Transcription
I'd like to dedicate this award to Ball, the demon king, and a shad to all those sacrificed to the fiery altar of hell.
Let's get to the actual like positive part. Uh Jesse Buckley, I don't pretend to know who Jesse Buckley is, but she won best actress, which of course is a huge huge award. And instead of giving a I mean the the best way to describe it would be s like a a a a offering to bail which is what happened with Michelle Williams. We have that Michelle Williams clip please. I know the boys have it. um instead of giving an offering to bail, which is what happened just a few short years ago where this actress named Michelle Williams, who nobody cares about and is totally irrelevant, uh but she she got up and like said, "I wouldn't be able to do this without without my abortion." Right? This is what Michelle This is what Michelle Williams said. Just just fast forward right here. Play.
Messy and scrawling, sometimes careful and precise, but one that I had carved with my own hand. And I wouldn't have been able to do this car with your own hand without employing a woman's right to choose. She's literally holding up her golden idol, saying how she sacrificed her child to it. It was one of the sickest things anybody ever seen. All these plastic witches sitting there glaring on. Look, I worship my golden idol and I sacrifice my children to it. Yep. Yep. It's the Church of Satan. That's what it is.
Well, anyway, fast forward to today and you have this lady, Jesse Buckley. Again, I don't know what the hell this is, but she gives quite literally the opposite speech and I think it's wonderful. Listen to this.
You, Fred, I love you, man. I love you. You're the most incredible dad. You're my best friend, and I want to have 20,000 more babies with you. I do. I do. and Isa, my little girl who is eight months, who has absolutely no idea what's going on and is probably dreaming of milk, but this um is kind of a big deal. And I love you and I love being your mom and I can't wait to discover life beside you, Chloe and Maggie. you to get to know this incandescent woman and journey to understand the capacity of a mother's love is the greatest collision of my life. It's um it's Mother's Day in the UK today. I mean that's cool. like to dedicate this to the beautiful chaos of a mother's heart. We um we all come from a lineage of women who continue to create against all odds. Thank you for recognizing me in this role. This is the greatest honor. I can't even believe it.
The power of a mother, man. Super cool. the power of mom like in a speech and like my wife this morning was like that's like unbelievable to hear. Uh mom saying you know what in you know like motherhood is hard. It's the most rewarding thing also in the world. All hard things. The only rewarding things are actually the hard things. Nothing feels good when it's too easy and sloppy and effortless. It's a problem with our society actually. I don't know if people get punched in the face. Um, and like parenthood is hard. That's what makes it the most rewarding thing on earth. And the scriptures say that life is hard. The scriptures guarantee that Christians will live tough lives. And it makes it rewarding. It's wonderful to hear that message that actually like in in in like the difference in I sacrifice my child to get my golden idol versus like this golden idol means nothing in relation to my beautiful children. I and I was able to achieve both and thank God for that. Very cool, man. Very cool. Wild times.
My uh my uh my uh team is telling me that Brandon Gil is set, rocked, and ready to go. Shocking. Nicole Kidman talks about Jesus Christ and her faith. Whoa. Michael B. Jordan thanked God, too, at the Oscars. Are we winning, chat? Dare I say it? IS IT POSSIBLE that we're actually winning? I don't know, man. Just pop that tweet up. We don't need to listen to it, but like let's like that's crazy. Actress Nicole Kidman reveals she was she was at church all day before the Oscars. I was at church on Sunday. That's what we do on a Sunday. Wow. She like honors Jesus Christ from the carpet of the Oscars. Weird and cool. That's That's funny. Clyde, pop that up.
White people be like, "Got to help got to help them helpless minorities." 8% of the world. Yeah, that's right. White people be like, "Oh no. Oh no, the minorities. How can we how can we possibly how can we possibly help them?" I don't think I like I there was no shockingly there was very little activism against cops, police, the military, ICE. ALX said there might have been like a little hint of it but like but actually not. And okay, some maybe somebody wore like a little pin, but like when it came to muing griping speeches, when it came to like the muing Oh, and this is uh this is Paul. You everybody should follow Paul's account. Paul's great. Big shout out to Paul. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to Paul. Go ahead and show go ahead and show the profiles. Chris like a fantastic breaking news account. There you go. Uh Paul. Uh, I'm just going to say I'm just going to say Polish la Polish last name. We're going to call him Paul Polish. Okay.
Uh, why why was there so little activism against cops? Well, because the Oscars is under bomb threat. The Oscars were being threatened by the Iranians. They apparently was going to be some type of drone bomb that was flown into the Oscars. I didn't advocate for it. I'm not trying to make a light of I don't want that to ever happen to anybody, no matter how much I disagree with them. Uh, but that that was the reports that they were going to fire a drone from a boat and the drone might have hit the Oscars would be a very high value target. You know, obviously for trying to make a point, the eyes of the world watching. And so they ratcheted up the police presence and protection to 11. There were cops everywhere, Secret Service, the FBI, probably ICE agents. But just like to be an extra law enforcement presence, they they were everywhere. And so it's remarkable how the moment that Hollywood feels under threat to go back to uh calling the same police that they called for being defunded just a few short minutes ago.
Okay, the the last final humiliation ritual before we get to the really good stuff is the YouTube joke because the Oscars is going to be streaming on YouTube exclusively starting in 2029. Okay. All right. All right. What does this mean for us? What does it mean for our programming alx? What what does it what does it mean we get to does this mean we get to like announce a category? What does this mean exactly? What do we get to do now? We have to get now some special privileges. Okay, here we go. Uh, this was actually kind of funny. Here, let's go. Oscars roasting themselves.
Starting in 2029, did you know this? Instead of ABC, the Oscars are going to air solely on YouTube. Yeah, it's the future. Yes. Big change. Some people are worried this will change how the Oscars are viewed, but I've been assured that there will no J Lynch FOR PRO TACTICAL FLASHLIGHTS UP to 2500 lumens of brightness conveniently packed into a handheld flashlight. The same flashlight that killed Fin. Come on, that's kind of funny. Sorry about that, but like I said, I don't think this is going to change the Oscars at all. I think this is a chip. Have you been injured in a tactical flashlight related incident? You may be eligible for compensation. Don't let big tactical flashlight get the better of you. I like that they use the same actors. Or Jane Lynch. Uh all right, ladies and gentlemen, the Oscars are suffering. The ratings, no doubt. We're probably through the floor. Uh the Oscars are horribly in debt, as is Hollywood.