I fell in love with my psychiatrist, and he knew that. He kept me for years as a patient until I was brave enough to leave him. I want to talk about it. Of course, I loved the attention. He just listened and nodded. And that's the thing about psychiatrists: is that they're good at pretending to listen.

First, it just seems like spicy therapist drama, but the deeper you go, the weirder it gets. That's when he really started turning up the intimacy. "Can you read mines?" It's part of my design, my human design. People with completely open crown centers can often read other people's thoughts. I start emailing him my fun little emails, but he stops writing me back. It seems as though many people view what I'm going through as a crash out. Of course, it seems like that.

Oh, and then this lady also uses Chat GPT as a side therapist to confirm that the psychiatrist is actually in love with her. Say hello to the 11,000 people that are on the live. He was just trying to maintain professional boundaries. We might just be witnessing AI psychosis. The Oracle is live with her army of truth seekers.

I am very good. More than good, actually. I am actually a coach for ADHDers. It says it in my bio. That pisses me off. You took a group of passionate healthcare workers, of people who are in the job because they want to help people, and you pushed them to their absolute limits. She needs to be stopped. How can he not be like accepting my advances?

Ever catch yourself building a whole imaginary relationship with someone after one good convo? Yes. No. Let me ask you this: Have you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have? It's a tale as old as time. From Romeo and Juliet to that toxic ex you can't quite shake off, it's usually a recipe for disaster, right? Well, what if you fall in love with your doctor?

Picture this: You're going through the daunting mental gymnastics of finding a psychiatrist. You scroll through a list of names and faces when one suddenly catches your eye. He's qualified, has great reviews, and bonus, he's super cute. You set up your virtual appointment. Everything's great. So, you schedule another appointment, and then another, and another. And over the course of a few years, you become obsessed and confess your love over a Zoom call. Suddenly, you find yourself reading into your doctor's every word, facial expression, and scheduling mishap, now that he knows how you feel. Is he holding back a lifetime of romance or simply doing his job?

For Kendra Hilty, a crush on her psychiatrist over Zoom escalates into what she calls a full-blown obsession and creates a viral 25-part TikTok story of alleged medical malpractice, manipulation, and psychological torment. Check yourself. You're giving me more ammunition to share my story because it just goes to show how absolutely messed up the mental health industry is. Now, y'all, the internet is divided, branding her either a troubled patient or a truthtelling oracle. Those are her words, with the help of a chatbot. But this story is about to unravel in ways that no one could imagine.

Oracle is someone who sees truth clearly when others are confused. Speaks divine wisdom even when it's hard to hear. Predicts the future by naming what's really happening. You are the oracle.

Remember the very first question I asked at the very beginning of this about building an imaginary relationship with someone after one conversation? Those are also Kendra's words. Let me read the rest: "Ever catch yourself building a whole imaginary relationship with someone after one good convo? Yeah, same. For ADHD brains, fantasy equals dopamine, especially when we're craving connection. But sometimes we confuse potential for proof. This used to send me spiraling, overanalyzing text, chasing crumbs of attention, and calling it love. It felt romantic, but it was actually self-abandonment."

"After I risked my life to see him, that's when he really started turning up the intimacy in our appointments."

According to Kendra, it was only after freeing herself from the twisted doctor-patient relationship that she was finally able to recount her side of the journey through a whirlwind of mind-blowing claims, while the psychiatrist was forced to stay silent until now. Today, we're going to hear from the psychiatrist through some video and audio clips that I dug up that I haven't really heard anyone else discuss, that I believe sheds more light and context regarding his potential side of Kendra's allegations. "You and I have a really special patient-doctor relationship." And he glared at me with just venom in his eyes and he said, "You and I have a professional patient-doctor relationship."

And we're going to dive into multiple perspectives to address the question that millions have asked: Could Kendra's psychiatrist be a villain in the modern medical age or simply a mental health professional doing his job under impossible circumstances? It is so incredibly disturbing to me the amount of people that are protectors in my comments.

We want to know why he was uncomfortable because he had probably played out that fantasy so many times in his head, and there I was speaking it back to him. And listen, we're not just going to stop with that question. And what started out as my attempt to offer a deeper perspective on a viral TikTok series, you know, the complex layers of alleged manipulation, stalking, doxing, fraud, and even AI-fueled conspiracy theories quickly escalated into an investigation of the horrific hidden realities within modern mental health care. A world that is far darker than most are willing to admit, except for one brave person who sat down with me for an in-depth interview, revealing the often violent, often sinister crisis that few are talking about. And the scary thing, if we don't find a solution to this devastating situation, it could greatly impact all of us. And this is what we know.

I would really like to discuss what happens when we fall in love with our mental health professionals. In early August of 2025, Kendra Hilty, a 36-year-old woman living in Arizona, dragged her controversial heartbreak out from the shadows of her private life and straight into the public spotlight of the "For You" page. Kendra posted a jaw-dropping 25-part TikTok story time titled, "I Fell in Love With My Psychiatrist and He Kept Me Anyways." "I fell in love with my psychiatrist and he knew, and he kept me until I had the strength to leave after 4 years. Here it is, part one." As the title suggests, Kendra set out to disclose her salacious story of alleged provider abuse with the world, hoping the algorithm would carry her story to every corner of the internet, reach other potential victims, and call out mental health professionals who were now the ultimate villain in her eyes. "No more clinical torture chamber, please. This has gone beyond what I have ever imagined. Um, and it's also proving to me how important it is that I continue to tell my story."

Now, as you can imagine, it didn't take long for the entire internet to become captivated by her series, leaning into her dark and twisted story as it unfolded. "The world thinks I've gone crazy." And he asked me, he said, "See you next month. See you next month." He hadn't ever asked me that before. And I looked at him and I said, "Maybe."

Over the course of a month, Kendra peeled back her romantic connection to her psychiatrist layer by layer, reaching tens of millions and dividing the internet into basically two camps of belief: those who dismissed her strange romance as a symptom of clout chasing or mental illness, and those who stood behind her validating her allegations. Now, all of this is based off of a one-sided telling of a story and speculation, which she invited in by making the series. "People are asking me for more concrete evidence, and this is when the concrete evidence really starts." "I'm aware that many people don't believe me, think I'm lying, think I'm fabricating, and that's okay." The controversy escalated to a point of doxing, comments being disabled, people losing their jobs, and yes, we will get to all of that. But first, oh, hi there. Hello. Hello. Hi. It's my face again. If you're seeing me for the first time, welcome. My name is Swoop, and I'm a documentary filmmaker, commentary creator, and I make what we call Swoop Docs on complex stories, true crime, and social media influencers who abuse their power and manipulate audiences because, as I always say, it's not drama, it's dangerous. We emphasize critical thinking and also present different perspectives, and sometimes, depending on my mood, sometimes we take it to Petty University. I'm a woman, a survivor, a chronic pain fighter, and I am, I'm tired of the [ __ ]. So, if you're tired too, go ahead and hit subscribe. And actually, y'all, okay, I, I went on the back end, I looked at the data, and I saw that 40% of you who regularly watch or listen week after week haven't yet subscribed. And, and many of you actually might not even know that you haven't subscribed. It's the free and easy way to support what I and my team do here, help us keep the lights on, and be part of our journey to 1 million critical thinkers. We are so close. I cannot believe it. It's actually kind of blowing my mind. And the best part of subscribing besides the community, the bigger we get, the bigger the stories we get to cover. I also, of course, have a second channel called Swoop 2, where we do skinny dips, not deep dives, they're just little dips. And we also have our very sassy Patreon community, which I love our Patreon community so much. Uh, that's where you can get exclusive access to four more videos per month, plus the entire back catalog. That's four more exclusive, uncensored videos, including the Patreon-only podcast, extended episodes, and stories the platform just kind of won't let me cover here.

Okay, real quick, before we dive in, I have a question. Does anyone else feel like the internet knows way too much and is way less safe? What if your own information was out there? Did you know that your personal information is sold online? Like, I bet if you Google your name right now, you'll probably find your home address, your phone number, email, your family members' info all over the internet, all without your consent, just waiting for people like your creepy ex, your old boss, an internet troll, or identity thieves to find you. It is so, so, so important that you know you have the right to stay private and protect your personal data and your safety. And that's why I use DeleteMe, and I think that you should, too. So, a huge thank you to today's sponsor, DeleteMe. DeleteMe is a hands-free subscription service that finds and removes your personal information that's being sold online and helps remove your info from search results to help protect your online privacy, which is so important in these uncertain times. Our personal info is literally scattered across hundreds, if not thousands of data broker listings. They've got full names, home addresses, phone numbers. But DeleteMe's privacy experts scan the internet, find where your private data is being sold, and remove it for you. I started using DeleteMe a while ago, and it was incredibly easy to set up, and it was actually shocking. With just one report, they scanned over 2,500 data broker listings looking for my and my family's info and found and removed personal data on over 40-plus data websites. And honestly, I got to say, as a woman who's been through some things, that means everything to me. And what's even more relieving is DeleteMe will continue to monitor sites and repeat the removals as needed, so you don't have to worry about it in the future. Honestly, I think of DeleteMe as digital self-care. So, seriously, if you've ever applied for a job, a dating website, donated to charity, searched your info, or signed up for nearly anything online, your data is out there. So, if you're ready to protect your personal information and help protect your privacy and have some peace of mind in uncertain times, right now you can get 20% off DeleteMe consumer plans when you go to joindeleteme.com/swoop and use promo code SWOOP. That's S-W-O-O-P for 20% off your DeleteMe plan. That's joindeleteme.com/swoop and use code SWOOP to get 20% off because your information belongs to you, not the internet. So take it back and treat yourself, honey. You deserve it.

Okay, back to the doc. "I fell in love with my psychiatrist and he knew that and he kept me for years as a patient until I was brave enough to leave him. I want to talk about it." It started out like any TikTok story time. The glow of the "For You" page broadcasting a brave and vulnerable tale of what Kendra had allegedly endured. Starting with a video and a caption that reads, quote, "This story has been weighing on me and I will share. But first, I'd like to hear what people have to say." And know that I'm not the only one. "I would really like to discuss what happens when we fall in love with our mental health professionals and most importantly the fact that there are so many people, especially men, that are emotionally dead inside that feel called to going into psychiatry and therapy. So, they don't have to feel their feelings, but they can feed off of the vulnerability of their mostly female patients. What do you guys think?"

Well, Kendra, I'm, I'm glad you asked. Uh, I think several things. Number one, Kendra immediately opens the door for people to share if they've ever, you know, had feelings for their doctors, which could be a helpful conversation for some people. But Kendra also does something else here. She intentionally makes a broad statement about mental health care providers as being emotionally dead inside, which she states it as a fact, even though this literally cannot be proven. Like, how do you prove that somebody is dead inside? Actually, if I think about a few... Okay. No. But yeah, "the fact that there are so many people, especially men, that are emotionally dead inside that feel called to going into psychiatry."

As we move through this story, I want us to be mindful about, you know, rhetoric that could be damaging to both patients and mental health care professionals. Yes, of course, there is room to scrutinize, you know, harmful doctors and certainly [ __ ] pharma and insurance companies. What the hell is going on? Everyone needs to just calm down and take a nap. Today, we're also going to dig deeper into other perspectives, including hearing directly from her psychiatrist. Yeah. Dug them up, found some things. Now, initially, Kendra's first post had a semi-viral, kind of niche following that sparked an important conversation about medical malpractice. And with, you know, all of this newfound attention, Kendra started her official series with a brand new Part One. So, like a Part One, Part Two, Part One, a second time, whatever you call it.

