“Follow The Money!” Adam Carolla BLASTS Gavin Newsom, Hollywood Elites, & Cancel Culture

First things first, you don't need pharmaceuticals to heal everything. So, you've spent decades saying things that are seemingly obvious, yet no one listens. If you guys quit the weed, you too can become board-certified. I had a woman say to me once, she goes, "Why do you win every argument?" And I said, "Cuz I only argue when I'm right." A lot of people argue about [ __ ] they don't know about, and then their batting average is going to go down. Almost every time I tell someone, "Go do something," "Go paint your office," "Go wash your car," they inevitably, usually a woman, yells, "She doesn't need to do that." Like they don't need, and no one needs to do anything anymore. That's where we're at. So, do you think we have it too easy then? That people's lives are just a little too good these days? You could say good or easy, but I, I feel sorry for these people. Everybody under 40 I know is like, they can't change a tire. What would you say for the average viewer, other than minimum effort next steps that they can take to feel more fulfilled? Or they could just get a job. Just go get a job. How about that? I have an alternative. Get a [Music] job. Adam Corolla, thank you so much for coming on the Iced Coffee Hour. It is my pleasure.

So, you've spent decades saying things that are seemingly obvious, yet no one listens. What would you say is the biggest "I told you so" in your entire career? Well, I mean, there's sort of micro and macro. With like, I, I told you so for me, like there's sort of smaller things. Like I've been saying, people use too much soap. They wash too much. It's bad. You can't sanitize everything. Kids are getting allergies. Everyone's allergic to peanuts now. You need to expose kids to stuff, not remove the peanut butter from the house, and stop slathering on the Purell and the disinfectant and stuff. And stop showering so much. Stop scrubbing so much. These are like smaller things that I've talked about for 25 or 30 years, and everyone just calls me gross or weird or something. I don't know. People get angry when you just tell them, you know, you're, you're too clean. You're cleaning too much, you know? So that's like a, that's kind of a micro thing. Macro, I guess, would be COVID. School closures, masks, you know, everything. Everything COVID was another thing I was soundly attacked for in my opinions. But I, I've been right about everything that I talk about. It just, it takes a minute to come around. Like now, it's sort of, I've been saying all the DEI hires are bad and not going to work out, and affirmative action stuff, all, all things social and most things, uh, personal.

So, on the topic of the micro, what would you say is the proper amount of filth to have on on one's body? How often should Jack White his ass? Well, first off, Jack should never do it himself. Should Well, you're far too powerful for that. I have people. I could lend you my guy. It's a guy. Well, I say my guy, you know what I mean? Like, could be gender-neutral. It's fine if they are. I mean, yeah. Well, I didn't want anyone that I had an attraction to. Uh-huh. Doing it because I believe that would blur some lines, you know? So I'm heterosexual. So, yeah, I chose a fella because I didn't want to fall in love with my ass wiper, which has happened. It happened to Kimmel. It's happened to a few people I know. Interesting. Yeah. There's a song called "Don't Fall in Love with a Dreamer." Mhm. And then, but there should be a song called "Don't Fall in Love with an Ass Wiper," which is much more prevalent and more ubiquitous than dreamers. But is that so wrong? Hey, if loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right. And that's another song. But it should be called, "If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right About My Ass Wiper," is what it should be. You know, Jack had a question that went somewhat viral on TikTok a while ago. Do you stand or sit when you wipe? Oh, there's a standing and wiping. See? Exactly. People can live their entire life and have no idea that people stand or sit when they wipe. People that stand don't know people sit. People that sit don't know people stand. And it's 50/50. Which is closer to 30/70? It can't be 50/50. Stand. It's closer to 30/70. Higher than 30% stand. Okay, hold on. You've rocked my world. I would think almost nobody stands. But there's a, a lot of stuff I'm confused about in in our society. Like I'm always, I'm always amazed when election comes around and you have like Kamala Harris and you have Trump, and they're like the most different people on the planet. And you're like, where are we at? Well, we're 49.5 versus 50.4. Like, how could we be ex-cut right down the middle on like things of that nature? And standing. All right, so there's a, there's a physiological process that goes on with standing, which is a sort of half clinch. Like you, when you go up, you're sort of, you're, you're looking, you're looking for separation. And when you're sitting, it's a natural separation. Otherwise, you standing up. There's a reason you sit. In defense of the standers, not claiming which side I, you know, am involved with, but in defense of them, they say that it's more of a squat. Well, it's like a half stand. Listen, there is an emergency stand. That's, you know, a camping situation. A, somebody's just kicked in the front door of the apartment and you're, you know, there's a, there's a time and a place for a stand wipe. That's, that's a different situation. But it's not when you got all the wiping time in the world. I'll tell you the move. Really, the move is time it. So you take your morning dump and then hit the shower and just eliminate the wipe. Well, moving on from that, you've said that people lack common sense. But I'm curious, is this a new phenomenon or has this just always been the case? I mean, I'm sure if we contacted our elders through some modality, they would tell you about all the dumb people in their village. I mean, they used to have village idiots, you know? I think I, I now think like Los Angeles becoming a village for idiots. It's been literally, used to be one village idiot, now it's the LA City Council. There's multiple idiots. Um, so here's my theory, which I will be proven correct about. Um, and, and, and by the way, just so people know, I don't need to be proven correct for me. I already know I'm right with everything. But only stuff I talk about. Like, people go, I had a, I had a woman say to me once, she goes, "Why do you win every argument?" And I said, "Cuz I only argue when I'm right." A lot of people argue about [ __ ] they don't know about, and then their batting average is going to go down. That's all through COVID. All people did. That's all CNN did was tell you stuff they didn't know about, and now, lo and behold, they're wrong. But they shouldn't have said it in the first place. You wait until you figure out what's going on, be correct, and then make, make your statement.

So, what separates people that get it and those that don't? So, okay, so here's what's going on. In in this chapter of of our society, we weren't meant for this. We weren't meant for air conditioning and a sedentary lifestyle and all the things men don't have to do anymore. And all the things we've told women they never have to do again. You know, you don't have to wash clothes, you don't have to sew socks, you don't have to milk cows, you don't have to pluck chickens, you don't have to go down to the river and get water or clean. You don't do any of that. And guys, you don't have to, you know, you don't have to repair your roof, you don't have to wash your, you don't have to shoe your own horse or wash your own van or anything that's like, don't do anything. When you take people and you put them in an environment that's has a climate control and they're told just to sit there and stare at a screen all day and and do data entry, they start floating. They lose their attachment to the physical world. And the physical world is a, a, a constant reminder of common sense. So, like, if you work, you know, back in the day, 80% of people worked at a mill or at a logging camp or in a coal mine or something like that. When you work in that world, if you screw up, you lose a limb or or you die. There's just, that's just how construction works, you know? When you're building a bridge, it's all super, it's all gravity, it's all tangible, it's all practical. It does really care what's in your heart or who you know or what your sexual proclivities are. It's just mechanics and gravity and nature. And this is why people who fix things for a living and are like diesel mechanics and work with tools are more pragmatic than folks that go into government and just sit inside a cubicle and just sort of float ideas all day that'll never work. That it, like, you know, "defund the police." Like, okay, that's not going to work. It never was going to work. I don't know why you thought it was going to work. Almost everything COVID was a [ __ ] idea that some idiot had who was locked in something. Nobody I knew who worked in the trades cared about COVID. They showed up. They just went to work. They have to work every day. Like, if you are fabricating metal, you got a band saw or a chop saw or whatever, you're welding. I mean, it's all risk reward. Yeah. So we took everybody. We took them off the farm. We took them out of the tangible world and we put them indoors and we pumped in air conditioning and we put them in front of a screen, and they lost their ability to think. They do not have a relationship with danger. You need a relationship with with danger.

