Get out of your own way

Hi friends, welcome. You need to get out of your own way. Something that has been hitting me over the head for the last week is how much I've been in my own way without even realizing it, without even noticing that I am the problem. And I'm going to break this down because it's huge. Nobody talks about it, and it's actually very easy to break through once you understand what's going on. You will never get what you want out of life if you're always just standing in your own way. You'll get so far, and then you'll drag yourself back down.

We all have that experience where we're chasing something or we start working towards a goal, but we let fear, doubt, insecurity, indecisiveness, all of these things just stop us in our tracks, and we run back to who we were before. And we tell ourselves that we don't really want these things, that we want that, that it's not worth it anyway, that it wasn't going to work anyway. Or we try and we don't see results straight away, and we just say, "Oh, didn't work," and we go back to how we were before. And you're just going to end up living a life that you don't want to live and being generally unhappy because you know you want different for yourself.

And the thing is, is it's not outside circumstances. It's not this person or that person, or this situation or that situation. People have come from the worst situations ever and have made amazing, amazing stories out of their lives. It's not that. It's you. It's you. You're in your own way. And I have had such a breakthrough with this literally two days ago, so I'm here to talk all about it.

The reason it's so hard for you to be who you want to be. You might have like this dream life in your mind that you you think of, and you get all excited, but then you get sad because you think, "I can never be like that." Or you look at other people's lives, and you're just respecting watching people living your dreams, wishing it could be you. It can be you if you just get out of your own way.

You have who you are now, okay? And who you are now has certain traits, and a lot of those traits we carry with us from our past and from our circumstances, from our environment. We don't even realize all these traits that we're carrying. And then you have who you wish you were or who you want to be. And the gap that's in the middle is what you do. And the things that you do are triggered by your beliefs about yourself. So the only way to start changing how you act and how you show up is to break the cord that you have with who you are now.

So if you can sit down and just picture yourself and all the traits that maybe are holding you back, so maybe you're insecure, maybe you have a lot of self-doubt. If you can sit down and close your eyes and picture yourself with all these traits you have now, and imagine just a cord of energy running between like you sitting here and this person, you can start to create some separation. Like that doesn't have to be you.

This is the thing. You think you're set in stone. You think you are just the way that you are, but you're not. You can decide to change, but you have to recognize all the traits that you have now, and you have to let them go. That's what a lot of people don't realize. What's standing in your way is the fact that you're still attached to who you are now, like your identity. You have an attachment to it. You have to actually let that go in order to be able to build a future self.

So just imagine you're sitting there, right? Close your eyes, and you can see yourself now. You can imagine a cord attaching you to this person, and you can start to cut that cord and imagine that person floating off. You don't need to be this person. You don't need to have these characteristics. Maybe they were adopted by you because of people you were around, whatever reason you felt like you had to be this person, you don't have to be that person. And you can start to let them go because if you keep holding on to all these traits that are holding you back, that's what's going to stop you.

There's no use sitting there because I used to do this so much. I used to sit there, and I used to imagine my higher self. I used to imagine my ideal self. And for those few minutes, it would feel great, and I'd be like, "Oh my God, empowered! Oh my God, confident, decisive," yada yada. And then I would get up and I'd go about my day, and old self would still be 100% here. Higher self, not here. Not here. Why is that? Because I didn't sit there.

And I literally did this two days ago, and my whole reality exploded. I sat there, I imagined me now, and I said, "I'm going to let her go. I'm going to let her go. She's done her time. She's served me well." And with love, I'm going to let her go because I need to make room for this new me. That's the key. And that's the thing that's holding you back.

And also, by the way, don't expect this to be easy. Like, you're going to have to do this a few times and keep reminding yourself, like, "Okay, we don't feel like this anymore. We don't act like this anymore." And stop questioning yourself. Like, if there's something you want to do, stop trying to be it. If there's someone you want to be like, stop trying to be it. Stop looking at other people being it. Just be it. And stop doubting yourself. Like, you have desires, and you have these things in your heart and your mind for a reason. Like, there is a reason you want what you want. And if you've wanted it for a long time, you best get after that because it's there for a reason. It's for you. You just have to let go of the you that's too afraid to chase it and step into the you that doesn't give a [ __ ] and that trusts yourself enough to go for it.

The other part of this is self-trust. So if you care so much about what other people are saying, you're going to find it very difficult to change yourself because people know you as you. And like, if you don't trust yourself to change and to make decisions that are moving you towards what you want, you're going to find it very hard to stick to it. So you need to start building trust in like small ways. Like, start keeping your word to yourself. Start showing yourself that you are trustworthy. And then over time, you'll have confidence in yourself that you know what's best.