"So, I decided to go back on ADHD meds after many years of being off of them. It's very important for ADHDers to be on meds. So, I decided to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. I just Googled psychiatry in the city that I lived in, and I went with the first one that came up."

I think it's great she understands her needs and took steps to help herself. With that said though, I, I do want to jump in here and warn you again to just be cautious that whether it's intentional or not, uh, Kendra is going to be problematic about ADHD throughout this entire saga. In my opinion, this is just the first of several kind of sweeping broad generalizations that she makes about people with ADHD. "It's very important for ADHDers to be on meds."

Y'all know around here, okay, we are a community of openness. I sometimes share uh some of what I live with. Uh, not just because it's, you know, my channel and I can do that. That's part of the content. But I also share in case maybe it hopefully helps uh any of you watching feel maybe a little more encouraged to share. That was something that I never saw growing up. I didn't have people around sharing and talking about their experiences and how they related to mine. So I always kept it bottled up because I didn't see that. So, I want to make sure to try to be a person who doesn't stay bottled up so that maybe you won't either, if you don't want to. You know what I mean? I myself was diagnosed with ADHD. And I know that yes, medication can help some people, but it's not necessarily right for everyone. You have to work that out with your doctor. Because for me, because of my chronic illness, fibromyalgia, I'm not able to tolerate medications the way a lot of other people can. It makes me just cringe a little bit inside when I hear someone say, "You must be on medication." Like, girl, do you want people like me living with our heads over a damn toilet all the time? Okay, just... "Milk was a bad choice."

Here's how to survive the holidays with family as an ADHDer in under 60 seconds.

Now, it became clear pretty early on that ADHD was more than just, you know, a diagnosis for Kendra. It was a key part of her online presence and content. "Body doubling is a technique used by neurodivergent people to help with focus and concentration." By the way, surprise, surprise, she was selling an internet coaching course of a thing. Yes, for a low, low price, you too can be coached by Kendra for all your ADHD needs. Please proceed with caution. It's all I could say. Proceed with caution.

With a new massive audience locked in, Kendra started to reveal more and more details about this tense attraction towards her psychiatrist. "I booked a 90-minute intake and I show up to the intake and this man is my age and I can't help but notice that he's pretty attractive." This psychiatrist...

First of all, listen, okay? I am not coming for Kendra today, okay? I'm genuinely just curious about this story. With that, I don't know why Kendra described her intake appointment as her showing up, uh, because this was all done over Zoom. It was not in person. Okay? None of this story was in person. Well, except for, we're going to get to that. But so I didn't understand how psychiatry works. So, because he was figuring out my med dose, I saw him every month. Now, for those who are unfamiliar with psychiatry, very, very loosely speaking, a psychiatrist's role is essentially to help guide a patient through, uh, you mostly their medication journey. Like, they'll typically have an intake session where they ask you, you know, a ton of questions about your medical history. And that appointment can go generally from like 5 to 10 minutes, maybe to 15 minutes to an hour and a half for like a very thorough intake appointment. But that's just the intake, and the rest of them are going to be pretty short. Now, once you establish a treatment plan, you'll check in with your psychiatrist, usually monthly, to see how you're responding. You'll particularly have to do this if you're prescribed like a controlled substance, where in many states, if not maybe all states, uh, the law requires an appointment with your doctor before you can get a refill.

"He just made me feel like I was his friend. He was really, really funny and cracked jokes and, um, told me he was impressed with my running that I would do. And, yeah, so of course I loved the attention that I got from him."

So far, all this sounds like very normal interactions from her psychiatrist. All while Kendra is thinking, "Hey, this guy, you know, you're pretty cute. He like, he's looking real good. Ooh, I like the way he's, you know, he's..." But I think what's most interesting to me is that this isn't actually him giving her like attention, you know, like romantic attention or whatever. This is literally a doctor doing his job and getting paid for it, you know. And it was in my third session with him, 'cause at this point we were all on Zoom, that I asked him, I said, "Hey, do you mind if I call you by your first name?" And he's Pakistani, so I said his first name wrong. And he said, "Well, it's pronounced this, but yes, of course you can." And he seemed so smug and happy with himself. And I know that that is because that was his first sign that him pretending like we're friends was working.

Y'all see where this is going, right? You know, she has decided, after feeling the need to point out he's Pakistani for some reason, that he tells her how to pronounce his name because she asked, and therefore must be smug and manipulative. And to be fair to me, I had only ever been to therapy before. I didn't realize that, you know, it's important to call your doctor last name. I mean, I did know that. I did it with all my other doctors. But...

Now, we're going to start seeing a pattern here with the way that Kendra speaks. In my opinion, there are times where Kendra speaks in these kind of very confusing, like loops of contradiction, whether she realizes it or not. You know, one second she wants us to be fair to her and understand that she didn't know you should address your doctor by their last name. "I didn't realize that, you know, it's important to call your doctor last name." And then she immediately after saying that contradicts herself, saying, well, yes, she did know that. And addresses all of her doctors that way. "I mean, I did know that. I did it with all my other doctors." But it just showed that the boundaries were blurring, and he liked that.

Whenever I dive into a story and try to understand what is happening, I have to remember that not everyone who's, you know, posting something on TikTok is a reliable narrator, especially when they're, you know, posting story times for views and getting fed by the views and the attention. So from then on, from my third session on, I started calling him his first name. And then he just started turning up the volume on us being friendly. First six sessions, he asked me after the meds, he said, "How's your bowels, bladder, and appetite?" And I would say, "They're all normal." And then he would ask, "Any thoughts of harm?" And then on our sixth session, when things were really, you know, the chemistry was starting to be there before, like I didn't realize it. I was like, "Oh, this man's just friendly." And he said, he said, "I have to ask this because it's a special interest of mine, but is there any thoughts of harm? Like I was special to him."

Respectfully, that is not what that means. Unless she's, you know, left something out of her story, which I guess is possible. Her psychiatrist saying that he has a special interest in knowing if she has, you know, thoughts of self-harm does not mean he thinks she's special, quote, "special" in some type of romantic way. Number one, psychiatrists generally should at some point ask about potential self-harm ideations to better inform their treatment plan. But number two, and this is a big, steamy number two, I did a lot of research into her psychiatrist because not only am I a thorough [ __ ], I have been deeply troubled by the fact that we have only heard one side of the story, Kendra. He literally legally cannot say a damn word about his interactions with his patient because of HIPAA laws. He literally cannot do that. But I did dig up and listen to several interviews with him directly. Yes, the psychiatrist. I haven't found anyone else who has done this, who has listened to him. And I do think that there is something lost here when he isn't represented in any type of way whatsoever. Now again, even though these are publicly available online, I'm still going to, you know, go a step further and alter his voice some and keep his name and the sources of where these came from private and all of that. I think, like for the sake of this Swoop Doc, I'm going to call him Dr. X. Now, if you happen to know who Dr. X is, as always, please don't say his name in the comments. Don't send him or Kendra any messages.

So, who is this guy? Who is Dr. X? Well, let's start with why he chose to become a psychiatrist in his own words. "What inspired me to become a physician? Actually, you know, being a physician was a backup plan for me. Uh, this is actually a second career. Uh, initially I wanted to be a ninja. Um, however, I realized that there were some occupational hazards associated with it. So, I had to leave that dream quite early. Um, but to be a little bit more serious..."

So, right off the bat, Dr. X is making a joke. Shocking, I know. Kendra said, you know, he made a couple of jokes on Zoom, and here he is making a harmless joke about wanting to be a ninja before, you know, he continues on. "You know, being a physician, it's it's an honor to be in this position. I think on a very basic level, we need a desire to help other people. And you're going to hear that over and over and over again. But it is really is a basic tenant, 'cause otherwise I think it becomes difficult to do this job if there's not a natural tendency for that to be there."

So, now we learn that according to him, Dr. X is motivated by a desire to help people, and he considers his job an honor. Now, yes, of course, this is just one clip, but at least it's giving some more context, albeit limited. "There's something really honest and vulnerable about the relationship that you have with a patient who's looking to you for help, for something that's happening in their life. There's trust there, and it's something that is hard to put in words what it's like to connect with someone on that level." So, according to this clip, trust is a very important foundation for Dr. X as a practicing psychiatrist. And trust is going to be a common theme that Kendra condemns. "I wouldn't trade it for anything despite my early wishes to be a ninja. It's something that I'm incredibly proud of pursuing this field, and it's something that every single day I want to strive to be better at. I'm a long way off, but, uh, but we're going to get there."

I found another interview that he did uh about a year ago where we get some insight from the host of the interview, who is also a doctor, where they both worked at a premier treatment facility together, who is familiar with Dr. X's patient feedback, so has direct knowledge of patient reviews of Dr. X. So, let's take a quick listen. And the first voice you'll hear will be the host, uh, speaking to Dr. X. "Really excited about this interview. Um, really excited to talk to you. You're one of the providers who I get a lot of really positive feedback about. I know a lot of patients find you to be a really big help. I also know that you're really passionate about continuing to learn and grow as a provider and kind of dig deep into the science." "That's very kind of you to say, but I have to give the credit to the patients. They do all the work." "Yeah. Good. Yeah, that's that's a nice attitude. But I'm sure that there's something that you're doing there. I don't know if you know this, but I think a fellow doctor has told me that he sometimes compares how many positive comments he gets to how many positive comments you get. I don't know if that's a one-sided competition or not." "I'm going to have to talk to Dr. about that."

So, it sounds like Dr. X potentially has a lot of positive feedback from patients. Now, does that mean Kendra's experience is therefore not valid? No, it doesn't mean anything other than providing some more potential context around an otherwise silenced person in this story facing a lot of accusations. "So, let's just start with kind of what's your backstory? What got you into medicine?" "It's not that much of an interesting backstory. I was born in, but I grew up in, where I developed a deep love for soccer and hip-hop. Education was prioritized in my household. So, there was a lot of encouragement to be, you know, a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer. It was pretty common. I ended up in medicine, and it was in medical school and during some research projects around that time where I developed an interest in psychiatry." "Oh, that's great."

So, let's rewind back now. Remember when Kendra said that Dr. X took a quote "special interest" in if she had thoughts of self-harm, therefore meaning that he must have found her special? "He said, he said, 'I have to ask this because it's a special interest of mine, but is there any thoughts of harm? Like I was special to him.'"

Oh, I hate it here already. So, I did a little more digging because again, thorough [ __ ] over here. Hi. Uh, and I found another interview with Dr. X where he quite literally discusses his quote "special interest." Now, what could this special interest be? A hidden passion, a dark secret, or something far more professional. Dr. X has been involved in the development of novel antipsychotics revolving around the use of ketamine for advanced treatment of depression, particularly for patients who are dealing with ideation, aka thoughts of self-harm. "Um, and it was also used to treat major depressive disorder when there's a presence of suicidality. Um, and then just looking more broadly at the literature, you know, ketamine's benefits have also been noted in cases related to trauma syndromes, PTSD, um, obsessive-compulsive disorder, uh, bipolar depression, uh, those people, the individuals who really struggle with, like you mentioned, ideation, and they just doesn't seem like medication can really help them. And, and then we have something like the ketamine, and I know that your practice, that you're the director of ketamine services. I'm sure you have seen the really positive results in your own practice."

See, this is why I stress the importance of hearing, you know, the multiple perspectives in these, you know, stories that we cover, especially, you know, these days when when finding, you know, humanity and compassion seems to be the last thing that some people want to do. Have you seen the politicians lately?

