Transcription
Who would win in a fight? You or five gorillas?
For sure. A gorilla.
I really think you would win in a fight against five.
100 people will lose against the gorilla. One punch gorilla will break someone's face and brain.
I believe you can beat the gorilla.
I mean I don't really [laughter]. I fight the gorilla. If I protect you, I protect the people surround me. But I know I'm going to lose. But I'm going to fight him.
How much women is too much women? What about you versus 500 women?
If they don't at once, one by one, for sure I win.
No, I don't mean like beating the out of them. I meant like [laughter].
Now you're going to beat her.
I was like, I was like, what's up guys? It's Kazumi and I want to off Hm. What should I do about that? Oh, I know. I'm going to go tomate. Did you also know that Jerkmate is sponsoring close friends?
What?
Yeah. So, I think after this podcast, you should go check it out. Yippy, thank you guys so much for coming back to my close friends podcast where I bring my actual close friends into my podcast and we yap about some hot takes and what's going on in this tumultuous world. Um, first and foremost, I want to introduce my big guest, SARAH. [cheering] [applause]
HELLO. HELLO. HELLO. Thank you. Thank you. Uh, if you guys zoom in closely on her shirt, it says "I Kazoomi and all I got was this stupid t-shirt" and it's actually stolen valor because we had never.
So, you're a liar.
Possible. I don't
How do I have this shirt then?
My always pretty close by to you. In fact, the first time Sarah, Eric, Sarah and I met was in the AVN bathroom because my dress was stuck.
Yeah, we had I had to help you out.
And I my pants and I could not get.
You know what they say. happens. And thank you guys. We also have two amazing guests. Thank you guys so much for bringing ABGs back. TINA, [applause] I'm Yoshi.
Uh Tina, um what are you most known for?
What am I most known for?
Raving.
No.
What did you say?
What?
Raving. about one raper raper girl.
Oh, okay. Okay, cool. Well, I'm glad you're [laughter] not foring. That's great. Yay. And we also have two.
I I was I was in line. [applause and cheering]
Awesome. So, we are we are starting off strong. Um Sarah, why don't you hit it off?
Breaking news. How to fight back against AI/Grock undressing us. You guys have probably seen on the news recently or on Twitter or X. Um, Grock has been used to like undress women and you know their photos and everything. How do you guys feel about that? Are we pro against?
Yeah. Are you guys afraid of AI or or are we better than AI? I feel like we're better than AI. I feel like I could AI take a picture of you right now and be like, AI, could you sit on us's lap and it would happen in front of me.
But you don't need AI for that. You can do it. [laughter] It can it can happen right now.
Yeah.
Interesting. I suppose it could. What are your thoughts?
Block and
Exactly. [laughter] AI.
Oh, okay. AI is getting dude.
Yeah. I guess we could tell Gra to go get in the ass.
Maybe AI in the future will be like corrupted in reality. And I don't know what gender, but it's moving. You know, I might take care of it.
Yeah. When people are like, I have stalls. I like you could buy a road. It's way easier.
But that that would be hot if you see women in robots walking around.
They have that in Spain. I'm pretty sure there's like a robotic body.
Yeah.
I don't think it even needs to be realistic. I would like to like a a strange shape.
Thank you. Yeah, I like [laughter] it.
Yeah. Beep beep bop. All right, guys. Some of our fans have submitted some questions and they need some advice. Dear close friends, my boyfriend only wants to in three. Should I kill him?
Tina, thoughts?
No.
I think we should. We should.
Why can't it be boy, boy, girl?
Yeah, it should only be boy, boy, girl. That's the only type of that should exist.
I agree. Boy, boy, girls. I mean, I feel like
I like feeling like an Oreo sandwich.
Exactly. all the attention on me.
Yeah, you guys can all hop in. This is a conversation.
Women be greedy. You can have two guys at the same time. It's hot.
Yeah. Why does it have to be girl, girl?
I mean, listen, I don't describe.
Boy, girl,
boy, girl, girl for How do you like it?
Yeah. Boy, girl, girl. If boy, maybe my best friend. Another guy, I will shoot you.
Oh, okay. It's not gay if it's your homie. [laughter]
Yeah. Well, if it's the homie, like what if it's like your your bro?
Yeah, but bro doesn't need to touch me. Like distance one meter.
One meter. Yeah, it's you're you're European. So, yeah, you guys do meters like Yeah, that's instead of me. But, um I'm sorry, I forgot. [laughter]
Well, I have another advice that or person that needs advice. Dear close friends, every occasion my girlfriend gives me is and I hate it. How do we feel about that?
Like it's like your birthday and all she gives you is
is only
Christmas all you get is
Yeah. How do we feel about that?
