Transcription
A big, pink cake standing peacefully in the middle of nowhere.
Intro: Head 2 Head (Versus Mode) - Sonic Mania
Sonic: Hey, what a nice cake! I'm kinda feeling hungry now! So I'm going to check it out!
Sonic approaches the cake and observes it carefully...
Mario: Look at that cake! It looks really tasty; we should go get ourselves a piece!
Luigi: No worries, Mario! I'll make sure we both get a slice each!
Meanwhile, Sonic is still observing the cake, a little hesitant to take a slice just yet.
Luigi: Good day, Sonic! May I grab a huge slice of the cake? I am really hungry and I need it so I can fill my tummy with satisfaction!
Mario sends a flying kick towards Luigi, and Sonic witnessed it with pure shock. The music also stopped.
Mario: Luigi, you said you wanted to grab the slices for the both of us!
Luigi: Ah, no, no! Don't think it's gonna be easy to have the cake all for yourself!
Mario (sneaks behind Luigi): Hi guys! Today I'm going to prank Luigi!
Mario (punches Luigi from behind): You don't even deserve the cake!
Mario: You're better off eating trash instead!
Luigi (butt-attacks Mario): How dare you tell me to eat trash, you fat spaghetti thief!
Luigi: I'm taking that cake all for myself, and that is final!
Mario (punches Luigi again): Yes, eat trash, Lui-tree! Because you're going to get polluted from eating them! I'm taking away the cake!
Luigi (punches Mario on the torso): No way you're going to do that!
Mario (kicks Luigi on the face): I SAID I'M TAKING AWAY THE CAK-
Luigi (karate-chops Mario): SHUT UP! YOU'RE GONNA GET DIABETES IF Y-
Mario (punches Luigi on the face): I don't give a damn if I ever get diabetes or not, you little-
Sonic (punches both Mario and Luigi): NO! It won't be a 'piece of cake' for you! So if you want it...
Sonic: ...you both have to get through me first! (Cyberspace 4-D: Rumble Rave Remix - Sonic Frontiers plays in background!)
Sonic got pancaked by an anvil.
Sans: Sorry for interrupting your little argument. Let's settle this by dividing the cake each.
Sonic (punches Sans): Hey! Where did you even come from? That cake doesn't belong to you!
Luigi suddenly rams both Sonic and Sans with his go-kart!
Luigi: Oh yeah! I'm Luigi, number one!
Mario strikes back by dropping an anvil on Luigi!
Mario (to audience): Don't forget to buy our massaging chair at a discounted price to- (Wow, he took the chance to promote SereneSmooth!)
Sonic stops Mario's promo by punching Mario aside.
Sonic (to audience): My homemade chili dogs are tastier than Mario's spaghetti-
Sans interrupts Sonic's promo by punching him with his gaster blaster firearm.
Sans (to audience): I don't get why those three are fighting over a cake the size of a fountain. I'm sure that cake belongs to a wedding ceremony.
Mario, tied up with a taped mouth, being bombarded into oblivion by Luigi's tank.
Sonic (behind Luigi's tank): Time for you to perish!
Sonic punches Luigi out of the tank effortlessly...
...that Luigi was sent flying outerspace!
Where did Sonic get all that strength from?
Luigi jumpscare in space ;0
Sans is just standing there...
...while watching Sonic dodge all his upcoming anvils in Undertale-style!
Sonic: C'mon! Is this all you got?
Sonic: I find it funny-
Wait for it...
Sans (punches Sonic from behind with his gaster blaster firearm): Hey, please don't underestimate me like that! I was just trying to go easy on you.
Sans got shot by one of Luigi's lighting balls.
Luigi: You guys are lame and weak, so you guys need to give up on getting the cake now!
Mario (punches Luigi away): You give up!
Mario (to audience): That green plumber only knows how to rant.
Sonic dodges Sans' flying bones, Undertale-style!
Sonic (to Sans): You're too slow! (Flying bones still in the background.)
Sans (pounds Sonic with an anvil whilst transitioning to another scene, talking to Mario and Luigi): It's time to settle this, guys.
Sans: You both are literally arguing over a cake that doesn't belong to either of us.
Sans: Besides, I'm sure someone spent and threw their wallet with their heart to get that large (presumably) wedding cake.
Mario: Sans, you are a party pooper if you hate cake.
Sans: I never said I hated cake.
Sans: Well, I'm not sure if my bones would handle the sweetness of cakes or any dessert. Yeah, we brush our 'bones' everyday, don't we?
Luigi: Sans, this is not the time to talk about teeth right now!
Sans: I know, but it seems like you guys are having a sweet tooth to fight for it. Get it? Hahahaha!
Luigi: That 'pun-ny' skeleton doesn't even get the value of that precious cake!
Mario: Let's just get this skeleton out of our cake party!
Sans: Luigi, I literally mentioned someone throwing away their entire wallet for that cake!
Sans: I'm not interested in joining you guys, anyway.
Sans: If you guys are really that relentless in getting that cake which is not worth your time, gladly proceed to get yourselves diabetes now.
??? Who knocked Sans out?
Mario: Whoa, what in the world was that?!
Sans (gets up): Oh, that blur-berry rodent is at it again. Eh, it wasn't blue when I saw him coming at me.
Sans dodges an anvil about to drop on him.
Super Sonic: Now's my turn to show who takes cake ownership! (Sonic strikes back as Super Sonic, rejoining the fight?!)
Super Sonic desperately grunting while Sans is dodging his punches...
...and Super Sonic successfully knocked Sans out again with a heavy punch!
Luigi: Oh, that cake is right over there! I need to grab that chance to snatch the entire cake!
Luigi gets burnt to death by Super Sonic's big heavy laser!
Super Sonic: You can't steal that cake without my permission!
Mario (while Super Sonic dodged Mario's punch): That's not even your cake, Silly The Hedgehog!
Mario: Stop acting like you own it or whatever, it's not like you can claim it just like that!
Super Sonic (punches Mario away): Shut up, I found the cake first, therefore it's mine!
Super Sonic: You can't just tell me to screw off! I'm doing my job to protect that cake at all costs!
Mario and Super Sonic dodging each other's punches...
Mario: Geez, that stupid hedgehog needs to give up already!
Mario also burns to death by Sonic's big heavy laser.
Super Sonic: Geez, that plumber should go back to doing his job!
Super Sonic: That was easy winning the cake for myself! It's finally time I enjoy my sweet victory!
Super Sonic: I'm fast enough to save the cake from being eaten! Oh yeah, I'm going to have it all myself!
Super Sonic; Thank goodness I didn't screw up on that one!
Kirby, the true owner of the cake, carrying his sword to end it all.
Kirby: BACK OFF FROM MY CAKE RIGHT NOW!
Video ends with a black screen.