Transcription
Public speaking fear and how to overcome it.
This is Jurgen Rasmmanson. In this video, I'm going to be covering exactly that. I've spent the last 28 years seeing clients professionally, and public speaking fear is one of the topics that I've helped the most clients with. I also have a lot of experience giving seminars and speeches internationally. So, this is a topic that I know very well.
I'm going to be sharing with you something very specific in this video that's been useful for most of my clients. And if you apply it, there's a good chance it's going to be useful for you as well.
Let me start off with a little story. Back in 1998, I was in California and I attended a lecture. There was about a hundred people in the room. And during the lecture, the speaker suddenly just lost his train of thought. It was obvious to everyone that the guy was lost. Now, instead of beginning to tell stories or trying to distract people or or or or to hide somewhat, the guy did something very different. He just stopped and he asked the question, "How many of you have ever had the experience of knowing something, having it on the tip of your tongue, but for some reason you just can't access it? If you ever had that experience, please raise your hand."
Now, guess how many hands went up? Like a hundred hands, right? And he said to them, "Keep your hand up." and he raised his own hand and he said, "I'm in the exact same boat. Who can help me? What was I talking about?" And everyone burst out laughing. Someone told him and he went, "Oh, that was it." And he was back into it.
Now, he had greater rapport and connection with his audience after that screw-up than he had prior to the screw-up. And the reason for that is because he found a way to utilize what happened to connect with the audience to essentially communicate to them that I'm like you. We are alike.
So this principle of utilization can be extremely useful. So here's what I recommend that you do. I recommend that you sit down, you grab a piece of pen and paper and you divide the paper in two. And on the left side, write down your your three greatest fears. Whether that be that you get so visibly nervous that people can notice it, or whether it's uh forgetting, you know, your your mind going blank when you're up there, or the audience not laughing at your joke. Whatever your greatest fears might be, but but take your three greatest fears. If in fact there is three, if if there's one, use one. If there's two, use two. If there's three, use three. You you get the point. But write those down on the left side of the paper.
Now, on the other side of the paper, I want you to write down a very specific thing to do. But the rule of the game is that that particular thing to do has to be based upon an answer to the following question. And that is, if X happens, meaning what you just wrote on the left side of the paper. If X happens, how can I utilize it to connect better with my audience? I'll say that once again. If X happens, whatever you wrote down on the left side of the paper, how can I utilize it to connect better with the audience?
You see, what what really what people are really afraid of is their own experience. They're afraid of their own thoughts and feelings. They're afraid of getting overwhelmed. And it's that feeling of inescapability, that sense of I'm I'm just lost here. I'm just overwhelmed that people fear. But as soon as your mind has an an option B, as soon as your mind has a, you know, if this happens, I'll do this. If that happens, I'll go here. Once you have that and you rehearse that a little bit, you you take away the whole basis for that perception of inescapability.
So what this guy did is that he he spontaneously utilized the fact that his mind went blank and used it as a bridge to communicate better with his audience to create a bond with them to essentially communicate to them that I'm like you. We're in the same boat.
You can do this with pretty much anything. So, I I'll I'll give you a couple of of other examples uh of this. So, one typical fear that people might have is that they come in and they say, you know, I'm I'm so scared of becoming visibly nervous, you know, to the point where people can can notice it and and think that I'm weak and and insecure. So, one thing that I've had several people do, and here's the irony, that as soon as people have this plan in mind, they've taken away the basis for that feeling of inescapability, the chances that they have to do this is dramatically reduced, right? The the fear goes down. But what I've had a few people do is to go up on on stage, let's say that they're presenting a particular product, and to say something along the lines of, you know, my heart's beating pretty fast. Butterflies in the stomach, floating all over the place. Quite exciting to be me at the moment. But something else which is truly exciting is this. And and and they move straight into their presentation.
Now, this usually gets a a laugh and it it connects to people because it's so honest. It's honest. It's unconventional. It it grabs people's attention because it's a bit unorthodox. And then you place the attention where you actually want it. Not only that, a lot of people are a bit nervous of the thought of being up there. So for someone to be that forthcoming, that honest, that just raw with it without playing victim builds rapport with a large segment of the audience.
You know, you might have another fear. You know what if someone asks a difficult question that you can't answer? Well, work on that. go. Well, if that happens, how can I use that to connect better with the audience and to become a better communicator? I'll give you a couple of other examples here, too.
So, you know, sometimes people fear how other people will perceive them and other times it's not living up to their own standards. When I was a young man, I I worked as a bouncer for a while and there were of course quite a few altercations. It was something of a rough bar and I I I was a lone bouncer. So I would have to deal with these altercations pretty much every weekend for 6 months. Right after that, I've been pretty much allergic to drunk people. Uh but but anyways, one thing that would often happen is that my legs would start shaking a bit. you know, this would be the adrenaline dump. And that wasn't good because if people see it, they might, you know, interpret it as weakness. So, I asked myself that question, how can I utilize it? And what I came up with was, of course, there's always music playing in the background. So I just started tapping my foot in the rhythm of the music and and and and that you know kind of utilized the movement and it it made me come across as someone who was quite comfortable and cool with the situation.
Something else that I I also had a slight fear of was if the adrenaline gets high, what if I lose control over my voice? A lot of people have that fear when it comes to public speaking. So what I would do is I would I would do sprints, go running and then when the pulse was really high, I would practice speaking. This is very possible to do. You you can modulate your voice. You can remain connected to the external world even if your heart is beating fast. I would sometimes in between sparring rounds when doing kickboxing uh practice talking just practicing modulating my voice. And of course, what this did is that it it it gave my brain a way out of those perceptions of inescapability because I knew that even if my heart started beating and my pulse got high, I could still regulate my own voice and to speak clearly. So that concern was no longer there and as a result that fear completely dropped away.
So, I hope this is useful. I I know actually that it in all likelihood will be if you use it. I'd really appreciate your feedback in terms of how that goes for you. And and also if you would like some additional help, if if public speaking is a fear for you and you would like to overcome that fear and to become a better public speaker, know that I see clients from all over the world online, you you can reach out to me for consultations at provocative hypnosis.com. Thanks for listening.