Do you care if all you get is
I would care because I wouldn't like only like I I wouldn't want only her maybe her cuddles, kisses,
tension, other things.
Maybe
sometimes I would be tired going home back like seeing her legs spread like I'm horny. No, I would like to hug you and kiss you and spend some time with you.
So, a girl can be too horny and you'll be like, "No, I need
too horny. I wouldn't like it. I'm not going to lie. I need someone opposite of I'm horny. She's horny. It's going to be too much. It's going to be like nothing to do in the day. Just doing stuff.
Maybe the opposite. Someone like just introvert.
He wants to break them. That's what
Yeah, [laughter] we we heard about their little a little bow on her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it's fine also.
Sometimes.
Oh,
yeah. Yeah. Tina, advice for this poor person who only gets gifted.
She could put you like a little um whipped cream on it or something.
No, I mean like
So, what would you tell the guy who's who's like complaining about it?
What about taking him out to dinner or I don't know, holding his hand and making a picnic?
It could be nice.
A picnic activity time. I mean, yeah. the art gallery or something,
watch anime. As long as it's intimate, right?
Yeah. How would you feel if a guy only gave you for your birthday?
Wouldn't you think he's like homeless?
Damn. Can you take me out at dinner or let's like do an activity first?
Yeah. Such as, "What would you do if your kid became your job too in the future?" That was an unrelated question and I thought it was going to be slightly more related.
I'm not going to lie. If it's my kid, I is the way he should be raised. And if he chose to do that, then I don't mind. Just no drugs and no alcohol and protect himself. The rest I don't give. If he's happy or I'm happy, but if you touch my kid, I will touch him.
Like this or
whatever.
Oh, okay. [laughter] Consistently for sure and safely.
No, no need for safety for me.
[laughter]
Bring them to parties for sure.
What?
Yeah. Okay. No, I'm talking about the question was what would you do if your kid? [laughter]
So, uh, Tina is a and she also brings kids to party.
We love Tina. [laughter]
Me, Tina.
So, a freak.
So, the question is, what would you do if your kid had your job too in the future?
Honestly, I would high five them. Okay. Hell yeah. I mean, I guess like when they're like adults, you can bring your kids to a party.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's it could be a fun bonding moment like when they're older.
I would have to decide when my kids like 35 though. Like I feel like if they're like 25, you can't go to a party with me cuz we're going to probably same people and I'll be like there's overlap.
Yeah. It'll feel weird.
But I don't think I will have kids. I prefer to be a side character for everybody. When someone needs me, I'm here.
But I think your kids would be cute.
Definitely. If any women want skills with me, I'm ready to clamp the [ __ ] out of you.
Yeah. Does anyone want to raise their hand?
Raise your hand or I'm going to make a razor.
Whoa. [laughter]
This is This is intense.
Intense.
All right. Good to You have a hot seat. Go.
Tina, you once tweeted, "I love explain."
I need it every day. That's That's a normal amount.
That's normal amount.
How much How much do you want it every day? Every day.
I need a crack everywhere I go.
Everywhere. Did you get crack before you got here?
Yeah.
I poor guy. [laughter]
I need I need every day.
She's like always getting
rest. Go to the gym. Enjoy life, bro.
Like he needs to go to work, make some money.
Like we're going to go grocery shopping. Like there's like an aisle where no one's at. Like let's let's do a quickie right there.
My problem when I like to do Publix is I like to be fully naked. Like I don't want to do panty on the side. Like if I'm going to be in the grocery store, I have to do the full naked.
And I have to take off the clothes.
Maybe I'll keep the sneakers on cuz that's cool.
When I do public, I like to be a random girl. I don't know. And it should be like literally and then we don't see each other anymore.
Hell yeah.
Maybe maybe
I'm like he could be fathering some kids. we don't know about. Yeah.
They have good genetics for sure.
Sarah, I feel like you have opinions on this for some reason.
Um, [laughter] what was the thing again?
It was uh Tina saying she loved flame.
I mean, am I right? It's great. I mean, we all do, right? We all do for a living.
I feel like you do some pretty odd sex.
Odd how? I feel like the first time I saw you, you were showing me a picture of besides me picking my pants, you were showing me a picture of you in Detroit in like a dungeon and I I forgot like something horrible was happening to your.
I always love I associate with like pushing my boundaries. So I do a lot of BDSM sessions when I lived in Detroit. So and I still do, but you know.
Yeah. What's like the strangest little one? Well, there was one this one time where I um went and I stayed with a sadist for a weekend, like 72 hours. He had complete control over me and I couldn't say no to anything and he just did a lot of stuff to me. He beat the out of me.
I would make him clean my house.
