Transcription
Honestly, bro, I just want to be taken out by like a sniper or like on a date. Surprise me. I want you. I want to get to know you. I like you.
No, you don't.
Yeah, no. Actually, I have four kids. Damn. But now I have zero tolerance for jerks, which means I now have self-esteem. Literally, I am hard to get. It's probably because I stay at home all day and I try not to talk to anybody about anything. So, you ever just get to a point in your life where you're like, the next time I open myself up to somebody, it's going to be my autopsy?
Yeah. If nobody wants to date single moms, how we all got boyfriends? Somebody is lying on his act. Don't women understand that having a boyfriend means absolutely nothing when a man, especially when he knows how much he can lose? He proposes to you, he wants to marry you, then you can prove me wrong. Just because you have a boyfriend, that he gives you the title of boyfriend so he can smash, doesn't mean anything. Yes, you will always find a man that wants to smash. It doesn't matter if you're a single mother or whatever, that doesn't mean anything.
How's your dating life going?
It isn't.
You haven't been on any dates?
No.
Met anybody?
No.
What would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10?
I'm a [Music] 10. You would never need another cuz you a mil. I'm a mother.
All right, it's time to start normalizing single moms dating without their kids being involved because we're not looking for a daddy for them. We're looking for a daddy for us. Moms like me, for example, who had their kids when they were really young. They're teenagers, they're grown. One of them's already moved out of the house, another one's getting ready to. It's really not a factor. We have our own places, we pay our own bills, and we take care of our kids just fine on our own.
I have nothing against this. I can see a lot of men singing, "Oh, well, her kids are grown, they're out of the house, she pays her own bills, she has her own house. Why would I want to date her?" Don't do it, guys. Just think a little bit more about it. Don't do it. It seems like everything is perfect, so why is she still single? She had her kids when she was young. Why is she, why is she still single? If she's so perfect, why no man wanted to marry her? Why? Just think about it. There is something wrong. It's not all what she says. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Otherwise, a man would have married her a long time ago. A long, long time ago. So before you do anything, just think about what I'm saying. Don't be a s, don't be stupid, and just think a little bit more about it. Just think.
When we're dating, we're not looking for someone to come and help us. You didn't have second thoughts. Now you're a single mom. Now you're a single mom. Don't act like you take care of me because you help clear the table. Don't act like you take care of me because you take the trash out when I ask you to. And sure as hell don't act like you take care of me because you sleep in the bed next to me. You see, I want you in my life, but I don't need you in my life.
Then why are you making TikToks? I don't get it. You shouldn't be making TikToks. You shouldn't care about what men say. You shouldn't care about anything. You should just stay single and not care about men in general. Just live your life. Why are you making TikToks like this, saying that you don't care, you don't want this, you don't want that? Nobody cares. Just be alone.
Here's why I won't date anyone with little kids. Whether those kids are little or teenagers, you won't be the priority. Yeah, exactly. So why would a man want to date a single mother? I don't get it. It's just, just because you want to smash. And many men will do everything that they can do. Be, be the third wheel. It doesn't matter. Be the seventh priority in her life, after the dog, just so she, just so he can smash. It's so sad. Sometimes it's so sad. If I wanted to be deprioritized, I would have stayed in my marriage.
I'm dating men that are late 40s to their mid-50s, and generally they're going to have kids because this guy here is being super clear. He's like, "I ain't got time for you, ma'am." He works, so there's going to be a limited amount of free time, and most of it's going to be based around his children. Guys, pretty much telling you without telling you, I'm, I'm not going to have a lot of time for you. So I would look at something like this and think like, no.
As a single mother, I've had this theory, and I just need some other single moms or some people that are in separations and have kids to tell me if this is true. Is it true that after you become a single mom, you decide that you're choosing your kids and you're no longer going to do life for trying to find a spouse or significant other, and that a lot of single moms end up getting out of relationships and never getting back in them? So I used to see women who were just like gorgeous and with kids, and they were by themselves. And no, that's not true. It's because men don't want to wife up single mothers. It doesn't matter how good you look. Look, yeah, they will smash you. They will say they're your boyfriends, but that doesn't mean anything to a man. When a man is willing to lose half his stuff, half his money, then you can truly say he loves you. Till then, having a boyfriend doesn't mean anything. Those women, probably, especially if they're good-looking, they have so high standards. They, they want the same thing as single women want. Uh, want. So why would a man that has money and all the standards that those women want, why would he choose a single mother over a single woman? It's so simple. That's why those women are alone, are single, because they're not willing to lower their standards.
Was like, yo, is this woman not like with a man? Is she not going to get a man? And they raise up their kids and they're like older and they're still by themselves. You let it. You didn't have second thoughts. Now single. Now single.
