Why scarcity always works with men

Hi lovelies. I decided to come on live today because I haven't done that in a little bit. Um, let me just see that this is working, that I am live. Give me one second. Okay. Um, it says that we're waiting for me, which is interesting. If anybody is here, let me know. Okay, looks like this could be working. So if anyone is here, please let me know.

Um, for those of you guys that are subscribed to my channel, you guys will be able to engage with me. Okay, it's on and perfect. Um, and for those of you guys that want to leave comments or want to engage with me, please subscribe to the channel. I want to give this like perk to the members that are actually supporting me in my work and, um, enjoy my content.

Um, so hi guys, guys. I hope that everyone is doing well. I wanted to talk about scarcity today. You know, my channel is all about attraction and, um, oh, hi guys. Okay, perfect. You guys know that my channel is all about absence and like fundamentally attraction and how to get the, um, adoration of a high-value man. And so I talk about absence so much on my channel, um, because in order for us to have attraction with men, we need to keep some sort of like lure there, right? And if we're always in a man's face, um, he can't really develop certain feelings for us. And ultimately, we want to have quality men thinking about us, like pursuing us. And I, I want to get into that in this channel. I want to get into that in this video a little bit.

So, in terms of like life updates, uh, some of you guys know I'm planning a wedding. So Peter and I are getting married very soon, like in September, um, September 7th. And I'm a little bit stressed because we are so last minute with everything. And a lot of it is falling on me because, um, Peter works a lot, right? Like he's actually at work right now. And so I had to, um, look for the venue. I mean, he's helping as much as he can, but so we found like a really beautiful venue at a golf course, which is fitting because obviously Peter is a golfer. He was a golf pro. And, um, yeah, like we got the DJ, we got like the main things locked in. Um, and, you know, I did the invitations. So we're supposed to send that out tomorrow, but I am a little bit freaking out right now and a little bit panicking. And it could be because my period is super late. I'm like five days late at this point. So I'm, um, yeah, like I'm, I'm, I'm freaking out. So I figured, you know what? Let me just like distract myself and come in and do a live and like talk to you guys.

Um, because when Peter comes back, we're going to go do like our dress fitting. And oh, we have like a gazillion things to do. So the thing with me and, and also the thing with Peter and I always talk to you guys about this is we don't like to force anything. Like everything for us happens naturally and happens organically. And this is sort of how manifestation works. I'm not the type of person to plan something like a year in advance. That's, you just, you change so much, right? So even those of you guys that have been in touch with me or clients of mine, you guys know how much change has happened also in our relationship since January, right? There's just, you're constantly evolving and you're constantly changing, especially if you're into inner work. And so planning something a year in advance to me is like insane because you, you're just constantly developing. So how do you know what you're going to like a year from now? And so we really just booked City Hall last week. Like this is how fast everything is. And Peter was like, I want to have a party. So, um, yeah, so then we're like, okay, we'll have a party and like, we're sort of doing everything like last minute now. So it's going to end up really nice in the end and it's all going to work out.

But, um, so the thing with me is I'm a very low-key girl, but I do like, um, yeah, I like luxury, right? So if I'm going to do something, I want to do it well, right? Like I'm not going to just do something low-key. Like if we're going to do something, then it has to be my style, like my vibe. Uh, and Peter and I are very alike. Um, and so that part is like stressing me out right now. But although all the big things are are done, um, the makeup is booked, the photographer, we found a really amazing photographer and she's my vibe, she's booked. Um, so all that stuff is booked. But now the next thing, I guess, would be decor. And that's kind of stressing me out now too. So every time like we get to one thing and I, and I get it off my list, Peter will be like, um, you're still going to be stressed. And yeah, that's another thing I need to talk to you guys about at some point because the communication part, it's like, I'm obviously going to be stressed because there's a million things to do. But I also think like every time one thing is done, I'm going to be less stressed. But then there's something else that falls on my table, right? So like now the decor is kind of freaking me out. So that's another thing because I kind of want like an old Hollywood glam. So yeah, anyways, that's the rant. I just want to say hi to you guys.

Um, oh, thanks Sarah. Yeah. Um, I am going to be doing, um, paid master classes, um, later on with Peter, like after we're married, because I'm not going to share personal details about my life anymore, um, on Instagram or here, like the intricacies, because it's my life and, you know, people are really freaking nosy sometimes. Like I, if I don't want to share something, I don't want to share it. If I do, I do. But at the same time, um, there's certain things that I'm going to leave for people that actually want to, uh, come into like my paid classes in the future. And Peter's going to also do that with me as well. So we've, um, we already talked about like a master class that we're going to do in the future about, you know, what drew him to me. We also had a period of separation, um, which I'm not going to talk about publicly, um, but we'll do that in like a private container. And, you know, you guys will be able to speak to Peter and like ask him questions as well. And I can say that Peter is not, um, a guy that likes social media. He's not an attention seeker. He's not one of those guys. He's not a dating coach. He's not a relationship expert. He's just a regular dude, right? He's a high-value just man dude, right? And these type of men are not into social media and like parading their life around and they're not into that, right? So he'll also feel more comfortable if it's like a closed space and, um, doing something like that, um, versus like just coming on the internet and, you know, speaking about our life because that's super uncomfortable for him.

