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Brands don't sell what a product does. They sell who you become when you buy it. So, it's this aspirational marketing. [snorts] Welcome, frugal friends. I'm Jen. >> And I'm Jill. >> And last week, my friends and I all took the four tendencies quiz. Have you heard of this? >> Only from you. >> Okay. [laughter] I had never heard of it, but it's from Gretch and Rubin. And uh it got me thinking about how we love a personality test, especially as women. I don't want to like genderize things, but like I feel like every girl I know loves a personality test. Whether it's four tendencies, MyersBriggs, Inagram, we love them. And I think it's because we want somebody else to to tell us who we are. like we know who we are, but we want to have that justified to have it legitimized in some way. >> Yeah. Confirmed for us. >> So, that got me thinking about how that ties into our spending habits and how it often causes us to overspend and how there's also this systemic way marketing tries to tie us to identities. Um, and so that's what we're talking about in today's episode.
>> Yeah. And I think marketers have realized that identity is one of our core needs. It's it's kind of one of those things that towards the top of our our hierarchy of needs. And that's why we've seen over the past several decades marketing moving in this direction from identity marketing, influencing marketing, it's all evolving to have you buy products and services to get you closer to your kind of sense of identity. And so that's what we're going to be talking about today is identity and how it's used in marketing and what you can do to kind of build a greater sense of self so that some of these tactics aren't as uh >> effective >> effective on you. >> And you're going to hear from a licensed clinical social worker on identity. So stay for the whole thing. But first, I have a box of Frugal Friends mugs in my office. And they look like this. And this is actually has Jill's coffee in it. So, I must be careful. Uh, I want to get rid of them. I want to get rid of the big box that they're in. And so, I'm going to give them to you. This is special for only our YouTube viewers and our podcast audio listeners. All you have to do is go to frugalfriendspodcast.com/mug m u g and enter to win one of these mugs. I'm giving away 15 of them. US subscribers only. So sorry it costs double the amount to ship these internationally. Um, and so if you want one that say it says frugal AF and AF can mean whatever you want it to be. >> Whatever you want it to be. And uh I'm giving away five in um March. The first drawing is March 13th, five in May or five in April and five in May. And if you enter today and you don't win in March, you're still in the running for April and May. So the sooner you get in, the more chances you have to win mug. So >> here you go. >> That's back for you. Have have that. >> Get yours. Don't buy. >> You will have to put in your YouTube username. You will have to subscribe to the YouTube channel. Even if you're an audio listener, put in your YouTube username so that we know you subscribe to the YouTube channel on that entry page. So, good luck. First, let's talk about identity. Well, second, let's talk about identity.
>> Jill, give us your professional definition of identity. I I mean I really do think that it is our sense of self, how we view who we are, the way that we engage with the world, the perspectives that we take on. And there is so much to be said about identity, how it is shaped and formed. I mean starting from infancy and and moving forward from understanding kind of cognitive development and children, babies, infants begin to identify themselves as separate from their caregiver around 6 to 9 months old. And then it just keeps building upon that as as we all grow and get older from, you know, I okay, I'm separate. Oh, I can do some things on my own. Oh, I I'm good at certain things, right? There's like certain childhood developmental markers and cognitive development that happens along each step. And all of it is a part of identity building. And so to name a few, there is, you know, culture and environment and family makeup and gender and religion. All of these things kind of come together to form our sense of who we are, how we identify. And and some of it, I think, can be we can have a skewed identity in some ways. We can think certain things about ourselves that aren't true or think, you know, the opposite. Things that are true that aren't there. Like there's there's so many layers that >> we're not going to dig into all of them, but essentially it is what separates us. There's so many ways that we are similar to our fellow fellow human beings. But identity is kind of the things that we can notice inside of ourselves the unique traits and personality and skill set that also makes us uniquely who we are. And so there's there's this kind of fun little eb and flow of I do like to be different. I want to be set apart, but I also want to belong. and I find comfort in finding other people who share certain interests with me. Um, and I think yeah, when when we don't have a solid sense of that, when we don't have a a good at least 90% accurate view of self, sense of self, then we can kind of flounder and that's going to show up in our wallets.
