Mission to Millions 2025 - Session 3 - January

Preparing for takeoff in 3, 2, 1. Your mission: everything you thought it could be. Despite the obvious, beyond no limit because you were born for this. A visionary's journey, once. Once upon a time, there was you.

Hello, gorgeous people of Mission to Millions. I have some contemplative thoughts for us this morning. I want us to have some real thinking together as a group before we lead into what I really believe could be one of the most powerful conversations of the rest of our lives. So, what I would love to ask is, when we look at this animation and we look at the ending, and this little kid walking in a little space suit, and it's like, "Once upon a time, there was you." What the energetics of this really mean? It's my sparkling water and a shampoo champagne flute vibes for our call because the vibe of today.

Um, when you think about how historically parents have raised their kids, there's different styles, different parenting styles, and there's different ways to look at it based on different cultures, different outcomes. And so, do you feel that you were raised in a culture, either a family culture, either a, um, like something generational from that went through your entire family lineage, or was it something more like in your community, or in your country, or based on a certain belief system? But do you feel, particularly, that you were raised with pressure to succeed, pressure to do well, or not?

So, did your family apply pressure to succeed? Pressure to do well, to get good grades, pressure to behave well, pressure to, um, get a job earlier, a good job, or to do better? Or, okay, so when we're look to make a lot of money, or to be successful, or any of any of those things, to be athletic, to be something? Okay. So, we're going to start this from being parented, and we're going to go from there. And I'm going to ask the different groups different questions. So, this is going to be interesting because I want you to pay attention to what I'm asking, and I also want us to look at the outcomes and what happens to people, and we're going to have a discussion.

So, for those of you who did have pressure, did you feel that in the moment when it was happening, did you feel that this was good, or did you wish that there wasn't pressure? So, when you were growing up, and your parents were like, "You know, you've got to learn to do this, you've got to be better at this, you've got to work hard." When they were putting the pressure on, did you like it? Were you like, "Thank goodness I have pressure?" Or did...

Okay, so I felt punished. I wish there wasn't any. Um, I wish there wasn't. I wish there was no pressure. It made me feel like I was not enough. It felt scary. I wish it could have been different. I wish there wasn't. It depended. It put me on autopilot. It was stressful. I didn't like it. I wish I was loved for who I was. Um, it was okay. It was my reality. It felt good. Pressure. I didn't like it. It was okay. I wish there was no pressure. I don't think I realized it at the time. I wish there wasn't. I didn't know any different. Felt good. It was stressful. It was too much pressure, and it led me to then pressure myself there.

So, and we're going to start with only the people who had pressure. It was painful. The more I felt that, they actually didn't care. I wished that they would. Okay. No. So, pressure, pressure felt good. Made me feel stronger. It felt good. Felt like I was capable. Both. I was afraid. It felt wrong.

So, we're seeing a lot of duality here, right? Um, I liked the pressure, but also I wanted to be celebrated. It felt amazing to meet their expectations. Um, I thought that's how life was. My nervous system was very activated. Made me feel like I was never enough.

So, we have some split. A lot of people say it was stressful. They didn't like it, and they felt like they wish they could just be themselves. But there are also people who said, "I liked it." Okay.

So, who here had pressure, and you really felt, or you feel now, not before, but now you realize, "Thank goodness there was pressure." Although I didn't like it, I am so grateful that there was pressure. Does anyone feel that? "I didn't like it, but you know what? I am so grateful there was pressure."

Okay. So, I, I do. Yes. Grateful. Yes. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Me. Totally. Yes. It helped me be successful. Me. Me. Me. Hm. To an extent. Yes. Yes. Yes. Me. Blessed. At times I didn't like it, but I'm grateful 'cause it shaped me. Yes. I, I get it now. Sometimes. No. I am to some extent. Yes. But the abusive parts. No. No. No. It increased my capacity. Not that kind of pressure. Yes. Yes. It made me stronger. Yes, it made me do more. No, not grateful. I didn't like the way it was communicated, but I'm grateful for it. A little bit of both. Um, okay. So, we've got some again, we've got some duality.

So, now we're going to move to the other group of people. So, for you, for example, there was no pressure. So, if you had growing up, no pressure, did you ever contemplate the fact that there was no pressure? Did you ever either wish there was pressure, or notice that there wasn't, or did you just feel good? We're just going to go with that.

So, for those of you that had no pressure, um, I created my own pressure. I wished I had more guidance. I loved that there was no pressure. I didn't really realize it. I ended up putting pressure on myself. I created my own pressure. I wish there had been more discipline. It was good then, but not so much now.

So, let's keep to the past. Back then, when you were think about growing up, and there was no pressure, did you wish there was, or did you feel like, "I love my freaking life," or did you not even think about it? Um, I wanted more encouragement to aim for something. I wish there was more opportunity to get better. Sometimes it felt like no one believed I could do something. It felt good, but I felt lost in the world. There were standards, but not pressure. It's hard to remember. I felt grateful that there weren't any. I wish that there was sometimes more guidance. I wish that there was pressure to guide me so I didn't imagine what pressure I should have and create a misguided way for myself. Um, so my parents were kids. Um, I wish there was more pressure. I wish there was more pressure. No, but I wish there was more guidance. I loved it at the time, but also I created my own pressure to keep my grades up, to work. Uh, it was good to self-source the pressure. Uh, searching from for pressure everywhere. I wanted positive encouragement. My parents really encouraged freedom and they trusted us, and it felt very good. I wondered why my parents didn't push me, but I pushed myself. I created my own pressure. I loved my life. I didn't think about it. I loved it because it helped me connect with what I wanted to do and my soul's calling. I wished I wish now emotional regulation at the time. There was no guidance but pressure to be perfect. It was confusing. Um, so I thrived in excelling. The pressure came from me.

So, what I'm seeing here, which is interesting, is that for those of you that didn't have pressure, you either were like, "Well, if you're not going to give me pressure, I'm going to put it on myself." Or you were like, "Maybe people don't really believe in me if they're not putting pressure on me." Like, "I wish there was more 'you can do it' energy." And also, some people really enjoyed it. But that's actually the rarer answer.

So, for those of you who had no pressure growing up, now that you're more grown up, are you like, "They nailed it. That was the way to do it." Or is there a feeling where you're like, "I do wish there had been a little bit more, actually, now that you're grown up." When you look back, do you say, "They nailed it," or do you say, "No, actually, I think I wish there would have been a little bit more?"

I wish there would have been more. I definitely wish there would have been more. I wish, uh, no pressure. I wish there had been more guidance. I wish there had been more. I wish there had been more. I wish there had been more. I wish I was pressured to play the piano. I wish I had had the pressure. I feel my parents nailed it. I wish there was more. I wish there was more. They nailed it. I wish there was more. I wish there had been more. Good. Because I can self-source now. I think they got it right. I wish there was more pressure, more structure. I wish there had been more. I see it helped me become who I am. Not more pressure in an unhealthy way, but more pressure like, "You can do it." Um, I would have hated it. I know that if there would have been more more pressure because it felt like they didn't care. They, they nailed it. Maybe more guidance. For me, it felt, for me, there's a difference between pressure and encouragement and support. I'm so glad that I wasn't pressured, but I would have loved more encouragement and support. There's zero guidance, but forced me to connect with my own. I wish the pressure was a little more gentle, but right now, just for the people who had the who had no pressure, I wish they would have seen me, cared, and showed that they loved me. The more guidance and focus on discipline in the areas that already excelled in. I wished for more everything: love, support, encouragement, interest. Um, ah, so we're all messed up. I wish there had been more epic role models. Um, passion or pressure was also like, "I believe in you," communicated.

So, what are you, whoever you are now, however you were brought up, whether you had pressure or no pressure, whether you liked it, whether you didn't like it, whatever it was, what are you realizing from these interactions? What's coming up for you in reading all of this? It's a mixed bag. It's never good enough. Maybe the pressure is good. I mean, not for everyone, 'cause some people said they had it and they didn't love it, and some people said they didn't get it and they loved it. But pressure can be good. There's no one good way. Some is good. We're never happy. The right kind of pressure is good. Nothing's perfect. I'm thinking about how I parent. Life is a circus. Everyone has something. You need to do it for yourself. I'm feeling grateful. We're all so similar. We all perceive things in a unique way. Everyone wants what they can't have. It's what we make of it. What we do from it now is what matters most. Not, not one really had their desired start. Well, some people did, but it was a more rare group. We experienced a lot of the same things, no matter what happened. Um, it could always be used both ways. Different strokes for different folks. There's no perfect household. Sometimes the middle road is good. We want what we don't have. Uh, it reminds me of a pressure versus stress distinction. That there's no way that our parents could have, bless their cotton socks. That our perceptions define our reality. We find our own way anyway. It depends if it's from love or judgment. It's all good. It's all in the way you handle it.