So, do you think we have it too easy then? That people's lives are just a little too good these days? Yeah, I mean, you could say good or easy, but I, I feel sorry for these people. There's guys that have zero tangible skills. They have no ability to to do anything. They're everybody under 40 I know is like, they can't change a tire. If they get a flat tire, they don't know how to take the spare out and put it on their car, which might go, "Oh, well, that guy will call AAA." So he's got it easy. But I don't think being skilless and lazy and stoned is is easy. I, I don't find that to be rewarded. Is that though society versus just a parenting style that maybe older Millennials are now, you know, getting into this and they're just teaching different things that's causing this? I mean, it's society. It's look, you know, it's society dictates parenting styles and maybe parenting styles influence society. But, you know, little stupid stuff. I have a son and I was like, he should get a job at McDonald's. And then every woman in the in the room was like, "He doesn't have to work McDonald's. He might make a ton of money." I go, "He needs to learn how to work." He doesn't need to work. Yeah, he doesn't need to work at McDonald's. It's true. I have enough money for both of us. He should work at McDonald's so we can learn to work. And that's perfectly fine with me. I, I wished my son, son of a rich man, worked in a McDonald's so he'd learn how to work. You know, it's like I say to people all the time, like, I, I go, "I'm going to go wash my car this weekend." And someone go, "You don't need to wash your car. Have the detailer guy come over. Take it to the whatever." It's like, almost every time I tell someone, "Go do something," "Go paint your office," "Go wash your car," what they, and some inevitably, usually a woman, yells, "She doesn't need to do that." Like they don't need, and no one needs to do anything anymore. That's where we're at. Okay, but your brain's turning to mush because you're not doing things. You're not doing simple tasks. How does that parenting style differ, uh, different between boys and girls? Um, I, I don't, I don't know that there's a big differentiation between boys and girls anymore in terms of like the parenting, you know what I mean? I, for your daughter, would you tell her, "Get a job at McDonald's to get work experience?" Cuz I feel like guys, it's easier to, you know, push him into like, "Oh, you got to go and do that. Go wash the car." Yeah, I, I think, I think there's a societal thing where we sort of said, you don't have, you know, you're not allowed as a male to tell a female what to do and blah blah blah, which is not good. But, and, and, but by the way, the most miserable people are just young women. So we sold them a bill of [ __ ] like they could, don't listen to anybody. You don't need to get married, you don't have to have kids, you can do whatever you want, you know, no man is in charge or whatever. You don't need a man. And they're all miserable. So it didn't, it didn't work. It was just another bad soci, it sort of, it was their version of "defund the police." Like, all right, bad idea, not going to work. But I'll just sit back and enjoy watching you guys scramble and fail. And so we're kind of that way, you know, dads aren't allowed, dads are allowed to sort of boss their son around, although that's, that's pretty limited too now. But yes, you cannot treat the woman the same, otherwise society shall shall judge you.

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What do you think is one of the biggest issues right now that's not being discussed? I think it's the sort of simple misery and repetitiveness in tasks that we've eliminated. It, it's the gravity part of life that we've decided to eliminate, and we're not really realizing that it's weakening everybody and hurting everybody. And I'll, I'll unpack it. But what I'm saying is is, first things first, you don't need pharmaceuticals to heal everything at all. A certain amount of just sort of miserableness is fine. It motivates. It's okay. You don't have to feel good all the time. You, you don't. If you feel threatened, that's on you. You need to you need to fix that. Take a Taekwondo class or something. If you feel threatened all the time, don't, don't take pharmaceuticals. Way too much with the pharmaceuticals. It, it's, it's like everybody under 40 I know is on something. Everyone's allergic to something. Everyone's on some sort of SSRI. Somebody's, everyone's taking something for something. It's nuts. It, it's insane. It never existed. Nobody growing up took anything. Nobody was allergic to anything. Nobody took stomach. Everyone's stomach's all [ __ ] up now. Like, I can't eat this, I don't do that, I don't have a tolerance. It's all [ __ ]. You did it to yourself. Get off the pharmaceuticals. Start hiking. Start sweating. Listen to classical music. Go hit the trail. I've been saying this for 30 years. People call in love line. My doctor, he wants to prescribe. Okay, put on classical music. Take a hike. That's what I would tell everybody. If it doesn't work, then take the pharmaceuticals. But they never did it. They just took the pharmaceuticals. Now, 30 years later, there's studies that have come out. Turns out hiking and listening to classical music is better than taking serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Oh, who knew? So you can file that [ __ ] under "one more thing I told everyone to do and no one listened to me." And nobody, nobody cared. But way too many pharmaceuticals. You don't need it. And, and stop with your stomach. There's something going on. You need to expose yourself to stuff, not avoid stuff, and not take a bunch of pharmaceuticals and bromides to protect yourself. And go break a sweat. Go hit the trail. And go build a treehouse in your backyard. Do a project. No one has projects anymore. They sit around, they watch Netflix, and they take pharmaceuticals, and they order Grubhub, and they're miserable. Don't do it. Just because, like, like, okay, just cuz it's easier doesn't mean you should engage in it. I've, I've never ordered Grubhub. I don't know how to order Grubhub. I wouldn't do it. I would either make myself food or I would go order a pizza or takeout. What I would go get it. And people go, "You don't have to go get it. They bring it to your house." I go, "I, I want to be part of society." Where I up and stuff.

What would you say for the average viewer, author, then going through life and maybe they're not super happy? Like, are there actual, like, minimum effort next steps that they can take? The small things? Small adjustments in their life that they can take to feel more fulfilled? You need to inflict some intentional misery on yourself. You need to put it onto yourself. The, the cold shower. The cold plunge is not there because I have inflammation of my joints. I don't have any problems with my joints or my back or. I, I really don't know the physiological benefits of a cold plunge other than they say they, they are. But I, I've never started taking a cold plunge because I have joint problems. I, I do it because it's miserable. I do it because it's painful. And not a, you know, I'm not a Navy SEAL or anything. I don't, I don't sit around and do push-ups in a sauna all day. I do plenty of stuff that feels good, um, and that I want to do. And, you know, food I shouldn't eat, I eat it. You know, I'm not, I'm not a martyr. I'm just saying, start challenging yourself a little bit. Start inflicting a little difficulty into your life. Start doing things that scare you a little bit. And if the idea of waking up every morning and standing in the shower and just turning on cold and blasting yourself with freezing water sounds miserable to you, then go do it. And, and, and things will start, start getting into the habit of doing stuff you don't want to do and stuff that may scare you.

You were part of The Man Show, which some people argue could never be done today. Would you say comedy is dead, or it's just different? It's different. And, and there, and, and you probably could do a show like that again today. I don't know. Maybe not in a mainstream environment, you know? But maybe some YouTube channel or something. I don't know. Uh, there has been a Renaissance of sort of comedy that is more freewheeling and sort of edgier and sort of male-centric and stuff like that. You know, the names, a lot of guys out there getting a lot of traffic who are doing that because it's just an answer to the political correctness and the COVID lockdowns and stuff like that pushed guys into that. You know, they got pushed into it. You know, it's that sort of Andrew Tate phenomenon of like, people are like, "Well, why are these guys gravitating toward Andrew Tate or Joe Rogan or whatever?" And the answer is because you [ __ ] pushed them to them by saying them they couldn't. Comes out with commercials talking about toxic masculinity, that shows two six-year-old boys just wrestling outside at a barbecue, and they label that as toxic masculinity. So, us wipes created a society that took normal male behavior and tried to criminalize it. And that's why Andrew Tate has a following. So they did it to themselves.