I mean, it wasn't like that. [laughter] I'm not much of a chores kind of submissive, but I like to be, you know, hurt sometimes and see how much I can take before I say no.
She likes a breath.
Period. All right, Tina, take a hot seat.
Hot seat. See? Got katus. Gatus. [laughter]
Cuddle. She love cuddles. I know.
You say every girl deserves your wiener. What if she has no arms or leg?
Deserve your what?
Wiener. Yeah.
We were trying to be clean for the podcast.
Winner. Okay. And you said after
what if she has no arms or legs?
I think it turns me on more.
I'm sorry. I have arms and legs.
I did uh once before a girl on a wheelchair and it was really amazing because I had to shower her, clean her hair. It was amazing.
That's cute.
I love disabled people. I like disabled zombic everything is okay.
What about like never mind
then?
Never mind. No, I just I can't go there. But what about uh Sarah? Would you a guy who had no arms or legs or are you like a racist to no arm or leg people?
I mean I wouldn't consider that a race. It would definitely [laughter] be ableist. Um I think it would be fun. I mean no arms, no legs, but not no dick, right? The still there.
Yeah. Yeah. You can use it like a pillow. You're like
I can use it like like a like a little Have you guys ever humped a pillow?
Oh, yeah. [laughter]
Yeah.
Tina knows. So, yeah, definitely like that. I mean, there's definitely a lot of uses and as long as I do like to be touched, but I'm an equal opportunity [ __ ]
Does anyone your fans have
a lot of fans? A lot. What's the most memorable one?
I don't know. I have a lot of fans. Every girl I see, every girl she wants, everyone.
I a guy with stage four cancer. Rest in peace, Jake Marshall. But yes, but he his dream was to before he died.
So I gave him a on Ryan's podcast actually.
I love that.
Yeah. And briefly, we used all the funds to um help with his treatment. So he went from stage four to stage three.
Wow. A
I'm a hero. You're [applause] a hero. [cheering]
Wow. Kazumi using her for good. We love
Did you ever save someone's life like that, Gatus? If you're penis.
No, I save not with my but in real life. Yeah, for sure.
One time I mean I had I almost had the guy with um had like a micro I feel like that probably changed his life.
Like what's a micro like this?
It was It was like a button.
It was like a like a button and and bare ples. It was interesting.
Yeah. I didn't know he had that until I was facing eye to eye.
I also the van one time. He was like like this. Two minute.
Two minutes.
I always tell girls if you don't like the size of a guy's just put it in your butt and you'll love it.
That's a great That's a great advice. [laughter]
I mean, it'll help. All right, guys. Breaking news.
Bonnie Blue got kicked out of Bali. What are our thoughts on that? I mean, I feel like u a lot of there's a lot of uh sensationalization of all these news. Um but it does have real life effects. Do you think like it was right to kick her out or do you think
that it was like unfair?
Her or another person? I don't care. What I care is whenever you go, you have to respect the country. That's it.
Yeah. Factual.
I feel like you got to respect the country you're visiting to. Yeah.
You can be like go [ __ ]
but like respectfully.
Yeah, you can go sled mode, but respectfully, for sure. I mean, also it's like I've been in Bali a million times.
Like, you [snorts] didn't have to
I don't know. Yeah, I've been a Bali [ __ ] You just didn't have to do it like that. That was weird. But I do feel like Bonnie Blue has kind of become a super villain and we need a superhero to save to like like combat her.
What would be the superhero? Like how would be the
Yeah. Like maybe maybe muscles.
Gatus will slay her with his.
They don't need a thousand men. Only one man.
Yeah. I feel like also those thousand men have like small weenies like
one man. You know one punch man. [laughter]
All right. Hot seed. Who would win in a fight? You or five gorillas?
Six.
Five gorillas.
Gorillas.
Who would win in a fight?
Gorilla.
Who would win in a fight?
For sure. A gorilla. One will kill two.
I really I think you would win in the fight against 500 people.
Even 100 people will lose against a gorilla. Even 500 people lose against gorilla.
500 people against one gorilla.
One will break someone's face and brain. This is for sure.
I think 500 people could get one gorilla.
Mhm.
Tina, what are your thoughts on that um scenario by gorillas?
Maybe one gorilla versus gatus.
I feel the gorilla.
I mean, I've I've Don't fight, [laughter] please.
Fine. My English. Sorry.
All right. We have people who
I fight the gorilla. If I protect you, I protect the people surround me. But I know I'm going to lose, but I'm going to fight him. Okay. But he's gonna kill me for sure.
What about um maybe how much women is too much women? What about you versus 500 women?
What's your
500 women? If they don't come at once, one by one, for sure I win. But if they at once.
