Transcription
Hi diddly honey burrinos, it's Lydia here from The Simpsons Theory. On this channel, we've run through the life and tribulations of Homer Simpson, and we've even dived into his dark side. But today, we thought we'd piss him off just a little bit by examining his worst enemy's lifetime—and that is Ned Flanders. Stupid, sexy Flanders. So, in this video, we'll be examining the life and times of Neddy, from his childhood to his old, old age. Mr. Flanders, you're blinded! We'll also dive into his turbulent relationship with Homer, as well as his crazy love life. So let the heavens open and be sucked up by Ned's party as we enter the complete Ned Flanders timeline.
Okay, age, dates, hurricane Neddy. Despite his future goody-goody reputation, Ned was a little tarawa as a kid—far from the happy-go-lucky we know of today. This is ultimately down to his hippie parents that didn't believe in punishing their son. So he was able to run amok with minimal consequences. We've tried nothing, and we're all out of ideas. Therefore, he is taken into the care of Councillor Dr. Foster, who proceeds to spank Neddy for eight months straight. And this unorthodox method worked and stopped Ned's moody behavior. But instead of acting out of anger, he would instead spew out nonsensical jabbering. "I'll be darn deadly, aren't yeah? That's the stuff." The spanking worked so well that it rendered him unable to express his anger at all, and this pent-up rage would later erupt when an adult, causing him to go berserk on his friends after they attempted to rebuild his house after it was destroyed by a hurricane. "And as for you, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk." "Hey, I've only been here a few minutes. What's going on?"
20: My way or the highway to heaven. As a young man, Ned drifted from job to job, working as a dice painter and a clerk in a gentleman's club until he became a door-to-door salesman selling trampolines—or, as Homer would say, "tremendously." He said, "What now, with man landing on the moon, everyone wants to bounce like an astronaut!" And so Ned made some big bucks. But he soon discovers that the trampolines he's been flogging are extremely dangerous. It turns out that 500 bounces causes so much static electricity that you will be zapped. After reading a newspaper, he finds out that a young Homer Simpson is going to shatter that 500-bounce barrier. Ned drives over to Homer's house in a bid to try and stop him, getting there just in the nick of time. Ned leaps into the air and pushes Homer to safety, and Ned is electrocuted as a result. Ned wakes up in heaven and meets Jesus, who tells him if he accepts the word of Jesus Christ, he will allow him to live again. Therefore, Ned is reborn as a Christian, but given a scar on his upper lip as a sign of God's mercy, which he keeps covered up with a sexy mustache. "That's why I'm wearing this mustache till I'm just ash." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of how Ned found God and his signature mustache. Now that's an origin story.
Aged 40: Dangerous curves. At 40 years old, Ned and his wife come across Homer and Marge on a random road, and they offer them a lift. It turns out that Ned and Maude just got married that same day and are off to the cozy cabins for their honeymoon. But when Flanders finds out that the two aren't married, he spends his own honeymoon making sure that Marge and Homer don't commit unwed sin. "Oh, what better way to celebrate our wedding night than by keeping an unmarried couple apart?" Ned takes some extreme measures to try and separate them, like pulling down mouse traps and bear traps outside their doors. But Ned does manage to enjoy some honeymoon loving when Maude seduces him by wearing her dead grandma's PJs.
