Transcription
Do you want to know how old I am? Do you really want to know? I am 95 years old. In fact, I am already halfway through my 96th year. Because when June arrives, I will be celebrating my 96th birthday. I will be entering my 96th year. What do I love most about being alive in my body right now? It is that I can still breathe with ease. I am happy for everything I have, when I know there are more and more limitations coming, more and more vitality disappearing. I don't want to just pass through this world. So I will do my best to use everything I have, to live in the present. I want to be a child full of curiosity and wonder. I am now experiencing my second childhood... my happy childhood. I once had a miserable childhood. I didn't like being a child before. I was always excluded. I was always pointed at. I always felt extremely uncomfortable. Awful! I don't even want to recall it. So I am having a great time now. Finally, I am enjoying my childhood. I was just learning how to play because I didn't know what playing was when I was little. I think playing means exploring, trying, being curious, looking around, looking carefully, living in your body, being alive, not being afraid, being free. It is about the miracle and mystery of living... discovering, exploring. "We shall not cease from exploration." "And the end of all our exploring" "Will be to arrive where we started" "And know the place for the first time." Those are lines from the poet T.S. Eliot. I once had cancer. And... later... I had surgery and didn't need any more treatment, so I recovered. So I felt I had to give myself a reason why I was spared, why I was reborn. Then, after many years, I saw that I had something to give, my radiance. That was something I didn't know about myself, something ineffable. It is a harmless radiance... harmlessness and harmony, and singing and keeping your spirits up, and joy and gratitude. We are here to experience the wonder of being alive in our bodies. To know that we are each other, we are all the same. We are all made of the same stuff... the scientific terms you know... neurons, protons, cells, molecules. We are a small part of this whole. We are little stars, we are dust. It is like being in a giant kaleidoscope... we are all little pieces, but every time you turn it, it becomes different. So you and I are made of the exact same stuff. But each person is unique. The only one in the whole world. So is each petal of a pansy. Everywhere I look I see another little version of myself. As if in every little area there is a person who is another version of me, made of the same materials, but put together differently. Exactly the same... you and I are exactly the same, yet different. Exactly the same yet different. I am the same as the tree, yet different. I am the same as the pile of garbage over there, that compost heap, I am definitely part of that compost heap, the one I pass when I leave my house. I am that thistle, I am that blade of grass, I am that soil, I am that black ant climbing a mile high... I am you, you are me... we are the same. Exactly the same yet different. What I am often thinking about now is not thinking about me being here, but thinking about my death. "We die with the dying: see, they leave, we follow them." "We are born with the dead: see, they return, and bring us with them." Those are also from the poet T.S. Eliot. I really like this passage. I hope my prayers are carried out so gently and so self-aware of my own departure with gratitude and joy. And with the satisfaction of having completed it, I will leave here, and all will be well. It is all a mystery. And to be thankful, I want to say thank you, I am truly grateful. Do not try to figure anything out or understand it. Just remain in awe. People ask me, what is the secret to longevity? What is the secret? There must be some secret. If I do that, then everything will be fine? For me, it is to go slowly. Go slowly and then you will know where to find the truth, when to speak your truth from your heart. Go slowly and then you will know. That is the only way to enjoy the day, in the present moment.