No, I don't mean like beating the out of them. I meant like [laughter]
I didn't even get that. And now you're going to beat her.
Yeah. [laughter]
I was like I was like going to beat 500 women period. Like how many women can I [laughter] be before I go down?
60 500, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
I can go very long 500. I don't know. But I would like to try 100 first. Run. 100
100. Yeah.
Yeah. Give me like 5 days. No, and let's do it.
I'm down. Literally, I'm down.
Okay. Yeah.
No limits. You sign contract. No. No limits. No. No. You can't say no. This is the contract. You take it to the end.
That's the contract.
Whatever you get.
I'll sign it.
Dear Sarah, tips to score a habit. Habibi. Most habibis are are horny anyway. So, you really don't need to work that hard to score any horny. As long as you're horny,
they'll come.
Like, do I need to say anything to them?
Honestly, no. Especially if you're a girl,
you're you're always in power. You can always
That's true.
have be careful.
You can score any Don't be careful. Use it to your advantage.
Do whatever you want. Be horny. Be a [ __ ] You are in control.
But I felt like a horny habibi wouldn't like a [ __ ] girl because they like are so strict. I don't know. Or like
But they're horny. No, they're not strict because they love to like look at look at him.
Are you a habibi?
If you're a [laughter] man, I give you advice.
Think with your head and not with your BP. Never. Always think with your mind.
Always think with your people.
Think with their mind.
Don't listen to him. I think
you usually think with this you will make you
I don't think mine I just think with my
with your mean a wrong path but a more fun one and a hornier one [laughter]
and that's my advice.
Okay, breaking news. Worst place to pick up someone. So let's say that you see someone that you're really attracted to. What situation would be the worst situation to go approach someone? Let's go.
Honestly, when I'm working out at the gym, I'm like all sweaty. I don't like when guys talk to me. No makeup. I I want to die.
I agree. In the gym, I will like
you're very beautiful and that's it. That's my max cuz I'm coming to work out. I know you're working out. I don't want to bother you. Even me, I don't want someone bother me. Just hey, nice to meet you. Maybe I see you for a week and then maybe one day I
I'm like trying to get a pump in, not a crack right now.
[laughter]
I mean, I feel like, but the gym is can be very horny because everybody's working out, you know, there's a lot of testosterone or whatever going through your body. And I feel like I see a lot of the same people all over when I'm going to the gym that I start to be like, "Oh, I can see myself having this." I start fantasizing about people, especially at the gym. I don't know about you.
I think the worst place to meet someone to have stuff is at the sex addicts anonymous meeting.
You know what? You know.
True, true.
Or uh
but I always meet people there.
When she's with her friends.
You don't think that's good?
No. When she's with her friends, probably one of them. The worst of them. Will make you tired. Oh, no. Sorry. We don't want to talk to you. It's always
really
the worst of the worst in the group. Yeah, definitely.
I feel like there's power in numbers that you could hit all of them.
I'll explain you. So when I'm with my friend, we're five and they're five. I will take the one that I feel it's going to block everybody. The worst of the worst, I will go to her.
The most horrible woman.
I will sacrifice myself for the whole group.
New insecurity alert.
Wow. Yeah. [applause] Truly. I was like, I guess that's why we talk.
The sacrifices you make. Really?
His bravery.
Thank you. Thank you for your service.
Wow. I I I will not talk to the most chopped person. Dear close friends, I've never been flown out. Am I chopped?
Low key. [laughter]
Wow. No, you're funny as I've never [laughter] been flown out. Am I chopped? Um, wait. English words. None of these words are in the Bible. It just means like a guy has never paid me my for my trip. Am I ugly? That's the English translation. Uh, and Tina agrees.
[laughter]
Um,
yeah, I mean,
anyway, so I personally wrote that.
That's awesome.
Wow.
Cool. [laughter]
I mean, I don't I don't think they might be, but you know, you you have the keys to change that.
I don't know how I I don't have the keys to change that.
2026. I would like to get flown out so I could be not chopped. It's my dream.
Oh, okay. So Oh, you wrote that because
I wrote all of this. [laughter] I mean like that was like an actual thing you wanted advice for.
Yeah. This is me uh asking the chat like, "Hey, how do I u become unshuffable?"
Someone needs to fly her out.
It's cuz I like Hawkeyes. I feel like Hawkeyes don't want to fly girls out.
That's true. They don't They don't work hard for it.
I would like a woman pay for my flight just to come visit.
What if she's weird? What if I'm like
No, but what if we're dating? When we we want to go on vacation?
How long we date?
