Transcription
Are you kidding me? Don't regret it. To be honest, my intention is to ask you some questions that have never been asked before. I want to journey into your mind. I was very nervous and very excited all day to talk to you. I like you very much. I am a big fan of yours. I know you hear this often. But that is one reason why you are so important to me. It is because you were one of the first Black women who showed diversity in various roles. You played many kinds of roles. And more than that, you were the first for me. Because when I think about the first time I saw someone who looked like me fall in love, it would be you. The first brown woman on how to love someone, how to have a broken heart, how to defy your parents. Even the first time... you didn't do that. Well, you did do that a few times. Even the first time I saw a dusky woman act like boys. Because I was completely tomboyish since childhood. I was too, I was too. Yes. And the first time I felt good was when I saw you in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I remember now the first time I saw a dusky woman drunk, it was in DDLJ. I thought, oh my god, she got drunk. That's amazing. I love it. So actually, you have been the first example of emotions for me. It was you. It was truly you. So... thank you very much. But at the time when you were actually shooting those films, did you understand the importance of all this at that time? Absolutely not. And who does? Who does? If you ever have to do it... I mean, what was I? I started working in films at the age of 16. And I think when I was 19 or 20... when I started shooting DDLJ, I was 18 years old. I think DDLJ was released when I was 20 years old. Wow. Yes. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was released when I was 23. I mean, how much do you really know about anything when you are that age? How much do you really know about life? And you don't have a plan for life. And you don't have to, I mean, you don't have to sit down... at least I didn't. I don't know about the rest. I'm sure there are many more sorted kids around here who are like, no, I'm sorry, I had my life planned at 16. I know exactly what I'm going to do and where I'm going to go. But I didn't. And I had no idea about any of these films. Or any of these decisions, or even saying who I am, would hurt anyone. So yes, I was just myself. And I was fine. I was honest. I was happy with myself. And I am still honest and happy. I am watching it. I am watching it. I want to know a little more about those three films. But before that, I would like to say, as you see her pictures on the wall, Karan was in the last season. You know, Karan is very outspoken. He is a very open-minded person. Yes. And so when I asked him about the films, he himself said, I would do it differently. I can't believe I did that. This is my way of allowing you to say that he did a lot of nonsense. And you can do the same. If you want to, that's my way of saying it. So if I ask any white person, what was the first Bollywood film you saw? You'll say, thank you. So Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is usually people's introduction to Hindi cinema. I watched it a week and a half ago. Because I was introducing someone to Hindi cinema. And at a particular part of the film, I always get the same reaction. I didn't understand this when I was young and watching it. When I grew up, I watched it and thought, did this scene disturb me in any way? And I will tell you the whole scene. At the end of the film, you and Shah Rukh go back home. And Shah Rukh is addressing his father, Amitabh Bachchan. And his father asks, why didn't you come home? Why didn't you come home? Why didn't you come home? It was your fault. And my friends always pause and move forward. He's kind of coaxing him. As if he told him not to come home. To be honest, I can't decide. Whether it has affected my relationship with my parents or not. So you think Amitabh is right in that situation? No, I don't. But ultimately, the way we are raised, the way we have been raised, today our parents, I think my mother has every right to be irrational. I think my mother has earned that right. By cleaning my butt and wiping the poop and I peed on her and she burped me. She has every right to stand and be irrational. And to throw tantrums at me. I'm not talking about terrible things. Yes. If apologizing gives them enough satisfaction, there's no harm in it. Even if they didn't accept you, you were standing at the door, just to remind you. For information. You were the daughter-in-law. I know, I understand all this. Would your answer have been the same before becoming a mother? Probably not. You are like, as a guardian, now I can say it is completely acceptable for parents to be irrational. I just feel like I understood exactly when I had my own children, then I realized how much a parent loves their child. And when my daughter was born, it was one of the first conversations. That was between me and my mother. I think my daughter was about six months old. And I called my mother and I sat and I screamed a lot on the phone. And I said, Mom, I never knew how much you loved me. I never knew how much you cared for me. I still don't know. I don't have it. I don't have it. I always think in my mind that I did everything right. For my mother and I took care of her and I love her more than life. But I never understood how much she loved me until I had my own children. And that's why I'm saying this. I'm just saying that this is something, it's not that, I'm just saying that it stems from love. And if you look at it from that perspective, if that person loves you so much and if you look at it from that perspective, oh my god, that person loves you so much! It's better if you don't agree on some things. But they love you. You can't leave them. You want to fix everything. You just fixed