Transcription
Hey everybody, give you a second here to join me. It's another cold, cold day here. I'm all wrapped up here with my girls, and I end up with all three of them pressed up against me. I love it when I work in this chair.
So, let's continue with our series. Hey, Reene, a karmic relationship series. Twin flames, soul ties. These things tend to travel together. Sometimes we'll just get the karmic relationship. Other times, it's part of a process of healing and alchemizing, cleansing, um, emotional maturity.
So I wanted to focus on, hold on, Violet wants me to focus on her. Just one second. Come here. When to focus on limerence and obsession today, since this is so deeply present in not just alchemical relationships, uh, relationships who are dealing with soul ties or, you know, the subject of twin flames, you know, inner alchemy. But, uh, when we're dealing with relationships that are very low vibrational, also, you know, your good old karmic relationship that you just can't seem to shake, and you know it's not good for you, but [snorts] you just can't seem to let go, or you can't seem to understand it, or, you know, you're so attached that, you know, the suffering just continues.
Obsession and limerence too, but particularly obsession can really keep us caught in an unhealthy situation for a long, long time because it always involves some kind of unhealthy attachment and fixation. And obsession and limerence are a bit different. Limerence exists really as a function of a lack of information, or when we are caught in a cycle of infatuation. Obsession can exist even though we pop some pretty heavy bubbles of illusion, even though we might even be, you know, privy to some really dark things about somebody. Obsession can persist. Limerence often, not always, but often will abate or disappear, or we'll be able to understand it or leave it behind when we get more information. That is the cure for infatuation. More information because we're existing in a state of unmet potential and wished for potential when we're caught in limerence. Obsession, we can even have, you know, feelings of aggression, hatred, um, resentment when we're dealing with obsession, and, and it can still persist.
So, it's important to be able to differentiate between the two. And when we're dealing with obsession, we really have to look at what it is that we are trying to secure. What is it that we're trying to get? There's a type of, uh, of of ownership or attachment or possession that's very much driving us, and there's something external it seems that if we could get that, we could solve the, the burn, the year, the ache. Either you, when we're dealing with obsession or limerence, but it would be problems upon problems if we're able to get what it is that we don't know what we're in store for, or if we're not prepared for it.
So, there is a growing out of, you know, phases of growing out of the layers of us that are reaching out and wanting something outside of us, or somebody outside of us, so bad as they're going through the process of healing. And so I think becoming unhooked from the painful, painful fixation is by healing in layers, like layers of the skin. And we have to get right down to the bottom of it. Right down to the, the last bit of ache of yearning, because it's usually going to be moon, Venus stuff that's involved in these kinds of, in this kind of business. And we have to get right down to the middle of it, to the bottom of it, because obsession and limerence, it dra, it dredges up everything from the unconscious and from our, you know, what is inside of us. And that's why it doesn't make any sense. It's very much an unconscious emotional state to be in. And so as we work through the reasons for it, we come to understand it, and it comes to have less and less grip on us. This is when we know we're really healing. We are getting down to the bottom of it.
Because when you really do get down there, this is when we start to give to that inner child, to that part of us that's yearning, that's crying, that is starving, that's reaching out. We start to really give to that part of ourself what it is that it is looking to get from something else, and identifying that or that person of security, or is what's missing, or as the, you know, the missing piece, the perfect other. So we have to, ourself, be able to contact and fill that gap, that hole, because it's a very dangerous thing to put that kind of responsibility onto somebody else, particularly if it's somebody that's not returning their feelings, or it's not a reciprocal relationship, or it's somebody that themself is not prepared to have a relationship, which is usually the case when we have this kind of happening in our life. I mean, it's usually not the healthy person that is available to us and, you know, on our side and that has our best interest in mind that we have limerent or obsessive feelings for.
And so we have to come to a place where we're able to do for that ache inside of us, ourself, what we want that other to do, because it's a very risky thing to outsource that, because that, that is an anchor that is not a safe anchor. So when we come into wholeness, because that's really what it is, it's limerence and obsession are a symptom of being fractured, or of emotional immaturity, or of a having a wounded inner child, and seeing something outside of ourself that we see as the cure, as the, what we need in order to be whole or healed. And sometimes that person or, you know, that object of our affection, sometimes they can show up in a way that can be a good, healthy, reciprocal give and take. Typically, that isn't going to happen until we ourselves, that if that happens at all, because there's no guarantees on the alchemical journey, if we ourselves are able to do the work involved in order to be that whole, complete person, to be who it is that we would like to be with, or to be somebody that we would legitimately like to be with, are proud of who we are. We know that we are a good choice. We trust ourself. We have confidence that what we're offering is good stuff.
When we really come to that place, that ache, that emptiness, that longing, it dissipates because we ourselves are able to respond to our own feelings and our needs and take care of ourselves in pre, in ways that previously we were not doing when we were still reaching out. So we have to go through the motions of understanding how are we not taking care of ourselves? How are we focusing energy, time, attention on trying to get somebody or something outside of ourself to fill those particular needs that we ourself have to be able to prove to our own self that we can fulfill on our own. Come to this place of completeness and wholeness and sovereignty. Um, because getting that other person is going to be problems on top of problems if we haven't solved this longing within us.