>> Yeah, I can see. So, when you mentioned the hierarchy of needs and um we'll put it back up here. uh you can see that relationships are more on that foundational level than the very top which is self-actualization where I think that is this like sense of being an individual sense of autonomy and uniqueness and creativity and both are needs but I think we can we get our identity is so convoluted by other people because our need for belonging is more foundational >> than our need for uniqueness. And so it's it's so intertwined because we our identity is influenced by other people like you said like culture and family and religion and all of that, but they are also like separate. And so my friends and I when we were talking about like the four tendencies, we were also talking about like sometimes we find our identity in roles and we like know that that's not it's not completely accurate but it is hard because our identity also like influences the roles that we choose. So like like wife, mom, our [clears throat] profession, like these things that make us unique do influence the roles we take on. And so that can also we can mistake those for our identity. So I think it is this gray it's such a gray area, right? I don't know if you can ever have your identity like fully nailed down >> because it changes over time and shift. >> Yeah. Like not, >> you know, wildly, but I think it can shift. Um and and and it's this gray area that marketers will use >> to kind of slip in to that uncertainty. And the more we focus on other people, the easier it is to slip in. So whether that's focusing on our partner or our kids or our friends or our work or whatever, the more we are focusing on other people, the more ambiguity like we have in knowing who we are.
>> And so people who want to profit off of us slip in there. And I think that's where we get identity marketing from. So people using products as kind of like identity shortcuts. So and we've if you've studied marketing, you've you've probably heard all of this before. So brands don't sell what a product does, they sell who you become when you buy it. So it's this aspirational marketing. And please let us know in the comments if you can if you hear that and you can think of an example of that because I the Olympics are happening right now as we're recording this and every I love the Olympics. I'm I'm obsessed with the Olympics. >> Every commercial is aspirational marketing for like you're not at the Olympics but like you could be on you know on the same level by buying this product and it's >> like Salesforce or something. It's or like Infinity Comcast, right? Like it's so bizarre. >> Yeah. Visa credit cards. That one's standing out to me. Like everywhere you want to be. Not like the Olympics. >> Not everywhere you're already going. Like that really stood out to me. And like not not wherever you want to go, everywhere you want to be. It's that aspirational like I want to get there and this credit card's going to help me get there. And if you don't have like a really solid confident sense of self >> then you don't know where you want to be. >> Yeah. >> 100%. Like there's always like you kind of know where you want to be but there's always some wavering like oh could I could I be belittling myself or could I be like aspiring too much? Like >> there's always this questioning. Mhm.
>> So now in the present day I So I we've seen it with commercials like that I think for a while now I think we see it in influencers and I think it's even worse because commercials can really show like the perfectness and we're like oh I can never be perfect. I know. So I'm like it's not as effective for me. Influencers aren't imperfect and therefore there's more hope that we can be like this person that we can take on their identity if we are unsatisfied with our own in like a noncreepy like >> non-crime way. >> Yeah. And I think you know the parasocial relationship that's developed really helps to break down those barriers and increase the trust. If I've seen this person show up in my algorithm constantly, I'm following them and they're talking about this and it makes it look like their life is easier or they have some belonging or something that I want to have. And it the thing about it is it's not so upfront. It's a little bit more of the subconscious psychology that's going on. Like I'm not looking at some of these influencers going, "Oh, she looks like she has belonging. I want that product, too." It's like it's the full picture that's happening. This picture that's being painted, the subtle things that they're doing in the background, the way that their environment looks, what they're talking about, they just did with their friends. It's those types of things.