something within me. I want you to know about free therapy. I love it. Free therapy. Come on. Well, I'm very glad you answered that. Honestly, it wasn't the answer I was expecting. But when it comes to DDLJ and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, I have a similar question in my mind. And today people watch it at this time. Today those two films, what do you expect them to learn from those films? And what things do you not want them to take away, what are your expectations? From those films? Well, one thing is that I don't think anyone at 18 or 19 years old is going to go up. And say to them, Dad, can I go on this trip? They say something like, Father, we really, I have to go on a school trip. And you really have to pay the price for it. So it's more than that, you know, asking for permission. I think I would want them to take away that relationships and family are important. After all, at the end of the day, whatever we get from life. So I hope that's one aspect of it. Ultimately, your family is your family. And they love you. And, you know, that's everything. What do you expect people not to conclude from it? At least my dressing sense is solid. I want to make it clear that under no circumstances, and I want to make it clear. Because I am a big fan of all these films. And there is no world where I am trying to drag these films down. They raised me, I love them very much. I can shout about them. I don't even feel it's entirely appropriate to say, well, that's what happened. Because it was a different time. And I know exactly where it was written. It was written for another time. It came from a completely different perspective. I mean, I think we can all contribute a little bit to it. As they say, cinematic liberty that everyone takes. Would you mind if I narrated a scene to you? Which I think about a lot? And I will tell you a poignant story first. So it has only happened once in my entire life. I went to a party. I was fully adult. I went to a party. My day was going very badly. I think I had maybe one or two drinks. And for the first time in my entire life, I just kissed a boy. With whom I had no relationship. I just did that, I kissed a boy. The next day when I went home, a male friend of mine called me and I felt very bad about it. I really felt like you should be very ashamed of yourself. Women shouldn't do that. This was a very important memory for me. Because I felt very bad about it. And the reason for bringing this up is because it reminds me of that scene in DDLJ. When Shah Rukh's character plays a prank on you. Like, hey, we actually slept together. And I think your character is very upset about this. And very disturbed. I think for that scene, I asked Karan about that scene a while ago. And he said, yes, maybe something would be different then. If it happened today. So, for your own therapy and healing, would you mind if that happened? I will send you the bill after this podcast. Okay, one hundred percent. Can we look at that scene for a moment? Is that okay? So I have a question for you. Would you like to make any changes to this scene? If you had the right to change the artistic direction, would you react differently? Should the girl react differently? I would definitely remove my lipstick. And said, sorry, wrong color. I don't think you would be so sad, right? Maybe? To be honest, it's very much about women. It's a very specific thing about women. Maybe I'm not that sad about it or yes, of course, you would play differently. I mean, if you had to shoot it differently, it would depend on which character you are playing. Whether you are playing a city character or not, or you were playing a character who, you know, was a little further from the city area or, you know, in a town or perhaps a small village. It would depend on where your character is from. And all that, how you would play it. But I think the basic emotion is that, when you don't remember what you did, or if you think you did something, you know, you really don't know whether you want to or not. Yes, you would be very sad about it, right? I think, yes, I would be very sad. It hasn't caused me any particular sadness. But you would be angry about it, right? No, I mean, you don't remember properly, you're right about that. But he's not disappointed. When you accept this reality, he is not disappointed. This is what's going on in my mind... I think because he remembers, right? I mean, that was the thought behind it. It's one of my favorite scenes in any film. It's from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. And it's when you... Tell me about this scene. You said you cried the first time you saw it. I said, yes, but it brings tears to the eyes, right? It happens. Yes, it happens somewhere. And it's something that probably many girls have felt. You know, when they tried and their efforts were not accepted. In whatever way. So yes, I think it's something that everyone would like. To feel a sense of belonging and a sense of being accepted. I think all of us young dusky girls need that. We need a sequel where your character just keeps screaming. When I was re-watching all these films, I noticed one thing, which was like this: Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, and DDLJ, we never saw an angry woman on screen. We rarely see a woman getting very angry. The way some men get angry. The closest thing that came to my mind is when Jaya Bachchan says "Kah diya na, bas kah diya" she repeats that line. It's not very harsh. She repeats it. But I was trying to think, I was thinking, by the way, Simran never gets very angry. Whatever Shah Rukh does, you know about it. Oh, I've shown anger many times on screen. But in these... I've hit people on screen. And I know you have, and I'll talk about that too. But in these films, in this era, it was rare to see that. It seems as if women had no rights... it wasn't so