Age 52: Lisa's first word. When the Simpsons move into their new home in Evergreen Terrace, the Flanders welcomes them to the neighborhood. And although the two had met 10 years prior, I'm just gonna say that they didn't remember. Anyway, Flanders said that if they need anything, just give them a whistle, and Homer instantly takes advantage of this, asking to borrow Ned's brand new TV tray for a little while. And that little while is now eight years and counting. And so is the long tradition of Homer borrowing Ned things. Homer has taken everything from Ned, including his air conditioner. "Well, I admit it looks bad, Flanders." "All of his flowers? I...I couldn't help but notice you...you picked pretty much all of my flowers." And straight up burgles his home, low on funds again. "Yes, sir." Before we continue, if you're enjoying the video, then please consider subscribing to The Simpsons Theory. Only 13 of you who watch my videos are actually subscribed to the channel. But when you click that sexy red button, it lets YouTube know that you like my videos and recommends my channel to more and more people. So thank you, I really do appreciate it. Anyway, back to the video. [Music]
Age 54: Manger things. When Homer is kicked out of the house by Marge for getting drunk yet again, she tells him not to come back until he's done one great thing. Now Homer is homeless. He is taken in by Ned, who was only too happy to host Springfield's lost souls. He did the same thing to Homer's brother, Herb, when he came a-knocking. "Come in, my friend. Let us feed and bathe you." Maude is pregnant and is less than pleased with her new house guest, especially after she catches them eating their Christmas dinner. "Wait, wait! You were saving that? It was still in the plastic! Vinyl straws!" Homer ruins Grace and teacher's wrote a curse word resulting in telling Homer to get out. Later on, Homer hears Maude go into labor, so he runs round to help her. And in order to calm her down, he pretends to be Ned and puts Maude at ease instantly and delivers baby Todd into the world. Flanders then comes back from delivering turkeys to the homeless and is amazed, honoring Homer by naming the baby's middle name after him. Although Homer helped deliver Maude's baby, little did they know their home would later contribute to her death, which we'll get onto later.
Age 58: Fland Canyon. When Ned Flanders wins a family trip to the Grand Canyon for being the most selfless cleaner, he invites the Simpsons along in order to be closer to his neighbors. And it's here that we really see the difference between the two families. For instance, one is throwing scorpions at each other while the other's doing a song and dance number. And when they go out on their trail, their guide falls off the cliff edge, leaving them stranded. So Homer and Flanders set out to find help and come across a millionaire's camping site. So they steal some of their supplies and hop onto an inflatable raft and escape with their booty. When they get back to their camp, they surprise everyone with a breakfast of caviar and bacon. Flanders and Homer are notorious for their troubled relationship; they just couldn't be any more different. Homer is a lazy, reckless slob, while Ned is a righteous go-getter, the type to always color within the lines. Ned Flanders, time and time again, has done everything he can to be the best diddly-r neighbor in the world, including saving Homer from some raging flames. And although Homer often takes advantage of his neighbor, they have a love-hate relationship; they are the yin to each other's yang. And I think deep down, Homer really likes Ned Flanders and probably sees him as one of his best friends, but of course, Homer will never admit this. Hooray for stupid Flanders! [Music]
Age 60: Normal day. Ned's age is a little inconsistent during The Simpsons; sometimes it's shown to be the same age as Homer, but in one episode, it was revealed that he was much older. "Well, I'm...I'm 60." And he credits his youthful appearance to the three C's: clean living, chewing thoroughly, and a daily dose of vitamin church. Ned has always been an overly cautious guy, but when he feels that he hasn't truly lived, he asks Homer to help him live a bit more recklessly. So Homer takes him to the city of sin: Las Vegas. At first, Ned is a little reluctant to let loose, but after some persuading from Homer, he orders a white wine spritzer fritzer. During a wild night out in Vegas, they wake up to find that they have married two mysterious women. When Homer and Ned try to flee from their new wives, they are kicked out of Vegas. "Las Vegas doesn't care for outer towners." This would not be the last time that Ned would remarry—far from it. Anyway, more of that later. Now let's discuss Ned and Maude's relationship. They are quite obviously very pious people, partaking in wholesome family activities and going to church every single Sunday. On the outside, they may seem very similar, but I think they are two very different souls. Ned has always tried to see the best in people and very rarely expresses his frustrations and constantly turns the other cheek to bad behavior. Maude, on the other hand, is a completely different person; one instance being that she expelled Marge from the Springfield Investor Rat simply for not wanting to throw her money