A while. Like we like we have my
and he hasn't
that you know
someone we're friends more than friends if you
I think if someone me we're like we are going to get married
and this is it. Yeah, I'll myself, guys. Anyways, dear Sarah Arabic, you used to be faceless, now you're out. Girth master was the same way. Tips, do what you're comfortable with. I mean, listen, um, it's been great. I think I don't know. I don't know about you guys, but I feel like if you I watch a lot of porn. I like to see faces a lot of I want to see someone's expression like when they're having sex and when they're doing all of that. What do you guys think? Do you like to see someone's face when you're like watching
I do like their faces?
Yeah.
Yeah. Like how they're expressing.
I feel like there's a lot of value. I mean, at the end of the day, do what you're comfortable with, but I really enjoy showing my face because I don't have to be like, I don't know, so close
when I like to watch a single uh girl alone, you know, hiding in the ba in the bathroom or in the the in the car just doing it quickly. But she has to show her feet. No feet. I won't
I don't know where that sentence was going. Like she has to show her face.
Yeah. You know that like that turned me on.
I was I was if you were faceless I was feetless footless on Instagram for a long time. I would always censor my toes.
Really? Well, it's for the same reason. I just didn't think I wanted to show you guys my toes.
Toes? No.
Can you show us your toes right now?
I'm I'm wearing Converse. It's Yeah.
I mean, now you can Google my toes. I like you.
Okay, show us your toes.
I like having the socks on low key.
It keeps me warm. I keep my socks on during Also, usually
the socks. That's my good pee. I don't like socks.
Red flag. [laughter] Socks. Red flag. Take them, sniff them, and let me see.
It's my It keeps me cozy. I feel safe. Yeah. [laughter]
I mean, yeah. When you first started, you were like faceless hijab girl. That's like how I remembered you, but with fat. I still have the fat. Okay. Yeah, [laughter] I know you still have the fat.
Proof.
My fat. You want to see my fat?
Oh, she gave me vitamin B.
Vitam.
Um, well, thank you for that. Uh, what made you decide to What was the moment where you were like, I'm going to show my face?
It was actually at that AVN award where we met
the AVN AVN Award. Um, and I actually it was just being there. I think it I I've been a huge fan of porn for the longest and being at AVN seeing how close I was to everybody and everything. I'm like, "Oh, I just need to take that one extra step and push myself because I wanted to be in that industry, like actually be in that industry." So, I decided to take it off.
I find the hijab so hot and I don't know why.
Could be hot. I mean, not for me because I'm a little bit traumatized about it, but it's Other I think sometimes like uh little the taboo stuff is very hot.
I like a nun.
Yeah. Yeah, nuns are hot.
Yay.
Dear close friends, I think my boyfriend is really smart, but then I heard him read aloud and realized he can't read. W
been there.
He can't read was that would be like an instant turnoff for me. I'm like I can't look at you the same.
Dude, I've done many award shows. Most people don't know how to read. Like they're reading the teleprompter and they're like, and I'm like, you just have to read it. And I don't know how to read.
But I'm like, but how are you
How did you get here?
How do you how do you talk?
How did you text me? Like, what? Like, how are you reading? What the
How are you navigating through life? How are you still here?
Should she break the NPC?
He's an NPC.
Yeah.
Yeah. You don't know how to read.
I would love an NPC. cheat on him
anytime I want.
Well, I guess you don't care if they know how to read.
The more she
How would they How would they cheat on him? How would he know that you're you're cheating? He can't read. [laughter]
The more the more she's weird, I would love it more.
Like no arms, no legs, doesn't have to read.
NBC.
That's not what NPC means. But um yeah, [laughter]
it's like just give me a hole and I'm ready to it. Yeah. Have you used the fight before?
What is it?
The fight.
The the
You have, right?
I used the pillow when I was young so many years.
But not Have you ever like bought like a fight and Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or like you like the tank egg?
Yeah. Yeah. I like when guys have toys because I think girls are allowed and vibrators. Like I think a guy like if I open his closet, I want to see a pair of like I want
What if he has a collection of those?
Yeah. I want it to look like you have body parts in your fridge. Like why are these body parts? They're just these bodies when they're not here. I don't know how to clean them. That's just the gross part. [snorts] It's just like scoop it. Go like a real
Yeah. Yeah. But when I die hopefully like my sales go up.
Okay. Goodbye. Dear friends,
one v one match. Could you fight and win against your 2016 self? Say that again.
Would you be able to win in a fight against your 2016 self?
2016 self? Like 2016?
No, like the person you were 2016. So 10 years ago years ago
definitely
you you'd kill him.
I him.
It's not okay if it's yourself. It's just m
Yeah.
because he was immature. Now he's getting mature every time.
I feel like I feel like my 2016 would beat myself up right now.
Really? Yeah.
How was your 2016 line?
She was feisty.