common to see a woman express her emotions. A whole range of emotions other than love or liking. Very few people would see or find someone getting very angry. Getting angry at someone for doing something. Do you think it was normal for that time? Didn't we understand women's anger at that time? Or did we not accept it? I think the roles were written beforehand. And most of the time, the films that were released at that time, the women who were not leading, were basically driven by men. So the parts that were written for men, the female characters didn't have that much meat. They didn't have that much, you know, they didn't have that much personality. There was no outline for them, so the range of emotions was limited. The range of emotions was very limited. But that doesn't mean we didn't show it in other films. I remember Hum Aapke Hain Koun, I did so many films where I actually did some scenes. Where I'm breaking plates and doing things like that. And shouting on screen. I remember all these scenes. So yes, I have screamed in one shot and given long monologues too. And actually killed people. Well, do you think anything has changed now? In Hindi cinema today? Do you think women are written better? With more breadth? No doubt. I think there are more, I think people are feeling that women are also human beings. Oh, too. But I think they are realizing that people, it's important to portray every character in the film well. The point is, it can't just be about one character. And a hero has, you know, a fantastic role and the rest of the film is completely mediocre. So yes, and I think women have, I think the film industry has actually involved more women now than before. And not just in front of the camera, but behind the camera too. So you have a lot of DPs, you have a lot of female photographers here. I mean, here, I haven't seen a female photographer until today. Even in pap photos, like, you know, you'll find paparazzi standing on the red carpet. And I think it was about seven years ago. I saw the first female photographer standing there. And I thought, wow, I mean, standing in such a sea of men and fighting for your position. I mean, it's not easy. So I thought, you know, I was very happy to see a woman standing there. So it was like that, I mean, women were everywhere. They are coming slowly but surely. The same applies to writers. Today, we have a considerable number of female writers. So yes, they are writing better things. For themselves too. And directors, I mean, which we didn't have before. Yes. So, I mean, it's everything. We need more women, costume designers. Set designers, everything. Because then you can stop rolling down the snow hill wearing a miniskirt. You know what I mean? That's something women still have to deal with. When will that change? How are you getting frostbite? For this purpose, for this culture? Oh my god! I know, and chiffon sarees and hero puffer jackets. Of course. And thermal wear. Of course. For my personal information only, how many times have you rolled in the snow from that hill? The first time I rolled down the hill, I stopped. But the second time Shah Rukh actually had to come to catch me before going into the water. So it was really one of those, he says, damn it, we can't do this again. And he's in his puffer jacket.
He is standing there. You are soon going to enter the sea. He was wearing a shirt. It was not that bad. That puffer jacket was Aamir's in the Fanaa film.
Because he had actually gone out, I think he had come two days ago. He had landed in Poland two days ago. He bought thermal clothes and a puffer jacket for himself. And I was standing in minus 27 degree temperature. On a snowy lake with a chiffon dupatta and how much effect the cold wind there would have, only God knows. Because it was not even possible to record it.
I looked at him and said, you will have to stick to your word and I will say that I would like to look thin on screen. Today will you ask for a puffer jacket? Today I have to say that on screen, yes, we all have our own things. Which we would like to see on screen, we are in our slimmest and best form. So no, I will not ask for a puffer jacket. But I will definitely make sure. I was wearing at least two layers of very thin thermal coverings. Okay, you know, I respect your commitment.
I think I actually fought only once. I used to fight a lot with Manish. Do tell. I used to quarrel a lot with Manish. Little finger up. On set. I used to quarrel with him about clothes. He wanted me to wear these. He wanted me to wear even more clothes. Much more than I actually wore. Especially my jewelry because I felt, I am not wearing these earrings. They are very heavy. They are scratching me from behind. I cannot wear these. What are these bangles? You will have to wear bangles. How can you wear a wedding outfit? Without wearing bangles? So, my fight with him used to be about this. These jewels, hair and makeup. We used to quarrel about that.
You are one of the most honest people I have spoken to so far. I can see that. You have very little filter and I am obsessed with you. So I want to try something called TMI. Too much information gets burdened on them. Give direct and honest answers to these questions. Are you ready? Are you nervous? Not necessarily. Are you nervous? No, but you can be good.
What is one thing your children do? That makes you think this is definitely karma. From my teenage days? Oh my God. I think when they ignore me. When they sit and ignore me, certainly, for anything. I am sitting at the table. I am sitting with them. We are all sitting together, but everyone is on their phones. And I was thinking, oh God! I did the same. The only difference was that I did not have a phone in my hand. I had a book in my hand at that time. This is quite good. This is quite good. Oh, I like this very much. Oh, I liked this one very much. Are you ready?
