Transcription
You want to see what type of man he is. Is he going to be a whiny baby and just like nag, complain that you're not giving him sex, or is he going to respect your boundaries? And is he going to like honor you as a woman and be more attracted to you?
You should absolutely be testing men. And in this video, I want to talk about why testing is so important and how it goes back to evolution. Testing is organic. It's a nature, uh, animal, uh, for the attention of the female. And the female always picks the male that is the fittest, the strongest. And so many of you are so desperate to be married and to get the attention of a man that you really let him get away with everything. You don't test him.
And not only is that harmful for you because then you could end up marrying a dud, because this man can be with you for the wrong reasons. Because many of you that watch my channel are successful. You're beautiful. You have a lot going on for you. And often times the guys that you are interested in, or the men that you're interested in, don't have a lot going on for them. But you're so desperate to have this like validation of a man that you essentially let him get away with anything. And so he bypasses all of the tests that nature intended men to overcome, let's say, to make sure that he's like the fittest mate for you.
So yes, testing is so essential. It's organic. When you are in your feminine nature, you naturally test men. I, to this day, still test my husband. It is not, um, conscious. So this is something that like really needs to be understood. In all of my work, I talk about strategies. However, these are natural, like organic strategies that have evolved over time and are part of evolution and are, are actually in our DNA. So, like, they're in our body as women.
And the more healing you do, this is why I stress healing. I'm a broken record when it comes to healing. But you have to heal because when you are not healed, or you're not, and again, healing, there's a trajectory. We're all on a healing journey, including myself. You know, everyone is evolving depending on what state and what level they're in. When you have a lot of healing to do, you're not working with your essence. You're working with your ego. And when you're working with your ego, what happens is when it comes to men and all these organic tests that men naturally have to go through to win over the woman of their dreams, even in nature, when there's healing to do, you're not going to necessarily let a man like move through these tests. And a woman that is like organically in her feminine energy is a challenge and naturally allows men to sort of prove themselves to her.
And this is really important because so many of you are rushing the dating phase. You know, you rush courtship. And courtship was my favorite time ever, especially even with my husband, because courtship allows you to assess a man's masculinity. Now, I'm going to get into this in this video. Uh, but before I do, I just want to remind those of you that have not subscribed to my channel, and I know many of you have, there's like 57% of you that are watching my videos and are not subscribing or liking. And that is just like an easy way to also give back to me and to other creators that are creating free content for you. So please don't be a taker and also do your part by supporting those that are also giving you value. So please subscribe to my channel and if you like my videos, please like my videos, 'cause that also helps the algorithm and helps the information go to people that need it. And I always love hearing from you. So let me know what value you get from the video. Always when it comes to feminine energy and just nature and energy in general, if you're always taking, you're just like in this taking energy that's just really repelling. And so if you want to be in your feminine, you need to start embodying the principles that I talk about in Secrets of the Feminine Woman. It's not intellectual, it's embodiment. And so you can do that by supporting others and giving back. It's always like a give and a take. And that's appreciation, which is what you should also be doing when men are giving you value. You don't need to do much but be appreciative. And so for those of you that are watching my videos, you're not subscribed, you're not liking, you can watch all the videos you want, but you're not really embodying any of the principles. And it's also a nice way to give back if you're getting value from the videos 'cause it's free. There's nothing that is really required of of you guys.
So I think it's really important to test men. And in what men want, I get into testing and how to test men and kind of like what that looks like in various stages of dating. But it's, it's really important to make sure that a man overcomes certain hurdles so that you can assess his viability for marriage. And I think that most of you don't understand how difficult marriage is. It's not a walk in the park. It's difficult and healthy relationships are difficult. You have to put the work in. And if you want a conscious relationship, it takes work. And it starts from the beginning where you want to make sure that a man that you are with is in his masculine energy. And if you are in your masculine energy, you're not allowing a man to work for you. And you're not, first of all, you're not resting in your femininity. Because when you're really in your feminine, you naturally allow a man to work for you.
But it's really important in the earlier stages of dating, especially courting, to assess how a man is going to show up later on in the relationship and when things get harder. Because earlier on, if a man can't set up dates, is not willing to take you out, and he's already comfortable, what's going to happen into like long-term commitment and then into marriage? Because when a man is married, it's he's comfortable. He has you. He's one. And so like really embodied women and women that have high self-worth, even in marriage, know how to have checks and balances so that a man doesn't get comfortable because men are going to get comfortable once they've overcome something to get the outcome. They relax in that area and they move on to something else. It's just how men like conserve their energy. It's normal. However, if from the beginning you are focused on your inner work and you are showing up a certain way, a man will realize that, well, this is a woman that I can't really mess around with like I could with other women because she's not going to let me get away with things. And if you, you know, really study men that have a woman that they're very in love with, even into marriage, most of them will say that they know that their woman is not going to let them get away with anything and the woman is going to keep them accountable. And these are all tests that also go into marriage.