Um, and so, yeah, we'll do that in the fall, once, once things are settled in, because after this, and we need to figure out like, um, Peter's like renovating now. Like there's so many things. And his friends are very, um, masculine and very like, okay, now we got to do this, and now we got to do this. And because you guys know we both have like our individual places. And yeah, so we just got to like merge, right? And none of us want to kind of get rid of our places. So like our next step is going to be, um, getting a place together. So there's like a ton of things to do. And what I love about Peter is that I didn't even know that was something he was already looking into. Like we already had the plan for that. But yesterday, when he came back from from work, he was like, um, you know, I spoke to blah blah blah. He's a really good friend of his. And, you know, this is the next step. And he's saying we should do this in September or October. And I was like, oh my God, like, cuz for me, I'm okay with the way things are. Um, I love my space, I love my condo. Like I don't need to be like in each other's face all the time, which, which is what this video is going to be about. But it is very nice that he's already thinking ahead, right?

So I wanted to talk to you guys a little bit about, um, scarcity in this video and why scarcity is so important with men. And if you guys have questions, like put it in. I'll look like in a little bit because you guys know I get distracted and I have ADD, right? So scarcity and absence is really, really important with men. And I'm talking about like quality men, like not those weird trolls that like will comment on my videos sometimes and be like, we don't like scarcity, we want you to message all the time. Like, no, no, no. I'm not talking about those men. Those are very insecure men and they have like nothing going on and they need a woman to like constantly stroke their ego. And yuck, like I would never be attracted to those men. And those are not the men that we're really attracted to, right? Um, a lot of you guys that are on my channel or any person's channel, I guess, like looking for dating advice, you're looking for dating advice for men that are a little bit unavailable, right? And this is why you guys always think, well, he's emotionally unavailable. No, he's not emotionally unavailable. It's just that if you're providing so much access to yourself and you're providing so much like certainty and reassurance, then naturally, um, one person kind of has to pull back and ends up being in the receiving mode, right?

So those are the men that we're usually attracted to. We're not necessarily attracted to the man that is sitting on his phone all day, has nothing going on, and is just messaging us all the time, and we know how available he is, right? And this isn't about like games, because again, like even in my own relationship, um, you know, Peter tells me he loves me every single day. He tells me I'm beautiful every single day. He always wants to be with me, always wants to see me, doesn't matter how busy he is. Like yesterday, I think he woke up at like five o'clock to work out, then he went to work, and then after that, he had another job. So, and he was going back to, he was at, he was doing his other job near his house. And I, I said to him, okay, babe, you're going, you're all the way, you're going all the way home. You don't have to come to the condo. And he said, babe, I'm obviously coming to the condo. Um, he brought us dinner, we watched a show, and he didn't even want to go to bed cuz he wanted to hang out. Um, and then we went to bed. And then this morning, he woke up again to work, right? He works a lot. So, um, it's not, I'm not advocating for games. And I'm not saying that a man is not going to want to be with you, right? Um, he's going to want to be with you, right? He's going to 100% want to be with you. But there's a whole, um, this whole thing where he also has like a lot going on and he's going to be busy, right? And the more secure you are as a woman. And so, you know, the attraction for men with me is that I'm not, I'm not needy. Like I'm not needy. I like, I'm not needy with friends. I'm not needy with anybody, to be honest with you. Um, especially men, because I just enjoy my alone time. And I, I, I've said to you guys on this channel quite a bit that, um, I'm not a party girl anymore. I'm 40, so it's not like I'm going out every single night and like, I'm a homebody. I love being home now. I have Mia, so I have Milo, I have Mia, I have my dogs. I love my shows. So it's, it's not that I'm even necessarily going out all the time, but I just love my own company. I love doing my own thing, right? And so I'm not bothered, um, when a man is busy, right? And so even my ex, who was a lawyer, just, they're, they're busy, right? And I'm attracted to that, cuz for me, I want a successful man. I want a man that has ambition. I want a man that's masculine. Like I don't want a man that just is sitting home all day and has nothing going on in his life and is chilling or relaxing like me, right? That's so unattractive to me. And so for me, the reason it works and why men are attracted to me is because, um, it's not that I'm showing off and going out all the time and looking for attention, but I'm completely okay being on my own.

So, an example of yesterday was rather than me desperately waiting. I think he got home almost at 8, maybe like literally he was working, right? Instead of me nagging him and complaining and saying, well, when are you coming home? And I can't believe you're working. And by the way, he's been working non-stop. Like he's non-stop working right now, right? Rather than me getting mad at him that he's working all the time, or complaining or saying, well, when are we coming, when are you coming home? And we only have an hour together, then we're going to bed and then you're waking up at 6 again the next day. And rather than complaining, I was the one that said, babe, don't come back to the condo. Like, you're literally going all the way home, which is 40 minutes away from the condo, then you're coming all the way back. Like, don't worry, like I'll just see you tomorrow. And so that gives him room to step in and like be the hero and like step in and say, no, F, like obviously I'm going to come see you, right? Because he wants to do that. But in me, even just saying that, it provides a level of like scarcity, right? Because I'm not, I'm not needy and like so attached to him being with me or not being with me. Like I'm happy regardless, right?

Um, with scarcity, why it's so important with high-quality men is that I always say to you guys, like high-quality men are desirable men and they like, they have options. Like, and this is just the truth, they have options. And they also want a woman that challenges them a little, a little bit. And so again, everything I'm saying, it could appear as it could appear that I'm saying things and it's like games, but it's not games. This is just attraction. Like there, this is literally just attraction and dynamics. And there's always going to be a pursuer and like a receiver in a relationship. And, you know, the relationships where none of that's happening, there's no attraction, there's no passion, there's no sex, and those relationships suck. So I'm talking about like passionate relationships. And like the underlying factor in that is like, um, attraction, right?

