Transcription
[Beavis and Butthead opening theme]
Joey: Wow! An entire island all to ourselves. It's sort of like that book, Lord of the Flies. Only with a lot less subtext and a lot more card games.
Tristan: Wasn't that the movie with the evil ring in the hobbits?
Téa: Why would any of those things be on this island, you idiot?
Tristan: I sure hope nobody notices we're trespassing.
Henchman: Hey, you!
Tristan (Thinking): The irony!
Henchman: Quit drawing attention to yourself! You barely qualify as a sidekick.
Joey: Ah-choo!
Yugi: You wouldn't have caught that cold if it hadn't been for Weevil.
Joey: Actually, I wouldn't have caught it if you hadn't been a naive moron and handed him your most powerful cards.
Yugi: No it was definitely Weevil. He threw my grandfather's cards into the ocean. And I'll never be able to forgive him.
Tristan: It's sorta like the time Joey threw away a piece of your Millennium Puzzle.
Joey: Yeah, except you forgave me for that right Yugh?
Yugi: Sure Joey. Sure.
[Ironside theme]
Hair Guy: Attention duelists! If you can all stop staring at my hair for a moment, you'll see that Pegasus' castle is just behind me. Please follow the unnecessarily long staircase to meet your host.
Téa: My limey senses are tingling!
Yugi: What is it Téa?
Téa: I thought I saw Bakura again.
Joey: Maybe we should go check. He is our friend after all.
Yugi: And let him cut into my precious screen time? No way! Besides, it's not like he's a main character or anything.
Bandana Kid: Hey, check out all the obligatory cameos. Weevil Underwood. Rex Raptor. Mako Tsunami.
Other Kid: But where's the reigning champion, Seto Kaiba?
Bandana Kid: Didn't you hear? He was barred from the tournament because his name wasn't stupid enough.
Pegasus: Welcome to the Duelist Kingdom. Let me assure you that this tournament is 100% genuine, and is not in any way an elaborate ruse thrown together at the last minute so that I can get my hands on an ancient Egyptian artifact. To advance to the finals and a chance at three million dollars you must each win 10 star chips by betting them on card games. Remember kids: gambling is good for you!
Joey: Now that my cold is instantly cleared up, I can't wait to win this tournament and get the prize money.
Yugi: So you can pay for the operation, right?
Joey: What operation?
Yugi: The one your sister's getting.
Joey: What sister?
Téa: Hey, it's Weevil!
Yugi: Weevil, I challenge you to a-
Joey: Wait a minute! He's running away.
Yugi: It's almost as if he doesn't want to play a card game with me!
Weevil: Actually, dumbass, I was just leading you into this vague trap or something. Hehe!
Yugi: Super-Special-Awesome-Ultra-Special-Sexy transformation sequence, GO!
Pharaoh: I'm back, baby!
Weevil: He! Two can play that game, dillhole! Hehe mhe!
Weevil: [complete gibberish]
Pharaoh: Sweet mother of Osiris!
Weevil: [complete gibberish]
Pharaoh: He's transforming too! But who or what is he becoming?
Weevil: I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole! Heheheheh
Pharaoh: It's time to duel you, strange silly person.
Weevil: Are you threatening me? I summon my generic insect. Hehehe!
Téa: Wow! Look at all the phallic imagery!
Joey: What are you talking about Téa? There ain't anything remotely suspect about this duel!
Yugi: Now, quiver in fear as my knight's mighty lance penetrates your moist cocoon!
Téa: Huh. I guess you're right.
Tristan: Hey look! Breasts have arrived!
Mai: You guys are wasting your time. Yugi doesn't stand a chance. He's not nearly experienced enough.
Téa: Compared to friendship and compassion, experience is meaningless.
Mai: Keep telling yourself that, hon. What are you a virgin or something?
Téa: Bitch, I'll scratch your eyes out!
Joey: Would you guys stop talking about sex? I'm trying to oogle Mai's cleavage here.
Pharaoh: I activate Deus Ex Machina!
Weevil: Hey, he, no fair, hehe! You can't use spell cards during my turn!
Pharoah: Tell it to the writing staff! Summoned Skull! Destroy his cheap Mothra imitation!
Joey & Tristan: Yay! We were totally ineffectual!
Weevil: I lost. He! And stuff. Hehehe!
Pharaoh: Maybe next time you'll think twice before forcing someone to part with their valuables. Now hand over your star chips and kiss my feet!
Weevil: Dammit! Hehe! This card game sucks! Hehehe!
Pharaoh: Settle down, buttmunch!
[Ironside theme]
(Samuel L. Jackson voice): THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERF*CKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERF*CKING PLANE!