Transcription
When the sun is conjunct to Mars in synastry, there is a lot of physical attraction. The timing is very right on between the two people. So, that doesn't mean that everybody who has a Sun-Mars conjunction will have a sexual relationship or will feel a sexual attraction in romantic relationships. That's what it leads to. It leads to identifying the other person as having a lot of the same physical impulses, qualities, timing that we know is very much the same as ours, very compatible with what we've got going on.
So, the Sun person really filters the Mars person through their appraisal filter as, uh, as somebody who has such similar impulses and physical needs that there's just gonna be no problem in establishing a connection. So, we tend to, um, have a real flow when it comes to building a relationship very quickly. It's not the Iranian zing. It's not like we have a bolt from the blue coming out and, uh, sweeping us up off our feet. It's more like, "Hey, there's an obvious person that I know that I can flow with." So, it isn't the dissimilarity that, uh, we're drawn to. It is the similarity that we're drawn to.
So, we want to touch each other a lot. We want to have contact a lot with this conjunction. So, if it's a family relationship or a casual relationship or a friendship, we will find the other person to have a lot of the physical qualities that we value. Like, we'll find them to be strong, or we'll find them to be healthy, or we'll find that their square jaw just really exemplifies the gender we have ideas about the other person's, um, uh, well, just how they physically are. And those are good ideas we have. You know, they fit into our idea of what's strong, what is healthy, what it looks like to be a winner. So, we communicate a lot of our [Music] good assessments to each other, to each other in our behavior, and it makes us both feel good about ourselves.
So, um, [Music] we will do more things together in all types of relationships because our impulse to act is very, very similar. So, this is very, very similar to having the Sun overlaid into the first house. Although the Sun overlaid into the first house is a much broader thing that we're looking at, there's a general affinity for that area of life of the first house that the Sun is overlaid into. Sun-Mars conjunctions or Sun-Mars aspects are more about actions, behaviors, activities that are going to be very, very similar.
The sextile and the trine and the novile between Sun and Mars are very similar to the conjunction between the Sun and Mars. But we will have subtle differences in style that, um, particularly with the sextile and the trine, are not difficult to incorporate into each other's lives. So, we don't have the exact same sign like we do with the conjunction with the sextile, trine, or the other easy aspects. So, we have, um, harmonious differences. Particularly with sextiles and trines. Noviles are a little bit less known, but they still do show up as an enjoyment of each other's company.
So, with sextile and trines, we don't have any problem with speeding up or slowing down because we will have subtle differences when it comes to timing, urges, impulses. But because of the nature of trying sextile signs, that is not going to be hard to adjust to. So, we don't get on each other's nerves. And the way that we want to be appreciated when it comes to either the conjunction, the sextile, the trine between the Sun and Mars, the way we want to be appreciated is upheld by the other person. They are behaving towards us in ways that make us feel valid, that make us feel appreciated, that do not rub our egos the wrong way.
The easy aspects between the Sun and Mars show that temperamentally, we're very well suited. We don't have ego clashes. So, we don't feel offended by the other person. With the sextile and the trine, if the other person is going too fast or too slow, we do not take that personally. We don't take that as a comment on who or how we are. We are just happy to be cooperative. So, all of the easy aspects between the Sun and Mars indicate an ego cooperation. We're not trying to win against each other. We're trying to win together. So, it's more like we're playing with each other rather than against each other.
With the sextile and the trine and the conjunction, we can have a bit of friendly competition. With the conjunction, that we don't see with the sextile or trine. They're just really purely easy. But even with the conjunction, we don't tend to have the kind of competition that either one of us finds to be offensive or diminishes our, our ego expression at all.
When we have the square between the Sun and Mars, we see some very dramatic temperamental differences, differences in timing, differences in impulses, differences in how we can be aggressive, differences in tempers. So, we can flare up very, very easily with the square between the Sun and Mars. And we tend to act in more exaggerated passive or aggressive ways because it's very, very hard to stand down and allow the other person to do the leading. It's very hard to shut up and follow. And so, we have to, uh, sort of make ourselves go along if we are in the role of sitting in the passenger seat or being in the, the more passive role in whatever decision-making, uh, we're making. We're involved in.
So, it, uh, is not easy for us to sit on our hands and allow the other person to lead or to make decisions. It's just not natural for us to allow the other person to win. So, we can often respond to each other in very angry ways with this square. And the way that we make each other's egos feel is usually not very good. We're usually challenging each other's ideas about themselves. We want each other to see us in a certain way. We want to be appreciated in a certain way. And we feel like the other person's got the wrong idea. They're seeing us in a way that we don't want to be seen. And so, we'll fight against that. "No, I'm not that way. I'm this way." And that fighting only reinforces the other person's ideas about us that we don't want them to have in the first place. So, it's very futile, the arguments that we can get into regarding, uh, you know, feeling like we're being accused of somebody or something that we're not.