Yeah. I I have kind of like lost the will to live lately. Like I like the 2016 me like she had bangs like this.
She was like heavy eyeliner.
Actually super hot.
You think so? I was I had pink hair, purple hair. I was always like this.
I was like I was so I was like a super feminist angry. Like I was like I would always be like actually
you can't say that. I think I said it like twice a day back then.
I feel like when [laughter] she was when she was broke.
Yeah. Also that was bro Kazumi.
I was like working at poker games and coffee shops. I felt like I could beat someone up.
Yeah. Like life was also like hardest back then. Like back then I was like couch surfing. Like I like was like going through a lot. Like me right now dude I'm a Yes. Like I like she would kill me right now.
Let's clap for Kazumi transformation. [cheering] [applause]
I'd clap old new version of Kazum. No.
Thank you so much. [laughter]
Sarah, do you think you would be able to destroy 2016? You
uh No. I I Yeah, I think I would be able to destroy her. She was a little insecure.
I'm I'm a way way more secure now.
You would go straight for the boots.
Really? One, two. I know all her weaknesses. Yeah.
I'm her biggest op. I'll take her down.
Tina, were you one of those naked poker girls 10 years ago?
Like wearing lingerie and stuff.
Yeah.
And then you would do like things in the bathroom.
Yeah. I don't know if you guys are aware, but when you're Asian, like your work jobs are so bizarre. Like you'll be like going you'll be doing like doortodoor karaoke rooms. Like you go door to door in the karaoke room and you'd be like, "Hi, can I meet you guys?" And then you do shots and then you just get by like all the Korean guys.
Yeah. Or you just offer them coffee like here you go. Here's your coffee.
Oh yeah. Yeah. In Oh, if you go to Orange County right now, you'll go to the Vietnamese cafes. It's all Asian chicks in their underwear serving like smoothies.
They have that in Orange County.
Huh? They have that in Orange County.
Yeah, you can go right now.
I I just my honest
It's Cafe. [laughter]
What?
Cafe. Cafe Star. I mean, it's like a Vietnamese thing. Like a lot of like the Vietnamese like they love like the naked girl cafe.
I love Asian girls so much. We can tell. All right, breaking news. What do we think about I don't know if you guys know her that Camila girl her courses.
I've seen it, but I haven't like seen her courses.
I just saw everyone on the internet being mad about it and I thought it was funny.
Who is it coming?
She You know those girls from the bop house?
You know,
you don't know. Except that she was quitting o, but she's still doing o.
She's hot. I want to live in a world.
She has a boyfriend. I want to live in a world.
Do you think I care?
Nothing is stopping. Not even a boyfriend.
Period. I want to live in a world where I don't know what the buff house is either.
Honestly,
that's true. Everything I learned about them was against my will. So, I mean, I don't care either way. I think that the reason why it's getting a lot of attraction is because people are really passionate about it one way or the other. If you really don't like it, don't talk about it.
Yeah, I didn't really understand the beef. I just saw like she was uh she wanted to teach girls how to make, but it was like $1 billion or something and then she said she was quitting and then she didn't. But I also was like good marketing.
Good marketing.
I feel like she's doing a really good job marketing.
Yeah.
Okay. I hate when people start like or whatever and then when they stop they convert it. I don't know in what version but and then they say gossip about the content creators like literally shut the up because your life is better because of that. Now when you're famous it's because of that not because of what you got to do right now. Right.
Yeah.
Or like when they change into religion
and a lot of people want to quit they say we're quit but they have an only fans running. So this is
Tina. I cannot wait until cuz every super [ __ ] goes for this moment where they're like ah I quit porn. Now I like uh worship God or whatever. I I can't wait for my nun moment where I'm like you know what I guess I'm a god person. But it's not real for sure. They're always I feel like like of course you're not like
it must be marketing like whenever they're like super like
ear and then and then they switch up and they're just like actually I hated that thing. I'm always like
what what are you do? I feel like they're trying to make it like make themselves relevant.
Like people quit all the time and they don't talk about it every day. Like you don't even have to say it.
That's true.
I'm not gonna lie. They do it one time. If you want to quit, it stays forever. You can't delete that, you know? So if you want to worship God, you can worship me, you know?
Oh, okay.
And with that,
head on the first date. How do you feel about head on the first date?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Wait. First date. Bye.
What about eye contact? Do we like that when we're giving head?
Oh, yeah.
Or in general?
Or in general?
I guess head on the first date
to everyone.
I think so. Yeah.
Every person you you meet.
That's how that's how you find out who has a micro date.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I
Are we going to go on the second date or not? I need to see it.
You have to know before you're wasting your time. Period.