Speaking of that, there was something about Gen Z not approaching women at bars anymore. Like, that's not a thing. Like, it's such a high percentage. And even Gen Z women said that they would not want to be approached if they're out in public at all. And I feel like that's completely shifted. It used to be like, you would go and meet people at bars, or you'd go and meet people on the street. Well, what they did, or what we did as a society, and I remember this, and Dr. Drew was an early pioneer in this and deserves much criticism for it, which I do give him, and he accepts it, which is they said that going back to probably the '70s, but beyond, the way males behave and the way females behave, and it's been discussed that society would be better if it was more feminized. That that the male version of society is wars and clubbing women over the head and dragging them back to the cave and all the male. And, you know, and you kind of want, all right, like every movie where guys are fighting with swords and stuff, it's guys killing guys, you know? Like all the Hitlers and the Gengis and the Molinis, I, you know, they got one thing in common: balls, you know? So we decided that if there was a, if we tacked toward a more feminine-based society, that we would have a more evolved society, which wasn't, you know, out of the question. Like mathematically, like it made sense. Like they used to say, like, "If women were in charge, there'd be no wars." You know, and you'd go, "Okay, it's true. I mean, I haven't heard of women starting wars, you know, traditionally." So what we basically said is, "Women, you do what you got to do, and you do your own thing, and you do as much of it as you can, and you have girl power. You need to be empowered. Guys, you need to tamp it down and reel it in. Your impulses are bad and they're negative, and people get hurt. So guys, bring it down. Women, let your freak flag fly. There's nothing you can do that's wrong. Just go do it." And so we started down that road in earnest, like 20, 25 years ago, and we [ __ ] up our society because it basically turns out you need men and women, and you need this kind of a symbiotic balance of masculinity and femininity. And when you go all feminine, you will screw up society. As I'm sure if you want all masculine, like if you did it in a house, you know, there's a husband and a wife, they provide different skills and different things for the kid. And if they're both doing their job correctly, you should end up with a pretty good kid. Uh, but if you just decide, "Guys are evil, remove them," and then you go full feminine, then you're going to have a [ __ ] up kid. And by the way, be the same way if you got rid of the woman. And you just want, it's going to be this way with two, you know, two longshoremen are going to raise the kid. So our balance got [ __ ] up, and we [ __ ] up our society. And certain cities and societies like Los Angeles, it's a feminine society, and that's why it doesn't work. That's why we can't stop a fire or fix a fire. We can't do anything 'cause it's all female city council and mayor, and Gavin Newsom, by the way, you can be a dude wired like a chick. So Gavin Newsom's a chick. He thinks like a woman. And so, and Tulsi Gabbard thinks like a dude. By the way, you can, sometimes they cross over. But LA's feminized, and that's why we're floundering. We need a balance.

I'm curious, what's the last joke that you said that got widespread backlash? I mean, the last thing I said that really spread around and got a lot of people really pissed off was a tweet from 2020. I think it may have been around August of 2020. It was early-ish into COVID. And I sent a tweet out that said, "This thing is killing six people and old people, and the rest of you [ __ ] got played. And who's getting played next time?" And everyone went bananas. And then, um, I was told maybe I should take that tweet down by a few people. And, uh, Judd Appaow, the great Judd Appaow, who's a friend, he called me and he said, "You should take that tweet down," but only 'cause he likes me, you know? He saw that I was being attacked, you know? And I just went, "Well, listen, I'm not in the business of taking stuff down that's true. If, if, if, if I say something that's incorrect, then I'll take it down. But if I'm correct, then I won't take it down." So it kills old people. It kills sick people. It kills fat people. It kills people with pre-existing comorbidities. It does not harm young people who are healthy at all. Number one. Number two, you [ __ ] who bought in, you sheep, you cowards, you got played. They [ __ ] played you, and you bought into it, and you were cowards, and you should own that. And who's getting played next time? Because there is going to be another thing. I don't know if it's going to be, uh, a viral disease, but there'll be things, and they're going to count on stooges like you guys. Not you guys, I don't know what you guys did. But they're going to count on a large group of stooges to cast in their play. So essentially casting a play, they need tons of extra stooges. And everybody walked around who told me to pull my mask up when I was alone on a horse trail, or who drove alone in a car with a mask on, or who did any enforcement of this at all, you are necessary stooges for the play that they're casting.

Okay, but some people argue, I don't really care what people think, but it's easier to actually express that publicly when you're rich. Yes. And you, for example, make your living by providing these kind of like harsh, blunt, extreme, extreme to some opinions online. And so it's productive for you to continue doing so. But for other people, maybe where they work in a corporate environment where they can't share stuff like this, or people that just don't have money, how would you recommend them going about life not caring about other people? Or should they care? Well, and, and by the way, I, I know you, I think you just cut yourself off. It's not caring. It's not not caring about other people. It's not caring what other people think. Right? I, I care about my kids. That's why I wanted them to open their school and not sit home and languish. So when I attacked the school system, it wasn't because I don't care about kids or kids of color, kids. I actually care about kids. It's the teachers' unions who don't care about kids. And so that's why I attack them. It's always funny when they push it back on you like you don't care. If I didn't care about kids, I wouldn't be talking about any of this stuff. I, I wouldn't care if I didn't have kids who are sitting home languishing right now. I wouldn't. So here's how it works. When you work for a corporation, then that corporation can threaten you. Or an organization, you know, you're in a firefighters' union, you have to get vaccinated or they'll fire you. Or you're a cop, or you're in the military. So if you're part of a large group, or you know, you work for IBM or Monsanto or something. So if you work for somebody, then you are at the whims of whatever wind way the wind is blowing for them. You know, and the way the wind is blowing for them is is maximum profit, whether they're right or wrong. You know? So then they can basically go put on this gay flag lapel for for gay week. You know? And then you go, "I'm a Christian and I don't believe in that." They go, "Okay, well, we're going to fire you." You know what I mean? Which is horrible. But that's, we just saw it. Okay. So if you work in that environment, know there is nothing you can do. Now, if you are good at your job, the little secret is, is if you're good, you can never be canceled. You can never be fired. Even if you're a welder, if, if you're a kick-ass welder, you'll work. You'll never stop working. If you're, I used to be a carpenter. If you're a good carpenter, you say whatever the [ __ ] you want about anything because someone will hire you all the time. So if you actually have a skill, or you're actually skilled at what you do, then you do not have to worry about society and what you say. Now, if you're a mid-level New York Times journalist, then you better shut up. If you're really good at journalism, then you leave and you go to Substack and you create your own following there. There are a lot of people that just left the plantation during COVID and they're all just hung their own shingle and they're fine now. So, but you have to be good. If you want to be mediocre and you want to work for a large corporation and be mediocre, then you're going to have to eat [ __ ] and do whatever it is they want, whether you agree with it or not. I would argue, get good at something and get off of that plantation. But no, if you have young kids and you're working for the New York Times and it's 2021 and you got thoughts about the lab leak versus the wet market, you better keep it to yourself. Now, I disagree with the idiots who would fire you for having an opinion or being correct about something. But that is self-preservation. In terms of me, my, uh, opinions do not benefit me in terms of business per se. Um, maybe that may be counter to to what you may be thinking. But the reality is, is you will be shown the door in Hollywood if you have opinions that are counter to whatever whichever way the wind is blowing in terms of trans community or COVID, anything. By the way, COVID, COVID, I'd have people on like sets come up to me and go like, "I agree with you." And then like look over their shoulder because they're Hollywood elites. That like DM you secretly and say like, "Hey, by the way." And this is like massive movie stars and cele.