So, I'm seeing a lot of wisdom when we're looking back in hindsight, and we're looking at how we've all lived, and how everyone is responding. What we're seeing is like, everyone has different experiences, even of what they have. So, as a parent, you could choose to give your kids full no pressure and be like, "You choose. If you don't want, you don't. It's whatever you want. Who am I to say?" Or it could be like, "I want this. I want what's good for you. I don't want you to regret later on, and I want you to do this," and so I'm putting pressure on you. It could, it's like, there's the feeling that you don't care if you don't put pressure. There's a feeling that you don't care if you put too much pressure. It's like, "You don't love me as a person unless I succeed," or "You don't actually care unless you don't care because, or else if you did, you'd believe in me more." And it's all about us, really. How we respond, how we react, what we would, what we would need.

And here's another real epic contemplation to think about. Let's just imagine, because this happens, that there's multiple children in your household, sometimes all the kids. So, okay, let me ask this question. Who here has siblings, and all of you have a very similar way to describe your parents? All the siblings would all say, "Yeah, that's the way we were all raised." And you would all say, "It's the same." So, if it was all the same, well, it doesn't matter. It's a mixed bag anyway. Yes or no? Were you all the same or not?

So, now look at this. So, same parents parent three children, two children, five children, four different. And they are either saying, "We were all parented the same," if they are all the same, or they'll say, "We're all parented differently." And it could be that the parents parented you all the same, but you felt different about it. And it could be that the parents parented you different because you reacted different, and they thought that that's what you needed because you were different. How, how are we supposed to figure this out?

Now, what I know for sure is that we must be able to hold a certain level of pressure if we want to be able to grow, because pressure is what we feel whenever something matters that needs to be done. So, you have kids, you feel pressure. You have a relationship that you want to keep surviving over the years, you feel pressure. You have a house you need to pay the mortgage for, you will sometimes feel pressure. You have a bunch of things you need to do before snowfall, there will be pressure. You have a bunch of things you need to do before nightfall, there will be pressure. You run a business, there will be pressure. You have employees, there will be pressure. And the bigger the role, the bigger the pressure.

And so, if you imagine that pressure just will crush you because you can't handle it, then you will never really desire to do the huge things in life. And as a matter of fact, you'll tell yourself that pressure equals stress, and it'll just squish you alive. And so, there's just no point in wanting it. Because, like, if you imagine, "I can't handle this amount of pressure, more pressure would just squish me. I don't want it. I'd rather a simple life." What we don't contemplate is that our capacity is meant to increase as the pressure increases. We're supposed to metabolize the pressure.

So, for example, who here had has more than one child? Let's say three. Who has three children or more in this group? Okay. So, when you had your first child, did you see that it increased your pressure in your life? The amount of times that you experienced, "Whoa, I've got to do that. Wait, no, I can't just go there. We need to be back in time for this. We can't just be there. People need to hurry up. Do people not understand? Like, I got to go, or like, we got to move." Like, that started increasing in your body, right? Then you had two kids. So, for a moment, it increased your capacity. For a minute, and you may have felt like, "Holy pickles, Harry Potter, how am I going to do this?" Especially when one child needs you at the same time as a second child needs you, and you're remembering how much attention you had for the first one, and now you want to give the second one as much as you gave the first one. But you're realizing, "Gosh, this is not as easy 'cause I don't want to give less to my first child who's used to my love, but I don't want to compromise my second child getting as much as my first child. How am I going to do this?" But do you just go, "Ugh, never mind. I'll never be good at this. I quit." No. You increase your capacity. And then some of you are just super human and you say, "You know what? Let's just go for another one." So, if you have three children, now it increases your capacity again. "How on earth am I going to do this?" And then eventually, you've got three. And that's just life, and it's the way it is. But you metabolize the pressure. It's not like you have one child, you double the amount of pressure in your life every day for the rest of your life. You have two kids, you double the pressure and you stay the same. You just get crushed by twice the force. It's not like that. It's also, you become more capable of handling things.

Those of you who have had many children, have you noticed that a lot of things in life that other people complain about, you kind of feel inside like, "I feel like I could do anything now." Like, "How about this? We'll exchange lives for two seconds. You have these three kids and I'll do your problem just for one day. We'll see if you want to go back to problem." Like, the capacity increase makes it that you then start to feel like, "I can really do really intense things now, though." So, you don't just become super crushed by the pressure, you also become super strong from the pressure.

So, why don't we get excited then? Do you think? Why don't we say, like, "You know what? I need in my life right now, I need more pressure because more pressure would make me stronger." Like, why do we not equate that in your mind, in our minds? Do you think? Why do we not say, "The key to expansion is more pressure?" If we know that that's true, why don't we do that? Why don't we choose that? Why don't we say to ourselves, "You know, I've been feeling stagnant and I feel like I haven't been growing, and what I've been currently doing is feeling heavy. So, I think I've got to just increase how much pressure I'm holding and get back in a growth spurt." Like, why don't we think that? We want to avoid discomfort. Not everyone has the same capacity, even when you extend it. Very wise. Trepidation. Some here wrote that the right amount of pressure creates diamonds. That's so well said. I love that because we have equated pressure with extractive, with extractive energetically. So, it's like pressure equals stress, more than pressure equals power in the making. The fear of burnout, 'cause we've said pressure equals stress, it's uncomfortable, and it always feels unsafe at first. That's really wise. The key to expansion is more pressure.

So, because when we have that pressure, we usually want the goddess time to get away from it for a little. So, it's like knowing I'm choosing it, and knowing I'm going to want to break from it. And right now, I have a break from it. So, when do I start it? I want the pressure, but I'll start it tomorrow. I want it, but I'll start it after tomorrow, because it's not branded for pleasure yet. Oh, Mimi, that is epic. Pressure isn't branded for pleasure yet. Right now, it's branded stress. That is very, very smart. It's funny because I'm in a pressure cooker at the moment, and it dawned on me. You ask God for this. Enjoy it. I like that. I raised three boys. I can do anything now. Nicole, I love that we confuse pressure with stress and dysregulation, fear of burnout. We don't have the habit. That's also really smart. Like, right now, we have the habit of the life that we have. So, a lot of times, when we're choosing the pressure, we're choosing something that's going to change things forever. Like, you have another child, that is a forever addition to your pressure. It's not just like pressure for today. It's pressure for ever. It's like, "What if I don't regulate? What if I'm... It's not my habit yet. So, I don't know. I'm afraid I'm going to break myself." Oh my gosh, that's so huge. I have chronic illness and pain for years and somewhat avoided pressure to maintain my health. That makes a lot of sense. Fear of expansion, because then we'd have to grow our power. That's subconscious, though, because I think a lot of us deep down are like, "I want to grow my power." But you're right. A lot of times it is. That's the subconscious thing, because how having less power also gives us the right to a lot of excuses. "I'm so sorry. I just can't. I'm so burnt out. I've hit my limit. It's not my fault." Like, we'd have to give that up if we grew our power. Fear of overwhelm. Mhm. Pressure equals power in the making. I love this. We don't welcome discomfort. Such an elegant way of putting that. Um, let's see. The right pressure for growth. Uncomfortable stress. Sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves is actually a distraction, and it's being busy. But this, I would say that is stress. Pressure is holding something important to grow. Stress is piling on. "If I don't do this, I'm not good enough." Like, they're not the same. Um, I don't want my growth and increased pressure to negatively affect my kids and my partner. So, when I have more pressure and I expand, I might blow up at my kids more than if I don't have the pressure. Well, that's an interesting question. Do you feel like you're already blowing up, and you'll just blow up more? 'Cause that's not a thought that I would think of. Usually, we fear the thing we're already doing is going to get worse. I know one child is my capacity. I have the pressure of her wanting siblings and having to hold the frequency of saying no to that. That's been me this month. I haven't run out of tomorrows yet. Well, let's not hope that you do. Um, two weeks later, and I'm like, "I think pressure is lack. Pressure in lack is different than pressure in abundance." That is so wise. Holding the pressure and acting through it equals building strength and resilience. I used to love the pressure, then menopause hit. Hormones create even more pressure. But I think that's also the difference between pressure and stress, right? Short-term satisfaction over long-term. Yesterday we talked about long-term. So this is very much on point with what we were talking about. Past experiences with pressure when we didn't have the tools. Yep. Yeah. This is really wise, too. I like pressure, but in pockets. So, sometimes the stressful thing is to say, "I'm choosing the kind of pressure that's altering my life." You know, it's like, "If I could just have pressure this week and it would give me exponential rewards, I'd be open to do that." But if the moves I'm making this week actually make me become something that I've become forever, what if I don't want that? What if I can't handle it forever, and I'm choosing this forever? Sometimes that's a big fear. I'm having aha moments thanks to your wonderful family analogies. Well, that's awesome. I, um, I see. I'd rather create the pressure than orient to external pressure. There's always going to be pressure. I've been confusing stress for pressure. Again, it's very big. Um, I'm more likely to blow up. I'm, I'm more likely to blow up. I blow up when there is more stress. This is what I mean. So, if you're already blowing up when there is stress, you imagine that you would blow up if there was more stress. If that makes sense. It's not something that we invent, like, "Oh, if there was stress, I would blow up." It's like, "I'm already blowing up now with the little stress I have. If I had more, I'd blow up more." Instead of thinking, "If I increase my capacity, would I actually grow my pressure ability and not do this?" Which is interesting. That's not a contemplation. It's like, "I would probably do more of what I'm already doing." Do you see what I'm trying to say? I found the allowing room within to feel the pressure with a bit of courage. It totally alchemizes pressure into diamonds. I love this.