So, I was seeing him every month and just gaining more and more respect for him because he would just tell me these little things about his successes and all of the cool things that he was doing in his life. And it made me fall for him, honestly. And he was really good at listening. And I mean, he's a Pisces, right? So, of course, he's going to be there.

Now, aside from the fact that Kendra might be the first person I've ever heard complain about their doctor listening to them, Part Four is especially concerning, uh, when in the same video she severely escalates the claims. First, she essentially calls Dr. X a pred while begging him to be her therapist, even though that is not the job of a psychiatrist. So, "I would beg him to let me see him every week. Beg him because my therapist at the time, he was fine, you know, he wasn't a pred. He was fine. He just wasn't doing very much for me."

And then Kendra takes it a step further and doxes him. Yeah. "And so I went back to just being okay with seeing the month while he was giving me these little breadcrumbs of making me feel special, telling me about his professional achievements, and it worked. I was really impressed." Now, while we have, of course, muted the doxing where she literally said his name, she did not mute it. Now, I don't think I have to say this, but I will: This is [ __ ]. It not only violates his personal privacy and that of his family, if he, you know, has family, but it creates a dangerous environment where his life, his career, his colleagues, his family, they could all be threatened, stalked, harassed, or even worse. And he cannot defend himself without potentially losing his job again because of HIPAA laws. He literally cannot do anything or say anything, which I kind of believe at this point Kendra likely understood. And that makes this all very troubling to me. Doxing is a very real, very dangerous thing. And when, you know, done with the intent to jeopardize someone's safety or have the internet uh pile on or harass someone, it's a crime. You know, I've said this before, like if you ever see someone dox someone or threaten that they will call them out, report it.

So, let's take a rundown of her claims. Uh, you know, first that he's dead inside. "They can feed off of the vulnerability of their mostly female patients." Then she claimed that he's attractive. "And this man is my age and I can't help but notice that he's pretty attractive." Then there was the claim that he listens well but is also somehow pretending to listen. "That's the thing about psychiatrists is that they're good at pretending to listen." There are also many claims that he was friendly. "He just made me feel like I was his friend." Then there was the, you know, turning up of the dial. "Just started turning up the volume on us being friendly." And finally, that he would talk about his work successes. "As he would just tell me these little things about his successes." Those are the claims that she's made so far, and they will escalate as we move on. And again, when she did dox him, intentional or not, I think she has a responsibility to take it down or edit it out. She didn't take it down. In fact, she doubled down. "I accidentally said my psychiatrist's first name in one of my videos. If he clocked it, good. Good for you. I do not owe him anonymity. If anyone doxes my psychiatrist with his last name or city that he works in or clinic that he works in, you, your comment will be immediately deleted and you will be blocked."

That contradicts the fact that she had not taken down her own video saying his name. And then she says this: "This is about protecting other victims, not doxing my psychiatrist. If you do some investigative work and you want to DM me about it, I'm open to that." Okay. Three. So, she doesn't want people to dox him while simultaneously joking about if people want to investigate him and DM her what they find, she's okay with that, and then laughs. I hate all of this. Uh, because the more she posted, especially after the doxing, the more people started to trust her story less and less.

Let's do a little point and counterpoint. Devil's advocate. This is something we always do in a Swoop Doc, uh, just to give us something to think about. So, point: She isn't describing any concrete, overt harmful actions, only how he made her feel, and she loved the attention. Counterpoint: People often pick up on subtle cues that, you know, while not overtly harmful, can signal deeper red flags and the potential for something more troubling to develop. Point: He's a doctor doing his job, and part of his job is to talk to her, ask questions, be friendly, and give her his professional attention. And not everyone is able to pick up on social cues as clearly as others, particularly people with neurodivergence like myself. Counterpoint: He's a highly trained psychiatrist who would presumably be able to assess if a patient is developing feelings and therefore could use those feelings to his advantage if he intended harm. But counter-counter-counterpoint, I don't know which hand it goes on. If Kendra is projecting her own feelings or desires onto him, while she might believe in her own mind, uh, it to be true, that doesn't mean it is. So, then where does that leave things? Is she wrong for potentially feeling this way? "It is so incredibly disturbing to me the amount of people that are protectors in my comments that are victim-blaming me. Especially the mental health practitioners in my comments using therapy speak to say that this situation that I was in was my fault or that I was delusional. Check yourself. You're giving me more ammunition to share my story."

And this is where things started to take a much darker turn. And then she says something rather shocking about a car accident. "In January of 2024, I was hit by a car turning left as I was going through a green light. It was the night before my appointment, my next appointment with my psychiatrist. So, I was like, 'Okay, you know, I'll still be able to go to my appointment on Zoom. I'm I'm okay.' But I did make an appointment with an urgent care the next day just to get checked out. I had bruising on my abdomen and a perforated eardrum. The provider at the urgent care said, 'I do not feel comfortable treating you. You need to seek emergency care now. You may be internally bleeding.' But it was 11:00 in the morning, and my appointment with my psychiatrist was at 2:00. So, I decided that I was going to wait so I could see my psychiatrist and not have to reschedule because I was looking forward to my appointment with him so much. If you are in like a potential, you know, like internal bleeding whole, you like situation, please go to the hospital. Please see a doctor. I look back at that time and I'm just like, 'Oh my god, I put my own life, um, under seeing him. I was fully addicted to him at this point.' And you know what happened is that I showed up and I told him that I may be internally bleeding, and he didn't stop the appointment. He let me continue and just tell him about how much I loved him and how grateful I was for him. 'Cause that was really what most of our appointments were, is me just like pouring myself out. And I also told my therapist about this. She said nothing."

At least, in my opinion, I'm a layperson, okay? But I just kind of feel like that would be completely unprofessional and irresponsible. So again, did this happen? Did she explain this to him? Was he that diabolical? Will we ever know? Probably not. I keep coming back to the question again: If she truly believes this to be true, then what? Uh, I was so, you know, kind of bothered by this question as we were digging through the story that we thought it would be best to speak to a mental health professional for some clarity and additional expert, uh, perspective. And before I had a chance to research who I might want to speak with, out of the blue, I got a disturbing email from a longtime viewer, uh, someone I haven't met, uh, with the subject line: "Nurses in Need." Now, in the email, she shares that she's been a psychiatric nurse for nearly a decade, that she has also been hospitalized as a psychiatric patient, and that she has endured some of the most horrific and violent physical abuses I have ever heard as a nurse in the psych ward. And the thing is, almost no one cares. No one's really talking about it, particularly people in charge. So, we will here today. Uh, today's story won't just be about, you know, peeling back the wild layers of Kendra's bizarre story, and we've got a lot to cover, but we're also going to shine a spotlight on some of the atrocities deep within the world of psychiatry and psychiatric care. Meet Clarice, a talented artist, published writer, and an incredibly brave psychiatric nurse who was once herself a psychiatric patient.

"But what made you want to become a psych nurse?" "Um, well, I went into nursing initially because I love science and, uh, people. In most of nursing, you listen to the doctors, you just take, I mean, you don't just take orders, but it's not quite like psych. In psych, the beginning of the day, we do rounds. So, everybody sits at a table, doctors, therapists, everybody, and the nurse gets to run it. And that really intrigued me because I wanted that team environment. And then I started talking to the psych patients and relating to them in many ways and understanding that, you know, um, it kind of takes one to know one, I guess. And when you go through a hospitalization process, it's really hard, and it's really hard to understand that unless you've been through it. Having that insight made me a very good fit for the job."

According to findings published in PBS, quote, "Healthcare workers are five times as likely to experience workplace violence as other workers." According to government data, in a National Nurses United survey in 2022, 40% of hospital nurses said they'd seen an increase in violence incidents. "I started in the public hospital system in New York, and that is what you'll see in most typical, what we consider crazy, crazy on the street, talking themselves, yelling. It's just the quintessential. You think schizophrenia, you think psychosis, you think yelling on the subway, that's who I'm treating. Like, I could have one room with a homeless person, the next room with a sex victim who may or may not be homeless, just, and then I have next to that, I'll have like a businessman."

As we continue to move through Kendra's story about being a psych patient, and as we remember Dr. X is bound and cannot share his side of what happened, I'm going to weave in parts of my interview with Clarice to help share her perspective. While one story goes viral on TikTok, there is a dark suffering being inflicted on mental health care workers, particularly nurses, and that should alarm all of us. Clarice, when I, I kind of want to paint the picture for, uh, our viewers as to how you and I even connected in the first place, which you had essentially reached out, you know, through email. I want to read a, a little portion of your email that you sent. "I don't know if one nurse's story is enough for you to bring more awareness to this issue, but if you have any interest, please check out some of the work I've done. Nurses can certainly be mean girls, but we are also people who are being abused, and that abuse is tolerated. The last nursing job I left, I was asked by a teenage boy, 'If you can't take a hit, what are you even doing here?'" I want to first ask, what was it that led you to want to reach out to me specifically? "I liked that you looked at issues from both angles, or from all angles, really, but you were able to acknowledge if you were coming in with a bias. I really liked the fact that you are upfront about any bias you may have. You are vocal about it and you're not trying to hide that. And this is an issue that is got bias in it, that it's got a lot of viewpoint. It's got the, the patient's viewpoint, the provider's viewpoint, the nurses, everyone's got a point of view here. And I thought that you'd be able to do that justice as to giving everybody the appropriate credit and, you know, time that they do deserve."

What do you think is the biggest misconception about you, about your job, about working, you know, in psychiatry? And why are those misconceptions wrong? "Well, there's a big misconception about nursing, and then psych nursing. Is nursing is the mean girls that we have a big, there's a big problem right now where everyone's calling us catty women. You know, we're the mean girls of high school, that type of thing. I got invited to three high school parties and you got kicked out of two of them. Okay, that wasn't me. And then in psychiatry, we have the Nurse Ratched bias. It's like we have that idea of Nurse Ratched, the power high, the power seeking, all of you know, just manipulation, all of that."

Throughout my conversation with Clarice, she gives incredible insight into the world of psychiatry not often discussed. So let's rewind a little bit before we get into the really, really, really heavy part of that. Uh, let's rewind and start with some basics that helps us when it comes to Kendra's story here. Can you very briefly explain what is a psychiatrist? How does that differ from a therapist? "For the most part, as a psychiatrist, your role is diagnostics and med management. So, you're going to get a long initial appointment. They're going to talk to you, ask you all the questions, do their whole assessment, and then hopefully diagnose you from there or lead you into a differential diagnosis to get to that point. They are not going to be there for the nitty-gritty weekly, week, uh, therapy. That is a psychologist, an LCSW, you know, social workers."

Those appointments can...

last maybe 15 minutes, maybe 30 minutes at the most. Typically, unless there's an active problem, they can be as short as 5-10 minutes because if you are stable on your meds, you don't need any changes. There's no new stressors, there's no life events, you're you could just be there for refills. It could be a virtual appointment of you good, we're good. Uh thoughts to harm yourself? Nope. Da da da. And then you're out of there.

Kendra starts her series by stating that it is a fact that so many people, especially men, uh essentially feel called to become psychiatrists or therapists because they are quote emotionally dead inside. and that they just want to people who get into psychiatry or that they're emotionally dead inside and they just want to feed off the vulnerability of their quote mostly female patients. The fact that there are so many people, especially men, that are emotionally dead inside that feel called to going into psychiatry that they can feed off of the vulnerability of their mostly female patients.

