Transcription
[Music] [Music] [Music] La [Music] no, no, no, no. We're done. We're done. You'd be more out of my league. Ross, back me up here. He can ever get a woman like that in a million years. Thank you, buddy. Oh, oh. But you know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys. You could be one of those guys. You could do that.
Yeah, absolutely. Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this. I'm very, very aware of my tongue. Come on, come on. Here goes. Yes. Hi. Um, okay. Next word would be uh, Chandler. Chandler is my name and uh, hi.
Yes, you said that. Yes, yes, I did. But what I didn't say was what I was about to say. What I wanted to say was uh, would you like to go out with me sometime? Thank you. Good [Music] night.
Hey, who's this little naked guy? Uh, that little naked guy would be me. A look at the little thing. Yes, yeah. It's fine. That is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Who are those people? Got me. Oh, that's Nana right there in the middle. Wow. Yeah. Let's see me and the Gang at Java Joe's. Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there? 1939. Yeah, uh, 24, 25. Huh. It's like a fun gang. Oh, look, look, look, look, look. I got Monica naked. No, no, that would be me again. I'm uh, just trying something. Oh, hey, don't do that. It's worse than the song. Hey, this is so unfair. Oh, why is it un- this is so- I have a flaw. Big deal. Like Joey's constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying, and Ross with his over-pronouncing every single word, and Monica with that snort when she laughs. I mean, what the hell is that thing? I accept all those flaws. Why can't you accept me for this? Does the knuckle cracking bother everybody? Well, well, I I could live without it. Was it like a little annoying or is it like when Phoebe chews her head? Oh, now don't listen to him, Pheebs. All right, I think it's endearing. Oh, you do? Do you? You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly. Indeed, there there [Music] isn't. I should really get back to work. Yeah, otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered. Well, the hair comes out and the gloves come off. With this, looks like she didn't leave in such a hurry after all. Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding. Then I've already seen this one. Are you through with that? Yeah, sorry. The swallowing slowed me down. Whose little ball of paper is this? Oh, that would be mine. See, uh, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realized I didn't need the note, so I balled it up, and now I wish I was dead. She already fluffed that pillow. Monica, you know you already fluffed, but it's fine. Look, I'm sorry, guys. I just don't want to give them any more ammunition than they already have. Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow. Monica. Hi. Um, Monica. Um, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly, you know, and not not in a good way. Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come. That's because, as far as my parents are concerned, er, Ross can do no wrong. You see, he's the prince. Apparently, they had some big ceremony before I was [Music] [Music] born. Oh, ra, we're running low on resumes over here. Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics? Well, if you're going to work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for. Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here. Okay, I cannot be a waitress anymore. I mean, it's sick of the lousy tips, sick of being called, "Excuse me." Ra, did you proofread these? Uh, yeah. Why? Uh, nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent computer skills. Oh my god. Oh, do you think it's on all of them? Oh, no. I'm sure there's zero. Rock Machine caught a fuel. So what do you think? I think it's the most beautiful table I've ever seen. I know. So how does this work? Going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads? Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on. Heads up, Ross. Score! You suck. Hey, hey, hey. And this from the CRI, cry for Health Department. Are you wearing makeup? Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor/model. Thank you. That's so funny because I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man/woman. What were you modeling for? Oh, you know, those posters for the city free clinic. Oh, wow. So you're going to be one of those healthy, healthy, healthy guys. You know, the asthma guy is really cute. Do you know which one you're going to be? No, no, but I hear Lyme disease is open, so you know, good luck, man. I hope you get it. Thanks. Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving. Okay, I tell you what, how about if I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's. Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps? You know they're not actually supposed to- I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right? Yeah. And I assume, Chan, you're still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays? Yes, every single one of them. And Phoebe, you're going to be with your grandma? Yeah, and and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he's Lunar. Hey, CH, look at the window. There's my name. Hi, me. I remember the day I got my first paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed. Wow. You worked in a m- I worked at a Dairy Queen. Why? God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it. I steamed milk for it, and it was totally not worth it. Who's F? Why is he getting all my money? I mean, what? Chandler, look at that. Oh, this is not that bad. Oh, you're fine. Yeah, for a first job, job, you can totally, totally live on this. Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, by the way, great serv- What? Nothing, nothing. Just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Musburger. Check it out. Giants, Cowboys. You're watching a football game at a funeral? No, it's the pregame. I'm going to watch it at the reception. You are a frightening, frightening man. Oh, no, my new poo shoes. Oh, I hope they're not ruined. Okay, God, what a great day. What, weatherwise? I know. You, the air, the the trees. Even though Nana's gone, there's there's something almost uh, I don't know, almost like- I'm fine. I'm fine. Just just having my worst fear realized, but don't tell me, don't tell me. Decaf cappuccino for Joey, coffee, black latte, and a nice tea. I'm getting pretty good at this. Excellent. Good for me. [Laughter] I got to tell you, I love your mom's books. I love her books. I cannot get on a plane without one. I mean, this is so cool. Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it's cool if you're 11 years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of Mistress [ __ ]. Hey, hey, hey. She's [Applause] oning before we get to the book. Now, now, what is this about you you being arrested in London? What is that all about? Your mom was arrested? Sh- busy beaming with pride. Okay, this is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man- Now, why would you say that's embarrassing? I just get this craving for Kung Pao chicken. That's too much information. All right, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing. How is that going? Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate, but I get to see my son, who I love. This is the way that I find out most moms use the phone. You know, don't take this wrong. I I just don't see you as a mom, somehow. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad. Oh, no, I am a fabulous mom. I got my son his first condoms, and then he burst into flame. You know what I just realized? Joker is poker with a J. Coincidence? Hey, that's that's Joe incidence with a C. Ben, you ready? Yeah. All right, give me your foot. Okay, okay. On three, Ben. One, two, three. Come on, B. Okay, that's it, Ben. Okay, okay. What are you seeing? Well, Susan, I it appears to be a dark vent. Wait, yes, it is, in fact, a dark vent. Babes, it's open. It's open. Wait, you forgot your legs. Where have you been? Long story, honey. All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need to I I need- Excuse me, can I have this? All right, all right. There's a few too many people in this room. There's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go. Good luck, you guys. Good luck. Lu, let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? Sorm of confetti here. In-are there? You go, kids. And then the peacock bit me. Please kiss me at midnight. You seen Sandy O? Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but uh, she's in Monica's bedroom getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Oh, look at that. I didn't know how to tell you, everybody. The ball is ding. What the B is dripping. It'll be midnight, and the moment of joy is upon us. Looks like that no-date pack thing worked out. Everybody looks so happy. I hate that not everybody's happy. Hey, Bobby, happy- You know, I uh, just thought I'd throw this out here. I'm no math whiz, but I believe there are three girls and three guys right here. Oh, I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight. I can't kiss anyone, so I'm kissing everyone. No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross. That's your brother. Oh, yeah. Perfect, perfect. So now everybody's going to kiss but me. All right, somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me. It's midnight. Somebody kissed me. It's midnight. It's one. I have something you can do. I have this new massage client, Steve. Anyway, um, he's opening up a restaurant, and he's looking for a head chef. Um, hi there. Hi. Oh, yeah. No, I know you're a chef. I know. And I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so yeah. I just don't have a lot of chefing experience, unless it's an all-toast restaurant. Yeah, yeah. Well, what kind of food is he looking for? Well, he wants to do something eclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu. Oh my God. Yeah, I know. So what do you think? Thanks, Fee. I just don't really see myself in a big white hat. Okay. Oh, Monica, guess what? Oh God. Okay. [Applause] What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap out of me. Was that the cake? Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon smo- Come on, she'll be here any minute. Hope it's okay. Oh, happy birthday, Pee. Well, maybe we can make a a bee out of one of those Roses. Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools. Do we- Hey, what's going [Applause] on? This is so great. How come you guys have never played poker with us? Yeah, what is that? Like some kind of guy thing? Like some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play? No women are welcome to play? Oh, okay. So then what is it? Some kind of, you know, like like some kind of, you know, like what is it? There just don't happen to be any women in our game? Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker. That is such a lame excuse. I mean, it's it's a typical guy response. Excuse me, do any of you know how to play? No, but you could teach us. No, no. [Music] Okay, so now we draw cards. So I wouldn't need any, right? 'Cause I have a straight. Congratulations. Okay, Pheebs, how many do you want? Okay, I just need two, the um, 10 of Spades and the six of Clubs. No, uh, Pheebs, you can't do- you can't- Wait, I have the 10 of Spades here. You want uh- No, see, uh, you you can't do that. No, no, that's okay. That's okay. I don't need them. I'm going for fours. Oh, you're all right. Here we go. Got salmon rillettes and assorted crudités. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what are you doing? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's got to be like chips or dip or pretzels. Okay, so at this point, the dealer- All you know- We got it. We got it. Let's play for real, right? High stakes, big bucks. Now you sure? Phoebe just threw away two Jacks because they didn't look happy. Hey, I have a question. Well, uh, actually not so much a question as more of a a general wondering. Me? Okay, okay. Here goes. Um, well, for a while now, I've been wanting to um- Yes, yes. That's that's right, little girl. What? Top of the world looking down on creation. [Applause] [Music] All right, this is just a vaccine. It won't hurt. Ow, ow. Sorry, that was whack. Poor little Toti is scared to death. We should find his owner. Oh, we just put the poor little Toti out in the hall during the blackout. She get trampled? Yeah. [Music] Hi, guys. Hey, B. Hey, hey. Oh, oh. How'd it go? Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said we should do this again. What? You said we should do it again? That's good, right? Uh, no. Loosely translated, "We should do this again" means you will never see me naked. Since when? Since always. It's like dating language, you know? Like, "It's not you" means it is you. Or, "You're such a nice guy" means I'm going to be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you. Or or you know, um, "I think we should see other people" means I already am, and everybody knows this. Oh, yeah. Cushions the blow. Yeah, it's like when you're a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm. That's funny. That no, because uh, our parents actually did uh, send our dog off to live on a farm. Uh, Ross, what? Hello? The Milner Farm in Connecticut? The Milner- They had this unbelievable farm that they- Horses and then rabbits that he could chase and it- Oh my God. Chat. CH. Hey, hey. How was the first day? Oh, excellent. Everyone was so so nice. See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. Me? No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you. Why not? Well, because you know, they don't like you. What? I thought you'd do that. Nuh-uh. Who doesn't like me? Everyone except for um- No, everyone. What are you talking about? Don't feel bad. You know, they used to like you a lot, but then you got promoted, and you know, now you're all like Mr. Boss Man, you know, Mr. Bing, Mr. Bing, Boss Man Bing. I can't believe it. Yeah, yeah. They even do you- They do me, you know, like um- Okay, um, could that report be any later? I don't sound like that. Oh, oh, yeah, you do. The hills are alive with the sound of music. My scone, my scone. Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true. That is so not- That is so not- Oh, shut up, guys. There's uh, somebody I'd like you to meet. Wait, wait. What is that? That would be Marcel. You want to say hi? No, no, I don't. Oh, he is precious. Where did you get him? My friend Beth rescued him from some lab. That is so cruel. Why? Why would a parent name their child [Laughter] Beth? Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on his ass. Ross? Is he going to live with you, like in your apartment? Yeah. I mean, it's been kind of quiet since Carol left, so why don't you just get a roommate? Uh, I don't know. I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is just kind of pathetic. Sorry. That's that's pathet, which is Sanskrit for a really cool way to live. Chandler's coming, and he says he has like this incredible news. So when he gets here, let's all act like, you know- Hey, hey. Okay, never mind. But it was- is going to be really good. What's going on? What is it? So it's a typical day at work. I'm in, putting my numbers, and Big L calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. That is- Congratulations. So I quit. Why? Why? Why? Why? This was supposed to be a temp job. Yeah, Chandler, you've been there for 5 years. If I took this promotion, it would be like admitting that this is what I actually do. So was it a lot more money? Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until 12:00 at night worrying about the wenus- the the wenus weekly estimated net usage systems. It's a processing term. Oh, that weenus, Ross. [Applause] Ross, I'm here. You are- Um, um, we were just- W- What? Um, great. Now I'm having a baby. What? No, I'm I'm having- I'm having- I'm having with the phone- The phone- Phone. I don't know. The phone. Ross, I'm hurt. Marica, let's go. Come on now, people. Woman in labor. Hey, Ross, look what I got going here. Yeah, save it for the cab. Okay. What are you doing? What are you doing? We're going to a hospital. What? So I can't look nice? There might be doctors there. Joey, get out of fridge. All right, all right. What is that? For the ride. Oh, yeah, like in a cab. You save it. Okay, hating this m- Go. Come on now, let's go. Baby coming. I can't believe it. I'm going to be an aunt. I'm going to have like a nephew. That's nice. Get out. Let's go. Come on. All right, all right. I'm going. I'm going. Here we go. Hey, Pheebs, guess who we saw today? Oh, oh, fun. Okay, um, Liam N- No, Morey- Safer- NOP- The woman who cuts my hair. Okay, look, this could be a really long game. Your sister, Ursula. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. She works over at that place, uh, Riffs. Yeah, I know. Oh, you do? Because she said you guys haven't talked in like years. Yeah, so um, is she fat? Not from where I was standing. Where were you standing? Um, Pheebs. So you you guys just don't get along? It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know? I mean, like everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know? And- Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it later that same day. But to my parents, by then it was like, yeah, right. What? What else is new? Oh my gosh, Rachel, why are you- Okay, where's Poo? Rome jerk missed his flight, and then your face exploded? No. Okay, I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman, this blonde planet with a pocketbook, starts yelling at me, something about how it was her cab first, and then the next thing I know, she just starts starts pulling me out by my hair, you know? And then I blow my attack whistle thingy, and and and three more cabs show up. As I'm going to get into a cab, she tackles me, and I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistle. Oh, everybody having fun at the party? Are people eating my dip? I don't know why you're so embarrassed. They were very nice boobies. Nice. They were nice. I mean, that's it. I mean, mittens are nice. Okay. Rock hard place. [Laughter] Me? You're you're so funny. He's really funny. Well, I wouldn't want to be there when when the laughter stops. Whoa, whoa, back up there, Sparky. What did you mean by that? Well, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues, you know, that you use your humor as a way of keeping people at a distance, huh? I mean, hey, I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty? Uh-huh. How did you know that? It's textbook. Hey, you guys, you all know my Dad. Hey, how long you in the city? Just for a couple of days. I got a job Midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on a ferry. I don't know this one. Oh, this is my friend Roger. Hi. Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger. You too, sir. What happened to the uh, puppet guy, Dad? Oh, oh, excuse me. So, Ross, how's the [Music] wife? All for two. Uh, Chan, the quick- Say something funny. Then I want you to know that there may be some times when I'm I may not be around, um, like this, but I'll still always come back, like this. And sometimes I may be away longer, like [Music] this, but I'll still always come back, like [Music] this. And sometimes I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. [Music] He is so amazing. I know. Look at him. Ben. Ben. Hey, Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name. Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. Oh, look, he's opening his eyes. He doesn't do much, much, does he? No, this is pretty much [Music] it. You guys want to get some coffee? Yeah, yeah, man. I'll see you guys later. [Music] Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again. That's that's cool. How's it going? Right. Don't stare. Okay, she just f- finished throwing his clothes off the balcony. Now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm waving. Okay, that is either- How could you? Or enormous breast. Here he comes. Uh, I am uh, to say goodbye. Okay, bye-bye. [Laughter] [Applause] Paulo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, but I still have five of these. So heated at 375 until the cheese bubbles. Conat- By the way, I just want to tell you, and I I think I'd speak for everyone when I say- How could someone get a hold of your credit card number? I have no idea, but look how much they spent. Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought. Still just such reckless spending. I think when somebody steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind. Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop. That's [Laughter] me. Oh, the yuck. FR. He's doing it again. Marcel, stop humping the land. Stop humping now, Marcel. Come, come back. Come here, Marcel. Oh, no, no, not in my room. I'll get him. Ross, you've got to do something about the humping. What? It's it's just a phase. Well, that's what we said about Joey. He- Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal. Marcel, stop it. Marcel, bad monkey. What? Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious. [Music] T- Are we greeting each other this way now? Because I like that. Look, I cleaned. I did the windows. I did the floors. I've used all those attachments on the vacuum except for that little round one with the bristles. I don't know what that's for. Oh, yeah. Nobody knows, and we're not supposed to ask. Oh, what do you think? Very clean. Really looks great. Very clean. Oh, I I I see you moved the green ottoman. How did that happen? I don't know. I I thought it looked better there, and I and also it's an extra cedar on the coffee table. Yeah, it's interesting, but you know what, just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot, just to compare. See? Ha. Well, it looks good there, too. Let's just leave it there for a while. Can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman. Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out. Guys, I am not that bad. Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember, I lived with you. You were like a little, you know- That is so unfair. Oh, come on. When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy. Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organized, but hey, I can be a c- All right, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this: The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. Why not? Because you're a c. Instead, you wait until they send you a notice. I could do that. Okay, okay. Then uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. Why would someone do that? One might wonder. Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink. It's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood. Stop it. Oh my God, it's true. Who am I? Monica. Your mom. Go to bed, guys. All right, night. Monica. M- You're gonna leave your shoes out here? Uh-huh. Really? Just just casually strewn about in that reckless, haphazard manner? Doesn't matter. I'll get them tomorrow, or not, whenever.