So, how do you test a man earlier on? Well, you test a man earlier on and this is like, I guess in the dating phases like starting on by allowing him to pursue you. Like look to see how he's showing up for you. Look to see how does he respond when you are not just like jumping to message him back and when you're busy and you can't meet him on a Friday night if he wants to see you Friday night. Like don't rearrange your life for a man. Let him work for you and let him overcome his own perceived inhibitions and like liabilities and insecurities within himself to be with you. Because a lot of men will, because they're so used to getting like quick wins with women and easy rewards with women. When a woman shows up that isn't going to give him that quick reward, you want to see what type of man he is. Is he going to be a whiny baby and just like nag, complain that you're not giving him sex, or is he going to respect your boundaries and is he going to like honor you as a woman and be more attracted to you?
Healthy men are going to be turned on by a woman that has boundaries and that doesn't give herself away. Weak men, whiny babies are going to complain. They're going to make you feel bad. They're going to put you down if you don't give them sex, if you're not physical with them. And they're going to play games. They're essentially going to play games with you and make you feel bad. Now, if you've done your inner work in this area, you're not going to be affected when a man becomes like a whiny baby. You're going to be turned off. Your body is the source of your feminine energy. So, your body, you have to have access to your body and your feeling state. This is why it's really important to learn how to not be so in your head and move into your body. And this is why embodiment is so important. So, don't just look at content. Find a few people that you like and actually implement the the teachings that they're teaching you in terms of healing because this is what's going to move you into your feminine energy. And when you're activated in your feminine energy, you're going to have body responses to things. Your body is going to be turned off by men that act like whiny babies or complain or let's say you're not ready to be physical and you're polite in the way that you say it and they play games or they pull back.
When you're healed, or you're healed in this area, because of course there's like different areas in our life and sometimes we can be healed in one area and we're making so much money and it's effortless, but in our relationships, we're not healed. Again, there's like a trajectory, but in this area, area, you'll know, okay, I'm healed and you have a higher level of self-worth when a man acts like a baby and you're completely turned off by it and you just cut him out, right? You don't need to move into this trap of, oh, I need to be nice and etc. Again, like femininity is not nice. It's having a high level of self-worth and being kind to oneself first. And then naturally, as an extension, the way that you treat yourself is the way you're going to treat other people. If you're not kind to yourself, you can't genuinely be kind to someone else, right? You're seeking validation. You're seeking, uh, attention and energy. So, it's not coming from, oh, I'm so kind. I'm so nice. No, no, no. It's coming from low self-esteem.
And so, earlier on, you want to see, is a man paying? And again, you know, I'm very traditional and I really believe that a man needs to be paying for everything in the courting phase. And you know, this doesn't mean that you don't offer to pay on a date. And I've said this in one of my videos and women got so triggered. But here's the thing. You want to be polite. You have to understand that a guy or a man you're on a date with doesn't know you. He's dating other women and he might not like you. And even maybe he doesn't like you, but beyond that, you're going to be able to see if this man is a provider. And so entitlement and expectation is not feminine energy. That's narcissism. And it's thinking that a man that you just met on a first date is supposed to pay for you. And I don't advocate for that. I always advocate to be polite and understand and put your put yourself in the shoes of a man and have empathy that he doesn't know you. So don't expect him to pay for you. You can have the standard of knowing that well, I want to be with a provider. I want to be with a man that's going to like take care of me, etc. You can have that preference. I have that preference, but that doesn't mean I have this entitled expectation attitude of every man I'm going to go on a date with to pay for me because you know, they don't know me. Maybe they don't want to pay for me. Maybe they don't like me. Maybe they can't afford it. And they're allowed to have that viewpoint just as I'm allowed or you're allowed to politely decline moving forward with him because it's not a match.
And so in this scenario, when you're on a date, ask politely, "Do you want me to help you with that?" Because that's the kind thing to do, right? The entitled thing to do is to sit back and expect every guy's going to pay for you. And I just want you to know that masculine energy men want to pay for you if they like you. But they also want a woman that is like humble and kind and not entitled in her expectations. And that is like a big red flag for men if they're on a date with a woman and she doesn't even offer. And offering looks like saying something like, "Oh, um, thank you for dinner. Like, do you want me to help you with that?" That's something I would say like, "Do you want me to help you with that?" And if he's a healthy, secure man and he likes you, he's going to say, "No, thank you for offering." And he's going to, of course, pay for you. And it's also going to make him feel good that you appreciate him, like you're thanking him for dinner. And you're also not being entitled. Again, you don't need to force outcomes with men because the right man and healthy masculine energy men want to take that role. So like, this is a test. This is how you organically test men and this is again not coming from strategy. I mean, hopefully you were taught to have values and one of the values is that you are considerate and you're kind and you know, you have like no expectations of people when you just meet them for the first time. Right? So again, everything comes back to us and the way that we approach relationships. You want it to be an embodiment of who you are. And if you have this attitude of every man I meet should just pay for me, now that's coming from entitlement, even though that could be a preference. There's very different energy there. And so I want you just to tune into the energy.
