. Um, this week, since the weather is getting nicer, um, I actually have a hike planned. So this would be like the third hike I've been on since the weather's gotten nice. And it really relaxes me. I just love being in nature and seeing like God's creation and everything. So.
Awesome. Well, we all thank you for being here and sharing and opening up. It's hard to open. Um, just let's remember the confidentiality and also let's remember the skills that we learned today to get us through these next few weeks. Thank you all for sharing. We hope to see you again next week.