I'm curious who's controlling that? Who's that person who sets the narrative for Hollywood? Although, you know what? If you run your own business, you know, there's no better sound than hearing. And if you want to hear a bunch more, then it's time to get started with our sponsor, Shopify. For those unaware, Shopify is home to the number one checkout in the planet, with way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. As an example of this, Shopify has a service called Shop Pay that lets customers save their email address, billing information, shipping information, and more. And that helps boost conversions by up to 50%. And if you're into growing your business, your e-commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling, whether that be on the web, in a feed, in a physical storefront, or anything in between. All in all, nobody's selling better than Shopify. So if you want to upgrade your business, you could get started today with a $1 trial period when you go to shopify.com. All lowercase. Again, that's shopify.com to upgrade your business today. Shopify.com to claim that $1 trial period right now. Just do it. The link is down below in the description. So we've made it easy for you. Just click the link. That's it. And Shopify has been an incredible sponsor. I've been personally using them, by the way. I'm going off script here for years, like for the last five, six years, I've been using Shopify exclusively. Absolutely love them. I've had nothing but a fantastic experience with them. So that is my testimonial for Shopify, and they've really helped support our podcast. So if you want to support us, give them a shot with the link down below in the description. Thank you so much, Shopify, for sponsoring this episode. And now, let's get back to the podcast.

Here's how Hollywood works. The Super Bowl's coming coming up, metaphorically. And we got the Chiefs and we got the Eagles in it. And at some point, somebody goes, "Who do you like?" And you go, "I, I like the Eagles." And someone goes, "Yeah, not a good wrong answer." And then you go, "Why?" And they go, "Well, the guy's casting the movie, and the guy's directing the movie, and the guy, Ted Sarandos, is married to a Chiefs fan." So the guy who runs Netflix's wife is a hardcore Chiefs fan. And then you go, "Oh, but I like the Eagles." They go, "Yeah, I know, but his wife is a huge Chiefs fan, and Ted, you know, he's not going to hire an Eagles fan." And then next thing you know, magically 100% of Hollywood is a Chiefs fan. And you go, "Well, how could that happen?" I mean, how did 100% of Hollywood come down on? If you took the 10 bullet points of COVID, whether it was where it emanated from, was it a lab? Was it a wet market? Do masks work? Does social distancing work? Does Ivermectin work? If you took all 10 of those, Hollywood was 10 for 10 on every single one of them. There, nobody in Hollywood would, I think Ivermectin's a good thing. They're cowards. They're hypocrites. They're [ __ ], but they're also vying for a job that they don't have. That you have to be popular. You're not going to get a job. They'll throw you out. They don't need you. They don't need anybody. And Hollywood. But it also seems like they actually believe what they're saying. I mean, you have these things, the Zoom thing with like all of these actors telling you, you know, "Put on your mask and do this and do that." And I don't even have a strong opinion on COVID. But it was interesting that it seemed like they're so passionate about it. They go to these awards ceremonies, and when they have the mic finally in their hands, they go, and they want to share their political agenda. And I'm like, "Well, I, I feel like no one's forcing you to do that." Let's go back to Ted Sarandos and Netflix and his wife, who's a huge Chiefs fan, right? You could say, "I'm an Eagles fan," and tell Ted and tell his wife, "I'm a huge Eagles fan." In which case, you'll never get another job. Or you could say, "Tell Ted and his wife, who's a Chiefs fan, I don't really like football. Like, I'm agnostic. Like, I don't, I don't really care who wins the Super Bowl." Okay, maybe you get a job. Maybe you don't get a job. Or you could go get a Chiefs jersey and wear it to the next party that Ted and his wife invite you to, and then do a little soliloquy on how much you love Patrick Mahomes. And then you would get a job. Or at least your chances of getting a job would go up a lot more. So when you see these people making their proclamations, if you, if you are just silent about, like, let's just say COVID comes around and you go, "I have no opinion on it." If COVID comes around and you go, "This is [ __ ], you guys are getting played, and this is a pharmaceutical and a government grab because we're in an election year," then you're out. You're not working in Hollywood at all. If you go, "I'm agnostic about COVID. Like, I don't have strong feelings about it, but whatever," then you're in the middle. And if you give grandiose speeches about COVID and do all the [ __ ] you were talking about, then you get to stay and thrive in Hollywood and go to the next cocktail party.

Do you have a lot of Hollywood elites that reach out to you secretly through DM? So they just completely are unwilling, or maybe they do truly believe? I'm just curious if you have people that like hit you up. No, no. But so I did not help myself economically by removing myself from the mainstream of Hollywood. Yeah, but I, I make a, a fine living doing doing something else. But I did not help myself by by removing myself from Hollywood.