Is a cook. Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened? No, no, and yet it did. Goodbye, Janice. Kiss me. Oh, Chandler, sorry. Oh, Chandler, sorry. Hey, Janice. I'm Monica. Okay, well, this was very special, great. Come see who's out here. What's going—oh my God, Janice. Hi, hi. Janice is going to go away now. I'll be right back. Oh, Joey, look who it is. Whoa. Oh, good, Joey's home. Now this is so much fun. This is like a reunion in the hall. Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah, there's someone I want you to say hi to. He just happened to call. Hello? BR. Yes, that's right, it's me. How do you know? Keep the change. Thanks, Lizzy. Sure you don't want a pretzel? No, I'm fine, thanks. See you. Huh, a thumb. I know, I know. I opened it up, and there it was, just floating in there like this tiny little hitchhiker. Well, maybe it's a contest, you know, like collect all five. So pretty. This must have cost him a fortune. I can't believe he did this. Come on, Ross, remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck? What did you just say? [Applause] Crystal [Applause] duck. No, no, no, the um, the love part. FN. Oh my god. Oh, no, no, no, no. That's good. Just keep rubbing your head. That'll Turn Back Time. This is unbelievable. I mean, this is unbelievable. I know. This is really, really huge. No, it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's peed. It's we—uhuh. I don't think any of our lives are ever going to be the same ever again. Okay, is there a mute button on this woman? I think this is so great. I mean, you—en boss, did you have any idea? No, none. I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just—what? What else did he say? I mean, does he like want to go out with me? Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something. What? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. Yeah, he's in China, the country. This flight doesn't leave for another 45 more minutes. What about the time difference from here to the airport? Yes, you're never going to make it. Well, I've got to try. Rachel, what are you going to say to him? I, I don't know. Well, then maybe you shouldn't go. He's right, cuz if you're just going to like break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait. Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now. I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see him. Here, look. All right, does this help? [Music] Can you see my nipples through this shirt? No, but don't worry, I'm sure they're still there. Where are you going, Mr. Su man? Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pilman, career counselor. Agogo. I added the Agogo career counselor. Hey, you guys, all know what you want to do? I don't. Hey, you guys in the living room, I'll know what you want to do. You know, you have goals, you have dreams. I don't have a dream. Uh, the Lesser known I don't have a dream speech. Oh, I love my life. I love my life. A Bryant song. The meeting with that guy went great. So great. He showed me where the restaurant's going to be. It's, it's, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. It's not too big, it's not too small, it's just right. Was it formerly by a blonde woman and some bears? Everybody sh—uh. Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay. Thanks. Hi, um, I want to start with a song that's about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is really all about. Okay, here we [Music] go. Okay, thank you very much. York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour, but to me it is not scary, cuz I stay away from [Music] dairy. This guy says, hello, I want to kill myself. Are you okay, sweetie? I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck. Cookie. Carol moved her stuff out today. Let me get you some coffee. Thanks. No, oh, no, no, don't stop cleansing my aura. Don't just leave my aura alone. Okay, I'll be fine. All right, really. Everyone I hope would be very happy. No, you don't. No, I don't. To hell with her. She left me, and you never knew she was a lesbian. No. Okay, why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know. How should I know? Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud? All right, Ross, look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry, you're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints. Come on, you're single. Have some hormon—see. But I don't want to be single. Okay, I just, I just, I just want to be married again, and I just want a million dollars. A [Music]