Among all your male co-actors you have taken, who is your favorite? They are all very sweet. And who? Okay, you will not name anyone? They are all adults. They are adult men. They can handle it. I think my friendship with Shah Rukh is something that makes me feel very comfortable with him. So I will say yes, he is one of those people I am very fantastic, very fantastic. With whom I feel comfortable working.
In the 90s, when you were on these sets, I think most of them were men. But what was stable life like for them? You were a young girl. What kind was it? You are quite vocal, a fearless, outspoken person. Did this ever cause trouble for people on set? A lot. Did you ever have to, like... stick to your word, like no, is this really me? I decided to stick to my word later. I don't think I realized that I had to stick to my word because 90% of the time I said what I had to say and I left from there. To do my own will. So I didn't even realize this. You know, someone disagrees, in some cases they agree with me. I was like, okay, I have to do this, right? I will do it this way. And I am continuing and I am doing my work. I would say, we had an opinion there, it might not match yours. But I had already continued and completed the work I had to complete. So, yes, I understood later that, you know, maybe it didn't happen. As it should have been, or maybe I should have been a little kinder, you know, expressing my opinion or whatever.
If Gen Z existed in the 90s, what is one thing about you? Would they consider it cancellable? I think my dress sense at that time. Really. I think they are very obsessed with fashion brands and, you know, how everything should be absolutely perfect all the time. And also my hair. Because there were no hair straighteners there. At that time. And I loved my curly long hair very much. And I lived with my curly long hair. Go, Rani. I love it. I love it. What is the most ridiculous direction? That you have ever been given by any director?
Wow, this is very fantastic. I was just telling someone this story recently where the director was telling me, you know, this is a slow motion shot, sit down slowly. I had to sit down slowly. And so she is telling me, he says, this is a slow motion shot, sit down slowly. Now, I don't know whether anyone understands it or not, but whenever we are shooting in slow motion, which is 48 frames, this is a technical aspect. You have to do everything fast because the camera is moving at such a high speed. That is why it is called high speed. But the director clearly did not know the way to do it at all. He did not realize that such high speed meant that the camera was moving at a very high speed. So he actually told me this, you know, this is a slow motion shot. You have to sit down slowly. So, yes, I do the exact opposite of this. Whenever someone shoots me in slow motion, I instinctively start walking slowly. And every time he says that, you are not in slow motion, because I always keep thinking like this, not you, the camera, this happens every time.
Have you ever stolen anything from set? Yes, I actually have. I have actually stolen some books. Because sometimes they have all these really very old ones, like I am very curious to know a lot about authors. And I like to shop, I like to get this kind of collection. You know, like all books by a particular author. So sometimes I have gone to the shooting set. And I found that one book that was, this is not in my collection. Oh man, I didn't even realize I don't have this book. Oh man, how silently! I looked at the production designer lovingly. We both looked at each other and they winked at each other and so on. And then it quietly went into my bag. Okay, very good. Now, if there is any continuity problem in the books, you know why, you know why. Okay. We are concluding on a good note.
Are you ready? You had a no-kissing policy here. For almost 30 years. Why did you change that? You had to ask this. I had to. Well, I am curious. To be honest, this was the season I was acting in and it had a lot to do with the character. And it had a lot to do with her personality. It was not just a kiss. It was about what she thought. What she wanted to happen, what did not happen with her, what she believed, what she trusted, what she could not believe. This was an integral part of the entire screenplay. Therefore, without cutting an integral part of the entire character, I could not remove that part.
I have one more question and you don't necessarily have to answer it. You explained the reason professionally, and I truly respect that. You think, this is absolutely right for the character. But did something change within you as a person that made you feel comfortable doing it? I think I was feeling uncomfortable with it. Until I actually stood on set, I was very uncomfortable with the idea. I liked it in theory. I was not sure if I was actually going to do it or if I would tell them, cut, cut, cut, this is not happening. But I think, I truly think that was just it. It was just a professional call. I felt like, okay, I can make this call today. I like that.
You were very much ahead of your time. I am sure you must have heard this before. You are very much ahead of your time. In fact, you were Gen Z even before Gen Z came. And what I mean by that is you said you babble a lot. You talk a lot. You and your characters encourage solo travel. Which is the hallmark of Generation Z. You said, let's travel alone. I said I will travel alone with my father's permission. Asterisk, absolutely. Let's add a little bit to it. Yes, yes, yes. Not apologetic at all. This is absolutely a Gen Z thing, isn't it? Generation Z also communicates using your talent, your meaning is that you are part of the culture. Your two children are also of the Gen Z generation, aren't they? Very much so.
