Transcription
Good morning, [Music] All right, you guys, it's episode 27 of Inner Demons. I'm gonna get straight into it, but before I do, I want to make a couple quick announcements, real quick.
So, first and foremost, man, I hope you guys have been enjoying all the content that we've been putting out, man. Me and Sam, man, we've been busting ass trying to get out as much content, and some of his best content, as we can for you guys, man. It's a lot of work, trust me on that, man. When I tell you guys that the work that we put into the content, when I tell you guys it's time-consuming, I cannot, I can't emphasize that enough, man. Sleep deprivation is a part of my world. I don't remember what it feels like to get a good solid eight hours of sleep in, man. I'm, I swear I don't. Um, a lot of times I'm working on content until two in the morning, and I'll fall asleep with my keyboard in my lap, and I'll wake up at four, and I, I drink me some coffee, and um, I'm right back on track, you know what I mean? So there's a lot of work, man. You know, a lot of these guys, man, and a shout out to all the content creators, but a lot of them, they're able to just turn on the computer, fire up the camera, and then just, just bump jibs, just bump jibs, throw a thumbnail on that [__], done, you know what I mean? But that's not what we do, man. That's not what we do. We put a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of research, and a lot of um, just a lot of work into trying to create some of the best content, man. I'm always trying to figure out ways to make it better. I don't know how many times a day I hit Sandman, hey bro, we need to do this, and we got to do that, we got to step our game up over here, we got to do this, you know what I mean? I'm constantly doing it. You know, you guys got to understand this too: the profiles that I write and the Q&A's and all that stuff, or the uh, profiles, Q&A's, um, what up, what else do I do? I write, well anyway, all this stuff that, all this stuff that I narrate, obviously besides the books, um, I write that, that verbiage is all me right there. I don't copy that [__] out the [__] newspaper, out of [__] uh, a copy of Newsweek magazine. I write all that, you know, the stuff on Salinas Valley or High Desert or on um, you know, the some of the NF um, content that I put out, that stuff comes from me, man. I said, and that's why it takes me so long. Sam, man, said it the other day, man, there's times where you'll be working on a on a profile for like three, four days, man, in, you know, that ain't no [__] straight up. But you know, along with all the time and the effort is, we put a lot of pride into it, man. That's why, that's why, and I, and I believe that it shows. I hope it does, man, because um, there ain't no half-step in here, man. We're really trying to get it.
So anyway, man, that's all I wanted to say. Oh, the other thing is this, man. So, with that being said, I know that I've neglected Inner Demons a lot, man. I, I, this is like the third or fourth time that I've done it, and I got no excuse other than to say, just, just bear in mind that it's because I'm working on other content. And when I'm not working on profiles or Q&A's, I'm hitting you guys with, with um, more stories. When I'm not doing that, I'm cutting videos. When I'm not doing that, I'm writing the, the content, the stuff that I, that I read, man. So it's a lot of work, you know I mean? But we're built for it, we like to do it, we're going to keep doing it, we're going to keep it, we're gonna keep it moving. I'm just asking you guys to just, just uh, bear with us, man. I'll give Inner Demons some love, and I'll try to bring it back up to where I want to be. Right now on Inner Demons, as far as, you know, how far along in the process, but um, that's all I really wanted to say, man. You know, just, just there ain't no, we're not over here sitting on our hands. We're not, um, there's no idle time over here, man. We're constantly working. My world right now evolves around [__] YouTube and creating content. Shout out to all the content creators, especially those of you that are really putting in work, hours, effort, um, that are really just trying to put out good [__] man, your name's on it, so you know what you put out, that's a reflection of you.