So instead of focusing on, "I want a Lamborghini, I want this, I want to make, you know, whatever amount of money a month," instead of focusing on that, you need to focus on becoming he or she who can. That's what your focus needs to be. So you have to fully let go of the outcomes. Like, if you're posting on social media and you're getting two views, it doesn't matter because the fact of the matter is you are posting on social media, and that's you shifting identity by doing the things that the person you want to be would do. You become that person. But you, you have to not let it get in your head about not getting the outcome or result.

You need to be realistic. Like, things take time. And trust me, when you start taking actions aligned with who you want to be, you will automatically just feel so much better. Like, you'll just feel happier, more fulfilled, and then things will start flowing to you. Like, say, if you want to be a dancer, okay? And you want to be like a world-class famous dancer, but you're not a world-class famous dancer, are you just going to stop dancing because you, you're not class yet? No. Like, you have to be it for the sake of being it because that's what's going to make you happy. And over time, the results will come.

You might be waiting for permission or for someone to tell you that it's a good idea or that you're special enough, or like to tell you to go ahead and permit you to do what you want to do. You have to give that to yourself. No one's coming to tell you. No one's coming to pick you up and tell you you've had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That's not going to happen. It has to come from you. You have to allow yourself to have these dreams and have these goals, and you also have to allow yourself to believe that you have them for a reason and that you can and will achieve them. It's just a matter of changing your mind about who you are and what you do and just trusting yourself to make those changes.

It's literally like you will look at all these other people, and you're taking everyone else's advice when you have known all along what to do. You know yourself better than anyone. You know best. Like, why can't you just trust your own judgment and go for what you want to go for? Stop sitting on the sidelines. Stop watching other people. Stop waiting for the right moment. Time is fleeting.

And when I had this realization when I was meditating the last day, I got this overwhelming feeling that I was about to die. It's like I was shown what death felt like, and I was like, "Oh yeah, I don't have forever to do these things and do what I want." We don't have forever. So you're waiting for someone to come in and tell you it's the right time, but you're running out of time to do things. As soon as you feel inspiration, as soon as you feel like you want to go and do something, just do it. Just start building the momentum. Start building that trust for yourself because no one else is going to do it for you. And before you know it, you'll be old and you'll be like, "Why didn't I do it? Why didn't I just do it?" Because you were too attached to who you are now. You were too afraid to let go of who you are now and just step into this new you.

You can expect when you're shifting from like one identity to another, there's going to be really uncomfortable feelings. You're going to feel judged. You're going to feel like really uncomfortable. But getting through that, expect that that's going to happen. It's going to happen. And just know that it's part of it, and it's worth it. Just because it's uncomfortable doesn't mean you should stop.

The things you do and the actions you take, it should always be about listening to your intuition and doing what you want to do. Like what you do, you shouldn't be looking for validation with it. You shouldn't be looking for people to pat you on the back because that's not going to happen. It should just be fulfilling in itself to do what you want to do without the outcome that you expect attached to it.

The last piece of this is resistance, okay? Resistance is the enemy. Resistance is a part of you, and resistance is going to flare up anytime you try to do something new or like change yourself. It's going to be procrastination. So say you have an idea to do something, and then you're, "Oh my God, I'm scared. Like, I'm too..." I want to do it. Fear, doubt, procrastination. "I'll do it tomorrow." "That's a stupid idea." Like downplaying all of that is just resistance. And resistance flares up whenever you try to do something that is new or uncomfortable. And it doesn't mean that you shouldn't do the thing. It's just a natural part of it. With growth comes resistance. They go hand in hand. Like, you cannot grow without resistance.

So for you to expect to just like flounce around and do these things and have fun and have no negative feelings, that's delusional. You're go, that's delusional. Like, you have to expect to feel these emotions because they will come with growth. It's not going to be easy, but the key is to feel them and to just run straight through them. Because every single time you meet resistance with action, so say you feel like you want to do something and you're scared, if you could just run through that fear and do it anyway, do you know how much less scared you're going to feel next time? Like, you're not going to be scared at all next time, and the resistance will lower and lower and lower if you keep meeting it with action.

So it's like a wall. You're here, and your goals are here, okay? And every single time you just keep, you keep attacking resistance with action. You feel doubt, you feel fear, you feel procrastination, but you just say, "[ __ ] you, resistance," and you keep going. Eventually, that wall will start to wear down, and resistance will just not bother after a while because they'll be like, like, you know what? She doesn't give a [ __ ]. She's just going to keep coming. And then you'll get to your goals. All of a sudden, you'll be there. And that's how it works. But just don't expect like when you're making big changes and you're doing scary things and there's growth, there's always, always going to be resistance.

If you want to achieve anything, you have to overcome some hurdle. Like, it's inevitable. But again, this comes back to you letting go of this idea that you're someone who can't handle that. If you want what you want, you need to become the person who can can handle that. So you are the one in your own way. You are the one with the keys to your kingdom. You literally can overcome whatever it is standing in the way of what you want. You just have to decide to be that person and to let go of the person who can't.