Um, so masculine men, like these type of men that we are like interested in, there's, there's going to be this aspect of like, they want a little bit of a challenge. And so the reason I focus so much on inner work and every single one of you should be purchasing my my products and my inner work for because everything I talk about in my books and in my course is so much deeper than my surface-level videos. And so, and they're so affordable, right? I could be charging you guys thousands and thousands of dollars for my products like other people do, and I don't. And the reason for that is because I want everyone to take personal responsibility for their own freaking life and to go a step further, right? And then the step further beyond that would actually be to do the work, right? Because so many of you will just passively watch videos and think that you're changing, but you're not, right? Knowledge is not, knowledge is cheap and knowledge doesn't change you. Repetition changes you. Awareness changes you. Consistency changes you, right? It's not information. In fact, information makes you less feminine. Information makes you more of a robot and it makes you heady. And and all that. This is why I'm saying like, you know, focus on like a few YouTubers that you really like and that have good energy and like a good vibe. Um, and don't focus so much on like watching every single video, every single person, especially if the vibe is not there. Because if the vibe is not there, you're not changing your subconscious programming and you're not changing your, like beingness, your own femininity. Because the, the right people, so whether it's a man or a woman, they're going to activate your own femininity, right? So a feminine woman is going to activate your own feminine energy. And a masculine man that's like a dating coach, let's say, is going to also invigorate something in you. Right? But if you follow women that are just like robotic, and this is like sometimes women will say to me, and these women are the, the worst and the most masculine. I'm just going to call you out right now when you guys, um, comment on like, when I say like, or right, or my hair, um, like it, it's really interesting when women do that because think about the mindset of someone that is doing that to someone on the internet that's helping you, right? So these women are not feminine because I just want to know, like I want you to know that, like a feminine woman would never do that. Um, feminine women are loving, kind, supportive, secure. They don't criticize someone else, right? They just don't. Um, but women that just stare at the camera and are just like robotic and just like speaking through a script, because I don't do that, it's obvious I don't do that. That's not a feminine woman. That, that's not feminine. So whenever you're focusing on like activating your own energy, make sure that you're are focused more on someone's vibe, right?

I stress inner work so much because with masculine energy men and with feminine women, this is not a game, it's a way of being, right? So when I say a way of being, what I mean is that I am not trying to control myself from messaging Peter, right? In fact, today he's working. By the way, this is all wedding stuff, but I just want to give you an example because all this stuff about like leaning back is so annoying as well. It's like so not true. Um, but let me just, oh, Peter just messaged. These are all of my messages. I don't know if you can even see it. Hold on, hold on. Can you guys see all this blue? This is me. This is Peter. Okay. And Peter's obsessed with me and loves me and is like crazy about me. But he's like, I, I'm not, oh my God, I just, I can't message Peter right now. He's working and he's gonna think I'm so freaking desperate if I message him. Like, this is all again, this is all strategies and all games. Peter and I message all the time. And sometimes I'm messaging him so much. In fact, I'll just show you guys, just so you guys know that all this [ __ ] that people talk about is not real. But even if you go up, let me just show. Can you guys see? I don't know if you can see. I don't know if you guys can see. This is all me, guys. Just so the blue is all me. Okay. This is all me. Okay. This is all me. All me. All me. All me. All me. Look at Peter. Peter's like so little. Okay. Does that mean that I, Peter's more, I'm more obsessed with Peter than Peter is with me? No, it means I'm a girl. I'm feminine. I'm planning a freaking wedding. I have a million details to keep him in the loop of about. That's all that. That's what it means. And Peter, and this is what I'm saying to you guys, when you guys have like, me men messaging you novels, the way that I did, that is not a masculine energy man, because masculine energy men don't sit on their phone messaging. They're working, right? Uh, they're not talkers, they're workers. They're action-oriented. So action-oriented means, um, even if a man is so busy and he lives away from you, he's going to do whatever he can to be with you and come home to you and like see you and make you happy and do whatever, whatever he can for you, right? He's going to leave money on the counter to make sure that you have money to do whatever you got to do because he's a provider. Like that's a man, right? So focusing on like these little things of like, don't message him and like lean back and like all this crap, it's not, it's not. This is not what attraction is like.