What do you think about Generation Z? I think that actually they are, that people of the 90s are actually the most wonderful people because we have seen the era without social media and phones, and we knew how to write correctly in cursive writing. Now how is that skill proving for you? Do you use it regularly? I do, I do, I write a diary, right? Haven't we done that, I mean, right now? Isn't it the right time to sit and write a diary nowadays? I write a diary every morning, but not in handwriting. This is very great. Now look, this is exactly what I am telling you. Our generation is fantastic. And we did what we wanted to do. And today there is no proof of it. Look, we were sensible. Very good. Because we did not have phones.
I think we had to adapt to so many things, that is the reason. And, you know, first we had to get used to using phones. And, you know, moving from landlines to normal phones, to hand phones, which were almost this big. I remember the first phone was this big. On social media. And this was another very big change. So I think we are actually one of the most adaptable generations that exist. And if the world ends, if zombies take over and if they come to attack us, we will be the ones.
I think at this time Generation Z is going through this phase. And a place where there is an abundance of information. And perhaps because we grew up at a time when we had no information or only the information that was given to us by our parents. So we had to decide everything for ourselves. Whether it was ethics, whether it was boundaries, whether it was about our capabilities and our inabilities, our limits, our maximum limits which we wanted to break or not wanted to break, which we believed we could achieve. And I think today's generation has so much information that they are just flowing and flowing and they are unable to make decisions about these things, whether it is yours, whether it is someone else's, as if they know about it, absolutely. Because everyone knows this. Oh, this is right, this is wrong and this should be like this and this should be like that. But what do you want? Make up your mind about this. So I think this is something I think most of them have to struggle with.
This is really interesting. You are discussing critical thinking. The ability to make decisions for yourself because now you are surrounded by information. You have one son and one daughter, right? - Yes. Do you think this noise of information? Does it affect them differently? I think, yes, it does. How so? Like, how is it different for your daughter? I think it is different for my daughter because I think my daughter... both my daughter and my son understand it differently. I think that is the main reason. She is a girl and he is a boy. I think boys' lives are a little simpler and girls have a lot more, they have to push harder.
As a parent, how do you deal with this situation? Especially if you are talking about your daughter, especially a lot of noise is made about her. As a mother, how do you deal with this situation? I talk to her a lot. I talk to her. I explain everything to her. Oh, my mind is spinning. Do you talk to your children? I do this, I do this. This is a revolutionary thing. Do you talk to your children? Wait, hold on. So your daughter... I am patenting this. I am patenting this. This is truly like breaking the revolution.
So does your daughter actually contact you when she is going through some trouble? You know, this is a relationship that we had to build. And we built it because, well, hormonal changes happened and she was 12 years old. And it was like that, we were all scattered around. We were fighting and both of us were sometimes behaving irrationally. Both of us would sometimes become irrational. And I am behaving like a sensible person. I, you know, stood up and said that, okay, I am an adult. I should be a little more rational. I have to be a sensible person here, I have to play the role of a sensible person here. And so, yes, I, you know, made this decision that, no, if I am not going to do this, then, you know, fighting with her so much, I will try to talk to her as much as I can until she starts listening to me and I work with her. And so both of us had to struggle for almost three years. Both of us said, I don't want to listen to you. I don't want to talk to you. Yes, fighting, whatever. But eventually, yes, it turned into conversation, long conversations. The conversation moved forward, and then I realized it was just about me sitting and I was listening to her things. It was not about talking more. It was just about giving her space to speak herself. And the right to be heard. And that made the biggest difference. When I understood this, I realized that it was not about telling her how to do things. She will figure it out herself. But she had to do all this herself. All she needed was for me to sit there and listen to her as much as possible. So as a parent, this was my biggest learning. So by God's grace, today we are fine.
You have been one of the most honest people. Among all the people I have spoken to, these are the most refreshing people. This day is like a dream come true for me. Thank you very much for taking the time. On behalf of millions of people and the girls watching this, thank you very much for your work and your art. And for being who you are. It has made me who I am today. So thank you very much. Thank you very much. I think you should subscribe to this channel. Because I think she will also include the mistakes in it. I can do that. And you will be able to have more honest conversations. From wonderful people like Kajol. Like, comment, subscribe, do everything. I mean, you are with Rani. You said so, so do it now.