So, there's so much wisdom in here. It's like brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. So, when we think about it, some of us choose pressure because we feel like pressure in the right amount equals diamonds. Some of us choose to avoid pressure because we imagine that pressure will make some of the symptoms that we have when we're stressed worse, and we won't be good for it, and our family won't be good for it, and it's not worth it. There's like all these things that we're thinking about and contemplating when we're thinking about pressure and stress. However, the majority of the group here either had pressure growing up and in hindsight are glad there was pressure, or didn't have pressure growing up and wished there was pressure. And I think the big reason for this is because as we get wiser, and tell me what you think about this. As we get wiser, what we realize is without the connection to how important things are, we actually don't do the things that we want to do in this lifetime. So, pressure isn't supposed to be like terrible, but it's supposed to be the real holding of how much this matters.

So, when I read someone who said, like, "I wish there had been more pressure to continue playing the piano," for example. So, when you're a little kid, and you've got to do all of the notes and all the practicing, and you're just constantly doing those runs, like, it's not really fun, and it doesn't really feel like it's worth it. And it's like, if your parents are like, "You've got to keep practicing, and you've got to do it." They are doing that because they believe it's important that you eventually can play the piano. Now, if you're a kid and you do not feel that it's important to play the piano, and your parents believe it is important for you to play the piano, you will feel pressure from your parents. What you're feeling is that their feeling that it's important is surpassing your feeling that it's important.

Now, let's say you decided that playing the piano was important, and your parents decided it's not. Either because they can't afford a piano, either because they can't afford the lessons, either because they can't find the time to drive you to the lessons, either because they've seen your character already and they see that you started a new hobby and you just let it go all the time, and they don't want to fight with you, but they just decide that it doesn't matter that you learn to play the piano, but you feel it's extremely important. Then you will start building pressure inside of you, and as a kid, maybe even stress, because you're going to try to figure out how to do the things that are important to you that you don't have access to and that no one believes in. So, this is when you'll wish that they thought it was important, too, because then they would feel the pressure to figure out how to get you into piano lessons, to get you into these things, because what's important is where we feel that pressure.

So, we don't want just like negative stress. We don't want it to be like, "Practice, practice, practice. Have you practiced? Have you practiced?" from an empty place of stress. It's more like translating importance in a healthy way. Like, how do we translate importance in a healthy way? That's a really important question.

So, when you think about relationships. So, if you've ever been in a couple's relationship in your life, and the relationship fell apart because what was important to you wasn't important to your partner. So, for you, it was like, "I want, I want us to be together at night," but your partner would stay late at work and get home really late, and you'd eat dinner alone, and it would be like, "How do you not feel that I'm alone waiting for you? That I've cooked dinner? That dinner's going cold?" Like, "How do you not feel that inside?" That you maybe have had a partner that's like, "You stop stressing me, I'll get there when I get there." You know, like, either the dynamic was that way, or maybe you cared about your business, you cared about your big dreams, and your partner was just like, "Can you get off your phone? Can you just stop trying this for a minute? Can you... I need you to start making money. I need you to stop your business. I need you to go find a job. I need you to go do this." And it was like, "I wish that you believed in what I believe in, or that you find important what I find important."

If you ever felt pressure, if your partner felt pressured to have kids, it's because you wanted kids and they weren't sure. If you felt pressure of like getting married because they were like, "I want to get married and I want to have kids," and you're like, "I don't know if I'm ready for that yet." What pressure really is, is what's important to you is not the same as what's important to me. This is where it feels not good.

If, however, what's important to me is also important to you, we enter a different zone because now it's like, it doesn't feel like stress pressure. It feels like the pressure I want because you care about what I care about. You want what I want. It's this like, we want to get to the finish line together. We want to, like, for example, who here has a passion with their partner? Like, let's say, okay, who here has the same sports team as their partner that you just love? And when there's a game on, you sit together and you watch this together, and you are just, and it could be your kids. You could be really passionate about your kids' little league, or it's literally like you have a sports team you're obsessed with, but you get so in the god zone with your team when they're playing, and both of you are like watching the game, and you're feeling the pressure together. See, we kind of like that.

If you watch a series together, has anyone here ever watched Netflix with their partner, and it would literally feel like cheating if they watched an episode without you? Like, "You did what? You watched without me? How? How am I holding the pressure of this next episode alone, and you know what's happening next? Have you lost your mind? Do you not love me anymore? What is happening? How dare you? The trail that I thought this mattered to the both of us. How could you? How could you do that?" Like, this matters to us.

Pressure doesn't all have to be like super intense pressure. Sometimes it's just like, you've been left on a cliffhanger, and your partner watched the freaking spoilers. You're like, "No, I feel like I don't even know you. Who are you? Can't look at you right now." So, what we're looking for is to really look. And it's not natural for everyone in the world to feel the same desire about the same things at the same level all the time. It's not natural. So, the key is, you want to find people who care about things in a similar way than you do, and are willing to hold the pressure of the thing as much as you do, or a little bit more if you feel like you lack, and it would be helpful for you to have someone hold the pressure with you. Or just a little bit less if you feel like you're a little over the top, and it might regulate you to have someone who's a little more chill and lean back.

But the difference here, and this is what kids don't have, but we do have, is the ability to have discernment and agency in who we are giving and receiving pressure to and from. This is something that I am finding out in real time over the course of my career that has changed my life and my relationships in the biggest possible way. Because if I believe that something matters to me, like something matters to me, and I just imagine that it should matter to everyone, I'm going to put pressure for it to happen, and I'm not going to consider whether or not it matters more or less to you. I'm actually going to do this immature thing. And I don't know if you've ever either done this or had someone do this to you, which is, "If you cared about me, this would matter as much to you as it does to me. If you cared about me, you would have done this because it matters. You would have reacted this way because it matters." So, either you've done this, or someone's done this to you.

And if you look at a lot of how kids felt when we looked at the comments before, it was like, "When my parents put too much pressure, I felt like they didn't love me for who I was." When my parents didn't put enough pressure on me, felt like they didn't love me because they didn't, or they didn't believe in me. We make meaning mean something based on what what it would mean if we did it. What I do under pressure is what I do when something means something to me to this level. What you do about this same thing depends on how much it matters to you. You will allow yourself to feel the amount of pressure that is real and true. Unless I apply the kind of pressure, which is that if, if you don't care about this more in this moment, you might lose me.

So, I can alter your perception of the pressure in your life by saying, "Look, you may not care about this right now." But let me make something very clear. If you do not find a way to care about this right now, then you and I are done. "I want kids. If you do not want kids right now, that is the end of the line for us." So, you may not feel the pressure of wanting children, but you may have the pressure of deciding whether or not I'm the one or not. And it's this simple. "I want kids and I'm ready now. So, if you're not ready now, you've got to let me go." That pressure. It's like, "Well, I'm not, I don't want kids, but I want you. So, I'm going to have kids." And sometimes that works. And sometimes that backfires.

You could say, you know, "If you don't start prioritizing your health right now, I understand that you don't really care about prioritizing your health, but at the end of the line, if you do not prioritize your health, I am not, I can't participate in your lifestyle anymore. I'm not going to speak to you until you prioritize your health. You've got to stop this addiction. You've got to stop this. You've got to stop this." You might be like, "Whoa, I don't feel like I can handle the pressure of my addiction, but I can handle the pressure of my wife saying, 'If I don't get my alcoholism in check, she's going to leave.'" Sometimes that works. Sometimes it backfires.