So when it comes to like the inner work and when it comes to like scarcity, when it like when it comes to the dynamic, when the inner work is in play, when it like, when you do the inner work, it's just natural. Meaning I'm not trying to control myself from seeing Peter or not seeing Peter. I'm not trying to control myself from messaging him or not messaging him. Um, when I want to message him and when I need to message him and I need to update him about something, I'll do it. I don't need to see him. I don't need to talk to him. I am comfortable and content regardless. Um, and we've had periods of separation in our relationship, and they were all initiated by me, okay? Just so you guys know, quality women are the ones that leave men. It's not men that leave women. I just want you guys to know this, okay? Because again, I, I don't need it. I'm not desperate, right? So when it comes to scarcity, all of this is programmed in me. Meaning if I'm not getting the treatment that I want from Peter, or let's just say anybody, rather than being a nag and like messaging them for more attention, like the way that you want to do it is you want to pull back. So what will happen with most of you guys is because you guys don't do the inner work, right? And I hate to say it, but it's truth, you don't do the inner work. You don't look at yourself. You don't ask yourself, why am I interested in someone that is so unavailable and not giving me love? Right? That's the question you should be asking yourself. Why am I into this guy that is ghosting me? Why am I into this guy that's not messaging me back? Why am I into the guy that's not giving me a commitment? What I had a woman do an email session with me the other day, she was in an eight, she wanted advice on how to communicate with a man that has not seen her in eight [ __ ] years. Eight years, okay? And eight years, and she's in her 30s. And I just want you to know, and I love her, by the way, if she's on here, like you're super sweet and I like love you, but sometimes you guys need to hear tough love. And I'm just going to give it to you because I'm not here for you guys to like me. I'm here to tell you guys the truth. Truth. Eight years is insane. And a guy, and this is what I'm saying, this guy is feminine because a man does not want to sit and message on and be on FaceTime or whatever, whatever it is, communication for eight years, okay? Let alone a month. Like men want to see you. So rather than focusing on the strategies on how do I communicate better to get this guy to see me or to get this guy to will give me a commitment, the question you should be asking yourself is, why am I even interested in a guy that does not even care to make the effort to come see me? These are the questions you guys, you guys got to ask yourself. But because you guys haven't done your own inner work, you're coming from a very insecure, codependent place. And so you're attaching on to these men that seem unavailable, right? And it stems from the inside because the, the way that you want to handle yourself is if a man is not giving you what you want, you want to become scarce. So in this situation, rather than thinking about, well, how can I communicate more effectively to get this guy to be into me? And how do I communicate more femininely? And by the way, feminine communication isn't isn't inauthenticity. It, it isn't sitting here going, so I would really just like a commitment from you and like talking like this and like being all fake. I hate that [ __ ]. That's not feminine, right? Feminine is a woman that is secure, talks like is authentic, and is able to be like, take a hike. Like I'm not interested, right? I think I told her to tell the guy, um, look, it's been nice chatting with you. It's been eight years. I want to move on with my life. If anything ever changes in the future, you know, definitely reach out to me to book a, like to book a time to see me. But beyond that, like I really need to move forward with my life. Any, with my life at this point. Um, I've invested too much time and it doesn't look that it doesn't look like that's something that you're interested in because it would have happened already. And, you know, please don't contact me if you're not willing to like schedule a time to meet with me. Um, and that's it. Like, that's the way you would handle that situation. Like you don't need to talk softer. And in fact, the more that you try to, and this is why I say modeling is so important because men are not attracted to women that are fake. And men are not attracted to women that are in auth. I'm talking about quality men. They're not attracted to women that are like trying to be something other than themselves to get the validation of other people. They're not attracted to women that pretend to be soft when they're not. In fact, that's really controlling and that's really manipulative and that's not attractive. And men are actually attracted to women that are strong. And so hopefully, what you sense in me is that yes, there's a feminine component, but I'm strong. Like I don't take [ __ ] from anyone. And I don't really care about what anyone thinks of me, right? Like I, I really could care less what anyone thinks of me. It's more of, it's more of a, um, what people think of you is more of a reflection of themselves versus yourself, right? And I don't, I don't, I don't care, right? People can have their own opinion of me and that's completely fine. I think to share your opinion of someone that you've never met is odd. And if you want to do that, you can do that, but it doesn't affect me. And so men are attracted to that. Men are, men are attracted to that. And in fact, when a man is being a jerk and you are so focused with how you're going to communicate to him about the fact that he's being a jerk, it actually turns him off more because he knows he's being a jerk. And this is, this is like so important. I want you guys to know this, that men know when they're being a jerk. They know. And so when you don't become scarce, when a man is being a jerk, subconsciously he thinks to himself, why is she not distancing herself from me? Because men understand consequences. They don't understand words. You guys, men don't get words, okay? They, they don't process words, okay? They process action and feeling, right? What feeling are you giving a man? They don't understand words, right? In fact, the less you say with men, the better, right? When they're, when they do something and it's like crossing a boundary or it doesn't make you feel good, and they know in their mind, they know because men are not idiots, guys. Men are not idiots. They know. And you respond in a way that like contradicts the way that they would respond. Yeah, let's put it that way. You respond in a way that is contrary to the way he would respond if the same thing was done to him, right? Subconsciously, what happens is he starts to think to himself, or he starts to feel within himself, because, you know, when, when we're coming into the subconscious mind, it's all about feeling. It's not about thinking. Like, like he starts to feel ick towards the woman because it doesn't feel right. Something feels wrong. It feels off, right? And so he'll, um, like he will naturally then move away from you because unconsciously he knows that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't behave that way. So why is this woman behaving that way? She must not feel good about herself. And I'm not going to be with a woman that doesn't feel good about herself. I want to be with a woman that's the prize. Like I want to be with a woman that is so attractive, so desirable, knows her, and by the way, this is all about vibe. This is the vibe, okay? This is not about looks. This is the vibe, okay? Um, I want to be with a woman that just, any man looks at her, women want to be like her, women get jealous of her, women are triggered by her, men want to be with her, and she's just a nice, kind person. She knows her worth and she is the prize. I want to be with the woman that I feel like I've hit the lottery, right? Not a woman that is like bending over backwards to please me and will let me get away with whatever I want. That's first of all, boring and super, super, super, super freaking unattractive.