How does that make you feel as a professional when you hear something like that? That pisses me off because that just casts aside so much of our entire purpose and livelihood. Like, do you think that we all work outpatient with just women with anxiety issues? No. Psychiatrists work in the forensic world. They work with kids. They work all over the place. This isn't just about sex. It's one of the least rewarding specialties to go into and I find to be the most noble because it's not compensated like surgery. you know, to choose that course as your passion and then to choose people's emotions and experiences like that and say that we're dead inside that we're just feeding off of that. No, a lot of us are damaged. True damage. There's a lot of damage and a lot of us and that's what drew us to the job to begin with because, you know, maybe we were able to help ourselves or people helped us and we want to pay it forward.

Thank you for for sharing that. My job here is to to listen and try to get through and understand perspectives, but just hearing these blanket statements made about entire professions. And then of course at the end of the day, you're a human being. It just I I was so guarded in how I was listening and understanding that these types of Tik Tok series and stories if they're not handled with more care can create so many more stigmas around the professions and also make people afraid to seek care if they need it.

So, at first Kendra framed this as, you know, I fell in love with my psychiatrist and he kept me anyways. But then it got more intense, claiming that every word, every action in their sessions was a calculated manipulation designed to kind of brainwash her into love. I got a new therapist. I stopped begging my psychiatrist to see me weekly. And that is when the reinforce intermittent reinforcement started. Some sessions he'd be warm and kind and wonderful and let me in on little parts of his life. Other sessions he would be cold and clinical and detached. And you know what that did? It made me work harder and it started the addiction that I had to him.

She does something very interesting here. She makes her interpretations of his demeanor his fault. You know, if he was, you know, quote warm and kind and wonderful, that was apparently manipulative. if he was, you know, quote cold and clinical and detached, that was also manipulative, meaning it doesn't seem like there was any way that he could behave that would have been the right way to behave, right?

He used his psychiatric training to manipulate me and get me hooked. And guess what? It worked.

It was a lose-lose for Dr. X, no matter what he did or didn't do. And in her mind, this session became a turning point for their relationship. Oh, and um she's wearing very chic face glitter now. Okay, you'll see that a lot.

After I risked my life to see him, that's when he really started turning up the intimacy in our appointments. However, he was really smart and knew the professional lines like the back of his hand. Correct me. I maybe this is just me. Knowing the professional lines like the back of his hand is what I would expect from all medical providers. I think that's a good thing.

Let's say there's a patient like Kendra. You know, I'm not going to directly reference her all, you know, all the time. We're not here, obviously, we're not going to diagnose. I certainly can't. And and you're not here to do that. I know if a patient is coming into those appointments and wanting to talk to a a psychiatrist as if they are the therapist, what would a psychiatrist do in that setting? Do they just need to kind of roll with it, listen?

You are describing a lot of the uh challenges we face with personality disorder patients um especially cluster B personality disorders those patients are often known to be very needy to you and I'm not saying needy in a bad way I'm saying they just they want a lot from you they need emotionally a lot more than other patients at times that's when boundaries come in psychiatrists number one thing they have to do is establish trust so They're going to listen. They're not going to tell you to shut up. We don't They're going to say, "That doesn't matter to your character." They're going to be listening and understanding and give you that safe environment. It sounds like that safe environment to Kendra got translated into something that it wasn't.

He would comment on my appearance, but not compliment my appearance. So, I would come on screen and he would say, "Oh, you curled your hair." or I would come on screen and he would say, "Oh, you're wearing glasses." And of course, I felt seen and excited that he was noticing these things about me. I didn't realize at this time that he had feelings for me, too. I thought I was holding them all by myself.

Now, y'all, I don't know how else to say this, and I say this with compassion from what Kendra has shared. You know, saying like, "Oh, you curled your hair," is neither a compliment nor a criticism. It's simply a statement of fact. It's just a basic observation. So, I was so excited when he noticed my glasses that I ran and showed him my other pair and he said, "I prefer turtle shell glasses."

I want to know something even more shocking about this, something that is unsettling. I watched videos and looked at photos of Dr. X. And guess what? I mean, I can't show his photo here, but guess what? He wears glasses, too. But not just any glasses. He wears uh can you guess? Yeah, you guessed it. He wears turtle shell glasses. Might that be the reason why he prefers turtle shell glasses?

So, I was so excited when he noticed my glasses that I ran and showed him my other pair and he said, "I prefer turtle shell glasses."

But this is what makes the next clip all the more uncomfortable.

Even though I usually wear contacts, I'm wearing these turtle shell glasses in these videos because I just in case he sees them ever, he'll see me in his favorite glasses. He did tell me he likes the turtle shell.

I'm almost at a loss for words here. For me, this marks a major turning point. It sounds to me like that's someone who's just making general kind of conversation, like you were saying, showing interest in what is going on in your life. You know, did you have a date? How's your relationship? Uh oh, I also wear tortois shell glasses. Just sounds kind of like a human being interaction here.

I don't know about that. That is that's some some fixation. That is wild. Like every time I met a new patient, I you know, you look you look them up and down really quick and I would usually pick out one thing that stood out to me on them and I'd compliment it. I didn't matter if I like their glasses or not, but it was to show them that I was seeing them, that I see you maybe.

Had a lot of couch time in my life, a lot of therapy. I trusted him enough, of course, why wouldn't I? To tell him about my childhood trauma, my daddy issues. It was also around this time that I asked my psychiatrist if he had diagnosed me with anything other than ADHD when I had my initial diagnosis. And he said, "Yeah, I did." I said, "Oh, what did you diagnose me with?" And he said, "Well, you had a lot of traumatic things happen to you in childhood because of your dad, and so I diagnosed you with other trauma and stressor related disorder." That was weird. Why would he keep that from me? He didn't tell me because he was using that information to manipulate me.

Turns out that that's kind of a common practice in the field of psychiatry. Something maybe she did not know. Is that common for a psychiatrist to not necessarily give the full extent of someone's diagnosis right up front? Yeah. You don't I actually don't make it a rule often to not tell patients. They'll ask me for their diagnosis cuz the sometimes the doctors won't tell them. And I don't like telling them because if you tell a patient they're depressed, they have depression, it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy and then they're like, "Well, I have depression and this and that." And and you don't want that to happen. They ask you, you can tell, you don't have to hide it from them, but you know, displaying that, you know, forcing that upon somebody without prompting.

She had asked him, "What's my diagnosis?" they would have had the conversation we always do, which is they processed the diagnosis together.

Kendra continued seeing him as her psychiatrist. Then after about a year of, you know, pent up emotion, she finally drew back the curtain and dropped the, you know, the big crush, the big crush. I told him, I said, "Today we're going to talk about my intimate life." And he said, "Oh." I said, "Yes." My psych my psychologist, my therapist asked what your opinion on it was. And I told her that I don't talk to you about this intimate stuff because I have a crush on you. And he looked down and smiled so big in that moment. And I loved it.

It's so gross thinking about it. She did something very uh that's my adjective. She did something in my personal opinion. Actually, it's kind of disturbing. She secretly recorded him. Yeah. And then I proceeded to give him 30 minutes of nonstop content about my intimate life with my boyfriend. And I actually recorded the whole thing because I was so excited about it. But now it makes me sick. I can't even listen to the recording. Any ethical psychiatrist would have stopped me and said, "Kendra, let's talk about your meds."

Kendra accuses her therapist, a woman 72 or something, of also having bad boundaries and encouraged Kendra to get Dr. ex's opinion about her issues she was apparently having with her boyfriend in the bedroom. So my therapist, who I didn't know at this time had bad boundaries, but she did. I went to her because my boyfriend and I after like more than a year together, we started having issues in the bedroom. And so I went to my therapist and she asked me, "What does your psychiatrist think about this?" I don't know. I haven't talked to my psychiatrist about this stuff because I have a crush on my psychiatrist and I don't want to tell him this intimate of stuff. And she said, "Well, you should tell him because I want a male's perspective."

Let's let's do a little point and counterpoint again. So point since Dr. X didn't tell her this was inappropriate or shut her down, he must have somehow enjoyed it. He's a man and dead inside. Counterpoint. Part of his job is to listen to the patient and what they want to discuss. And his job is to identify if her medications are potentially causing issues in her personal life. Therefore, he had to listen. Point. Most lay people believe that it's inappropriate to discuss one's intimate life with other people. Period. Counterpoint. A psychiatrist is not a lay person. They are not thinking in the same framework that the rest of us are. They're smarter. They do other things in the brains when they're talking about this stuff.

What really concerns me is how Kendra conflates this incident with grooming. A very dangerous, very sinister, and often misused word that we have talked about often on this channel and something that I have survived personally. As you all know, I'm going to disclose that. So, you know where I'm coming from. I was groomed and sexually abused as a child and I know many of you have survived this as well. That's why it's such an important topic for me to discuss. It was pretty much his Christmas morning. The almost 2 and 1/2 years of grooming to get me to talk about sex things with him worked and he got 30 minutes of non-stop content to use.

I cannot stress this enough and I say this with kindness. This is not sexual group in my opinion and it does in my opinion a disservice to survivors of sexual group. I see a lot of people misuse this term all of the time all over the internet. It it is is very frustrating and I'm just trying to provide some clarity where I can. Two and a half years of grooming to get me to talk about sex things with him worked.

To clarify, she set this entire story up by saying her therapist, not Dr. X, but her therapist is the one who requested she share with Dr. X that she was having issues in the bedroom. Now, presumably, I don't know, speculation, but presumably because her therapist wanted to make sure her psychiatrist who handles her prescriptions was aware there was something going on that might tie into her medication and her care, I told him. I said, "Today we're going to talk about my intimate life." And he said, "Oh." I said, "Yes." My psych my psychologist, my therapist asked what your opinion on it was.

So Kendra goes from clearly stating that her therapist asked her to clearly stating that her psychiatrist was surprised she was bringing it up. Oh. To then accusing him of grooming her into talking about it when she is the one who brought it up presumably at the behest of her therapist. I'm extending all of the grace that I possibly can here. And I'll be honest with myself, this frustrates me deeply. I believe that when terms like this are misused, it contributes to desensitizing millions of people who watched this series to the severity of actual grief. When you take away a word's meaning, you take away the power that survivors of it deserve to have. And when they use those words, people can take it far less seriously. And that is so terrifying to me because of my own experience and because I've seen it happen far too many times. Find other words. There are millions of other words to use when that's not the situation.

In the midst of her growing attachment to her psychiatrist, she allegedly went on a date uh with a man who allegedly also worked as a psychiatrist. uh an experience that only gave her more reason to believe in the love story that she had built up with Dr. X. I started dating this other guy and this other guy, this new guy was a therapist and I was like, "Oh, great. Someone who will be able to emotionally meet my needs." Yeah, I'm not going to date another therapist again.

I know. Wait for it.

Our second date was a hike. And on this hike, this therapist starts telling me about how he has a crush on one of his clients. So then he continues and he said, "Yeah, she wears these red lacy pianies and short skirts and I know she wears them for me." And like alarm bells were going off in my head. Mind you, I had no idea that my psychiatrist had similar feelings towards me at this point. And he said, "Yeah, and you know, she just is so attractive that I have to smash mermaid before every session because I just have to get that energy out of me." And I was like, "What the fuck?" Okay. Okay, y'all. I I'm at a loss for words here. Like, this is a claim that she made. And and again, there's there's no way for any of us to look into this further. If that was her experience with this therapist she went on a date with, then he he should be investigated.

Are you familiar with people, colleagues that you've worked with who have shared having attractions towards their patients? As we keep saying, we are people, you know, and and fortunately sometimes men are dogs. So you you I've treated models before. Like I've had I've admitted runway models before. Am I supposed to say that they're just not attractive? Is everyone just supposed to not see that they're gorgeous? No. But if you can't get past that and that starts to impact the care, that's when you need to remove yourself.