away, and another time being that when Marge visits her home after being caught stealing from the Kwik-E-Mart, Maude spies on her in the bathroom, resulting in her being told to get out, frustrating a photo frame. But despite all of this, Ned and Maude's relationship seemed like a happy one, but that would all come crashing down very soon. One day, the Simpsons sees the Flanders at a car rally, and when Maude goes to buy some hot dogs, Homer begs the cheerleaders to fire t-shirts at him. But just when they're about to fire, Homer ducks down to pick up a bobby pin, and what's worse is that any hopes of resuscitation were thwarted by Homer. "I'm the one who parked in the ambulance zone," preventing any possible resuscitation. Ned is crushed by losing his wife, and he doesn't get over her death for a very long time, opening up a theme park in her name, and he even kept the outline of her bed in print and went to great lengths to try and keep it intact. But after meeting Rachel Jordan, the leading of a Christian rock band, he decides to finally move forward and flattens Maude's bed imprints. Ned would date Rachel for a short while, and he would go on to have a fair few other love interests, including movie starlet Sarah Sloane, who leaves her life in Hollywood in order to live in Springfield with Ned after doing the Whoopi. Ned asks Sarah to marry him, but she isn't ready for that kind of commitment, so they call off their relationship. However, Ned does get a lot of female attention because of it. "You know, it's the darndest thing, women love you when you've dated a movie star." Plus, Ned is a real hunk; who can resist that sexy tash of rock-hard abs? Even him and Marge almost got it on, and it seems that she just couldn't get that guy out of her head, being the inspiration for her muscular hero in her book. But Ned will find love again in a very unexpected place when Edna quite literally falls into Ned's arms. They fall in love and eventually get married. Although this pairing may seem odd at first, it actually worked. Ned was the stable, kind man Edna has spent so long searching for, while Edna was a very strong woman and would stand up for Ned, doing the unthinkable in getting back all of the things Homer borrowed. Edna was also the much-needed mother figure in Rod and Todd's lives and brought them out of their shells. However, Marcia Wallace, who was the talented voice actress that played Edna, passed away in 2013, and out of respect, the show's producers chose not to replace her, and her character was retired. Sure do miss that laugh. Later on, Ned has even more bad luck when he's forced to close the Leftorium. I guess Homer's wish really did come true in the end. But this closure wasn't a be-all or end-all for Ned's career; he later took up Edna's mantle in becoming a substitute teacher at Springfield Elementary. Whilst being a substitute teacher, Bart disrespects Ned by shooting him with a spitball. Ned quits. Bart feels guilty, and Homer and Bart try and persuade Ned to come back to teaching by reminding him of Edna's words: "Remember, if you can teach one kid one thing, then today will be a success." And I think it's so sweet that Ned chose to carry on Edna's legacy.
Age 90: Holidays are future past. When Bart is a divorcee with two kids, he comments on how hard it is to find a lady, and this is a cue for Ned to come in to say that he has now married Maude's ghost. "That's why, after Homer accidentally killed Edna, I married Maude's ghost. There is no garden, Eddie," meaning that not only did the big guy keep his dinner tray for several decades, but he also killed both of Ned's wives.
Age 92: Bart's the future. When deadbeat Bart goes to find Ned to beg for some money, we discover that he is now blind from getting laser eye surgery. "Well, it was great at first, but you know, at the 10-year mark, your eyes fall out." But he does finally agree to give Bart some money as he has Rod and Todd, and we have seen hints of the boy's sexuality in the past. "I'm gay, Daddy. I'm gay."
Age 108: Flanders remarries again. Ned must have got an eyeball transplant and has ditched ghost Maude as he's got his eyesight back and is now married to Marge Simpson, which is poetic justice after Homer killed both of Ned's wives. This relationship does make sense as they have had a lot of chemistry in the past. However, unlucky in love as always, Marge passes away beside him. He then places a picture of Marge on his wall of deceased wives. We can see that Ned was married to a lot of women over the years, including but not limited to Martha Quimby, Luanne Van Houten, Brandine Spockler, Patty and Selma, Sarah Wiggum, Manjula, Mrs. Muntz, and Miss Hoover. As a devout Christian, it sure seems like God likes punishing Ned by killing off all of his wives. Poor guy. This concludes the Ned timeline, and who knows what will happen to little Neddy next. And finally, I'd like to thank my newest Flying Hellfish members: Cody Collins, Kim Rorvik, Aaron Burkholder, and Jakku Star. And of course, my other lovely Flying Hellfish members: we have Timothy, who else, for Zane, Liam, Steve, Charlie, Shawn, Justin, Andre, Stefan, Nicholas, Vincent, Ashley, Kevin, Robb, Devin Gadrack, Stephen, Edward, Anthony, Nicola, Nerd Centric, Jeffrey, Felix, Mason, Valentine, Abby, Dominic, Cody, Kim, Aaron, and Jakku Star.