So when a man is not behaving well, or, um, you want some sort of commitment, you want, you know, you want something from him and you're not getting it, the way to go about it is absence. It's scarcity. And it is what it is. I always say this, and even into marriage. And this is why I always say to you guys, I really don't care what the general population thinks about anything. I do what I want to do. So even for me, in terms of marriage, and like the reason that I've, I, the reason it took me so long to decide to be married is not because I couldn't be married, right? Uh, my ex was a lawyer, before that, there were doctors wanting to marry me. Like for me, it's not about marriage because that's yay, like so many people are married and they're miserable, right? To me, it's about, is this the person I can, okay, so this is how quality women think. Is this the person that I can spend the rest of my life with? That I am crazy attracted to? That when we're together, it's just right, right? So when you see Peter and I together, even if you guys get the books, you can see what Peter wrote about me. It fits, like it just, there's a, a, a magnetism between both of us, right? I was looking for that. That's what I was looking for. And then even into our relationship, because we, we encountered a lot of struggles in our relationship, and it wasn't because of the attraction, it wasn't because of the love, it wasn't because of that. It was because of external things that had happened in the relationship. And because we all have programming, right? Men have programming, men have experiences, men have been conditioned a certain way. Um, but that also caused a reaction in me. And so, and this is what we'll do like a paid master class on, um, for those of you guys that are interested, and we'll go deeper into that and how to handle that. Because Peter had fears, there were so many things that happened, which is normal. Um, but the way in which I addressed everything is what made him like feel more and more grounded and that I was the one, right? Because again, I am not here just to be married, right? I don't care. Because sometimes people will say, well, I'm a YouTuber and I'm married, but they don't like their husbands, or their husbands are feminine. Like that's not my thing. Like I want to be married, not for you guys, no offense. I want to be married because I want to be a wife and I want to be a wife to a man that I respect and handles himself a certain way, is strong in certain ways, and I can see is there. And it's all about me. I don't want to. And that, and again, I, I talked about this in the books, it takes time. Like you're not going to know how masculine a man is and how strong a man is if you don't test him, right? I've put Peter through so many freaking tests, it's not even funny, right? And in "See What Men Want," I talk about tests, right? And by the way, this is all unconscious. You're not sitting there thinking, oh, I'm going to test this guy, I'm going to like play a game. It just happens unconsciously, right? And masculine men want that. They want that. They want to be challenged by a woman because they're not used to that. They're used to women putting them on a pedestal. They're used to women that will give their bodies away to them. They're used to women that pine over them. And, and my fian, like Peter is the same way, like he's used to the same thing, right? He was used to, he wasn't used to a woman being as hard to as me. And in fact, there were moments in our relationship where we would get into like a fight or something, and he would say, this is so hard being with you. It's the hardest relationship ever. I've invested so much money into you. And I was like, good. That's how it should be. It's not my fault you were with women that just, you know, you didn't have to do anything with and they just gave you everything. That's not F. And so in his moments of like being dumb, right? Because all men are going to be that way sometimes, he would say these things. And it was really interesting to me because those, those women that were easy to get, where are they? Peter dumped them. Peter left them. He left every single woman he was with. But with fine, he's constantly trying to make her happy. He wants to do everything for her. And it's never, ever, I never have to worry about. Even into our relationship, even into marriage, and this is, this is why I say to women, marriage is a trap, right? Because if you go and you get married to someone and his drive is not high to make you happy, well, the cha, it's not even about the chase, but like he has you. Like you're there. So unless you know how to activate a man's like desire for you, you're kind of stuck, right? And this is when women will get into the position where they will start to like be overly available for men. So instead of moving toward a man, um, a guy, you know, being desperate for the guy all the time, put the focus on you. Focus on you. Focus on like what makes you the most attractive and like desirable. You invest in yourself. Like literally invest in yourself. Like the most amount of return you'll ever get in life is when you invest in yourself. And invest in yourself with people that you want to be like, right? Don't just invest in yourself in like, you know, whatever program is out there. Like invest in yourself with people that you want to be like and you want to learn from. Because the greatest, like the greatest asset you have is yourself. It's not the strategy. It's yourself.

Okay, guys, let me just see some of these comments. Oh, um, currently working through, so Whitney, currently working through F inner work course and it's truly incredible. Cannot recommend it enough. Oh, thanks, Whitney. Um, why am I into him who mocks me when I'm crying and I'm in distress? Um, I don't know what that means. But, um, oh, the audio is so bad. You guys, is the audio bad? Let me know if the audio is bad because I have my mic, my micro, my microphone on. But anyways, my boyfriend is amazing. Short on text. Good. Sarah. And doesn't seem mean anything negative. No, no, no. Um, when a man is short on text, it doesn't mean that he's like trying to be mean or anything. He's probably just busy, right? And like men, men are not going to sit there and text. They don't want to text. And also men, men are not going to be on the phone all the time. Like men, real men are in the in the moment. Um, they, they want to be with you. They want to experience a woman, right? They don't want to have a pen pal. So that's like a red flag.

Okay, so some of you guys are saying that the sound is bad. So that's not good. Is my sound bad, guys? Um, hi F. I'm, I'm 19 and you have taught me so much. Um, um, what would be your best dating advice for a young girl like me? My best dating advice would be, take things slow. You're young. Have fun. Don't move into commitment. And learn as much as you can about yourself and why you do what you do. Awareness, awareness is huge, right? Um, have, develop really strong beliefs. In my inner work course, I talk about the three core beliefs that if you do not have these core beliefs, nothing in life will come to you. And, um, sit back and relax with men because you're the prize. Men want to be with you. And that's how it should be. Um, your insight is so valuable and speaks so much to me. And I'm in a relationship and I find your advice so helpful. Thank you. All, thank you so much, Hannah. Um, okay, no sound is good. I hear you fine. Thanks. Yeah, some people are just complainers all the time. But anyways, your audio is crackly. Okay, good to know. Thanks for that input, you guys, because, um, I have updated certain things about my audio and things. I'll, I'll figure it out at some point.