>> Yeah. I think that kind of segus into like the next point is that belonging is more important than like in our brains it overrides logic >> sometimes a lot of the times maybe depending on like what season you're in. I know that >> there I'm like in a season where I'm so busy I rarely go out. So if somebody like asks me to coffee I don't check the budget. I just say yes because I'm like kind of desperate for human interaction. So like that happens in varying degrees for all people because we are wired for >> belonging, status, safety. Again with that hierarchy of needs, we we want to belong. So if everyone around us is wearing something, carrying something, using something, we if if we're kind of like longing for community, >> we will buy things so that we we look like people around us to make us more relatable >> so that we have a better chance of being asked to coffee. Yeah. >> Or somebody taking our phone number or something like that. Um, and the algorithms can really push verality as well. Like people are commenting on something, there's a lot of views, so it's going to keep getting pushed out. And that can create some homogeny in product use where we are seeing these things and thinking, oh, everyone has this. And again, it's not so upfront in in our thinking. It's one of those subtle things of just that like confirmation bias and and feeling as though oh everyone has these things and brands can't create verality but they can certainly capitalize off of it. I mean we've seen this with Stanley cups and leoos and leggings and certain types of vehicles and it just seems like everybody's got this thing and so I'm going to have it too. like I I there and there might be a thought of even it must be so good if everyone's using this. Not only do I want to belong, but I don't want to miss out on this great thing that everybody is saying is solving their problems. I want to find out for myself. I don't want to be on the outskirts of that. Yeah. I think a really good example of this is a YouTube video I watched recently and and I'll link it in the description, but it's Utah is a social experiment at this point and it's from Alyssa Grenfell and she's talking about how Utah culture, specifically Mormon culture, is this like bubble almost of trends. So like dirty sodas and like long sleeve wedding dresses. >> What's a dirty soda? a dirty. See, we're in Florida, so we have no idea. It's where you just put like syrup in a soda, like a like a a cherry or and and I may actually be wrong. >> You may add you add more >> I think you add more sugar to a soda. So, let me let me know if I'm mistaken on [laughter] that, but that's what I believe it is. Um >> No, yeah, you're right. syrup, splash of cream. >> They have like the whole like uh like almost bars just for dirty soda. And that is a big thing in Utah, but not really anywhere else. But everybody is doing it in that location. So, it can make you feel if you live there that this is just like a big thing because once you see it in, you know, in a Target or once you see a brick and mortar, you're like, "Oh, this is cultural. This is not just like me or my friend group. This is bigger than us. >> And I mean, we've all had those moments. I mean, it just happened to me just now, although I don't feel that bad about not knowing. But when you're with people that like you really care about their opinion of you, [laughter] >> I respect you more for not knowing that. >> We're between the lines. Yeah. When you're with other people, they're like, "Oh, yeah. You know that movie or you know that thing or you know this quote." And and it's like, "No, I don't." it it can be really uncomfortable to be like, "Wait, what are you talking about? Who is that person? What is that reference? What is that thing?" And and so you don't want to be the one behind the curve. Like, you want to know and be up on the thing and be able to talk about it because that's what makes for relationships. >> Yeah. I That's me. Anytime Travis mentions a movie and you know this movie, you know, no, I don't. I'm not like a movie person. I'm a TV show person. you and Eric talking about the development plans in downtown St. Pete this morning. You're like, "Oh, don't you know about this whole thing that's going on?" >> I didn't know. He showed me a picture and it had a essentially a man-made wave pool in the middle of what is supposed to be affordable housing. [laughter] We're like, "No, you just missed the surfer in the picture." >> That's true. Um [laughter] but but so yeah so like this you think that everybody is doing this stuff buying this stuff but it could be very like on an actual global level like just very very small. And so there is a lot to be said for where you live and the people around you if you don't feel like you fit in. Like that is that's a legitimate like concern and can cause you to like either buy stuff or just like constantly feel uncomfortable. So instead of buying stuff to be accepted, you're buying stuff to, you know, like meet this >> I don't know like push down this unsettling feeling. So both can lead to overconumption for ne like from negative reasons.
