Transcription
If you've ever been in a conversation that feels forced, awkward, or boring, it's probably because you haven't learned how to be more playful. [music] I used to avoid people because I used to never know what to say. I just blamed it on being a naturally anxious person. Once I learned how to be more playful, being social actually became fun. Most of us try to answer questions normally. We try so hard to not be awkward or say something embarrassing, especially when it's somebody that we want to impress. Being playful is the opposite of that. You stop trying to be perfect and you can just let go and actually have fun. People will naturally be drawn to you, not because you became more impressive, but because you actually look like you're having fun being yourself. One of the easiest ways to become more playful is to stop giving the safest answer all the time. Sometimes, instead of giving the real answer right away, decide to make it playful and say something a little out of pocket, a little unexpected. What's up guys? Welcome back. Today we're clapping cheeks. >> [laughter] >> There's a photo behind the cash register of this Olympian, right, that used to come to the restaurant as a regular. And the last time she stopped by, we asked her to sign it. When this person came up to the cash register and noticed the the photo behind me, he asked me like, "Oh wow, she she came here one time." And I said, "She used to work here, actually." What? No way. Really? No, man, I'm just kidding. The whole time the person was laughing and he was like, "Hey, honestly, man, you should have stuck to the first story because that was really funny. Like, I really believed you for a second." For example, if you have a scar, right? If you have a scar and someone's like, "Hey, how did you get that scar?" And you know you got it from cutting yourself from, you know, cooking last week. Instead of just giving them the real boring answer, you could be like ah yeah, you know what? 2 weeks ago I had to fight off like seven gang members to save this old lady and I you know, like one of them cut me. The point is to get the other person laughing and joking with you. Notice something light, decide to make it playful, give a surprising answer before revealing the boring answer. Genuinely, if it's something you find amusing and it's funny, then say it. If you think my examples are funny, steal them, use them, try them and see how people react. Make it your own and find ways to make it more fun for you. The more that you're having fun yourself, the better that your jokes will land.
Teasing only works if it feels shared. If it feels like you're laughing with them, you're not laughing at the expense of somebody else. But if you do this well, it can be one of the best ways to banter with anybody. It shows affection without being too nice and being too safe and it shows that you can play. It shows that you can have fun. And look, she's literally wearing the black. >> [singing] [music] >> She is the one. Wow. I'm going to make sure this man never gets the car. >> [laughter] >> You're playing with the moment. The point isn't to make someone else feel bad, it's for both of you to be comfortable and be laughing with each other.
Habit number three is fake seriousness. This is something I do a lot with my friends or I utilize this a lot at work when I want to have more fun. Usually when customers come in and they ask for a napkin, it's obviously free. But sometimes I make it hard for them. Napkin? Sure. It's going to be $5, sir ma'am. I smile. I look at them in the eye, and they're like, "No way." And I'm like, "I'm just joking." You risk being a little bit annoying, but at the same time, people will feel so much more comfortable around you because you're comfortable enough to make jokes around them.
Uh, there was this girl in my class who was wearing a pink shirt, uh, pink Nike shoes, and she had a pink phone case. So, when I sat next to her, I decided to say, "Hey, can I guess?" And she looks at me, and she's like, "Guess what?" "Can I guess your favorite color?" And she looks at herself and her phone and, oh, oh my god, I wonder what it could be. So, can I?" And she's like, she gives me this face, right? "Sure. Go ahead." And I'm like, "Green." You're not really trying to be clever or witty. You're just showing that you're willing to look silly, to look dumb. And that's what actually allows the other person to feel like they can also be silly with you.
And sometimes, you know, I like to pit push people's buttons, but I always try to make sure that I'm sensitive to the other person's actual insecurities, and I dial it back if I feel like I'm being a little too mean or a little too specific about my roasts or my jokes. The only reason why I think I'm a little bit better at making people laugh to this day is because I've said so many dumb things in my life, and a lot of them actually fell flat. It was awkward. People didn't laugh. People thought I was weird or annoying. But, the moments that I've gotten people to laugh is like the things I've stuck to and refined over the years. When you show other people that you're confident enough to be teased, also, that's what makes it safe to be around you and to be playful. Yeah, I don't know. It's just I think it's sick. I think it's sick when people can laugh at themselves and not take themselves so seriously.
One of the biggest mistakes I used to make is only being playful to the people that I was trying to impress. What really changed is when I started being playful with literally everybody. That made being social so much more fun. The more comfortable you are at failing at anything in your life, the more likely that you'll actually achieve it. You might as well laugh and enjoy the process, too. And ironically, that's actually what makes you more fun to talk to. My name is Carl. If this video helped you at all, make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. And make sure to send this to someone who you think will benefit, also. And I'll see you on the next one. Peace. >> Yeah, I could lie, but I'm way [music] too soft for