Hi friend, can a man express that he likes initiative from the woman too? Thank you for all the work you do. I look, a man can express that. I would not be attracted to that, right? Um, and this is kind of just what I want you guys to think about. Like that's complaining. Like I don't know, complaining to me is so low value. It's just low value to complain, right? And men don't complain. So as an, women complain, right? So as an example, I'm exhausted. My period hasn't come and I'm doing all this wedding planning, right? So I was complaining yesterday to Peter and my friends, right? Like I'm so just like, what I just said to you guys, right? Peter was up from 5 o'clock working, then he had another job, then he's driving, he's doing all this stuff. He never complains, ever. He never, ever complains. So, um, and by the way, he's the one that always comes to the condo. He's the one that always comes to me. I never go to him. Um, you know, I will cook, but he will do a lot of the cooking as well because he's good with that. No complaints ever. Men don't complain. And men don't want a woman that takes the initiative. Men want to be with a woman that feels good to be around, that doesn't [ __ ] complain, is not jealous, and like, um, feels good to be around, right? Her energy feels good to be around. She's light, she's fun. That's what men want. Um, if, if a woman presents herself like that, a man is never going to complain about like a woman initiating. And in fact, a man that says that he wants a woman to initiate is not a quality man. I'm just going to say that to you because any quality man that's watching this, probably all the male dating coaches that you guys watch will tell you that they want to initiate. They want to be the pursuer because that's a man's job. It's not our job to initiate.

What do you think about a man that asks you for hand in marriage? It's only been eight days. It's 100% dangerous to do that because again, I just want you guys to go back and think about. I'm moving my hair because I think sometimes that when my hair comes on the mic, it makes it, it makes it crackly. Um, a quality man is never going to ask a woman to get married in eight days. Again, men have options, right? Um, I think even in the books, like so, like a man always knows when he's met his wife. Like, like Peter also knew within the first date, there was something different about me. And he knew very early on that I was like the one. He never communicated that to me. And he, and I were both dating initially, like other people. But he and I didn't know this, but he told me this later that he, when he realized that like I was it for him or that there was something different about me, he started to just focus on me, right? But he didn't tell me that because there, it takes, again, and I just want you guys to understand this, like from, um, again, like inner work and like from high self-esteem, how can you know someone in eight days? You don't know someone in eight days, right? And so even men, when I was dating after my ex and I had ended things, and I was dating, um, and I met really quality men, if, if they became too excited about me, like after meeting me or just like speaking to me on a dating app, I would unmatch them and stop seeing them right away. And the reason for that is because to me, you don't know me. Like even if, like I'm a catch, right? Even if I'm all these things that you would want, you don't know me. Like you don't know how I function. You don't know me. Like it, it takes a period of time to get to know someone's values, right? It takes time. And so for me, when someone is like coming on strong like that, it's a red flag because it shows that they don't have, that they are not confident in themselves. And in the book, in "What Men Want," I talk about the way it should be and what masculine men are looking for and how they take things slow. Now, I want you guys to understand that Peter proposed in like six to seven months, but that was not something that he was expecting to do. And I took things very slow. So I want you guys to understand that I always talk about slow as fast. Like I was not physical with him. I was not anything like that with him for months and months. So we really had a chance to get to know each other without all of that other stuff. And we continued to date other people. And it was in that period of time where that's when a man starts to realize, like, wow, she's not sleeping with me. Wow, she's not desperate. Wow, she's not chasing me. Wow, she's so different from every other woman. Oh my God, like she's not all obsessed with me. She has value. Look at her values. Look at her morals. Look at her character. And, um, that's the woman that, that, that's the one. Like she's the one. And the reason, and a man will lock it down within that time frame, it should be within a year, is because he knows that if he doesn't, she is going to find someone else. And I will, I would, right? Um, I'm not going to waste my time. But this is the mindset of a woman, like the type of woman a man wants, right? And the reason they will lock it down and they will move into commitment at that point is because they know if I don't do it, someone else is going to get to her. And just so you guys know, my mindset is always, I will leave. Always. I don't care if I'm married to you. I don't care if I'm engaged to you. I don't care, like if I am not treated a certain way, I will leave, right? Even into marriage. But again, it's not coming from an entitled place. It's coming from a point of I.

Know that I'm a good woman. I'm so loyal. I have my, I have Peter's back, no matter what. I'm ride or die. I, I'm not annoying. I have my own things going on. I'm fun to be with. I'm not a nag. I never get mad. I'm never triggered. Like, there's so much good there that if I don't get that, and I, I'm so respectful. There's like, um, I give him space. I never complain. Like, there's so much that he gets in a relationship with me. All of his needs are met.

So, if all of his needs are met and my needs are not met, and I've communicated, and I communicate certain things, or let's say I get treated poorly, or let's say I get treated in a way that doesn't make me feel good, I will leave. I'm not going to just stay in a relationship because I'm married or I'm engaged. Like, those conditions, being engaged and being married, will make me work harder at it. Meaning, I won't just get up and leave, right? I'll work at it. But if I don't have a ring on my finger and I'm not married to you, I'm not gonna, if you're a jerk or if you like, I'm just gonna leave. Like, I'm gonna leave. There's no trying, right?

The reason that I stayed in our relationship, even though after we got engaged, a lot of things happened, and I'll get into that privately with you guys for those of you guys that want to like take it to another level, um, is because I had the ring on my finger. If I didn't have the ring on my finger, a lot of the, a lot of the things that would have that took place, I wouldn't have been willing to work, work through it, and that's just the truth of it. So, but even with the ring on the finger, there were moments where I took space because I wasn't, I, I was not going to like tolerate certain things.