>> Yeah. Okay. The final example that we have about how marketers can kind of prey on identity is identity during uncertainty. So even if you do have a strong sense of self, sometimes marketing can slip in and get you to buy where you wouldn't normally have during times of stress, exhaustion, trauma, life changes. Okay, friends, a as an outsider looking in again, I'm not a mom. They pray on parents like no no more have I seen like this exact thing. Identity during uncertainty and just give us all of your money is coming into parenthood for the first time because you are uncertain. You don't know about it. It's a huge responsibility. You want to do the best possible thing for your child. spend this money and and even bringing in I mean who knows probably pseudo research about how this is going to be the best thing for your baby and you have to have this you have to have that and you've got to have the best monitor that checks their heart rate and doesn't suffocate them and like all these things that make you so it almost plants fear where there might have not even been fear to get you to buy and that's where it can turn very predatory. >> Absolutely. Well, if you saw our episode on the man who's responsible for why you're broke, when Edward Bernay's hired all these doctors to tell people that breakfast, you know, a bigger breakfast is more beneficial >> just for the bacon company to sell more bacon. You've got the same idea here. We're hiring safety experts and doctors, pediatricians, uh, to tell parents like this is the best thing you can do for your child. And look, this product happens to meet that need as close as possible. So, who are you if you don't buy what's your identity as a mom? Like, what's your identity in your role that you have chosen if you don't choose to buy this product that is the best or the safest or whatever? I just saw a story and I haven't had time to fact check it so I'm so so sorry you can do a retraction on me if this wasn't accurate but the story was describing how Pampers did like a dedicated marketing blitz to extend the time frame of potty training that apparently children used to be potty trained by like 18 months and now it's more typical to be about 3 years and that a lot of that had to do with Pampers efforts and bringing in kind of experts to be claiming, you know, don't rush your child, don't don't do this before they're ready and all these different things. I mean, there could also be other reasons of just convenience. It used to be cloth diapers and now they're disposable diapers, so it's far easier. Um, but I found that very interesting and and very well could be the case. I wouldn't be surprised. Um, but sorry if it's not true. [laughter] >> I just found it interesting. >> Did you hear it from Jillian Michaels? Cuz I'm seeing a video from her on a podcast. >> No, it wasn't that. No, they were referencing. >> She talked about it, too. So, I guess it's >> it is well known. >> So, yeah. But I mean, same thing with the light bulb. All the light bulb makers got together and be like, "Oh, we're going to make light bulbs that die so that we can all sell more light bulbs. A rising tide lifts all boats." It's like it happens. Planned obsolescence or I guess delayed obsolescence in Pampers's case like >> it just it it happens and yeah I would agree like definitely in the parenting space it's it's so crucial. I think in general people on social media um will try to make you feel fear and anxiety and a sense of urgency and offer a solution to manipul manipulate you into buying something whether it's a product they're making or a product they're an affiliate for.
>> Um >> because negative emotions decrease our capacity for rational thinking. It's a really strong and it's I mean it's typically frowned upon in market. It's not ethically right but it's not illegal. So you see it I think a lot on social media because influencers are not held to the same ethical standards as like more I don't know established marketers. So they will decrease using fear and anxiety and urgency to decrease your brain's ability to make rational decisions. >> Yeah. I mean we see it all the time even in just copy we get from brands for their ad reads. A lot of times they'll even list out negative hooks for us to use and they're literally called that a negative hook. It's what we love of you're doing this wrong. The five reasons that you're broke. The I mean, who knows? I'm not like a marketing expert, but it's it's something to elicit you don't have it right. We have the answer. Pay attention and praying upon the fears that that are probably already there below the surface and then just confirming them in whatever marketing and then trying to sell you something. To be fair, I really try to avoid those negative hooks. Like, we don't utilize them. >> No. >> And they don't need to rock your entire worldview of who you are, right? They don't need to make you question everything. They just need to make you question for a second long enough >> to buy. That's it. They're not trying to to make you question your entire worldview. So remember that that it is in that second where we do need to pause and step back and wait and see if this is something we really want to buy, really need to buy. Um, if it is something we're trying to align with an identity that we want to achieve or if it truly aligns with the sense of self that we have established and are confident in. So how how do we find that sense of self? How do we find that established confident sense of identity?