Anyway, let me get straight to it without further ado, man. I think I'm just rambling now. So, episode 26, first time in Pelican Bay, straight learning experience, man. I ended up running into two dos, and these were some savvy, crafty individuals. And you know, in retrospect, I'm not surprised, man. In the late 80s, early 90s, you had a lot of those type of dudes, those kind of deals. They were bona fide drop-offs. And what I mean by that is, so, right, 96, between 96 and the Millennium, um, 2000 on up, you've, you've seen a a steady influx of deals, like, just, man, a whole [__] generation of these guys, man, they just a booming population, um, whereas back in, back in those days, in the early days, you might have one, two, or three deals in a whole block. Now you had whole blocks and overflows of dropouts, because there's so many of them. But these are, these are a different kind of dropout. They're a different animal. Then, they, they weren't like the deals of the the 70s and 80s. Those were bona fide deals. These were guys that we used to treat with the level of respect because we knew that they were still, hey, they're gamed up, they know their weaponry, and these dudes will hit you if they get a chance. The deals that came later, a lot of them were looked at is like they were just youngsters, um, just wild ass kids, man, that got involved in something that was above their heads, man. But nobody really took them serious. Nobody, nobody gave them that respect. Nobody looked at them as a threat. Um, I seen, I've seen it all play out, so you know I know what I'm talking about, man. No, but you know, the deals that I'm talking about, like the ones that I ran into up in the bay, these dudes had B numbers and C numbers, you know what I mean? They weren't these uh, double, double numbers that these guys got, a, b, uh, 622. These guys had them old numbers, man. So they were bona fide drop-offs.
Um, and you know, the other thing is this: Pelican Bay is a huge facility. There, there was a lot of those dudes, like Pancho and Acelli, um, Jaime, lurking in the shoe program, you would, but you would never know that they were there unless somebody told you, unless you heard them, or unless they reached out, you know what I mean? Though, other than that, you would never know that they were there. They could be in the Pod next door to you for three, four years, and if they just, they never communicated, they just stuck to themselves, you would never know that they were there. So you know, when, when I, when I look back and I reflect back on some of the things that happened during that short period of time when I ran into these individuals, there's a lot of things that I should have and could have did different, and I know that now, but it's because of what I know now. Um, but you know, I didn't, I was young, man, and just, just going to Pelican Bay, just that alone was a big thing for me. I, I heard all the stories, all the hype, all this [__]. I'm sure a lot of you heard about the bay, you know, back in those days, man. You used to hear, man, your food came to you on a flying saucer, man. The [__] shower rolled right to your door. Your, your uh, your mail was read on a screen. I mean, it was all a bunch of [__], you know what I mean? But there were so many different stories floating around about Pelican Bay, and it was like this, this, this massive facility that had crazy security, and all the shot-callers and leadership were up there. So you know, you're in your early 20s, and you're getting ready to go up there for the first time. I'm not gonna say you, you're scared, and um, you know, you're terrified to get up there, but it was a shock. It was, it was a, um, it was a wake-up call to get up there and walk, to go into that environment for the first time. That alone, right there, man, Pelican Bay is one of those prisons, um, where you can feel it in the air, like I've said in, in High Desert, in Salinas Valley, and those profiles, you feel something in the air that's just, that's not right. And it's because of the type of individuals that are there, for one, um, and death is always around the corner, man. It's always right there around the corner, waiting to happen.
