DAINTY WILDER TEACHES CHRIS DELIA ABOUT SQU*RTING

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to your favorite podcast. This is Pillow Talk. I'm your host, Ryan Pwel, the number one adult podcast in the world. We're doing it, baby. We love you. Thanks for tuning in every week. Big one today. Huge guests, but even bigger co-host. No offense. My favorite comedian, my favorite content creator. Found him on Vine 2013. Wow. Singing in the car videos. Said that's funny. Then he went to Instagram and the dancing videos really got me. Been a big fan. Seen his stand-up more times than any other comedian. Used to be DC, then it was CD. Oh, wow. And then it went like this. No offense to DC, but kind of offense to DC. The GOAT. The actual greatest comedian ever to live. Chris D'Elia. Thank you. Thank you. That's very kind. Uh, you're very sweet. You've always been so cool to me. I had to come on here and, uh, I'm on here. It's an honor. A thank you, man. That's love, Chris. That's that's sweet of you, bro. Love, Chris. Thank you, Chris. Cool. And our guest today, huge. One of the biggest porn stars in the world. One of the top earners on OnlyFans in the world. All natty. Yeah, yeah, bro. Check that first. Pretty sure. Which is rare these days. Very rare these days. Girls love to work with you. Known as the top squirter in the world. Yeah. Best comedian, best squirter. Yeah. Wow. Both the best at something. Yeah. That's cool. That's gold medal [ __ ]. That's Michael Phelps, Tiger Woods. You have that for squirt. This is D'Elia Wilder. Thank you. Welcome. D'Elia Wilder. What is top squirter? The most comes out. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, like, so Angela White told me that I'm the biggest squatter she's ever worked with. Angela White. In comedian terms, Dave Chappelle said something to you. Okay. Wow. So wait. So she said you're the one that squirts the most. Yeah. Out of everyone. She's one. Which is like everyone. Yeah. So you. Yeah. True. So you took that title and ran with it, or people just started saying it about you? Yeah, it kind of happened beforehand. Like, okay. Yeah. But apparently it's very tough to squirt. You got to drink about four liters of Pedialyte. I know this. No, but let's be honest. You don't have to do it. It just happens. This, I feel like, is the secret though that nobody talks about. It's piss, right? So there's a difference. And I know, I know people will say it's the same thing, but there's a difference between. So I've worked with squatters and I've worked with girls who will just piss. They fake. They. Yeah. And I, you know, the difference. You can taste the difference. You can see the difference. But doesn't it come from the same thing? It does. But the thing is, like, when, but the horniness changes the flavor. I, maybe. Yeah, probably a diet too. Interesting. Probably diet. But also, like, when guys come, there's always a little bit of piss in that too. Really? I never knew that. No, no, there always is. It comes out of the same. She says. I can't. Dude, that's so. Wait, so okay. So you can tell the difference. You know, sometimes girls are faking it because they're like, "Oh my God, I squirted everywhere." Yeah. And like, they'll also tell me, they'll tell me like they don't squirt, but they'll fake it. So it's not that weird for guys to like it in their face. No. Okay, 'cause dudes that, like, when I got told it was piss, I'm like, "You like getting pissed on? You're a [ __ ] weirdo." Yeah. I mean, I don't mind pee, but like, I actually did my own little experiment where I, I pissed into one jar and I squatted into another. Very good experiment. I took a photo of it and I posted it on my Twitter. You can see the difference. Oh, really? Yes. And what was the? Just visually or or the taste? Was it? No, visually. I mean, the taste is different as well. You did a taste test? I mean, I have tasted both. It gets it by mistake anyway, right? Like it's like the Coke and Pepsi, but for your vagina. I mean, like, how? You tasted your own by mistake? Yeah. It shoots and you go, "Oh, [ __ ]." I ate. Oh, I never did the shoot. I can't. I go, I go to you. [ __ ] put in a cake. Oh, oh, oh, no. I do the cream pie. Eat. Eat out. I cream pie. Eat out. Oh, that's hot. You know. Oh, yeah. You start going for round two when you're on Viag. Oh, I see what you're saying. Okay. You know, you're ready for round two when you're on Viagra, right? Yeah. That's everyone heard that. But so, so, so, and then you go down and 'cause when I eat it, I don't just go straight. [ __ ]. I go from downstairs. I go. Even if you didn't, you've already cream pied. Because I'm not that good in bed, so I have to eat out as good as I can to make up for. So every round, I got to go down like Charlie. You're talking about after you. So you. So you're like, it's part of my. At first, I'm a one-trick pony. Miss. But you'll also eat it before you go first time, and then after the second time. So you're like, the first time it was you. Second time, it's us. You're eating you and her. That's wild, dude. That make come really quickly. What's that? No, I, I did. I went. You come? No, she asked that. Hold on. How did you get this? You heard this from who? Who are you speaking to? From me. I said, you come really quickly. No, hold on. Wait. What I want to know is, what's the? And I always, and I have an answer for this, and I talk about it on my podcast. Okay. What's the ideal amount of time to have sex? 'Cause I have a buddy who says, and he'll call me and he'll be like, "Bro, hour and a half turned her out." And I'm like, "Hey, hey, bud, she doesn't want that." And he's like, "Yeah, but she was, she did though." I said, "Why?" "I could tell." "No, you can't. Nobody wants to [ __ ] for an hour and a half." No, nobody. I on something. I, I go about 8 minutes. And you're saying, and you're saying, you're say, so you're saying that's too little. So what's the best time? 8 minutes is long. It gets kind of awkward, you know? You run out of moves. I got three positions. There's three moves. Don't do more than three moves. There's three moves. If you're doing more than three moves, it's, you're, you're showing off. It's make it only fun. Sometimes it's fun to show off. I understand. Maybe. But if you're with somebody for the first time and you're doing a bunch of different moves, that person is a [ __ ] [ __ ]. Okay. You do this where you're on top. You do doggy style. And then, and then you go on top. Yeah. That's it. That's all three moves. You're doing the wheel, the wheelbarrow, and [ __ ]. It's terrible. He does it. You know, he does the wheelbarrow. Actually, pile driver on a one-night stand. A one-night stand. Like, wait a second, baby. That's crazy. It's crazy. So all right. So the ideal amount of positions for you in sex is positions. Yeah. Like if you were like, what would you say? So I go, I go, make finger. I, I, but that's not a position. No, that's just how I start. And then I go down like Charlie Brown. If she wants to give me a head. Lovely. 