So, the more that we fight against that, the worse it's going to be for us. It just really descends into kindergarten kinds of arguments. So, we have to allow the other person to see us in whatever way they're seeing us in and not to go to war over that. So, we, we have to not fight tooth and nail for the other person to adopt the kind of self, the kind of image of us that they, they should or that we want them to. We just have to allow them to have their thoughts and their opinions and their images. And, you know, if they are accusing us of thinking something that we're not thinking or being something that we really don't agree with, we just get to remind them that, "Hey, you know, you, you have a right to your faulty ideas and opinions of me, and I'm not going to waste any time trying to change your mind."
It's a control of our own ego that we are developing with the hard aspects between Mars and the Sun. If we are focused on controlling the other person's opinions, or especially their images of us, their ideas of who we are, their assessments of our personality, if we're bent on controlling that, we are not going to get very far with each other. We have to really be focused on controlling our own tempers, controlling our own reactions, because there's this very impulsive need to fight for who we are with the difficult aspects between the Sun and Mars. And again, the more we do that, the more we are coming across to each other in ways that we don't want to be thought of.
So, it's patience and the allowance for other people to see us in whichever way they see us. And to know that the proof is in the pudding. The proof of who we are is in our behavior. So, um, it will make us grow into adults if we're handling the square well. Because it just, when it's, when it's not handled well, it just produces the most infantile kind of behaviors and arguments and stalemates between two people. And it does not bring each other to feel more respect for the other person. And it's that respect we're continually fighting for. But the more we fight, the less we get it. So, we win by not fighting with this square. And it is so hard to do. It is so hard to have someone like tell us that they know that we're thinking this or that, and then to not try to prove that, "Hey, you know what? You don't live in my head. That's not what I'm thinking." But as soon as we pick up that fight, as soon as we start to defend ourselves, we've lost.
So, we win by not fighting with these hard aspects between the Sun and Mars. We win by controlling our own ego impulse to reach out and defend ourselves.
The opposition between the Sun and Mars can be very good for many, many people. It can bring up some friction and some confrontation. But many, many people enjoy the opposition because the assertive qualities that their Sun signs lack are very much made up for in the other person's opposing qualities. So, there's a good give and take that can come between the Sun and Mars, more like a sparring rather than the fighting that we see with the square between the Sun and Mars. So, for some people, they can really like the energy that pings back and forth between the two of them.
If we have a Sun or Mars that is easily offended, if we have in the natal chart to Sun and or Mars difficult aspects from Sun to outer planets, um, difficult aspects from Sun to Saturn, uh, or Mars to Saturn, Sun to Mars to, uh, Pluto, Uranus, that can make it hard to withstand the kind of challenges that the other person may issue to us. Because we're not going to do everything the same. We have complementary qualities, not the same qualities. So, we're like, um, peanut butter and jelly. We're different. We're very different people. But it's like what the other one lacks, the other one has. So, we have to learn to appreciate the other person's gifts. And a lot of people get to do that with this opposition.
It can actually take some time to reach an equal equilibrium, to learn how to interact with each other in ways that keeps us from becoming too heated or feeling offended. And a lot of people can rub each other the wrong way and experience a flare-up. But it's easier to move on from the flare-ups that can come from this opposition than it is from others. So, for some people, this can be a very confrontational opposition. If in their own natal charts they have difficult aspects from Sun to outer planets, it can be on the side of more confrontational than less. So, you're gonna have to really look at the, you're gonna have to look at the natal charts to really look at what each other brings to the table because this isn't an obvious aspect how this will turn out.
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So, um, there's a lot of people who just really enjoy the way that the other person is going to challenge them. And because it's a challenge that can often be issued with kind of a friendly wink, we, we want to compete against each other. We don't necessarily want to rub each other into the dirt, but we're looking for a worthy competitor. And that can be a lot of fun in a relationship for some people. And other people just take it too seriously, and they won't see it as fun. They'll see it as offensive. So, you just have to look at everything with this one to really be able to determine how it's likely to work out.
The IN conjunction between the Sun and Mars is an awkward, herky-jerky aspect. We do not have anything in common when it comes to the timing or initiative. Now, we can have other commonalities. Say, we have like, um, Sun and Mars in a good aspect on the other side. This is gonna make it possible for us to have some harmony when it comes to timing and initiative, sexuality, attraction. But in this area here with this IN conjunction, this will be a big chunk of the relationship where we feel like when we move forward, the other person moves backward. Or when we move to the left, they move to the right. It's like we just cannot get in sync.
So, there can be some awkward sexual exchanges in romantic relationships. And we can wonder what the other person is really attracted to because we can perceive that, you know, they're really after something that maybe we don't have. Or maybe, you know, we're really attracted to something that in time will come to see that they don't really embody. So, it's just really hard to predict what the other person is going to want, how they're going to jump, how they're going to react. And so, the two of us can find the other person to be very, um, awkward or, um, unusual, not like them. So, we can see the other person is a lot less or a lot more competitive or passive than we are. And it is a very weird aspect to have in physical relationships. And does tend to show itself very early on as a lack of attraction, a lack of a feeling of, um, you know, our flirtatiousness actually being perceived correctly or landing in the way that we'd like it to. So, there's a mismatch of, um, proactive energies and of sexual energies with, uh, this particular IN conjunction.
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