So, after that incident we end up playing out, I believe that um, there was another homeboy that was over there, and I believe he found out I was there because he went to the law library, and by then, you know, corny, and then found out I was over there, and he probably took, hey, holler at the homeboy, he's over there, and see, party been there by himself and nobody's reached out. So this individual reached out, his name was Glenn Marquez, um, night out from Sacramento. So, so check it out, man. I'm not even there for five days, and [__] gets cracking, or like that, one, one cat [__] man, [__]. I, I don't, I don't talk, I get, I get straight bracket. Um, but anyway, on the real, so I've said this before, and I'm gonna say it again, man, just for the, for the purpose of this, um, of this episode right here: at that time up in Pelican Bay, there was no door policy. There wasn't an agreement. We were told that if the doors opened up, that we were torpedoed out and engaged with the opposition, period. Why? It's Sureños, any, any of their sympathizers, anybody that rolled with them, they were to get rushed, no questions asked, man. It didn't matter if they weren't posing the threat. It didn't matter if they came out on the tier, or if the door opened and you had a chance to go up in the cell, you were supposed to come out and do what you do, the do. So, like I said, it wasn't even five days that I was there in the cell with night out, and the door popped when we were out on the tier getting our, our supplies. And I'm gonna say this, man, I used to gang bang, and I used to have a a slighted way of looking at Southsiders, you know. I grew up, and when I was taught not to like them, so that was something that was ingrained with me. But 22 years old, up in Pelican Bay, I had done a little bit of time, had been around Sureños, I had interacted with them in Susanville, so I didn't, it wasn't like I wanted the doors to pop and I wanted to engage with these dudes. I didn't have a problem with them. If the door popped, it was, I, I do what I had to do, but I just didn't sit there by my door hoping that the door would pop so I could fight with these dudes. I didn't have no, no issues with them. If I did, it'd be different, and it would be personal. But my point is this, man. So, when I slid over to the Pod with the homies, it was, it was a whole different environment. Um, the, the vibe that was, you know, that was uh, the whole, the vibe that was in that pod was, was it, it was like they were on some white [__] man. The Mad Dog in the walking by the cells without, you know, uh, with the cold shoulder, no, no uh, no communication, no acknowledgment, going out on the, on the yard, striking up uh, their hoods on the door and [__] man, don't nobody want to see that [__], you know I mean? You guys know where I'm from, you don't want to see some from me showing XIV written on this, scratched on the door real big. But that's the type of [__] they were doing. They were youngsters, man. And you know, I chopped it up too, these guys are uneducated, they don't got nobody, they don't got a leader over here, somebody that'll give them some guidance and that'll give them some games. So you know, they're gonna, they're gonna act up, and that's what they were doing, man. So I didn't mind that the door opened, I really didn't. It was, I was only there for five days, but within that five days, there were a couple of them that I had my eyes on that I was like, I hope the doors do pop out, you know, they do pop on us, so we can go out there and [__] get on these dudes, man. And sure a [__] know the door pops open, so we're out on the tier, we're out. And I'm gonna tell you guys like this: I honestly believe that it was done on purpose, and I'm going to tell you why in a second. So, back in those days, I'm sure it's changed throughout the years, and you know, nothing is in concrete as far as how they do, how they ran the program, but at least in those days, when the, the COs that used to work in that unit, whenever you had a package or whenever you got canteen or, or you got supplies, they would pull you out to the front door, to the, to the grill gate, the gate that uh, the Pod gate, and you do it right there instead of the COs coming in and standing at your door and popping your Trace line. So you walk out and you, you know, you bring your little plastic uh, your cup or your bags to get your, your comment and your soap and all that [__]. And anyway, so on this, this day, man, uh, we walk out, we're getting our supplies. I'm getting comment and soap and [__], and the next thing you know, I hear a door pop. And as soon as the door pops, we both turn and look, me and night out, both of us. He had a banger in the cell, but he didn't bring it out um, to get the supplies he usually did. And um, this is one time, the, the one time that he didn't bring it up. Whenever we come out to the showers, or whenever one of us will go to yard, we, we would bring it out. Um, but anyway, he left it in the cell. So the door pops, these two youngsters come up, and they were our neighbors. And these two dudes, I did, like I said, I didn't mind at all that they popped the door on those, because if, if I had my choice, it would probably those two that I would have wanted them to pop out with us. Um, so they come out, they rushes, they come at us, man. And I'm not gonna say this at, you know, uh, with no arrogance or to sound tough, man, but it was, it was, it