40% chance, I'd say. You know. All right. And then I get up and I do missionary. 'Cause it's easy to just kind of go like this. And then you start and end with missionary. No. And I always end from behind 'cause I like to make weird faces. Oh, and and when I come, I have to go like. But do that missionary in her face? No, I'm too embarrassed. Yeah. But that would be great. That's why I do the hug. Interesting. My weird faces. Interesting. And disgusting, but interesting. I knew a guy that used to say, "I'm getting excited" when he came. That's cool. That's it's [ __ ] weird. Wait, wait. So he would be about to come and you say, "I'm getting excited"? Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. That's cool. But wait, how many positions and how long? Okay, so how long? I would say 45 minutes. Oh, that's a long time. All right. Yeah. I mean, no, if I, no, you're having fun. Walk us through it. It is fun. Walk us through it. I think if you get past one Seinfeld episode in the background, it's way too gone. Once Seinfeld is that, I'm excited. I'm getting excited. What's the deal? Just [ __ ]. That's great. Oh, that would be terrible. That's my go-to sex background. Really? Seinfeld? Yeah, 'cause girls don't really like it, but I like it. It gets me excited. Yeah. You know, I like, I like no sounds, period. Oh, that's. Wait, no music? No. I don't put music on. My wife is like, "We got to listen to music." I'm like, "That, that's fake." What do you want to listen to? The Weeknd? Like, what do we [ __ ] listen to The Weeknd? Yeah. But it's like, I want, I want it to be silent so we can hear each other. And then, like, if it's like the, you hear the lawnmower in the background, you're like, "Oh, that's real life." And then that kind of turns me on, you know what I mean? Other people are doing other [ __ ]. You know what I mean? Only reason I don't like music is because if you're still on, like, before the guitar solo of Free Bird comes on, you're like, "[ __ ], that was four minutes." Oh, you know, you can tell. But also, remember when, I think the last time I had sex to music was when like iPod Shuffle was out and it went from like something dope to like a comedy album that I was that like had like [ __ ]. That's [ __ ] Mitch Fatel. Whoops. Oh, it was cool. And you're, you're [ __ ] busting to like a Dave. No, D'Elia. And I'm that. What do you do? Walk. Well, you've done it all. You know. Walk us through your 45 minutes. 45 minutes. Okay. So I mean, say, start with like a guy going down on you. Do you make out when you're when you're doing the content? The content? Do I make out? Yeah, but like 'cause you like it. Um, yes. But when I, when I shoot with guys, I usually don't 'cause it's like POV. They can't really. Right. Do that make out with the camera? Yeah, like, what the [ __ ] are you going to do? It's just so weird. It's him. It's so real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, the guy jerking over being like, "Ah, skip this part." POV is all I jerk off to, by the way. Oh, yeah. All I like, really? Yeah. I like to pretend it's my pee. That's kind of something. Yeah. Jerking off from the distance is almost like you're cucking. Peeping Tom vibes. I can. Especially we're far away from the computer in the other room. The door open. Oh, dude, I'm a cuck. I like to watch. I like to watch porn. I'm such a cuck. I like to watch porn. Porn from the other room through the [ __ ] window. I'm like, "Oh, yeah, dude, that's great." That's so. That's awesome. Oh, man. There are going to be guys that are answer that. Yeah. Definitely have it figured out like that. Like they're like, through the railings, looking from the stairs down. Oh, [ __ ]. Yeah. Pop-up comes on like [ __ ]. They have a clicker thing. Presentation clicker. Yeah. Okay. Keep walking us through. Okay, so like, usually I will stop by blowing a guy. That's nice. Yeah. Very generous. Consider it. So not kissing. Um, depends like how intimate I am. Like if I really like them, then yeah. But, um, if it's a one-night stand, I'll like blow them so they're really hard. And then usually they'll just like [ __ ] me for. You'll go soft dick and mouth. If they're not hard yet. Uh, sometimes. Yeah. She's like, "Oh, they're hard." Well, yeah, usually they are. But some girls, you know, they're like, they're looking. You got it. Just two minutes, baby. Two minutes, baby. No, I haven't had that before. Really? Huh? Yeah. You've never had a guy, uh, nervous stick you? Uh, big nervous? Really? Yeah. I love it. I'm sure they love it too. Oh, yeah. Um, get hard, bro. Come on. You start jerking off like this. You're rubbing your rubbing your clip, bro. No, I just. I'm not hard yet. No. So like, if they're not hard, like, I'll, I'll do something to make them hard. No, I won't necessarily go straight for a [ __ ] like you. I'll give them like a lap dance. Oh, wow. Yeah. I like to like. It's fun. That's very nice. You think so? Yeah. Thank you. Incredibly generous. Worst thing a girl can do is the arms crossed. Really? 'Cause now we already feel shame if you're not hard, right? Yeah. But then some guys like the shame. No, some guys like that. Yeah. Right. Like, "[ __ ] you and your flat dick." Oh, and then they get hard. Yeah. Weird. Yeah. Never that. Never been. What's that? Guys's a complex. I've learned that. You said it. Mm-hmm. You, you've had weird requests. Yeah. Yeah. Tell us about them. Before you even get into that, though, you, a lot, you've been, you've been in a situation where you've been able to tell that a guy you were with personally likes that kind of shame stuff? No, he'll have to like tell me. I, I can't assume these things. Yeah. Well, like, you could hurt someone's feelings. Very good point. Very good point. That is true. What if I don't like it? You're going small pee-pee jokes on me. Yeah. I can't take that. I like to go the pretend and say, "Look at that 10-inch [ __ ] [ __ ]." And I go, and I look away. And I. You should do it. You should start it. You could start it by not doing it with just their penis, though. You'd be like, "Oh, your fashion kind of sucks. You, you [ __ ]." Yeah. See if they got hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can take fashion. I can take. Yeah. But just don't, you know, compliment the pecker. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'll keep that in mind. Oh, you voted for the wrong person in 2020. That kind of. I don't know what I missed. She just, uh, gave me a little flirt wink. Nice. Sorry. So, um, you like coffee. Okay. Keep going through. So you, you blow job. Yeah. Okay. So typically, I'll start with a blow job and then I'll just want to like go straight into [ __ ] 'cause like, I get really wet from just giving head. Okay. Um, that's so that's cool. She likes what she does. