Transcription
how you communicate, make decisions or inspire others.
Um, I mean, as I said, I feel light on doing things or lighter, which means I and because I'm also feeling more confident on my on my skills. I'm not holding myself and I I let things go. And I see others saying, "Oh, that was a good idea." or or people saying, "Hey, I don't agree with you." And then we just go in this conversation. Okay, why not? What do you do? So, we get to faster results.
Um and and it's more enjoyable for me to work with my team being it's my team of agile coaches or my peers. Um and of course, I'm still working on it. Certain things are still not natural. I I still need to do uh put some effort on it, but it's coming more and more natural. So the difference is that I end up influencing others because of what I say instead of holding it to only to me. And some of the things then I see them either repeating to others or >> the waves. >> Yes. Or they don't say anything that they agreed or not. But then the week after I see a communication, an email or something happened like oh actually I'm I'm guessing this is was after our conversation actually it made it made a difference. So this is the kind of things I see in not only on work also private life with friends with family certain things um they're easier the the fact of talking more about stuff makes things more more solvable.
So >> yeah and um about the in inspiration is there a different way that you're let's say talking with your peer team members or your reports which inspires them more? Is it uh from a different way of listening? Is it from a different way of seeing them? Is it a different way of showing yourself? What what is the real difference?
>> Good question. Um, I mean, because I felt this growth every day, I it's it's hard for me to spot what was the big change. I need to kind of go back and come forward. Um, I'm I I'm very passionate about things. Uh, I pick up something and I get really passionate about it. If I don't, normally I let it go or or people will notice that I'm just doing because it it's a checklist. I need to >> I will call it a bureaucracy because if I don't like it I will always say oh I need to do it but I don't want to.
>> So I think that this passion is is now more intense and I get from people the feedback that the way I talk and the passion I put on things becomes kind of what's the word? It's not a question of influ influencing them but it's a question of they get inspired or they get like energy from from the way I'm talking about things. Um and this is something that I have been getting this feedback more and more that that they see my passion and they get somewhat inspired uh or or triggered by it to also to also go after it. So >> nice >> which is good for me because then it's also easier for me to make my ideas >> move and move forward.
You don't know how often um I've had leaders uh come to me for help uh on that. They and the way they state it is sometimes a bit funny because they're like, "I don't know how to get people to do what I say." Like, and it's like, "Well, are you inspiring them? Are you noticing what motivates them? What gets them excited?" You know, like it's it's not just about telling them what to do and having them follow, right? It doesn't work like that.
>> No. No. No. And I I also feel that I hear people more. It's not about me dedicating more time to not speak and listen, but it's about I hear what they say. And in the past, I think they were talking and I was kind of getting some bullet points about it. And now I don't know things make more sense. So it's easier to understand them.
You can also most likely because you you know your layers, >> you recognize that there are layers behind the words of what other people say. So you may not know all of the layers right away, but just knowing that there's something behind gets you to ask different questions.
>> Yes, it's interesting because you said words and sometimes I spot in the whole sentence a word and say, "Oh, this is about that, not about anything else you're talking about." And knowing that allows me to either diffuse that problem that the person is feeling or just to go around it or to to ensure the person that that's not the problem. The problem is something else. And and sometimes I even feel that people kind of relax and they're more open to what we talk. So you even physically kind of say, "Oh, they're relaxed about whatever I said made sense to them." So those are the kind of things. And sometimes it's actually just a word.
>> It's just a word. And sometimes it's even asking somebody what does that word mean to you? >> Because sometimes the word has so much behind it, you know, and and then it's all coming like the value that they have is right underneath that word. And most >> hard conversations um because people a lot of people dread uh hard conversations and we tried to move towards courageous ones. Um, but hard conversations are usually not about what people think they're about. It's it's usually about that word or that that thing that they're missing. And they'll talk about all of this other stuff, but it's not even the topic. And you lose sight of why you're having the conversation.
>> Absolutely. >> Yeah. So, um, an important question. Have you seen any tangible results such as improved collaboration, recognition, confidence, balance in your work and life, maybe a promotion, pay raise from uh attending my program?
>> Mhm. Yes. I mean I I see I see let's split this in two in my personal life I am actually able to communicate better with my wife because certain certain things this part of listening understanding a word in the past she would say never or always and that would kind of trigger me like oh oh always this that happened twice or and now when I hear always my brain goes towards Okay. Whatever happened, it's it's annoying her a lot.
>> And I kind of diffuse the word doesn't matter at all. >> No need to write fight. >> Yeah. Oh, it's only 45% of the time. I mean, I'm very pragmatic. So, I go towards this this data thing. I don't need that. So in my personal life, in my in my professional life, I already mentioned that it's easier to communicate with others and certain things I see from my manager is he recognizes that certain things he always wants me to go further and more and stuff, but I see him recognizing certain things and trusting more. So I I believe that this part of talking back allows him to to talk and and a small incompetence. I'm also not saying oh he's my boss although if you look at LinkedIn you'll guess but anyways uh he said he said something interesting because we were talking and he said hey Mike I need you to tell me when something I'm doing is it to get related to you or to the team is not the right one. That sounds like a great boss.
>> Yes. And trusting me that part you wouldn't say this in the beginning probably to the mic before the program because I I was too closed and to shut I was shut down about things. So now with after the program this trustness is is increasing and I mean that's a a good example of something. So >> yeah and you're getting more responsibilities because of that.
>> Absolutely. >> Yeah. Yeah. And more work, which sometimes it's not as >> long as you can manage it, right? You know how to set those boundaries now. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. True. True.
>> So, was the program worth the financial investment?
>> Absolutely. I mean I mean it's it's always hard to put um a ratio of how good it was, but I would do the I mean there's a very good example. I did the program and then I did I did the 101 with you. If the program was not worth, I wouldn't do the program.
>> Okay. And many one-on- ones. So, you keep moving forward. So, >> or I will do the first ones and then get some excuse to not do the the remaining ones. And and that's not the case. And and as I already mentioned to you, even now that we're getting to the end of the 101 program, I will continue to touch base with you from time to time because I don't want to lose this this power and this energy. So, so this is super relevant for me. So, absolutely. Yeah. And in fact, uh, every great leader I have ever met has a mentor. We can't do it, uh, alone.
>> So, >> um, I already mentioned multiple times in work and stuff like that. Sometimes people talk and I say, "Yeah, I'm working with with my coach and I found lots of important things about myself that actually now allows me to grow faster." and and doing it alone. I mean, either it takes forever or you never get there because actually invisible parts, it's super hard to see if someone if you don't have someone kind of coaching you and and ask you the right questions.
>> Yeah. And um I mean even a professional psychologist or therapist, they have interventions with other psychologists even after they've given advice. And sometimes you just give the wrong advice.