wasn't even a, um, it wasn't even a fight. It wasn't even a fair fight. Night out was a big dude. I was a healthy ass dude. We were two beasts in that cell. That's all we did is [__] work out. We had two blocks, and I just came up, you got to understand Susanville, they had a weight pile. So you know, I just come from a prison before that that I was out on the weight pile blowing up in. But anyway, that's what we used to do in ourselves is we had two big ass blocks of legal work, and we'd just be in there just getting it, man. So we were both healthy dudes. These two cats that came out, man, they didn't even look like they worked out, and they were young, man. They were young ass cats. Now I call them young, but at the same time, I was probably the same age as them, I was 22, but young, I'm talking about is, when I say young, I'm talking about as far as mentality, because these dudes carry themselves like straight idiots, man. I conducted myself with an air of respect, like I had been around, like I had done time before, but that's not how these dudes carry themselves. I'm telling you, they were, you know, they would walk, come in off the yard and walk by the cell without even looking in, and that's disrespectful. It's disrespectful. It's like you look and you're like, oh [__] you then, man, you know what I mean? Or uh, you know, sometimes when they did look, they would look just a little bit too long, man, like you know, you're trying to I [__] somebody, and then, you know, like I said, the, the striking up with their hoods on the um, yard door, they would scratch it on the door. I seen, you know, ex, um, X3 everywhere, their hoods and [__], and you know, nobody wants to see my hood, so it's disrespectful, man. I felt like they did that not just to represent their hood, but to say, you know, [__] you to us, man. So um, it was all good, man. That hit, that had never happened to me before when I was in CPI by myself with the other Southsiders over there, and I'm glad it didn't, because there were some cool ass cats. If it had, then it had, I would have done my thing, I'm sure they would have done theirs, but I just didn't have a beef with these cats. While I wanted the doors to pop and for us to get out on the tier and give these cos an opportunity to lay one of us out, you know what I mean? There was just, there was nothing to gain from me. But anyway, so these cats, the door pops open, I dropped my [__] supplies, everything I have in my hands, and I meet them like halfway. They, we met up by the stairs, um, one squares up with night out, the other one squares up with me, and it, it was so, it happened so fast that it was literally over before it even begun, and I don't mean that, um, I mean that in more ways than one. So the one that came out, the one that came at me, he came at me all crazy, he ran up, and I literally backed up and [__] did a double pump and [__] laid his ass out. I hit him with a smoking Joe Frazier right, straight up, man. Um, I didn't knock him out, but I cracked him and put him on his [__] cachetes, man. I didn't even get a chance to get on them, oh, before it was over. I turned, homeboy was, homeboy was handling the other one by himself. He was on the other one. I was gonna get on him, um, the one that night I was fighting with, but George, the, the guy in the tower, who was a cool ass cop, he'd already busted on us with the birthday, and he was getting ready to bust with the other, with the 14. So we laid out, we all proned out. Um, nobody said nothing. There was no [__] talking after we were on the ground. Um, when we proned out, they made us one by one, uh, well, they told one of them to get in the shower, so one of them went in the lower shower, the other one they made get in the upper shower, and then uh, me and night out, they had him get up first because he was closer to the uh, to the door. They cuffed him up, took him out, it cuffed me up, took me out, then they went in the pot, cuffed those guys up. Why they went in ourselves and hit ourselves, I don't know. But unfortunately, we had a banger, and this was the one time that the homie didn't bring it out with us. It was, we were working out, and you know, they popped this for supplies, and supplies were quick. We grabbed our soap, grab our comment, our little green pad, and usually we were back in the cell. Whenever we would come out for showers, or he would come out for yard, or I'd come off a yard, we always
Bring that banger with us, man. But this was the one time that we did it, and then they ended up going in the cell and they found it. It was in his bunk; it was in his mattress. So, um, oh, it was right there. It was right there under the mattress, on top of, uh, his concrete, the the bed, the slab. So, um, you know, didn't nobody get whooped; nobody got [ __ ] uh, beat down. But with that, with that situation, did right there, is it, it um, it brought some measure of respect to the pot; it brought some measure of respect to me and my selling. Um, because these youngsters weren't all cocky after that, you know what I mean? And their homie, seeing what happened, they had they seen what happened. I I'm gonna go as far as saying this: I was only there for a little bit, a while longer before I would end up paroling. But, um, I could have swore a couple of times that I heard them talking on on the gate amongst each other, and they were clowning those two cats for getting whooped on on the Terry van, straight up.