Uh, I think I felt both obsession and limerence for a guy whom I parted away with a few days ago. Lack of compatibility was always visible, but hope, familiar, and passion was holding. That is an excellent point. Yes, we can have a mix of things. Hope, definitely a limerent thing. Passion, more along the lines of obsession that can also be there. If we're leaning hot for somebody, we can have a mix of emotions that are so intense that it, it can take a while. For some people, it can take years to get their focus back and to really pull our energy back and start giving that focus, those thoughts, and that attention. Giving that to ourself. That is so important when it comes to getting off that hamster wheel of really, it, it can just be an addictive chemical soup if we have limerence and obsession. Um, so I am proud of you, my dear. It sounds like you have come to a different place with this issue.
So, this can also be a very shameful thing when we're dealing with limerence or or obsession. A lot of us can feel shame surrounding this because it really isn't, especially with limerence. It's, it's not really explainable. A lot of the time, it, we can't justify why we think about this person all the time, or why we feel the way that we do. And if we're dealing with soul ties or twin flames, we can feel like an insane person because it doesn't, it does not make sense why this person out of all the people in the world is, you know, so is so heavy with us all the time. Heavily in our thoughts, heavily within our heart. And other people won't understand it. They'll, they'll tell you to move on. They'll tell you to just forget about it, and you can't. When you are in caught in an obsession or in a legit alchemical journey and you're in the beginning limerent phases of it, it isn't something that you can just decide to turn off or move on from because it isn't like other relationships.
Obsessions are different and real, you know, potential soul unions, twinflame things, they're different than what we're used to dealing with with normal relationships. We, you know, can typically just devalue it and move on. We just look at it like, oh, you know, they're this or that, or there's this or that wrong with them, or, um, you know, I'm better than that. And it makes it real easy to move on. You can't do that with particularly a soul tie, a twinflame tie, because you're learn, you're on the journey of unconditional love. And we learn, is it karmic or is it divine when we're on this journey? We don't know in the beginning. And there is a point where it can alchemize. It can start to change. But in the beginning, it is a soup of confusion. Is a soup of longing, suffering. And we have to get down to the bottom of everything that is involved in an unhealthy attachment to something outside of ourself before it really truly lets go. And we come into a place that we can love unconditionally and not from a place of need or attachment or trying to find some kind of security outside of ourself. We come completely out of old relationship paradigms.
If we really do get to the end of things here in a real, in a real alchemical relationship, that will not happen if it's karmic and it remains karmic. We'll come to a point where we realize that, you know what, I thought it was more. I thought it was divine. And I thought it had potential. And, and maybe it did, but it, it wasn't time, or it wasn't meant to be. It was a learning relationship. We come when we come out of obsession, we realize that, and we're so glad that we didn't get it because we realized that, wow, that had a lot of problems. But at the time, we feel like if it's something that we could just have, then we could have peace. No, it would be problems on top of problems.
So working through the sadness, working through the abandonment wounds, because that's a big part of getting caught in a limerent longing or dealing with the wounds of obsession, abandonment wounds, fear of loss, our parent complexes. There's a few things that we're going to have to come to understand about ourself before we really have the door or the invitation for real love, real unconditional love to start to build, to start to be there. But we have to learn about it first. We have to learn what it is. Because in the beginning, when we're in a limerent tie or an obsessional tie, it's not really love. It's potential. It's chemistry. It's addiction. It's attachment. It's expectation. It's illusion. It's not love. That doesn't happen.
Now, it, your inner self, your five-dimensional self is absolutely operating on a plane of love. And that's that soul tie that makes no three-dimensional sense because you're dealing with somebody that's not prepared, or not available, or sometimes not even healthy. And yet this persistent feeling of love, devotion, interest is still there. So at the heart of things, there is a unconditional level with which you're relating to somebody, and that may be able to be brought into three-dimensional reality. If we do come to a real alchemical end here, if we do finish the process, if, well, when, uh, because if you're on this journey, doesn't matter if the other person, you know, finishes or not. If you're on the twinflame journey, you're going to end up with something that is resonant with you, that does work for you. It may not be that person that sparks it, because they may not be the resonant match. It may be that we will outgrow that person because in learning about ourself, we grow, we mature, and very often the parts of us that are calling out for that external source of comfort, the person we're limerent for or obsessed with, it will neutralize. It will lessen. It will go away. And so we still have that appreciation, that, you know, unconditional love. But in a, a situation like that, it was a relationship that was meant for a season and for a reason. It was meant to teach us something and position us for something wildly better and more resonant.
So, we can't deal with this problem quickly. Either limerence or obsession. There's really no way out of it except through it. If you don't go through it, it can be something that you can be caught in for a long, long time. We have to go through the process of healing and dealing with what it is that is convinced within us. And it'll be multiple layers. It's convinced that that person is the cure.
So, I'm going to wrap up there for today and switch over to my subscriber group. Hey, Ariana. Um, flip over to my subscriber group. If you guys are interested in joining me over there, grab a channel membership right here on YouTube, and you can join me over there. Yet, a little, a little bit more, uh, intimate version of me, a little more relaxed. Um, so I will check in with you guys tomorrow, and we will pick up another section of this topic. You guys have a good day.