>> Yeah. And I really think that this is a lifelong journey. I don't think any one of us can say, "Oh, I've arrived at identifying who I am because I also think there is this growing. We can understand who we are. We might even have a good sense of who we are, but then be able to identify some areas of growth and things that we want to work on. And so it's ever evolving and changing. But I do think it's important to know some of the core things about who we are, what matters to us, how we meet our needs, and give that a significant amount of thought and reassessment year overyear of how am I meeting my needs? Is it effective? How am I showing up? How are other people experiencing me? How am I experiencing myself? How am I experiencing the world around me? I think these can be really helpful questions to be asking. And one of the ways as it relates to finances that we think can be really powerful is doing that 90-day transaction inventory that you've heard us talk about. We give an even deeper dive on how to do one in our book, buy what you love without going broke. You can get your copy at buy what you lovebook.com. But it's essentially going back through all of the transactions that we've made in the last 90 days on our credit cards, on our debit cards, even the cash that we've spent cuz that still counts. And and see what is this showing me about who I am before I even look to make any changes. What am I noticing I am drawn to? Where am I spending money? Does that feel like it's aligned with the things that I would say matter to me? If yes, fantastic. Keep doing that. If no, how can I shift some of these things? Or what need is it meeting that I might be able to meet in an even more creative, more beneficial way that yeah, I might be experiencing belonging by getting together at a restaurant with friends, but are there other ways for me to experience belonging and even get to engage in other aspects of who I am? Can we go play a a an outdoor game together? Would that be more fun and more bonding and less money? That can kind of help us to identify the things that we can shift while also noticing more about who we are. Like that would probably be the best personality quiz to take is where do I spend my money? That's going to be the most revealing.
>> It it I truly believe that it is more revealing than any personality test. I I truly believe that. So, let us know. Do your 90-day transaction inventory and let us know what it shows you about your personality. Um, and I think there's one thing I want you guys to take away from this episode, and it's something that I have to remind myself very often when I am about to potentially make an impulse buy. And it's that I I buy things because I want to improve myself or my life in some way. Like being grounded in who I am. There can always be improvement. And that is the goal when I buy something. But I have to continually remind myself that I cannot buy the person I want to be. That I cannot do. And so if the inspiration for me to buy something is to the person I want to be uses that that's not right. But if it's something I'm already doing and I can improve upon it or make my life easier in some way because of a problem I legitimately already have, then that is a better use of my money. Still can question if I could if I need to spend it because maybe I can get creative in a different way. But I cannot buy I cannot look at like a four-hour man marathoner on social media and what she's hawking on her reels and buy that stuff to become her. Yeah. As we kind of break up with the ads, the influencers, the the amount of time that we spend on social media. Not only is it going to reduce some of our spending, but it's going to start bringing to the surface and illuminating more about who we are, how we want to be spending our time, and then that's where our creativity can enter in. How do I want to meet some of those needs in these lowcost ways, still getting what I want, still having fun? I think it's that beautiful symbiotic relationship and I think just helps us to feel better about ourselves. Like I have never felt so insecure and down about myself as when I am spending more time on social media. >> Preach same. >> And and it's it's hard sometimes to connect those dots because it's so subtle. It's not as if I expect to look like everybody on here. But when you're constantly inundated with people who are really concerned about image or you know getting the exact right nutrition or doing the exercises exactly right or decorating the home in the most beautiful way. It's just this constant flooding of you're not doing enough and either you need to do more or you need to buy stuff to do better or you need to keep watching these things and keep taking this in, keep marinating it to get better and it doesn't actually improve anything. It just makes me personally feel worse about myself. And so when I break up with those things and if I'm going to stay on social media, follow more encouraging accounts, like it changes my outlook and view. It's crazy. >> Yeah, it it is insane. >> You know what also is insane and crazy, but for all the right reasons, don't break up with this one. >> Would never. >> The bill of the week. [music] >> The bill of the week. This is the week. This is [music] the week. >> That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. [music] Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck bills, [music] Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week.