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah, then I'll like ride him. He'll flip me over. [ __ ] me from behind. Okay. Um, you skip the M. Yeah. Not. Yeah. I mean, I really like missionary or like when I'm that and he's like that L-shape, so he's like upright. Um, yeah, when he's doing. No, I, sorry, when he's on top. Yeah. So say like this is missionary, but then he's like this. So then he's like the warrior pose. Yes. Is that what it is? No, I'm kidding. I don't know. That might be it. Like to a [ __ ] jot. I have long calves. I do that with a pillow. Oh, yeah. Just to level up to, uh, where my pee-pee is. Okay. Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, you know, because I have long legs, so my penis. Wait, your leg to penis ratio is like. Yeah, 'cause crazy long legs makes your penis look smaller. You know that's unfortunate. If you're laying on your back and my penis is up here, yeah, it's hard for me and I can't. I'm not flexible. Yeah. Okay. So I get pillows up. Then I, I would like under her. Under her. I see. Yeah. Usually I'll do that myself. Like, oh. See. Generous. Wow. You're good. Like I said, she likes what she does. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I enjoy it. And then you'll finish. Miss. Um, usually. Um, missionary. Behind. And like, I, I really like anal as well. So like, I, I really like when a guy is [ __ ] my ass and I'm like in that position like flat and he's that way and then I can like. You go up so high. Yeah. Yeah. And I can like look at him. You do, uh, you, you rim. Yeah. One night stand 30 butts. No, I, I don't think I've done it where butts are. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I've done it with one. I, I need to meet someone's family before I eat their butt, you know what I mean? Like, that's. Yeah. Yeah. Show me. Show me a picture of your mom. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, uh, you do the rims? Uh, I've done it. Yeah. I've done it. Yeah. You go legs up. Uh, you go this way. I feel like guys. You're saying for me. Oh, have I? Oh, Jesus. Been a long time. Uh, yeah. [ __ ]. I, I have no qualms about like, uh, look at this weird position I am. I don't give a [ __ ]. Like, if you're going to do it, do it. Like, it's weirder to [ __ ] turn around. Yeah. That's weird. You know what I mean? Although it is easier if a guy turns around. Like, you can actually. Yeah. Yeah. I think the most masculine way, you're the guy standing, the girl's on her knees. Yeah. I like that. Guy standing, the girl's on her knees. I did that with another girl on. Actually, blow job. You know, like the classic standing knee blow job. Yeah. I did that with another. But then the guys turned around. Yeah. And no, you have. You have one in the front. But then make faces. Oh, you like that? Yeah. You like that? No, I was saying like, you have one go at the front, one go at the back. That's cool. Yeah. That's the way to do it, right? Yeah. That's very cool. That's what I'm saying. Are you, uh, how, how on the spectrum? Straight to lesbian? Autism? Oh, sorry. I don't. I don't think they have. I'm not 50/50, like I am by. But I lean more towards guys. Like in terms of relationships, I prefer being with a guy. 70 dick, 30 pussy. Yeah. Good numbers. Yeah. What about you? I go 99 straight. 99. You can't say 100 'cause then you, you're like, "Yo, bro, those are the gay." Overcompensating. Yeah. Exactly. You know, I'll do. We've all done some like gay [ __ ] as a joke. You know, as a joke. Like, bro, not like, not like that. Like when Liam has good guest research that isn't wrong, which is rare. Yeah. He gets a little kiss. That's very, very nice of you. That's cute. Who, who you, uh, having sex with when you're in Los Angeles? Um, this trip or just like in general? Both. Um, so I'm only here for like two more days. I just collabed with Eva Alie. Wow. Yeah. Um, she's the biggest European porn star. Oh, really? Eva. I think she's number top five on The Hub. Yeah. I see her like right at the top all the time. Yeah. Number one in one of the categories, I think. Just may most viewed now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Most viewed. Yeah. But, um, yeah, like I collab with Angela White, Riley Reid, Sky Bri. Oh, um, in comedy terms, she only goes on stage with Chappelle, Jerry Seinfeld, and, uh, the black that's dead. Oh, Patrice. Uh, no. Uh, the black guy that's dead. Well, Patrice O'Neal's dead, but there's a lot of, you know, the guy, the GOAT. MJ. Who's your? Who's the MJ? Isn't there. You're talking about Richard Pryor. That's the one. Oh, he's been dead. Yeah. Got it. Got it. Got it. Okay, 'cause those are GOATs only. Yeah. That's like the Dream Team. Got in comedy terms. Stop putting [ __ ] in comedy terms, dude. I, you don't have to translate names. But no, yeah, the first time I came to to LA, like I shot with Angela, um, and Lena. They were like the two like first people I shot with. You and Angela must be popular together. She's also Australian, right? Yeah, she's also Aussie. And yeah, we, we gel pretty well. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's cool. Because you guys could have a rivalry 'cause you're both from Australia. You know. True. She's so nice. Oh, what about Savannah Bond? You friends with her? No, I mean, not. Okay, wait. Her. Not also Australian? I haven't met her. Really? No. So it's like a my turf kind of vibe. Bloods and Crips. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We'll go with that. Has she been on here? Yeah. Yeah. She seems nice. Very nice girl. Yeah. We like Savannah Bond. Yeah. I would. You can't say that this person is an [ __ ]. Like, not that she is, but I'm saying like, you know, you don't like some people, but you're not going to [ __ ]. Well, I know who you don't like. Oh, Amarah. I don't know how to say her name. No one does. You. I don't know who the [ __ ] she is, to be honest. Yeah, that's the thing. Apparently she's loaded, rich. But I don't understand why or how. Yeah. Porn? No. What does she do? She shows boobs. She doesn't really do porn. That's the thing. Like she has an OF. Never shown her pussy pussy, right? I don't even know. I heard that. Yeah. Everything's censored. And it's basically all a scam. Yeah. But she kills it. But she kills it. Yeah. Yeah. She won best at AVN. Uh-huh. In comedy terms, that would be like. I know what [ __ ] AVN is, dude. They asked me to host it. Wow. Yeah. I didn't do it. Oh, and not that I wouldn't. I just didn't. I don't know what happened. I C. It was a while ago. Very cool. I'm in a way. It is cool. I'm sure. Be cool if he did it. Matt Rife did it last year. He did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With a. So she won best digital porn star or whatever the award is. It's like a. A big. Talking about. Yeah. Yeah. I'm around. Yeah. And she beat out my girl Kazumi and Sky Bri. Which is like, whoa. Who's this chick? For best, uh, internet. Yeah. Internet porn star. Okay. Huge award. But that's what every porn star is, right? It's a huge award. Oh, a huge. Okay. Doesn't make porn. That's the thing. No. Best actor is best female performer, right? I understand. But I'm saying, in Oscar terms, in Oscar