We go on a date. I pay and then Nope. Or what the is
I pay case only? No,
I have been I have always had this unfortunate situation. I don't know about you girls where I'll talk to a guy and they'll be like I don't eat unless it's like I really know her and I'm like why the you like so you want to me but you don't want to eat my I'm not sucking your now we're having horrible cuz what the hell
I mean
actually I don't like being eaten now.
No interruption [laughter] with him
interruption. You will love it. It depends. [laughter]
I I prefer their fingers. You would You just h You would just Yeah.
Maybe you just haven't experienced Nirvana. I'm sorry.
I think you have to try a little
Every woman would love to get eaten out 100,000 million%.
Lately, guys have been giving me head for like over an hour straight. It's the best day of my life. I'm like, "Oh, what a woman."
I think a lot of it is like in your head. Like you're you're thinking like, "Oh my god, am I taking so long?" hungry, you kind kind of go into your head. And that's like the worst part. It's like you really have to be
greedy about it. Don't care. You're eating me out. I don't care how it like how it ends, you know?
I love eating every minute.
Oh, thank you. Wow. [laughter]
But you probably like eating her, too.
Thousand million%.
You You think you'll change my mind?
Definitely.
I will do it until like
We'll have to see.
But I'm gonna We're going to have to see.
I never almost eat ice cream, [laughter] but when I do, it's usually I taste that.
I have to see if this would change my mind or not.
Understand?
Yeah.
Dude, should we leave the room or like what? I'm like I just Are we interrupting somebody? I feel like I'm being right now.
Yeah. I heard someone earlier
I heard someone earlier today um that was like, "Hey, uh can I get I want to watch a podcast. I'm going to be a podcast." I was like, "You're just watching podcast. You're just [laughter] watching."
Like, you go to a comedy show, you're being the comedy show. You're just watching a comedy show.
That's what we just call watching something.
Yeah. I'm watching TV. I'm getting like by the TV. I'm just watching.
But I think Tina is the kind of girl you have to take it very slowly like a married wife. Kazumi, you have to
Yeah.
See, Kazumi, when I look at you, you deserve some love. that you deserve to get. [laughter]
Yeah, I do.
Tina, no. I think Tina just like
Wait, what do you mean?
Like slowly.
No, I like to get pounded hard.
Yeah. What the are you saying? She's a real one. Look at her. She be taking it.
Your words will be against you one day.
Oh, [laughter]
I would like to see that.
You may rude a day. Oh my god. This is I'm in here. I mean, listen, I will watch. Breaking news peptides.
I love them.
[ __ ]
No, look at me, guys. I'm beautiful.
We got two opposing uh
Tell me what it is.
We got the healthiest mother in this world. And I'm telling you, peptides are [ __ ] They are just commercial things. We don't even know the
the long-term effects. What you need is to move your and be disciplined. Do the right way. Eat your drink your water. Avoid smoking and drinking. Do the real
I'm sorry.
Um, no.
Just want the easy things. That's the IP and that's it.
I work out every day. I also eat pretty clean.
Um,
like I eat clean. Well, if I travel, it's a little easier. It's hard. But when I'm here, I'm pretty disciplined. But
if we can bimbo Max, I'm a go there.
Like hello. Like I'm not It's not like We live in the medieval times. If I have the resources to get someies, I'm gonna get some. If I can peptide myself up to get see whatever, bro. Not all of us are like gigachads.
That's true. This is a
I mean, I feel like genetics play a lot of um factor with how you look. Sometimes you just want to look a certain way. Go at it. Your body is a wonderland. Be a science project. It's fine.
I don't Sorry, but I don't believe in genetic. I believe in hard work and dedication. I mean, there's definitely what's it called? Nature and nurture. There's definitely both that work in
whatever they want to they're trying to sell us do the opposite thing. They just want to poison us.
I mean, that is definitely an opinion because everybody's trying to make money out of this. So,
we're going to die sooner or later. So,
might as well.
If do you think you would talk to me if we met in a medieval village like 1500 years ago?
Kazumi, I swear to God, I swear I will make you five babies. Literally. I don't want five babies in medieval time. I don't have a [laughter] choice.
Kazumi, if I say, you know, Kazumi, that would turn me on. Kazum, I would like literally take care of you. The poor Filipina broke. Oh my god, Kazumi, I will
make you the best day in your life. Princess, food, everything, movie, flowers, and I the out of you.
Well, I'll save you.
He loves a beautiful mid. However,
I have to bimboax. And
guys, what's a bad friend move? What would make you be like, "You're not my friend anymore, dude."
What would be a bad friend?
Change your character in front of the girls.
Oh, yeah. That's big.
Like when he's uh But thank god I have three like three or four best best best friends. I know them for 20 years. That's it.