Um, now the reason why I think it was it was done purposely is because the seal that worked that worked up in the control booth, his name was George, cool ass cat, always on his toes, never made mistakes. And George was—I would find this out later, but even then I remember he was doing it back then—so on the on the control panel, you have a bunch of buttons; everything is controlled by electricity up there; it's all electric. The doors, whenever your door opens up, it's on an electric rack; it opens up, and they close it. So he had these little caps that I used to see him put on top of the buttons, and the whole purpose for that was to minimize the possibility of him, um, making a mistake and pushing the wrong button. As long as those caps are on top of the buttons, you're not going to be able to push them, so you can't make a mistake like that. However, these these two Southsiders that they let us they let out with us on the on the tier, um, they were disrespectful; they were always disrespecting staff. So I believe that George did that on purpose. We didn't even get written up, and and it's because they came out while we were out on the tier, you know what I mean? It looked like they came out and rushed us, even though they got the bad end of it. Um, that's just the way it happened. It was uh, you know, that that situation that happened right there, I had waited for it to happen the entire time I was there, when I was in the other pot. But like I said, I'm glad it did; it um, it would have been a whole different uh type of fight. I know that because the other Southsiders that were over there, some of them were in me um, the woods that were over there, there were some good-sized dudes. Um, not gonna say they would uh, you know, they wouldn't—you never know what would happen, man; you never know. But I would I believed that I would have had a with any one of those dudes that were in the Pod, I would have had a good heads-up fight with any one of them, not just the fact that I was by myself, and it would have always been a two-on-one because they all had cellies. I'd have been by myself.
Um, but um, anyway, so that happened; that happened. Uh, it was funny, man; it was it was uh, comical. You know, the one that the one that I got—I would say out of all, if I had a choice to say, you know what, I wish they could pop us out with these guys because you know they're the ones that are [ __ ] uh, pushing this uh, this white [ __ ]—it would have been the ones that came out, and the one that came at me was the one with the biggest um, attitude, you know what I mean? But it it it it it took a lot of that pep out of his step, you know. Uh, the fact that he got dropped on the tier, and the fact that his silly got um, he said he got tossed around like a ragdoll, um, it just it changed the whole the whole demeanor in the pot, man. Anyway, I'd end up paroling. So after that incident, I was thinking, I'm gonna get written up; I'm probably gonna end up doing another 90 days. No write-up, nothing. The floor officers, I gave, man, "You guys didn't get written up, you know I mean? You guys were out on interior, and you know, so you got to defend yourself." It was like a freebie, man. But anyway, homeboy got written up, but he did get written up for my sellies, for the banger. They found it; it was right there on his rack, um, where he kept it in the cell under a towel at all times. We kept it right there, but it was that one metal metal uh, mistake, and it cost, man. Um, I remember uh, writing him when after I got home, too, and uh, the D.A. had initially picked it up, but then they ended up dropping it. Um, homeboy wasn't a lifer either, so he was stressed out, but he ended up beating it, or he didn't beat it; they dropped it, so he ended up being all right, man.
Anyway, so after this time right here, that was another incident that I got into up in Pelican Bay. So I probably won't have to—I don't even think it's it's worthy of a war story. I mean, it was a fistfight, and those kind of fights, man, I I can't really say that that was a w, even though I'm the one that dropped that cat, and even though my Sally was on the other dude, and if you would have let him go, he would he would have destroyed the dude. But in these kind of fights, man, when you're fighting and the CEOs are—you're fighting under a gun, and you're getting shot at—there's no winner; you can't declare a winner, you know what I mean? Uh, just like you guys are going to hear about these Gladiator fights that I that I got into, um, when you're going out there and you're fighting with these dudes, and you're fighting under a gun, you might have you might be the better man that day. Um, if nobody gets knocked out, you might just, you know, that you're right; crossing your [ __ ] left uppercut might have been working; you might have been the one connecting that day. But the following uh, week when you guys go back out, uh, maybe that left cross and then up right uppercut ain't working, and his is. But either way, before you can get a a real determined winner, most of the time you guys are gonna get put on the deck, proned out, and it's gonna be over, man. So you you don't really get to—you know what I'm saying is—you don't really get to engage in a full fight until somebody taps out, until somebody's beat the [ __ ] up and don't want to fight no more. So those are not wins; they're just altercations, man. You can't really say, you know, "I whooped your ass," and I would never say that to these dudes, and there was there was never no no woofing or talking after we [ __ ] it was uh, "Hey, if anything, I'll shake your hand, and let's do it again, homie," you know what I'm saying? "Let's do it again," and um, "keep doing what we got to do." It's as simple as that.