So, eight days is extremely scary. That person is not a quality man because a quality man, and any man will tell you this, even if they know that it's, it's the one, they're still going to wait a period of time to make sure that their feeling and their intuition is correct. And again, men are logical. So, even if their heart tells them something, they're still wired logically. So, they're still going to take a period of time to assess that their intuition and their feeling is like accurate.

[Music]

Um, so Joanna, yeah, I think you hit, I think you're the best on the intern. Oh, thank you. Feminine women, it lit my spirit up. And I miss him, but I need to treat him with absence. Is it's been a week when I, when I block him from acting ignoring me as mind games. Okay, so good for you for taking space, but don't block. So, I want you guys to think about one thing. The person that has the most emotional investment, and you show your emotional investment by blocking, um, you, you're one down, right? Because you're showing him like, so what he's thinking is, he's thinking, oh my God, like, she blocked me, she cares about me so much. And you're, you're boosting his ego. So, unblock, unblock him. Um, don't ever, ever block a guy, okay? It's different if you, um, like, it's different at a certain level, like if you know the guy's really crazy about you and you do those things in the heat of the moment. But you guys always want to think about having emotional control because the person that has the most like emotions in the relationship and is displaying it, is has more like, has less control in the relationship. And like, you don't want to give a man so much control over you like that because when you give so much control over yourself to a man like that, he automatically puts you beneath him and the attraction goes away for him. I hope that makes sense.

[Music]

Um, okay, I'm just seeing if there's anything else. I guess I'm just not used to my man saying that they love me without intimacy first. When it happens, it was like, is this in my head? Is this normal? Um, and also the other thing I want to let you guys know is like, if a man is saying things to you, um, like, and there's intimacy involved, remember, a man will say whatever he has to say to get, get you like inside you. Like, I don't know how to say this without being vulgar. So, like, again, like that's why I say the slower, like, let a man reveal his cards. Meaning, the slower you take it with a man. And if a man, again, I get into this in the book as well, but if a man is really, really interested in you, even if he's going to want that from you, that's not going to be the first focus in his mind. The first focus in his mind is going to be just to be with you, be in your energy, right? I always talk about energy, vibe, right? Um, those of you guys that are interested in me, it's not even that you guys are interested in my content, like, it's probably the vibe, it's the energy you want to be around me, right? That's how men feel, right? So, if a man is just pushing for sex, it's because, because he's not feeling good in your energy. And sometimes men will say whatever they have to say to get that, right? That's why you want to have your own personal boundaries and you want to communicate to a man that, um, I'm just not like, I like to take things slow. And a man's reaction to that is going to tell you everything about his, his true interest for you, okay?

Okay, just going to see if there's any other questions and then I'm going to be, I think the, the, the is too close. Oh, okay. Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I will do my best to fix that. I came on last minute. I didn't plan this, guys. Um, women chase from fear, 100%. Women chase from fear and women chase because we all have abandonment issues. All of us, including men. Um, like the biggest fear that all people have is like the fear of being alone and fear of death. And we have this fear because as a child, we're so helpless and we're so reliant on someone. And if our parents didn't teach us how to feel confident and secure within ourselves, which most of us didn't learn that, um, we're always going to have this like sense of being left, right? So, men have this and women have this. It's like, it's, it's completely normal. But this is why I always say that like inner work is so important and awareness is so important. In my channel, I'm more focused on you guys gaining awareness, even if it means triggering you guys and you don't like me, because without awareness, how are you going to know why you're doing what you're doing? Strategies don't really matter, right? He's looking to move in. Um, okay, guys, when a man is saying I love you too quickly, an issue. What if you have not been intimate, but still confessing his feelings? Is that unusual? Or is it unusual for a guy that is, or is it unusual for a guy that is looking for commitment? Um, it depends on how long it's been for. It depends on how long it will be. Um, men don't usually communicate like, I like to be honest with you guys, like Peter didn't say I love you first. I did. He was apparently feeling it sooner than I was. Um, but that took months, just so you guys know. And the reason that I felt it, I think Mia wants to be let out. Um, the reason that I felt it when I felt it was because Peter passed so many tests. And by that point, was just like, I knew, right? And it felt safe for me to say it to him. And of course, he felt the same thing. It's just he never wanted to say it to me because he never wanted, because I was always the slower one. So he wanted to give me my own time to like get there, right? And this is how it's going to be with masculine men. And the reason that you guys always have a hard time with these men is because it's counterintuitive to what you think it is, right? Like you think it's going to be fast, you think you think it's going to be aggressive, like you think it's going to be all these things. And this is what it is with masculine energy. And it isn't. Masculine energy is they're safe, they are slow, they are supportive, um, they're very laid-back, they're very chill. Um, it's not fast. So anytime anyone wants to do things fast, right? There's always like that to me, that's a red flag.

Okay, guys, um, thank you for all of your comments with respect to the audio. I will look into that for sure. Okay, I just want to see if there was anything else. Okay, guys, um, everything's energy. Time and distance don't matter, I guess. And I guess everyone is different. As everything is energy. Yeah. Okay, guys, I love you guys and I will see you. Um, I was going to do a video for you guys to be released tomorrow, but, um, we're going to be doing a lot of wedding stuff tomorrow. So I just wanted to come in, um, to do the live today. So I will speak with you guys, um, soon.