Now, in the bigger issue, though, what I found is that it works to make the decision, but decisions don't just get made once. The dream idea of a happily ever after, like, "I've decided to launch a business, so now I've done it, so it should work." It's like, no, you decide to launch it, then you decide to keep at it every day. "I've stopped drinking." You make that decision, then you make that decision every day. "I'm going to look at life this way." You make that decision, and you make that decision every day. You decide, "I'm going to be a parent," and then you've got to step up to that decision, decision every day. So, this is yesterday's staying power discussion.

So, if we contemplate this, although it can work, it can work to have an external situation create pressure to make you make a decision. What happens when the external pressure isn't there for you to continue making the decision? So, you can have pressure to make the decision, but then what happens when you have to keep making it over and over again? You to be pressured constantly, non-stop, forever? No, for always. Because what actually makes us become the kind of people who choose the pressure? Because I could say right now, I could say, "Okay, tomorrow I'm starting a gym." I could, and I could, I could hold the pressure of the financial pressure, and I could say, "I'm going to go and I'm going to join the gym," and it's a non-negotiable X amount of years or X amount of money per year, because it's a one-year thing, and I'm doing it. And I could go to my cabinets and get let go of all the food, all the snacks from Christmas. I could throw them away. I could do all of that. I could clear my schedule. I could put a workout schedule in my calendar. I could do all of that. But then I have to continue next week, and the week after, and the week after.

So, what happened if I got, I was pressured into making the decision of joining the gym, and I was pressured into, "You can do it, just do it, empty the fridge," and I go, "Okay, okay, you're right," and I do it. But then what happens when I am faced with the pressure of, "I don't feel like it"? When I'm faced with the pressure of like, "I want to numb my feeling"? When I am faced with the pressure... What do I do?

So, the reason I'm bringing this discussion into this container is this. I have contemplated far and wide, what is the way to help people transform their lives? How do you do it? What is the way? Because I've watched so many different ways. I've watched all the ways. I've listened to people teach strategy. "You've got to be the authority. You've got to be the authority. You've got to be the one that's got so much power that when people are contemplating making a decision, they trust your judgment maybe even over their judgment. Then they buy. You've got to have so much conviction that when you speak, then people are like, 'Yes, I need this.'" You've got to do these things. But the thing is, I'm not in the business of just selling things. I'm in the business of selling things to the very same people that I have to work with. So, I'm not just selling yoga mats where all I need is one moment to make you believe you'll use the yoga mat. What I'm selling is actually the least important part for me. The most important part for me is delivering the thing once the people that have bought it are in the room. So, I need to sell it for people to be in there. But if I sell it to the wrong people, I'm going to have a terrible time running the program, and it's not going to work. So, there's really not much point in me doing that. And if I sell it with pressure, then I have to deliver it with pressure. I don't want to do that either.

So, when I think about my, my ideal, my dream is that I want to work with people who, once they're in the program that I'm doing, understand how important it is. I want to talk to people who understand how important what I'm saying is. That's really my ideal buyer is someone who's like, "Oh, I understand how important this is, and it's the most valuable thing in my life." Like, that's the ideal buyer. So, I can't create that buyer, though. In the same way, you can't. You can make. You can push your kid to practice piano once, but you can't push your kid to practice piano once and make them want to play piano forever. You've got to raise them by either putting pressure every day until they become a person who can handle pressure. Or you've got to say, "It doesn't matter. They won't, they just won't do it anyway," or "They can't do it," and you give up.

That the hardest thing to do is to keep believing that there are people out there that want the thing, and to say, "I don't, I don't want to put pressure for the decision to be yes. I want to find the people who already feel the pressure of how important this thing is in their lives." And this is why in relationships, in friendships, it's so powerful that we can select. Because you get to say, "I don't just want to find any guy, any person, and then pressure them to want everything I want. I want to find a person who wants what I want so that we face the pressure of our dreams together." So that I'm not pressuring them to come home on time, and they're not pressuring me to have intimacy, and I'm not pressuring them to have conversations and for us to open their hearts, and they're not pressuring me to do this, and I'm not pressuring them to do that. It's like, we, we, we have the same things in life that feel important. Shouldn't that be so easy? So, why doesn't that happen? Why don't we just be honest and tell people what we really care about? Why wouldn't we just tell people, "Here's the truth. I don't care about that. I am not, I don't actually believe that this is important." Why don't we just say, why do, why do we say, "Oh yes, this is so important to me," when inside it's not? Sometimes the truth changes. This is true. Sometimes desperation. I want it to be true. I think you'll like me more if I tell you it's true. If I, if I don't tell you it's true, you're going to lose interest in me. But it's like, wouldn't I rather find found, find someone who cares about what I care about anyway? Why am I, why am I actively choosing someone who wants things that I don't want? Maybe something is like cool or trending. The feeling of like, "I really should care about this. I should want this."

So, again, discernment. And then one of the biggest conversations that I had in the experiment, one that has stuck with me all year, which is the concept of being unshameable. Shame is one of the biggest reasons we get swayed by thinking we're wrong if we don't want something. And we never actually decide whether we actually want it, or we're just afraid that we're going to be shamed for not wanting that. So, someone says to you, "You know, I love hiking. I'm really outdoorsy." And you're like, "I like watching people on Netflix, and I like hike in beautiful places that I probably will never go to in my life. Does that count?" And they're like, "No." But what you say instead is, "Oh, yeah, me too. The more hiking the better. Please never take me hiking. But I would never want you to think that I don't like hiking because you might say, 'Oh, you're such a loser.'"

"I'll say, 'You know what I really love? I love horror movies.' You know, the kind of horror that really gets your blood going, like, 'Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Me, too.' Mhm. I still have nightmares about when I watched The Sixth Sense when I was 14 years old, but you know, horror, hardcore, for sure. I close my eyes as soon as the music starts to change, and I run upstairs when my basement lights are closed. But yes, yes, horror movies. Let's do it. That sounds hot. Then we snuggle when we're scared. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm the same. Mhm. Same. Same. Why am I blocking my ears? I think I got water in them in the shower. Why are my eyes closed? There's just something in my eye. Why are, why is your head under the blanket? It's cold. I love this horror movie. I fell asleep. Can't remember, but I love it. We should do it again tomorrow. Can we watch something funny before we go to bed and leave the lights on?"

Why am I afraid to just say, "I could never do that. I cannot watch that. That's not my style." Because if that's what I need to keep this person, maybe this is what I should do. There's things inside though that you do want. You're just afraid that you're not good enough, or that you can't do it, and that you're going to look silly when you're trying. I want to be successful, but I don't want to feel shame while I'm trying. I would love to be more healthy, but I don't want to say that because I'm going to feel ashamed that I'm not already. I, I would love to be more compassionate and less reactive, but I don't want to face the shame that I've not been perfect. So, I'd rather just not think about it. You.

Know, I'd love to get better at this, but I know it won't happen instantly, and I don't really want the learning curve. The thing is, shame is not bad. This is one of my biggest breakthroughs in the experiment. I think shame is necessary, but it's not supposed to be for basic ridiculous stuff. Not supposed to be flung at you like to manipulate you.

You're like to be shameable is often to be manipulatable because someone can say, "Oh." And you'll be like, "Just kidding." Because you would do something just to not feel shame, which is like you could be swayed, then you can be manipulated, then you don't have a lot of agency or personal power. You're it's like based on who might judge you.

But when you actually feel like God can judge me, shame is a God emotion. When I know I've done something actually wrong, like we need shame. It's a compass. It's it says that was not good at all. Face yourself. That was not good. And you're like, I know I'm doing better right now. You need the shame. But like shame because of tiny things that make you hide, make you play smaller, make you pretend you're not who you really are, put you in the wrong rooms for the wrong reasons. All that just makes our life get kind of wasted.

So what's difficult is this. It's my re big realization. If I care about helping people find out find what I've found in this life, this is one of my most like beautiful breakthroughs of my life. I want to teach it to the world. I want to show the world. I want to support this for the world. This matters to me. My dream matters to me. My mission matters to me. Helping people matters to me. This matters to me.

So I go and I say, "Who wants to do these things that matter to me?" All kinds of people respond. Some people say, "Yes, it matters to me. It matters to me as much as it matters to you. Thank you for standing and for showing me I can do it."

Some people say, "Uh, yes, it matters to me, but like I just don't know if I can handle the pressure of it, but it does." What do you What are you What are you going to say? Tell See, let's see if you can say something that's going to make me not feel pressure and feel like it's easy and maybe feel like I could do it because I really do want to do it. I just don't want to feel pressure about it, but like you you so so tell me like I do want it. What is it?