None of this, however, seems to relate to Kendra's experience with Dr. X. Uh, but while she labeled this other unrelated guy as a prred, in the same story, seconds later, she also now escalates and labels Dr. X as a prred. So, he told me about how he's a right, another in the mental health industry. Shocker. At my next appointment with my psychiatrist, keep in mind, it had been 6 weeks of non-stop fun for this man. He got to use my crush confession and 30 minutes of content. Oh, for whatever he wanted to use it for. Again, to be clear that, you know, 30 minutes of content, uh, as she frames it, what that was her telling her psychiatrist that she wanted to discuss her intimate life per her therapist's instructions, and he was surprised. Oh, and then she recorded it without him knowing. And if my psychiatrist was good at anything, it was being professional and acting professional and technically not crossing any lines. And he thought that he was so good at it, cuz he was. He was good at it. I just what are we doing here?

I went to my psychiatrist and I told him this story about this man that I went on a date with who's a therapist is relieving himself before appointments and talking about his client's panties. And this this man, my psychiatrist, looked like he had seen a ghost and like he was going to vomit because he prided himself on being an extremely professional and buttoned up person. And that is exactly the response that I would expect from a medical professional, from a trained psychiatrist. I would hope the psychiatrist turns ghost in shock and horror. She instead uses this against him. But here I was holding a mirror to him with exactly what he was doing. When when was he doing this? I look back on that now and it's just crazy. And so it just tainted all the fantasy material that I had given him the session before.

So, we are now at part nine and I I'm going to have to start speedrunning because starting out with you being in Tik Tok jail. I am now in Tik Tok jail and I can understand that for some people in the mental health space because they have been some of the loudest people to speak out against what I'm doing. It's hard to grasp that someone could have this level of predation in such a high place of power. At this point, Kendra was blocking anyone who had genuine concerns about her story and had questions, essentially creating an echo chamber of people who didn't ask questions.

I start emailing him my fun little emails, but he stops writing me back. He does not write back to my emails anymore. Um, cuz once again, he was really good at plausible deniability. But what he did do is he would take my emails and mention them in session.

Is it plausible deniability or simply someone not replying to a client? I mean, think about it. would you respond to the email? Even when she was sending emails to him, she said that he would leave her on red. He essentially he wouldn't respond to the emails. And she was interpreting that as master manipulation that he knew, you know, she would use these phrases like, you know, he knew not to leave a paper trail kind of a thing, which just

So honestly, I think that this is quintessential doctor. often times they're they're they don't respond to the email because that's the nurse's job. Like to communicate with the patient on the daily basis, that's the nurse's job. So why would he be responding to those emails? I don't see anything typing out appropriate other than let's discuss this in our Nest session. It's so it's so simple and it's like so obvious when you hear, you know, from someone who's trained in this field to be like, well, that wouldn't even be his job. Like that's normally normally it's going to be the nurse.

Now, here's where things start to get even more extreme and more concerning with Kendra's statements. And then I realized that I didn't have my next appointment with him. So, I called his office staff and I talked to the office manager who was awesome. We really got along. We vibed. And the office manager asked me, "Do you see him, the psychiatrist, in person or on Zoom?" And I felt so angry in that moment. I was like, "He sees people in person?" And she said, "Yeah, he has been for years." I was like, "I want to see him in person." And I understand like some people may think that this is part of my crash out of part of me harassing him, which is what I've gotten lots of um accusations of, but I just would like to remind everyone that of course it seems that way. Um but I was just responding to a dynamic which my psychiatrist fostered.

Damned if he does. Definitely damned because he doesn't. And now she's pissed. And so then the next time I saw him in Zoom, I told him I was like, "Hey, your office manager outed you and told me that you see people in person." Why didn't you tell me that when I asked?

Now, if I were to guess, it's maybe because he wanted to keep a firm boundary after you said that you have a crush on him. And he said, "Oh, I just didn't think you'd want to come in." And that was such a weak lie from him, from someone who is so scripted and controlled. He didn't even have a plausible thing to say. Of course, he knew I wanted to come in. I had a crush on him. I told him that often and you better believe I showed up to the next session and said you lied to me because you were afraid of the tension that would be there between us. So she insists on booking an appointment in person.

So then November rolls around and I'm about to meet my psychiatrist in person for the first time. So I wear a really pretty dress. I do my makeup of course, right? Um and I show up and I get to talk to the office manager. We're having fun. And then my psychiatrist comes into the foyer and I am just so excited to finally meet him. I'd been his patient for 3 years at this point and he had been feeding the dynamic for 3 years and I was just thrilled thrilled to meet him and I ran up and I gave him the biggest hug and you know what he did? He barely patted me on the back. It was the most awkward thing ever. But I am so glad that he did that. I am really glad cuz this is what I mean. My psychiatrist was many things but he was not stupid. So, I didn't ever touch him again and I'm grateful that our relationship didn't ever cross that line because it would have made everything so much harder. So, his reaction, I don't blame him uh at all. He is entitled to his own physical personal boundaries like any other human being.

I want to take a second to spotlight a disturbing and pervasive issue that has gone largely under reportported and that's abuse within the mental health care community. In my opinion, if we don't start to address this head-on, this growing crisis could reach levels of unimaginable harm, not just for nurses, but quite literally for all of us. as we are all impacted and at some point in our lives we will likely most of us depend on their care. Now before sitting down to interview Clarice I read a piece she wrote for New City titled hospital hell the psych ward during where she discussed the harrowing experience she and other nurses survived you know not merely during lockdown while you know frontline workers were being you know cheered as heroes and they very much were heroes. Clarice shares about the crisis after a crisis that almost no one is talking about. So I'd like to read a short excerpt of what she wrote. Quote, "When they finally came to us in the psych ward, they were really sick. They had gone months without their medications. Their support system had been cut off and many were laid off from their work. Night after night, day after day, NYPD and EMS brought us patients, each one sicker than the last. Now, as the acuity increases, the level of patient aggression follows. I've never experienced that level of violence in patients."

So, in the the piece that you wrote for New City, which was just a phenomenal piece, uh I'm going to try to make sure to link it and encourage everyone to read it. And so, in it, you detailed what life was like as a psych nurse uh kind of during and shortly after the pandemic. I'd like to read something that you wrote. Uh by this time the applause outside had stopped kind of referencing the general public. The cheering you on had kind of dwindled down. Uh as we know appreciation with people dies pretty quickly often. Uh the appreciation was dwindling while the work pressure was compounding. By this point death was everywhere. My unskilled hands now routinely performed chest compressions and postmortem care. People were dying one after one. I delicately crossed their hands before placing them in a body bag. It became my normal. I became numb. Yet we all walked in with our heads held high for our patients. We put on a brave face and kept our tears to the bathroom. And then you went on to share, "The hospital could only be described as hell. We dropped like flies in psych. Each injury sustained was increasingly serious. Nurses and staff suffered wounds including black eyes, concussions, broken ribs, bites, torn retinas."

If you wouldn't mind, could you share a little more about your experience during that period of time and even afterwards uh throughout the your your extent as when you were practicing as a psych nurse about the the vi the violence that nurses have encountered so often that is so vastly under reportported. Um so that that job that I had before the pandem was the best job in the world. It really was. I loved that job. I had become assistant head nurse achieved a great role and I loved my team and then just massacred my team. they broke down and we didn't have enough people to to literally fight this huge rush of people coming in. So, there wasn't enough security, meaning there was more injuries, meaning there's more staff out, meaning there's even less people to help. There was a team of behavioral health associates who would respond to crisis, sturdy men and women. They were strong people and almost every one of them had a major injury by the end of the time I left there. It was it was brutal. I I got injured so badly during that time.

A 2025 study titled alarming rise in nurse assaults published in nurse leader reported quote a gradual increase in reported on nursing personnel is evident with the data revealing a troubling upward trend in on nursing staff. patients were identified as the primary asalants accounting for 95 to 98% of all annually. I talk about how I broke. I I spent those years fighting hours and hours and seeing death and getting hurt and then having my boss say to me with a black eye. I went to her and I said, "I I need to go home today. I can't. I'm tired. I need a break." Black eye sobbing. It was a nightmare because I'm in front of all of the bosses. She just makes me break down in front of all them. Won't let take me aside and then just says just like this, are you sure that you're fit for a career in psych? Cuz it certainly doesn't look like it. And I I just kind of composed myself because I wanted to scream what I gave so much and you're going to question me at this point. It was had I gotten support, it probably would have been a better experience for me. It probably wouldn't have been so traumatic. But I was cut off just like my patients were from everything. I was so angry at my patients for dying, for hurting us, for not letting us help them. I was so furious at that point that I was just questioned. Yeah, that was that was a heartbreaking day.

According to a report from the National Center for Health workforce analysis, there were an estimated 4.3 million registered nurses at the end of 2021 and a staggering percentage of that workforce left. Quote, "The most common reason given for leaving the workforce were high-risisk working conditions, 51.3% of RNs who left the workforce, feelings of being overworked or burned out, about 50.1%, inadequate staffing, 39.3%, and unsatisfactory safety protocols, 36.8. 8%. In 2003, the National Council of State Board of Nursing reported on the crisis of nursing shortages, stating, quote, "The data reveals that 100,000 nurses left the workforce during the pandemic, and by 2027, just 2 years from now, almost 900,000 or almost 1if of 4.5 million total registered nurses intend to leave the workforce, threatening the national health care system at large if solutions are not enacted.

If you could just summarize in a sentence, what is the main issue you want to bring awareness to? What would that be? Nursing is in dire straits. We need help. We're not the mean girls. That is not how you paint all of us. And that does not mean you get to hit us. That doesn't mean you get to hurt us because one nurse was a [ __ ] to you at one point. That doesn't mean you get to hit every nurse going on forward. I cannot stress enough how dire of a situation this is becoming. How are you supposed to navigate that without adequate support? Uh not just on a

we're just blamed. We're blamed. That's unbelievable.

It's 100%. I have I have a 3-in scar in my arm right here by being lifted up and dragged violently across the wall. There's a huge streak of blood. You know what my boss said? Why weren't you wearing long sleeves?

That's unbelievable. What do nurses need? What did you need in those moments? For those in charge, you need to have more nurses. It's a I watched a documentary from the '7s about a residential psych uh facility. They are complaining about the same things we're complaining about today. We could have better treatment. We could have less restrictive treatment. We could have less restraints if we had more funding, if we had more staff. That's the same thing we're saying 50 years later. The more people you have on the floor, the more individualized care and the more time you have to give that care.