Is it just me or does anyone else fantasize about being this like hot mom in her all black Lululemon yoga set, driving her white Mercedes, coming back from Pilates, getting ready to take her kids to soccer practice, just looking so sexy? Can you see how much of a red flag this is? So she cares about being a hot mom, being sexy for whom? For whom? Because it's not for your husband, because you want attention from other people. So everybody around you sees how sexy you are, driving your car, dressed the way that you want to be dressed. Can you see how big of a red flag this is? And some guy would see this TikTok and say, "Oh my God, I want to wife her up. She's so perfect." He doesn't even understand the meaning behind the word that she's saying. That's why I'm trying to teach you guys to see the meaning behind the words that they're saying so you don't get fooled. Think about my voice telling you, don't be a s, don't be stupid. Think about it. Think about it.
Being a mom because this is what I fantasize about these days. Like this is my dream. Anyone else? Being a single mom and dating in the Gold Coast is brutal. First of all, the universe is literally trying to tell me something because my ex, who I was in a traumatic relationship with, was Scorpio. And every single guy that wants to come up to me and get to know me is Scorpio. And they're on the same day as my ex or the day before or after his birthday. So I'm pretty convinced the universe is literally telling me to stay away from old men at this point.
Until I do. The universe doesn't care about you, ma'am. Please avoid women like this. Just because the guy is Scorpio, your ex was Scorpio, doesn't mean anything. I'm a Libra. I'm sure I can bet on it. In the day and the month and the year I was born, there were also born people, bad people, like criminals or rapists. I'm sure of that. So how can you compare me? Just because I'm born in the same day with other people? Just because your ex was a Libra like me, you won't date me? That doesn't make sense. Just think about how stupid that is. Guys, just think about it. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Just think about it. Don't be a s, don't be stupid.
Some serious healing. I really hate being that girl to straight up ask a guy, "When's your birthday?" Like, I'm if she asks you during the date, "What's your star sign? What's your zodiac?" Just leave. Just leave. Or woohoo and star signy. I don't know much about star signs besides stay the away from Scorpio. I need to stay the away from Scorpio. I don't care what any baby mama say. Having to raise your kids by yourself is not a flex. And this is coming from a single mother. Listen to your sister. Don't let any baby mama deceive you into believing that being a single mother is more convenient than being a wife. You hear me? When I was pregnant with my daughter, I went through the whole pregnancy by myself. Ain't nobody going to no appointments, no baby shower, no gender reveal. When my water broke, I got us to the hospital and from the hospital. And I can go on and on about my baby daddy. If my baby dad, F my baby dad, my baby dad, but I slept with him. Yeah, she chose to sleep with him. She chose to have a kid with him. So what kind of woman did that make me? Oh, crazy.
Okay, you're way too beautiful, way too smart, way too intelligent to be going through something like that. So live your soft girl life. Ain't nothing wrong with saying you're too good to be a baby mama. You're right. Because us strong Black women, not strong because we choose to be. We're strong because we have to be. Yeah, they have to be.
Okay, let's talk dating as a single mom because this is a question that I get asked very, very frequently. Carla, how do you date as a single mom? Carla, are you dating right now? As much tea as I'd like to give you guys, I am currently not dating. But I don't know, my mindset with dating is like very, very relaxed. I kind of flip-flop back and forth between between wanting something serious and then wanting something fun.
So she has a kid and she wants to have fun. Just think about it. 10, 20 years from now, when her kid sees this video, "Mom just wanted to have fun with this guy and this guy and the other guy." I don't know. It seems like a really weird topic to talk about because I'm super private when it comes to all of that. I know exactly what I, I want, and I know that I don't want to settle for anything because the way that I look at that's how they end up alone. It is. If I didn't settle for my kid's dad, why would I settle for another man that isn't their dad?
Not only do so many men not care to date a single mom, but so many men value that. So many men lie to you. So many men, so many. They're calling themselves your boyfriend just so he can smash, but nobody's wifing you up. So that doesn't mean anything. That doesn't mean anything. They just lie to you.
Dating as a single mom, you don't want to look for somebody that's just willing to deal with your kid or just okay with them. You want to find somebody that views your child as a blessing. No man views another man's child as a blessing. It's a bonus to the situation, and they exist. I became a single mom shortly after having my baby. I really wasn't looking for a relationship, but I did not think that it would be easy to find somebody that was wanting to date me. Dating as a single mom is horrible, and dating as a single mom in Atlanta, negative 100.
Realistically, I want no one to ever meet my kids. Can you live your life and I live my life and we call it a day? I don't even really like their father, so why would I even want them to call someone else like stepdad or stepparent or whatever? Like, it makes no sense to me. And then when people meet a single mom, they think that we need saving and that they have to to come in and pick up the pieces. Sir, I might want you, but I don't need you.