Speaking of a lot of that, you're very outspoken about California. If you were 25 years old today, would you stay or leave? Oh, I would leave for sure. I would not definitely want to. There's so many other good places now. Like, there was no, if somebody would have said to me when I was 25, when I was 25, you know, "Wyoming's a pretty nice place to live." I'd go, "Are you nuts? What do you do in Wyoming?" There's nothing. I, I thought people when I was a kid, I thought people in Texas just rode horses everywhere. And, you know, like, like I thought it was, you know, Hoss from the Ponderosa. I, I didn't know that there's a PF Chang's on every corner and a pro golf place. And, you know, who cares? Now you can just go wherever you want. Airlines go everywhere. Like, mobility used to be, you couldn't go places because you weren't that mobile. Like, you could live in Nevada, you could have a business in Los Angeles, you could drive back and forth twice a week or whatever. When I was young, we didn't have a car that would make it back and forth to Nevada. It would overheat. Like, you couldn't go to Nevada. You couldn't go from LA to Nevada in July. Your car would die in Death Valley. Like, literally just overheat, you know? Or you didn't have air conditioning or whatever. You just, you travel. I mean, I travel the country. And I really travel the country. And you drive around, travel around. You go to Provo, Utah, and you go, "I could live here. This is nice. It's clean. It's safe." You know, it's, it's modern. Like it looks good. Like Nashville or whatever. I mean, you go anywhere now. And I think California's, I think part of the problem with California is people figured out they can go anywhere. So what would you say are the specific top three policies that have actually destroyed California? In one of the books I wrote, I outlined a scenario which was that I used to come here via Forest Lawn Drive, which is a long stretch of highway that runs along the cemetery. And, and it's kind of long, you guys may know it. And it, and it doesn't have cross streets and stuff in it. So people tend to speed on Forest Lawn Drive because it's just long and is actually, there's no, there's rarely any traffic on it. People in LA, when there's no traffic, they're like, "All right, let's make up a little at this time." So the scenario is this: I would drive down Forest Lawn Drive. I would see on one side of Forest Lawn Drive a motorcycle cop who would back his bike up up a driveway in a shaded kind of wooded area near the Jewish cemetery, which is next to Forest Lawn. And he'd be back there, and he'd have his radar gun out, and he'd be waiting for citizens to speed. You know, I'd see him pull over soccer moms in minivans, you know, 'cause inevitably they're going 57 and it's 45, and they get pulled over. Okay, fine. On the other side of Forest Lawn Drive was many illegals selling flowers that they bought downtown to sell without a business license or any form of anything, just cash and carry. On the other side of the street, a bunch of illegals selling flowers. Two people who are going to visit their dead in a mausoleum. The city of Los Angeles, and in general, California is this way, has no interest in the illegal activity on one side of the street. That's illegals here engaging in legal behavior. Now, there is a florist up the street, and that person has to have all kinds of insurance and pay all kinds of taxes, and it's going to get sued by an employee for wrongful termination, and OSHA's going to get involved and stuff like that. They will be vigorous, um, very vigorous compliance for the taxpayer. And they'll be very, it'll be very vigorous for the soccer mom. But the illegal, no problemo. If, if you go to SoFi Stadium, you can buy shots of tequila outside of SoFi Stadium while illegals sell you Coti beer and ghetto dogs next to cops who are doing security. The city has declared a war on taxpayers and regulated them to death. But if you'd like to just sell food illegally, you can pop up on any corner or do whatever you want, and they walk right past those people, and they never shut them down, and they never send them a summons. And the city council agrees with this. They agree that you should be regulated out of business and taxed out of business. And but if you want to create a street black market where you sold food, you can do it. And by the way, every time you send a health inspector over to my business's business, you're doing it under the guise of safety. Except for you don't have problems with people just cooking whatever food they want on on a sidewalk and just selling it to people. No thoughts. So once the city, San Francisco's done this, and LA's done this, once you essentially look the other way for homeless or junkies or illegals or criminals or whatever that is, and you shine a spotlight on taxpayers with over-regulation and over-permitting and every, trying to manage every, every grain of your life versus illegals, go, go do whatever you want, or homeless, go shoot up wherever you want, or sleep wherever you want, then you've lost it. And, and LA, LA's there. San Francisco's there. It's just, it's the difference. It, look, if you're not a taxpayer and you don't have a checking account, whatever city you're in, they're not going to be nearly as interested in you as they are in the people who have a checking account and pay taxes. Can be compliant. Basically, the people that are compliant, the people that are compliant are paying them. So it's like, okay, who do you make money on? Like, when you're a city and you, you need to keep the lights on in the city, okay, who, who do you go to? Well, I would go to Mark Gagosian or Adam Corolla because those guys have businesses, and we could charge them for, you know, we charge them for permits, and we could charge them taxes, and we could charge them land taxes or business taxes or whatever. Okay, what about the homeless guy with a load of [ __ ] in his pants over there? Well, that guy costs us money. We don't, he doesn't have anything. He costs us money. So you'd have to take him somewhere and incarcerate him or process him or put him in housing or something. So that guy costs us money. These guys make us money. So then they went, "Well, why don't we focus full-time on these guys?" Because they make us money. Whereas the illegals and the homeless and the junkies, they cost us money. So you go, "Okay, well, that sounds like a plan." But you focus too hard on these guys, these guys start flourishing in terms of numbers. And then these guys go, "[ __ ] it, I'm moving to Nashville because I'm tired of you being up my ass." If you're not going to do anything.

About these guys because I'm running a business, and these guys are camping in front of my business. And you guys want me to pay your taxes for my business, but you will not do anything with these guys. And when that starts, that's the beginning of the end of a society. Do you think it's reversible? Yeah, everything's reversible. Do you think it's realistically going to be reversed? Maybe. You know, now that we hit rock bottom by burning to the ground, then maybe we might take a look at somebody like a Rick Caruso versus a Karen Bass and go, "We should start thinking about people who do stuff versus sort of ceremonial leaders." You know, which we do sort of ceremonial. Like, she's the first Black female. Yeah, she's in Ghana. She's not here. She's not interested in whatever. Yeah, aqueducts are boring, and fire hydrants are boring, and homeless is boring, and trash is boring, and potholes are boring. Going to Ghana and dancing, that's fun.

Do you really think that the Palisades and Eden fire were rock bottom? Because I could argue, based on what I've seen so far, that it can get a lot worse, especially when it comes to crime and homeless. The fires were kind of, maybe symbolically, a rock bottom. There's there's there's two parts to the fire, though. There is the destruction that that happened, uh, that may have been mitigated if they were, if we had competent people in place. I don't know that it would have been avoided, but, you know, I don't know, 30% better if we figured it out. But all right, uh, but then there's going to be the rebuilding process, and that's the part that's going to really piss people off. And that's the part where they're going to demand change, or they're not going to let you do anything.

So, from a personal experience, back in the Thomas fire, back in what was that, 2017, my house burned down in Ventura. And rebuilding the house was the biggest pain in the butt ever. I mean, I don't want to out exactly what we did, but they wouldn't give us an occupancy permit because we didn't have proper heating and cooling. But we had no other alternative because insurance companies only pay out for X amount of months for you to have some sort of temporary housing. And building a house with all the permitting process, the regulatory environment, the city made it incredibly difficult. We weren't grandfathered into a lot of the things that we had previously, 'cause the house was built in the '60s. But all of those things that we had benefited from, they're like, "Oh yeah, we're not going to let you build a house similar to what you had before. You now have to comply with all of these new rules and regulations." Meanwhile, we're not going to let you live into the house until you have AC. But those who know Ventura, the city was is like the most temperate city ever.

Well, that's the city. And that's also, by the way, the city's in the process of tearing down a beautiful treehouse that was in the front of the Simpsons guy in Sherman Oaks. So they're tearing that down. Meanwhile, you go two blocks over, and people are building homes, homeless people, out of plywood and yield signs and visqueen under the freeway on the sidewalk. So, you know, moms pushing strollers can walk the street. The city has no interest in these guys building illegal homes on the sidewalk, but they have a grand interest on people building treehouses for the neighborhood kids on their property.

Did you see this story? No. The treehouse story. It is insane. This guy, like 30, 40 years ago, uh, was one of the, uh, guys from The Simpsons. Made this treehouse, beautiful treehouse in the tree. And it's been there, I think, since like the 1980s. '70s? No, I think it's about, it's 20 years. 20. So it's been there. But the city now says he needs to comply with like zoning regulations for the treehouse. He has to pull permits. He needs to do like ground structural testing of the treehouse. He spent $50,000 defending this in court, and it's about to go to a jury. And he says, "You know what? I give up. I don't want to spend another $50,000 defending myself in a jury just to have the chance of keeping the treehouse." That's incredible. It's a treehouse. There it is. Right there. Yeah, I see it. That's beautiful. That's it's known as a landmark in the area. Jack, we could drive by it. I would love to see. We could film some.

My friend, uh, he has a house in, in a really nice part of Los Angeles. Next to his house is a two-story tent. He's lived in that house now for a couple years. Every single time I drive to his house, you have this massive, like, like tent mansion. Which obviously, don't, don't hate me, but like, looks really nice. And the person there is very aggressive. Every time I drive by, this has happened, not every time, but quite a few times, they'll come out of their tent and like start, like, yelling things. I've seen them yelling at people, pedestrians on the sidewalk, like obscenities. It, it's not a good situation. But this person, no one stopped them from living there. And it's like, like I said, like a full-on massive house.