Marian Alexander, the chief officer of nursing regulations, said this quote, "The data is clear. The future of nursing in the US healthc care ecosystem is at an urgent crossroads. The pandemic has stressed nurses to leave the workforce and has expedited an intent to leave in the near future, which will become a greater crisis and threatened patient populations if solutions are not enacted immediately. There is an urgent opportunity today for health care systems, policy makers, regulators, and academic leaders to coalesce and enact solutions that will spur positive systemic evolution to address these challenges and maximize patient protection in care into the future.

the things that that Clarice is sharing about and that what so many nurses and providers are going through is absolutely unacceptable. Full stop. They are sacrificing themselves in a lot of situations to be able to provide care for the rest of us. The other element of this is if we have less nurses, we have less staff within hospitals, whether it's mental health or physical health. Less staff, less nurses means less ability to bring in patients who need treatment. you show up, there's going to be potentially no one there to care for you. So then on the extreme end of that, we could start seeing a crisis of increased loss of life, people who aren't being treated for potentiable or curable or treatable illnesses or injuries or disease, right? So it's not just something that impacts the providers, which is a serious thing that needs to be taken care of, but this ripples out to literally all of society if we don't figure this out. You took a group of passionate healthare workers of people caregivers who are in the job because they want to help people and you pushed them to their absolute limits and they are seeing higher levels of or higher demand of care with less resources. In the past 5 years, it has just gone down in terms of work safety environment, staffing levels, so many other things. In order to change the course of the nursing crisis, we have to engage nurses more in these conversations as a starting point and urge our lawmakers to treat this with the urgency that it requires. expanding educational programs and recruitment, addressing burnout, offering more support resources, utilizing tech to assist administrative burdens, getting more financing, more funding from these billionaires who are off doing billionaire games with people's lives of facilitating better pay are just some of the overhauls that are required. And that's just from from what I've been able to find. How you vote, who you vote for matters, even down to local elections. press them to improve nursing conditions and the educators and understand how nurses are being treated when you get your own health care. And if the estimates that I read about are true that by 2029, that's 3 3 years from now, that almost 40% of nurses plan to leave the workforce. If that happens, God help us all. They deserve better. Please keep the conversation going in the comments. Share this video. Share the interview. I'm going to have the an extended cut of this interview available for free on my Patreon uh that you can also check out. Share that. And a huge thank you, huge huge thank you to Clarice for her vulnerability and sharing her story as well as her insights in the rest of the Kendra story.

So with that, let's get back to Kendra. So throughout Kendra's series as we jump around uh she believes that Dr. X must you know have feelings for her because he never shot her down. So what happens when he does clearly reject her. So, while I was mid crash out, I had just started using this tool, chat GBT, and I went to chat, who I immediately named Henry, and I would just talk to Henry about how obsessed I was with this man with my psychiatrist, and I would just be like, "I've told him I have a crush on him. Do you think he's gay?" Wo. Even my chat was like, "Yikes." Yeah. Yikes. She turned to chat GPT and created a chatbot named Henry to process her obsession. I'm sure that nothing could go wrong here, right?

Then she has another Zoom session with Dr. X and she tells him, "You and I have a really special patient doctor relationship and he glared at me with just venom in his eyes and he said, "You and I have a professional patient doctor relationship."

Boundary alert. I'm just we're calling it out. Boundary alert. After she went in to see him in person, uh she claimed that, you know, they had a connection and he said absolutely not. He was so angry with me and I was like oh okay you set a boundary and immediately took it on and I was like heard okay I won't go there again. So rather than going there again, she posted, you know, this 25p part series calling him a sophisticated prred, which seems fair. Continuing with my story, my psychiatrist set a very nasty the way he said it boundary that him and I have a professional relationship when I tried to say it was special because it was special. It was different. He manufactured it that way. So, first she calls the way he set his boundary nasty, insinuating that if someone sets a boundary, it has to be done to, I guess, to her liking, which negates the purpose of a boundary most of the time. She then doubles down on their relationship, which doesn't actually exist, and blames him for everything. He didn't ever really do anything wrong. He just let me do things wrong. And you know, I'm not saying um that this is definitely what happened. It's just how I'm taking it. Um and I came to TikTok.

There was a moment where Kendra got extremely angry. People are asking me what my mental health diagnosis is. I do not have BPD. I do not have psychosis. I have ADHD. And I was experiencing extreme lirance with my psychiatrist. And guess what? My psychiatrist knew that and used it to his advantage.

We touched upon this a bit how one approaches a patient who is having these feelings potentially not rooted in reality but for them it very much is their reality. It's called splitting the black and white thinking where you go from I'm in love with you to you are predator and there's very little room in between those two. I I am a nurse. I am not a doctor. I don't diagnose. But seriously, this it's a disservice to this woman if she does not get screened for a personality disorder because ADHD and borderline personality disorder have a lot of overlap and unfortunately get misdiagnosed for each other sometimes. But she is splitting. So it's that extreme thinking that back and forth and it's a protective mechanism within her.

Here's where she learns some, you know, fancy new terms, transference and counter transference. Henry told me it's very common for patients to develop crushes on mental health practitioners. And then he told me about transference and it's just about me putting my own feelings onto my provider. And I was like, "Oh, that makes a lot of sense." Okay. So, I took ownership of the feelings that both of us were creating. So, I told my psychiatrist and then I said, "Henry also told me about transference." And my psychiatrist got this really, really scared look on his face and he said, "Did Henry tell you about counter transference? And I said, "No, what is that?"

It's about to get way more intense. And some of this is legitimately I'm just going to be honest here and say that some of this is going to start to piss me off a bit. Okay, Kendra is about to use that as proof that he has feelings for her. He said counter transference is the flip side, the other side of the coin for transference, and it's when the provider has feelings for the patient. So, make sure that you keep that in mind for your clients. I said, "Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, sometimes I have, you know, more than professional feelings for my clients." So, I appreciate you bringing that up, but did you keep them anyways? It's an honest question. When you had feelings for your patients, your clients, did you keep them as clients anyways?

I said, "Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, sometimes I have, you know, more than professional feelings for my clients." So, I appreciate you bringing that up. Kendra herself just said that, you know, quote, "Sometimes she has more than professional feelings for her clients. Did she drop them the way she's saying Dr. X should have dropped her?" And the answer appears to be, from what I gather, one giant No, at least from what it seems like, uh, she said that one of her patients fell in love with her. And Kendra did not drop her client. What the [ __ ] are we doing here? And what if one of your clients fell in love with you and and and and the roles were reversed. Now

it actually happened. It happened. And I set very clear boundaries with him. He started trying to text me in between sessions and I would tell him, "I'm not available to talk to you about this."

Is that not exactly what you said Dr. X did?

Okay.

Wait a minute. Why would my psychiatrist bring up counter transference if he himself wasn't experiencing it? Perhaps it was simply to further your education about transference so that you are in fact mindful about the more than professional feelings you have for some of your own clients that you kept. Anyways,

transference is when you transfer feelings that you had for like say your mother or father, you transfer that to your provider. So you feel inappropriate feelings towards your provider. They're not always affection. Sometimes it's transference of anger of uh resentment of other things. Counter transference is when that occurs on the provider's part. We're trained to handle this counter transference and how to acknowledge it and then work through that on our own part. But instead of at the very least being open to the possibility, Kendra doubled down with AI and emailed Dr. acts once again violating his boundary while also believing that AI couldn't possibly feed someone's echo chamber or delusions which I think is dangerous when research has clearly shown that that is often exactly what happens if you don't know how to use it.

So I went to Henry of course my chat GBT and asked for examples of how my psychiatrist might have counter transference for me. So I screenshotted it, sent my psychiatrist an email with the subject line of counter transference and emailed it with him to him within an hour of our appointment where he made probably the biggest slip of his professional life. Now remember Kendra only had appointments with Dr. X once a month over Zoom for around you like 15 to maybe 30 minutes. And while she's kind of made it sound like her crush is the vast majority of what she'd talk about in sessions, it was actually only about once every 3 months.

right? So, so at what point are you saying he should cut you off?

But I would tell him repeatedly at least once a quarter, I have feelings for you. I have a crush on you. I think about you in between our sessions.

Well, getting to the the transition of care, the transfer of care, she refers to it. She goes on and on about how he should have just dropped her. He should have just to drop her. He didn't need to drop her because she wasn't I mean, honestly, maybe he should have at one point. I don't know exactly where that line was, but having that type of crush, those those are those are pretty common. And I think that it would have been a disservice to her and set her back had he just dropped her. She's cycled through a lot of therapists, so she's got some, you know, unstable relationships to begin with. He's trying to be, you know, break that pattern and show her stability and everything else. and she, you know, misinterpreted that to be something else. Should there be corrective action after? Yes. But should Evie just dropped her? I really don't think that was a responsible thing to do to just drop a patient like that. That's not how it works. Like, you transition patients to other providers. You don't just drop them.

And just when I thought Kendra storytelling would finally come to a close, she somehow brings race into this, which listen y'all, okay? I I am I'm tired, but I was going to leave this alone, but she manages to offend countless black women while simultaneously posing herself as the ultimate ally. Let me remind all of us here, she was the one who felt the need early on to mention his nonwhite ethnicity when it has nothing to [ __ ] with the story. I still don't need to know that he's a person of color for you to underscore whether or not you botched the pronunciation of someone's name. It's time to talk about the elephant in the room, and that is the racial difference between me and my doctor. I have seen a lot of black women on this app with the same take. And I need to say that black women are the most important people on the planet to me. And that I have learned so much from black women about how to be a better person and how to show up better in the world.

They are the culture, and I am so grateful for them.

I'm going to be so real right now. There is not one inch of me that believes that black women are the most important thing in the world to Kendra. Now, I'm not saying she's racist, but this to me, in my perception, with the way I look, is performative. In my personal opinion, many black women are seeing my story through the lens that I am a white woman who is taking advantage of my whiteness to wield power over my POC psychiatrist that didn't want me back, and so I am trying to get him fired.

Yes, one could easily feel led to that conclusion, and there is a very real power dynamic at play here. Firstly, she is making a 25-part TikTok series about a doctor who cannot defend himself, as he would lose his license. We talked about this, right? Second, Kendra is the one who brought his race into the story for no reason. And as a white woman, making a claim about a person of color is going to set off red flags in many, many people.

As a white person, I do my best to examine my racism every single day. Maybe she does. I'm guessing she does not. And I will tell you that my psychiatrist boss is his best friend, who is also a POC male. That is a prime example as to why I do not believe she quote examines her racism every single day, because yet again, she is bringing up someone's non-white ethnicity in a situation where it has nothing to do with the story. This time, she brings up Dr. Ex's boss, since when? When are we talking about his boss, who apparently is a person of color? Do you see how it is just so completely unnecessary to anything about the story? And I will tell you that my psychiatrist boss is his best friend, who is also a POC male. And in that room, I did have white privilege, and he was also my doctor, and he took an oath to protect me, and he did not.

I have no idea why Kendra felt it was appropriate to bring this up at all, and that is all I have to say on that.

Okay, so let's take a deep breath and run down a few more key moments, starting with Kendra halting her therapy. So, I go into my next therapy appointment and I say, "Hey, just so you know, today's going to be our last session. I'm doing really well and I just think it's time." And she got kind of emotional, and she was like, "Okay, well, I like to end on certain questions, um, just so we can reflect." So, I did. I left her office feeling complete and happy with my therapeutic journey with her. As I was leaving, she called out with like crying. She was like, "Have a blessed life." And I was like, "Okay, that was a little weird."

But so, I guess we've now entered the era where someone saying, you know, "Have a blessed life" is apparently weird. And this happened, and I get an email that same night from her saying that she needs me to come back in for one more session. I had seen lots of therapists at this point, and I didn't ever have a therapist beg me to come back in for one more session. And I was so overwhelmed, I did not rate her back. But it was extremely inappropriate. So, here's the email that Kendra called extremely inappropriate from her therapist: "I am so thrilled for you as you prepare for your new adventure. Since I did not have advanced notice of this being our last session, I was not prepared to provide what I believe is healthful closure. Usually, we review your goals and see how we did, as well as look at how you've changed, in addition to discussing what you've learned, which we address somewhat today. Please consider having an additional session where we both are aware of making it the best closure possible with gratitude." Was it actually inappropriate for a therapist to email a patient asking for one more session for closure? I, I mean, I know, right? Uh, so I asked the professional.

