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Henry Kissinger, former US Secretary of State, National Security adviser, and chief ghoul to presidents Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford, reportedly once famously asked, "Who do I call when I want to talk to Europe?" "I am Europe." "No, I am Europe." "We are Europe." Kissinger, who is now very much dead, pointed out a problem that still plagues American Presidents to this day, more than 50 years later. "What the hell is Europe?"
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At the height of the Cold War, the United States relied on its numerous allies in Western Europe to counterbalance the Soviet threat in Eastern Europe. The problem? Well, there are a lot of countries in Europe, and the president wasn't about to waste his time calling 20 different presidents, prime ministers, chancellors, high priests, and Danish warlords just to have the same conversation. That problem still exists, but in typical European fashion, there are now more layers of bureaucracy and people to call. They include the President of the European Commission, the President of the European Council, and the High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy.
But how did we get here? For thousands of years, Europeans have been slaughtering each other over competing claims for the same four square kilometer patches of territory that are now chalk full of unexploded artillery rounds and landmines. Have you seen Verdun lately? It has more craters per square kilometer than the goddamn moon. Between 1870 and 1945, Germany and France, then Europe's premier continental powers, fought three major wars: the Franco-Prussian War, World War I, and World War II. France lost that first war, won the second at enormous cost, and won the third one only after it was liberated by other powers from German occupation. For nearly a century, France was either at war with or preparing to be at war with Germany.
This was the heart of the problem. At the end of World War II, with much of the continent in complete ruin, European leaders desperately sought new ways to prevent France and Germany from going to war again. Their first plan was simply taking Germany and pushing it somewhere else. Their second plan was to remind you to hit the like button, comment, and subscribe so that you watch more of our content. Instead of giving into the urge to violate Belgium's territorial integrity. No, but seriously, they knew that they had to do something because with the increasingly rapid development of weapons technology and the advent of nuclear weapons, there was a good chance that the next war would be the last one.
On the 9th of May, 1950, Robert Schuman, the then French foreign minister, delivered a speech drafted by himself and Jean Monnet, a French statesman whose role in early European integration efforts was so comprehensive and monumental that he is often referred to as the father of the European Union. In the speech, Schuman proposed placing the French and West German coal and steel industries under a single supranational authority. That means an entity that supersedes national institutions and laws, to make war between them materially impossible.
A number of states responded positively to the so-called Schuman Declaration, and on the 18th of April, 1951, not even a year later, France and West Germany signed the Treaty of Paris along with Italy, the Netherlands, Belgium, and Luxembourg, establishing the European Coal and Steel Community, or ECSC, the oldest direct ancestor of the European Union. This organization formally kicked off the process of European integration, which has for decades now gradually aligned the political, economic, industrial, legal, social, and cultural policies and structures of European countries. This was a massive departure from the previous blood-soaked millennia of European history. The goal was equally massive: unify the continent through peaceful and voluntary means.
The European Coal and Steel Community set the groundwork for the six original member states to create similar organizations in 1957: the European Economic Community, which fostered economic integration among its members, and the European Atomic Energy Community, or Euratom, whose continuing mission is to create a micro-state even smaller than the Vatican. All of these organizations greatly accelerated their members' postwar economic growth and prompted other states to express interest in joining. Chief among them, the United Kingdom. However, they ran into staunch opposition from one Charles de Gaulle, who feared that the UK would serve as a proxy for American interests and powers, while also not being actually committed to the project of Europe. Oh man, how right he was.
Once de Gaulle could no longer say no because he was dead, the organizations began to expand their membership. This happened for the first time in 1973, when the United Kingdom, Ireland, and Denmark joined the various European institutions, and most recently in 2013, when Croatia joined the EU. Eventually, all of these organizations were consolidated into what we now call the European Union, although Euratom does remain legally separate. In 1992, the Maastricht Treaty created the EU under its current name, and subsequent treaties have enhanced the scope and breadth of its powers and jurisdictions.
Today, the EU has 27 member states, one former member state that is still too proud to admit that it made a huge mistake, and 10 states that are in various stages of the accession process. It has a population of nearly 450 million and a nominal GDP in 2023 of nearly $18 trillion, behind only China and that other coalition of states named after a continent.
The EU is governed by seven principal institutions, most of which, but not all, are located in Brussels, the de facto capital of the EU. The European Parliament, which is elected by the people of Europe in the world's largest transnational elections, acts as the lower house of the legislature. It's responsible for passing laws, setting the EU's budget, approving the President of the European Commission, and giving unremarkable dips a taste of power so that they can go back home and ruin their own country. The Parliament notably does not have the power to actually introduce legislation. This is one of the chief criticisms underwriting accusations of a so-called democratic deficit in the EU, but we won't get into that in this video. The Parliament is headquartered at their beautiful building in Strasbourg, France, but spends most of their time at their facility in Brussels because that's basically where the rest of the fucking government is.