Well, so what we just did is sort of illustrate with the treehouse, which the city is is very vigorous about and needs to come down, versus the shanty house, which they have no interest in because that guy is an empty bag. He has no, no money to give them. Now, my feeling is, is you have to pick a lane as a city. You can either not. Here's, here's optimal, and then unacceptable. Optimal is places where you would take down the shanty town that is built under the freeway overpass or built on the freeway or whatever, in the, you know, in the LA River. Optimal is that the city would enforce that and take down those dangerous structures where people deal drugs and insane people live. All right, take those down. And their policy toward a guy who built a treehouse on his own property would be, the guy's paying taxes, people seem to like it, and it looks good from here. He's an American. Leave him alone. It's his property. Okay, that, that's optimal. Middle ground is, um, look, we're going to let that guy in his visqueen plywood house build on a sidewalk. But if you want to build a treehouse, I guess that's your business. At least we're consistent. He'll, he'll build something. You'll build something. We won't get involved. LA is the worst, which is not going to do anything about the plywood house on the sidewalk. Full weight of the law on homeowner and taxpayer. That's why people leave. And they don't get it. And they somehow think it's, um, progress or something. But the bluest cities are the toughest on taxpayers and the easiest on criminals.

So if you were governor, what would you change? The first thing would be the the regulatory system. Uh, you, you can't make it impossible to build or start a business or whatever because of the regulatory. So over-regulated that people just physically leave. Like, that, that would be number one. Um, number two, I wouldn't let a handful of nut jobs like the Coastal Commission sort of dictate what's going on all up and down the coast of California. You have eight or nine crazy partisan nut jobs canceling billion-dollar projects for desalinization plants and things like that because there's a handful of partisan hacks who are angry at their stepdad, and they're going to, they're going to ruin everything for everyone else. That would be it.

Um, I would basically do what the movie industry did. What Hollywood did. Is Hollywood had runaway productions. So Hollywood did what all, every Los Angeles and everything California did is they just got greedy with everything. So you couldn't produce, you couldn't shoot to film in, in Hollywood. All of the actors, all the directors, all the producers, and all of the crew, and everything that supports filmmaking lives in Hollywood. And they all went to New Mexico, Atlanta, Prague, or whatever, because it was cheaper to move everyone to New Mexico and shoot New Mexico. And now Atlanta and New Mexico, they have this burgeoning movie industry with all this taxes. Right now, they're trying, they're trying to get the tax credits. Right, right.

Okay, so at some point, the mayor of, of Los Angeles, they never say greedy, they just want like, "Oh, we made a few mistakes, and we like you to come back because we miss the tax base, and we miss all the ancillary business and support, you know, we miss the money." So, you know what? We've rethought some of our things about permits and unions and taxing, and we want to make it more hospitable for you guys to come back and make your movies here. And that's fine. That's a correction. But it's really hard when Tyler Perry builds 17 million acres in Atlanta to just get Tyler Perry to come back to Los Angeles. They forced these guys to leave. So Gavin Newsom, well, not Gavin Newsom, he's [ __ ] but if I was, if I was a governor, I would go, "Why? Why are all the car manufacturers leaving? Like, why is everyone taking their corporate headquarters? Like, where are they going? And why are they going? And let me get the word out. I want to make things friendlier for them. We will no longer call big businesses and people who create lots of jobs in the tax base evil. We're not going to, we're not going to put a target on their back anymore. We're going to focus more on people who are criminals and aren't paying taxes and are screwing up our cities and make things more hospitable for Toyota or whomever to come do business in our state."

Anytime you lament about the local government or the state government here in California, it gets millions of views. People love it. Has a politician or some sort of government agency ever reached out to you to say, like, "You know, can we hear your thoughts?" It seems like they're very popular. Uh, no, they're, they're not in that business. Don't, they don't listen. That's the one thing I've noticed. It seems like the government doesn't listen to what the people actually want, and they just tell you what you want, and it doesn't work. And they're like, "Oh, no, no." But then, you know, they, dude, it, people have gone off the, the rockers in Santa Monica. There's an initiative right now for marginalized cannabis users. What does that even mean? I don't know. But it's, it's on the city. Marginalized people disproportionately use cannabis or something. I, I guess cannabis users aren't like getting the support they, I don't know what it is. But that's, but that's an issue in Santa Monica. For marginalized, cars are being broken into, the homeless is skyrocketing. But that is the issue that they're voting on. And also, by the way, Democrats are like, "Screw Elon Musk. That guy's an idiot." Okay, well, maybe has ideas, but no. All right, they're not into other people's ideas.

So you were very popular on Loveline for giving no-BS, blunt relationship advice. Graham recently got married. I'm single. What's your best piece of relationship advice that you could give? I would say, understand that women are very different than you. And you may be pragmatic, but they are not. And do not try to convert them to your way of thinking, even though you're thinking is correct and pragmatic. They do not feel that way. They do not think that way. And you're not going to win them over that way. To sort of understand what it is they want and try to provide it for them, even if it doesn't make sense to you. And then generally, they'll be happy and content. And if they're happy and content, then your, your life will be sort of happy and content. Yes, that sounds exactly like Graham.

How do you know where to draw the line? You know, I think there's a way to go. Look, uh, the last two times we went out to dinner, we went to the place you wanted to eat. So now it's time, you know, to go to the place I want to eat. You know, there's a kind of a math to it. There's a kind of a math. Like, hey man, that handbag is $5,000. Yeah, well, it is. It is pragmatic, and it is, it is, uh, logic, but it's also math. Like, like, like if you go, you just paid $5,000 for a handbag. That's that's a lot of money. We could have, you know, put a down payment on a something or whatever with that money. You can work a little math in every once in a while. But like, in general, they're about a feeling. And you can't go at them the way you want to be gone at yourself. Which is to say, uh, a woman is a cat, and a man is a dog. You know, and when I get hold of my dog, 110-pound lab, you know, I grab his head, I pull his ears, and I, you know, like, right? I rub his belly, you know, like that. We do that with a cat. They just, they just run away. Like, you just, the posture on a cat is not the posture on a dog. The cat, you just put your hand down, and they sort of, they'll sort of find you, you know, and they'll kind of push up against a little bit. If you come at a cat like you'd come at a dog, the cat just get on top of the refrigerator. So even though you're a dog and you go, "I'd love it if someone rubbed my belly," they're cats. So don't think they want the belly.

Funny, you mention that. Sometimes I'll come to Jack with problems, and I love it when Jack just tells me, "You know what? That's stupid. Doesn't matter. Just move on." Oh, there's a lot, a lot of moving on. A lot of moving on. Because to me, that seems like, "Oh yeah, that helps put it in perspective. All right, it's not that big of a deal." I'm good. Thanks, man. I talked to Dr. Drew about it a lot, which is essentially sort of sad, but you have to kind of treat like a special needs child. You know, you go, "I don't want to..." Him? Just people are people. And the comments are going to love this. They're going to love it. Well, you know, anybody who's been in a long relationship with a woman, any man will just go, "You just got to learn to just keep walking." You know what I mean? Like, like she's, she's going to do something. She's going to say something insane. You can stop and turn around, or you can just keep walking. And the smart guys just keep walking.

So on Loveline, what were the most common relationship questions that you would get? I remember a handful of calls over the, over the years, but I never really dwell on anything. I just would show up, talk. I would talk like no one was listening. You know, I always thought it was important to to talk like no one was listening because then you would be freed up. And, and then I would just go home. And I, and I never really wrote anything down or thought about it or or had any thoughts about like what role I played or who may have been affected or any of that. Just showed up, did it, turned around, and left. Threw us that way. You know, sometimes people come up, they go, "Oh, you're a big part of my childhood," or "You helped me," or whatever. And I'm always like, "Thanks." But I, I never gave it a second thought.