Nice. Okay.
Yeah. when he's like
normal with me and then when there's a girl he just literally change or like just want to to show himself like literally we are brothers. If she interferes between us then bye. And then what what's with my friends right now some girls like they trying to like make us jealous but literally like we know each other 20 years so goodbye. You know
I feel like thinking I'm trying to get into your boyfriends.
Oh yeah. Like sometimes girls I get I get it. I do like whatever. Like I feel like girls are always like, "You want to my man? Like don't look at him." And I'm like, "Bro,
bro, I don't want your man. I Nobody wants your man, dude. Your man's chopped. Like, please take care of him and suck his I don't want to suck your man." Like, ew.
Yeah. No. I mean, I guess there's a Yeah. It's It's always weird when it's like, "Oh, it's about someone else." I'm like, "I don't We're We're here. We're I'm just It's just you and me. Why are we talking about this other guy?" Like I hate like a cancellation by proxy where it's like, "Okay, I don't like this person. Why are you talking to them?" I'm like, "What does that have to do with you?" Like my connection to one person is my connection and like if you don't like them for sure, but it has nothing to do with me. Like don't do that.
A real friend is someone who when you are at your lowest, you'll find him. That's a real friend.
Literally like now I don't know since everyone know me. Maybe it's different everyone when I interact with me. That one of my best friends there at my lowest, he always with me. That's a real in friend. You can't buy good friends. You just need to earn them by time.
Great advice.
Okay, let's grab [applause]
uh a bad friend move. Um assault.
Assault.
Yeah. Like if if you stab me.
Do we agree?
Yeah. Yes. Can we [cheering] clap too?
A bad friend. This is like I hate it when someone don't want to share a girl that like is like literally like it's not your girlfriend, it's not your wife, she's down. Why would you like hide it for yourself? Like bro, share.
You're so selfish.
Oh yeah, a bad friend's not inviting you to the
dude. Don't tell me about how you got the [ __ ] out of you. If you don't want me to it, I'm going to him.
It's over.
Yeah.
sharing is good. Sharing is caring
is a real true friend.
That's why we're here at close friends.
She shared me all her friends.
I get lazy.
Thank you, Kazumi, for sharing me all your friends. They are amazing. Kazumi, I hope you [cheering] make I hope you make a lot of friends.
Tina's my friend.
Oh, Tina, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, Tina. Hello. Nice to meet you.
Anyways, [laughter]
what would you describe your fans in one words?
Autistic. [snorts] My f my fans are so autistic.
Weebs.
Weebs.
Weebs.
Okay. Why Why are they weebs?
Because I I actually like
I like anime. So, a lot of my fans do like anime, so they're like into that weird anime and stuff.
Okay. Anime and like weebs. Like
that's cute. We like weebs. Why Why would you call your uh fans autistic? Like what what's a like how would you describe them in words that are not [laughter]
like I feel like for sure they are like it's like we'll like they'll be in line and they'll be like hey um I saw that you ate some spaghetti. Let's talk about the history of spaghetti for like 30 minutes and sometimes I'll hold up my line because I want to talk about spaghetti for for a long
period of time. I didn't mean in a demeaning way. I think like actually like consistently they'll be like, "Hey, so I saw um you watched this anime. Um here is the historical uh context of where it came from and also here is uh the offer's address. And also here is um her panties. I got them for you." And also, can you sign the panties? And also, can you Yeah, it's like that.
That's kind of cute. It is autistic, but it's
No, I literally love them. But also, I feel like we're my fans are a reflection of me. So, I feel like they're always so cute and I love to give me like tiny snacks or like very strange gifts.
I I mean, I do agree with what you said that fans are typically like reflections of us. Like you said, you like anime and all of that. So, all of them are weebs. How would you describe your fans?
I would describe my friends three categories, you know. So, the first is the LGBTQ community.
You're like me. I'm
I'm your master, right? I'm someone who's gonna the proud of you and you have to respect me.
So, they're typically bottoms is what I'm hearing, [laughter]
you know. And for my straight fans, I hope you watch the videos and you learn the way I do and everything, the motivational stuff,
education.
And for the women, you're not ugly.
Every woman is beautiful for me. That's why I everybody love you so much. And whenever you see me in real life or DM me and I will take care of everything, okay? Love you.
Peace and love. Peace and love.
Word.
All right. With that, thank you guys so much for being on my episode of this podcast.
Thank you. [applause]
I want to study all of your guys' brains in a museum.
Honestly, I feel like you're you're one of the brains that need to be studied as well.
Yeah, they need to destroy me. Thank you guys so much for watching, Close Friends. This is Kazumi signing off. [applause] Yay. [cheering] Love you.
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