Transcription
Once you realize that your brain is a third party, everything changes. Because one, you don't have to obey anymore. Two, as a matter of fact, you can argue. Okay, and interestingly, like I do, you can tell it to shut up. And there are many techniques to get them quieter. Right? I, I, I use two primary techniques. One is what I call the happiness flowchart, which is to go ahead with the direction of your brain. Your brain will say something to you. Uh, you, of course, you have to parse it out; that's the problem. When you keep it as white noise in your head, you, you don't really know what's happening; you're just constantly bombarded with those thoughts. That's what we call incessant, uh, thinking. If you parse out a thought, okay, you go through three steps. It's literally like a flowchart, and that little voice in your head is, in comparison to computer systems, so you can use a flowchart. And it's question number one: Is my—is—is it true? Is what my brain telling me true? Question number two: If it's true, can I do something to fix it? Right? Question number three: If I cannot fix it, can I accept it and do something to make my life better despite its presence? Right? And these are literally—even doing those three things or asking yourself those three questions—7 seconds between being upset and being happy, believe it or not. Right? And and examples are very straightforward. My daughter is arguing with me; uh, my brain will say, "She doesn't love you anymore." Is this true, brain? Like, if if you're going to make a claim that's going to destroy my life, give me evidence. Like, you know, she just hugged me in the morning; she made me breakfast; the, you know, we, we constantly send kissing emojis to each other. What are you talking about, brain? Right? If it's not true, drop it. Okay? You know, the economy is, you know, my, my boss is going to fire me. Okay, and it's true. Okay, so what can you do to fix it? Can you talk to your boss? Can you improve your performance? Can you look for another job? Right? The economy is going to, to be a little difficult. Right? It is true; I cannot do anything to fix it. The economy is bigger than me. Can I simply say to myself, "Okay, I'm going to work on my budget, on my spending. I'm going to try to, you know, sell differently; I'm going to change my product line." I accept that the economy is difficult. I call that committed acceptance. I accept that the economy is going to be difficult, but I commit to make my life better despite the difficulty. And if you just take those three, really, it's as simple as that. I love that 90% of the time you go back to either solving the problem, living with the problem, or realizing it's not a problem. I wonder how much emotional energy people have wasted on not asking themselves those three questions. Because we assume that if my brain says something, it's true. It's true. Yeah, I, I can tell you, and I really hate to make that claim, your brain has never, ever, ever, ever once in your life told you the truth. Not once. It's not because it's your enemy; it's because it doesn't know the truth. It tells you what it thinks is the truth in favor, in favor of your safety.