Another woman that says that, she doesn't need a man. So why would that man want to marry you? He doesn't need you. He will just call himself a boyfriend and smash you till he's, it's convenient for him. And when it's not convenient for him, he will leave, and you will be alone. But on that same note, I can't date someone who is not going to add to my life and who's. Oh, and by the way, I saw some comments that I'm too harsh. If you think I'm too harsh, then just watch another channel. I'm just telling the truth. If the truth hurts you, it means that you made the same mistakes. That's why it hurts you. Because if, if you didn't make any mistakes, you wouldn't care about what, whatever I would say. But it hurts you because you know I'm right because you did the same mistakes. So just watch another channel. Just watch somebody who's soft and who doesn't blame anybody. It's the universe's fault. No, it's not. It's yours. Deal with it. Deal with it because you're a grown man, a grown woman.
Going to take away from my life. I got, I got kids to raise. I, I can't waste my time. And then the Atlanta dating scene, even for single people without children, it's just, it's horrible. It's horrible. Horrible. [Music]
You would never need another when you had three babies, but you still got it. One thing I think anybody in a relationship should refrain from saying to their single friends is, "You have to put yourself out there." Like, what does that mean exactly? Do I need to walk around with a sign that's like, "Looking to date, open to date, like I'm looking"? I don't understand. Every single person that I talk to is always like, "Well, are you on the app?" I have been on the apps. It's not successful. Like, there is nothing about being on dating apps that sounds appealing, that is appealing, that feels good, that's anything. And then like, "Well, where did you meet your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whatever?" And they're like, "Oh, it was just random," or "Oh, between friends, like a friend introduced us." And I'm like, "So then why are you telling me I need to be playing like Russian Roulette here, swiping all over the place, when that's not even how you met your person?" So you're like, "Oh yeah, I was on all of the apps too." Like, I get it. And I'm like, "Oh, really? So you met your boyfriend on a dating app?" No, I just, we were out in the wild.
I'm an exhausted single mom and I've been a single mom for about five years. And honestly, I used to look forward to the weekends that my kids would go with their dad because it, I would be so stretched thin at that point because I have them primarily. I have them most of the time. And so by the time it was time for them to go spend time with their dad, I'd be like, "I honestly could really use this break." So yeah.
And she probably just stayed at home doing nothing, sleeping because she was so tired. So when do you think she would have time for you? Never. Once a month, maybe. I've just been stood up. Question: What is the one piece of advice you would tell a man that was raised to be a s but has been red-pulled, red-pilled because of losing over 75 million? So 750k, that's a lot, man. That's a lot in a divorce and doing his research. Is successful already, works hard in physical fitness and financially. In other words, what is one piece of advice you would give to turn knowledge into action?
Practice makes perfect, my guy. You will still be awkward when you meet the one girl that you want if you don't go on multiple dates to learn how not to be awkward. Just think about it. You lost 750k. I'm sure you have a few hundred a month to go on dates. Even if those dates don't go anywhere, anywhere, you learn how to talk to women. You're not awkward anymore. So when the time comes when you find the, the one that you really like, you know how to talk to her. You have game. You're not awkward anymore. You don't go on that date and stay silent and say nothing. That's the best advice I can give you. Practice makes perfect. It doesn't matter. Go up to women, talk to women online. Even if she just goes out with you to get a free dinner, it's worth it. It's not 750k. Just think about it. You're learning. You can give me hundreds of dollars and I can teach you online what to say and what to do. It's not like real life. You can buy a course from somebody that will tell you everything what to say. It doesn't work. What works for me might not work for you. You have to go out. You have to have practice. That's, that's how you not be you. That's how you get to not be awkward, to know what to say, when to say, to learn to read body language. It's so important to have practice. That's how you get good. And then when you, you know what to do, what to say, when you meet the one that you really like, you have game.
Is it being a s if you want to reconnect with a girl who you treated badly that loved you? No, it's not, my guy. But why did you treat her badly? Why did it end? Because she wasn't the one you wanted. You truly wanted. That's why. So why would you go back to her? Because you know deep, deep down inside, she wasn't the one. Because if she was, you wouldn't have treated her badly. Just think about it, my guy. You think, "Oh yeah, she was the one because she treated me nice and the rest of all my exes were crazy." That doesn't matter. If you don't really like her, it won't end up good. Believe me. It doesn't matter how badly she tries to make you love her. If you don't really love her, you're just wasting your time and her time. Maybe in the meantime, she can, she can find a guy that really loves her and wants to be with her. You already passed on that. You already treated her badly. So why do you want her? Why do you want her back? You just cheat on her. That's my honest opinion, my guy. You do what you want. It's your life. Hope you enjoy the video, guys, and I'll see you on the next one.