>> Hi Jen. Hi Jill. This is Jennifer from New York. I just have to say that I have paid off in the last 2 and 1/2 years $65,000 worth of credit card debt and a small car loan. I am so free. I have also managed to start saving in my Roth IRA and start a healthy uh savings and a high yield savings account toward 3 to 6 months. And I will never go back to my old ways. Most of it was from rescuing people and mindless spending and a lot of subscriptions and not looking at what I was spending plus the 30% interest on the credit cards. So, I am a different person. I wish I discovered you at the beginning. I have made some mistakes and it's taken a while, but I am debtree as of today and I am thrilled. Thank you so much for everything that you do. >> Jennifer >> from a fellow Jennifer. Congratulations. Uh, bless you. >> Dead freedom brought to you by the Jennifers. >> Bye, Jen. >> Yes, [laughter] this is amazing. And first of all, I'm so honored. We are so honored that you would choose to share this incredible news with us on our little podcast. >> I do love my favorite bills of the week are the ones that are I'm debtree cuz and it's not screaming at you. It's just I want to say >> I scream back for sure. >> I want to scream for you, but I don't need you to scream if that's not the kind of person you are. [laughter] >> So I love those. Oh, this is so incredible and so true about all of us. We don't do it perfectly. We make mistakes and a lot of times it's because we just don't know. >> Well, we don't know. >> We have an episode about subscriptions coming up, I think, next week. >> You don't you take it from Jennifer. >> You're going to want to check it out. >> If we weren't taught it, how would we know to seek it out? But Howard, we know that this that there is another way that other people aren't doing finances like this. There's so many reasons. I mean, yes, good that you took responsibility and did the thing, but also no shame, no shade in it. You paid off your credit card. You paid off your car loan and then started investing in a Roth IRA. And then started saving an emergency fund 6 to9 months in a high yield savings account. We love the one at CIT. It is the one that we use. frugalfriendsodcast.com/cit. If you're listening to this and you're like, I don't have a high yield savings account. What do I do with my money? That's what you do with it. Because the money that you put in there earns money higher percentages than you would at a typical in a typical situation. >> If you're like, I I want to be like Jennifer. I I'm not happy with with who I am right now, and I want to be more like Jennifer. I She sounds great. [laughter] Then >> Oh, it's so true. I want to belong. Everyone has a high heeled savings account. What? But that's that's the good version. That's us spinning that for good. You want belonging for good. >> Belong in a high yield savings account. >> You belong in a high yield savings account and a Roth IRA. You belong there. >> You sure do, sweetheart. Okay, if you all are listening have a bill that you want to submit. If it has to do with debt freedom, if it has to do with that high yield savings account, if it has to do with investing in that Roth IRA, if it has to do with being Bill, we're not going to break up with you. frugalfriendsodcast.com/bill. We can't wait to hear it. And now it's time for the round.
>> All right. What's your favorite personality quiz and your result? Uh, I am a MyersBriggs girl. >> Yeah, >> I do love >> Is it your guiding light? Is it how you understand everything? >> No. [laughter] Here's the thing. So, when I was talking about we were doing the four tendencies, my result was rebel. And yeah, you roll your eyes. >> No, I'm like I'm like, "Yeah, of course." >> Yeah, that Well, that's that's what all my friends said, too. Um, but I was like, initially, I was like, I don't think I'm a rebel. >> And then I hear my friend uh Haley's voice in my head being like, that's what someone with rebel tendencies would say because she's like a counselor. Um, and then I told her that and she really did say that before I could even say the part where she said it in my head. So, knowing that about me, I am a MyersBriggs. I'm an INFJ and it's the rarest >> personality. Don't we love to be rare? >> And we love to be different. >> Diamonds in the rough. >> We love to be different from everyone. >> Yes. [laughter] >> And but >> you're never going to find another. I mean, we're out there. I find them all the time. I think we just attract each other. [snorts] >> Uh, so >> so tell me more about this. What do you know about yourself because of being an INFJ? >> Very little. I'm going to be honest. Um, but I'm introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging. And it is the rarest personality type, making up 1.5 to 2% of the population. Oh, >> known for deep insights, high empathy, and strong idealism. >> Wow. >> Principled, creative, and often strive to make a positive impact on the world. >> Wow. >> Which I feel like this is my impact. Frugal Friends is my impact. >> Yeah. >> And I love that my the way I make money is aligned with that. >> That is beautiful. >> A deep connection. valuing deep connections over superficial relationships, which is also probably why I disdain parasocial relationships. I have this is so many examples about why you are exactly what you're describing, [laughter] but it would not like it would it would potentially cancel you, get you in trouble, [laughter] >> all those good things. And you're like, oh man, all the all the examples would make you look bad. It's what I love about you. Like you are so certain about who you are and what you are entitled to [laughter] that it it's it's wild and beautiful to watch. >> And I wish that I could share these examples [laughter] because I find them so endearing and hilarious. But like unless >> you might get fined. Someone might find you. >> Unless you have a deep connection with me, you may not understand it. [laughter] All right, Joe.