The Council of the European Union, often called the Council of Ministers, is composed of government ministers from individual national governments and functions as the upper house of the legislature. For example, the foreign ministers of all 27 countries meet monthly to coordinate the EU's external actions and listen to the Hungarian representative talk about how letting Russia murder and bomb its way across the continent is a good thing, actually. The High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy chairs that specific grouping. The High Representative functions as the chief foreign minister of the EU and is basically a glorified geography teacher. The Council of the European Union also has a rotating six-month presidency that is held by one member state government at a time. At the time this video was published, Belgium currently holds the presidency. This presidency chairs meetings and helps set the agendas.
Confused? Yet, don't worry, it gets worse. The European Council is the next institution on our list, and no, it's not the same thing as the Council of the European Union. Hey, the names are less confusing in German, probably. I don't know, I don't speak German. The European Council is made up of the member states' heads of state or government, such as the President of France, the Chancellor of Germany, Germany, and that rat who controls the movements of whoever the Italian Prime Minister is at the time. This body sets the overall direction and strategic aims of the EU and is arguably the most powerful institution. This body also has a president who was selected by the European Council. This president doesn't really do much other than show up to conferences and photo shoots. It's a pretty sweet gig.
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The European Commission acts as the executive branch by implementing and enforcing laws. It can also introduce legislation into the Parliament. The Commission is divided into Directorates-General, which are basically government departments or ministries, each of which is led by an individual commissioner. The President of the European Commission is generally considered to be the most powerful office within the EU itself and is probably the only person whose name you might know. Ursula something or other. She was the antagonist in Disney's 1989 The Little Mermaid.
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The Court of Justice of the European Union consists of the Court of Justice and the General Court and serves as the judicial branch of the EU. It oversees the application and interpretation of European Union law. This one is pretty boring, so we didn't write any jokes for it.
The European Central Bank sets the monetary policy for the EU members that use the euro as their currency. The European Central Bank is one of the few institutions not located in Brussels. Instead, it's headquartered in Frankfurt, Germany, because some very wise leaders gambled that they could temper German power, but not Belgian incompetence.
Finally, the European Court of Auditors, the least well-known and significant institution, ensures that European taxpayer money is spent properly and in accordance with the law and rules. As impossible as it may seem, these nerds are considered bureaucratic and dull even by EU standards.
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In theory, European law supersedes national law, meaning that if a member state is found to have national laws that conflict with European law, they must change it or can face legal action that can result in financial penalties or loss of things like certain voting rights in various institutions. In practice, many states often just pay the fines for violating European law. Wow, it's just like normal law.
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For over 70 years, European states have ceded more and more of their sovereignty and powers to Brussels to facilitate economic activity, foster reconciliation and peace among former enemies, and combine their political clout to remain relevant in a world dominated by countries far more powerful than nearly all of its individual member states. So far, it looks like stacking 27 countries into a trench coat to pass as a legitimate great power has fooled most of us.
The EU is often referred to today as sui generis, Latin for "of its own kind," because it has no historical or contemporary analog. Functionally, the EU is a confederation or perhaps some kind of proto-federal state. For illustrative purposes, we can imagine a hypothetical Federal Europe as something like a United States of Europe, where each individual country assumes a role similar to an American state, and the EU functions like the US federal government. As an example to our Dutch viewers, you can imagine yourselves as the Kansas of Europe, but with a coastline and hookers instead of boredom and cornfields.
European states may never actually take that final explicit step toward creating a federal Europe because lingering nationalist sentiments and perceived cultural differences remain major obstacles. Seriously, you guys claim to be so different from each other, but the main difference among you is what kind of cheese you eat with breakfast. The EU has all of the trappings of a superpower except for political unification. And while this humble YouTuber supports the creation of a federal Europe, it's up to Europeans to decide whether they want to exert their influence in a more cohesive and potent manner.
The Europe of today looks closer than it ever has to being some kind of singular unit, organized chiefly within the structure of the European Union. It is genuinely the best thing to ever happen to European politics in history, and I will gladly die on that hill. The EU, like any polity, has its shortcomings and faults, but for a continent whose pastime for the past several thousand years has been murdering each other in increasingly inventive ways, it's something to be cherished, nurtured, and expanded.
So, to circle back to that question Kissinger once asked, "Who do I call when I want to talk to Europe?" we can now definitively say, "I don't know." It's still so complicated. Let's say Endora.
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