Some people will say, I mean, I know that I should want it. So, yes, I want it. I really should want it. So, I want it. Some people say, "I know. I know I need to or else this is going to go wrong or this is going to go wrong or this is going to go wrong. So, I need to Okay, I'll I'll listen to you."

And then I don't know what everyone has made their decision based. I just imagine. I said, "Hey, I want to hold the pressure of this vision for you." And you said, "Yes." I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to imagine that you're coming in with anything other than yes. So I come in Mel early Melanie Anne Leer who is completely convinced that there is no reason on earth that someone would be there unless they were as this matters as me. And all of a sudden I go in with all of my power and some of the reactions I get is like I felt pressured. And my head is like, how could you feel pressured? I thought you wanted this. How can you pressure someone who wants something? Isn't that like It's not me against you. It's you and I against the limit. No.

And they're like, "No, I I didn't know if I wanted it. I just wanted I just thought maybe I should." Oh, well, I didn't know that. I asked you, "Do you want do?" I asked you, "Are you ready?" I said, "Would and you said yes." And now I'm in full conviction. And you're like, "How dare you pressure me?" And I'm like, "But you said that you wanted this."

I had people say, "I felt ashamed. I felt if I didn't move forward with something, I would feel ashamed." I don't want you to feel ashamed. I just thought you wanted it. I don't I'm not attached. You didn't need to come. I don't want anybody to feel ashamed. I only want people that want to do it to do it. That's all. Yeah.

But I felt like if I didn't feel if I didn't do it, then then there was something wrong with me. But it's like, but I don't feel like there's something wrong with you. But I also am confused because you feel pressured to do something that you told me you wanted to do. And if you don't do it, you feel like I'm shaming you. But the thing is, I don't even know you. No, but in the way that you spoke about it with so much conviction, it made me feel like if I didn't do it, I was wrong.

Okay. So, I yell out loud, I want to talk about this. It's the most important thing in my life, and I want to help you change. Do you want to change? You say yes. I say, amazing. You come in. I speak my power into the room. Level 10, level 100, level 1,000. I give you my best. I give you my all. You say that's pressure. I say, "What do you mean pressure? You wanted to be here. You say, "Stop shaming me. I don't understand why you're here."

Well, because maybe I want it. And I just couldn't understand it. But then I started understanding that there are gradients of human power, gradients of human desire, gradients of human capacity, gradients of human shame. And just because someone wants something doesn't mean that they want it and they're ready. Doesn't mean that they're they want it and they're going to do everything no matter what doesn't mean that they want it and they mean let's go, show me, help me. It doesn't mean they're saying, "Be the pressure cooker that I need in order to do this because I don't face my own pressure on my own and I want you to bring the volume." It means, "Let me come see if maybe I'll do it." Not everyone in the room is actually in the mood. They just want to be in the mood and they're coming to hope that they'll get in the mood. There's a huge gradient.

And so I wondered to myself, what's the best way to do this then if I want to bring my full power to the room? How do I do it? Because I don't want to put pressure on anybody. But how do I just speak? Because I'm only speaking, I'm just speaking once. Everyone's feeling it differently. So, do I go less power? Like, no, that can't be it. So, I thought to myself, okay, well, maybe it's more like I have to I have to tell people that they're allowed to say no. So, permission. That's like that's not my job. That's not really That's not really the vibe, is it? Like you're here. You come here to be activated and I'm going to give you permission. That's not it.

I contemplated this, you guys. If you only knew like the amount of hours that I have contemplated this in my life. And I'll tell you where I stand with it now. What I've realized is that the conviction has to be in the programs. It has to be once the people have already decided that they're going to do it, not before. Before it's a discussion, it's like asking questions. It's like finding out who is who.

Because here's the bottom line. If I don't want something, this is the real truth of my spirit. What I'm going to tell you right now, if I don't want something, there is nothing you can do to get me to want it because I'm unshameable. You cannot shame me to buy something. You cannot shame me to want something. You cannot You cannot manipulate me to do something. It's impossible. And if I feel like you're trying to, you've lost my trust forever. So there you just can't. I have there's no danger of me falling for something. I've I've really done the work around this. I have like top level discernment around this. And if it ever happened, it would be a lesson in myself, not another person. If ever someone actually did somehow undercover manipulate me to do this, I would just be like, "Oh, I found another blind spot about myself." I've really gotten to the point now where I have worked on my ability to no longer be manipulated, and I've come a long way. It's not possible. So, I don't worry about that.

People can't make me do things. People also can't make me not do things. They can't tell me this is too hard for you. You can't do it. They also can't do that. What people can do for me is they can present me something that I know I want. without thinking they need to be responsible for whether or not I want it. They can talk to me like I'm an intelligent person and they can make me offers. They can let me know what's available. They can invite me. But ultimately, the difference and what's going to make me move is how much it matters to me. And no one can make it matter more for my life permanently than me.

You can manipulate me to think think if I don't do it I'm going to lose for today but that won't last motivation for the rest of my life. It'll just be today. I'm not interested in getting people to feel pressure in a moment. What I'm interested in is helping people increase their level of pressure and hold that for a long period of time. So I'm actually get going further than that if I create pressure in the moment. If that's the only reason for example that you buy something is cuz there there's pressure like if you don't do this you will fail and that you say yes I'm actually going further away from my desire which is to help you hold pressure long term.

So what I'm what I want is to work with people who understand how much the things I talk about matter and that will occur in your own breakthrough. It will occur in conversation but it will occur because you realized it not because anyone else told you. Whether we wish there was more pressure or less pressure from our parents. The real question I really believe and this is a lot of the work I'm going to be doing with a select group of people this year in a different different side of my business is like what what does it take for human beings to feel pressure properly? Because I'm pretty sure that parents put pressure on their kids so that their kids become something but they don't know how to do it where it's the kid that's choosing. So, they've got to put it like I'm choosing for you and you'll be grateful one day. And sometimes that's the truth. Sometimes they know that's the truth because that's how their parents did it for them. You hate it as a kid. You'll be grateful for it when you grow up. But there's this whole gradient of how I could have done it differently, but I don't know how to do it differently because my cousin, you know, their parents did it differently and they turned out absolutely nuts. And so it's like no no pressure creates, you know, no respect. This is how my cousin turned out. I don't want you to turn out this way. So, I'm going to go harder than my my aunt and uncle, softer than my parents, you know, like what? How am I even choosing the thing that's really the contemplative thing here is how do human beings choose the thing that's right for them? How how do we get there?

For sure, it's when there's a feeling of pressure, but not an unhealthy pressure. A good feeling like this matters. You do right by your kids because it matters. You will feel the pressure of bedtime and bath time. You will feel the pressure of getting their homework done. You will feel the pressure of raising them right. You will feel the pressure of all these things. But it's not bad. It's just it's pressure. It's not the most relaxing thing to feel in the world, but that's why we need balance. But when you are able to have the pressure of the thing you care about, you tend to wonder a lot less how to get those things done. You just go and you figure it out. But when you're not in the pressure, you just lean back and just ask yourself a million questions forever. I wonder how. I wonder how. Like if you had no pressure feeding your child on time, you might be like, hm, wonder what I can make. But it's like, we need to have the thing already in the fridge. It needs to be already made. It needs to be like clockwork. I wonder where we'll sleep tonight. It's like, no, they're sleeping in their bed because we're developing a routine or whatever it is.

When you know that you're holding the pressure, you show up. When you're still trying to figure out what you want cuz you don't want to say yes to the pressure, nothing is clear. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I should say. I don't know how I should do it. And this is how most people struggle in all the things they struggle with. Their relationship, their money, their business, doesn't matter what it is. So, we've got to increase the pressure, but we've got to increase the pressure with the capacity. And we've got to do it in a way that's healthy. And I believe that when we learn how to do that, the world is going to change because I believe it's going to change the way that we relate to each other, putting pressure on each other or not, or doing things cuz someone pressured us to or not. Like all that would end, which means we would stop fearing for our kids that they would do that, which means we would stop trying to pressure them to be a certain way, which means everyone would get raised differently. We would have different outcomes. But we've got to figure out first what makes a person do the right thing without being either manipulated, shamed, or pressured. And I can tell you right now, the world does not know that because a lot of of religions use shame to keep people on track or fear to keep people on track. The workplace uses pressure and fear to keep people on track. Relationships use fear, pressure, stress, shame. Human beings use this to keep people in line with what they want all the time. And it is also the truth that we don't really have a model yet of if you let people just be who they want to be, they turn out good. Because most the people I know that turned out pretty rough had a lot of leniency and not a lot of structure. So, we've got to figure it out. And I am literally becoming a better person every day of my life because I'm holding the pressure of that question. And I'm testing things with it and I'm trying things out.