Now, you have quite an impressive career, really starting out not growing up with a wealthy family or anything. Do you think that young people today have any excuse for not making it? No, they don't. But I, I don't know that they want to provide an excuse for not making it. I don't know that their version of making it is your version of making it. Like their version of making it is, you know, a big TV and lots of pot and not having to own a car or pay a mortgage or doing, doing what they want, traveling. So, you know, your version, or a traditional version of making it, is a big home and, and, uh, you know, an adoring family and a, and a Ford GT40, or just a Ford GT 'cause we couldn't clear 40. But that's your version. Their version, your version is owning a beautiful and exotic sports car. Their version is owning no car and just Ubering and eating out and getting high and watching Netflix. That's their version of of making it. Sadly. I mean, it, it sounds counterintuitive to us. On the other hand, I don't know, maybe the joke's on us. You pay insurance, you know, you, you have to deal with the maintenance and whatever. That's not who they are. Younger people. So there is no excuse for not making it. If you want to work hard, or you're halfway good at your job, like, you, you'll excel. But I've noticed a lot of young men share no interest in making it. I, I've, I've never had one of them pull me aside and go, like, "Hey man, tell me what you know." I mean, unlike, unlike the city council, or like the city council, no one's ever.

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Let's assume that, you know, I'm, I'm 25 and I'm coming to you asking for advice as someone who looks up to you. What would you tell that person? Well, I, I would say, let's be realistic about what you're good at, and let's be realistic about what you're bad at. And then we'll have a third category, which is what you would like to do. 'Cause, uh, if what you would like to do is sing, but you have no ability to sing, then I'm going to try to talk you out of that. I'd love to be in a rock band too, but I don't have that ability to be in a rock band. So I would have loved to play for the Rams. Not good enough to play for the Rams. So let's figure out what you can do versus what you want to do versus what you would do. And I would probably say, "What do you do naturally?" Like, when you're just left alone, what do you, what do you like to do? You know? And you go, "Well, I like to go to the garage and tinker with things." You know? I'd go, "Okay, well, maybe you'd be best suited to a job where you were building things or on your feet using your hands or something." Or if you tell me, "I like the human condition. I mean, I read books. I like to, I want to know what, you know, I read Plato and Aristotle. I like to know how people work." I said, "Well, maybe we should start thinking about, you know, psychology or counseling." You know, like, I just want to know what you do first. What you do naturally. What you do for free. You know, what you do for free. Well, ultimately, it'd be great if you could get paid to do what you would naturally do for free. So let's hopefully there's something there. Hopefully we can take this thing you, you, you normally do, and you naturally do, and you do it. And, you know, nowadays, the world's your oyster because you could go, "I love sports. I love talking about sports. I'm in Roto leagues and blah, blah, blah." I go, "Well, maybe we should start thinking about starting a blog or something, or or doing an internet show, or maybe you could get a job interning for Dan Le Batard or something." Like, look, tell me what you do. And then I would tell you, "Look, you can do it, or you don't have to do it. There's not going to be any luck involved. All the, who you know, or he was born on third base and thought he had a triple. It's all [ __ ]. If you want to work hard at it, you'll succeed. If you don't, that'll be on you." I, I've seen a million people start from nothing, go to go to somewhere that's out of this world, and it's, it's all effort. It's all they did. But be prepared to work on some weekends. Be prepared to put in some long days. Don't have a bunch of rules. You know, don't show up to work and have the boss go, "Hey, could you empty that trash can?" You go, "That's not my job." Don't say that's not your job. Don't have any rules. You're young. Sacrifice. Do, do everything so that you're 25. By the time you're 35, you're set up. But eat [ __ ] for the next 10 years. No pride, no rules, just work. 35, you'll be in a good position.

From being a carpenter for nearly two decades to now having been very successful in the entertainment industry, how would you say your definition of success has changed? Well, okay, my definition of success is if you've always wanted to go to Ireland and you've never been to Ireland, then you're not successful, regardless of whatever your income bracket is. You know, if you have a, if you think, okay, I was a carpenter, and I was like, I love building, and I love architecture, and I love houses, but I'm poor, and I'll, and I, I don't have the opportunity to build my own house or work on my own house or do my own project. So if I could get into show business and make money, then I could get my own house, and I could then build on my house and do my projects. And I did that, you know, times multiple times. And then I also said, I like cars. I want to drive a race car. I want to be involved with that activity or that sport. And I love old cars, and I love tools. So then I'll, I'll do show business, and I'll make enough money so I can have some old cars and do some car races and have a garage and do some, use some tools. And so that was my definition of success. You take Jimmy Kimmel, he doesn't like cars, he doesn't like tools, he doesn't care about a garage. So him having a bunch of old race cars and not suit him, and it wouldn't satisfy him. He likes experiences and travel and cooking. And his definition of success is being able to afford a $10,000 pizza oven. My definition of success is being able to afford a $10 pizza and spend the rest of the money on tools. So the success part, and the success does not have to be grandiose. It could be, I want to be a great parent. I want kids. I want those kids to respect me. And I, and I, and I want to enjoy them. You know, and I, I want them to be smart and interesting and good. And, and so my definition of success is not yours. And there's normally some monetary thing that goes along with it. Like, yeah, you want enough money to buy a $10,000 pizza oven or a $2 million car, whatever, whatever that is. But, but some people's definition is just to be like a great school teacher and like a great neighbor and, and they love fishing. You know what I mean? Like it doesn't really cost anything. It's not really attached to monetary.

How do you instill those values in your kids? I don't. I can't. There is no instilling of values, really. I mean, my ex-wife wasn't, she wasn't down with my plans, you know, of whatever it is I know. So it was difficult. Um, so I just basically said, I'm not going to be able to really instill these values into my kids. What I shall do is I will show them through experience, how I live, and I will be an example to them. So I will try to take them with me on the road on occasion to do shows where, you know, I'd have my son, you know, go, "We have to show up for the early show, and then in between shows, we're going to go out and do a meet and greet and take pictures with everybody. And then we're going to go back and we're going to do a late show. And then, you know, we go back to the hotel at midnight." You know, and then the next day, we come back and we do the shows again. And, um, experience this, see it, live it. And, and, and, and by the way, if you see me, you're not going to be able to convince your kids to, you know, have a healthy life while you're smoking and eating a donut. If they see you getting up in the morning and exercising and doing a cold plunge or something, that'll be much better than trying to instill things. You know, my, my take is, observe me living a a positive life and a productive life and understand how it works. You know, and, and I'm always quick to tell my kids, I, you know, I'll call them. And I'll call, you know, last weekend, I'm like, like I'm in San Luis Obispo. I'm doing a show at a theater on a Saturday. I work weekends. I travel. Uh, I take care of business. And inviting them to, like I built a home theater, and I sort of recruited my son to, you know, help as much as he could. Like a little less talking and like imparting of wisdom, and a little more boots on the ground examples.

What are your thoughts about leaving kids money? I don't really like it. I, I don't, I really don't. I, I don't, I don't, I don't think it's a net positive for them. Um, having them have opportunity is is a good thing. Um, and, and I have, I can provide opportunity for my kids. Um, leaving money is, I, I don't think it's a great way to go. Uh, but it, again, society has co-opted every decent and practical thought I've ever had and turned it into. Because when you get divorced, there's a lot of like, "Well, what about the kids? Like, who's going to take care of these kids?" It's like, uh, I don't know. They can get a job. They can turn 18. They can get a job. They can get some roommates. I, they can do whatever they want. I don't, what do you mean, who's going to set them up? It's like, I, I don't own nobody. How about they get a job? How about they just do what every single person I ever knew, including myself, did? They just, laugh. They got a job, and they worked, and then they moved out, and then they lived. I, I don't know. Society is very much like, "Who's going to set these kids up?" You know? And then there's a lot of like, "You should buy them an apartment building, and then they could rent out the rooms." I like, "Or they could just get a goddamn job. Just go get a job. How about that?" I have an alternative. Get a job. Figure it out. Learn to work. And it's crazy.

