Transcription
Hey, in today's English lesson, I am going to teach you the do's and don'ts of English conversations. Are you ready? Well then, I'm Teacher Tiffany. Let's jump right in!
So, let's start with the do's.
The first do is to show interest and be curious. As an English learner, your goal is to speak English fluently like a native speaker. During English conversations, you need to show interest and be curious. By showing interest, the person will want to continue having a conversation with you. Remember, English conversation is not just about the words you use or the expressions you know; instead, it's about truly mastering the conversation skills that native English speakers have.
Again, showing interest and being curious makes the other person feel like you actually care. This will enhance the conversation.
Being curious means that you can ask questions related to what the person is saying. I tell this to my students all the time: English conversation is like a tennis match—back and forth, back and forth. Respond, ask a question, respond, ask a question. It shows that you're interested and curious.
Curiosity also results in you forming your own ideas or opinions about the topic. So, as you're speaking to the individual, ask them questions. Let them know that you're interested in what they're talking about. As they respond, you'll also start forming your own ideas, which will keep the conversation flowing.
Now, the second thing you must do is balance give and take. Remember, I said that I teach my students that English conversation is like a tennis match—back and forth, give and take. It is important to listen during a conversation, but it is also important for you to give your opinion as well. You don't want to be in the conversation the entire time just saying "uh" or "oh." You want to also give your opinion. It's about balancing giving and taking, listening and speaking. There has to be a balance.
Another thing you must remember, again related to this do, is that you have to try to balance the amount of time that both of you listen and speak. This will result in a smooth conversation. You don't want to listen for five minutes and only speak for 30 seconds. You want there to be a balance—both of you are listening and both of you are also giving your own opinions or ideas. There needs to be a balance of give and take during the conversation.
Next, if the person asks you a question, try to think of another question you can ask them as well. You give your answer and then say, "Hey, what about you? How do you feel about...?" You always end your response by asking the other individual a question. You want them to know that you are also curious about what they think.
These are skills you must develop in order to have natural and real English conversations. It's also important for you to pay attention to the person you are talking to. This is so you can recognize when they want to speak. People will give you clues through their body language or facial expressions, letting you know, "Hey, I'd like to respond," or "Hey, I have a thought or idea about this topic."
You have to balance give and take. Don't talk too much, and also don't listen the entire time. Balance give and take.
The next thing you must do is have something interesting to say. You want to make sure that you can add to the conversation. If you say something interesting about the topic you're discussing, the person listening to you will probably ask for more details. So, you have to have your thoughts organized about the topic.
When you say something interesting, the person is naturally going to ask you more questions. "Hey, really? That's what you think? What about...?" They're going to want more details. So, think of something interesting to say about the topic.
Another thing to remember, related to this do, is that the more interesting a conversation is, the longer the conversation will be. Your goal is to speak English like a native speaker. Your goal is to have a natural English conversation that flows smoothly. When you say something interesting, it makes the conversation more engaging, and it will go on and on.
So, remember to have something interesting to say. In order for a conversation to flow well, you must be thinking of what you can add to the conversation. This goes back to the second do: balancing give and take. What can you add to the conversation to make it interesting?
Also, remember that in order to be interesting, the information must connect to the listener in some way. You're not just thinking about the topic from your own perspective; you want to make sure you're thinking about the person you're speaking with as well. "Hey, how does this connect to this individual?" This is how you really keep the conversation going and flowing like a native English speaker.
Doing these things will help you really master English conversation.
Now, even though there are three important things to do, there are also three important things that you must not do.
The first is: don't dominate. The first thing to remember is to never dominate the conversation. It is important to make sure there is a balance between you and the person you are speaking to. This is so important. You need to make sure both of you are contributing to the conversation. So, don't dominate.
Dominating actually shows that you don't care about the other person's opinion. When someone is in a conversation with another individual, that really does not make them feel important or that their ideas are valid. They're not going to want to continue the conversation.
So, pay attention. It's not just about the words and expressions you use; you must master these techniques. So, don't dominate.
The other thing to remember related to this is that people don't want to have conversations with those who dominate. It's not fun; it's not interesting. So, don't dominate the conversation. Pay attention to the person you're speaking with.