But here's what's probably going to happen for most people in this master class, no matter how important this is, and I know that you can feel this with me when I'm speaking about it because it's impossible not to. It's literally the question I think for the whole world right now. But once this master class is over, you will be able to put that pressure down if you want. You'll say, "Huh, what an awesome movie I just watched. Makes you really think, eh?" And some of you will be like, "I am picking up this pressure with you and I am figuring it out for me, for my marriage, for my family, for my business, for my life. I want to hold the pressure of that question and I want to have it shape me and I want to find out how how you meant like how to receive your mentorship from a place of whatever pressure I feel is a healthy pressure. I chose it and I want to be able to also have discernment and say today I want space but I'll pick the pressure up again tomorrow cuz it's my decision. It's my choice. No shame, no I want to figure that out. That's really the biggest invitation for me, like for you basically in the work that I'm doing is like I'm not really interested in you doing it because you got pressured into doing it because then you're going to be there and I would need to pressure you in order for you to keep doing it. And I don't think we're going to actually advance as a society anymore using the exact same ways that have failed us to keep moving forward just to say we moved forward. Like yes, I'm grateful that I achieved all these things, but I don't like the way I did them. What's the point? Yes, I love that my parents were pressured, but not the way they did it. Yeah, I love this, but I don't love that. Yeah, I love this, but I don't love that. Like, so are we actively working on a solution? We will. When? tomorrow, next month, next year, 13 years from now, I don't know.

So, the invitation for this master class has been such a beautiful awakening because I wanted to have the spaciousness to follow the calling of doing it. And I was told it was supposed to be longer than my normal master classes, 3 months. And I really did wonder how many people will make it through the finish line in a master class like this because a lot of people have the staying power for one phase but not three. They have the staying fa power for one session but not three. And I had a feeling this was going to build in clarity for me over the whole thing and it was going to get clear after the whole thing and it did. I needed the experiment to complete in order to get the final piece of this like but not everyone made it through the finish line being here and this is actually not the end. It's the beginning. This master class doesn't end at the end. It ends with the beginning of a level of clarity I've never felt before. It begins with a feeling like all of my work was preparing me. All the years of questions have been leading me to this contemplation, to this guidance, to this way of mentoring to say like I'm not here to mentor people who don't who think they don't know what they're doing and need someone to tell them what they're doing. I'm here to mentor people who know that they are far wiser than they have ever held the pressure to find out. They are far stronger than they've ever held the pressure to find out. They are far richer than they've ever heard the held the pressure to find out. But there may be triggered and traumatized by pressure. And so they avoid it like the plague. And they either say, "I'll face my pressure tomorrow." Or they vilify whoever they feel pressure from. and they're ready to not do that anymore, but for their own self. They want to figure out how for themselves, for their family, their friends, their partner, their kids, for the rest of life, how to be unshameable, but how to be able to move because unfortunately we haven't found another way to control an outcome. We use manipulation, shame, stress, fear because for most people just possibility, desire doesn't work because we'd have to then choose the pressure. And we don't. We say, "Oh, yeah. I love that. I love having the space. I'll choose the pressure tomorrow." But we don't because we still have to choose the pressure. And the pressure feels like stress, feels like fear. We don't do it. So the only time we're choosing the pressure, and this is why the pressure selling works, is that the pressure to buy ends up being more than the pressure to think about it. So you actually move. But that doesn't help long term. It just helps you make one step. And it means that you would need that for every decision that matters for the rest of time. is that the pressure of doing making the decision now is more stressful than the importance of the change. That's what makes you move.

So moving forward and and Nicole says like what's the best program to learn to hold the pressure? What I've realized is that this is the key of everything. So it's not just that there's a program that helps hold the pressure. Although I am the one is literally the kickoff program for this, but like when I think of what fem fatal is, it's how you hold the pressure of feminine receiving. How do you hold the pressure of receiving without feeling guilt or even sometimes shame or unworthy? How do you feel? How do you feel the pressure of responsibility in feminine energetics of being a mother, a daughter, a friend? It's a different kind of pressure. Like every program that's coming is going to be altered by this in the most powerful way because I'm realizing that this is actually such an important piece of the discussion in every program.

When I think about business, when I think about in social media, how do I hold the pressure of writing the post I want to write, not being dissuaded by a trend? How do I hold the pressure of a posting schedule without being shamed if I didn't post on time or feel like I'm going to fail or giving up because I haven't done this or I haven't been consistent? Like, how do I hold the pressure of a brand without outsourcing my myself? How do I hold the pressure of selling when you think about selling? How do I I hold the pressure instead of giving it to you? Because that's really what pressure sales are when you think about it. You know, there's a pressure. It anytime there's change, anytime there's action or movement, there's pressure. So, if there's something to be sold, there's pressure. There's pressure. Someone's going to have to hold it. Either someone has to hold the pressure of having something to sell and saying, "I believe in this thing that I'm selling. I am holding the pressure of finding the right buyer, being squeaky clean with the energetics of it, taking care of the thing, selling it properly, and I believe I'm going to find the right buyer or someone has to hold the pressure of if I don't buy this, I'm going to miss out and something's going to be wrong." So, like ethical sales is being able to hold the pressure when you're selling and not trying to put it on your buyer. I want to sell this. Someone's got to feel the pressure. It's going to be you. Buy it now or you collapse into a million pieces and you never your life will never be the same and everything you've ever wished you could ever have will disintegrate in front of you and this is the only chance. 5 4 3 2 Thank you for doing business with me. That was fun. Let's do it again.

Like the pressure when I hold it and I'm like look the person who was meant to buy this will find it and they'll buy it and then someone gets to say wow thank you so much for holding this for me. This is exactly what I wanted. and I say, "It's my pleasure. You're welcome." Then they buy it and I say, "Wow, no pressure for them whatsoever. They just received what they wanted. I can do that. I can hold this." Again, that's if that flips things on their head. Being able to hold the pressure of what you're selling so that you can find the aligned buyer instead of giving the pressure of what you're selling so that someone gets it off your hands quickly. The pressure. The pressure of communication. I'm just going to tell you what I need to tell you. to get it off my chest instead of like I'm holding the pressure. When I think of leadership, the pressure of leadership, every single thing that I teach just took on a whole depth not just in what I not just in what I would teach, but in will it land? Do you feel it? Do you understand it? Are we building something for humanity? Does it actually work? Does it actually resonate? Does it work for us? Does it work? Instead of just like outsourcing everything, oh, if I say this, it's going to be good. Okay, thanks. No pressure. Melanie told me this would work instead of let me go contemplate. Let me try this on. Let me report back. Let me see what happens. Let me hold the pressure of my own life, of my own like what would it look like if a bunch of adults decided to hold the pressure of their lives for a greater purpose? And I'm actively holding the pressure of this in 2026. I have a small group of people with me as well that are actively working on delivering the absolute greatest future of mentorship that doesn't just teach people. I don't think that's what it's like the air of information has come to a close. This is not it. This is like how to clean the path for intuition. How to scrub the because I said so out of our mouths forever, out of our consciousnesses forever for it to be yes. No. Yes. No. I can hold the pressure of you're trying to shame me and it's still no. Yes. I can hold the pressure of the fear of failing and it's still yes. Yes. No. just like that. How do we get there?