Anyway, so I'd end up staying there for probably about another month. I was short, man; I had already been down for a minute. Um, I remember I paroled, parole from Pelican Bay; first time I wasn't on high-control parole yet; they hadn't even come out with high-control parole. I remember so that I remember the day that I went, I paroled. So they come and get me early in the morning; I'm happy as a [ __ ]; I'm getting out, fresh uh, healthy. They come and and they pull me out; I strip out; they walk me all the way down to r r, and uh, once I get to r r, they give me my dress house. I put on my [ __ ]; I'm like, "Hell yeah!" Getting ready to hit these [ __ ] streets again, man. There's no feeling like that feeling when you're giving your freedom back, and you're healthy, and you're just you're ready to go; you're ready to see, you know, your girl, you if you got kids, your family, you know what I mean? So there's no feeling better than that feeling of getting your freedom returned to you, man. I can't explain it; it's just the best feeling in the world after you've been locked up and and you've been deprived of of things for, you know, a year or however long you've been locked up. It's there's nothing that compared to it.
Anyway, so I remember the first time I paroled, I went in r r; they dressed me out, counted out my 200, and um, they held on to it until we left. So we get in we get in the van, and we drive to Crescent City to the the uh, the little city part, if you really want to call it that. It's like a little small [ __ ]; there's nothing out there, man. I mean, it's it's somewhat of a small city, but the the Greyhound station was literally—it was probably—you could probably fit a soda machine and two chairs in there; that was like the lobby. And then on there was a window, and then there was one enough for like two people behind the window; it was hella small, man; it's like a closet. Anyway, I remember walking up to the walking in there uh, when the van pulls up; they let me out; all three of us walk in; I was the only one that that day parolee, and uh, the two CEOs walked in with me, and they handed me my money, and I walked up and I'm like, "I need a ticket to San Francisco." And she took—she—I paid for it; she gave me the ticket. Then we walked outside; now I'm outside, and I'm chilling; I'm like, "I want to drink like a [ __ ]; I want a beer or something." But these cats post up; they posted up with me then, and they told me, "We're not gonna leave until we see you physically get on the bus and leave." It's all good; I ain't tripping. So anyway, they um, they stand there the whole time; I'm just I'm just chilling, you know; they're trying to talk to me, so what are you gonna do, man? You know where you stand, or you got things lined up; you got a job, you know I mean? Uh, so anyway, the bus finally pulls up; it pulls up, and the get the the bus driver's gassing up the bus now, so it's all right there like personal little uh, Greyhound um, gas pump and all that; they gas up the bus. Uh, these two officers stood there until I got on the bus, and then I seen them uh, drive up.