Okay, um, oh, thanks Christina. I have watched all of your content and read your books and I've completed your inner work course and still learn more and more from you every time you post. Thank you so much for everything you teach. Oh, I love that. Thank you so much.

Um, how about distance? Uh, one more. Let me just see what Bianca means by distance. What do, what do you mean? What do you mean, how about distance? I just want you guys to like always keep in mind that, um, distance and absence and space and scarcity is always the way to go with men, always. And if they complain about it, they're babies. And like, that's not the man you want, right? Long distance relationship. Um, what do you mean? What about the long distance relationship? I personally am not into long distance relationships because you can't build a true connection with someone unless you're together, right? And so unless this guy is like making attempts to see you. We, we fell in love just by speaking on the phone. Yeah, like, I, I have to, I know this is going to be hurtful, Bianca, and I don't want to say this to you, but men don't fall in love that way. They don't. They don't fall in love just through words. We fall in love through words, right? We, when you guys are like, you love me and all these things, like I love that, right? Like that motivates me. And I like it when Peter says nice things to me. I love that. Men don't fall in love that way. Men fall in love when, when in terms of like how they feel. And they, they don't know how they feel unless they're around you and like the feelings are activating you. So a man is not going to just sit on the phone and like fall in love with you. And I just want to give you guys a prime example so you guys know. I love my reality TV. And so I've been watching, um, inmate, no, what I've been watching, Love After Lockdown or Love in Lockdown or something like that. And it's so interesting. The show. I was watching this yesterday, um, where these women will start to communicate with inmates, right? And like, they do all these things for the, for the inmates, right? Like they are there, they're like ride or die. Like they send them money. And, um, the inmates will like write them letters and like tell them, tell the women everything that a woman would want to hear. And these women like fall for it. And they give them money, they do all these things. And then the guy gets released. And by the way, even before being released, the guy is talking to all these other women. And the guy gets released. And the women that do the most for these men, the guy just like makes an excuse and he goes. And he's like, I don't know. If you're, one of the guys was like, this woman went and did like a, a what's it called, a boudoir, you know, like, um, a lingerie, uh, photo shoot for him. She would, uh, sex him all the time. She was going to move locations for him. And just so you guys know, when you're in prison, and these women are communicating with these men, all the guards see all the communication. So her naked pictures are going to everyone, not just like the inmate, right? And, um, he got out, didn't even contact her. And on the last episode, he said, I don't know, he made an excuse and said, saw he saw something on her social media about a guy like messaging her or something, like a guy was saying he wanted to like see her. It was just a stupid comment, right? You know, there's always stupid comments. And apparently that made the guy not want to contact her. And she was like, I've done so much for you. And just because you see a stupid comment, you didn't want to contact me, which by the way, was an excuse. And then he went on to say, I, I didn't contact you because I just didn't think that you were good enough for me. And maybe I could do better for, better than you. And this is a woman, and she was freaking out. And all these women, there was another woman that spent $20,000 on this guy and spending all of her time, right? These guys are chilling in jail. And these women are like sending them money, communicating with them all the time, not going out, doing everything. And then the guy gets out and the guy is like, me, whatever, right? Because again, even, and these guys are shitty men, obviously you're shitty if you're in jail, like that's not a quality man. And they're the ones sitting there and saying to the women that did everything for them, that quote unquote, ride or die, I don't know if like, I'm interested in you anymore. So this is why I just want you guys to know, men don't fall in love like that. Men fall in love with a challenge, with scarcity, with absence, with your vibe, with like high self worth, like everything I talk about in my channel. And like the less you do for a man, and the more you think about yourself, the further you'll get with men. And I also want you guys to think about every single time you've put all of your cards on the, like, the woman that I did the email question with, by the way, if you're on here, I love you and this is for your own, your own good. You've spent eight years doing everything for this guy. You've spent eight years talking to this guy, right? Where's the commitment? And in the email, she said that last, last year, he, he got mad at her because he thought that they were in a relationship, but she didn't. And so he used that to manipulate her. And he said, oh, well, you hurt my feelings because last year for two months, I thought we were in a relationship and you said we weren't. And now he's using that as an excuse not to be with her. What the hell? That's [ __ ] okay? Like he's manipulating. So I just want you guys to see, you waste your time, you waste eight years, you're crying, dying, paying me to give you advice, okay? You're putting all your resources into this guy. And eight years, what have you gotten? Nothing. So don't give your heart out to someone that hasn't earned it yet. It's not safe for you to do that. Uh, yeah, wait till he's out, maybe.

[Music]

Um, okay, guys, I will speak to you guys again. Yes, it's distracting and I love you guys and I hope this was helpful. Thank you guys for all the likes and for all the comments. Whenever you guys are, you know, giving me love, it gives me encouragement also to come on here because that's like exciting for me. And I obviously love the reciprocation. Like, should always just be like reciprocal. Relationships should always be reciprocal. And just so you guys know, even with the law of attraction, like don't be takers. Like also give back. Like don't just like give back. So I'm not only talking about myself, but I'm talking about anyone that spends time coming on YouTube or helping. Also give them love back. Like don't be a taker, right? Um, and, and that's not even for the content creator, that's for your own life because you get, you know, like the law of attraction is like attracts like, right? So be the embodiment of what you want to receive back. Be the embodiment of love. Um, be the embodiment of that and practice that in your own life. Um, not just to me, but to everybody, right? Anyone that makes a difference in your life or helps you or spends time or gives you their energy, give them that energy back. Like let them know, right? Um, I, for one, appreciate it so much. And I will see you guys again soon. Okay, love you. Bye.