And it's so funny because I have actually had people in my inbox over the years be like, "Are you not going to sell me into this? Can't you just tell me that this is going to work? Like, can't you just tell me that I should?" And I'm like, "No, not if you actually want it to work. I can't." You've got to have this discussion with yourself or you're like, can I choose my life because it matters to me or do I need someone to tell me that if I don't choose it, it's probably never going to work for me and it's the end of the road from here and blah blah blah blah. It's like we can make it fun. We can have incentives. We can say and if you do this, there's also this that comes as a bonus, a fun thing. That's fun. But pressure like, oh, if I don't do this, I've missed out forever. If I don't do this, I will never I I've lost. if I'm not good enough, it means I don't really care. It's like I don't believe that if you don't move forward with any of this, you don't care. That's not what I believe. I believe that if you don't move forward with any of this, it's because you don't you you when pressure arises, you probably either think it's wrong if I'm feeling pressure or you think, "Oh, pressure, let me think about it tomorrow." I think I want to do this, but I feel pressure. Let me wait till I don't feel pressure, which is impossible because you can't change without pressure. It just doesn't exist. It's part of the process. So, if pressure and and so much so many of us are traumatized by pressure because if we had it and we didn't like it, it feels and if we didn't have it and now it's there, we don't know how to hold it. It's like it's like there's so much trauma around pressure that when we feel it, we either go, "Oh, pressure must be wrong." or oh okay yes I want this yes but I'm feeling pressure so I'll wait till there's no there's none anymore when pray is that ever going to happen it's like oh yes I want children but that feels like pressure let me wait till there's no more pressure there's always going to be more pressure so the decision here is not like do I want this more like, do I want to change the way that I interact with myself forever? And that within itself is pressure. And you might think, that's a really deep question, Melanie. I'll think about it tomorrow. Which would make perfect sense because that's how we are. And it doesn't. But the thing that I want the most in this discussion and what's so important is that you can have it with me without feeling shamed by it. Because I don't think there's anything wrong about us doing this. I just think that that's what where we are as as humanity right now. It's like as soon as I feel that in my body, I'm like either no or let me wait. And so what I've found in my life is that I've actually built a much greater relationship with pressure. And when I feel it, it's often an invitation from myself. It's like, oh pressure, I care. Like this was the biggest mindset shift for me. Anything that feels like pressure is something I care about unless I'm being shamed or manipulated. Am I being manipulated? Is there something here that I'm feeling that I don't really feel? I am I feeling ashamed? And if there's no manipulation and no shame, the pressure is that this matters. So, how could I say, "Oh, I want to make this decision that there's pressure. Let me wait till there's no pressure." Then what you would be saying is, "Let me wait till I don't care anymore." Well, that's going to give you a very different outcome. It's like, I feel pressure because I care so I could fail. I feel pressure because I care so I could be wrong. I feel pressure because I care. So what if I mess it up? Let me wait till I don't care. Then I'll make the decision. But then I already know what the decision is going to be. And this is what this is what ends up happening. And in the moment, none of us really enjoy the pressure. But a lot of the times in hindsight when we were able to choose it, we're great. We're grateful. Even, and this is the craziest thing, even the pressure that isn't great, we're grateful for. Like, I can say I'm grateful for my bankruptcy, and that was one of the greatest moments of stress I've ever felt in my life, and I'm still grateful for it. So, it's like even stress is it you don't want to live a life where you're in a constant stress loop. And the reason I think it's important to differentiate pressure and stress is because I metabolize stress differently than I metabolize pressure. And sometimes there is stress. Like sometimes there is an external thing happening and if I don't respond to it now, something bad is going to happen. That happens. That's stressful situation. But I found that as I've become better at metabolizing pressure, I've actually become better at metabolizing stress, too. And as I've known the difference because when everything feels like a stressful situation, I go into nervous system overdrive. But when things are pressure and I know how to handle pressure, my nervous system doesn't get activated. So my nervous system still gets activated with stress, but because it's a lot stronger because it's not constantly in overdrive, I can handle stressful situations now. And I know the difference. I also know the difference between someone who is stressing me and someone who holds pressure about things with me because we care about them. That feels different when I when I have the discernment.

And so I am the one is really about owning this part of you like realizing that you the whole work of I am the one is going into the ability to hold pressure for all the things that matter to you in your life. Understanding what is stress, what is pressure, what you actually care about. It's about finding your truth so that you can have something solid to gauge with as you move forward. What is your truth? What is your truth? I'm the one I am the one to lead alpha fem. How much pressure am I willing to hold there? I am the one that's the big sister in my family of three. How much pressure am I willing to hold there? Am I aware of the stresses that come with that pressure? I am the one that leads 20 employees. What's the pressure of that? What's the stress of that? Am I willing to do that? Holding the capacity, learning to actually grow, really becoming the one in my nervous system as much as in my dreams, in my reality as much as in my hopes. Because the fact is I can say I'm the one, but if I never face the pressure of it, then I just don't own it.

I think everyone that's in this master class somehow felt that they were the one or else they wouldn't have come to something called mission to millions. You either know you're the one in your family. You know you're the one in your marriage that's going to turn everything around. You know that you're the one you know it that you're the one. You know you know you're the one that's got to execute. You know you're the one that's got to figure out your finances. You know you're the one that's got to hold the pressure, fix your credit. You know you're the one that's got to organize your house. You're the one that's got to get your health in check. You're the one You're the one. you know that you are, but then it's like the minute your the pressure comes. Your brain goes fuzzy. What do I do? You know what to do when you're the one, but you're not owning that you're the one. This is what the program is about. It's like I'm the one, so this is what I've got to do. We're going to find clarity, but not because someone's telling you what to do. You're not going to outsource. Like, I want you to feel the difference in that in that program between tell me what to do so I don't have the pressure of holding the failure that I might do the wrong thing versus help me access my knowing that I'm the one and help me handle and deal with the pressure I feel that I could be wrong and help me make the decision and be proud of me when it goes right and help me hold the hold the pressure so that when I make the decision and if it doesn't go right I can move and I can then still take a next decision and keep moving and not crumble like you're the one but we're not meant to do this whole life alone. And I really think that's where the future of humanity needs to go is like we don't need help like we're lost. That's it's not like I'm looking for something outside of me to tell me where to go. It's more like I want I want something that that and someone that offers me the feeling that I'm not alone, but I'm still the one. It's such a tiny little difference, but it's like I think that's what we crave from our parents. Like I want to feel like I'm the one. You know, Frankie always wants to do everything on his own. Frankie do it. Frankie do it. Frankie do it. Tootsel, which means on his own in French. Frankie do it. Totsel. Frankie do it. But if you were to just leave Frankie alone in a room, you think he'd be like, "Yay." It's like, "No, Frankie, do it. Totsel." With someone right here loving me and watching me and being proud of me when I do it, Totsel. Not like, "All right, Frankie, do it by yourself. Peace out." Like, that just does not work. And we say that I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to be the one I want to be the one that that provides for my family. I want to be the one that that my partner just can't get enough of. I want to be the one that has a successful marriage. I want to be the one that my kids talk about like I nailed it. I want to be the one that that has these beautiful moments with my family and my friends. I want to be the one that's the friend that people love. I want to be the one that builds my dreams. I want to be the one I want to do it. But I don't want to say, "Well, this person built me and created me and did it and I was just a talking head and I just did what I was told." I don't want that. I want to be able to say, "I did it." And I want to be able to feel I was never alone. And I I really believe that we're looking for this in humanity. Like this is what we want. We want this from parents, from friends. We want this. This is like the shaping of relationships on earth because most of the turmoil of the human experience comes from relationships. What we would have wished we had versus what we got and how we think people should have reacted if they knew how much it mattered to us. Like it's the conundrum in everything. But then we need to stop thinking someone's got the answer and we've got to start actually going and finding it. And I think it's only going to make sense when we do it together and we kind of look at it the way we did today. Like let's all look at it. Look look at everything. Look at how everyone's different. Then it makes you think, hm, then you try stuff on and it doesn't work. and you go back to the drawing board and you hold the pressure. It's to be able to really own that, like really really own that and to build your confidence. Not because someone told you it was going to work, but because you know that whether it works or not, you're going to be fine. If it works, you'll you'll have one piece of the puzzle and there'll be something else to grow into. And if it doesn't work, well, that's also part of what you've got to be able to hold inside and keep going and get back up. It's like the shaping of your self, like reparing yourself, re-raising yourself, re recreating the pathways from here on out. It is pressure. It's the rest of your life. But is it pressure like this is the rest of my life and it matters and I want to hold the pressure of that and I want to hold the pressure of that with people who feel that it matters or is it like oh my gosh why so and she told me that it's the rest of my life and if I don't do it like then it's like stress and I did it because if not I'm going to fail the rest of my life. It's like that's such a fine line. I'm the one is I am the one that understands that this is it. This is the shot and I'm going for it. The stress is like, oh my gosh, if I don't take the shot, maybe I'll rise into being the one. So, we become the bridge. Like that's the that's the invitation really.