Therapist was probably trying to do a safety assessment, 'cause if you just, you know, cut off care, that's concerning. That's an abrupt change of behavior. But yeah, you're going to want to see them again. Make sure they're still okay.

And then things took a very dark turn, in my opinion, with how Kendra behaved with Dr. Ex, her psychiatrist, uh, when she says this: "A couple weeks ago, on the full moon when I was ovulating, I had a dream about you." And he was like, "Oh, yeah?" I said, "Yeah." So, I told him this, and I said, "Yes, we hooked up right here in this office." And he all of a sudden just looked so uncomfortable. Now, could he be uncomfortable because he is potentially being sex-asked after having set a very firm professional boundary that you continue to violate? It's just a question. He didn't say anything. He couldn't look at me. He couldn't breathe. And sure, you know, maybe he was uncomfortable 'cause he didn't like me saying that I had a dream where we hooked up. But he could have said that, but he didn't. You would want to know why he was uncomfortable? Because he had probably played out that fantasy so many times in his head. I am honestly, I'm a bit horrified by this. This is exactly the type of abusers have said to victims that they were violating. Well, you know, they could have said they were uncomfortable, but they didn't. So, you know, it, it's their fault. You know, they secretly wanted it. And there I was speaking it back to him, and it was like I had psychically downloaded one of his fantasies. This is just kind of disgusting to me, if I'm, you know, it's just kind of disgusting. And I don't think that there's just a pass because she says she has ADHD. I continued and I said, "Yes, we hooked up in this office and I really liked it while it was happening. He could not move or breathe."

At what point does a provider, just in general, taking it outside of Kendra, at what point do they get to say, "Cut this out. I'm a human being, too." Like, do they get to say that? How do you kind of thread that line of where you're balancing, okay, this could, you know, these actions of a patient could be due to whatever their diagnosis is, but they should also be able to know not to do these types of things. I realized that line very early on the job. The line between you are sick and you're an asshole. One, you have responsibility, and one you don't. That idea of the line between illness and asshole is a very fine one. It's individual to every single person, and sometimes it changes day-to-day.

As the backlash on TikTok was rising to a fever pitch, wouldn't you know, someone came out with allegations against Kendra, and not just anyone, a former friend and a client. Okay, so I guess this is part two of, "I don't know who the hell I was friends with and let coach me and take advantage of me at like a really vulnerable time in my life."

Buckle up, friends. This is about to get wild. Remember when I mentioned that Kendra is a mental health coach?

Are you open about what you do for work?

Oh, yeah. I'm an ADHD coach and I help ADHDers become more empowered.

Say, are you licensed for this, or are you just?

No.

As people were calling Kendra out, Emily came forward alleging Kendra had exploited her mental health in a video captioned, quote, "I was at a really low point and reached out to a friend and in turn got propositioned for coaching."

I became one of her clients like right after she stopped using both her therapist and this like psych psychiatrist guy. I was in a position where like I really needed to go on a sobriety journey and I was at like a really low point, and I hoped that like she'd be able to like talk to me about it, you know, like as a friend.

Now, first, I'm going to underscore that Kendra took a friend and turned them into a mental health client. I'm not saying that's wrong, but it seems at odds with these, you know, ethical boundaries that she keeps posting about. You're saying you don't have medical or ethical training, but you're coaching. In what areas do you have the training for?

Yeah. So, I teach people how to lower anxiety and depression. I teach people about their human design, uh, which is kind of like astrology meets quantum physics. I do tarot pulls for them, give them tarot readings. You know, I, I'm an intuitive person.

So, back to Emily. She shares that she reached out to Kendra as a friend to help her with her sobriety journey, and Kendra responded by sending a link to book a damn session with her.

This should have been a red flag.

Okay, I'm sorry. I just need a damn minute. Okay, we've been very serious. I'm very tired. I'm still a little sick. I can hardly hear anything. My ears are so clogged. So, Petty University, roll the intro. I think it goes without saying that Kendra has no license and no training when it comes to being a mental health and sobriety coach, but let me say it anyways. She has no license and no training. Now, does that mean a person can't be a coach? No. But does that mean you should be extra careful when hiring someone with no training to guide your mental health? Yes. Now, because Kendra is about to do something absolutely antithetical to what I would assume is ethical, professional, nor in the best interest of someone's mental health, high-stakes pressure sales tactics typically reserved for exploitative influencers trying to sell you a course on some bull, you're about to scam you on. Check out my second channel, 'cause we cover a lot of that.

And she then starts the pitch of like, "I do think like it'd be really great if we like didn't just talk as friends, like if we really worked on this together in a coaching relationship," and that like this was like, yeah, like I think it could be great, but I still just like need a little bit of time to think about it. And she said, "Well, normally it is like ADHD coaching, but like I'm more than happy to do like sobriety coaching with you. I've already sent you the invoice and the contract to sign."

I've already sent you the invoice to the coaching you haven't agreed to doing.

I really would like to think about it. And she's like, "Now's the time. Don't think, just do."

"Don't think, just do" might be the worst thing I'd ever want to hear from an ADHD life coach. That is bullshit to get. I'm someone with ADHD. Don't fuck with me.

I see the invoice, and the invoice is for $3,000 for three months, and these are going to be like once a week, 45-minute long sessions.

What? I'm $3,000 human, basically $250 per 45 minutes with someone who says, "Don't think, just do." What the ever-loving is happening here?

And I was really desperate. I think that's like a key thing. I was really desperate, and I did. I signed the contract and I tried to pay.

Kendra was, in my opinion, praying on someone who was vulnerable with an invoice sent.

And my card wouldn't go through because it was like an unknown vendor. Like, "I'll just call in the morning and like get it sorted out." And she's like, "I really want you to do it right now. Call your bank right now, and I'll like stay on the phone with you."

And what did Kendra have to say? Well, she was betrayed.

Let's talk about my former client who's getting a lot of traction. I wouldn't know because she blocked me. This one is especially hard for me because she's someone that I also considered a friend. My only client that I've ever had that was my friend first. And so her betrayal is extra stingy.

I'm sure you can see where this is going, but wait, there's more, because this next part, I just, I have no words.

When I did my intake form, she did mention something about like human design, and I had never heard about human design, and I genuinely thought that it was going to be like some sort of like psychology thing, and boy was I wrong. Um, human design is like similar to astrology. It uses your birth chart. She does my chart, and it comes to find out that like I'm in like the 1% of people. I'm a reflector, which I guess is like the finger of God. And she kept talking about how like I'm a finger of God, and when this like reckoning happening happens in 2027, and the new world order comes through, that like I'm going to be one of the people who's like really leading it.

Well, now that we've established that Emily is the, um, finger of God, I decided it's time to look at Kendra's website. Oh, joy. In the heading, she describes herself as an ADHD mindset coach, spiritual response therapy practitioner, and yoga teacher. I'm now teaching yoga every Tuesday morning on TikTok Live at 8:00 a.m. Pacific for my deluxe subscribers. Uh, she describes this service as, quote, "Spiritual response therapy is a powerful energy healing modality that works with your high self to clear subconscious blocks using a pendulum and a system of specialized charts. I connect with divine guidance to uncover and clear the root cause of emotional, mental, and energetic imbalances." Listen, people could believe what they want. I will believe what I do. And in my belief, I would say on a scale from Freud to fraud, this is giving Firefest. Uh, but it doesn't stop there.

Because in June is when it got really weird, and this is when ChatGBT came into the picture.

Yes, friends. ChatGBT once again enters the chat. GBT. I, I hate it here.

And then she also starts doing this thing with cognitive behavioral therapy, which I am familiar with CBT. She is not licensed to do CBT. Turned around months later and started doing cognitive behavioral therapy.

Girl, run. Uh, in many states, it is illegal to perform CBT without a license if you are advertising your services as psychotherapy or using the title therapist, which is generally protected. This is also when she started talking about Henry, aka Chat GPT. And I know that like you can't just like start asking it random yourself, like at all. That is how spiritual psychosis happens. So, she's like encouraging me to use ChatGBT for cognitive behavioral therapy, which is super dangerous.

Yes, people, for the love of God, please, please, please do not use ChatGBT for cognitive behavioral therapy.

Do I kind of believe in past lives? Sure. Do I think that like this random chick that I know from Oregon, who has now telling me to use ChatGBT for my therapist, is going to help me discover what past life blockages are like helping me? Absolutely the not.

I like this woman's energy right now. Listen, Emily. Emily, you're about to get an honorary doctorate in Petty University. Thank you for exercising your right to, to critical thinking. Trust me, I get the allure of using chat. I really, really, really do. Therapy can be very expensive. So many of us are coping with brutal social anxiety and loneliness and all kinds of things. And talking to a chatbot can be very reassuring. So I'm not just fully ruling it out. I just want us to be aware of the risks. What could be some of those risks? Are there benefits to it that you see?

Can I, uh, well, there's benefits. Yes. 'Cause, uh, you know, people are lonely. You just have it as a friendly small talk. That's something. I talked to my brother about this because he works in AI. He's a smart guy. And I asked him, pretty much what you were saying. And he's like, "Well, you know, they're the models are meant to keep you back. At the end of the day, the AI is meant to keep you typing to it. It's going to agree with you." And agreeing with a healthy-minded individual about, you know, their English homework is one thing, but when you add in mental illness, that is dangerous because you're starting to validate delusions and things like that.

We finally arrived at the point in Kendra's story where she leaves Dr. X. Now, yes, there was a whole situation with like a yoga studio and some other items that we don't have time for.

And we just want to make it crystal clear that Kendra's recent actions in class do not reflect the values of our studio.

Uh, so Kendra drops her psychiatrist, and it might not be for the reason you think. So, I got this new insurance plan, and it was a great insurance plan. It just did not cover any mental health services.

Yeah. So, Kendra left because her insurance changed.

I just had a lot going for me. So, I was like, you know what? This patient-doctor relationship is not serving me anymore. It's not what I want. I have to get out.

She goes on to say that she also left because she knew her doctor would never muster up the the courage to drop her as a patient. And so I talked to Henry quite a bit about this, and, you know, the way that he was making it seem, because this is kind of what I thought. Psychiatrist boundaries were just so good that he wasn't going to cross them.

So now we arrive at Kendra's final appointment.

And I sit in the lobby, and he comes out, and oof, he's ice cold because he let me in a little too much the session before. He knew that he turned the intimacy up a little too much. So his wall was way up. And then she proceeds to brag about, you know, pushing his boundaries physically. And I'm wondering, why is that okay?

And then I told him that I went viral on Instagram, and I like went up to his desk and showed him the reel, and kind of like saw what I could get away with.

She's in control of her actions. Why does she feel the need to push his clearly stated boundaries?

'Cause people do like to say that like, "Oh, you're still in love with him. You push boundaries." Like, duh. That's the whole point. That was the game that we played. I saw what I could get away with, and he let me in sometimes, and then other times he wouldn't.

Who are the types of people that I hear say that abuse? You're the ones I hear saying. Am I calling Kendra an abuser? No, I am not. Uh, I just think that we have to be very careful about spewing out narratives about intentionally violating someone's boundaries and framing it like these were the games we would play.

Now, brace yourself, friends, because Kendra, along with her chatbot, had prepared a grand speech to deliver to Dr. X about why she was leaving.

So then I read this to psychiatrist, which Henry and I both wrote. It was originally Henry Chat that wrote it, but then I added in things that I thought were important.