And so here's kind of how you test men. So you go out on dates with them and you look to see, well, is he going to be a provider? Like, is he going to, you know, take care of me? And you want to see this earlier on because earlier on, if you are making the plans on a date, so like you're leading in that way, you are initiating dates, you are helping men pay, what are you going to do down the line? Because then when a man is like, you're in a relationship with him, he's going to expect things to be 50/50. And so if earlier on you're okay with a man, you know, doing 50/50 and a man, you know, letting you pay and you're okay with that, then you're you can't expect that to change down the line. It's really important to test how a man is naturally without force and then to also move according to that.
So, here's the key because so many times women will say to me, "Well, I don't like that, you know, my boyfriend doesn't plan dates or he doesn't like make an effort, etc." And then I go back into their dating history and this is how he was from the beginning where in the beginning he suggested Netflix and chill and this is like the second date and you agreed and then of course he stopped or he didn't plan dates because why is he going to go to a higher level if he knows that your standard is here? He's not going to go to here if you're here. Like, I mean, he's going to back to that idea of like least resistance, like he's going to go to the easiest thing to get like the highest like outcome because you set that stage. So earlier on, you want to just see, well, is he going to be consistent? Is he respectful? If you tell him that you're not ready for anything physical and you communicate that, like how is he going to handle that? Is he going to be insecure? Is he going to be a whiny baby? Is he going to, is he going to complain? All wounded feminine narcissism traits, by the way. I mean, that shows you how he's going to be later on, right? Um, a very secure, confident man when he knows that there's something different about you is going to be comfortable and okay with your boundaries.
Now, here's the thing. You have to show up in a feminine way. And so that this is why I'm always reiterating what your part is because it's really important as women to take control of our lives and like be very aware of the way that we show up with people and men because if we're going to show up in a bratty way, you're not going to get the result that you want from men or from other people. If you show up rude and entitled and mean and cold and arrogant, you're going to get an opposite response and reaction than what you would want. So, if you want love, attention, respect, adoration, well, you need to give that out. And so, when you are declining a man's physical advancements, you don't need to be rude about it. You would show up shy and like you're not rejecting a man because that's going to make a man's ego feel bad and all men have egos. They're, they should have egos. It's a protective mechanism for men and it's not going to activate a man's ego if he generally knows that you desire him and you want him, yet you're just not ready. So, there's a very big difference in the way that you're communicating when you're coming off cold and like strategically and like trying to play games because men can, men can sniff this and men know this. And this is why inner work is so important and I really recommend my inner work course. It's a 25-hour module course. It was the inner work program that I did and if you actually start doing the work from the course, it will change the trajectory of where you're going in your life. But as I always say, you have to do the work.
It's important to also test men because you want to test a man's strength, a man's resilience. You want to test a man's commitment towards you. And for all these reasons, you want to always allow a man to move toward you in the relationship phase. Because as you move into like deeper levels of commitment, if you don't test a man earlier on, then when you move into marriage, you're not going to really know how a man feels about you. And if you, if you pay for a man earlier on, if you make it easy for a man, you know, you put the down payment in, you do everything for him, then what's going to happen when you move into marriage is he's going to be overly reliant on you. You're going to be his child and the dynamic is going to move from parent-child rather than, you know, him being like a husband and like taking care of you. And this is why it's really important to test him from the beginning.
Now, when you've done that, even into marriage, women that are in their feminine energy will like always like step back a little bit to make sure that a man is leading. And women even into marriage and again, like healthy relationships take time to figure out because we live in a backwards world. Most men have masculine mothers and have been with masculine energy women. That's just the truth. They've been with women where, you know, that women that stroke their ego, women that tell this man how great he is, make it so easy for him that when they meet a woman that is high value or feminine, it's going to take time for him to see what works with you and what doesn't work with you. And if you show up genuinely and authentically and organically as a challenge by testing men earlier on, then into marriage, a man will like notice that, okay, well, this person hasn't changed. She's still the same. And I can't revert back to the ways that I was like with other women, even into marriage, when things get comfortable and it becomes easy for a man.
I hope you enjoyed this video. Let me know what you thought. Give me your questions like if you want me to expand on this topic and if you have any questions, you can definitely book an email session with me. Definitely book a call with me if you want deeper coaching. Email questions are just for quick questions and I will see you on the next one. Bye for now.