Do you think it has to get worse before it gets better? Yes. Everything, everything has. All bad society ideas have to get worse before they get better. So it can start off with "Defund the Police," then it can go to like some community policing, and eventually someone, you know, needs to get stabbed, and then people go, "Oh, all right, maybe we should get more cops." That, that's how that's how stupid people work. But yes, it has to do that because these are people. Most of these ideas are pushed forward by dumb people that are that are sort of non-pragmatists and don't know anything and really have to physically experience the negativeness of whatever their horrible ideas are before they will come around.

What would you say is the worst advice that you followed? I have not received a lot of advice in my, in my life. I did not have a lot of mentors. My dad didn't tell me anything. My mom didn't tell me anything. Um, so I'm, I'm trying to think. Um, I really never got advice. I, I was just kind of, my family did not give me advice or have a, a wish for a direction. You know, like, you know, I'm a doctor and you're going to be a physician too, by golly. Like, I, or, or a do, do boat repair, whatever it is. I, I didn't have a relationship with my family where they offered advice. And, um, my friends were kind of screw-ups, and we kind of hung out. I was the one who was giving advice to everybody. Um, I took some advice early, like showbiz advice, like when I was trying to get into radio, and I, the a job opened up as the van driver. And I told Jimmy Kimmel, like, "I'm going to try to get that van driver job." And he said, "Don't do it." And I said, "Why? I could get in at the radio station and be there." He goes, "If you get the van driver job, then you'll be the van driver, and they're not going to want you on the air. You, you'll be looked at as the van driver." And I was like, "Okay, yeah, that's good advice." Um, and I never became the van driver. But I, I did not get a lot of advice from people, um, bad or, or good, per se. I just sort of floated through life.

How much is your rivalry with Jimmy Kimmel real versus like for entertainment value? Oh, I don't, we don't have a rivalry. He just thinks this way politically, and I think that way politically. But that's not, it's like saying he likes the Steelers and I like the Ravens. How big a rivalry does that not cause any friction in the relationship? It doesn't. Which is weird, but it's possible to go through life that way. I am curious. So we had Steve-O on the podcast a few months ago, and one of the videos we brought up to him was he went on your show and had a bit of a meltdown, so to speak. And he was telling us his perspective of what happened that day. And I'm curious from your perspective, what was that like for you? Uh, I didn't have real strong thoughts about it. He, he, we provided alcohol for him, he indulged in the alcohol, and then got out there and sort of probably did his version of Steve-O and what he thought Steve-O should be doing back then. Um, and then, uh, I didn't want him to hurt his foot, 'cause he was hitting it on a glass coffee table. I didn't want him to injure himself. Um, I also didn't want them to stop filming because, uh, I, I didn't know what we were going to do. We didn't have another guest. You know, I thought it would be kind of interesting to capture, uh, this, and, and so, so I, I didn't have big thoughts about it one way or the other. I, I, I did. I said when the show was over, the executive from Comedy Central sort of rushed over to me. She was a young woman, and she came to me and she said, "Well, we can't air this. So what are we going to, what are we going to do? We're going to run a rerun or tape a new show?" She said, "We, but we can't air this." And I just said, "Why can't we air this?" And she went, "This is a disaster." And I said, "10 years from now, the only thing people will remember from this show is this episode where Steve-O put his foot through the glass table." And I think I was right. You were 100% right. So I was like, yeah, this would be the only, the only memory this show is going to be this episode, and you don't want to air this episode. Uh, but I never felt threatened.

Or did you ever feel bad about, uh, highlighting Steve-O in this way? Because sometimes we'll have a guest come on and say something, and then Jack and I afterwards are like, "You know what? We know if we air this, it's going to get a lot of attention, but we worry it might hurt the guest." I was sort of in my office doing other things, and the producer was like, "It'd be fun. You know, make sure there's a big bottle of vodka in Steve's dressing room." So maybe he'll do something like crazy, you know? But I was sort of in my office, not, you know, it wasn't my idea. It wasn't like it was more of a production decision. We're like, "We'll do this, and that'll be funny." Which is the case often times, you know, when things go wrong or things go whatever on a show, you think it's like the host planned it out, but the host really had little to do with it. The host is on stage when it happens, but whatever the joke was or whatever the thing or the event was, that's some segment producer deciding this would be funny. Now, I knew about it. They were like, "We, we put a bottle in Steve's." But, by the way, I had a bottle of booze in my dressing room too, but I didn't have to drink it. You know, but I, I think they're like, "He's going to, he's going to drink, and then he's going to come out, and then hijinks will ensue." Like maybe it'll be crazy, maybe it'll be funny, maybe he'll show his ass or something like that. Was just, and it was also kind of the older school of late night back then. Like, you do The Tonight Show when Leno would host, there was a booze cart right outside your dressing room. Like they would, they had a, they'd have a booze cart. You know, and then you'd come there at like 4 in the afternoon and be like, "Can we get you a cocktail?" And they're mainly just trying to, the edge off, you know, loosen people up a little bit. But booze was kind of a thing, you know, on a late night. So like, I wouldn't have a drink 'cause I wasn't nervous. If I do The Tonight Show, and I didn't want to be a little off, you know. But if you're like a young starlet and you're a little nervous, then yeah, maybe have a, have a drink.

The table, really a rental? Yeah, everything is a rental. Everything. I thought you would own it. Why would you rent the table? Seems like a $100 table. Every, I did a movie, and they had coffee mugs, and they were rentals. And they just rent everything. They just go to a prop house and they rent it. And whatever you see on that set is is rented. It was crazy to me. Even, uh, when I got married, the wedding planner was saying, "Oh, you could rent the, the, you know, the cups or the plates." And I'm looking at the rental fees and I said, "Well, I could buy that for less than it would cost to rent it." So we're just going to buy these things and just give them away. It's cheaper to do that. Yeah. Well, I, I would always say that too. Like, we get to like season four of The Man Show, and there'd be like a foosball table like over there. And we were like wrapping up, and I was like, "Who's taking the foosball table home now that we're done?" You know, they'd go, "Oh, that's a rental." Be, "We rented a foosball table for 4 years." Yeah, like we probably paid $26,000 for a $400 foosball table. But it's what they do. It's got to be something for write-offs for tax purposes, you know, they write off 100%. Someone's making a lot of money on the back end. That's, that's, I'm sure it's a scam. But they rent. That's the answer.

All right, last question. If you were to die tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered? I, I think I'd like to be remembered as someone who was accurate, whether it was comedy or co or social thoughts or whatever. I'd like, I'd go with, I'd go with an accurate person who wasn't, you know, whose thoughts weren't sort of co-opted by whichever way the wind was blowing or whatever was a popular opinion. I mean, I definitely would like funny, but I'll take funny and accurate. Cool. Thank you. Really appreciate it. I've really enjoyed. I could easily talk for another hour. I mean, our outline was was quite long, but we skimmed through so much of this because we are just really into this. And I'm a huge fan. We'll, we'll do a round, we'll do round two. Thank you so much for coming on the Iced Coffee Hour. Yeah, come back. You know, take a few months off and come back. We'll do round two. Thank you guys for watching.