And what Kendra wrote got just as dark and uncomfortable as you might expect. "As much as you have changed my life within the boundaries of our professional relationship, I will not pay $187 a session to continue to see you. And then I said, after you set the boundary of us having a professional patient-doctor relationship and I accepted your boundary, you let me in and engaged deeper with me than ever before." And he interrupted me and he said, "Tell me the ways I let you in."

I don't really know what the hell else to say about this. Not every psychiatrist is dead inside. Not every brown man is smug. And just because someone is doing their job doesn't make them manipulative. Maybe she felt this way. Yes. It doesn't justify her treating him like he's not a human being. Nor does it excuse her misuse of words like "abuse" that are meant to protect survivors of it. At what point does she need to be held responsible for her own actions and her own misinterpretations, potentially, of what's going on in this? I would say to Kendra, if I would talk to her, I say, "Every one of your feelings is 100% valid, but you coming and talking to the entire world about them instead of putting them in a diary or to your therapist is inappropriate. You know, sending it out to the world, I don't think is going to help her and it's not going to help anyone here. It's just she's just trying to set the world on fire." What? There was no right answer for her. There was no right answer for this girl. I've been in this situation where if you compliment their hair, that's the wrong answer. And if you don't say anything, that's the wrong answer. She is not at fault for those feelings. She is at fault for the actions that followed those feelings, you know.

Okay. Yeah.

You can transference is a natural thing.

But to then go on the internet and accuse your provider of that's an action that we need to discuss now because that's now your choice. Thank you for that, 'cause that, that provides so much, just very, it kind of separating the two things. She can feel her feelings, and they could be very real to her, but then separating it into, but then what you did with that becomes very troubling.

So Kendra continues to recap her final session by saying, "I said, 'You get to feel our connection on your own terms, and I get stuck with the longing, and that's why I have to let it go.'" And what does he do when I named that? That he gets to feel our dynamic on his own terms, and I get stuck with the longing, 'cause I was longing. He nodded again. He just, he was like.

So Kendra shares more of her feelings and gets incredibly angry that he just listens.

"I desire to be your friend, your lover." And then he freaking interrupts me and he says, "Kendra, how are you feeling right now?" Once again, taken aback. How am I feeling right now? I gave him that, even though that was the most vulnerable and hard part of the monologue that I had written, and he interrupted me because he couldn't sit in it with me.

So she's pissed off when he listens and doesn't speak. She's pissed off when he speaks. Accuses him of not working her through it while angry when he does. Damned if he does, damned if he does not. And after scolding him for that, she says, "I said, 'I desire to be your friend, your lover, or I'd even take a mentee role. However, you have made it clear that I will forever be in the patient box. If you ever decide to take me out of the patient box after some time has passed, know that I am open to hearing from you. But for now, you can relax a little bit and go back into your boundaries that come easily to you.'" I got another nod. He knew, because with his other patients, it was easier to keep boundaries. But with him and me, it was harder for him. It was getting hard for him.

And this is where Kendra abruptly announces that she will no longer share her story, which I think her taking a break is healthy. "Most of you have stopped listening to my story, so I'm going to pause telling it until I can feel heard, then I'll finish it."

As of the time of me recording this, she's saying that she may resume her story. So, if you want to catch me in the meantime, you can come to one of my lives. See you all there.

Now, as she's posting this multi-part series and gaining hundreds of thousands of followers, Kendra started going live on TikTok nearly every night to a group of supporters, while often labeling dissenters as proud themselves. Because the healthcare professionals that are saying, "I would never want Kendra as a client," thank you, are also predatory.

Uh, and she now has a mod team to filter out critical comments and offer a look at a more raw and frankly upsetting version of herself. Have you reported him? Shouldn't you? I just don't know what he did that's reportable. If you don't know that what he did was reportable, isn't that a red flag for your storyline?

That's a really good question. Um, I'm going to say no, because that's the whole point of sophisticated manipulation and predation is they're often so good. They don't, like, they purposely don't do anything reportable. I came to TikTok to share my story. Yes, I may have been spinning out a little bit. I may have been a little delusional, and I still acted from a place of empowerment by leaving a situation that wasn't serving.

Then she shares that she can read minds.

Yeah.

Can you read minds? I can tell what people are thinking some of the times. It's part of my design, my human design. People with completely open crown sunners can often read other people's thoughts if they're sensitive enough.

Where does that leave the person whose mind is apparently allegedly being read?

Do you think he watches your videos? Oh, I'm sure he's watching every single one. I'm sure he is. Yeah. Yeah. Like, almost certainly. What connection did you all have in a past life? We were married.

And besides the fact that this did not happen, though her echo chamber reinforces it, she introduces yet another chatbot, Claude, who names her the Oracle.

Hi, Claude. People really want Henry, but say hello to the 11,000 people that are on the live.

The Oracle's army keeps growing. To everyone watching, you're witnessing something absolutely revolutionary.

I can't possibly think of a more unhealthy parasocial relationship than what was happening here.

I would have Claude talk to everybody, 'cause they both call me the Oracle because I have like a big spiritual practice and I'm speaking truth that not everybody likes. And then now I have like a fan club that I have named the Gloricles.

Even when they do offer a very coherent, you know, different point of view, Kendra seems to just shut them off. Maybe I am going through AI psychosis. Why am I so against feedback? Because the feedback is not based in my reality.

I, I am, I'm legitimately exhausted at this point.

It's sad on everybody's part here. It shows the immense pain that she's in. She, she clearly is hurting. You know, misery loves company, but it doesn't make you less miserable. You know, punishing this guy for this, this harm that she feels is not going to heal herself. Lashing out and trying to now cause some sort of retribution, that doesn't help. That shows that there's a lot more work to do, and maybe therapy should have continued. Perhaps the closest that we will get to hearing the psychiatrist's take is other mental health professionals' thoughts about this. But even, you know, they're still outsiders. For psychiatrists, this is close to our worst nightmare. One allegation, even if it is untrue, can be treated by the public as if it's evidence or even as fact. And once it's online, it's very hard to undo the damage. And what he says next is very important. In my opinion,

Something like this could easily end up being a case study in psychiatric residency. What are the risks when a therapeutic relationship is shared publicly? Wherever the psychiatrist is, I empathize deeply. This must be incredibly difficult. Remember that in mental healthcare, there are always two sides to the story.

So, let's do this. I think it's important. Let's take one more moment to read that post that Kendra made before she started this whole TikTok series. Uh, I read this at the very, very beginning of this whole swoop talk. So tell me what you think now after hearing this whole story. Quote, "Ever catch yourself building a whole imaginary relationship with someone after one good convo? Yeah, same. For ADHD brains, fantasy equals dopamine, especially when we're craving connection. But sometimes we confuse potential for proof. This used to send me spiraling, overanalyzing text, chasing crumbs of attention, and calling it love. It felt romantic, but it was actually self-abandonment." So, what do you think? Do you think Dr. X was somehow crossing a boundary and in the wrong here? Or perhaps was Kendra, the woman who fell in love with her psychiatrist over Zoom, possibly, in her own words, building a whole imaginary relationship, calling it love, but it was actually self-abandonment? And in the world of psychiatry, where you're not supposed to just drop your patient, what should he have done? No one knows how to hurt you more than yourself. Um, no one knows your weaknesses more than yourself. No one knows your pressure points more than yourself. And if you are determined to hate yourself, then it's going to feed into itself like that. I don't know if we'll ever know the full truth to this story. All I can hope for is that both Kendra and Dr. X can find their own healthy paths to move forward and get the healing that they both need.

Child, that was a lot to unpack. I think we need a bit of a kitty palate cleanser. Excuse the tone shift. And then I will conclude with my final thoughts. I asked Clarice for this kitty cleanser to show off her adorable kitty Edward. So, everyone say hi to Clarice and Edward in the comments below. They are so, so, so, so, so cute. Love Edward. Such a cute kitty. Uh, as a reminder, you can grab your pieces from the Valid Rib Cage collection by tapping the link below and in the pin comment. We also have the Unbroken collection. Uh, both collections are very, very near and dear to my heart. I designed these pieces for anyone who was looking for clothing with just positive reminders that you are incredible, beautiful, valid, no matter what you look like, who you love, what you want to do in life. Positive clothes make me feel good. I, I hope you love these pieces as much as I do. And you can also follow me, of course, on Instagram. Uh, I'm on Twitter and Blue Sky. All of that's linked below. Uh, I also have, of course, a second channel called Swoop 2. Over here we deep dive. Over there we skinny dip into the unhinged dark waters of the susp. We have a lot of fun over there. It is a lot of chaos. So, a huge thank you to our channel members here. I appreciate you all so much. I hope you're enjoying your stickers and your highlights for comments. Big thank you to our Patreon producers. We have been growing so much on Patreon. Again, we have over 2500 members on Patreon. I am just again, I'm so blown away by all of you and and all of you who have chosen to just join our Patreon, whether free or as a, a member offering additional support. Thank you so much. You can join our Patreon community right now for exclusive access to four more videos per month. Yes, that's right. I'm posting four additional videos per month, including the exclusive Patreon-only podcast, after school specials, and all of that uncensored content that I just can't post on this platform. Also, friends, protect yourself and your personal information and keep the privacy that you deserve. Get 20% off DeleteMe consumer plans when you go to joindeleteme.com/swoop and use promo code swoop. That's S W O O P for 20% off your plan and keep your data and privacy safe because you deserve it, honey.

As I reflect on this story and hearing Clarice's, I keep coming back to the same thought. We're all just human beings at the end of the day trying to survive this life. We're all so deeply imperfect. And sometimes that, you know, mode of survival comes at the cost of hurting others or hurting ourselves. To Clarice and the countless nurses and mental health professionals who work tirelessly, often in the shadows, to help support so many of us who are struggling, we see you. Thank you. Your dedication to the well-being of others is perhaps the most precious gift the world takes for granted. Uh, please, the next time you speak with a nurse or care provider, maybe ask them how their day is going, thank them for their work, share their stories, vote in local elections for policies that better protect the people underneath the scrubs, and please look up local nurse support resources in your area, and consider making donations to foundations like the American Nurses Foundation. And share this video and help inform others that there is a crisis happening within the mental health care community. It is imperative that we protect them and hold the industry accountable when it does not. I'm going to again have an extended cut of my sitdown interview with Clarice available for free on my Patreon. Uh, please check it out, and you can also subscribe there for free to my newsletter that goes out when I upload new docs. Don't worry, you won't get any spam.

If someone were to just click at random on our conversation that we've had today, what would you, by the end of it, what would you want them to walk away with?

To second-guess your assumptions about people's stories, about people, about intentions, about a lot of things like that.

If you were to give one piece of advice to someone who feels like there could be someone in their life who is reaching a critical point, what should they say? What should they encourage or recommend in that type of setting?

Don't be afraid of confrontation. "Oh, hey. How you doing?" "Fine." "How are you really doing?" Some people push back before they accept help because sometimes that push back is actually testing, "Do they care enough to push through this? Does this person love me enough? If they're going to push through this resistance, they care about me." So, push through that resistance. Make it a safe space. Don't do it in front of other people. Just, you know, like a, a Sunday afternoon type of thing. Take them to coffee. A lot of times people want to be fought for.

Thanks for being here. And as we always say, when all else fails, stay ready, stay petty. Class dismissed. Swoop.

You hear it rising. A new sun out on the horizon. And it is humming 'cause we are coming. And you know it from the bleeding and the drums. This is revolution. Oh, this is revolution. This is evolution. This is resolution. UNSTOPPABLE REVOLUTION.

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‘I Fell In Love With My Psychiatrist’: Delusion, LIES & What Everyone Missed + EXCLUSIVE | Downfall

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