Transcription
My parents got separated at a young age, and from a very young age, I didn't have a father figure present in the household. I had to rely on a single mother, and there were a lot of challenges and lessons that I had to learn on my own.
Now, if you're familiar with my content, you'll know that I come across as very soft and supportive on a lot of subjects, but you're going to see a very stern side of me in this video because this is something that I speak so passionately about. My intentions here are only good, and they come from the heart because these are values that I really wish that you instill and you interpret and you listen to with intent because they're going to help you so much in life, as they did for me. So without any further ado, let's get into [Music] them.
Please start something. A lot of younger guys feel that they lack purpose and accomplishment because they have failure to launch, if we can call it that. We wait for the perfect time, or we wait for the perfect opportunity, or we wait for permission to do something, to take action on our lives and actually accomplish things. Now, a lot of people, similar to when I was young, sometimes we speak ourselves out of opportunity; like I had ideas which I didn't take action on because I spoke myself out of certain opportunities, and on other occasions, we simply just don't know what to do.
My advice is always follow and take action on something that you're passionate about. And even if you don't know the next steps, it's okay because taking that action is more likely to lead to the next step and to lead to a result than without taking action at all. You don't need to start a company. You don't need to have radical change. Start messy, but just start. No one is coming to save you. And I know that might seem a bit harsh, and it's very unpleasant for a lot of us to hear that. But as we grow older and as we become adults, the only person that we have to fall back on is ourselves. Up until a certain age and up until a certain point, our parents are going to be there to support us. But as we grow older, we have to rely on and we have to count on ourselves in order to save ourselves.
You know, I got to a point in my life where I was desperate for assistance. I was begging for assistance. I couldn't rely on my mother; she didn't have the financial means. And it was a massive turning point for me because I realized the only person that I had that could get me through the situation was myself. And through that process, I struggled a lot. It was incredibly difficult. But I knew I couldn't have a victim mindset because if I stayed the victim and if I played the victim, I would never be able to achieve anything.
Now, this doesn't mean that you have to do everything on your own. This doesn't mean that there aren't people that you can rely on. But in order to take that first step, get yourself off the ground and launch and take action, you have to do it for yourself, and you have to be dependent on yourself. So please, you are the hero of your own story, and you got to act like it.
Master the basics. Don't be sloppy. Keep yourself well-kept. Keep yourself well-groomed because people will take you a lot more seriously. But as you're working your way up the ranks and as you want to be taken seriously and as you want to be treated seriously, it's very important that we uphold a very good positive self-image of ourselves. And you don't have to be rich. You don't have to wear the best branded clothes and use the most best branded fragrances. But simply keep yourself well-kept. Keep yourself well-groomed. Have a good skincare routine. Brush your hair. Use a nice fragrance because these actions, especially in the business world, a clean exterior represents a clean interior. And a lot of people judge us. They judge our work ethic based on our outside appearance. Now, as much as I wish that were not the case, this is the world that we live in. And this does apply to the vast majority of businesses, corporates, professionals out there. And it's very important that we give off a good presence and carry a good image. Mastering the basics shouldn't cost much, but the payoff is just so worth it. So please don't overlook the basics.
Please learn to take criticism without falling apart. If you have the inability to listen to critique and to interpret and listen to that critique, you're not going to be in a position where you can improve yourself. A lot of people take it as a personal attack when they're given criticism or critique. The most successful persons that I know welcome criticism. They ask for criticism. They ask for input and they ask on how they can improve something, especially when being approached or surrounded by people that know more and have more experience than what they have at something. Because if you have the inability to do that, if you're simply just not receptive to that input and to that criticism, you're just not going to be able to level up. We become so entrapped within a certain space and within our own mind because we have an inability to expand outside of that that ultimately we just become stagnant.
One of the most important pieces is your friend group can either make you or break you. Especially for my younger audiences, I need to just profess the importance of this particular point because you are the company that you keep. If you have five lazy friends, you'll be the sixth. If you have friends that don't support you, push you, motivate you, drive you, you're just not going to get to where you want to be in life. There was a time in my life when I experienced this, not one occasion, but probably a few occasions. And I was on this trajectory for personal self-development, self-improvement. I wanted to grow my finances. I wanted to work on my physique. And all my friend group wanted to do was go out, party, drink alcohol, get drunk. And I was ridiculed by my friends for wanting to go to the gym and work on myself. I then realized the need to surround myself with more positive influences. I went from a very large group of friends to a very small group of friends, but it was a very small group of friends of like-minded friends, and we had the same interest and we had the same passions and we had the same drive, and truly that is when I started to flourish.
So what I would like you to do, audit your friends. Sometimes we have to cut ties with friends. It doesn't make us evil, ugly, or a bad person. We just have to evaluate the value that we get from our friends. It's the same as being in a relationship; it's either a positive relationship that uplifts you or you're in a toxic relationship that pulls you down.
Don't let a breakup define you. I've seen this so many times where persons or couples break up, and the person being broken up with just completely loses themselves in the process. They question their worth. They question their integrity. They question their actions. They question everything. Sometimes they're just holding on to so much anger and hatred and confusion that they end up altering their personalities and they end up becoming someone who they aren't and who the person that they were with didn't fall in love with in the first place. Don't question and overthink the breakup too much for yourself, especially if you're the one that's being broken up with. Especially if you're the one that's being cheated on. I know a lot of this can come as a surprise, and this will often take a major knock on our confidence because you're left feeling not good enough. Don't alter yourself in the process. If you've done everything in your power to be a good partner, to bear a good relationship, don't change what good values and good qualities you have because those values that were overlooked by someone else are the values that are going to bring so much joy to the next person that you meet in your life. So please let the breakup grow you and not define you.
Confidence is not arrogance. Please, you need to know the difference. Confidence, in retrospect, is the person in the room that is silent and observant. They're taking in their surroundings. They're interpreting what people are saying, and then they speak confidently on a situation or they speak confidently to a person once they've thoroughly established the environment. It's not about being the loudest person. It's not about how much money you make. It's not about how much money you spend. It's not about how many girls you've been with. That is not confidence. That is arrogance. That is egotistical. That is insecurity; that is wearing a mask. So let's establish what the difference is here between arrogance and confidence. And what I want you to be is more confident. Have confidence in your appearance. Have confidence in your abilities because that is going to impress people a lot more than the flashy things. So please don't confuse arrogance with strength and don't confuse power with loudness. Stay grounded, stay humble, and let your presence speak for itself.
Learn how to say no. One of the greatest forms of self-respect is the ability to say no. And I know this is hard. This is something that I particularly struggled with, and often I was taken advantage of because I was the nice guy. I didn't want to disappoint people, and I didn't want to say no. So that very simple word, those two very simple letters, no, are so empowering when used appropriately. You don't need to explain yourself. You don't need to hand over and relinquish your power to someone else when you do something against your will because you have the inability to stand up for yourself and you know where to draw the line when it comes to your own moral compass and able to say no to someone. So please learn how to say no from your chest and leave it at that.