terms, best. It would be the best. No, best female performer is the award. But that, but they, but they. This is best supporting actor. Okay. But wait, hold on. They take into account that they do. Not the best performance for AVN. They take into account the acting. Right. I don't. Do they? Um, yeah. I mean, it's everything. Not it's really good. But like, girls fight over it. Wow. Angela White has has won it the most times. Okay. Yeah. She's won it like 20 times or some [ __ ]. Which is crazy. Wow. Well, she's a good best porn actress. Maybe she's a. So so why do we hate her? I, I wouldn't say I hate her. There's a beef. Her. She's been stealing your content. There was at one point. So when I started O, um, like I took off like pretty quickly, but I was still new. And then I started getting fans messaging me being like, "Oh, hey, did you like copy her videos?" I was like, "No, I didn't even know who she was at the time." And she, like, they started sending me screenshots. Turns out she was just like straight up like stealing my video ideas. And these were. You did a first. Yeah. And these are like very, very unique ones. So for example, I did a video where I, this was during lockdown, so I couldn't like work with anyone. So I got creative and I decided to do a twins video with myself. And I like edited it so it's like two of me sucking a dick. Sick. You were the first to do that, as far as I know. Yeah. I, I had never. Sexually. It was original to you. You didn't see. I, I had never seen it before. That's [ __ ] sick. And it took me so [ __ ] long. Like it took me so long to film it. And it took me so long to edit it 'cause I've never done that sort of editing before. Yeah. But I like, I was really proud of it because I had fans that literally were like, "Hey, do you actually have like an identical transist?" It was a double [ __ ]. Yeah. A double [ __ ]. Wow. So you had to be aware of who was on. Yeah. And there, there was like dialogue between us and stuff. Really? You're like, "Turn." And then be like, "Okay." And you had to know like, "I'm on the balls at 5:04." Yeah. Yeah. I had like a whiteboard behind the the tripod just to like know like timing. And I had like. Yeah. Yeah. I went to this. This is how [ __ ] I was during lockdown. [ __ ]. Yeah. This is. Wow. So I did that. And then my fans like showed me Amarah and she did like a. But she doesn't do suing dick, right? No. It, I mean, so we both did it with just like one of those, you know, those torso dildo things. Yeah. 'Cause like I couldn't collab with anyone. Yeah. Um, he would use Co all on you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'm excited. Here's Co. A Co all over you. E. And that. Ew. Yeah. Well, you get sick, right? Ew. Oh, come. Yum. Oh, it might have Co. I guess it is bad, though. Yeah. Co. Yeah. Um, but yeah, yeah, she did like a version that was like not as good, of course. Not. It was exactly. All right. So, and also, wait, hold on. She got best porn, but she doesn't do porn. It's beef. This is what I. I don't know her, you know, but politics. Yeah. It's got to be, right? Mm-hmm. Maybe she did a twin blow job to the director of AVN. So wait. So that's [ __ ] up. It's probably because they want to be more mainstream 'cause because she's not doing it. So they want to. That's weird though. That's weird. Mm-hmm. Are you going for that this year? I was nominated for last year for what? Best. That one. Um, the same one. Yeah. Wow. What a. Yo, what a category. What, what was it? Best that. Um, best digital creator. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Cool. Sky. Amarah. Yeah. That's a main four. I wouldn't count Amarah, but yes. Should give a beef alive. Sorry. Good for. Well, but, but dude, she's right. If she doesn't do porn, she doesn't do porn. That, that's weird that she's in the category. Be like, "[ __ ] all the dudes." And then Matt Damon was. Matt Damon was in there. He like, "Dude, for Oppenheimer." Like, "This isn't porn, Matt Damon." It's just got a C for me yelling next year. He's going to win. Be he's [ __ ] so good. He's better than that Sins guy or whatever the [ __ ] Johnny Sins. Johnny Sins. Yeah. Have you [ __ ] Johnny? No, I haven't. Get it. Well, I mean, I feel like everyone has. So I kind of. We all have. Yeah. Like together. Yeah. Dude, train. It was like [ __ ]. What's that movie where they eat the centipede? Human Centipede. E. How was the middle, bro? It was awesome. Wait, where would you be in a Human Centipede? The middle. That's the worst place to be. Dude, I'm shame me, dude. Oh, my. You're [ __ ]. Yeah. Your ass is my mouth. No, that's terrible. You know they made a sequel and another one after that. Apparently only the second one was the best one. They were all the worst one. I haven't seen it. I, I've only had. I saw the first one. Really? How could you not see that? I think I wasn't allowed to watch. You should. You know you should do next pandemic. Cut yourself three times in it and do your own. Oh my God. Oh my God. [ __ ] cut. Next pandemic. Just like predicting. You know, they'll pull some [ __ ]. You know, with the strap-on. I'll see if I can do it. Oh, do I might just do it anyway. Do you peg? Do you [ __ ] guys in the ass? Um, I haven't been with a guy that wanted that, but I have. Like you have. He just hasn't said it. It's getting way too. Maybe maybe that's getting. No, I've been with guys who want me to like finger the butt, but like, I feel like when it comes to like strap-ons, they're a bit way different. Yeah. Yeah. Kazumi. Do you know Kazumi? Yeah. She was here with her boyfriend last week. Yeah. And they were, they were showing us. They brought his kit to prep. And it was different sizes. And, oh, he's up to number stage four. Once he gets to stage 10, I'm going to [ __ ] him with this. Like the [ __ ] workout bands. The in the worker. Oh, I'm not there yet, dude. That's that's really. So she's that wears the pants in that relationship. Yeah. And the dick. Yeah. Yeah. Dick in that relationship. Yeah. Wait, so how big was the biggest one? It was about nine or 10. It was like, he's like, "Yeah, the fans want to see." Like, "I'll get there." He says, "I'll get there." Wow. That's crazy. I took last weekend off, you know? Yeah. God. My boys, let me tell you about the Enhanced Male. It is the premium destination for all men's sexual pleasures and toys. Unbelievable. I've been addicted to this. They sent me some stuff. Now I'm buying things off the chains. They got penis pumps, they got frost axes, massagers, they got fleshlights. Everything catered to men. 200,000 satisfied customers cannot be wrong. It's discreet. You order from your own home. Nobody has to know. They keep it all hush hush. They ship. 