>> Um, okay. I've taken all of these different exams and you know, being a licensed clinical social worker, people always think that I'm going to be super into especially the neog and I'm just not. I don't have anything against it. >> When people in the past came to see me in my, you know, private practice, it would be great if they knew their anagram or their MyersBriggs or their disc or whatever. if it resonated with them, if it helped them understand who they were, we'd talk about it. I just don't I'm not one of those like I've taken them at some point I knew my letter combination and my this and my that, but I I don't remember it anymore. >> They think saying like, oh, I'm an eight. You're going to be like, okay, I know you, >> right? Yeah. >> It's a shortcut to knowing someone, >> right? Yeah. And and I think that's an awesome thing. I think being able to put language and can help bring understanding and a pathway forward. So, I think it's awesome. I just have never personally connected with them except for my sign and I'm not super into astrological sign. >> My astrological sign. I haven't ever resonated with anything more. No disc, no MyersBriggs, no anagram, no no internet. What Disney princess are you? Nothing more than I identify with being 100% a Leo. >> And I'm not saying that that's a good thing, right? Like Leos are the worst. You look up the things about a Leo and it is not good things, but it is 100% accurate. the most accurate thing. >> Oh, well, so AI has great things to say. Leos are known for their charismatic, confident, and dramatic nature, [laughter] often acting as natural leaders who enjoy being in the spotlight. They are passionate and generous, >> but [laughter] cut and generous. [laughter] The end. Period. [gasps] No, it's all right. Go ahead. >> Dig in. I can be arrogant or stubborn. [laughter] >> I don't think you're arrogant. I think sometimes you can be stubborn. >> Oh, yeah. >> But you are all those positive things. >> Oh, thank you. >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. Um I I was like born right on the cusp. Like there's a cut off. I'm like the final day of being a Leo. And I don't know if astrology would support this, but I do think that it made me the most Leo that you can be >> the most. >> That's just my [laughter] >> Wait, you're August 21st, right? >> Mhm. >> Okay. My sister-in-law is August 22nd, so she's also >> uh she's also a Leo. >> Oh, is that okay? So, it's up to the 20th is the other sign. So, I don't even know that much about astrology. Like I don't even know what you are if you were born August 20th or before [laughter] or anything else about most other signs. I just know I'm a Leo and that's right. You are you are it. You are passion. You are energy. You are determined and persistent. And you know what? And that makes for a great combo for friends. I I think so. Thank you so much for listening. Let us know your personality. Short shortcut to us being friends. and maybe we could be friends in real life. Uh I much prefer that to parasocial relationships, but I will I'll take what I can get with you if you're subscribed to the YouTube channel. Uh and if you've read our book, Buy What You Love Without Going Broke, and reviewed it, also I'll take what I can get with you. Like Angela, who has given the book a fivestar review on Amazon and says, "I love the emphasis on values. Not everybody is going to have identical budgets, and that's okay. I also appreciated the reality that if it isn't simple, you won't stick to it. Very well put together. And bonus points for being author narrated. That's right. Our audio book is narrated by both of us. And you can tell which parts we wrote by who reads which part. Oh, beautiful. I love this. What a great review. Thanks so much for that. If you have read the book and you want to leave us a review, please do so. It really helps us on Amazon, like Jen said, please subscribe. That helps us. And then, um, let us know if you want one of those mugs forgirlfriend.com/mug for subscribing. >> Yeah. In three days, all three ways to belong. >> See See you next time, bestie. I love you so much. Bye.