Remember, dominating the conversation also shows that your listening skills are not good. When you just talk, talk, talk, and dominate the conversation, it reveals that your listening skills are not where they need to be. If your listening skills were good, you'd want to hear what the other person has to say.
So, remember: don't dominate when you're having a conversation with someone.
The next thing to remember is: don't talk more than you listen. Listening skills are an important part of effective communication. In other words, listening attentively will actually help you master English conversation.
You've probably never heard this before, but listening can actually help you speak better. Here’s the thing: listening attentively will help you understand people better. When you understand people, you'll know how to organize your thoughts to connect to that person, which will make the conversations more interesting.
Another thing you have to remember, again, is not talking more than you listen. As you listen, you actually improve your English ability because you are taking in new information. Your brain is processing new information, then you're developing your thoughts or ideas in response to what you just heard, and then you're responding. This will help you speak English better.
So, don't talk more than you listen. Remember, if you listen well, the other person will also want to listen to you. It's a give and take. When they see, "Wow, you're paying attention to me," they will also want to listen to you, and they'll let you speak and express your ideas. The conversation will flow better.
So, don't talk more than you listen.
Another don't that you must remember is: don't interrupt. Never interrupt. This is because interrupting someone or suddenly stopping them is rude and can halt a conversation. You don't want to interrupt individuals. This is not something you want to do during a conversation.
People don't want to talk to someone who constantly interrupts them or stops them in the middle of their thought or while expressing their idea. Don't interrupt people. Interrupting shows that you are not listening to them, so you need to be patient.
Again, we're talking about having conversations like a native English speaker. Interrupting also hinders the flow of conversation because it shows that you think your words are more important, and that will stop a conversation from moving forward.
So, remember the three do's and the three don'ts, and you'll start mastering English conversation like a native speaker.
I really hope you enjoyed today's lesson. Don't forget that if you want to join me and so many others and speak English like a native, go to englishfluencyplan.com. We'll see you there!
And as always, remember to speak English.
Dude, you still there? You know what time it is? It's story time!
Hey, I said it's story time!
All right, so in today's lesson, I explained the do's and don'ts for English conversations. I want to tell you about something that happened to me that dealt with English conversations.
This happened, whoo, at least nine years ago. I was in South Korea, and I went to lunch with one of my friends. She was also a missionary English teacher, and we went to this really good Indian restaurant. The food was absolutely amazing!
So, we had our food, and we were just sitting there talking and eating at the same time. A topic came up, and we started giving our ideas or opinions on it. Now, my friend was giving her opinion, and then I gave mine. But after I gave my opinion, I could see that my friend's breathing started to change. She was breathing harder, and I could see that her facial expression was changing as well. She started speaking at a faster pace, and I could sense that she was a little bit irritated and upset.
Now, as I was watching her and listening to her, I started speaking to myself and also praying, "God, what's going on right now? My friend looks upset. I'm not sure why she's upset." I was listening to what she was saying but also paying attention to her body language.
Now, remember I said the important thing you must do is to listen when you are having a conversation. During that time, as I was trying to figure out why she was getting upset, God reminded me of a Bible verse that I had read. The Bible verse says, "A soft answer turns away wrath." Basically, when you respond softly when someone is getting upset, and you respond calmly, that will help the person calm down as well. But you have to recognize what's happening.
So, my friend was getting a little bit hyped; she was getting upset. It was my turn to speak. She stopped, and now again it was my turn. I responded very calmly. I said, "You know, I didn't realize that what I said affected you in that way, and I'm sorry for that. I do think that this..." and I continued having the conversation. But my voice stayed very calm, and immediately my friend went from here to here. Immediately, she calmed down.
I realized that communication is not just about the words you use; it's also about how you speak—your tone of voice, your facial expressions, your body language. Because I was seeing so much happen as I listened to her words, her body language was telling me so much more.
So, when you're in a conversation, make sure you listen attentively. Pay attention to the person as they're speaking so that when you respond, your response matches what they said to you—either to calm them down, to encourage them, or to make them happy. Your response can have a big effect on the individual you're speaking to.
So, never forget: conversation is not just about the words you use; it's about paying attention to the other person and responding to what they have said.
Now, I hope this story encouraged you. If you ever get into a little bit of a disagreement with your friend, remember to speak calmly, softly, and slowly, and your friend will calm down.
Hope you enjoyed this story! I'll talk to you in the next lesson.