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Hey, tell us about the you at the Lamborghini 'cause you're rich, right? I heard you made a milli your first year. More. I wouldn't say seven plus. And you know what? Yeah, but also it's, uh, yeah, a million dollars. Where does it really get you, you know? Exactly. Chris. Money guy? No. Yeah. Maybe. But it's stadium guy. Okay. Well, not quite, but you've done arenas. Arena guy. But arena guy. Yeah. Money guy. I, I like money. Money, arena equals money. Yeah. Most of the. If you could fill him. If you could fill it. Yeah. If you can fill it. Yeah. Yeah. So you went and bought a Lamborghini? No, I didn't. Oh, I like how confident you are with [ __ ] that's just not true. I don't even think you knew what you were saying right there. So you bought a Lamborghini? I, I think I know what you're trying to say. So I, I even had the color of green in my head. I don't know why. So did I. Why you think I would drive a green? Australia. Dark hair. I don't know what the [ __ ] it is. I'd get black if I was going to get. That's the one to get. I'd also get a Urus. Like, really? Out of Lamborghinis, if you're going to get a Lamborghini. I've driven like the, like the sporty ones. They're so inconvenient. They don't have Hurons now. Are for crypto weirdos, I find. You know? Oh, yeah. You know, it's like, "Oh, you just made a lucky Bitcoin." Yeah. Yeah. You know, no offense to anyone. Okay. T part. You suck the dick. Okay. Okay. Basically, so I went to the Lamborghini factory 'cause my friend was ordering a Lamborghini and like, he got invited to the factory tour. Okay. And this was, this was in Italy. This was like, I don't know when. Um, Lena got married. Lena. Oh, and Adam. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. So we went to that. Um, and yeah, we went to the Lamborghini factory. And they have like a, a tall guy that takes you around. And you're not allowed to bring phones or cameras in. They're like, "Really, really?" Because they show you like exactly how it's made. Oh, so you have to like put everything in a locker beforehand. Like, like a [ __ ] regular people that don't make cars are going to be like, "No, I got the [ __ ] blueprints. I'm going to go make my own." That's so stupid, dude. Oh, you don't want Crystalia to see how we make the Lamborghini. Like, I'm going to. You know what? [ __ ] this comedy stuff. Give me a soldering iron, dude. That's so annoying, dude. [ __ ] these [ __ ] with that [ __ ]. That's so annoying, dude. You never know. I mean, you don't ever really know. But come on, be a spy. I don't know. Anyway, yeah. So we went on this tour. And the, the guy showing us around, he was, he was hot. Um, so we got to the, was the carbon fiber section, which is actually really interesting. I don't know if. Interesting. Carbon fiber. Yeah. Talking about. Um, and I, I blew him in the carbon fiber section. Very cool. Where? How? Where? How? Yeah. So, okay. They had like this closed off, like carbon fiber area. And you can like enter it. Um, but like, 'cause it's not like heaps of people doing the tour. Like it's like one group at a time. Oh, so it was like me, my friend, two other friends. Um, and yeah, he like took me in and was showing me around. And it, we did it behind the. D'Elia Wilder. That's kind of [ __ ] weird to take you act there. Well, no, I was hitting on him. So how? So though, like very overtly or what? Um, 'cause that's, that's for a guy to be like, "All right, here we go." It wasn't him suggesting it. It was like. Room. Yeah. This was. To other girls. I don't know. Probably. But this is you leading it. Yeah. God. Okay. Huh. And you like leading it like that? Does that. Is that something that turns you on? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I like taking control. Oh. Huh. Yeah. So was he like, "Oh, we should." Oh, oh, we shouldn't. Oh my God. Oh, God. No, he was just being really nice. And then I was like, floating back. And then. When he pulled his pants on. Did he have an erection? It was like a semi. Okay. Okay. I like that. He's nervous. Dude, he's in the [ __ ] carbon fiber room. He's like, "But okay, but you better not have your phone." We just. Remember, no phones. I think it's something about carbon fiber just does it for me. I don't even know what carbon fiber is. You don't? No, but it sounds. It's like the nice [ __ ] that they put on and in cars that make it like. It's like a nice material. It's really. Don't [ __ ] crash with it. It's like fiberglass that goes away. And you got to. And it's very expensive. It's hot. Yeah. Interesting. That happened. That guy's got a story. Yeah. Yeah. Does he? I hope he's not going to get fired after this. Did he know? Know who it is? What was his name? No, I don't even remember. We like to name names. It was like some Italian name. Okay. I don't really remember. Fabio. That's hot. Fabio. Okay.

Now tell us about the weird requests you get on OnlyFans. Weird requests. There's a lot. I mean, I heard through the vine of grapes that period blood was requested. I mean, probably. There's always. Liam saw that on the internet today. Yeah. I mean, and but anything you can imagine. There are like, there's there's something for everyone. That's the thing. So like, like I think I remember, you know, a couple of times someone requesting [ __ ]. I never fulfilled that order. Like, I don't. I don't want to. Okay. So you would. I guess in theory, you would if you were to be like, "Okay, you'd [ __ ] in a box." In a box? Well, you probably [ __ ] in a bag. I don't do it in a job. Tupperware. Tupperware is probably the best, honestly. Going shatter. It's going to keep it fresh. And then also the lock. The lock back thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I, that's better. That's. I'm a. You want to really. You laminate it. And so then, uh, you put it in a. Then you put it in a box after you put it in the Tupperware. You put it in the box. And then send it over. And then the guy gets it. What does the guy do with it? What does the guy do with it? That's the thing. There are [ __ ] crazy people. They really eat it. Eat it? Well, or they masturbate with it. With it is probably the thing that they do. Or they at least, you know what I'm saying? I, I remember there was a guy that really did want my [ __ ]. There we go. Okay. See, we're getting. And, uh, he specifically wanted it 'cause I'm vegan. Wait, I don't get it. Out. Probably. I don't know. Maybe it tastes that out. I don't. Maybe he's vegan and he's like, "Want your [ __ ] but you know I can't." Angela White just had ribs last night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'll be able to tell you. Probably could. I don't know. Anyway, this is disgusting. Um, no, I've, I've had a lot of requests for squirt. That's like the main thing. Okay. But that's your thing, right? Yeah. So there you go. That's why. Okay. So tell us about the bottles you sold. Yeah. So because a lot of people were requesting it, I just decided to make it like a tip menu item. That's awesome. I wonder. That's awesome. To make money off that [ __ ]. Yeah. I mean, I was wasting it before. Sold it out in two weeks. Yeah. I think it was maybe closer to three weeks. But yeah, I had, um, uh, [ __ ]. I don't even remember. 100. I think. Yeah. 100 bottles for $1,000 bucks. 