So you know the crazy thing, before I end this part of it, the crazy thing about um, the way that they used to do it back then is—well, let me tell you guys, I just tell you what happened. So when the bus finally starts going towards San Francisco's driving back through Northern California, all these little small rural towns and [ __ ], when I see it, I see a a bunch of the stops; they kept stopping at small stores, little little liquor stores. So right away, the first time we get to a liquor store, I see it, "Oh [ __ ], I'm gonna go get me an Old English 800 or Mickey's." So I get off the bus, and as I'm getting off the bus, I can see like there's a couple of people that are working in the store; one of them comes around and walks over to the coolers and posts up by the beer coolers. So you know my happy ass, I come walking in, and I go to to the to where the beer is at, and the guy's standing in front of the cooler, and I'm like, "Excuse me, man." He's like—he's like, "Oh, no, no, there's no alcohol." And I'm like, "What?" He's like, "No, we can't say you guys know alcohol; we're under strict orders not to sell anybody any alcohol that comes off of Greyhound." I'm like, "You got to be kidding me, man." So I'm like, "All right, man, whatever, man." So I go back; I get a soda or something [ __ ], and then I I do the same thing on the next one, and it's the same [ __ ]; they're on it, man; they were on it all the way until eventually it's like some cats got on, man. I forget where it was at, out there out there by [ __ ] Humboldt, summer—I don't know—but there was like some some cool little youngsters that got on, some white cats, and uh, you know, we start chopping it up, and I'm telling them, man, "[ __ ], I just got out, and I want a beer; I wanted something." Like, he was like, "Bro, we get to Santa Rosa, the next stop goes, give me uh, give me twenty dollars; I'll go get you whatever you want; there's a store right there." And I tell them, "Boom, go get me uh uh a 40 ounce and give me a a little pint so [ __ ] uh, Bacardi um, one-on-one, whatever that shit's called." So he goes; he comes back; he gets it, and I'm like, "Hell yeah, man!" Now I mean, I'm drinking; now I'm on the bus. By the time I hit Frisco, man, boy, I was faded because I was drinking my beer, and I kept I kept taking shots, man, by myself. So I get to the airport and the the um, not the airport, the [ __ ] terminal, the bus station in downtown San Francisco; I'm drunk, walking sideways like a [ __ ], and uh, you know, I I'm having to deal with that PTSD for the first time, man. I I get out there, and and I see pigeons and people walking around in cars and buses, and there's so many different noises and colors and things happening, and there's so many different things moving, and it was like, man, I just I had to get the [ __ ] off the street; it's like I'm I'm freaking out, man. No, I don't know how to explain it to you guys; I know I've said it before, but when when you're back there in the shoe, it's a security thing; you're trying to watch everything that's happening; if anything moves, you know, um, the doors squeak, you know what that means. But as far as watching things, something moves, you're gonna try to—you know, I'm trying to watch this pigeon; I'm trying to watch this car; this person over here—and it was like, man, I need to I just need to slip into an alley somewhere and chill, man, otherwise I'm gonna lose it, you know what I mean? I I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown, straight up. So I get a 40 and I slip off into an alley right there and um, downtown San Francisco, right there by the Tenderloin, man, and I start drinking my beer, man; I start relaxing; this [ __ ] just mellows me out. Um, I'm already still faded from the other um, beer that I was drinking in Santa Rosa and the Bacardi, but you know, it starts to cool me down, calm me down again, and uh, then I'm able to function, and that's how I would function, man. Every time I would get out on these Pro violations, I needed alcohol; it was the first thing I got early in the morning, as soon as I wake up, and it was the last thing that I would drink at nighttime, man.
But so look, man, uh, episode 28, I'm gonna I'm gonna—I might cut it tonight; I don't know; we'll see. But next episode, you know, basically I'm I'm gonna end up running running around on the streets; I'm gonna end up getting the violation, catching another violation, and this time, instead of sending me back to Pelican Bay, they're gonna shoot me the corporate; it's gonna be cracking over there, man. It's the first time I might end up hitting Corcoran; Gladiator days is in full effect, so I'm gonna give I'm gonna give you guys the whole get-down. Um, we're gonna get into that, and um, those are going to be upcoming episodes of War Stories as well. So you know, I might talk about something, but I'll probably go into a lot more detail in the in the war stories. But anyway, man, hey, this is episode 27; I hope you guys liked it. I might hit you with 28 tonight; we'll see what happens. But any event, at least getting this one out to you guys right here, without further ado, it's your boy B man, and I'm out. [Music] oh [Music]