So, obviously my my dream is that I'm able to help you in all of it. that we we start moving and we start contemplating all the things because the alpha fem experience is going to be the most profound like this year in the alpha fem experience could be the most profound thing. It's going to be in everything. It's going to be infatal. It's going to be an exponential wealth around money. The pressure of money, the pressure of earning, the pressure of investing, the pressure of lending, the pressure of not lending, the pressure of giving, the pressure Oh my gosh, there's so much pressure around money. Some people prefer to be broke than to have pressure to hold the money, to not mess it up. They outsource the money. They give it to everybody else just so that they're they're not responsible if they make a mistake. Put their head in the sand. They don't even open their mail in case there's something bad. Imagine if you could hold pressure around earning money, receiving money, spending money, having discussions about money, lending money, not lending money, giving money, not giving money. Like a lot of times this is like literally the cornerstone of whether we are successful financially or not is like I have a I have a hard time receiving it. I feel guilty. Then when I have it, I have a hard time keeping it. If someone wants it, I feel like I should lend it. And if they don't give it back, I end up giving it. And that is how I act with money because pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure. And then I can't hold the pressure of a discussion, so I don't talk about it. And then I can't hold the pressure of my feelings, so I end up cutting cords. And then I can't hold the pressure of hope of imagining everything's going to fall apart. So I don't open my heart up to new relationships. and I can't hold the pressure of being alone. So, I go in relationships where I feel like they're luckier to have me than I am to have them. And I kind of take them for granted, but then I don't realize that I subconsciously love them. And then when they try to leave, I feel like I'm going to be afraid of losing them. And I'm afraid of losing them. So, the pressure of losing them kicks in. Then all of a sudden, I'm running after people I had chosen for the wrong reasons, doing things that are out of alignment. What is happening? Pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure. And we can handle this. We see clearly it's so different.

So anyway, my ideal would be alpha fem experience so we can do everything. But there's going to be a level of pressure in alpha fem experience. And I want you to be able to hold that pressure when you do it. I want you to be able to do it from a place of like this is my year and I'm doing it. And yeah, there's pressure, but there's going to be pressure no matter what. So might as well have this while I handle it all. Let's do it. If it's like no, I can't do that. Then if you come into a year of the movement because you can do the alpha experience in 12 monthly payments too. So it's 15555 per month for 12 months if if that's easier if it's like I can hold the pressure of the decision but doing what 1555 a month feels like I that I can handle the pressure of the monthly payments more than I paid it in full. For other people it's like I would prefer to pay the bigger amount and then not think about the money. It feels like more pressure, unhealthy pressure. It feels like stress to have to remember the monthly payment. feels like pressure that's healthy, like this is a big amount. I'm brave. I'm bold. I do it. For other people, it's like, no, I actually like the pressure of that monthly thing. It keeps me accountable. Do which one feels right. And then in the movement, if you pay in full, it's $2,000, but you get to to receive I am the one as a gift in full. If you pay in full installments, you don't get it, but if you pay in full, you you do get it. And then you have that $2,222 that you can upgrade to the AF for a whole year. So, if at any point during the year you're like, I think I want to do the AF, you can roll the whole 2222 back into AF, and you do have a credit also of 1111 to purchase whatever you want is. You could run, you could jump into um resolution revolution before we end too, if you want. AFV in full is 1555 and in monthly installments, 1555. And then the movement is 222 a month but in full 2222 and then you receive I am the one as a gift and you can always upgrade the full amount and you have hours of pre-recorded classes and the movement stuff you can jump into right away which is really fun. And if those two things are too big then I am the one. Start with one thing. It's a big move you make the pressure investment of one move. You deal with one move at a time. And once that's complete, you decide what you want to do after that. One step at a time. And if none of it feels aligned, then none of it feels aligned. But can you just not disconnect from the pressure? That's all. And not say, "I'll think about it tomorrow." Just like deal with it. Just look at it and be like yes or no. I promise you I don't want you there if it's not good for you. I I this is the truth of my spirit. There is absolutely no reason on earth for you to be in that if it's not good for you. The only reason you should be doing it is if it feels like I know I want this. Like I feel it. I don't feel FOMO and pressure and all of this superficial crap. Like I know that this is what I I've got to work on. When I feel too much pressure, I blow up at my daughter. When I feel too much pressure, I blow up at my partner. When I feel too much pressure,

I don't work on my business. I put my head in the sand with my money. I I behave in ways I don't love. Like, I I know it. This is it. Like, I've got to start owning my power. I've got to realize the impact I have on people. I've got to learn this. I've got to I want to like this is it. It matters to me. And I'm willing to face the pressure of that. That's the only reason to do it. If you don't feel that, nothing else will count. Nothing else will matter. It won't matter because the whatever other reason makes you do it, then you just won't do it. It's got to be your life that matters. It's got to be like, I have the rest of my life to live. Might as well figure out how to hold pressure so I can have fun for the rest of it. Or am I just going to wish I was doing better for the next 13 years and then another 13 years and whatever else the universe tells me? Like it's just if you can face it and you can hold it and it matters. This is life-changing. But it has to come from you because it's the only way you'll keep doing it once you're in it. And that's the most important part.

But if you feel like you've been able in these conversations with me to hold your own, to hold your power, if you realize when you're in a conversation with me, you face yourself, you can hold yourself in discomfort a little longer than you normally could. You can question things. You can realize things like that's good. If when I talk you phase out, you think it's a bunch of crap, but you're hoping there's something genius in the program. There isn't. If you don't, if this hasn't been touching you, the program will not. This is an opening. It's like I've given you a taster of what it tastes like in my world. If it's delicious, you're going to love the menu. If you're like, "Well, this is really bad, but hopefully you cook well in there." It's like, "No, this is what it is." Just so you know, if it's your style, this has been your style.

So, with this, I'm going to leave an open cycle in here because my feeling is that the group is going to close on the 2nd of February, but then my team said, "I just want to confirm it's going to close on the 2nd of February." And then I had a feeling like uh that's weird. I don't want to say yes again. So supposed to close on the 2nd of February. Be prepared that it might. So if there's things you want to rewatch, it's a very strong possibility you're going to get that 24-hour warning or whatever it is like, okay, group is closing on the 2 sec on the 2nd of February. Um but there's something just feeling inside a little bit. So it's possible maybe maybe means yes for those of you who know uh exponential wealth that something could change and I can feel that but maybe not. So just bank on the 2nd of February the I am the one starts on the 26th of January. So if that feels like this is what I'm holding the pressure towards that's the thing I want to do like that's awesome. Um resolution revolution is we're in the middle of it. So, if you were to decide to do AF, you'd be able to jump into AF into resolution revolution, which is a lot of fun. Um, and then the movement is just magical. So, you jump into that. There's uh stages of wealth coming soon. We have a lot of amazing things coming.

But you don't do this for what you get. What you get is the bonus. It's who you become. Because it's like it doesn't m it doesn't even matter what or how it's done. It doesn't matter what course it's in. It it it's like a mirror maze. No matter what we talk about, you're going to be standing in front of the truth in every program and every discussion we have until it's part of who you are. That's really what this is. So, it's not like how how long are each calls and how much of a commitment is this. It's like you will use it the way your soul tells you to and it will be enough. I've got people who've watched every single call twice and I have people who watched a few and said, "I got everything I needed and I'm hitting for year two and year three and you're my mentor and you're the one." You're going to learn discernment. You're going to learn personal power. You're going to learn to stop outsourcing thinking that everyone knows better than you. This is not this is like a different thing. It's about you in your life and you should be able to feel that in the decision to even move forward with it or not move forward with it. You're the one in every part of it and I'm the one in my life. So I create my life, you create your life and then when there's an us, there's like this colliding worlds that occurs where I get to be a small part of your life and you get to be a small part of my life and there's a magic there. But you're still the leading one in your life. No matter what decision you make, I'm either just an important part, small part, no part. That's it.

But I want to thank you for the time we've spent together in Mission to Millions, for getting to to know me to the extent that you have, for me getting to know you to the extent that I have with the posts and the interactions and the responses that you've given. Like, it's been really awesome to get to know you and to to learn from what the group has taught me in the space. I've really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed this master class. To those of you who were there for the whole thing that was all three phases, I'm really blown away because it is a lot harder to have staying power when there was nothing on the line like there's no financial thing. You just decided and you did it. That's actually harder. So, I want to really congratulate you for doing that. And I don't know what's in store for us. I don't know if it's just like until I see you in another master class or I'll see you on the internet. If you're not following me on Instagram, on Facebook, I I share my heart and soul on there. Hopefully, there's going to be things I say that make an impact on you on a weekly basis, you know, that help you along your path and stay connected. And if it is for you, if I am the one is for you, if it's the movement, so you get I am the one or if you're like, I'm freaking doing AF because I'm ready, just reach out to the team if you have questions, reach out to me. Like, but it's your life. Just know you're the one that knows and doesn't really matter. none nothing else really matters. It's like can you get closer to your truth and can you get closer to your power and can you start doing the things you actually want to do without resistance and that's what this is all about and I'd love to help you do that. So, thank you for being here. I appreciate you more than you know and I'll see you on the internet. Have the most beautiful day. Preparing for takeoff in 3 2 1. Your mission. Everything you thought it could be. Despite the odds, Beyond no limit >> because you were born for this. A visionary's journey. Once upon a time, there was you.