100 grand. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And how did. So you didn't know how this was going to go and you did it and then you're like, then what? What's your thought process after when people started buying it? Um, well, I didn't expect that many people to want it. I thought maybe like five people. Yeah. And they make [ __ ]. You make some money. Great. But you made. But yeah, right. And how do they know it wasn't just tap water? I would to use tap water. Um, she's honest. You could tell she's honest. You know why you could tell she's honest? 'Cause you said so. You did it in two weeks and she said, "I think it was more like three." You could have totally just lied and been like, "Yeah, the line." I think it was 22 days. She's good. I had a drought for a few days. Yeah. Probably. Okay. So, so as these orders are coming in, your phone's going off, beep beep, and you're like, "How did you sell it? What platform did you use? Was it Shopify?" That is not interesting. How are you derailing this conversation? How do you. And the app? 'Cause who's going to payment process squirt water? Anyone who wants squirt water. No, but. Oh, you're saying what app? Yeah. Oh, okay. 'Cause you know Shopify is tricky. They want money. They're like, "We don't like that t-shirt." You can't. But no, the thing is, I, I started with Shopify and then they realized what was happening and they cut me off. All right. Yeah. So then I start. I started doing it through OnlyFans instead. Oh, okay. And I mean, OnlyFans takes a cut, but it's like, whatever. Yeah. But. And then you ship them yourself. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah. So I actually, I had like, I ordered, you know, like the little urine things, but with like a white lid. Instead. I don't know. The little urine things like. Oh, doctor's office. Yeah. Yeah. But they have white lids. And then I put like stickers on them. A. That's cool. And then I put it in like a cold pack. Like, like I made. I made it so it would be like fresh for when I. And I write a little note. Like that's actually cool. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to make it really nice. So, so. But wait, so as these, as your phone's blowing up, "I sold another one. I sold another one." That must be an awesome feeling. You're like, "Oh, I'm." Yeah. Yeah. And I'm also coming at the same time. So awesome feeling physically. And also it, it makes it. I'm going to be able to eat better, you know? I'm going to be able to [ __ ] buy things. That's cool. But you must have had to hydrate a lot. 'Cause I went on set with a girl, Tiffany Watson. She's known here as the squirt queen. No disrespect. Not anymore. Yeah. We'll see. Yeah. Right. If, if you want to show us. You want.

Me to squat right now? Really? I mean, we... I got to step out of the [ __ ] room. If, if you want, just do it. I'll do it. You want to do it on... on Liam? We're both in love. Okay, okay. I see you're committed. Yeah, you're not in love. I'm not. Okay. You want to get squatted on? Oh, wow. Of here, dude. If you, if, if you co... Yeah, no, I'll do it. The... All right. You can let me know what happens after. Okay. Well, I've never done it, so I got to go. You know what? I got to go pee. I got to go squirt myself. Liam, bottle it up. You just sit there. Right? Yeah. Okay. Um, you this like a squirt... Joi? Right? Okay. Wait, have you, have you ever been squirted on before? Never. Is this the slash zone? Um, I could probably get you from there. Yeah. I feel like I'm going to get these drinks though. Okay. Okay. Do you mind if I like... No, that's [Music] great. Hey, Crystal. Leia's back. Holy... You miss out. No, so I go pee. Well, I go pee. I squirted out of my pee penis for... but that was PP. Yours was not P. PE. No, he can B for that. His pants are wet. Let me tell you, that was a lot of squirt. She did it very quickly and it, it went. Yeah. I, I honestly wasn't in the bathroom for... I, I went number one. I didn't go number two. So, so, okay. So you did that and so we put a towel down. Liam got on his knees like a little good boy. Okay. Told him to dirty talk to me. Oh, really? He's never seen a vagina in his life. Did you dirty talk? I did. Did you try? Oh, that's nice. It may... it turned her off more than turned her on, I think. Right? Play with that. He goes like this, nice [ __ ]. You're just like, you're so beautiful. Oh, that pussy's very presentable. So, and she's like, can you just stop for a sec? So, wait. Okay. So he's like, look, you're getting wet for me. Wow. It was actually great. Well, my other question though, is how is this going to be on YouTube? Oh, no, no. We're going to cut that and it's going to be on Sin Party, the best, best adult website in the world. Got it. And, uh, any other adult platform? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. Your first squirt? Your first, uh, vagina interaction? Good job. Really? Yeah. Yeah. A gold star. Well, not anymore. You took it. F... Yeah. Whoa. You're a... What? What did you say? Gold star? What's that? Like, I've never hadal interactions with... Is that what a gold star is? I think so. There's actually one when you're a C-section, you get a different star because you never even came out of the vagina. Oh, really? Yeah. What's that star called? Just super platinum, I guess. I didn't know about this at all. Well, I'm history, bro. I'm here for history, man. I was here for his gay. Yeah. Oh, really? N... You took my gay vinity. You think that you've definitely had sex with gay guys. A lot of gay guys. There's gay guys out there. I mean, yeah, but out. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Out. Out. First gay guy out. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Interesting. Good stuff. Thank you for doing that. That's okay. Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to do that. No, it's good. It's good. Super mic. Good stuff. Okay. Where were we in our, where were we in our, in our, in our interview? You think I remember? That was... Was that a good squirt for you? Yeah. I could have kept, like, I could have done more, but I didn't want to like drown him. Yeah. I didn't want to like traumatize anyone. How many bottles was that? Oh, like, how much do I drink? Yeah. But how many selling? No, you just blew [ __ ] that. You blew $600 right there. Yeah, that's true. So, wait. It was wor... It for him. A sweet. Can all women squirt? You think? No, no, no. Got it. Good question. No. I, I've talked to a lot of girls who like, they want to squirt and they want to learn how to. But they... Is the best way to go like this? Um, yeah, basically, like, you know where the jot is? I actually don't. No idea. Okay. Well, you can reach it with your fingers. It's like the cushiony at the top. Vagina all feels cushiony, honestly. It's pretty... Yeah. But it's like the spongy. Oh, that part. Yeah. Yeah. On on the sides. Like, like at the front. I don't really know what's in there. Do you know what's in there? Anatomy? I feel like it's a whole, like this with like hoods kind of shaped like that. A [ __ ] hoods. How many [ __ ] have you seen? Like a car hood. You open up the hood, the engine's inside. Yeah. And the tailpipe is... Well, how is the vag? It's not a circle. It's more like a... It's like a oval shape. It's like that. Is that how it is? And then it like... Bro, it's come on, man. It's like the whole sun. No, but the inside. Yeah. Yeah. The inside. Oh, the inside. It, it's like textured, but it's like a tube kind of thing. It's a tube. You've had sex before. Yeah. But I never really thought about like, you're not in there like, H... Magic School Bus. This wall is on the left. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But no, like if you finger a go, you can usually feel the gball cuz it's like the, it's a bit that will like swell up. It's almost like the roof of your mouth, if you will. Not really. It's so... It's too hard to find. I never really looked for it in all honesty. Guys have one. I hear. Yeah. In the boot. In their butt. Right? Yeah. You know, I, I know a guy. He goes to TI massages, but they do it special apparently. It's coming up. They don't do the hand jobs. They just do the butt fingering and they, and they bust like that. Yeah. Cuz he does that. Liam comes all the time. No touching his. Yeah. We have. Yeah. That's hot. Wow. Hands-free. Hands-free. Hands-free. Like it's Bluetooth, dude. We set up Sin Party. Okay, let's do it. So we do a game called The Naughty Bucket by Sin Party. Okay. And you have to do one of these things. You have 60 seconds. You go cam to cam with the live cam girl. She has no idea we're doing this. Just pick one from here. Okay. What's... Does it say? It says to juice her to do her best British accent. Hilarious. Who's this? A girl on cam. A live cam girl. So you have 60 seconds. Tell her you're turned on by, by a British accent. She thinks you want to [ __ ], but you're like, no, I really want to hear. Do British accent. We could switch it up though. I don't understand. I'm so confused by this, but I'll try. You're going to go on live cam and then this on Sin Party, you go cam to cam. It's amazing. Okay. It's like b-time sex. Okay. Yeah. It's actually awesome. Hey, babe. I would really love to hear you talk in a British accent. I find it so [ __ ] sexy. Can you do that for me? Can you try your best, please? It gets me so [ __ ] wet. Good job. Oh my gosh. I don't know. Please just try. Even if you try, it'll, it'll turn me on so much. Even if you [ __ ] up, I don't care. Go. Pretty please. Pretty please. Tell hurry the [ __ ] up. Hurry the [ __ ] up. I'm honey now. Good job. Good job. D... Please, for me. Just do your best. Okay. I want you to say, um, oh my God, that's good [ __ ]. Yeah, I love that. Great work. Do you mind if we post that on social media? Huh? All right. See you later. See you later. Okay. Good stuff. Thank you, Liam. Good work. What, what the f is that? I'm, by the way, that Jackson. It was amazing. It was amazing. I thought she going be like, hello, Governor. But she was just... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was good. So, wait, who was the other person that you were just talking to? A live person on this chat? You don't even know. Yeah. Let here. Take your mic. Yeah. Live cam girl. So Sin Party has cam girls, and then you show your own face and you co-masturbate with them. That's the idea. So it's for GU... It's for guys. Yeah. But so when they see her, they're like, what the [ __ ] the deal? It's not a guy. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, oh, hot lesbo. You know? Okay. Okay. Is lesbo like not good anymore? I think it's fine. Labo's good. Dyke is out. Yeah. Can't do that. Yeah. I guess Dyke is out. Can you not? I don't know. I, I've been saying. I used to throw Dyke around. Emma Magnolia told me not to say it anymore. Oh, okay. I feel like the dwad is more like a, you know, Butch. Right? Yeah. And those Butchy ones, they pull the hottest girls. Hotter than anyone. Well, that, you know why though? It's because those women who are with them, they want men, but they're kind of like, they're like, I'm kind of scared of men, right? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I know. If you... I'm speaking general, not everyone, but yeah, some, some girls. Yeah. But you, you don't do that. You don't do... You don't hunt lesbian girls. Yeah. I'm into like feminine girl. Holy [ __ ] boys. Yeah. It's [ __ ] happening. Someone finally created the ultimate dick pump. Un... I tried it and it blew my [ __ ] mind. Immediately after the first use, it grew in size and girth, and I'm not [ __ ] lying. It's the only one in the world that's FDA approved. It's actually a [ __ ] legit. You put it in and you, and, and it's not even just for the size. I'm telling you guys, this changed my [ __ ] life. It just gives you rock-hard [ __ ] erections. You have that extra M all day. Just walk between your pants. I last longer. This changed my [ __ ] life. It's called Bathmate, by the way. And there's two types of guys in the world now. Those that use it and those that are [ __ ] losers. Every girl gets her hair done. Every guy should be using Bathmate. Guess what? We're giving a discount to all the Pillow Talkers in the world. Just go to the link below. Go check the reviews. Everyone swears by it because this is the only way now. And who's your favorite girl to work with? Is it Angel? Um, I do like working with her, but I think I have two favorites. One is Stella Barry. Yeah. And Queen. Yeah. Cuz she likes anal and not a lot of girls do, and I do. Okay. So it's fun working with her. Um, and I don't know if you know Valer Steel. She's also a big squatter, like she's married to the other Steel guy, who's Danny Steel, Jason Steel. Who's the Steel? A lot of Steels. Probably. I don't know. I know she has a boyfriend, but I don't know if they're married. But you know, I asked that question every episode. What? And 90% say Angela White. Yeah. No, I definitely. I like super nice. Or what? Super nice. Super good at eating [ __ ]. Super good at [ __ ]. Everyone says she's the best at each category. Yeah. She's good at like sort of taking lead or like working off your energy. Oh my God, I just spilled that on myself. But yeah, that's okay. You... I know I've done. Once you need to hydrate. Yeah. Um, no, she, she's really good to work with. She was like, like I said, she was one of the first people I worked with in LA and she taught me a lot. Good for you. That's cool. Good for you. Chris, have you ever, uh, filmed yourself? When I was 20, four, probably. I was with my girlfriend because I know it was before I started stand-up. Okay. Uh, and I had sex with my girlfriend and we tried to film it and then I, we were like, all right, let's look. And it's, and I pressed play. I saw one like little frame of it and I go, we got to delete this, dude. I did not watch it. So, not I kind of did, but I didn't actually look at it. Yeah. Probably have to practice. I, I would, I would. You did PE or you did a tripod? I would start by doing solo [ __ ]. Probably just me. Oh, yeah. Just regular setup. Nice. Three camera shoot. You know what I mean? Honestly, that's hot. I'd watch. Hot. No, I've never done it. You watch guys jerking off? Yeah, sometimes. You see... I don't get it. Well, you don't watch him off, right? Yeah. I mean, a guy comes. Most straight girls watch lesbian porn. But hold on. I watch everything, honestly. Girls watch. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. But you're probably just interested in sex, right? That's probably where a lot of it comes from. Yeah. So, so you, you're interested in a bunch of different aspects of it. Like for me, like that's what you do for your job. Like for comedy, I've seen it all. I've seen sketch. I've seen all this [ __ ]. I've seen that [ __ ]. I've seen stand-up. I see, you know, and it's like, oh, okay. It's interesting to me and I like this, but I appreciate it, but it's not what I do. You know? I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. There's like a bit of research involved. Like you'll watch things just to be like, oh, how do you, how do you do this? How do you do a Joi? How's your acting game? My acting, um, isn't it crazy? You want to [ __ ] for a living now, you have to become an actor and you have to be good. Yeah. I think, like, most of my scenes, they're very natural. Like there will be like role play and stuff like that, and I think with role play, like I get into it, so I'm pretty good at it. But not like, cuz you know that part that we all skip at the beginning? The acting. Yeah. You set up the scene. That takes about 7 hours on average to film. I understand. And then the sex part takes about an hour or two hours to film. But they really work at the acting. They go through it, they rehearse it, they take different frames. Crazy to me. Yeah. It's like, oh, we're acting today. 10-hour day. C... Don't do that part. You're making, you're making the job harder than it needs to be. That's crazy, dude. I guess if you work for like big productions, you do have that big, like cinematic. I've heard Vixen does 16-hour shoots sometimes. All acting, acting. And then you, and then you, and you probably the [ __ ] later. So you're exhausted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not. Dude, if I was in porn, I would just be like, I'm just going to be only doing sex. I'm not going to be a cop. I'm not going to be a [ __ ] you know, paleontologist or whatever the [ __ ] you got to roleplay as. I'm only... Oh my God, did you order a [ __ ]? That's where I come in. I'm not. I'm already going to be in the room like a genie. I'm not even. I'm not ringing anything, dude. Hey, I'm here. I can squirt too. I was on a set two weeks ago and they were like, did you go over your lines? Actually, some of them met up to practice their lines, but they didn't practice [ __ ]. You're trying. You're working too hard at the things that don't matter. This is crazy. I did not know this. Cuz most guys go, okay, 14 minutes and they start, right? That's what most guys do. Okay. I don't know. I, I don't know. I, I know like guys are like, man, that's like, a lot of guys are like, that'd be the dream job. You know? I, I probably in the beginning, it might be cool, but then you, you're going to get to the day where, oh man, I don't really want to go. And that day sucks. Cuz you really got to get into it, get hard. Most of them don't [ __ ] off camera ever. They just save their loads for filming. The guys. Yeah. They'd never [ __ ]. A lot of them. And a lot of guys aren't necessarily attracted to the people they walk with as well, cuz you can't be attracted to everyone, right? So they have like fluffers that like keep them hot in between scenes. But you, you work with men too, right? Huh? You work with men too? Yeah. But I, I don't do like, uh, production stuff. Got it. It's your own [ __ ]. Oh, you just, so you pick the dudes? Yeah. Yeah. I pick everyone I work with. So. Oh, you've never done mainstream? No. Wow. Oh, that's cool. That's kind of a flex. Yeah. That is a flex. Yeah. No, I, yeah, I definitely enjoy like choosing who I work with because like, you want to work with people you're attracted to. Yeah. Now you can. Back then in the '80s, you had to be under contract. You had to do a. And now you can just do it yourself. That's like what I'm doing with my special Crystal.com. It's available now. What an episode. 10 out of 10. Dainty Wilder. What a guest. Crystal Leia. What a co-host. Thanks. What a show. Oh, I have a gift for you before we leave. It's a dick pump. I'd like to present this. For me? Yeah. Yeah. If you can open that. Dude, this case is like something that like, wow, right? This, it's like a legit. I, I'm a businessman. And then I open it up and I go, got to pump my dick. This is a dick pump. Yeah. How big is that? So it makes the dick pump is way bigger than my dick. I'll tell you that much. That's how big your dick is going to be. This big, dude. My wife. The... Oh, no. That's what you're hear. I've heard you say you're happy with your pee, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm very happy with my. Good for you. Good. What's it, what's it like? Uh, totally straight. Um, no, no. To be happy with your pee. Oh, okay. Uh, well, you say you like your pee. What's it like? I was going to describe it. Describe. Totally straight. You know, it's a tall boy. Circumcised. Yeah. I am. Yeah. Respect. Um, what's it like to be happy with a penis? I don't ever [ __ ] think about my penis, man. Oh, I don't ever, like, it's not something. If you have a small penis, it's got to affect your life hardcore because you're always kind of, you know that about yourself, you know what I mean? But when you have a good deck, you just walk around. Hey, I don't think about my dick. Yeah, I guess. Or confidence. You get confidence from other stuff, maybe. I mean, I don't know. I guess I, I think my, I, I'm totally happy with my penis. Great answer. Nice. Good stuff. What an episode. Dainty Wilder, do you have any plugs you want to say? Dainty Wilder on Instagram. Uh, no, it's actually Dainty Mild...er. Cuz oh, yes. My Wilder account got deleted. Oh, you had Wilder? Yeah. Now I'm mild. You know, this looks, not this looks amazing. Okay. Yo, it's [ __ ] good. And you said it works. I love it. You... No, no balls. You got to trim your pubes. So it's this stick. My... Ryan, how do I get my balls down? Good [ __ ]. Crystalia special. Grow or Die. That's what it's called. Crystal.com. Probably coming out yesterday or tomorrow. It's out by now. By. Yeah. Legendary. I've seen it three times live. Best stand-up I've ever seen. I'm not capping about that. I messaged you after the show and I said that. You did say that. Yeah. You're, you're... I appreciate you. Best comedian in the world. You already know. Thank you, man. You already know. Appreciate it. All right, I'm Ryan. Pillow Talk. See you next [Applause] [Music] Tuesday.